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What role does Self Compassion play? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: What role does self compassion play?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: So self-compassion is an area to work in when you're processing guilt after losing someone.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is self-compassion?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: In the most basic terms, it is being kind to yourself.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like treating yourself with warmth, empathy, kindness and understanding, as if you were caring for a friend who was going through a bad time.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: The act of self well self-compassionate acts consistently can help you to feel sort of self-forgiveness and acceptance around the situations where maybe you've been blaming yourself.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is so important that if you are feeling guilty after a loss to explore this with this kindness and not harsh criticism.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: So to help with self-compassion, I encourage you to think back on your life with a loved one and reflect on acts of kindness you showed, the support you gave, your presence in their lives and the fun you had together.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is not always easy, obviously, if you had a complicated or estranged relationship with the deceased.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So you can reframe unhelpful or negative self-talk by changing I should have phrases to I did the best I could.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Remind yourself that you did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and capacity you had then.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: And next really separate the past into actual reality and hindsight.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hindsight is not factual, it's it's it's it's regret basically, in a negative way.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: So your self-critical thoughts are usually based on hindsight rather than reality.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not always, most of the time.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: You can also write a compassionate letter to yourself as if you've had a letter from a friend who's reassuring you and understanding.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: Hugging yourself is another great way to elicit feelings of warmth and care towards yourself.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Hug yourself like a loved one would.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: So there are a few things to get you started on the self-compassion journey.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but for support around loss, I encourage you to contact Cruise Bereavement Support using their national helpline number, which is 0808-808-1677.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're struggling in the moment at any time, night or day, I would also encourage you to call the Samaritans on 116-123.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: Please take care, practice self-compassion, and seek support if you need to.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.