Latest / Balanced Mom Life | self care, time management, boundaries, guilt, goal setting / 36 | Presence Over Pressure: A Better Way to Balance Family Life

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36 | Presence Over Pressure: A Better Way to Balance Family Life · Balanced Mom Life | self care, time management, boundaries, guilt, goal setting

• 0:00
  If I asked you where your time goes every day, could you actually answer, you know,
• 0:05
  not the calendar version or the carpool version, I mean the invisible minutes,
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  the ones that disappear between tasks, you know, the small pockets you swear do not exist,
• 0:15
  but somehow your day still ends and you feel like you've had no time for yourself.
• 0:22
  Today, I'm sharing three things I've learned about how I spend my time in this season and why
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  this realization completely changed the way I experience my days without pulling me away from
• 0:33
  my family. But before we dive in, if you're a mom in this in-between season of motherhood trying to
• 0:39
  find time for yourself without stepping away from your family, I want you to join my email list.
• 0:46
  That's where I share deeper reflections and some tools and conversations from moms
• 0:53
  just like you so you can find the link in the show notes.
• 1:03
  Do you want to balance pursuing something for yourself and showing up for your family but
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  feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? Welcome to Balanced Mom Life. I'm Sarah,
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  a coach's wife and mom of three teens, and I get it. It's easy to lose sight of who you are
• 1:19
  while trying to keep up with everyone else's needs. On this podcast, I share my simple method
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  for creating balance in this transitional season of motherhood, one that helped me find time for
• 1:30
  myself without the overwhelm or guilt. So if you're done waiting for someday and ready to
• 1:35
  move forward in this season with confidence, you're in the right spot. Let's get to it.
• 1:41
  You know, this season of motherhood is a wild ride, isn't it? On paper, our kids are growing up,
• 1:54
  they should be doing more stuff on their own, right? But somehow, we feel busier than ever.
• 2:01
  The calendar is full, the mental load is loud, and the idea of having time for yourself
• 2:09
  feels theoretical at best. This in-between stage is also confusing because we're not changing
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  diapers, we're not wiping noses, yet we feel more stretched than ever. And the biggest surprise I've
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  had with raising tweens and teens is this. It isn't that I don't have time, it's that I've
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  had to completely relearn how I see it. So today, I'm getting real about time.
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  Yeah, we're talking about it. And none of it is about productivity hacks. It's all about awareness
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  because once I saw these patterns, I couldn't unsee them. And I'm sharing them with you today,
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  my friend. The first one, are you ready? So small pockets of time have a bigger payoff
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  than I ever believed. So I used to think I needed a full uninterrupted hour to do
• 3:04
  anything meaningful. If I couldn't do it right, I didn't do it at all. And that mindset kept me
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  stuck for years. So what I learned in this season is that motherhood is built on fragments of time.
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  10 minutes here, 15 minutes there. And the window I have before pickup or the quiet after dinner
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  or that random Tuesday afternoon when no one is home. These pockets, they look insignificant in
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  the moment, but consistent effort inside small windows compounds. So if you are a visual person,
• 3:44
  hang with me here. Just picture you have this long circular tube, like it's super long.
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  And like, you can't even see to the other side when you put your eye in it because it is so
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  long, right? And it winds around and all the things. Well, let's just say you start stuffing
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  socks in the tube, right? Well, it might take a long time for the socks to empty out on the
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  other side because they're going around this windy tube. But if you keep depositing the socks,
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  inside the tube consistently, there will be momentum that builds where they come out on the
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  other side. And you know, you need to do this with your time and not in a hustle way,
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  but in an identity way, tiny decisions repeated over time, quietly shape who you become.
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  The issue isn't that we don't have time. Okay. It's that we dismiss the time we do have
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  because it doesn't look impressive enough. I'm going to say that again.
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  We dismiss the time that we do have because it does not look impressive enough. And when you
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  start respecting small pockets, your relationship with time shifts. Number two, if your identity and
• 5:05
  priorities are not clear, these pockets, poof, they disappear. This was the uncomfortable part
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  for me because once I realized I did have small pockets of time, I had to take a really hard look
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  at how easily they slipped through my hands. Whether it was doom scrolling on Facebook or
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  going on realtor.com and knowing every single house that was in my neighborhood for sale,
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  all the way to how many bedrooms and the price and all of the things to defaulting to chores
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  or reacting instead of choosing. And it wasn't because I was lazy or it wasn't because I didn't
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  care, but because I hadn't decided who I was protecting time for. Because time doesn't
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  automatically go to what matters most. It goes to what screams the loudest.
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  So if you are walking by your laundry room and the laundry is piling up and it's like saying,
• 6:03
  Sarah, you need to do the laundry now. Well, that becomes urgent. And you know,
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  one thing I've learned in this stage of motherhood is everything screams. And if you don't anchor
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  your time to identity, and if you don't anchor your time to identity to the women that you're
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  becoming, not just the mom you are, those pockets, they get absorbed by urgency. And at the end of
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  the week, you feel busy, but oddly disconnected from yourself. And one thing that really helped
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  me is when I started on this journey to finding more time for myself, when I wanted to pursue
• 6:44
  something just for me, I looked at my calendar. And for example, when my oldest daughter was in
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  middle school, she was in competitive swimming and the practice was 25 minutes away, just a one
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  way drive. Well, I wasn't going to come back home just to turn back around and pick her up. No.
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  And so I could have easily walked into Target during her time that she was at practice and
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  mindlessly strolled around Target, maybe walking out of there with a hundred dollars of stuff that
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  I didn't even need. Or I could plan and prepare because I was super clear on what I wanted to
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  prioritize beforehand. And so I could make time for that and have it be meaningful. And this isn't
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  about doing more. Okay. You don't want to like, Oh my gosh, I have to cram all these things into
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  my spare time. No, it's about recognizing that clarity is what turns scattered minutes into
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  intentional time. Number three, the art of enjoying the moment while still thinking ahead.
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  And this one surprised me because I used to think you had to choose
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  be present with your kids or plan for your future. Like those two things were in competition with
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  each other, but this stage of motherhood, it actually demands both. I mean, our kids,
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  they're growing toward independence and they're doing this, whether we're emotionally ready or
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  not. I mean, I have a senior in high school graduating in a couple of short months. And
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  my husband and I were talking about this, the moment that she goes to college, it's a short
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  time later that the other one will go. And then the other one will go and it will be in warp speed.
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  And man, I am so glad that I've learned these things before then. So I wasn't like, Oh my gosh,
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  what's going to happen when they leave, when they all are grown and gone. And I've learned, yes,
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  that enjoying this season more actually happens when I stop pretending it will last forever.
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  Thinking ahead doesn't steal the moment. It deepens it. When you allow yourself to imagine
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  what's next, your interest, your energy, and your time, you show up lighter in the present because
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  you're not clinging to it for dear life saying, don't grow up on me. I don't want you to get
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  older. Now. Yes. Some of that is actually normal and it's healthy and it's okay. Right. But what
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  I'm talking about is like, you don't want to dread the moment that your kids leave.
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  And it's important that you realize you're participating in this process. There's a
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  difference. If there's a thread connecting all three of these things together, it's this time
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  isn't just about scheduling. It's about identity. The way you experience your days is shaped less
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  by how much time you have and more by how intentionally you relate to it. And most moms
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  never get space to actually think about that. They just keep running like they're on this
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  treadmill to nowhere and they just are exhausted all of the time. If this episode hit a nerve,
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  well, that's actually what I wanted it to do. And it's a good sign because awareness is
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  the doorway. It's the moment you stop assuming this is just, Oh, how life is. And you start
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  asking better questions. And that's exactly the work I do with women that I coach helping moms
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  in this stage, reclaim time and clarity without disconnecting from the people they love the most.
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  And it's not about cramming more into your day, but it's about changing how you see it.
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  If this conversation resonated with you and you are looking for support and encouragement,
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  I want to invite you to our Facebook community. You can find the link in the show notes
• 10:41
  until next time. Remember it is totally possible to pursue something for yourself, whether it be
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  for health and wellness, or maybe you just like want to go on a date with your husband
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  or spend more time with your kids or hang out with your girlfriends. It is so possible while
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  not sacrificing that time with your family. You've got this friend. Hey friend, I hope you enjoyed
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  today's episode. If it encouraged you, would you take 30 seconds and share it with a friend who
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  might need a little support in this in-between season of motherhood? And if you have a moment,
• 11:15
  I'd love for you to leave a quick review. It truly lights me up to know this podcast is helping you
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  until then. Remember that finding time for yourself is possible and you can start right now.