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An Unlikely Affair: Probation From Men · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Amber. Hi, Lola. Welcome to An Unlikely Affair. Hello,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: my loves. Welcome back to another episode of An Unlikely Affair.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: I'm surviving. I live to see another week. You look
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: really cute today, actually. Really? Yeah, you have a sweater on.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: That's weird, right? It's not really sweater weather yet. It
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: is in Montana. But it was freezing this morning. In
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: your house or outside? Outside. I woke up. We went
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: to get in the car to take Ocean to the
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: bus stop, and she was like, it's freezing, Mom. I
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: believe I need a sweater. I was like, I believe
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: we both do. Oh, my gosh.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: I just, for whatever reason, I had that vision. You
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: posted a story yesterday of Ocean from inside, outside, like
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: on that lawn chair going the wrong way with her
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: head down.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: What was she doing? She was treating the lounge chair
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: like it was a slide. I was dead. I don't
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: know why. I was like, that's how she is acting.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: That's how I feel inside right now. What was that? Like,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I have never been so tired in my entire life.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I haven't been that tired since I gave birth. You
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: know when you just can't keep your eyes open? I
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: couldn't form sentences over the weekend. It's exhausting. Truly. I know.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I feel you.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: It was a long week, and I was like— and you
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: know what it is? It's just working— And the days
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: that we're working right now is not typical.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: So it's kind of like thrown the days off. You
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: know what I mean? Yeah. Like between filming and then
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: having to like be a mom and show up in
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: those ways. And then like right now I only have
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Sunday as like my day off. And then there are
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: times where I get these invites from kids' parents where
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: it's like so-and-so's birthday party on Sunday. And I'm like,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I just can't do it.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: No.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I was supposed to go to Night of the Jack.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I love the Night of the Jack. Same, but fuck that.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not leaving the couch. And by
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: the way, all I did was eat carbs last weekend.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're also not eating well. You're on this like
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: bad eating train again. Again?
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, again. Do I do it often? Yeah. I know.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: I can tell when you slip.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Like that's your like emotional, it's either like emotional like
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: breakdown and then you go into the food.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: But I get it because I'm the same way. I know,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: but can I tell you, I'm one stressed out day
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: away from becoming a skeleton. So when I have the
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: bread or the chili cheese dog or the cheese and crackers.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Or the Taco Bell at 10 p.m. That was really bad.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, last week, I picked you up two days
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: to work out. Actually, no, I think you picked me up.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: And you're like, my stomach is busted.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, he better not attach weights to
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: my feet and make me do leg lifts. And what
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: did he do? He attached weights. I'm like, this could
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: go real bad. This could go real bad. Leg raises.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Let's go, ladies. Jeez. How's probation going? From men. God,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I really feel like a prisoner. In my own skin. Why?
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Because you're forced to sit with yourself and you don't
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: have an outlet? You know what? For a second, I
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: was like, here's the thing. I don't work well when
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: someone tells me what to do.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Like, if you want me to do something, you have
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: to play reverse psychology, even though I know you're playing
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: reverse psychology on me to get me to do the
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: thing that you want me to do.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: So with you and my sponsor telling me like, okay,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: you're going to take a beat.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't want to, but I'm doing it.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: And it's very uncomfortable, but I know that in moments
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: of being uncomfortable is a lot of growth. And I
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: already feel, first of all, the conversation with the guy
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: was beautiful.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: It was like, you know what?
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: We're really not each other's person. It was fun while
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: it lasted. And it's like, okay, seven weeks of a
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: good rendezvous, but moving on. And I was so glad
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: that I had the courage because it takes a lot
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: for me to end something. I'll just sit in it
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: even when I'm unhappy. But the gift of sobriety is
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: being able to say, I don't think he's my person
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: and not impulsively break up with them, right? Not just
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: like freak out one day and then like cause like chaos.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, this is interesting. Let me stay curious
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: about why I'm feeling. And like Kara always says, look,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: don't stare. So when a feeling comes up. And so
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: that's what I did for a couple of weeks.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what?
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, I think this is my clarity that I'm seeking
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: because I would wake up and still feel the same way.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: So when you guys told me I have to take
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: a beat and I'm not allowed to be intimate with
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: anyone and just sit with myself and date myself. That's
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: exactly what I'm doing. So last Tuesday, I took myself
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: to an early dinner before my AA meeting.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Where'd you go? Air One.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I'm an expensive. So LA.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: I figured out the good way for Air One not
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: to be so expensive, but that's for another episode.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: Okay. That's a whole episode. That's a whole episode. How
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: not to go broke by eating at Air One in
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: Los Angeles.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: And then yesterday, Riley had dance class. She's starting a
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: new dance class and it's over the hill. And it's
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: an hour and a half. And so I was like,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: you know what? You're just, I was like, who can
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I call to girl or boy to like hang out
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: with or go? And I was like, no, you're just
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: going to be by yourself. So I took myself to
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Earth Cafe.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Okay. I got a croissant. Wow. An iced tea.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And I walked down the shops on Melrose. I went
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: to the RealReal and like looked.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: By the way, I saw you in there and I
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: like zoomed in and I was like, rag and bone.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: She's over on like Melrose. What the fuck? See what happens?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: So far, I started panicking. Like, no, no, no. I
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: don't like when you're far away.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Come back to the Valley. Speaking of that, let me
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: tell you something. It's chaos on this side of the hill.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: On our side of the hill? No, the city side. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: On the weekends, I was stressing out. I was like,
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it's hot. I can't breathe. Like, there's couples walking around
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: holding hands, looking happy. Oh, no, don't show Amber a couple.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: She may tweak out and go find a boyfriend.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: It was really, no, so probation is going well. Thank
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: you for asking me.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: You're welcome. I'm enjoying it. Let me tell you, I
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: have been Dating. Oh, share more. It's stressful. I know.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: The whole thing. And I have said this to you
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: before and Chris Medina, I did a reading with him
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: last year and I'll like show him men who I'm
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: talking to and he'll be like, he's not your person
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: just so you know. And I'm like, well, how do
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: I even continue talking to them if I know it's
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: not going to go anywhere? Like, which is weird because
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: we've had this conversation over and over again where I'm
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: actually attracting The person that I am, if that makes sense.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: You said to me, you're attracting people who are one
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: foot in, one foot out. And it was like, wow,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: this is a profound moment because I feel like I
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: work best one foot in, one foot out. You know?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Because it's safe. Because it feels safe. Yes. So do
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: you think you have commitment issues? Well, that's, yes. Because, like...
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: And I don't think that it came from the trauma
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: that happened. I think it came from that situation put
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: me into a spot where it was like, you don't
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: have anyone to fall back on. So you really have
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: to like find your footing on your own. There's like financially,
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: emotionally where I did it. And now I'm like, I've
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: built this. The only person that can relate is Brittany,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: by the way. I've built this foundation for my life
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: and it's become so comfortable that when I think about
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: a person coming in, I'm like, well, this is going
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: to mess up everything. Like we're a well-oiled machine right now.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: That's how I feel. Yes.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: I feel that way about living with someone. That scares
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: me because I have not slept next to anyone, like
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: shared a bedroom with since I was divorced. Like the
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: relationship I was in for seven years after I got divorced,
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: we didn't live together except for the pandemic.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: So I always had my place. Like I always had
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: my own bedroom. So it's very, that freaks me out.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, what if you're in love, right? And
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: you love this person, but then, and that's kind of
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: like having one foot in, one foot out, not living together.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: You know what though, New Orleans, I was so in it.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: I was like, I will give you my whole closet.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: What do you want me to move?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: Like, I was in it. Yeah, but you were.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: Move in.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you had the needle in your arm for sure. Yeah,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: that's called an emotional relapse if I've ever seen one.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: You're like, I'll give him a baby and shit on
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: his face. I'm like, no. No, I said I'd let
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: him shit on my face. Oh. Not my face, my chest.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay. Don't get crazy now. Now you're going wild.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: But Chris Medina said, he goes, Lala, the men that
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: you have shown me, they're not your guy. What I'm
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: picturing is you have a man who's the type where
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: you'll have people over at your house and he tells
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: everyone it's time to leave because I need to spend
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: time with my girl and takes you upstairs. And I'm like,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: that sounds so nice. Yeah. That sounds amazing. Little things
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: like that, I'm like, There, there's, when I think about sexy,
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: it's such a different thing than like, oh my God, I,
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: I need to fuck this person. There's two things that
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: happen to me. I either see a guy and I'm like,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: oh my God, I have to have them inside of
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: me like immediately. Or it's like a different vibe where
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I need to touch and be intimate with
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: this person. Like, does that make sense? Yes. Yeah. that
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: are sexy that don't necessarily mean I need to sleep
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: with you right now.
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like the doctor with the sex doctor
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: we had on, Ian Kerner, and he talked.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: About the foreplay. It's like how it starts well before
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: the bedroom. Yes.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: And that really like stuck with me in a big way.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: That conversation, guys, if you haven't listened to it, you
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: have to go back because that really stuck with me.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: It did with me too. We've had, we've had a
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: few guests on where there's like when we had Jill
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Winterstein on and she talked about like confidence versus self-worth
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: that like blew my mind and has stuck with me.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: But there's like a difference, right? Yeah. Um, but what
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: are some things for you like in a man where
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: you're like, Oh my God, that is so like the
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: things that aren't talked about, that is so sexy. And
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily mean like I need to like have
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: him inside of me right now, but just like, How
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: do you melt?
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: The first thing that came to mind was calling me
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: in the morning. Because that means your eyes are open.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: Hopefully you're praying to the God or something bigger than you.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And then the second person you're thinking of is me.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I love that too. It's like I... Oh my God,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: it makes me giddy. I love that. I don't want
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: to have to wait to see if you're going to
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: call me. I also... I also love a man that
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: can hang art, like pictures. Oh, my God. That stresses
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: me out. A handyman. Ugh. Just be somewhat of a handyman. Oh,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: my God. A man who's like, don't worry, I got this. Yeah,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: he doesn't need to change the oil. Well, that would
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: be nice. But, like, the tires might be a lot.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Take my car to get changed. The oil change. That's nice.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: You know, he's going to say, babe, I know you
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: got a big week ahead. I'm going to take your
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: car to the car wash for you. Ugh.
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: Okay. That would be, what would that be like? I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: don't think I'm asking for a lot here. Oh my God.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you, I didn't even know how to
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: fill my car up with gas before I moved to LA.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: You're joking. I'm not. Oh my gosh. My dad would
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: take my car to get filled up. I had, I
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: had no idea how to fill up my car with gas.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: It's very sweet, but also like Easton and I were
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: enabled for a money of year. We're like just baby.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I make London and Riley do that. I'm like, here's
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: my credit card. Or I'll drop Riley off at the,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: if she wants something from like Whole Foods, I'll give
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: her my credit card. I say, go get your stuff.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go park the car and I'll meet
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: you inside. Oh, this is a good one. This is a,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: actually this one has really changed for me as I've
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: gotten older.
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: A man who's good with dogs.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. I want to see what
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: you're like with your animals. Like, you're not just, like, demanding.
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: That has changed. You said probably a few months ago
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: that you couldn't stand on a dating profile a man
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: who has their dog in, like, a sleep sock. Yes,
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: that's unattractive. Okay.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: But I'm saying emotionally how you— I want to see
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: someone that, like, gives their dog love and not just say, like,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: go lay down.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't like that. I'm like, whoa. Calm down.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Calm down.
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: Like, unless you did something naughty, like, you don't need
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: to talk to your dog that way.
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: You're so naughty right now. Yeah, that really, like, it's
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: it for me. of Pablo Pablo's a fucking force and
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: like he gets in your face and it's not like
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: some little chihuahua it's like a lot of head and
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: body and mouth and breath and I'm like I love
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: you so much goodbye go away go away yeah he
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: like doesn't understand obviously I don't speak dog but you're
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: totally right I don't want you to I don't want
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: you to have a dog and treat it like an
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: animal I also love a man.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Who could like um Like, change, like, the horse's shoes.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Like, a horseshoer. Oh, shit. We're talking, like, real men.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Like, have you ever seen this video on Instagram that they're, like,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: doing horseshoeing?
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, fuck, yes. No, that's so hot.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: It's not in my algorithm. Your algorithm is hella different
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: than mine. Whoa. Horseshoe changing. I don't know why. That's
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: so attractive to me. She is so Montana. I can't
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: even deal with it. Someone get this girl back to
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the fucking farm. This one really gets my panties dropping.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: Parallel parking, changing attire, assembling furniture. Honestly, out of all
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: of those, a man parallel parking. Which means I'm riding
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: shotgun and I don't even have to worry about if
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: there's valet. I am Cher from Clueless. Where he's like,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: it's time to parallel park. And she's like, what's the point?
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: Everywhere you go has valet. Like, I look it up
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, if there's not valet, I'm not fucking
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: with that restaurant, okay? You got me fucked up if
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: you think I'm going to park the GMC in between
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: two little Fiat's. I love valet. Like, forget it.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Like, I will pay $ 20 to valet everywhere I go.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: It's worth it. 100%. I will give you my whole vehicle.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Can you park this car? If you can, you can
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: have it. Take it. I love. I'm so stupid. I
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: love it. Oh, a man who whips that big body
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: into a parking spot in between two cars flawlessly. What
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: else can you park flawlessly? Oh, that was a smooth transition. Um,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: We talk about this all the time, how a guy
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: treats a waiter or a server, what makes it attract. Like,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: that's just like the most basic level of just like
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: human decency and like a civilized person.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: I went on a date to this place called Avra
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: here in Beverly Hills.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Avra? Avra. Love Avra. It's so good. Mediterranean, right? How
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: come we haven't been there together? Me and you? Yes.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Because we don't come over here, babe.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: Overwhelming. I really love Avra. We should go. I will
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: do a whole restaurant tour with you on this side
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: of the hill. I love that. We should. Let's do
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Avra and a little stroll. Oh, yeah. I love a stroll.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: I love a little stroll after Avra. Maybe a little
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: Rodeo drive and blow some cash that we don't have.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: Do you remember the last time we went to Chanel
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: with your mom and she was like, wait, there's a line?
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Now you have to go in the back. Do you
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: remember the day we went to Louis Vuitton? You got
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: that really cute. Oh, yeah.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: And then we're like, let's walk to Chanel. And then
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: now it's like, you can't just walk into Chanel.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I know. You have to like sign up. I'm not
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: signing up. I'm like, fuck you. Do you know who
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: the fuck I am? I'm here to window shop, bitch.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: Let me in. Eight grand for a bag. You got
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: me fucked up. Oh, I'm so happy. I found my
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Cartier watch.
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: Speaking of that, I've been wanting a Cartier watch and
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I was actually looking at the RealReal and I found
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: it this morning.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: What do you mean? You bought that? It doesn't work?
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: By the way, though, is a watch really to tell time? No.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: It's an accessory. It's like my earrings. It's like a
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: glorified bracelet. I'm shopping in my house right now. It's
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: pretty amazing. Let me come over. Please do. You've got
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: some sick Chanel cuffs that I need to borrow. Anytime, baby. Um...
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: What were you saying? You went to Avra and what happened?
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, and the guy was rude to the waitress like
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: multiple times.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I was mortified, you guys. I was like, this is so...
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And so I.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: Was trying to be like extra nice to make up
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: for his assholeness. And I was like, wow, never went
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: on a date with him again.
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I don't blame you. That was a one and done. Yeah, awful.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: The way he talks about his mom or his sisters,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: does that tell you everything you need to know?
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. It is. It is. I don't think I could
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: trust a man who doesn't have sisters. Well, what if
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: he just has brothers and it wasn't his choice? That's fine.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: It's not your choice. But like, I just noticed that
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: you don't know... You don't understand how the female mind works. Like...
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: When I come home and I share my life experiences
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: with men to Easton, he will literally tell me, he's like,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're bringing this up because now if
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: I ever get into a relationship with someone who has kids,
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: I know how certain things come across. I will know
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: how to talk to her about her kids or things
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: that maybe I didn't know were offensive. This guy, I
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: forgot exactly what was said, but he basically goes... You know,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: your kids are basically telling me that my kids are
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: the most important thing and we have to protect them.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: And I was like, bitch, you think I don't know that,
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: you dumb motherfucker? Yeah. Shut the fuck up. He was
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: saying this on a date? He was telling me this
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: over text and I lit his ass up. I was like, bro,
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: I don't need you to talk to me about protecting
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: my children and that they're the most important thing. No shit. Yeah,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: thanks for the reminder. Thanks for the reminder, asshole. Yeah.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: And Easton was like, wow, okay, I just learned something.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't point out that her children— I think I
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: was there when that happened.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: You were.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I shouldn't point out that her children are the
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: most important thing because she knows that already. I'm like, yes,
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: that's annoying. Yeah. Don't say that to me. Yeah. Anyway—
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: okay um oh a guy who remembers the small details
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: you mentioned weeks ago that's so cute it's very cute
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: like what's your favorite flower and then buys them for
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: you yeah like a month later how would that feel Ugh, amazing. Yeah.
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: Please don't send me red roses with baby's breath in them. No. No.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I'll have a panic attack. I hate red roses. We
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: know why, right? Like, I'm really— Scarred. Yes.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: You send me red roses, I am taking those roses
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: to the closest senior citizen's home.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: And giving them to all the women. Sorry. I'm obsessed
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: with you right now. What's your favorite flower? Oh, I
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: love the ones that we had at... And I had
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: no idea that anemones were a flower. Anemones? Yeah, it's
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: apparently like the same as the thing in the sea. Oh.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: I'm looking it up. I was going to say, it
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: sounds like a word from Finding Nemo. Anemone flower. Let
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: me see. Oh, do we like the same? This says
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: anatomy flower.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, they're so cute. I love them. They
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: were at my party that I had at the house.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: They were like white and then they had like a
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: really deep purple center. Yes. They're so pretty. I loved them. Oh,
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: they're delicate. I know. But has like a full presence. Yes. Delicate. Yeah, delicate.
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: But commands a room. 100%. Exactly. It's you. You are
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: an anemone flower.
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: Me?
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No. Yes. I am a sunflower. Wait, dark in
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: the center? Very intense. And why is the stem so thick?
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: And is it a weed or is it a flower?
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Depends on who you ask. Okay, can I ask you,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: cooking for you, does it actually do it for you
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: or does it depend on how good the meal is?
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Do you like when a guy cooks for you? I'm
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: good on that. I don't think I've ever had a
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: guy cook for me. Yeah.
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I've had a guy cook for me and it wasn't like....
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: It would be more masculine if he just ordered from
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: like Postmates.
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: Take me to fucking dinner, okay? I sit at my
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: house all the live long day. I'm not trying to
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: just come sit at yours. I agree. Now you're taking
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: me out of the house to go sit at your house?
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: Although I do love a nice little dinner party at
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: someone's house. I'm kind of vibing that too. It's so good.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Like once I get my house... situated that little outdoor
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: space you should have a dinner party.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah just like a really small intimate one with just
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: me you easton and lisa i.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Like it because you feel like you can get dressed
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: up and so like you're doing something but there's not
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: the pressure of like a crowded room yes you know
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: yes yes by the way does it i don't like
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: when a man holds my hand like this I like
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: to be finger-locked. Well, no. The finger lock, remember, I
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: told you, is now called waffling. Waffling. The kids are
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: calling this waffling. Okay. And this is pancake.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: And Riley was waffling with her boyfriend the other day.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And I got a picture.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: She looked so happy. She's so happy. It's crazy because
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: you look at the girls at that age and they
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: look like grown-ass children, right? Yeah. And then you see
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: the boys and you're like, Oh, they are babies. The
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: boys look so young. Yeah, they're so young. I know.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Because the girls are just like, they're getting boobs and butts.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: They're wearing makeup. Their hair color's changing. Their texture's changing. Yeah,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Riley's like obsessed with wearing makeup. I'm like, oh my God,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: you inspire me. She does it really well though too.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: The other day I was like, what foundation do you
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: have on? And then I remembered, I'm like, oh, it's
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: the 12-year-old skin. You could literally wear a tinted moisturizer
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: and it's going to be hitting right. I know. I know.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I like this one.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: How a man handles conflict or being told no. When
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: I say no and you listen, it's fucking hot.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Oh, I need you to put up a little bit
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: of a fight. How much do you care?
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: That's my toxic trait. Well, okay, you could say, like,
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: when I tell you, get the fuck out of my house,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: that is your cue to come closer to me and
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: love me.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: Okay? You should know that. You can't give the universe— Universe.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Mixed signals. I'm not giving the universe mixed signals. I'm
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: giving the person mixed signals. But you should just know that.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: If I'm like, unless you've cheated, get the fuck away
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: from me. See, how do they know between it's that,
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: get the fuck away from me, and get the fuck
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: out of my house? Common fucking sense, Amber. Oh. You're late.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I'm angry. I'm angry. Come closer. You put your dick
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: where it didn't belong, and I say get the fuck
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: out of my house, you come any closer, and you're
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: losing a limb. Okay? Get away from me. You're not
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: losing a limb. I move actually. I'm very abrupt in arguments.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: The moment that someone does me very, very dirty, I
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: start playing fucking chess. I'm not going to break your windshield,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: but I want to. I'm not going to slash your tires.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: I want to. I'm going to clean the G-Wagon spotless,
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: leave it parked with the keys inside, and the car
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: seat's going to be gone, and I now have a
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: new place to live, and you're going to be fucking blindsided.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: That did happen. Obviously. Yeah, because that was very specific.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: I will blindside you.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: When they do you dirty that bad, then yes, they
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: deserve to not know what's fucking coming.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: No. I'm going to baby you. You're going to think
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: all is fucking good, and then your life is going
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: to fall apart. Mm-hmm. You're going to be shocked by it.
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: How did this happen? Because I can outplay you any
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: day of the week. All right? You put a woman
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: in that situation, we get so calculated. Oh, 100%. 100%.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: And some people say, she's a scorned woman. No, bitch. No, bitch. Experienced. Experienced. Experienced.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: In conflict, can I tell you what I love? A
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: dude who doesn't, don't add fuel to the fire, but
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: also don't shut me out. Like I need you when
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: we're in turmoil because I get very reactive and heated.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: And again, this is where my Virgo and my Scorpio
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: kind of clash because I want to be like, I
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: want to be grounded, but I don't quite know how
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: in those moments. Yeah. Oh, I am the same way. Yeah.
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: And I think that that's actually very common. But I
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: do know women like Michelle. Michelle in conflict can shut
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: down and be like, I don't want to talk to
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: you and like remove herself. I am quite the opposite.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: It's like an art that I haven't quite conquered. I
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: need the person I'm with to find my spiral endearing.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: I know that that sounds crazy, but I need them
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: to be like, Oh, my baby's like in her feelings.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: He's out there. He is out there. I know that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: And he may be listening. Well, one can only hope.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Come in and save me. I'm looking to be saved.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: It's funny because while you're saying that, I was thinking about,
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: I get that way only when I've been patient for
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: way too long.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: And now my patients have run thin. And now I'm
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: going to fucking annihilate you. You get scary. Yeah, I
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: can get scary real quick. See, another thing you and
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: Michelle have in common, you got to really push her
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: to that point of like chaos, right? Whereas for me,
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: it's you're on thin ice at all times. Like one
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: wrong move and I'll explode, but nothing is under the carpet.
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: It's laying flat at all times. It's true. It's true. Oh,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: small gestures, opening the car door, carrying your bag, warming
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: up the car. Oh, I love a man that warms
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: up the car. My dad used to warm up my car.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: It was cold in Utah. That's very sweet.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: I'd go outside and it would be like, you'd open
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: the door and it would like be steamy outside because
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: it was so warm inside and so frigid outside. You
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: didn't have like a quick start on your car? This
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: is when you still put a key in the ignition. Oh, oh, oh.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I was driving a Ford Expedition to school.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, actually, no, I didn't have a quick start on
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: my truck.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: My sister did. There's no way. They didn't even have
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: quick starts when we were in high school. No, my
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: older sister did. Really? Yeah, I didn't. Wow. No, I
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: did not have that. By the way, though, the guy
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: that I went on a date with the other night,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: the one that we've spoken about, those are two wins
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: that I will give him. He opened my car door,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: and he pulled out my chair. yeah before he opened
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: up about a lot of stuff where I was like
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of opening that night which by the
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: way green flag honesty I'm not going to be blindsided
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: I know where to put you 100% you know like
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: you're certainly not my you're not my person like I
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: know where to place you I'm not going to you're
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: not going to put me in a washing machine yeah
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: don't shut him out yet he looked good I know.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I know. You showed the pics. He's a coyote. Stuffing
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: in at 6'3. Leaned out. Muscles. Great hairline. Ugh.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Ugh.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: Does he have a good job? Okay. I don't know.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: He's working on it. He's working on it. He's in between.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: He's finding himself. Yes. All right. Great. Well, better late
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: than never, huh? And that's how I feel about it. Okay.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: A man taking charge of a situation without being controlling.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I love this. Oh my gosh. How would that even be?
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you the last five years? I like
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Janet when we go on trips, she books the tickets.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: She does the whole bit. She's like the greatest, right?
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: But it would be so crazy to me if a
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: man was like, Hey, I want to go on a
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: trip with you. And he was like, He booked the
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: tickets and like handled everything. And I didn't have to
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: think about one single thing. That's hot. That is so hot.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: By the way, you turned me into putty in your hand.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Like when I feel taken care of like that, because
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: it's the little things that get me like panicked. Like
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: getting to an airport, that stresses me out. Checking in,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: doing that whole thing where if like a man like
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: grabs my bags and walks up and like checks us
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: in and I'm just sitting there like scrolling Instagram or
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: whatever and he's like, all right, we're going to go
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: here now. And I just like follow you like I'm
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: a little duck. Yeah.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: Hot you know you know it's funny because i noticed
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: myself lately wanting a man to do that or the
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: past year i would say but then when they go
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: to do it or grab my suitcase or do like
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: the masculine thing i'm like.
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: No no i got it i know i do the
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: same thing keep going.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Protecting myself i'm like amber He wants to take your bag.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: Fucking let him be a man and take it. But
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: my very quick instinct is like, no, I'm good.
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: I'm fine.
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, you can't. I can't do that.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Let me grab your golf bag. No, I got it. Right.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: It's like, no, let me grab it. I'm like, no,
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: I think that's kind of my way of also saying like,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: No matter what, I'm going to be fine. With or
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: without you, I know I could carry my golf bag
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: from the cart to the car. Or I could like,
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't need you to put my suitcase
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: in the back of my car. I've been doing it
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: for so long by myself.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: I'm good.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: But that's not what I want. So my actions and
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying are not, maybe I'm.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: The one that's confusing the universe too. I think that's
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: very easy to do. But if the universe is that dumb,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: then not my problem. The universe is God. God created it, right?
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: You should be able to read my mind. I am.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: God is within me. I am one with the master.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: But I'm the same way. I'll pack my bag. It'll
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: be so fucking heavy. I... you know, pull the little
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: thing up. I haul it down, you know, however many
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: stairs I have, walk it outside. The Uber driver comes
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, please be careful. It's so heavy. I
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: don't want you to hurt your back. I'm like, they're like,
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: we're fine. I'm like, why am I worried about this
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: fucking guy? I just hauled it down and this guy's
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: got to be way stronger than me. Like, I think
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: that I'm the Hulk and all these men are like
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: little prissies and they're not. I want to let men
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: be men. Okay. So how about like for a week straight? Yeah.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: We have to be, well, I'm on probation. I'm going
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: to wait until I'm on probation. And I don't have anybody, so.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: All right, well, that plan's not going to work. We'll
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: let Easton do a lot of shit this week. The
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: only consistent man in both of our lives. 100%. It's
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: so true. I fucking love Easton.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: He knocked on my window this morning when I was
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: waiting for you, and he was.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: Like, hi! You know when he does this, like, hi?
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: And he, like, gave me a hug through the car window.
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: I was like, He is the best. Yes, I was like,
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: that's so sweet. He is the best. The amount of
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: DMs I get about Easton, it's crazy. Oh, yeah. Like,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: DM him. Yeah. Like, your brother. How about your brother
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: DMs me? You DM my brother and have your brother
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: DM me. I'm worried about my own love life. I
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: can't worry about Easton's.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, something they used to find unattractive that now turns
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: you on.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Oh. Oh. Shoot. Do you have one? I just read
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: that for the first time and I really like that question.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: I like it too, but I can't think of anything. Actually,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I do have something. I used to think it was
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: like kind of a turnoff if like a man would
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: hold a woman's purse for her. Oh. That just shows...
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: Like my, I think it's just like a maturity level,
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: but I always was like, the woman should be carrying
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: her purse, you know? Like don't leave it with the
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: man to deal with. Yeah. Now, if I see a
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: woman who like needs to use the restroom and she
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: leaves her bag with the husband and he's holding it
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: and doesn't like put it on the ground. Yeah. That's
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: a great example, actually. Hot. That is so hot. Yeah.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: I love that. Like the other day at Ocean soccer practice,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: it wasn't my weekend, but I still went and she
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: needed to change. So I had our ex. I was like,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: hold my purse. And he like wouldn't take it. I'm like,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: hold my bag. Thank you. Thank you. And it had rained.
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: So it was like, the grass was like, what? I
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: didn't want my bag on the ground. I run to
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: change or I come back and the bag's on the ground.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no. Yes. Oh my gosh. Like, don't you
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: think I could have put my own bag on the ground?
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: If I wanted it on the ground, I would have
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: put it there. Okay. Yeah. Oh my gosh. It's not,
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: that's not. And I felt comfortable leaving it with him
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: because I left my wallet at home, by the way.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: I just thought of something. You took your wallet? If
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: I had a wallet in there, I ain't leaving it
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: with him. Are you crazy?
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: I used to think that a man going to the
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: grocery store was like demasculating and like unattractive.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: I think it's emasculating, right? Did I say demasculating? I mean,
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: it probably means the same thing. No, de is not of.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: So emasculating. So it's demasculating. Look it up. We've had
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: this exact conversation. I know for a fact. About this word?
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I know for a fact. Let's actually say both. Oh,
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: you can? You can say both? Amber, how wild. We
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: literally have had this exact conversation before. Deja vu. Keep going.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: I can't. I'm in the rabbit hole right now.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: No, when a man goes to a grocery store.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: That used to not be sexy.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: Then I'm like, oh, he's going to the market to
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: get all the food? That's like a man hunting and
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: gathering and coming back.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's not going hunting.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: He's going hunting at the grocery store. Yeah, it's the
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: modern-day hunter-gatherer. Yeah. Yeah, totally. There really is no modern-day hunter-gatherer.
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: Let's be real. It's pretty convenient. The grocery store? Maybe
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: that is what's wrong with men. Maybe they are not, like, really.
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: Feeling that confident Because they don't have to go spend
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: two weeks out trying to find a bear to bring
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: home to eat or, like, an elk or something like that.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine? No, I can't imagine. Just joking.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Like, and the woman's, like, at home wondering if her
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: husband was going to get eaten or die or freeze
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: to death.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Wow. You just blew my mind. Men don't have to
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: do that.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: They fucking get up, go sit on the toilet, shit, shower,
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: and shave, go to the office, have their fucking, you know, assistant.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: Bring him coffee. That's the problem. It is, but I
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: also— and it does start with the man and end with
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: the man, I think. But I think women have chopped
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: the balls off of men. We've had to. Exactly. It
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: is their fault. But we— like, women have become so hyper-independent that, like,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: how could a man possibly— Like, you can't outman a woman. Like,
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: we've got it on lock. Yeah. We know exactly what
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: we need to do, and we can get it done,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: and we multitask.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: And it's like, you know what? I'd rather just do
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: it by myself.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: So they get lazy. I don't want to, but I
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: literally sometimes have no choice. Mm-hmm. But that's why I think,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: like you were saying in the car earlier, like— We
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: do have to— you talking about the luggage, like, just allowing— when
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: you're off probation, allowing someone to do the things that
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: are very uncomfortable. Like, when— on the last couple dates that
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: I've been on, when the man— like, when the bill comes,
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: I go straight for my wallet to, like, pay for
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: both of us. Like, that's just in my— It feels
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: like it's in my genetic makeup now to just reach
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: for my wallet and pay for the meal. Yeah, you're
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: not even thinking about it. It's like getting in the
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: car and driving. You know how to do it, and
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: you just do it. Yeah, and then when they pay,
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: it's like... What do I like? Thank you. I like,
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: I feel awkward. Yeah. I'm like, it wasn't your responsibility
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: to feed me. It's like these little things that I
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: have to start changing because if that's how I am,
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: I'm going to attract the man who's like, Oh, my
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: sugar mama is taking me to steakhouse tonight. I'm like, no,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: you're taking me to the steakhouse tonight. I want to
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: go to Boulevard. Not you. Not you. Um, our listeners
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: wrote in. Oh, they did? Yeah. Oh, I love this.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: I love when you guys write in.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: It's like my favorite thing. It is. I love, I
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: call them my friends. A hundred percent. I feel like
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: we're all just in a big room talking to each other.
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: I can't wait for the day that we can go
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: on tour and we could actually meet everybody and just like,
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: I just want to like, Oh, have a weekend of
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: extravaganza of just talking shit and loving.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: On each other. Like little, like, um, Like speakeasies, little like,
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: what is it? City Winery has like a really cute space. Yeah,
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: we'll figure it out. Flex muscles. No, I don't like that.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: Why are you flexing your muscles for me right now?
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: When you flex your muscle, you have a deep insecurity
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: about who you are as a man.
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you, when you're changing my tire and
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: I see your muscles, I'm drooling. Well, yeah. Hot. Yes.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: If you're riding a horse and that fucking bicep is showing.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: Or like the forearm muscle, it gets all like shredded
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: through here. Oh my God. Or you're chopping wood. If
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: you're chopping wood and I see your muscles. Who have
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: you dated that chops wood? No one, but that's my fantasy.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you. Fucking chop wood with your shirt off.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: I'm not allowing you to date the men you've been
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: dating because the men you've been dating have no muscle tone.
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: They are not chopping wood. They don't know how to
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: change a horseshoe. And you deserve all of that. I know,
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: but he also needs to be like a city guy.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: The men you date get manicures. No. And by the way,
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: they go to like professional waxing places. Oh my God.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: In West Hollywood.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: No.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: I know. See what I mean? What I want in
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: my head versus what I like I'm attracting. It's very confusing.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: Looks wise, I'm attracting exactly what I want to attract.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: Everything else is a flop. I think I want to
• 40:38
  Speaker 2: look at that because let's be real. Instagram is not
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: what it is.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: I want to look at that.
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: But then nine times out of 10, there is no
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: emotional availability or awareness.
• 40:50
  Speaker 1: You're right. So what do I want? Do I want
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: a hot guy.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: And just have him be mute for the next 45 years?
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Or do I want someone that I can actually carry
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: a conversation with that maybe, like, is not— the gym is
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: not his, like, first priority.
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: But he's still healthy. Okay, that's a happy medium. But
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: he also can, like, get down with, like, Raising Cane's
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: with me. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. My mouth is watering.
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I love Raising Cane's. I do, too. Saves animals. That's
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: how I picked my husband. That is so cute. There's
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: a guy I've become obsessed with. For the mere fact
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: that his page is all about adopt, don't shop. You
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: know who I'm talking about, the football guy. He's so cute.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Be reliable. Love this. Yes, the best. It is so simple. Yeah.
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: Because someone that's reliable, that means they're consistent, they're transparent.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: But all of these things, you would think being reliable
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: is an easy thing because you're reliable, I'm reliable. It's
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: a selfless act. People, like, they have a really hard
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: time being reliable, especially in L.A. Everyone talks this big game,
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: and then you ask them to meet before 10 a.m.,
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: and it's like they hit you with the cancel.
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, La. It's not just in L.A.
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: I experienced this in Bozeman, Montana, 100%.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but Bozeman has become, like, the mountain version of L.A.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: That is also true. Like, everyone has moved there. Like,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: all the billionaires— I know. Are swooping in. Like it
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel, you needed to be in like a white
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: fish or whatever. Yeah. But even that guy, Cheater from Livingston,
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: that's a really small town. Yeah, it is. And he
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: was not a good guy. He was not a good guy.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: That very short seven week relationship with that guy.
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Like changed me.
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: And it's so weird that had more an effect on
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: me than the seven year relationship I had.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: What? Yes. I think that's a big statement. You have
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: been in a lot of relationships. I think I've only
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: been in three my whole life. Really? Yeah. Relationships. I
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: haven't been in relationships. I've dated people. No, you're in relationships.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Very short relationships. Yeah. But that still counts. This is
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: a part of your probation. This is why. And you're
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: trying to paint a pretty picture of like, oh, but
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: they were short. But you were still invested and committed
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: to one person, even if it was seven years or
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: eight weeks. That is a problem. That is not normal.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: It's not? No! To have a new boyfriend every, like,
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: seven weeks? That's crazy. It's crazy.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: I'm just in a relationship, and I'm not fucking other people.
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: I don't want to be sleeping with him, and he's
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: also sleeping with her, and then now I have to, like,
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: worry that your dick is dirty, and then you're swapping
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: spit with her, and then you see her.
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: Am I crazy? Doesn't that feel like a lot to
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: be in, like, a relationship, like, every, like, five to
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: eight weeks? It feels safe to me, actually. You need
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: to look into this because it's not normal. Okay. Well,
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: I'm looking. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. It's very unhealthy.
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: This is so interesting. Not saying that my weight is healthy.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying that at all. Like, I have my
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: own set of stuff. We're just on two separate ends
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: of the spectrum. But yours is very unhealthy. I got it.
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: And mine is very unhealthy. I'm not saying that, but
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: you got to look into that. A hundred percent, I will.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: I am looking into it because I hear it. It
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: just doesn't make sense. You're telling me that, like, two
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: plus two is five, not four.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: And I'm like— No, I'm telling you it's four. You're
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: saying it's five. Oh. Oh yeah. I'm saying it's five. Yes.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Two plus two is not five. But in my mind
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: it is. You're like two plus two equals a relationship.
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: Where the heck did that, where did I go wrong?
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: Like where in my life did that whole thing? By
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: the way, this is another episode.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Okay. Let's go back to what we're talking about. It's very,
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: you are not the only person. It's very common to
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: move how you move. Very. Really? Every single person I
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: know will get out of a full-on marriage and literally
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: three weeks later will have a new person. Someone they're dating?
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: Someone they're dating, yes. That won't work out. And two
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: weeks later, they're talking to someone new and they're exclusive.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: How you move is actually very normal and very unhealthy.
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Maybe I need a vacation at like, wait, what's that
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: place that everyone goes to? That like rehab place.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, White Lotus. No. No. Oh, it will come to me.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: There's a great place that everyone goes to. There's no
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: grieving process. I don't need to grieve, though, because I
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: have no feelings towards this person. No, that is untrue.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: You just said that that relationship that you were in
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: for seven weeks fucked you up more because of your relationship.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: Two weeks later, Amber, you already had a new guy
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: for eight weeks that you just broke up with, and
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: now you're on probation. I don't think I'm going to
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: win this argument. Yes, you are correct.
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: The reason why Livingston fucked me up was because it
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: was in real time. And I realized that there are
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: scars because of my marriage that I will never be
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: able to heal.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: Like they're there.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: They're just, it's like, they're just there. And so it's
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: how I manage them. I learned, yeah, my picker, I
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: don't know if my picker is still off, but it's
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: like not.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: Terribly off. It's much better than it was. I told
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: you this. You're looking at me like I'm crazy. No, no, no.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: I told you this in the car that you are
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: too incredible of a human and everyone enjoys you so
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: much that why would you not want to enjoy your
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: own self the way that we all do? Like, you're
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: so fucking fun. You're so hot. You're beautiful, amazing, a
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: good mom. Like, no one makes me laugh like you
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: make me laugh. Why would you not... sit there and
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: be like i'm just gonna enjoy myself for a moment
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: i'm gonna unpack because you're attracting a certain type of
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: guy and by the way my wounds and the way
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: that i'm moving and operating i'm attracting not good dudes
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: right like i said we both have our shit that
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: we need to work on you move quickly i close
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: off which both ways are not the right right we
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: should like We should have these conversations because if we
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: can take you and me and mix it together, we're
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: going to be in such a good spot and attract
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: the greatest of humans.
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: I hear you loud and clear. And I know that
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: that's what I'm doing. I'm sitting here in the discomfort.
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And by the way, you've never looked better. Your
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: eyes are clear. You don't look sad. When you were
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: with that guy, you would show up and there was
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: just like a heaviness. Like I could tell like something
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: was weighing on you. I still loved being around you,
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: but your eyes looked... Like you had a lot happening
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: in your mind.
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I see that in other people.
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: So I get that that's how you were perceiving me
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: or how I was showing up in the world.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So yeah. And I will always baby you through
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: those moments just like you babied me through my crazy
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: whacked shit. Yeah. Like I'm the girl who will move
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: you in. Three months in and I've met you a
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: handful of times. You know? You love bomb me via text.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Done.
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: Here I am. All of me. Take me. You know?
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I'm so closed off until I'm not.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I got to learn. I got a lot of fucking
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: work to do. Who doesn't? I know.
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Oh, reaches for your hand in public. I love that.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: I don't even know how that would feel.
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: That's funny. So I dated a guy and that was
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: my biggest issue with him.
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: He wouldn't do that?
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: He would not hold my hand. And I was like,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: that's really important to me.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: That's important to me too. That's foreplay.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: Holding my hand, grabbing my hand, and even like kissing
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: my hand.
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Oh. Yeah, I'm not asking you to like make out
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: with me in public. No, I don't want to make
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: out with you in public. No.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: Like I would rather you like playfully grab my ass
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: and pretend that no one's looking. But you know, everybody
• 49:15
  Speaker 2: just saw and I'm like, you know, beat red in
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: the face because that's so cute like grab my hand
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: you squeeze my tush and tell me like how amazing
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: it is right now.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah i love that like whisper in my ear something
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: really cute yeah yeah i love that yeah there's this
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: old couple that walks around my neighborhood every morning when
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: i get in the car to take ocean to school
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: and they're always holding hands And they're old. And it's
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: not to keep each other up. They're holding it because
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: they like each other. They're like legitimately in love. Puts
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: gas in your car. I love this. That's very sweet.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: I do love that. Remembers your coffee order. How would
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: that feel? Backs into a parking spot perfectly hot.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, that is hot. And is a good driver. I
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: can't stand guys that are aggressive drivers.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. That's a red flag. Can
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: I tell you? When they are aggressive drivers, I'm like,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: I have two children at home. And I would like
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: to make it back safely. If you want to drive
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: like a fucking bat out of hell when no one's
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: on the road, you want to flip your shit, go
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: for it. I don't give a fuck what you do
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: with your own life. But when I'm in your car
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: and there's other people who have loved ones in their car,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to need you to come correct. Yes. Blowing
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: through red lights. No, I can't. You're crazy. It's nice
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: to hear friends when you're not around. I love that. Yeah. Yes.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: A hundred percent. I hope that I find a dude
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: who feels like he can text my friends and be like,
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: I want to plan a surprise party for law. Yes.
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: And they like help him do it. Yes. You know,
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: I'm adding that to my list actually today. I have
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: a list at my negotiables, non-negotiables and what is it? Negotiables,
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: non-negotiables and.
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: My dream guy. Oh, I'm going to do that tonight.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: I did that. Or like if I'm out of town
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: or whatever the reasoning, like my group of friends are
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: going out with their guys, they're like, hey, so-and-so, do
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: you want to join us? And they like all go out,
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: even if I can't be there. Yeah. So cute.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I also love a guy, a non-negotiable for me really fast,
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: speaking of that, it's you don't have to get down
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: with every type of country music, but you have to
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: at least let me listen to some of it. Like,
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't need to listen to like You know, whatever.
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: But there are like, I think it says a lot
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: about a guy if they're like into country music.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to be kind of across
• 51:45
  Speaker 1: the board. Yeah. I need you to go from like
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: Jasmine Sullivan to like Taylor Swift to Tupac. Speaking of
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: Taylor Swift. Our song. Our song. Patient Zero. That is
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: our song. That's our song. She's created two songs now
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: where I'm like, this is for me and Amber. That's crazy.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: What's the first one? Vigilante shit. Oh. She's done three.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: What's the other one? Bad Blood. Yeah, but that wasn't
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: for us, was it?
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: No.
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about our love story. Oh, yeah. Vigilante and, yeah.
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: After this podcast, maybe we have fucking Bad Blood. No,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding. Did I offend you? No. Okay. No. I
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: will tell you. And feel free to come for me.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: I know that my shit does stink.
• 52:32
  Speaker 2: No, I don't need to because you know. You just
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: remind me.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: I do. I do remind you. But I need to
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: be reminded, so I love you.
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: No, I don't.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: Where's a backwards hat while doing yard work? I don't
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: fuck with the hat backwards. I like it forward. Yeah,
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: forward is hot.
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: Tips? Well, that's not important to me. Like he has
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: to tip, but he can't like over tip.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: Puts his hand on your back while walking through a
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: crowded room. Oh, I love that. Can I tell you
• 53:02
  Speaker 1: what I love so much? What? That one of my
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: exes used to do. We would be walking. Let's just
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: say like in a neighborhood and then you get to
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: a main road and he would switch places with me.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: So he was near the street and I was closest
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: to the buildings.
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I love when you do that. Like what you do
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: with your little kids. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're supposed to
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: do that with the kids? Well, yeah, I do. I'm kidding. Okay.
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: Isn't that cute? Yes, that's very cute. I love that.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Is respectful to his exes. I'm into that. I don't
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: need you guys to be friends, but if you come
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: to me and say we broke up because she's crazy,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you're crazy. Yes, exactly. You're the problem.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: But I didn't learn that until our situation. You know? Yeah.
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: Be protective without being possessive. I know. It's a fine line, right? Yeah.
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: It is a fine line. That's a really fine line.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: And you only understand that with experience in relationships and
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: as you get older. It's amazing. I think about my
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: parents and how they're still married after all these years.
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wow. So many, like, what, you said they
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: started dating at like 15? Yeah. Imagine how much evolving happens...
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: Just individually. Mm-hmm. And having to say, like, are we
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: choosing to evolve together? Yeah, and I keep choosing you. Yes.
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: You have to wake up and you have to fucking
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: choose that person. I know. Through it all. That's a
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: lot of work. Oh, but imagine how comfortable they are
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: with each other. Oh, I know. They're probably a little
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: too comfortable with each other. No, there's no such thing.
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: They do really have such an incredible relationship. I get
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: more and more vulnerable as I'm getting older and I
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: see them getting older and I'm like, You really, what
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: is so funny?
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about couples that get really comfortable with each
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: other and it's really sweet. And after you finish, I'm
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: just going to tell one story before we sign off. No, no, no, please.
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: I'm done. Go ahead. Are you sure? Yeah. Cause now
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: I don't even know what I was going to say. No,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: cause I'm picturing like how you get that comfortable, like
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: how your parents are, how my parents were. And there
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: was a night that we had a girl's night at
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: Brittany's and the food did not sit right with Janet.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: And she's in the bathroom. And I'm like, Janet, I'm
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: leaving you. She's like, no, don't leave. Like, I need
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: to go home. And you're my ride. And I cannot
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: shit my pants in an Uber. And I'm like, you
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: better not shit your pants in my car. Anyway, she finishes.
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: We get in the car. She tells me to drive fast.
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: She calls Jason on the phone. And she's like, hey,
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: can you unlock the door? My asshole is on fire.
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: And I've had chronic diarrhea for the past hour. So like,
• 55:39
  Speaker 1: I just need the door to be unlocked so I
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: can run in. And he was like, yeah, perfect. All right,
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: sounds good. I was like, aw. I want that. That's
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: very cute. To be able to tell the person who
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: you have sex with that like things are just a
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: little off right now and you help me out and
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: then still want to sleep with you after. Are you
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: ready to fuck? Yes. That was a really cute episode.
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: Thank you guys for listening to another episode of An
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: Unlikely Affair. We'll catch you guys next week. Bye.