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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: Stop Qualifying Your Struggle · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Emily Badi here you are listening to another
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: installment of Five Minute Friday and Hurdle. I had a
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: realization the other day and I have been mulling over
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: it ever since. I was out to drinks with a
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  Speaker 1: friend of mine, someone who is currently in the thick
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: of it, to say the least, with a young baby.
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  Speaker 1: And if you have been there, I'm sure that you
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  Speaker 1: know this vibe. The exhaustion is real. The stakes of
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: her daily life likely feel massive.
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  Speaker 2: She is in it.
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  Speaker 1: And as we were sitting there, I caught myself. I
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  Speaker 1: realized I wasn't really letting her ask about me, or
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  Speaker 1: when she did, I'd give a two sentence update and
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  Speaker 1: then immediately pivot back to her. My internal monologue was
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  Speaker 1: her life is so much bigger right now.
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  Speaker 2: My work stress, or.
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  Speaker 1: What I'm doing at the gym, or what's going on
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  Speaker 1: with my apartment lease situation, my personal drama. It's just
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  Speaker 1: not as important now. Admittedly, this is not the first
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: time that it's come up lately. In fact, it comes
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  Speaker 1: up constantly. Another friend actually called me out on this
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  Speaker 1: recently when I was telling her about something that I
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  Speaker 1: was going through that was really bothering me. A genuine
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  Speaker 1: hurdle that I was navigating. And I started the sentence
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  Speaker 1: with I know there are so many bigger problems in
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  Speaker 1: the world, but and she stopped me. She literally stopped me,
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  Speaker 1: and she said, why are you qualifying your struggle?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, little mic drop right there.
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  Speaker 1: She was like, why are you apologizing for having a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: hard time just because someone else might have it harder?
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  Speaker 1: And this is such an important question. It is a
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  Speaker 1: question that I have stopped myself from asking before. I
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  Speaker 1: have been living in the disclaimer trap for a while,
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  Speaker 1: and although there have been moments where I successfully pull
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  Speaker 1: myself out of it, I have a feeling a lot
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  Speaker 1: of you are living there too. We do this, or
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  Speaker 1: at least I do this because I think it's humble right.
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  Speaker 1: By acknowledging the I don't know, starving children, or violence
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  Speaker 1: that's going on in our country, or friend with a
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  Speaker 1: newborn or insert global crisis here, I am being perspective driven.
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  Speaker 1: But the truth is that comparative suffering helps no one.
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  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that one more time. Comparative suffering helps
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  Speaker 1: no When you disclaim your life, two things happen.
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  Speaker 2: First of all, you create a wall.
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  Speaker 1: So by deciding that your stuff isn't important enough to share.
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  Speaker 1: You're actually denying your friends a chance to be there
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  Speaker 1: for you. You're turning a friendship into a one way
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  Speaker 1: support system, and that is not a beneficial experience for
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  Speaker 1: either party. And then the second thing that happens is
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  Speaker 1: you're unintentionally gaslighting yourself. You're telling your own brain that
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  Speaker 1: your feelings aren't valid unless they hit a certain tragedy threshold.
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  Speaker 1: Empathy is not a finite resource, and that is what
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  Speaker 1: I'm reminding myself of this week. My friend having a
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  Speaker 1: baby doesn't mean that there's less room in the world
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  Speaker 1: for my career pivot or burnout from my workout situation
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  Speaker 1: or whatever I'm navigating. In fact, for that friend with
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  Speaker 1: the baby, well hearing about my life, which includes messy
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  Speaker 1: and quote unquote unimportant parts that might be exactly piece
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  Speaker 1: of normalcy that she's craving. So if you're a high achiever,
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  Speaker 1: if you're a fixer, if you're like me, a people person,
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  Speaker 1: you are probably a pro At the disclaimer you say
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  Speaker 1: it's a first world problem, but or I shouldn't complain
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  Speaker 1: because or this is so small compared to what you're doing.
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  Speaker 2: We need to stop slam's hand on desk.
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  Speaker 1: We need to stop because your heart doesn't have to
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  Speaker 1: be the hardest in.
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  Speaker 2: The room to be valid.
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  Speaker 1: Your herd does not have to be the hardest in
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  Speaker 1: the room to be valid. Your joy, just like mine,
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  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be the biggest to be worth celebrating.
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  Speaker 1: When we minimize our own experiences, we contribute to this
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  Speaker 1: narrative that we and our lives simply matter less.
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  Speaker 2: And that, ain't it.
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  Speaker 1: That's a hurdle that we have to stop putting in
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  Speaker 1: our own way. I am challenging myself to this this week,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm going to challenge you as well. This week,
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  Speaker 1: I am deleting the disclaimer. So maybe the next time
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  Speaker 1: that you're talking to a friend or even just journaling
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  Speaker 1: to yourself, catch the butt or the I know there
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  Speaker 1: are bigger problems, just delete the sentence, state your truth.
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  Speaker 1: I am struggling with this right now. I am really
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  Speaker 1: proud of this right now, period, full stop, No apology necessary.
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  Speaker 2: I matter, you matter, your stuff matters.
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  Speaker 1: And the people who love you, they want the whole
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  Speaker 1: version of you, not the edited or the diminished one.
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  Speaker 1: It's a constant work in progress.
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  Speaker 2: I get it.
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  Speaker 1: Like I said, there are moments in my existence that
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  Speaker 1: I am good at exercising everything I am preaching here,
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  Speaker 1: and there are moments where it just doesn't feel important.
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  Speaker 2: It's important.
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  Speaker 1: You're important, your feelings matter, your problems matter, and no
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  Speaker 1: disclaimer necessary.
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  Speaker 2: And now a listener question.
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  Speaker 1: Hey, Emily, my name is Anna, and I just want
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to talk about the sauna. I see that it's something
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  Speaker 1: that you do regularly, and I'm wondering why, what does
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  Speaker 1: it do for you? Should I be doing it? Can
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  Speaker 1: I do it if I'm not also cold plunging. Just
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  Speaker 1: give me the lowdown. Thanks so much, appreciate you, Anna,
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  Speaker 1: This is a good question. I love the sauna. I
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  Speaker 1: am currently trying to go in for around twenty minutes
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  Speaker 1: four times a week, and you can garner the benefits
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  Speaker 1: from going in a sauna less than that. That's just
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  Speaker 1: my current protocol. So let's talk a little bit about
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  Speaker 1: what's going on in the sauna. When you sit in
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  Speaker 1: a sauna or your body is basically going under thermal stress.
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  Speaker 1: And what happens during that is that, in order to
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  Speaker 1: cool you down in this room, your body, well your
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  Speaker 1: heart specifically is pumping blood to the surface of the
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  Speaker 1: skin so you can sweat. That process is strengthening your
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  Speaker 1: heart muscle. What's happening there is that you are improving
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  Speaker 1: vascular compliance, which is how flexible yarteries are, and that
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  Speaker 1: is why sauna users have been scientifically shown to have
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  Speaker 1: significantly lower risks of cardiovascular disease. Now, in this process,
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  Speaker 1: your heart rates also getting higher. Often I could reach
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  Speaker 1: a heart rate between one ten and one twenty in
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  Speaker 1: the sauna. But with that said, this does not replace cardio.
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  Speaker 1: If you were to swap out like your morning walk
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  Speaker 1: or run or whatever you might do to get your
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  Speaker 1: heart rate up for a sauna session, you're missing out
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  Speaker 1: on a few things.
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  Speaker 2: One muscular adaptation.
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  Speaker 1: Cardio requires muscle fibers to contract, and in the sauna
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  Speaker 1: your muscles are relaxed. You're also not doing anything when
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  Speaker 1: it comes to loading, so you're not doing anything to
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  Speaker 1: improve your bone.
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  Speaker 2: Density in the sauna.
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  Speaker 1: And then lastly, when we work out, exercise creates lactate,
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  Speaker 1: which is a metabolic byproduct that the body then learns
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  Speaker 1: to clear the mole stress you're experiencing in the sauna,
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't produce the same metabolic let's call it garbage
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  Speaker 1: that physical movement does, so you're not training those specific
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  Speaker 1: metabolic pathways.
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  Speaker 2: What does happen in the sauna and why I love it?
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  Speaker 1: Firstly, we can talk about the mental calming that this
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  Speaker 1: experience provides for me. It's one of the few places
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  Speaker 1: I don't bring my phone. Although I love, love, love
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  Speaker 1: to listen to a podcast or music, in the sauna,
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  Speaker 1: I don't bring my phone inside. I'm like other people
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  Speaker 1: and I'm like, is your phone not overheating? That's what
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  Speaker 1: would happen to mine in here.
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  Speaker 2: I digress.
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  Speaker 1: I love it for the mental like just time for
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  Speaker 1: myself and myself only.
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  Speaker 2: That is idyllic. But also what's happening in the sauna
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  Speaker 2: is that with that.
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  Speaker 1: Increased blood flow, you are bringing fresh oxygen and nutrients
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  Speaker 1: directly to the muscles. I've talked about this on the
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  Speaker 1: show before, but basically, when you work out, you're creating
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  Speaker 1: micro tears and the muscles that naturally repair themselves over
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  Speaker 1: the course of about forty eight hours. It's nothing to
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  Speaker 1: be worried about. But in the sauna, you're bringing all
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  Speaker 1: of this goodness to the muscles, so you're essentially like
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  Speaker 1: creating a super highway for recovery. This is good, This
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  Speaker 1: is a big reason likely why we've seen that regular
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  Speaker 1: sauna use has been shown to significantly decrease delayed onset
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  Speaker 1: muscle soreness.
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  Speaker 2: We are busy, busy people.
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  Speaker 1: We've got a lot to do, and so I am saying,
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  Speaker 1: why not give yourself a leg up to feel better
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  Speaker 1: in your body to recover? Well. Oh, and I want
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  Speaker 1: to make sure that I answer this last part of
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  Speaker 1: your question. Should I even bother with the sauna if
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  Speaker 1: I'm not doing a cold plunge? Absolutely, I do not
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  Speaker 1: cold plunge regularly whatsoever.
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  Speaker 2: But I do sauna regularly.
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  Speaker 1: Something to know about a cold plunge is a cold
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  Speaker 1: plunge typically blunts muscle growth. So if you're hopping into
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  Speaker 1: a cold tub immediately after doing a strength workout, well,
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  Speaker 1: the rule of thumb is don't do it. The rule
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  Speaker 1: of thumb is that you should wait at least four
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  Speaker 1: to six hours after your workout before.
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  Speaker 2: You're doing a cold plunge.
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  Speaker 1: If your goal is building muscle or strength, yeah, because
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  Speaker 1: basically what happens is that strength training creates good inflammation,
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  Speaker 1: those micro tears I talked about that tells your muscles
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  Speaker 1: to grow, and the cold plunge turns off that signal.
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  Speaker 1: What you can do with the sauna is that you
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  Speaker 1: can sauna right after you lift, because that doesn't blunt
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  Speaker 1: this growth signal that I'm talking about. It enhances the
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  Speaker 1: repair because of all the things that I've spoken on.
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  Speaker 1: So those are some things that you should know about
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  Speaker 1: doing the two of them together. There are so many
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  Speaker 1: different protocols and everything about combining the two that I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to get into right now, but I hope
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  Speaker 1: that this information is helpful for you. Again, just so
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  Speaker 1: you know, to reiterate my qualifications for disseminating this information,
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  Speaker 1: I am a certified personal trainer as well as a
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  Speaker 1: certified run code which although if you are interested in
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: exercising any of these modalities, I would recommend that you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: always consult one on one with an expert in your network.
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  Speaker 1: Always good to get that personalized advice. What an episode
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  Speaker 1: today A breadth of topics to say the least. Oh man,
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate you guys. I'm over at Emily Body and
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: at Hurdle Podcast. Another Hurdle Conquered