Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / How to be the Master of Your Mayhem | a conversation with Kristi Clover

Transcript

How to be the Master of Your Mayhem | a conversation with Kristi Clover · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:05
SPEAKER_00: My name is Amy Wicks, and I love to talk about the gospel message your heart was created to hear.
0:11
SPEAKER_00: All things Enneagram and helping you be confident that you are the best mom for your kids.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm a mountain mama who somehow ended up on a cul-de-sac in the Midwest.
0:22
SPEAKER_00: I was alone and without family or community.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: But the Lord, he didn't let me stay there.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: He helped me turn my broken-hearted moment into a wholehearted decision to get intentional with my faith, my marriage, and my kids.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: I share broken-hearted perspective with story, but with wholehearted purpose and plans so you can live a life full of confidence and abundance.
0:46
SPEAKER_00: Think of this podcast as your on-the-go mom pal, mixed with a little bit of Enneagram coaching.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: So get to that pile of laundry or hit the treadmill or load up the kids in the car for that grocery run.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: And be ready to be encouraged and challenged while you listen.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: This is the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: So, how does a busy mom like you stay on top of the daily chaos that children, schooling, working, and quarantining bring?
1:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, we all need help creating organization that works for us with the stuff that is uniquely ours.
1:25
SPEAKER_00: Christy Clover has a simple approach to help moms like us prioritize and break down big jobs, declutter, and teach our kids age-appropriate chores.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know by now that Christy and I are already sounding like kindred spirits, and you would be right.
1:42
SPEAKER_00: Christy's book, Mom, Master Organizer of Mayhem, Simple Solutions to Organize Chaos and Bring More Joy into Your Home, is not only colorful, but it's a chock full of ideas which I know will create the simplicity that you are longing for.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: This conversation is fun.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: It's fast and full of encouraging information to get you going on the list that you've been staring at these last couple of months of quarantine because you aren't sure where to begin.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: Now, while these last months have seemed longer than normal, I am also startled to already be looking at May on my calendar.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: It has me thinking about summer, all the things that I want to do, and all the things that I need to be ready for.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: With these last few months of school done at home, do you need your summer to look different than your school year?
2:32
SPEAKER_00: I know I do.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Is your entertainment camps and playmates going to be limited these summer months?
2:38
SPEAKER_00: Are you dreading the no-schedule long days, sibling fighting boredom, constantly eating in crazy messy house all summer long?
2:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, you need my Simply Summer plan to put into action for the unplugged and personal connection that you desire with your kids.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: The Simply Summer video guide series walks you through the five-step planning process I've personally used for these last 11 years.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: I promise I've used them and it works.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: I help you break down the next three months so you can help your kids form lifelong habits while getting more done for you.
3:11
SPEAKER_00: I've created and shared all the colorful and easy to use templates that are ready to print or customize for your needs.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: In short, this Simply Summer Self-Ace video series guides you through determining what your kids want to do, what you want your kids to do, and what they need to do.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: And then you create a system of rewards that connect your family in meaningful ways.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: So instead of counting down the minutes until next school year, you can make the minutes count with your kids this summer.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: You can check out the show notes for more information, or go to simply wholehearted.com and you'll see all the information there on the homepage.
3:48
SPEAKER_00: Now let's jump right into this conversation with Christy Clover.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: Totally.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, a little bit about me.
4:03
SPEAKER_01: Well, I am a mom of five, and we do homeschool our kids, all five of them.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: You're amazing.
4:10
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and my husband, Steve, and I have been married for 22 years, and so fun.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: I know it's so funny because I still have these flashbacks when we were first married and we were in this newlywed class at church, and it was so funny because remember we met a couple who'd been married for two years, and we're like, wow, like wow.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm impressed.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Now we're like 22 years.
4:32
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, wow.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And you homeschool them and you're doing all of this.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: So for you, okay, because you know, it's Mother's Day coming up here, and this whole month we're just celebrating mom's motherhood.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: It's the hardest thing we've ever done, but the most wonderful.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: So for you, and you've had this, you know, you've had lots of years to think about this.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: What was the most startling thing?
5:00
SPEAKER_00: Like you're like, oh, wait a minute, no one could have prepared me about this when it comes to motherhood.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, if I mean to go suit to like dive deep, I would say, like, you know, there's all kinds of those little things.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: Like, you don't realize how wonderful and just how deeply you can love.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's all those things.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: I remember bringing our oldest home from the hospital and thinking to myself, I had no idea all the little noises they make were gonna be so cute.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: But I would say the most shocking thing to me Oh, right, right.
5:30
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: But no, like I remember like they'd sneeze or hiccup and you're like, so cute.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: Like Right.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: And you could hear them breeze away in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep, you know.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: Right.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know.
5:44
SPEAKER_01: But no, one of the hardest things I would say was just that I don't think I realized the need to let go.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: I mean, because we all have those expectations for our kids.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: But I remember when my kids were taking their own direction because they're their own creations, like, right?
6:00
SPEAKER_01: God created them for a special purpose that is not part of my expectations sometimes.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: And I remember just feeling like, wow, not only do I need to let go of my expectations, but sometimes there's hurt feelings that were underlying there.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: So your kids will say things that they don't understand that they're hurtful.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: And so that was a big realization for me the day that I realized I had to let go of record of wrong with them, and I had to forgive them because it was affecting our relationship.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: I had this underlying bitterness because I was upset about something, and that was so shocking to me because I'm like, but I love my children so much and I would give my life for them and all this.
6:38
SPEAKER_01: But it was just like I had no idea that I had stuffed these emotions and these feelings away.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: And so it was really powerful to me when I realized I had to give myself permission to forgive my kids because I thought, well, you don't have to forgive because you love them unconditionally, and I do.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: But it was like it would so I was gonna say that.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: I mean, to go super crazy deep, that that was like this weird realization for me, and that wow, like I can be head over heels in love with someone and yet still realize that I need to make sure that I'm keeping our relationship like to use the term like clean, you know, getting rid of the junk and the bitterness that can store up.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to keep the list short and everything.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, that's fascinating because I'm sitting here as an Enneagram coach and I'm thinking, all right, what do you know what type you lead with by chance?
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Because to me, that might be kind of a telltale sign, and I'm kind of curious to know.
7:33
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a good question.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: Well, my um my team, Team Clover, because I do a lot of things online and um, you know, I'm an author and everything.
7:40
SPEAKER_01: So I laugh because um one of my someone on my team that was just like, will you please take a test?
7:44
SPEAKER_01: So I took a quick little online test.
7:46
SPEAKER_01: So I'm not quite sure, but I think I'm an eight.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: And everybody seems like I was an eight, everybody that knows Indegrams, they're like, oh yeah, I can totally see that.
7:53
SPEAKER_01: But I'm like, I don't know.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're gonna go with that.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Okay, we could go with that.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: And then also, if I may, if I may be so bold, you you described or I'm seven.
8:03
SPEAKER_00: See, look at me, I just forgot.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: I think I'm a seven.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay, either seven or an eight.
8:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't remember which one, whichever one is like the positive, happy one.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, so the seven.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: The seven makes a lot more sense.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: So there we go.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then so because what you described to is so as uh we have these lines of stress and growth, right?
8:19
SPEAKER_00: And I always think when we're pregnant, BMSing and postpartum, our lines of stress really show up.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: And for a type seven, that's a one, and a one can struggle with the resentment piece of it and keeping the list short, and also like forgetting, and I I think a seven as well, because sevens are positive and we tend to move past things quickly.
8:49
SPEAKER_00: So we're okay.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: So I am a seven.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so yeah, but when we're stressed out or things can catch us by surprise when we're not moving past them, and we have these little people who they're not just little people, they're relationships.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: And it's an ebb and flow, and there's a dynamic, and there's working things out, and there's making peace and reconciliation and and all of that sort of stuff.
9:12
SPEAKER_00: So I just I I thought that was really interesting.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: So I think you're probably right.
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Um, you also said something before we were recording necessarily, was that you had all these ideas and you know, doing all the things.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: I want to do it all.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know my poor assistants out here.
9:30
SPEAKER_01: I'd share with you my poor assistant's out here, and um, she's just like, okay, let's talk about this.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay, so I can say like maybe a minute or two of that, and then I'm like, over here.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, okay, no, but let's come back over here.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, all right, all right, I'm trying to come back, and I'm like, but can we talk about over here?
9:44
SPEAKER_01: She's like, no, we're gonna talk right here.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, I'm trying, I'm really trying.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: But I have so many things in my head that I need to get out right now.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: I the brain dump philosophy has been the best thing in the world for me because partly is that I'm afraid I'm gonna lose it, right?
9:59
SPEAKER_00: Because we think, I mean, how many thoughts and how many ideation is a gifting?
10:04
SPEAKER_00: It's also a curse.
10:05
SPEAKER_00: But uh the whole brain dump has been helpful, and I've learned, oh, yeah, not only do I brain dump, but I can go back to it.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: And someone who's not past-oriented, I have to tell myself, oh, I can go back and I can remember, and then by then I'll know if it's actually something good because I will have thought of it again, or something else will have panned out that goes, yeah, you should pursue that, or you just need to wait.
10:29
SPEAKER_01: That's enough.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and what I've oh yeah, and what I found is that what's been really interesting for me is because I mean my whole niche is home organization.
10:37
SPEAKER_01: That's why I wrote, um, well, yeah, so I should probably I didn't even mention that.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: So I have a book that's called MOM about it.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so my book is called MOM, Master Organizer of Mayhem.
10:47
SPEAKER_01: And what's so funny is that when I started doing brain dumping, I was like, how do I organize this?
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Like, because it just the creative side of me and like the hyper perfectionist, you know, organizational analytical side, like they compete.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: And so when I brain dump, it's only relax, it helps me, but not if I feel like after I do too many brain dumps, I realize, oh my goodness, like where is that?
11:12
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do I do with that?
11:13
SPEAKER_01: So I had to actually come up with systems on where where I brain dumped and how I did that.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Because what I found is I had to take, like sometimes I'll just do it like, okay, here it is, blah, like it's out.
11:25
SPEAKER_01: But then I had to make sure I made a note of that somewhere so that I can either find it, because then it would just stress me out.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: Because then I'm like, shoot, where in the world did I write that?
11:34
SPEAKER_00: I know.
11:35
SPEAKER_00: I know there was recently.
11:37
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and there was recently something I did that, and I and it was so funny.
11:41
SPEAKER_00: I've heard of the bullet journal journaling thing forever, but finally someone showed me what that was.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: And that is what has really helped me.
11:49
SPEAKER_00: And I made my classic mistake, and there is just this really it was just small and critical, and I put it on post-it notes instead of the bullet journal because the bullet journal philosophy is you can fill out any page, but then you create the index after you fill it.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: Index is the key.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you've got to have an index.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: I didn't follow my new rule, and now I can't find those sticky notes, and I know it's really good.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so for me, it's sticky notes, and then I hear I'll even I have them right here.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: I have index cards.
12:18
SPEAKER_01: I have all different size index cards.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: Me too.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: My favorite is the big ones.
12:22
SPEAKER_01: I've got five by seven index cards because it just needs to be big enough for me to truly get out everything I need to get done for the day.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: But then I end up with all of these, like, well, this is what I need to get done today, and then yesterday, and then where's that one?
12:34
SPEAKER_01: And oh wait, I forgot to move this over here.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: And I have like this stack of index cards.
12:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Oh, I love it.
12:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, you have figured out something though, and that's um one of the main reasons we are having you on is to share about your book, which one the cover of it is so fun.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: It's every color of a Lego, and it's in a rainbow.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: It's it's just super, it's just everything a mom can resonate with Legos and lots of Legos.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: I know it's so funny.
13:01
SPEAKER_00: It is so one of the the superpowers for a seven, or really the strength and the growth, is to be able to adapt to the high side of the one, but also the high side of the five.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: Like that's really when they're in their zone.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: And it seems like to me that you have done a lot of work and gotten to some of that understanding systems and organization.
13:22
SPEAKER_00: So, someone like me who needs to grow in that area, looks at your book and I'm like, she can tell me what I need to do.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: So, like, paint the picture.
13:33
SPEAKER_00: Give us as best as you can verbally, uh, what this book can help us with and what you've provided as a resource.
13:41
SPEAKER_00: It's amazing.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: It's so good.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you are so awesome.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Well, I really wrote the book because I had such a heart for trying to figure out how to simplify our life.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: Because I found that, and so, like, you know, the subtitle is Simple Solutions to Organize Chaos and Bring More Joy into Your Home.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: And that's really the motto I have for everything, like simple solutions.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: So I'm always looking for simple, more efficient ways to do things.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: And so what I found with with the book is that I really wanted to help people take a look at not just like what's the status of your toy bin?
14:12
SPEAKER_01: You know, like I could care less.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: Like, I really don't.
14:14
SPEAKER_01: If your toys are in a bin, amen.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: Great, you've done your job.
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's where I found that when you talk about home organization, so often people associate that with perfection.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: And I want women and men and families, people to get that out of their head.
14:28
SPEAKER_01: There is nothing, you can actually look up the word organization and it does not say perfection.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: We have gotten into this mindset with you know social media and Pinterest and you know, TV shows that you know, organization means perfect.
14:41
SPEAKER_01: Like all of your containers need to match.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: Everything needs to be set in and just you know, just right.
14:46
SPEAKER_01: Hold it perfect.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: Goodness, you're you're great, you know, your drawers need to have everything stacked just right.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, honestly, if it's in a drawer, let it be.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: And so what I really try to do with this book is to help people A, give themselves a ton of grace, because you've got to figure out, you know, systems in order to get on top of things.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: So give yourself grace for wherever you're at.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: But then it's all about trying to learn how to be more efficient.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: So efficiency is my goal, helping people to simplify both what's in their schedules, so simplify your life, but also simplify in your home so that you can actually have that time.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: And the key is not to fill it up with other things, but to, you know, to be more efficient so you have more time for the people in your life to connect and then the priorities you yeah, and then the priorities that you that you want to get done.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: So that's really the heart of the book is helping people to just to think through how to be more efficient in their day-to-day.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: And so there's just like chapter after chapter of just me sharing all of my crazy hacks.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: And that's the thing is I had to learn to break rules because when I first started kind of, I guess you could say homemaking, when we first got married, I, you know, everything that was out there was pretty much like Martha Stewart or, you know, just these people who or um Emily Barnes, and they were very good at being perfect, and very good at having like set things to, you know, like they followed a schedule, they did this, and I my brain did not work in that.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: And so that's what I had to figure out was can I be creative and still be organized?
16:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:17
SPEAKER_01: Um, so that's really where it all kind of came together.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, well, because even so for uh a type seven struggles with limitations and tend to want to push past those boundaries, and so that's where someone who maybe naturally leads as a type one is really good at uh perfection in their organization, but for a type seven, that feels really limiting because then what about spontaneity when it comes to your schedule?
16:46
SPEAKER_00: What about, you know, like you said, uh I don't have time to put all the legos perfectly back in.
16:51
SPEAKER_00: I just want it in a bin.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: So I I, you know, like each type is gonna have a unique struggle when it comes to getting the simplicity in the organization.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: So for you, having five kids, homeschooling, doing what you're doing, did you have a moment that propelled you into being able to do this in it in a better way?
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Or did you just naturally somehow know all of these things?
17:18
SPEAKER_00: No.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: A few.
17:20
SPEAKER_01: I was born and came out, I came out of the womb and you know, I was like holding my own diapers.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: No, I struggled.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: In fact, my mom, I will never forget um when my friends came to visit me in college because I was a girl who in high school had one clean spot in my bedroom.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: Everything else is on the floor, but I knew I needed one spot to be able to jump from the door to there to the bed.
17:44
SPEAKER_01: Like I couldn't make it from the door to my bed.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: So I needed one spot that I could step and not you know, crunch.
17:49
SPEAKER_01: Crunch everything.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: But then something crazy happened is that when I went to college, I was living, you know, I had a roommate in my little dorm room, and I suddenly realized I can't live in chaos.
18:02
SPEAKER_01: I can't expect them to.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: So I started getting organized, and it was bizarre.
18:07
SPEAKER_01: Like I never realized I had this passion for, don't laugh, but for like I call myself the queen of Tetris.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Like when it comes to organization, like I visually can see how things fit together.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: Fit together.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: So that's where I am naturally good.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm good at spatial organization, but it doesn't mean I'm not messy.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: But what um what I was really good at is like organizing my drawers.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: So like when my friends came over from college, they just would stand at the door and they're like, This is not your room.
18:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, no, it is, come look at my drawer.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: Come look at my drawer.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: Like it was so exciting to me.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: And so, like, and now that's something that I had to learn to let go of.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: Like, I do have drawers that it's like, please let's keep this one drawer organized.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: And actually, I mean, for the most part, my drawers are like really truly, my drawers are pretty organized.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: But what I mean, as far as like dish towels, if I'm having my kids help me fold the dish towel, I could care less if the corners match.
18:57
SPEAKER_01: Like it's more important that they did it and feel good about it.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: The drawer is closed.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
19:02
SPEAKER_01: So um, so as far as naturally organized, I have had to learn everything.
19:07
SPEAKER_01: Like I can spatially make things fit.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Like I if you need to pack something in a car, I am your girl.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Like I will get it fit.
19:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: But if you just, you know, I mean, well, I mean, I can it's so easy for me to help other people because I'm like, I am not attached to your stuff and I can help you.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: Totally different.
19:23
SPEAKER_01: It's a different game altogether.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: But no, but I I struggle with messiness.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: I would rather just chill and not have to do anything.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: So I have to find ways to motivate myself.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: And um fascinating.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm so yeah, so it is really interesting because it's like I I have natural tendencies, but I'm also very naturally not prone to organize organization.
19:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, what what birthed this book idea?
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Because I think it is unique in the sense where you have you have this naturally spontaneous, the natural spontaneity of your personality, and yet you've tapped into growth and systems and organization, and you've you've put those two together.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: So I think it's a little different than what else I have seen out there in the market.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it's very unique because again, like I don't come from it like, you know, like Marie Kondo is a great example.
20:12
SPEAKER_01: Like she was organized, she's always been organized, like she's never been unorganized in her life.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: She wrote her book, yeah, and she wrote her book before she ever even like was married or had children.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, totally different.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: And so even though like I learned that I was spatially, I was good at spatial organization in college, like that didn't mean anything.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: I was still mess and I still lived in mess and I could handle and tolerate mess much more than my husband could.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: And so the real moment for us was when we moved to San Diego.
20:40
SPEAKER_01: We had been transferred, we had a brand new baby, and uh my boys are 17 months apart.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: So I had two babies.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and my husband's 14 months apart.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, right.
20:50
SPEAKER_01: You're like, wait a minute, I can't be pregnant, I have a baby.
20:53
SPEAKER_01: Like, that was my exact words.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm looking at my baby and going, like, but no, that's that doesn't, that's not how it works.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: But actually, yes.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: But it does.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, so we had we were transferred, so we new house, new community, and we literally moved into a new house.
21:09
SPEAKER_01: It was like new construction, and like you everything when people say everything that could have gone wrong went wrong, it really did.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: It was just one chaotic thing after another.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: We had so many construction issues.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: We constantly had contractors and construction people in our house, or they weren't in our house when they needed to be there.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: My husband was gone all the time.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: So we had marriage stress, you know, I had had to have an emergency, not emergency, but I had an unexpected surgery um postpartum.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: And then my husband had emergency.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we we got stomach, I mean, you name it, it was going on.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: Like we had family issues, we had everything happening, and it was such a stressful time.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: And I remember just kind of like crying on the floor one day and realizing that I can't control all the things that are happening in my life, but I can take you know responsibility and I can find things.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: That I can control.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: So I can start controlling how we are how I'm running my family.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: So I can start trying to control those things.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: So I started realizing that organization had to move up on my priority list.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: And it really wasn't on my radar, but I realized that was what I needed in that moment to actually start thriving.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: Like I literally needed to get organized in order to survive.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: And so I just kind of started learning.
22:24
SPEAKER_01: I just became a student of organization.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: I would ask friends, ask family when I had problem areas.
22:31
SPEAKER_01: And so, like again, like I think that's one of the cool things is I've always been that person that can read a book, dissect it, and then be able to spit out the like the simple basics.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: And then I I my mind works in a way that I can also figure out the a better way of doing something.
22:45
SPEAKER_01: So if you give me a recipe, I'm gonna figure out the most efficient way to get it done.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm reverse engineer it.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: Right.
22:51
SPEAKER_01: And so it's just I'm just weird like that.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: And so that's what I started doing as I was, you know, bringing in all this information.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: And so this one day, when um, you know, after we'd been in our house and you know, we've been meeting people, it was like probably three or four years later, um, I had somebody ask if I would speak at our mom's group.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: We had a really large mom's group at our church, and I was like, Oh, sure, I'd love to.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, what do you want me to speak on?
23:15
SPEAKER_01: And she goes, Will you talk about home organization?
23:18
SPEAKER_01: And I laughed.
23:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, it was one of those moments where if I had been drinking something, I would have spit it all over her.
23:23
SPEAKER_01: But um, oh my goodness, it was just so funny.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, why are why would you want me to talk about that?
23:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you've been to my house.
23:29
SPEAKER_01: And she goes, No, exactly.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: She's like, we will have a play date and like all the toys will be out and kids are everything's everywhere.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: And she goes, but then you'll host a party the next day and your house is all put together.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: She goes, I don't get that.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I will I just have these systems.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: And she's like, exactly.
23:44
SPEAKER_01: Share with us what you do.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: And so, and people are always in awe that like I have all these kids and my husband travels, and so like, wow, how do you do that?
23:51
SPEAKER_01: And so that's what it was really powerful.
23:53
SPEAKER_01: So I sat down to think through what are the key things that help me to be organized and to be efficient.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: And I came up with this list.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: This is 13 years ago.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: I came up with this list of 10 things that I do, and if I'm doing all of them, like I don't do all of them, I struggle with all of them, but these are the 10 things that help me to be the most organized.
24:13
SPEAKER_01: And that is what birth, and that was the name of the talk that I gave was M O M Master Organizer of Mayhem.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: And those 10 rules are still the same.
24:21
SPEAKER_01: The order has changed, but um the 10 rules still stand.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: And so it's just that's amazing.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: That was exciting to me when I started the book writing process.
24:29
SPEAKER_01: It was like, oh my word, this still applies, this still works.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: And so you know, I get myself a little pat on the back and I'm like, thank you, Jesus.
24:36
SPEAKER_01: Because like he it really was neat to see that that somehow, even as I was learning all these skills, it's like God really helped me to see what was truly important and what came together.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: So it was really cool.
24:49
SPEAKER_00: That's cool.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so now I'm totally curious.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: This idea falls from heaven, literally, and you are able to give it to the women that you're interacting with on a regular basis.
25:01
SPEAKER_00: But here you are all these years later, finally with the book.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: What finally, you know, what leads you to start because writing a book anymore is not just writing a book.
25:12
SPEAKER_00: You have a podcast, you have a blog, you have this, you have that.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: There's a whole process for those who are not aware of it.
25:19
SPEAKER_00: And you're homeschooling five kids.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: So what propels you side note?
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just that's it, you know.
25:26
SPEAKER_00: Um, what propelled you to share it in this way, finally, in a book?
25:30
SPEAKER_00: Because it does make sense that it needed to be a book, but I'm that's not why you went after the message.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: You went after it to share and help others.
25:38
SPEAKER_01: Well, when I first gave that talk 13 years ago, again, I only had two kids at that point.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: And what I found is that women were coming up and bawling, and like I didn't know, like, thank you for giving me permission, like to have grace for myself and to not feel like I have to be perfect, and I didn't know it can you could do things like that.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: And so that was so powerful.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: So it really started this desire to help women more, and so I started speaking more.
26:01
SPEAKER_01: And then what was crazy is like years later, I would have women coming up going, Hey, I still meal plan the way you taught me to meal plan.
26:06
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: And it's totally revolutionized our house and our family.
26:09
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, wow.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: And so that was always at the back of my mind.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: But then we started having more kids, and so I was like, I just kind of stepped back from some of those ideas because I really did have a dream of turning it into a book.
26:19
SPEAKER_01: And then when our fifth baby was born, um like you have a fifth child, and somehow that's when the Lord says, Okay.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: Um, so it was just this weird thing where Steve was traveling, I had all the kids, and they were still everybody was young enough that they had a bedtime.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: And whatever for bedtime.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, amen.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and but I was convicted because at night I'd put them down for bed and I just like turn the TV on.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: And and I just felt like this is not the best use of my time.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, I'm constantly asked, because I I'm a list girl.
26:52
SPEAKER_01: So, like, in fact, I just emailed my niece, like she's getting ready to have her first baby.
26:56
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, I have a hospital list.
26:57
SPEAKER_01: It's like five or eight years old, but like I have this big old list.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: And so it I have all these lists, and so everyone's always asked me, what was that recipe you said that you made?
27:06
SPEAKER_01: And oh, what was this?
27:07
SPEAKER_01: And so I just was like, you know what?
27:09
SPEAKER_01: I could start blogging about this.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: And then as I was thinking, I'd love to turn this into a book.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: Um, I started listening.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: I think it was Michael Hyatt and about like build a platform.
27:18
SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, okay, I'm a platform.
27:21
SPEAKER_01: And I will never forget the day my dear friend Trisha Goyer, who's this like prolific author.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: So we've had her on.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: She's amazing.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I met her in person too.
27:29
SPEAKER_01: She's great.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love her.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: She's one of my best friends.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: And she was so funny because like she's been introducing me to her agent.
27:35
SPEAKER_01: She knew that I had this book in heart.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Yeah, but I you know, I gotta build my platform.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: She's like, Christy, you've built your platform.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: Write the book.
27:43
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yes, Trisha.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, I did.
27:47
SPEAKER_01: And she goes, You yeah, no, it's so good.
27:49
SPEAKER_01: She's like, You've done it.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: She goes, now you've got to do it.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, all right.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: She's like, give the proposal to Janet, who's our agent.
27:56
SPEAKER_00: So I was like, okay, here we go.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: That is so cool.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: Neat.
28:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:01
SPEAKER_01: But no, it's it is a process because you have to build an audience, you have to, you know, help them to see that you can be a great resource for that.
28:08
SPEAKER_01: And so it was really powerful to see just how God showed up and opened doors and just, you know, and there's plenty of doors that closed.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: Because again, like and I can say this being a seven now that I can articulate which number I am.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, You're doing good.
28:23
SPEAKER_01: You're good.
28:24
SPEAKER_01: Um, but no, but being a seven, like I am always like, I I call it my Pollyanna thing, where it's just like I am positive.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: Like I have such faith that God can show up and do anything.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, so if I write this book, like, darn it, like HGTV is gonna call me.
28:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, they're gonna be like, this woman needs their own show.
28:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, that's what I literally in my head, like that's where I go with things.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: So honest, that's real.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: That's real.
28:51
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: Food network HGTV.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: No, they have not called it.
28:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: No.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: And see, yeah, see, I can say that yet.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: Someday.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: No, I laughed.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: In fact, you and I are talking with a camera.
29:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna reach and um I got a letter from Chip and Joanna Gaines.
29:09
SPEAKER_01: I sent her a book.
29:10
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
29:12
SPEAKER_01: That's so funny.
29:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so yeah, I sent them a book and I got a thank you note from from the Magnolia team on behalf of Joanna.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: And they even had a little thing like she loved it.
29:21
SPEAKER_01: And so it's just like, that's awesome.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's awesome.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: That's amazing.
29:27
SPEAKER_01: In my seven brain, that means she and I are gonna be best friends.
29:30
SPEAKER_00: Totally, totally.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: No, I have true confessions.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: I've totally done the same thing about it, where it, you know, looks a little differently, but you know, hey, the the world is our oyster and the possibilities are endless.
29:43
SPEAKER_00: So that's right.
29:45
SPEAKER_00: I think it's good.
29:46
SPEAKER_00: I what I love too is that just because we're celebrating moms and um I I say it ad nauseum, but it's true.
29:53
SPEAKER_00: The conversations that I'm having in the living room with my my mom friends who I'm, you know, I've got preteens and teenagers, and so I'm a little bit ahead of them, and they've got little ones, and they're just in the grind and they're having, you know, like new ones every week, it feels like.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: But for them, identity is a big piece of what they're wrestling with because uh there's nothing like losing yourself when you become a mom, because you do, you die to yourself completely.
30:20
SPEAKER_00: It's sort of surrendering, you're surrendering your physical body, whether you've birthed them or not, because it's heart and prayer and energy and emotion, and and you do it unto them, and it's really easy to just forget what you love to do, what you're what you desire to do, what God has put in you.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: But I think you've stated kind of the classic thing that many of us face is that we were in the grind, we're just learning how to survive, and suddenly we're going, Oh, wait a minute, I'm only surviving.
30:49
SPEAKER_00: And yes, I might be thriving in some areas, but you pointed out it's not bad to watch TV at night, but obviously the Lord, you know the Lord had called you to something more, and He wanted you to make the most of the opportunity and and reminded you of this passion and this desire to share this message to other people, and you did it and you and you purposed to do it, even though it looked odd, right?
31:12
SPEAKER_00: You know, you couldn't quit all the things and make that your full-time nine to five.
31:16
SPEAKER_00: You just did it in the moments that you could.
31:19
SPEAKER_01: Yep, because wherever I could.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: And I will say this because you're talking about getting moms together, is that you know, my number one rule is glean and tweak.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: You have got to glean from other people and then learn that you have permission to change up how they do it.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: So good.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: And like we would never hesitate to do that with a recipe.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: I always use that as an example.
31:37
SPEAKER_01: Like if somebody in your family has a dislike or an allergy to something, you're gonna leave it out of the recipe.
31:43
SPEAKER_01: But we refuse to do that in other areas of our life.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: And so I am a firm believer that we need to come together as moms.
31:49
SPEAKER_01: In fact, one of the elements in the book that I encourage my readers to do is to plan a mom's night in.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: And I actually have a special little thing that I have for people.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: And so, um, and at Mother's Day, we're doing a big, you know, exciting thing about mom's night in.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: We need to mom together.
32:07
SPEAKER_01: So M O M, master organizer of Mayhem Together.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: And so I really am encouraging people to not only get the book, but to get the book and plan a mom's night in and get moms together and talk about it.
32:20
SPEAKER_01: What are you doing that's working?
32:22
SPEAKER_01: And what are you doing that's not working that someone else might be really good at?
32:27
SPEAKER_01: And so you should never be afraid.
32:29
SPEAKER_01: And we get so stuck in this.
32:31
SPEAKER_01: I have to appear perfect and like I have my act together for so many people.
32:35
SPEAKER_01: And when we let down our guards and just throw comparison out the door and be real with one another, that's when magic happens.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: And that is where we can truly find just a peace and a joy to have a community of people cheering you on and encouraging you and all that you're doing.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: It's just so powerful.
32:56
SPEAKER_01: So whether you're getting together for a recipe swap or you're getting together to do some of the things that I've highlighted in the mom's night in, um, then it's just so important.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: You cannot give up on just the power of friendship.
33:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's priceless.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: And what you point out there is we were doing an icebreaker the other day, and it just was a very spontaneous thing that popped up.
33:17
SPEAKER_00: But it was this idea if you had extra money, what would you hire out?
33:21
SPEAKER_00: How would you get help?
33:22
SPEAKER_00: And it was exactly how you pointed out.
33:26
SPEAKER_00: We were sitting in there, and a lot of them the pain point was meal planning.
33:30
SPEAKER_00: And for me, kind of that this, you know, hack to system.
33:33
SPEAKER_00: My mom who leads as a one had a very like this amazing system in place, and I tried to implement it, it didn't work.
33:40
SPEAKER_00: And so for me, I felt like, oh, I can show you all these different varieties of how you could do it, and this is how it works for me.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: But you know, we were sitting there kind of sharing, you know, I'd like help, you know, with home organization, I'd like help with cleaning, and I can't get anyone to clean my toilets from that group, but we could sit across the table and go, oh, I would do it for you.
34:02
SPEAKER_00: Thanks, Chris.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: You could come anytime.
34:05
SPEAKER_00: But um, but I just I loved because we all sat there and like, oh, well, I can help you go dairy-free and oh, I can help you put this, you know, grocery list together, and oh, I've learned about this system and and this is hard work.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: So that it's the beautiful gift of community and to not mom alone and to to be open about hey, this this part's hard of it, hard for me.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And someone else is gonna say, Oh, it's not hard for me and not come in judgment, but come to help, which is really, really powerful.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: No, it is so powerful and it's so important.
34:35
SPEAKER_01: And and actually, it's so funny because I always giggle that everybody asks me for laundry advice and meal planning advice.
34:41
SPEAKER_01: Those are the like the two things I get asked the most about.
34:43
SPEAKER_01: So you said that I'm like, yep.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: And I have courses coming because I'm like, people ask me so much.
34:47
SPEAKER_01: I'll just tell you my whole thing.
34:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, I do talk through it in the book, but like I am gonna like talk and show people because I love video from that standpoint.
34:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, let me just show you what I do.
34:56
SPEAKER_01: No, that's great.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, we'll put all the links so that way people can follow up.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: So if it's not quite there, they can get it um soon.
35:03
SPEAKER_00: So that is the question.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: Like, how I want to leave this and what I want to give to my mom friends here is before we get our hands on our book, on your book, which I have it right here.
35:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful.
35:12
SPEAKER_00: I have I have it available to me and I'm learning from it.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: But what are the three steps to help us create some organization from our chaos?
35:22
SPEAKER_01: The number one step is to identify a pain point.
35:25
SPEAKER_01: So uh, I mean, I go through a bunch of stuff, a bunch of steps.
35:27
SPEAKER_01: You do, but like what I really encourage people, if you want to truly just like I'm gonna start today, yeah.
35:33
SPEAKER_01: Um, you need to identify your pain point.
35:35
SPEAKER_01: So what is driving you absolutely bonkers in your house?
35:40
SPEAKER_01: So once you've identified that one thing, I'm telling people, pick one thing, because our problem is we'll pick everything and nothing gets done.
35:49
SPEAKER_01: So if you pick one thing, okay, so let's just say it's the shoes.
35:52
SPEAKER_01: The shoes are everywhere in the house.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: So if that's my pain point, because I'm tired of tripping over them, yeah, then what is my solution?
35:59
SPEAKER_01: So then I start brainstorming solutions, whether I'm asking a friend, looking up on Pinterest, uh, or something, or just even thinking through it, then because sometimes you I knew I'm like, I need a place for the shoes to be.
36:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, so everything if I always say, like this is one of my little hacks, is if it's important enough to keep, it's important enough to give it a home.
36:16
SPEAKER_01: So if the shoes need to stay, then the shoes need to go into a bin.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes there are shoes already in a bin that are too small.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: And so there's no room for the new shoes that actually fit.
36:26
SPEAKER_01: And so that's part of the problem.
36:27
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, you know, so you want to identify the pain um problem and then figure out the solution.
36:33
SPEAKER_01: And then I always tell people to clear the space.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: So you want to completely clean the space out that you are organizing and then only put back what's what's the most important thing.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: So if you're doing like counters or something like that, or a bookshelf, if you clean it and make it pretty as you're organizing it, you will keep that space clean because I did that in my bathroom.
36:53
SPEAKER_01: My bathroom counter is just, it was just, it was like the place I'm I'm in a mouth.
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SPEAKER_01: I'm in a mouth.
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SPEAKER_01: So it was like the place that I just don't care.
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SPEAKER_01: Like I'll leave it.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: And I finally took a few days.
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SPEAKER_01: Well, I'd say a weekend, but it was really like, I mean, it was one day, but it was, you know, like digging in.
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SPEAKER_01: But it I got deep.
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SPEAKER_01: Like I can clean my counter, no problem.
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SPEAKER_01: Like sweep into a drawer.
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SPEAKER_01: Like we can all clean a surface, but when you're really digging in and getting to the bottom of things, that's when um when you're gonna find true freedom because I was finding homes for all the things that are typically on my counter.
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SPEAKER_00: Or realizing they can go in the trash and good riddance because they weren't making your life better.
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SPEAKER_00: I had a huge trash bin.
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SPEAKER_00: Christy, this is awesome.
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SPEAKER_00: I know that every mom is gonna be blessed by this conversation.
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SPEAKER_00: And I've had a ton of joy just getting to talk and connect with you and just want to wish you a happy Mother's Day and continue success in all that you're doing with your organization.
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SPEAKER_00: It's a fantastic.
37:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
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SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you so much for having me on your show.
37:51
SPEAKER_01: It was a joy.
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SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
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SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to tackle that room, closet, or drawer you've been dreading?
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SPEAKER_00: I've been putting her ideas into practice little by little, and her tips have been reminding me to give more grace to myself, my kids, and my home.
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SPEAKER_00: You can get Christy's book, Master Organizer of Mayhem, on Amazon now, and I'd love it if you would give her a follow on Instagram and send her a direct message to let her know what you have learned from this conversation.
38:27
SPEAKER_00: And if you know a mom who could use some encouragement during these crazy times, share this conversation with her to let her know that you're thinking of her.
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SPEAKER_00: Next week we'll be back with another new and timely conversation.
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SPEAKER_00: Be sure you are subscribed so you don't miss an episode.
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SPEAKER_00: So, until next time, let's pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply wholehearted life.