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How to Think Clearly Under Pressure (S5) S31:E2 Sunday · Inspirations for Your Life

0:25
Well, hello there, everyone.
0:26
It is so great to be with you
0:28
on the Inspirations for Your Life show tonight.
0:31
Thank you so much for joining me, really,
0:33
really do appreciate that.
0:35
From the bottom of my heart, if this
0:37
is the very first time you're joining me,
0:39
I want to take the opportunity to say
0:40
welcome and thank you.
0:42
If you've been here one time, five times,
0:44
10 times, 100, or even more, I'd like
0:46
to say thank you and welcome, but I'd
0:47
also like to say the words, welcome back.
0:50
Since today is a Sunday, I want to
0:52
give a shout out to a local business.
0:56
I was actually in Fulton, New Jersey, and
1:00
I discovered a coffee shop that I thought
1:05
would be pretty good.
1:07
So we're doing something new now.
1:09
Not only are we just picking up businesses,
1:11
we're actually visiting them first.
1:12
So I think that's an important thing now
1:15
that we're actually visiting the businesses first.
1:19
So that's really important.
1:22
So I visited Boonton Coffee to say hello
1:25
to the people over there, introduce myself, and
1:27
let them know we would love to do
1:28
a live show there and a recording.
1:31
I dropped there, I got a card from
1:33
a lady named Nina, and I spoke to
1:36
somebody at the desk and gave them my
1:37
information and told them to go to jcmcademy
1:40
.com where they can click on contact us
1:43
and request us to come out so they
1:44
can host us.
1:45
We'd be happy to tell their story after
1:47
the show.
1:48
We will do an author talk, then we'll
1:51
do a Q&A, and then we'll do
1:52
an author signing.
1:54
So it's a nice little coffee shop.
1:56
They have lots of different things.
1:58
It looks like they have other types of
2:00
events there, things like clay workshops and stuff.
2:05
So ours would definitely be a little bit
2:07
different.
2:09
They do some ticketed events, it looks like.
2:13
So that's kind of how it is.
2:15
Ours will be a free event.
2:18
And yeah, so they have lots of different
2:22
things.
2:22
So I think they would definitely really enjoy
2:24
us.
2:25
It looks like they have lots of different
2:26
people there.
2:27
So I hope they will definitely reach out
2:29
to us.
2:30
So the shop is pretty interesting.
2:32
They have lots of different things there.
2:34
They make their own coffees, they're in small
2:36
batches.
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So again, Boonton Coffee, this is a shout
2:39
out to you guys.
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In case you're wondering where they're located, sure.
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They're located at 602 Main Street in Boonton,
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New Jersey, 07005.
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Monday to Wednesday, 6.30 a.m. in
2:50
the morning to 7 p.m. Thursday to
2:52
Friday, 6.30 a.m. to 10 p
2:53
.m. And Saturday, 7.30 a.m. to
2:55
10 p.m. And Sunday, 8 a.m.
2:57
to 7 p.m. So it looks like
2:59
they've closed already this evening, but hopefully they
3:01
will reach out to us at jasonmccademy.com.
3:04
All right, guys, if you're thirsty, if you're
3:05
hungry, feel free to go grab that Comeback.
3:07
I've got some RO water here.
3:10
Delicious.
3:11
This is Inspirations For Your Life.
3:13
Don't forget to check out BelieveMeAchieved.com for
3:17
more of my amazing, of course, inspiring creations.
3:21
All right, guys, the master weekly topic, Series
3:23
5, Show 31 is master your choices before
3:26
they master you.
3:28
And today's granular topic is how to think
3:31
clearly under pressure.
3:32
Series 5, Show 31, episode number two.
3:35
And welcome, everyone, to the ever-popular Inspirations
3:39
For Your Life show.
3:41
It's great to have you here.
3:43
I'm John C.
3:44
Morley, serial entrepreneur, engineer, marketing specialist, video producer,
3:48
podcast host, coach, keynote speaker, graduate student at
3:51
Montclair State University, passionate lifelong learner, and so
3:55
grateful now to be a published author.
3:58
Yes, pressure is part of life, guys, whether
4:01
it's difficult conversation, an unexpected challenge, or an
4:04
important decision.
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Pressure has a way of testing how we
4:08
think in our lives.
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The good news is that clear thinking isn't
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something you're born with.
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It's a skill you develop every day.
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Today, let's explore 30 practical ways, okay, to
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stay calm, think clearly, and make better decisions
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when the pressure is on.
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And, you know, a lot of you are
4:28
saying to me, John, I don't like pressure.
4:29
But I can tell you something.
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If you didn't have pressure, you couldn't walk.
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Did you know that?
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Yes.
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So you need pressure to walk.
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That's right.
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The pressure, basically, we refer to as friction.
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That's kind of what we're talking about.
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If we have too much friction, we can't
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walk.
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If we don't have any, we can't walk
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at all as well, okay?
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So number one, stay calm before reacting.
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The first response isn't always the best response.
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A calm mind sees opportunities that panic often
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misses.
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Number two, emotions influence decisions.
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Feelings are important, but they shouldn't make every
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decision.
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Learn to separate emotion from judgment.
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Number three, pause before responding.
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A brief pause gives you, in your mind,
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time to process instead of simply reacting.
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Thoughtful responses usually create better outcomes.
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Number four, focus on the facts.
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Yep.
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Assumptions create confusion.
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Facts create clarity.
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Make decisions based on what you know, not
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what you fear.
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And we know what fear is, guys.
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Fear is nothing more than false evidence appearing
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real.
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Number five, guys, eliminate unnecessary fear.
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We said it's false evidence appearing real.
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Fear often exaggerates problems.
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Focus on reality and avoid creating obstacles that
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don't actually exist.
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Number six, control what you can.
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Some things are outside your control.
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Invest your energy where it can actually make
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a difference.
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Number seven, stay solution-focused.
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Don't spend all your time discussing the problem.
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Begin looking for the next positive step forward.
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Number eight, think objectively.
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Look at the situation from multiple perspectives.
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Objective thinking helps remove unnecessary bias.
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Number nine, preparation builds confidence.
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Preparation reduces uncertainty.
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The better prepared you are, the calmer you'll
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remain under pressure.
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Number 10, learn to adapt.
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Not everything will go according to plan.
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Just accept that right now.
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Flexibility allows you to keep moving, okay, without
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losing momentum.
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Number 11, ask better questions.
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Ask better questions, all right?
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Better questions lead to better answers.
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Stay curious.
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Instead of making quick, yes, those quick assumptions
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that can oftentimes burn us.
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An assumption is something we think is real,
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but a lot of times it isn't.
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And because of that assumption, we go down
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a rabbit hole that we really didn't want
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to go down.
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There was no need to even go down
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that hole.
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Number 12, guys, slow thinking.
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Slow it down.
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Just slow it down.
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Fast decisions aren't always smart decisions.
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Give yourself enough time to breathe, to think
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clearly, to become aware of life and what's
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around us and ingratiate yourself and be grateful
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for things.
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Number 13, stay emotionally balanced.
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Balance allows you to respond with wisdom instead
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of reacting with frustration or fear.
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Number 14, build mental resilience.
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Every challenge strengthens your ability to handle the
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next one.
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Resilience grows through experience.
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Number 15, listen before speaking.
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Listening provides information that speaking alone never will.
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Understanding always comes before effective communication.
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Number 16, evaluate every option.
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Good decisions rarely come from looking at only
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one solution.
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Consider your options carefully before choosing a direction.
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A few extra minutes of evaluation can save
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weeks of correction.
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Number 17, don't panic.
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So many people I know, they panic.
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Oh my gosh, what am I going to
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do?
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What am I going to do?
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What am I going to do, right?
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Panic just narrows your thinking and often leads
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to poor decisions.
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So slow your breathing down.
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Stay composed.
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And remember that every challenge can be approached
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one step at a time.
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Just like you walk, right?
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You walk putting one foot in front of
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the other.
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That's how you walk.
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Number 18, stay patient.
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Not every problem requires an immediate solution.
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Sometimes we try to come up with a
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solution, but maybe we don't really need a
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solution.
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Maybe it's just a matter of just observing
9:06
and just being, right?
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Patience gives you time to gather information.
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Think clearly and respond with confidence instead of
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urgency.
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Number 19, protect your mindset.
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Protect it.
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Your mindset influences every decision you make.
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Guard it against negativity, unnecessary worry and constant
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distractions.
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A healthy mindset creates better outcomes.
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So what do I mean by this?
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So what we put in our body is
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very important.
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That also means to refer to things like,
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let's say, the words we take, the mental
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diet, not just the stuff that we're hearing.
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I think that's a very important thing.
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We have to understand that.
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If we don't understand that, then I feel
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that challenge can be upon us in a
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way that maybe we're not happy with.
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The challenge could become more stressful.
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I think that's a point that a lot
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of people, like they don't realize what that
10:12
is.
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But I want to tell you that it's
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something that a lot of people, they just
10:18
don't understand what that is or why that
10:22
is a certain way.
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And I can tell you that for whatever
10:27
you're doing, you have to understand that what
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we do matters, okay?
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And how we approach life matters.
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I think that's an important piece of life.
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And hopefully that means something to you, right?
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Hopefully that means something to you.
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And I'll tell you that sometimes we go
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off a path because we don't understand something.
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And we think that's the right way to
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go, but really isn't the right way.
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It just confuses everybody.
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And I think that's a big problem that
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a lot of people, unfortunately, like they don't
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understand.
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And they think that if they act one
11:15
way, that they're going to just magically solve
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the problem.
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But really what they do is they create
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more frustration.
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They create more worry.
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So just like the food you put in
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your body, a mental diet for us is
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so very, very important.
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And the words we hear from others, the
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words that we tell ourselves, maybe you say,
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I'm not this, I'm not that, I'm not
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that.
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All these I'm nots can be a problem.
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And that's a problem for a lot of
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people.
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When I say, I'm not, I'm not, I'm
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not, I'm not, your body's going to say,
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okay, I guess you're not.
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And then you become what you feed into
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your body.
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You become those thoughts.
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And I think that's a hard thing for
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a lot of people to understand, that they
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have the power, they have the control of
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those thoughts.
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But for whatever reason, people get lost.
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They think that where they are right now
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is the whole concept, but really it's just
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more confusion, guys.
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And when we have bad food, right, we're
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not well, we don't feel great.
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But when we put bad words, just like
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bad nutrition, right, if you don't eat enough,
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what happens?
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You get an energy crisis if you don't
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eat at all, right?
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If you put no motivation in your body,
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you get stuck.
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You put the wrong motivation in your body,
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well, you go backwards.
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So this is why this is really important
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that you think about the content you want
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to put into your mind, because that makes
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a big difference, okay?
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It's important.
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I think if people knew how they affected
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themselves, I think that's a big thing that
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many people, they just don't realize it.
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And I think if people would know that
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they could make this difference, they would absolutely
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make the difference, like night and day.
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But most people don't think that they have
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to make the difference.
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They figure that, well, you know, there's lots
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of stuff in the universe.
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Yeah, but the stuff in the universe, guys,
13:41
is actually running you to someone else's plan,
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not your own plan.
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I think those are really key things.
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So I've always said this before.
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You can have your plan and move toward
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it or have no plan and be living
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someone else's.
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You can build your own dream or, again,
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you can work on someone else's.
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Not that that's bad, but we want to
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have our own dreams, guys.
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We want to have those.
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Number 20, think long term.
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Don't let today's pressure cause tomorrow's regret.
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Make decisions that support your long term goals
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instead of simply providing short term relief.
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And I think that's another big point is
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that so many people, they look at short
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term relief like, oh my gosh, this is
14:27
how we have to go.
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But then they don't realize that this is
14:32
actually what they're doing themselves.
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They're causing this problem themselves.
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They're causing it.
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So your thoughts create your reality.
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You are where you are right now because
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of the thoughts you had yesterday.
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And before.
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If we realize that, we can change it.
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We can stop it.
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And we can have those thoughts put us
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in a different pathway, a different course.
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Just alter it.
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You might say, well, John, I've been following
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it my whole life.
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OK?
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And are you happy with where it's putting
15:03
you right now?
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No.
15:06
So if you're not happy, then probably it's
15:08
time for you to make a change.
15:12
Time to make a change.
15:13
Because Einstein said before, the definition of insanity
15:17
is doing the same thing over and over
15:19
again and expecting what, guys?
15:22
Different results.
15:25
Different results.
15:29
I think that's an important thing that many
15:32
people don't understand.
15:35
They don't understand what this means or that
15:38
they have this kind of power.
15:41
OK?
15:41
But there is a lot of power out
15:44
there.
15:47
And the power to change your life is
15:50
literally just one thought away.
15:54
Right?
15:55
Thinking clearly and making sure that you are
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getting input that will make you productive, will
16:04
make you happy, will make you proud, will
16:08
make you move towards your goals.
16:15
People will tell you all day, you're not
16:17
this.
16:17
I'm not this.
16:17
You're not that.
16:18
You keep being around those people, that negative
16:20
energy, guys, is going to fade from them
16:23
onto you.
16:25
Number 21, learn from pressure.
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OK?
16:29
Pressure is not a bad thing.
16:30
It's a good thing.
16:33
And I will tell you that something like
16:37
this is something that you don't realize.
16:40
OK?
16:41
It's something that you can make a huge,
16:44
huge difference.
16:46
And I can tell you that you can
16:48
make this change in your life if you
16:51
really want to, if you want to.
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It doesn't just happen on your own accord.
16:57
You have to be intentional.
16:59
You have to be consistent with structure.
17:12
And I can tell you that you can
17:15
find what you want if you truly go
17:18
after it.
17:19
So pressure is one of life's greatest teachers.
17:21
Every difficult situation develops experience, confidence, and better
17:26
judgment for the future.
17:28
Number 22, stay flexible.
17:31
Sometimes, guys, the goal remains the same while
17:37
the path changes.
17:39
Flexibility allows us to adjust without giving up
17:42
on what matters most to us.
17:45
Sometimes we need to tweak the path, right?
17:48
Maybe we're going somewhere and there's traffic or
17:50
there's an accident.
17:52
We need to alter our course so we
17:55
can still get to the restaurant or get
17:57
to that place we want to get to,
17:58
right?
18:00
Number 23, trust preparation.
18:04
This is what I think a lot of
18:06
people, they hedge on because they don't think
18:11
it's real, but it really is.
18:14
Preparation gives you confidence whenever uncertainty appears.
18:18
And uncertainty is going to appear.
18:19
And I've learned that uncertainty appears when you're
18:21
close to your goals.
18:23
The work you do before pressure arrives often
18:27
determines how well you perform during it.
18:30
That's the whole concept I said before about
18:32
being proactive, not reactive, okay?
18:38
I think that's an important piece for a
18:41
lot of us to understand.
18:44
And if we understand that, then maybe we
18:47
can actually change our lives.
18:49
For the better, that is.
18:51
For the better.
18:52
All right, number 24, learn to build confidence
18:57
through experience.
19:00
Every challenge you overcome will remind you that
19:06
you're more capable than you once believed.
19:09
See, people say, I'm not this, I'm not
19:11
that.
19:12
I'm not tall enough.
19:13
I'm not smart enough.
19:14
I don't have enough money.
19:15
I'm not wealthy enough.
19:16
I'm not this.
19:17
I'm not that.
19:21
I'm not a million things.
19:24
And you condition your mind to saying, okay,
19:26
I'm not that, so I guess I'm already
19:28
done.
19:29
See, you're more capable than you once believed.
19:31
That's the key.
19:33
Confidence grows one experience at a time.
19:37
It does not happen overnight.
19:39
I want to say that to you now.
19:41
It is the constant flow of being constructive,
19:46
okay?
19:46
Of being consistent, okay?
19:51
Consistency and structure is what leads us to
19:54
success.
19:55
You don't do it one day, guys.
19:57
You have to keep doing it day in
19:59
and day out.
20:01
But you say, well, John, I did it
20:02
three days.
20:03
Well, that's fine.
20:05
But you need to keep doing it, right?
20:08
Over and over and over again.
20:12
I think those are important things that many
20:15
people like.
20:16
They just don't realize that they have the
20:20
power to change.
20:21
So when you change I'm not to I
20:24
am, you become it.
20:28
You become those things that you didn't think
20:30
you could do.
20:31
I am.
20:32
I am.
20:33
I am.
20:35
I am this.
20:36
I am that.
20:37
I am wealthy.
20:38
I am smart.
20:39
I am grateful, okay?
20:46
That's important, guys, to understand that whole concept,
20:51
right?
20:51
Understanding that whole concept matters so much.
20:55
Number 25, please keep improving your life.
20:59
There's always another lesson to learn around every
21:01
corner and another skill to develop.
21:04
Continuous improvement prepares you for tomorrow's opportunities and
21:08
the journeys ahead.
21:09
You see, the skills that you learn today
21:12
will actually be the ones you need later.
21:16
I like to think about this similar to
21:19
sports.
21:20
When you are learning sports, like, for example,
21:23
when I was learning many years when I
21:24
was younger to play soccer, there are some
21:28
basics, right?
21:29
So what are the basics to being a
21:33
good soccer player?
21:34
Does anybody know?
21:35
So I was on soccer teams for a
21:36
long time.
21:37
So the basics are first, touch.
21:41
Learn to stop or redirect the ball cleanly
21:43
when it comes to you, not your hands.
21:45
Dribble, keeping the ball close to your feet
21:48
so you can move past other players.
21:50
Passing and shooting.
21:51
Practice kicking accurate with both your left and
21:54
your right feet.
21:55
Stamina, agility, and balance.
21:58
Field vision, teamwork, coachability.
22:01
That's where it starts, but you have to
22:02
keep working at it.
22:03
Number 26, stay disciplined.
22:05
Discipline keeps your emotions from making your decisions
22:08
for you.
22:09
Stay focused on your values, your goals, and
22:11
the actions that move you forward.
22:14
In other words, what moves the needle in
22:17
a positive direction for you.
22:18
Number 27, make thoughtful decisions.
22:21
Think beyond the immediate moment.
22:23
Consider how today's choice will affect your future,
22:26
your relationships, and your personal growth.
22:29
Number 28, strong thinking creates strong outcomes.
22:33
Clear thinking leads to better actions.
22:36
And better actions produce better results.
22:40
Strengthen your thinking and you'll strengthen every area
22:43
of your life.
22:45
Number 29, please note, pressure reveals character.
22:50
It should not stress you out.
22:52
It should bring out who you really are.
22:58
Anyone, ladies and gentlemen, can stay calm when
23:01
life is easy.
23:02
That's no secret.
23:04
Your true character is revealed by how you
23:07
respond when circumstances become difficult and challenging.
23:11
That's why people always want to get to
23:14
know you in different situations.
23:15
When you've gone for job interviews, well, what
23:20
was something you did that was challenging and
23:21
how did you handle it?
23:25
Number 30, guys, calm minds make better decisions.
23:29
The ability to remain calm under pressure is
23:31
one of the greatest advantages you can develop
23:35
in your life.
23:36
A peaceful mind sees possibilities that panic can
23:40
never recognize.
23:41
It doesn't even see them.
23:43
I think that's a problem.
23:44
When we can't see something, we don't know
23:47
what's going to happen.
23:48
And we're kind of like, all right, I
23:51
don't know where I'm going.
23:53
And then that doubt creeps in.
24:01
That's important, guys.
24:03
That's important.
24:05
As I get ready to close today's show,
24:07
I want to let you know that pressure
24:08
isn't your enemy.
24:10
It's an opportunity to demonstrate strength and discipline
24:13
and wisdom you've been developing over time.
24:16
If we didn't have pressure, guys, and friction,
24:19
we wouldn't be able to walk.
24:20
Every challenge invites you to slow down, think
24:24
clearly, and make choices that reflect your values
24:27
instead of your emotions.
24:30
As you move through this week, remember, ladies
24:33
and gentlemen, that mastering your choices begins by
24:36
mastering your thinking.
24:38
You're not expected to do this in one
24:39
hour, one day, one week, or even a
24:43
month or a year.
24:44
Stay patient with yourself.
24:46
Continue learning and trust that every challenge is
24:48
helping you become a wiser and smarter and
24:51
more confident decision maker.
24:53
I do want to, again, give that shout
24:57
out to Boonton Coffee Company.
25:00
They are located at the address I gave
25:04
you, 602 Main Street in Boonton, New Jersey.
25:08
You could tell them you heard about them
25:10
here on the Inspirations For Your Life show.
25:12
We hope that they will ask us to
25:14
do a show there.
25:16
We would love to do that.
25:17
Thank you so very much, ladies and gentlemen,
25:20
for choosing to join me for another amazing
25:22
episode of Inspirations For Your Life.
25:24
I am John C.
25:27
Morley, serial entrepreneur.
25:29
Engineer, marketing specialist, video producer, podcast host, coach,
25:34
keynote speaker, graduate student at Montclair State University,
25:38
passionate lifelong learner, and grateful now to be
25:41
a published author.
25:43
You know, ladies and gentlemen, when people ask
25:47
me, you know, what got you started on
25:50
your path?
25:52
And I tell them my core values.
25:55
If you asked me years ago, was I
25:57
going to write a book?
25:58
I probably would have told you no.
26:00
If you were going to ask me that
26:01
I was going to go back to school
26:02
to get another master's and a PhD, I
26:04
probably would have told you no, right?
26:07
But our life evolves.
26:09
It morphs.
26:10
And we find that if we don't have
26:13
a tool we need, we can go get
26:16
it or we can go learn about it.
26:19
Knowledge is something everyone has access to.
26:23
Ladies and gentlemen, until next time, there's something
26:26
important I want to say to you.
26:28
I want you to please stay calm.
26:33
I know there's going to be those times
26:35
when panic is going to rear its head
26:37
and others are going to panic and they're
26:39
going to be like, what are you doing?
26:40
What are you doing?
26:41
What are you doing?
26:43
It's important that you take a breath.
26:46
It's important that you think clearly when others
26:50
rush or they try to put you on
26:54
edge, right?
27:00
That's a key.
27:01
But it's not something you're going to develop
27:02
overnight.
27:03
So don't beat yourself up over it.
27:05
And remember, ladies and gentlemen, that the quality
27:08
of your decisions is often determined by what?
27:15
The quality of your thinking.
27:19
The quality of your thinking.
27:21
I think that's an important piece that many
27:24
people miss.
27:25
Remember, ladies and gentlemen, master your thoughts.
27:29
Master your choices.
27:31
And you know what you're going to do?
27:32
You're going to master your future.
27:34
But I don't want you to think that
27:36
you just press some button and this just
27:39
pops out, right?
27:40
It's not like that.
27:43
Mastering your life is evolution.
27:47
It's learning from what we didn't do well
27:51
and how we can improve it.
27:53
Don't beat yourself up by what went wrong.
27:57
Learn the lesson, get rid of the emotion,
27:59
and figure out how we can change it.
28:01
Have yourself a great rest of your day
28:02
or evening.
28:03
I'll see you on another show.
28:04
Be well.