Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 134: How’d I Miss That? Blue Church Vans, Bible Drills, and My High School Youth Minister - Dr. Rob Boyd

Transcript

Episode 134: How’d I Miss That? Blue Church Vans, Bible Drills, and My High School Youth Minister - Dr. Rob Boyd · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:06
[SPEAKER_01]: This is Cynthia Gannoff, and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey friends, welcome to the podcast.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I am thrilled that you're here.
0:18
[SPEAKER_01]: And I love that you guys have enjoyed this series so much.
0:21
[SPEAKER_01]: As we've talked to all kinds of people about my new book, out as a February 3rd, how'd I miss that?
0:27
[SPEAKER_01]: And yes, we have literally talked to my mom.
0:31
[SPEAKER_01]: We have talked to my husband.
0:33
[SPEAKER_01]: We have talked to friends of mine people who make me laugh and today we're talking to a blast from my past.
0:40
[SPEAKER_01]: My youth minister from my El Paso Texas days and when you read the book you will see that I write a chapter about growing up in El Paso.
0:47
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a border town and all the awesome memories but yet also there's a lot of unflattering moments especially for a man.
0:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Dr.
0:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Rob Boyd, who only knew me in my junior high early high school years.
0:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I always say this, you should not judge someone based on their 16 year old self.
1:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm a prime example of that, but I did, I deemed Rob and I said, hey, would you be willing to come on the podcast and he was so kind to say yes, reluctantly, albeit, but he said yes.
1:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And listen, when we got on to tape, he had Arby's fries and a drink in front of him.
1:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I said, do you like Arby's?
1:22
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, no, I've never eaten it.
1:24
[SPEAKER_01]: But I got it because I wanted to be on theme with a book, which is one of the chapters that I talk about in the book.
1:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And so that was so kind and fun of him.
1:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And so today, he's going to share a few stories.
1:34
[SPEAKER_01]: We're going to laugh a little bit.
1:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Talk about some spiritual disciplines in our life, and more than anything.
1:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I just want to thank him for coming on.
1:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to thank you guys for listening.
1:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to thank you for supporting.
1:44
[SPEAKER_01]: this book.
1:45
[SPEAKER_01]: If you haven't bought a copy yet, please, it would mean so much to me if you would do it now.
1:50
[SPEAKER_01]: The first week that a book releases, it's big and so every single sale matters.
1:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And so if you haven't bought one, if you grab one now or maybe you bought one, you start reading it and you're like, oh my mom would love this one or my best friend, great order them one.
2:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I would be so appreciative.
2:07
[SPEAKER_01]: But today we are going to chat with my former youth minister
2:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Rob, boy, welcome to the podcast.
2:20
[SPEAKER_01]: How are you doing?
2:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Great, great to hear from me, my friend.
2:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, this is, okay, so I've been like talking out how this series on the podcast is going to be people who made me laugh, people from my past, people that are talked about in the book, and so you represent the person from my past and so random that I totally reached out on Facebook and message you, right?
2:42
[SPEAKER_00]: That's correct.
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And you were nice enough to say yes, that you would come on and chat with me.
2:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Have you ever been on a podcast before?
2:49
[SPEAKER_00]: My son did a podcast for a couple years, but I've never done one.
2:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm an old man, technically challenged.
2:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, well, he's not that old, but yes.
2:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And so you were my youth minister when I was in junior high-ish, maybe early high school, what do you think, what years were you there?
3:08
[SPEAKER_00]: I think you, I came when you were the ninth or tenth grade.
3:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so for a couple of years there, and just tell everybody where you are in life now and you're family and all those good things.
3:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, well, my first job out of seven area was first Baptist Church of El Paso, Texas, where I was the Minister of Youth and College students.
3:27
[SPEAKER_00]: And never been to the West, didn't know if I'd ever be a youth pastor, but stay there seven years, had a wonderful time, learning to be a pastor on the best pastors in all the world leave our price.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: and met my wife.
3:40
[SPEAKER_00]: So we call it El Paso, part of our home because we were married there.
3:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't hear that was your first job.
3:47
[SPEAKER_00]: First job out of first job, church job ever.
3:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And they got married and I've had four been a pastor and two churches in Mississippi, 20 years and last Vegas, and the last five right here in Phoenix.
4:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, wow, wow.
4:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So here you are, I'm Phoenix.
4:03
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so that's your history.
4:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Anything else we need to know about your family, and kids, anything else we need to know?
4:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Two grown boys, Stephen 32 lives in Dallas in the Bishop Arts District, and my son Michael lives here in Phoenix.
4:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, I randomly met your son.
4:19
[SPEAKER_01]: One of them went to college at DBU.
4:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that right?
4:22
[SPEAKER_01]: That's Steve.
4:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I ran into him somewhere, and it's a long story here in Dallas, and he said his last name, and I was like, do you know Rob Boyd?
4:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Like is that your family's like, it's my dad.
4:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, really that was what you've been a stir back in the day.
4:35
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, well, we're going to talk about some things in the books, some things from the past, but you know, you've read probably a little bit of the book, and I talk about the high school junior high days and just growing up in church.
4:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm wondering, any memories from back in the day that you want to share with us?
4:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, in your book, you mentioned a blue turtvane and things you've sitting have done and a blue turtvane.
4:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember that blue turtvane and I wasn't aware of some of those things and probably like, glad I'm not.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: I did mention that you know, you know you've grown up in the church, not just like grow up going to church.
5:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's kind of different.
5:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Like you grew up in the church.
5:14
[SPEAKER_01]: If your first kiss was in the black, back of a blue,
5:18
[SPEAKER_01]: mini a church van and not even just a church van.
5:21
[SPEAKER_01]: You remember how the church van would get so hot that burned your feet.
5:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Our member clearly.
5:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And so yes, well, it's probably better.
5:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You didn't know some of those things.
5:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember the whole debate about what music we could listen to in the church van on ski trips?
5:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I remember I was probably had a reputation, even though I wasn't much older, I was only 25 when I got there.
5:42
[SPEAKER_00]: But I came on strong, Christian music, no bikinis, I had all these rules that I've tried been forced and people have hated me far, but I do remember that trying to convince me which was Christian music and which wasn't.
5:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I remember we had a pretty strong world of Bades over you too and just for the record I might fall on a different side of it now than I did then but boy, we tried hard Yeah, we have I have representatives come making the tapes, you know the the call the song list The what could be played and what could not be played?
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah
6:18
[SPEAKER_00]: It was always loud, that's what I remember.
6:21
[SPEAKER_01]: That's funny.
6:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I wrote this in the book.
6:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you grew up in church.
6:24
[SPEAKER_01]: If your first kiss was in the third row of a baby, blue church van, where the floorboards were so hot, you got third degree burns, taking out your shoes on the way home from the spring break trip.
6:33
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, you grew up in church, if at least once a month, your Sunday afternoon, it was sacrificed to Bible drills, packed into a room full of cold pizza, new coke, and awkward pre-teens, who had nowhere better to be.
6:43
[SPEAKER_01]: You know you grew up in church, if the mention of lock-ins immediately brings back memories of questionable shaperoning at the local YMCA, you know you grew up in church if you don't even slightly flinch the reference to puppets and ministry in the same sentence.
6:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Question for y on that.
6:58
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you remember those YMCA lock-ins with that?
7:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
7:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
7:03
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we did the YMCA was right across from my church.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was old and big and no telling where it people snuck off to.
7:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And then we moved to the lockouts.
7:13
[SPEAKER_00]: We moved to the lockouts where we rented a bus and we traveled around later on.
7:17
[SPEAKER_00]: That way, we could keep people awake.
7:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that seems a little better to walk about the lockman.
7:22
[SPEAKER_01]: That YMCA, if you guys listening, if you've ever been in one of those all nighters at the youth group, that's this particular location, a lot to your point, a lot of hiding places, a lot of places we probably weren't supposed to be,
7:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, now here's a question, did you ever as a youth minister and now you've been a pastor many years, but back in the day, did you, did you ever look at certain kids or like, man, they're going to do something and then other kids you were like,
7:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know how they're going to turn out, is that, is that coming to play?
7:52
[SPEAKER_00]: There's so many times, and we had, the church where you grew up in, you had people who were so many of the high-achievers, you know, people who started out had big plans and what I think of people like you and Courtney Brown or Jennifer Uxer, you know, I used to tell of Courtney and Jennifer, girls, you need to lighten up, you need to lighten up.
8:08
[SPEAKER_00]: They're so driven and driven and driven and driven and driven, and then other people, and
8:13
[SPEAKER_00]: probably the biggest challenge in that church was you had what I called the the pretty people of the church people, but also I had a heart for the, you remember the lean more children's home and all the people who went there who lived near the church and they were totally socially opposites but in youth group was a beauty of the church they mingle they mingle they would not mingle anywhere else sort of like
8:38
[SPEAKER_00]: the difference between church and a sorority or fraternity.
8:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it came from all social spectrums, and it's great years later to hear from people who may be grew up in that other group.
8:51
[SPEAKER_00]: They didn't come from the west side, lived down, and I still keep in touch with people who've reached out to me 20, 30 years later, and the gods used them in a great way.
9:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that children's home.
9:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Was that a foster care?
9:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it was called a lean more children's home and it was right at the street from the church and they would come to our church and but they didn't socially quote fit But I I loved going up there and do Bible studies when they have and that about a hundred kids up there and they would come and Have the people in our church liked it some people didn't like it.
9:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
9:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, wow, the memories and how funny interesting that all those years ago, well, we had that connection to the lean more children's home and that later I would adopt a kid out from foster care, so isn't in that funny how it comes full circle.
9:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So, back to my question, Rob, about how some kids you'd look at me like, man, they're going to do something in some of your like, hmm, I wonder, which category was I in, Rob?
9:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You can say it.
9:50
[SPEAKER_01]: You can say it.
9:50
[SPEAKER_01]: These people know.
9:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, I will say this in a positive way, you've always been an influencer.
9:55
[SPEAKER_00]: You've always been an influencer.
9:57
[SPEAKER_00]: And to the point, the funny story I will tell you is that you always had your ideas of what we should do.
10:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And you, and I,
10:05
[SPEAKER_00]: find out that you became a lawyer because you always represented a group of people.
10:09
[SPEAKER_00]: You would always come and say, Rob, we want to go to this key trip.
10:14
[SPEAKER_00]: We want to go here and we can't go on this weekend because I've got another group that I'm going with.
10:20
[SPEAKER_00]: This time, balance hour, you threaten me sometime to take all our kids to the Methodist Church if we didn't do what if we didn't go where you wanted to go.
10:28
[SPEAKER_01]: That sounds, I don't remember this, but that sounds about right.
10:35
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember, I remember, I was the social one, obviously my family always had a million people around all the things.
10:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I say this, I've said this before on the podcast.
10:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to mention a name, but there's still one person from high school that you would know if I said the person's name.
10:49
[SPEAKER_01]: They still won't speak to me, I've seen this person a couple of times, and I always say on this podcast, nobody needs to be judged by their 16 year old self.
10:56
[SPEAKER_01]: We've all come a long way, people,
10:58
[SPEAKER_01]: that doesn't sound unlike me to be like we need to do it this way.
11:01
[SPEAKER_01]: This is how this is going to happen.
11:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And you have to bear in mind, my mom was on church staff.
11:06
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was basically my mom was not a preacher, but I was basically like a preacher's kid, like I just kind of lived at the church.
11:12
[SPEAKER_01]: So I just thought, I, you know, if I, if I needed that to happen, it was going to happen and, you know,
11:16
[SPEAKER_01]: That couldn't have been pleasant for you, Ron.
11:18
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it was in blast.
11:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And the preachers that the ministers, kids, were some of the ones I've kept in touch with over the years and loved your mom and dad or two of the favorite people in all the world.
11:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mentioned you talked to somebody else or is in your book.
11:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I can remember many of the times, I was the youth minister.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Your mom was the education minister.
11:37
[SPEAKER_00]: We'd have 25 kids over at your house playing spoons and your mom and I would be the last two.
11:42
[SPEAKER_00]: The kids would be gone and would be the last two fighting the most competitive in the group.
11:47
[SPEAKER_01]: She said that to me the night.
11:48
[SPEAKER_01]: She was asking of her members playing spoons and always coming down to the last two months.
11:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's so, that's so fun.
11:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, here's a question for you.
11:57
[SPEAKER_01]: As I talked about it a little bit in the book, just growing up in church and I laughed about a lot of the memories, but I also am so thankful for how formative church was in my life.
12:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Even when I was a turkey, I remember my mom tells the story of this probably under your time there,
12:15
[SPEAKER_01]: We were leading a Wednesday night student-led service or something and I was going to give the message of some sort, but I hadn't prepared so I tried to cram it in the 30 minutes before and so I got up there and apparently made like 2 points that took about 4 minutes and then I said well in conclusion and everybody died laughing like what are you concluding girl you just got out there.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But I think about all those times and how they really were formative in my faith and in my friendships.
12:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And even setting a stage to get to do what I do now and speak and so many things and you just don't know what you don't know in the moment of how the Lord's going to use different things in your own lives and the life of our kids as we're raising kids now.
12:55
[SPEAKER_01]: But I also think about just the formation spiritually that I received in church.
13:04
[SPEAKER_01]: complained a whole lot about your rules about music, that we were gonna play in the church vans.
13:09
[SPEAKER_01]: It did impart on me that what I listen to matters, and it still is something that I think about, what goes into my head, either through music or Netflix or whatever, I talked to my kids about that all the time.
13:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I think about just those lock-ins and the intention of bringing kids together and having community and friendships.
13:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And how that really did,
13:28
[SPEAKER_01]: lead me into great friendships later in life and knowing the importance of having community around me.
13:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I think about all the Bible studies, all the times that I wanted to do is off our skip, which my parents never would have let me, that all those Bible studies, but it did teach me an impart God's word in my heart all those years ago.
13:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think about some of the funny things, but also just this debt of gratitude to you and so many that rooted me in God's word when I was probably very hard to minister to.
13:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And so one thank you for that.
14:00
[SPEAKER_01]: But also I would love for us just to talk a minute about just
14:04
[SPEAKER_01]: boring is the word sounds, but I talk about it in the book, let's talk about spiritual disciplines and those words can be snoozers, but you're a pastor now and I know you know the importance of them, but just talk to us a little bit about that and maybe if you didn't grow up in church or maybe you did, but just those reminders of why these very basic things matter.
14:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, one of the great things I liked about being a student pastor.
14:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't want to be a pastor I want to be a pastor and I couldn't I was single and didn't good job and leave my price said come be my youth minister.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll teach you everything.
14:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had a pastor's heart but I had the best seven years of my life getting to know that the students and their parents because I was sort of in between there.
14:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But I did come with a discipleship approach
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: We started probably our first there we started the disciple now weekends, do you remember those?
14:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And we did that was a big year every year.
14:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And just the discipline, when we started basically prayer, Bible study, evangelism, yeah, the quiet times.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And I had a little, I didn't grow up in church.
15:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just have, over the years, I've said a seven-minute quiet time, start every day, you know, the three minutes praying, three minutes reading a Bible.
15:12
[SPEAKER_00]: and then just, and then with another prayer, and just somehow to have that discipline there, and just the discipline of just praying every day, your quiet spending time alone with God every day, and so even when we go on ski trips or fun trips or start going to centrifuge that in your generation there, we just saw how spending the personal time alone with God more than just going to a
15:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I like that you said seven minutes because I do feel like we overcomplicate it, tell me if you agree with this, but I feel like we get in this mindset that it has to be a certain way.
15:49
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to be a certain hour to do it.
15:51
[SPEAKER_01]: It's going to be an hour here, and it's got to be this laborious thing, dare I say that.
15:56
[SPEAKER_01]: But it doesn't.
15:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, spending time with God, if it's five minutes or 50 minutes or five hours, like whatever you can give,
16:04
[SPEAKER_01]: It returns dividends and I love that you're saying like seven minutes is that something that you just kind of came up with or how was that in part it on you Yeah, I just I just like to start the day to even today.
16:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm 65 65 years old and I start every day with Psalm 1824.
16:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I say this is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and we glad it in it
16:22
[SPEAKER_00]: But my first words I say good, you know, good morning God rather than good God is morning, you know, I want someone to say good morning God I start it with God and just I don't have a long I just want to start it and I don't think you start and stop But you start it and then you can sprinkle in the rest of the day It's not a chore, but I like to begin the day and with God
16:43
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, I like the Tom Brady quote.
16:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I use it in the book, and I'm sure Rob in seminary nobody ever used Tom Brady to talk about, he probably wouldn't be born when you were there, but to talk about spiritual disciplines, but he just talks about how, when asked, how'd you become the goat of quarterbacks?
17:03
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, listen, there's nothing special about me.
17:05
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just willing to do what other people won't.
17:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that's something in faith, it's easy to look around and be like, well, that person just more spiritual or the Lord just has shown more favor on them or whatever the thing is.
17:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think maybe there's some truth in that, I think you just got to be willing to do what others won't.
17:21
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't mean in competition with other Christians, but just in our culture, it is not favorable or it's not something that's esteemed to spend time being quiet and to spend time reading God's Word.
17:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think we have to get out of this cultural mindset that it's achievement achievement, but it has, we just need to slow down and be quiet.
17:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think that that, it's easy to convince yourself that some people have something you don't when really at the end of the day, seven minutes is a difference maker.
17:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
17:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Let me ask you this.
17:53
[SPEAKER_01]: This is, I'm switching gears for a second.
17:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there one hack or anything besides the seven-minute?
17:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, is there something you do to quiet yourself?
18:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there a two-listen of warship music?
18:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there anything else that you do that really helps you?
18:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not a music person, you know, a jog, I go walks, I just try to get a loan, I do memorize scripture, that's always been good to me.
18:14
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you mentioned, I think it was in your book, one of the chapters did you mention, I don't know if you mentioned John 14 and not just so much.
18:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, my favorite chapter is John 15 and John 15 abide in the vine and because I think especially growing up in church, you mentioned the Bible drills and all that.
18:32
[SPEAKER_00]: If you grew up in church, you can almost start thinking, Christianity says, all about doing that on a laundry room, doing those barber wheels, going to church, getting your church PM.
18:41
[SPEAKER_00]: But John 15 is not about doing, it's about being, being the vine, everything I'm the vine, you're the branches.
18:49
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you're connected to the vine, so that's what I like to, that's how I get my sweet spot is I wanna focus on being more than doing.
18:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we become, we don't admit it, but we become legalistic and oh, I do this, I do this and telling God how much we do when God just says, I want you to sit and let me hug you and let me hold you for a while.
19:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, well, that's so, that's so good.
19:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mentioned, and there I talk about growing up hearing, I was in the sense of what class and I wish I could remember who the teachers were, but I thought they were like ancient back in the day and they're probably like my age now.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So that's humbling, but I remember every week they would, and you weren't there yet, it's when I was young, but they would have us memorize the same verses out of John 14, I believe it's one through three, yeah.
19:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was just so put out about it.
19:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Imagine, Rob, me having a pen
19:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh my gosh, every single week, the same thing.
19:43
[SPEAKER_01]: But then, they would offer a stone at, and that went a long way, because they would give us food.
19:47
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm like, okay, well memorize it.
19:48
[SPEAKER_01]: But I wrote the book, how the verses were, let not your heart be troubled.
19:52
[SPEAKER_01]: You believe in God, believe also me in my house or many mansions.
19:55
[SPEAKER_01]: If we're not so, I would have told you.
19:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I go to prepare a place for you.
19:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And if I go to prepare a place for you, I'll come again, and receive you to myself, that where I am, there you may be also.
20:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And so, I just said that for memory, because I remember it literally memorizing it in second or third grade.
20:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I talked a little bit about how, of all the verses in the Bible, why were those the ones that that couple wanted us to memorize?
20:16
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think now knowing what I know, they were older, they had lived some life in what, what encouragement and those verses it says, like listen, like,
20:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God, believe in me, and my house are many mansions that I go to prepare a place for you.
20:31
[SPEAKER_01]: And if I do, I'll come again and receive you into myself.
20:34
[SPEAKER_01]: And I just think about the fact that they knew that life would be hard for us.
20:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And one day, we were going to need to be able to draw on the fact that this is not our home.
20:42
[SPEAKER_01]: This isn't where we live long-term that there are troubles that is difficult, but there is a better place waiting.
20:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think what a gift it was that they taught me scripture that I would need to know later on down the road.
20:54
[SPEAKER_01]: how important it is for our kids to know scripture.
20:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think specifically of my little one that we adopted from foster care, and he's got a hard story.
21:02
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think every morning on the way to school and this isn't like a kudos to Cynthia, but just this is something for my past that kind of has blood forward.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Every morning we memorize scripture on the way to school.
21:13
[SPEAKER_01]: We have like a 10-minute drive and we learn a different verse every week or two when he memorizes it.
21:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And how I can't control how he
21:21
[SPEAKER_01]: one day we'll perceive that story.
21:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't control what that does to his identity.
21:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't control some of the decisions he's going to make.
21:28
[SPEAKER_01]: But what we can do now is plant gods of word in his heart and pray that that will that will seep in and that he will one day when the days are hard that he'll be able to go back to that and be rooted in it.
21:39
[SPEAKER_01]: And so just those reminders that memorizing scripture, those things matter.
21:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wonder, did you have that in your life?
21:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I know you didn't grow up in a Christian home, but did you memorize scripture a lot when you were younger or did later, or is it hard for you?
21:51
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that play out?
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: You know,
21:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I loved him when I loved him in my scripture, and I didn't grow up memorizing the scripture, but God has blessed me with a good memory.
22:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I can't remember somebody's name or what had for lunch yesterday, but I memorized my sermons.
22:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I preached without notes, and I was in a Sunday school class in college when a Sunday school teacher challenged us to memorize Hebrews 11.
22:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So I memorized that chapter.
22:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I memorized the sermons on the mount.
22:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I did the sermon on the Mount at the first Baptist El Paso picnic one day, and the reason I like to memorize that, it just keeps my mind from wandering, it keeps my mind focused on God, not to say I did this, I did this, but it keeps my mind from going to places it shouldn't go, and so that's what scripture memory does to me, and it's amazing.
22:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You memorize it in college, 40 years later, it'll come back, it'll come just like that.
22:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So I love scripture.
22:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I love scripture.
22:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, learning it early.
22:49
[SPEAKER_01]: What are different speakers?
22:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm with you.
22:51
[SPEAKER_01]: The older I get, the harder it's for me to retain it.
22:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But I watch my little one.
22:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Hey struggles academically, but man, can he memorize scripture?
22:58
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think man, I thank goodness for studying school teachers back in the day.
23:02
[SPEAKER_01]: His old fashions that felt to me and out of date.
23:04
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm so thankful for that.
23:05
[SPEAKER_01]: And to the point of those verses, though, let's just talk a little bit about, and I mentioned this in the book, but about when life is hard, and it feels like God is silent.
23:15
[SPEAKER_01]: And he thoughts on that for someone who's listening, it's like, listen, I grew up in church, or maybe I didn't, and I faced some hard times, and I feel like sometimes God has been present, or I don't hear from Him, thoughts on that?
23:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, a lot of times when things happen to us, and we want to say, God, why, why me, and sometimes we think we're the only ones,
23:34
[SPEAKER_00]: One of the turning points I had in my life is when I stopped asking why, and it's okay to ask why.
23:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus asked why.
23:42
[SPEAKER_00]: My God, my God, why has Thou forsaken me?
23:44
[SPEAKER_00]: But when you start, stop asking why, and you start asking what?
23:49
[SPEAKER_00]: God, what do you want me to learn from this?
23:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Or how do you want me to respond to this?
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: It gets the focus off of self-pity why this happening, because what does James say?
23:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when he face trauma,
24:02
[SPEAKER_00]: that the testing of your faith may develop perseverance and maturity.
24:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Because God doesn't tempt you, but God will test you to draw you close to Him.
24:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So when I have tough times, I'll preach the sermon just last week called Life in the Sand Trapped.
24:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And if I'm gonna set for the sand traps of life on the golf course, those can be learning experience.
24:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't waste a sorrow.
24:24
[SPEAKER_00]: learn from it.
24:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't waste a hard experience, learn from it.
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So it doesn't happen again and so that you can help others.
24:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So that's my goal is to ask God, what do you want me to learn?
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And how can I use this bad experience to help someone else?
24:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, because so much in the moment seems impossibly hard or inexplicable.
24:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I think about when we adopted JB,
24:49
[SPEAKER_01]: There are so many points in that where we thought that he would probably go back to his biological home, which would not have been, it would not have been a good thing for him by anyone's standards, not just ours as people who had had him two years and loved him.
25:01
[SPEAKER_01]: And I remember one particular day, I just prayed and prayed and I was like, Lord, in one instant, you could change how this is playing out.
25:09
[SPEAKER_01]: You could change the judges' mind.
25:11
[SPEAKER_01]: You could, um,
25:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Make the biological mom offer him for adoption that like in any but you won't do it Lord like what I don't understand And just going through that struggle of something like I'm not asking for like a personal thing This is like under any estimate.
25:26
[SPEAKER_01]: This is a god thing that you can do and and so it's right before Christmas when he was like two
25:32
[SPEAKER_01]: And this pastor, our friends pastor, I'd never met him in a church across town in Dallas.
25:38
[SPEAKER_01]: He asked if he came to our house and pray over us tonight before the big hearing that determined where this little boy was going to end up.
25:44
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was kind of like, okay, I mean, I don't know him, but if he had his church been praying for us.
25:49
[SPEAKER_01]: So he came over and he sat in front of our house.
25:51
[SPEAKER_01]: for probably 30 minutes and it was right for Christmas and you can imagine Rob like you know your house is decorated but you have this like sorry of like this child maybe going somewhere tomorrow this is the end of our relationship and this isn't good for him and so we wait finally for this pastor to come in and he circles this up.
26:08
[SPEAKER_01]: and I have tears in my eyes and he's like, I want to pray for y'all and he said, but before I pray, I just sat in front of your house and I waited for the Lord to give me a word and he said to me, we don't need to ask anymore for him to make this baby adoptable for y'all.
26:21
[SPEAKER_01]: He's already done it.
26:22
[SPEAKER_01]: We just need to celebrate it tonight.
26:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, imagine how I feel I'm standing there with my husband and I kids.
26:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, why hope he's not wrong when this hearing comes down tomorrow?
26:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, this is going to be something if the judge is like, no, he goes back.
26:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, how do you explain this to your kids?
26:37
[SPEAKER_01]: But he just had a PC.
26:38
[SPEAKER_01]: He had heard from the Lord.
26:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And you know, it's funny.
26:40
[SPEAKER_01]: We pray that night.
26:41
[SPEAKER_01]: And all we did was thank the Lord.
26:43
[SPEAKER_01]: This child was going to be ours before we knew that he was going to be ours.
26:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And the next day, the court called
26:48
[SPEAKER_01]: And they, or the CPS office called and said, you're not going to believe what happened.
26:53
[SPEAKER_01]: Against all odds, he's adoptable.
26:55
[SPEAKER_01]: You can adopt him now.
26:56
[SPEAKER_01]: And all I could say was like, no, I can't believe it.
27:00
[SPEAKER_01]: That's true.
27:00
[SPEAKER_01]: And I tell you that because I feel like there's so many places the Lord could have stopped the hard.
27:06
[SPEAKER_01]: He could have interjected himself.
27:07
[SPEAKER_01]: He could have made it where it played out in a much easier way.
27:11
[SPEAKER_01]: But he didn't.
27:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And at the very end, though, he brought in a person.
27:14
[SPEAKER_01]: We didn't even know.
27:16
[SPEAKER_01]: To kind of remind me of my husband probably two lawyers who are very caught up in the legal system side of it that listen I'm not subject to laws and principalities and judges like at the end of the day all needs bow to me and I was just reminded in those moments of silence I'm so glad he didn't do it earlier because it would have been easier to overlook the miracle but he did it at the very end and so what a gift that was and so
27:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, just to your point, I think, in the midst of the struggle, like, I just needed the Lord to speak into, like, where's the faith?
27:47
[SPEAKER_01]: You need to trust me.
27:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I have plans.
27:49
[SPEAKER_01]: It's not on your timeline, and there's so much that came from that.
27:51
[SPEAKER_01]: So just the encouragement for us, places for you where he's been silent or any other thoughts on that, on just encouragement when it feels like the Lord could do something and he doesn't.
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I just try to keep going that don't sometimes we want God to answer the way we want on our timetable and but God's God is on timetable and sometimes God says yes sometimes he says no sometimes he says wait
28:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And this is the waiting that I seem to grow the most and become more dependent on him.
28:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And when you look back, hindsight is 2020, you can see how God worked, even when you thought he didn't answer prayers.
28:28
[SPEAKER_00]: He didn't answer, he just didn't answer the timing in the way that I wanted.
28:32
[SPEAKER_00]: But that's faith, trusting, continuing to trust, even when he seems to be silent.
28:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
28:39
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, so I told you I was going to ask this question, but as we wrap up, my book title is How Do I Miss That?
28:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And I kind of go through just different areas of faith and marriage and parenting that I'm like, wow, that was really obvious.
28:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yet I still missed it.
28:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Any things you can point to as you just said, you're 65 looking back area or story area of your life, anything where you're like, man, how do I miss that?
29:04
[SPEAKER_00]: couldn't think of anything big.
29:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I just got, God, we're not, you mentioned, you don't how God does things.
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So many times in life, I used to play the, if I were God, if I were God, I would do this.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: If I were God, you know, my child would be adoptable.
29:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And because it makes perfect sense, if I do
29:23
[SPEAKER_00]: A, B, and C, the result must be D. We think that way, we're their children.
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: And we think if we do everything right, then they must turn out perfect, or they must turn out here.
29:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think God sometimes reminds us that life doesn't always turn out the way we want, or the way we plan, and good parents can have
29:44
[SPEAKER_00]: He'll perform a kid, bad parents can have great kids, and God's got a reason for it all.
29:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So what I've learned to do is that sometimes I'm glad I'm not God, everybody's glad I'm not God, because if I were God, it'd be a mess.
29:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But learn to just trust, trust, proper three, five, and six, trust in the Lord, and lean out on my own understanding, on all my ways, acknowledge him, and he directs my paths.
30:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Mmm, I love that.
30:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, thank you for one.
30:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you first and foremost for still speaking to me after apparently had high demands back in my eighth and ninth and tenth grade years.
30:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Did we miss anything else you wanted to talk about?
30:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Any stories about me and a youth grade, youth group, things we've missed.
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Now, I love the fact that in your book, you mentioned, I wasn't going to go through a count, how many times you mentioned that you were the unathletic one in your family.
30:34
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, because I do remember as a youth pastor of a team, a school that had like,
30:42
[SPEAKER_00]: nine high schools I had to go to all the marching band performances and the stadiums and wait all day long for the marching for the band and all the graduations and our member going to all the marching band of your high school many times and seeing that with great memories, great memories, El Paso and I've got great memories of the church, of your family and all the people in the youth group there that were formative for me
31:12
[SPEAKER_01]: That's amazing.
31:13
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I appreciate it.
31:15
[SPEAKER_01]: You put up with a lot.
31:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I remember it and I love that I could reach out and just be like, hey, you want to do this and we could chat about the things and and I just have this encouragement to someone someone will sing to and you have your kids and whatever it looks like a youth group or whatever these things even when they don't want to go even when they have an attitude even when maybe they're the the strong I call myself a strong leader versus a trouble maker Rob.
31:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you very much
31:38
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know what?
31:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the Lord is planting those seeds in there and their lives and I'm just thankful for that mine And so thanks for coming back and being on the podcast Rob and and listen I'll hit you up in another 10 years where 75 and get some more wisdom how's that?
31:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Great talk to you Cynthia blessing don't your book and So I loved it a great I love the boy way they put they didn't take your voice out of them That your voice is in your writing and that's a very compliment for writer No, thank you for that all right Rob take care.
32:06
[SPEAKER_00]: We appreciate you.
32:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, bye bye
32:09
[SPEAKER_01]: All right, a big thanks to Rob for coming on and I'm not going to thank him for some of those stories you shared, but nonetheless here we are everybody.
32:17
[SPEAKER_01]: We're just keeping it real and authentic.
32:19
[SPEAKER_01]: And so again, how do I miss that out on February 3rd, grab your copy and we will have a few more fun episodes.
32:28
[SPEAKER_01]: coming your way, related to this, and we are also going to start working back in other guests, other topics I'm so excited, so just keep coming back.
32:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So thankful for you guys, thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family.