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Emotional Blackmail Isn’t Love: Choose Safety, Choose Truth · A Capture Deep Vibs A Positive Space For Inspiration And Embracing Of Heart

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Imagine this, you're on the phone with a friend. They've
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  Speaker 1: made you angry and in your fight, you told them
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  Speaker 1: that you want to be left alone for a bit.
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  Speaker 1: You say they aren't allowed to come to your house
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  Speaker 1: until further notice and that's when the dam breaks. They
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  Speaker 1: tell you that if you don't let them come over,
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  Speaker 1: they'll drive their car over a cliff. You don't want
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  Speaker 1: to be the reason they do something like that, so
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  Speaker 1: you agree to allow them to come over. The scenario
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  Speaker 1: above is an example of emotional blackmail and is in
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  Speaker 1: fact a form of abuse. At Psych2Go, we hope to
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  Speaker 1: bring light to a form of emotional abuse many don't
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  Speaker 1: even know exists. If you notice similarities to the above
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  Speaker 1: scenario or any of the points in this video, please
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  Speaker 1: speak with a licensed mental health professional. Here are four
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  Speaker 1: ways to tell what emotional blackmail is. 1. Understanding what
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  Speaker 1: emotional blackmail really is. Emotional blackmail, as described by Susan Forward, PhD,
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  Speaker 1: in her book Emotional Blackmail, when people in your life
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  Speaker 1: use fear, obligation, and guilt to manipulate you. Emotional blackmail
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  Speaker 1: is a tactic used by abusers to threaten you to
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  Speaker 1: get what they want. The point is to make you
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  Speaker 1: feel fear, obligation, or guilt, or FOG, so they can
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  Speaker 1: have things go their way. This may be something as
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  Speaker 1: simple as throwing a fit or going as far as
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  Speaker 1: threatening to go back to drug use if they can't
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  Speaker 1: see someone or be somewhere they want to be. The
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  Speaker 1: whole point is to refuse to take responsibility for their
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  Speaker 1: own actions and instead blame others for their bad decisions. 2.
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  Speaker 1: Knowing what constitutes an emotional hostage situation By the definition above,
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  Speaker 1: it could be easy to assume that all children take
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  Speaker 1: their parents hostage emotionally. In R. Skip Johnson's article, Emotional Blackmail, Fear, Obligation,
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  Speaker 1: and Guilt, Johnson points out that using the term blackmail
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  Speaker 1: means that there is forethought from the individual. A child
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  Speaker 1: throwing a tantrum in the store to get a toy
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  Speaker 1: isn't necessarily emotional blackmail as they are merely subject-driven and
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  Speaker 1: have no concept of the manipulation factor. A teenager exploding
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  Speaker 1: emotionally over not being able to borrow the car, then
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  Speaker 1: running off to their room with a knife, is an
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  Speaker 1: emotional hostage situation. They want to get something and will
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  Speaker 1: make it appear that they will injure themselves to get it.
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  Speaker 1: By knowing where your emotional boundaries are, you will be
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  Speaker 1: able to tell when someone oversteps them. In the early
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  Speaker 1: stages of this form of abuse, you might not even
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  Speaker 1: register that something's wrong. You may just assume that the
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  Speaker 1: other person gets carried away at times. As time goes on,
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  Speaker 1: you might start to feel like the other person places
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  Speaker 1: you between a rock and a hard place. Either option
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  Speaker 1: you have is a bad one, but you tend to
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  Speaker 1: favor those that are the lesser of the two evils.
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  Speaker 1: This is emotional manipulation at its finest. What you want
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  Speaker 1: isn't important. It's about what the other person can do
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  Speaker 1: to elicit the emotional response that they want. 4. You
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  Speaker 1: are where their feelings lie. Someone who holds you hostage
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  Speaker 1: emotionally will hold you accountable for their feelings. This may
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  Speaker 1: take the form of a significant other stating that a
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  Speaker 1: breakup from you would cause them to commit suicide. You
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  Speaker 1: might see this as them being so in love with
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  Speaker 1: you that they would rather die without you. That isn't
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  Speaker 1: the case. They are manipulating you to get what they want.
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  Speaker 1: The point is to hold you accountable for the feeling
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  Speaker 1: of sadness that would follow a breakup. They may be
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  Speaker 1: feeling anxious about the relationship, but instead of facing those
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  Speaker 1: fears head on, they force you to carry them. Understanding
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  Speaker 1: what being held hostage emotionally and emotional blackmail really means
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  Speaker 1: is a great start. But remember, just because someone makes
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  Speaker 1: you feel guilty for something doesn't necessarily mean they are
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  Speaker 1: manipulating you. It all has to do with the present
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  Speaker 1: situation and past experiences. Have you been in a situation
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  Speaker 1: of emotional blackmail before? If you'd like, please share your
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  Speaker 1: story with us in the comments below. Also, if you
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: thought this video was helpful, please give this video a
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: like and don't forget to subscribe for more content. Thanks
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  Speaker 1: for watching.