Latest / The BIG LIFE / The BIG LIFE S5E6 | Two ACL Tears, One Incredible Comeback with Peyton Nakagawara

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The BIG LIFE S5E6 | Two ACL Tears, One Incredible Comeback with Peyton Nakagawara · The BIG LIFE

• 0:01
  Welcome back to another episode of the Big Life Podcast.
• 0:04
  It's now week six and we start conference play this week.
• 0:07
  Today we're going to be recapping our week, talking about feelings regarding
• 0:10
  conference play starting, goals for the week, how injuries have affected us,
• 0:14
  and we'll also have my teammate and close friend Peyton Nakagawara bring us
• 0:18
  through her soccer journey despite her injuries.
• 0:21
  To start, let's do what we've been doing and do a little check-in.
• 0:24
  So So if you had to describe this past week in one word, what would it be?
• 0:29
  Momentum. I would say momentum because we're just building momentum going forward.
• 0:35
  I think our margin of error gets smaller every single game. Like,
• 0:39
  obviously, we started here and it's going and it's going down.
• 0:41
  So I think that's only going to
• 0:43
  get us moving in the right direction for conference play starting. Mm-hmm.
• 0:48
  I don't have, like, a word, but I would say, like, this is, like, a phrase, I guess.
• 0:52
  It's, like, a bump in the road. We have our first loss of the season,
• 0:56
  but I don't think it's, like, a roadblock.
• 0:59
  I don't think, like, it's going to stop us or anything. It's just,
• 1:01
  like, a little bump in the road that's, like, kind of, like,
• 1:04
  messed up our journey a little bit. But, like, at the end of the day,
• 1:07
  we're going to keep going. Yeah.
• 1:09
  Also, I don't think you want it to go super, super perfect.
• 1:12
  Yeah. I mean, if you think about it, like last year, Stanford,
• 1:15
  they lost one game in the regular season and they made it all the way.
• 1:19
  They weren't perfect either. And they're pretty, pretty good.
• 1:22
  Yeah. It's also good. Like you want to learn a little bit about your team if
• 1:24
  you struggle a little bit. So that's good. Also, do you want to do Rose Bud Thorne?
• 1:30
  You go first. Okay. Rose, I finally scored. Finally.
• 1:35
  And then Bud, just these, just conference play starting. Like these are games
• 1:40
  that obviously every game mattered before, but like, These games are actually
• 1:43
  going to matter towards like winning league, conference tournament,
• 1:46
  your seeding, and then obviously NCAA tournament.
• 1:48
  For me, Thorne, obviously we lost our first game. It's just tough that that was the result.
• 1:53
  But my rose was that was probably my best game of the season individually.
• 1:57
  I'll just continue to keep getting better and playing my game,
• 2:01
  and I'm excited for that.
• 2:03
  And my bud is at conference play starting two, and our first two conference
• 2:07
  games are Auburn and Arkansas.
• 2:10
  Auburn's like crosstown rivalry? Yeah, and then Arkansas is just like...
• 2:14
  A good team, yeah. Aggressive team. Yeah. Okay, what's your sound? Probably like, eh.
• 2:20
  Kind of crazy because despite scoring, I just didn't have a good rest of the
• 2:24
  week. Like, it just wasn't...
• 2:26
  But we're a new week starting, so...
• 2:29
  Yeah what about you mine's like.
• 2:34
  You know because it's like it's just like a big sigh because i'm like darn it
• 2:37
  like i did good but like we didn't win you know yeah it sucks when you don't
• 2:41
  get the result and it's like did you guys play well at least like,
• 2:45
  oh my gosh we were killing them the first 20 minutes and then we got the red
• 2:48
  card give us a little insight to your game like how all of that went okay let's go to the
• 2:53
  play by play first 10 minutes we are flying like they don't know what to do
• 2:58
  they've never been like pressed by a team like us they've never had to play,
• 3:02
  like not not never but like this season yet like we're going in we're hitting
• 3:07
  them we're making it hard
• 3:08
  and we should have scored so much more in those first 20 minutes and I think
• 3:12
  that is a little bit of a drawback that our team needs to work on is putting
• 3:17
  away our chances more often we make so many good chances,
• 3:22
  and props to the forwards for getting the ones that we do get in but I do think
• 3:27
  we can still continue to get more in and when we play those big teams,
• 3:31
  and we get those chances in those moments are like the game deciding factors
• 3:36
  and yeah you didn't score those all of them we had two obviously.
• 3:40
  We were ahead, and we were playing very well, and then one of my teammates got
• 3:44
  a red card on a tackle, and it kind of threw off our whole momentum.
• 3:48
  And, I mean, Harvard still had very good opportunities within the 20 minutes,
• 3:53
  and, like, I had to come in and make a couple really big saves,
• 3:57
  and, like, some other people on my team made big saves.
• 4:00
  That just kind of threw off the whole game, and, I mean, the game ended up being 6-4.
• 4:04
  Like, that's crazy. A lot of goals. 10 goals in a game is crazy.
• 4:09
  Yeah. And then there also was a lightning delay right in the beginning of the
• 4:13
  second half. So we went like 10 minutes in the second half and there was a lightning
• 4:17
  delay and we had to wait an hour and a half to play.
• 4:20
  Yeah, that's low key. Just throws off momentum. I don't think I've ever been in a lightning delay.
• 4:24
  My game, we played number one freaking Stanford. We obviously tied 2-2.
• 4:30
  We had them like we should have won the game, but we didn't.
• 4:34
  Like they scored in the last three minutes. So props to them.
• 4:36
  Also the girl that scored in the last three minutes was crack she was hella
• 4:41
  like she was a unit bro but yeah good good game I think like.
• 4:44
  Low-key we felt the same like we were low-key flying like our whole team was
• 4:48
  there we traveled everyone traveled
• 4:49
  so the bench energy was just insane and it felt good obviously I went in a little
• 4:54
  later than usual so was kind of thrown off a little bit there but I ended up
• 4:58
  freaking scoring some somehow
• 5:01
  I brought my ratio down to one for one and then we go into second half
• 5:05
  and we score pretty early like 10 minutes and I think we scored 2-1 the way
• 5:09
  the game was going and the momentum was all in our favor like
• 5:12
  we possessed the ball we came out really strong like from everyone the staff
• 5:16
  everyone poured into that's how we got the results because everybody poured
• 5:19
  into each and every one on the field so
• 5:22
  but yeah it was good and then they tied and then it was like damn but.
• 5:25
  We got what we wanted, which was a good result against a very good team.
• 5:29
  Yeah, no, for sure. Was it frustrating for you not being in and feeling like
• 5:34
  maybe you could be the deciding factor and help? Yes.
• 5:38
  I haven't been on the bench like that in a minute.
• 5:41
  And obviously, I respect everything the coaches do.
• 5:44
  That's their decision, and I can't change anything. But I know my talent and what I can do.
• 5:49
  You can't let the coaches' decisions and just external factors affect how you
• 5:54
  are going to go into the game and change it so last year I made that let that affect me a lot,
• 5:59
  would not like in the BIS season I was playing a lot and then towards the end
• 6:02
  I wasn't getting as much time and I got it in my head oh I need to do I need
• 6:06
  to show this and this that I can do this and this even though I know I'm already
• 6:09
  a good player the biggest part is
• 6:11
  not letting it get to your head and just knowing that you're a good player
• 6:14
  at the end of the day it's like you can't let those decisions affect how you
• 6:19
  see yourself because obviously you know what type of player you are um you know,
• 6:23
  offer and stuff so but I think it was good like it was I obviously I scored
• 6:28
  I was not happy after the game like I was like oh like friends and stuff after
• 6:32
  because I go to see some of my friends on the other team but the next day I
• 6:35
  definitely was like all right,
• 6:37
  not funny definitely a learning experience well on to the next week who do you guys have coming up.
• 6:44
  So we play Auburn Friday. That's like our rivalry game. And we're playing,
• 6:48
  it's like called the Iron Bowl. And we basically play for a trophy.
• 6:51
  And we won last year. And oh my gosh, it was insane last year when we played
• 6:55
  them. And so hopefully this Friday, we get to bring it back home again. So that'll be fun.
• 6:59
  I'm replaying. We play Michigan State and Purdue.
• 7:01
  Last year didn't go so well. I actually started that game and got injured in
• 7:04
  the span of five minutes.
• 7:06
  But yeah, we're excited. And then also like seeing my friends that play on those
• 7:10
  teams again. Like, you know, when you see your teammates from club or wherever
• 7:14
  national team, it's always relieving to see like other people and their faces again.
• 7:18
  Which conference game are you like most excited to play out of all of them?
• 7:22
  That's a good question. They're all really good teams. Like the Big Ten's a
• 7:26
  good conference. But I'm honestly, I'm kind of excited to play Ohio State.
• 7:32
  When we went to Oregon and I got to just look at the football.
• 7:35
  I'm a big football fan. When I got to look at the football stadium right there,
• 7:38
  I was like, yo, this is great. So I'm excited to go to Ohio to see the stadium.
• 7:42
  What game are you most excited for?
• 7:44
  Arkansas so in two weeks props to them they are really good at playing direct,
• 7:53
  but I absolutely hate direct style of soccer but they're all so athletic that
• 7:59
  it works and they do it so well okay okay goals for next week you know or this coming week,
• 8:05
  I want to score again obviously I think I need to be confident in my ball striking
• 8:10
  because that is also what I'm very good at well my goal one of my goals is I want to score two I,
• 8:18
  so close I want to get an assist on a corner I had so many corners yesterday
• 8:22
  and we were so close and they were all so good but I also want to work on like
• 8:28
  being more of a leader on the field and like using my voice and,
• 8:33
  and kind of being more instructive like
• 8:36
  I do use my voice but like I don't I don't do it a lot like there There are
• 8:41
  times where I feel like I need to step into that role and just,
• 8:44
  like, when our team needs that person to step up,
• 8:49
  like, someone has to do it, and I feel like I just need to have the confidence to do that, you know?
• 8:54
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, especially knowing, like, you can be that person for the team.
• 9:00
  It's just, like, reps, you need to see yourself do it.
• 9:03
  Yeah, what do you think that, like, your team kind of needs to improve before
• 9:07
  the next game? Like, what's one big thing? the final third, I think.
• 9:12
  We build well, but it doesn't matter if you don't score goals.
• 9:15
  Like, I think we defend well. I would say just the final third,
• 9:18
  like, we're never going to win a game if we don't score.
• 9:20
  One thing about that I think we can improve on is, like, being decisive of where we want to go.
• 9:25
  Like, for me, when I face up at a back line, I know what the hell I'm doing.
• 9:28
  But I think sometimes girls on our team don't necessarily know what the next step is for them.
• 9:35
  Anything under 100% of you not knowing what you're going to do is like,
• 9:38
  all right, what are you going to get out of it?
• 9:40
  Nothing. Like, whatever you put in is what you're going to get out.
• 9:42
  So, like, 75% effort of your decisiveness. Like, if you're not decisive where
• 9:46
  you want to go, you're never going to get anything out of it.
• 9:48
  So, yeah. What about you guys?
• 9:50
  Composure. Like, we weren't helping ourselves in the way we were yelling at the ref.
• 9:55
  Because even though, yes, the ref maybe was making pretty bad calls,
• 9:58
  it didn't help us, like, being all aggressive. Like, oh, like,
• 10:01
  what the F are you doing? Like, yada, yada.
• 10:04
  And then, obviously, like, composure on not going in on that tackle and getting
• 10:07
  a red card. When I think of composure, it's like.
• 10:11
  Placing the ball instead of power shotting the ball. That was my first thought.
• 10:14
  So when you talk about composure in that aspect, I do definitely think that,
• 10:18
  that is a great way to get a good scope on composure alone, especially with your guys' conference.
• 10:24
  And now we're excited to have another guest join the Big Life podcast.
• 10:28
  Today, we have my friend and teammate Peyton Nakagawara joining us.
• 10:33
  And after battling through two ACL tears and years of rehab,
• 10:36
  she's finally back on the pitch and just scored against Stanford and only her
• 10:39
  third game back. So we're talking about her journey, the comeback,
• 10:42
  and everything she's learned along the way. Hi, it's so good to be here.
• 10:46
  Okay, so to get started, we're going to talk about growing up and your journey to USC.
• 10:50
  So essentially who Payton was before the entry. So growing up in Seattle playing
• 10:55
  ECNL, when did you realize that you wanted to play college soccer?
• 10:58
  I think I kind of realized in like the end of middle school that I was like
• 11:03
  good enough to play like I think when I was growing up it was kind of just something I was
• 11:08
  pretty good at and something that I enjoyed but I didn't really think it was
• 11:11
  going to take me anywhere until like I started getting like invited to more like events and like
• 11:18
  getting more exposure through ECNL and like that kind of helped me realize that
• 11:22
  I could actually go somewhere with it.
• 11:24
  That was kind of the same thing for me when you're growing up at first like
• 11:28
  you're like oh like am I good you know and then like there's like always that
• 11:31
  little turning point that you're like oh low-key I am kind of good.
• 11:34
  What was the recruiting process like for you and why did you end up choosing USC?
• 11:38
  For me it was stressful. Not a lot of people around me were like going through
• 11:43
  the same things. I feel like I had a lot of stress on myself.
• 11:46
  My friends at home and at school didn't really realize what I was like trying to do.
• 11:50
  I think for me the biggest thing was I wanted to go to a big school that had.
• 11:56
  Good academics but also like had a lot of resources for their athletes and USC
• 12:01
  was just like ideal for that.
• 12:03
  Did you have any other like any other schools that you were between?
• 12:06
  Like yes but also like once I came on my visit here I was like this is kind
• 12:11
  of where I want to be. Yeah who doesn't want to be here?
• 12:14
  Well you talk about academics so what are you majoring in? Tell them a little
• 12:18
  bit about your academic? I'm a human biology major and I'm on like a pre-med
• 12:24
  track so I eventually want to go to med school.
• 12:27
  Coming into college what did you imagine your college career is going to look
• 12:31
  like when you first got here coming out of high school?
• 12:33
  Honestly I had like no expectations like I just was like I'm gonna just like work as hard as I can.
• 12:41
  Obviously prior to my injury I was like I'm just gonna work as hard as I can
• 12:44
  once I get in here like you can only really control your effort and as long
• 12:47
  as you're giving it your all like you can be proud of that that's kind of just like my mindset.
• 12:52
  I wasn't really expecting much but I just like how can I be the best teammate
• 12:55
  possible and like how can I give this program like everything I could I mean
• 12:59
  obviously you've gone through two ACL,
• 13:02
  injuries and there's such like a mental part of being injured and especially doing that same injury,
• 13:10
  and having to go through the whole entire thing twice like take us back to like
• 13:15
  your first ACL injury like what
• 13:17
  went through your head like that first time when you found out the first time
• 13:20
  I found out it was like February of my senior year we had just come on like
• 13:25
  a visit as our whole class,
• 13:27
  and it was like two weeks after that I found out and I think I was just like
• 13:31
  kind of in shock but also just like stressed like I didn't know what the fall
• 13:36
  was really gonna hold for me like especially coming to a new place but then also being
• 13:41
  in a different position than the rest of my teammates because I'm coming in and I can't,
• 13:45
  do the summer practices because I wasn't running yet when I got here and.
• 13:49
  I was on a different schedule than them. I was having to do rehab while they
• 13:52
  were at like captain's practices and stuff like that. So like,
• 13:56
  I think I was just a little bit worried about what that was going to look like.
• 13:59
  And then you tear the other one. What was, which one was harder?
• 14:04
  After going through it twice, the first one was a lot easier than the second one.
• 14:07
  I think the hard part for me was that the second one happened at the very end
• 14:12
  of spring season. So I'd played the whole spring season.
• 14:15
  I felt great. I was getting a lot of minutes. I was doing well.
• 14:19
  And then literally the last like 10 minutes of our last spring game it happened again,
• 14:23
  and I think I was just kind of like devastated because it was like everything was going so well,
• 14:28
  and then that happened and like I knew what it meant again and I just knew like
• 14:33
  I was going to be out another season I just think there's so much anticipation
• 14:37
  for me like I just wanted to play in a fall season so bad
• 14:41
  and I was almost there and then it kind of just got like taken away from me.
• 14:45
  And so I think that was just like mentally just really defeating and frustrating.
• 14:49
  Obviously now like it really like toughened me up, but it was not fun.
• 14:54
  Which one for you was like harder? Was it the physical side or the mental side?
• 14:58
  I think it's the mental side because I think physically like it's challenging.
• 15:02
  It's very challenging, but it's not like I think it's more challenging because
• 15:06
  you're just having to do so much like you have to do rehab and then you have
• 15:09
  to do lifts and you have to do running and all that stuff.
• 15:11
  But I think the mental side is harder because it's like if you don't feel confident
• 15:15
  in your need like you don't feel confident to do what you like want to do the
• 15:19
  physical component of it is like you feel yourself working so hard
• 15:23
  and sometimes you just don't see the progress and that really messes with your
• 15:27
  like mental side was there ever like a moment.
• 15:30
  Where you question if you'd actually make it back I guess how strong I came
• 15:34
  back after my first one seeing what I can do after one surgery Like,
• 15:39
  I feel like it didn't really scare me.
• 15:40
  Like, I saw what I was capable of, like, doing even with that injury.
• 15:45
  I think that just kept me going. Like, and I think I just wanted to play so bad.
• 15:51
  What did they teach you about yourself outside of soccer?
• 15:54
  I learned how to, like, pour into, like, other things. As much as it sucked
• 15:58
  to, like, not be able to travel, not be able to play, I got,
• 16:03
  like, more focused on, like, my school.
• 16:05
  Like I spent a lot more time like just focusing on school talking about you
• 16:10
  pouring into your academics you're obviously this is your freshman season soccer
• 16:14
  wise but you're academically.
• 16:17
  A junior does that ever feel like you're living two completely different college
• 16:22
  timelines I feel like yeah this is like technically my freshman season but at
• 16:27
  the same time like there is an amount of like,
• 16:31
  experience that I've like gained just like.
• 16:34
  Being here for two years, the experience of like just like being around everyone
• 16:39
  during two actual seasons, like I think that makes me feel like a little bit,
• 16:43
  not older, but like it doesn't make me feel like this is like this is my freshman season.
• 16:48
  With the new eligibility rules, how does having potentially more soccer ahead
• 16:53
  of you affect the way you're thinking about your future with like what you want
• 16:56
  to do, just graduating in general?
• 16:58
  Technically, I'm still on like
• 17:00
  the old rules. So I'll have like four full seasons, including this one.
• 17:04
  I'm not in any rush really to like enter adulthood I'm kind of just like I want
• 17:08
  to play soccer for as long as I can like whatever however long like that's fine
• 17:13
  with me and like med school and all those things will always be there but
• 17:17
  soccer at some point like I'm physically not really going to be able to keep up or do it anymore
• 17:22
  I'm just gonna take it as far as it'll,
• 17:24
  let me but now that you're back playing obviously like,
• 17:28
  like how has it been your third game back you scored against stanford and like
• 17:31
  just take us through like how you felt like in that moment coming back and scoring i,
• 17:36
  had like i found out i was like starting which was like exciting in itself and
• 17:40
  i was just kind of like i'm just gonna give it all i got when i went back in
• 17:44
  in the second half it was just kind of like,
• 17:47
  i saw the ball coming to me i was like okay i just gotta take a shot and then,
• 17:51
  i kind of like i like didn't see it really go in.
• 17:57
  Like it's like there's a defender in front of me so I was like I just kind of
• 18:00
  saw like the net like ripple and I was like oh my god like.
• 18:05
  She was like oh my gosh and then everyone started screaming and I was like,
• 18:09
  kind of just in shock but it was like it was really cool sorry sorry if you
• 18:13
  talked to Peyton sitting in rehab two and a half years ago what would you tell her now like,
• 18:20
  that it's all gonna work out I still felt like confident in myself I guess and
• 18:24
  knowing what I can do, I think I'd just tell her, like, it's all going to work out.
• 18:28
  For young girls listening who, like, just tore their ACLs, like,
• 18:31
  and feels like her soccer dream might be over, like, what would you want her
• 18:34
  to hear? Like, what should she be thinking?
• 18:37
  Especially with rehab, like, whatever you pour into it is, like,
• 18:39
  what you'll get out of it. So if you take every day seriously,
• 18:41
  like, you'll get something, like, you'll learn something about yourself.
• 18:46
  You'll come back stronger.
• 18:47
  I think the thing I just told myself is, like, everything happens for a reason.
• 18:50
  Like, this was meant to happen for some reason, like, whether I like it or not.
• 18:55
  And it's going to teach me something, like, down the line. It's going to help
• 18:59
  me just grow as a person. So, like, I think that's kind of, like, my message.
• 19:05
  Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's Big Life episode.
• 19:08
  Make sure to follow Girls Soccer Network on Instagram for more content.
• 19:11
  You can find me on TikTok and Instagram at pagethompson underscore 30.
• 19:15
  And we will see you guys next week.
• 19:17
  Yes, you can also find me at jadenrodriguez.7 on every single platform as well.
• 19:23
  And thank you guys for joining us make sure you stay tuned for both of our games
• 19:27
  as we start conference play and yeah we'll see you guys next week thanks for joining.