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From hustling to healing- how a work trip changed my life · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

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  Music.
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  All right, y'all. If you follow me on social, then you have noticed that I have
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  gone to Austin, Texas twice now this year for a marketing retreat.
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  You have probably also noticed that I'm like heavily talking about how it's life changing.
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  These retreats have radically changed my life in a way that I was not expecting,
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  in a way that I've been like navigating all of 2025 and now I just decided to
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  share a little bit about that experience for me thus far today.
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  So this one's a little bit, this one's going to be a little less preachy,
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  I guess, and just a little more like real life, like glimpse into like my world
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  and like my personal struggles and just like things that I have going on, you know?
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  So I will say, okay, so let's start by we all know that I have anxiety.
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  I mean, I think I'm very transparent about that.
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  I think I am clear about that. But we also all know that I work really,
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  really hard to manage it, right?
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  Like, it's not like I walk around loving the fact that I have anxiety.
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  I legit, it's like the biggest thorn for me, you know what I mean?
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  And so I am, you know, I would say I am so much better, Even before what all
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  I'm about to talk about, like I'm so much better now than I was,
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  you know, three years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago.
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  And my husband would tell you that. I think my family would tell you that, right?
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  But, you know, even still, it's like,
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  it is who I am. Like, I hate to say that because we know anxiety is a sin and all that.
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  But like, maybe not anxiety as much as like urgency.
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  And I easily get overwhelmed. And I do like, at first, I used to feel really
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  shameful about this and guilty about this.
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  But now, you know, really, the Enneagram kind of showed me that like,
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  we all have habits and tendencies, right
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  but like we can take it to
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  the positive extreme or to the negative extreme so while I can
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  be like so urgent so overwhelmed so like snippy
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  when I need things to like work out exactly how I want them to I also know that
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  that same energy is what allows me to bring such passion here for you right
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  and for my clients I also know that like that depth that I have of like caring You know,
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  sometimes I'm freaking out because I want everything to go the exact way I want
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  it because I care so much.
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  But also, like, it helps me with, like, my empathy with my clients.
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  Like, they truly feel like I'm in it with them, right?
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  And it also helps my kids. I feel like my kids believe that I can see them, that I understand them.
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  You know, now when they're teenagers, call me and see if I still believe that. But, you know, I do.
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  So I see both sides of the coin, I guess, is what I'm saying.
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  But even still, I'm constantly navigating this issue, which is why I'm beginning here.
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  So I will say that by the end of 2024, I was at my breaking point.
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  Y'all, the holidays. Okay, because I want everything perfect.
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  Because I want the magic. like and
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  I am very aware my kids are only little for so long and like it can only be
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  magical for so many years and you know also like I want to keep our family traditions
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  and like you know we were hosting family over here and I was y'all I love Christmas
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  decorations so much and it's,
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  ridiculous, the level that I go to over here. So it was just a lot, right?
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  And so, oh, and, and this is the biggest and, I cannot stand to spend $1 more than I have to.
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  Meaning when I am Christmas gift shopping, I am constantly comparing prices
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  of the things that I plan to purchase.
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  And so that was so time-consuming like
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  my gosh I started in early November like
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  working on my kids lists or whatever but like I
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  would hold out on things till like mid-December and
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  Jess is like will you please just check out you know what I mean like and so
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  that kind of stuff it's just like little stuff right it's not like any traumatic
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  things it was just I had spun myself out okay and not to mention was also preparing
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  for January in the business,
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  which is like, you know, one of the biggest months of the year,
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  obviously, for us. And so there's a lot of work to be done.
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  There's a lot of, you know, kids activities going on at the same time,
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  like either my kids are out of school, or we've got 500 Christmas parties,
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  or here, let's do this volunteer project, or let's, you know, dress them up for this.
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  Like it was just constantly mom going up to the school in the few hours of the
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  day that I had to work instead of mom being at home to work.
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  Anyway, all that to say, lots of whining, but all that to say,
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  I kind of hit it around mid-December. I was just like, I am spent.
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  I am exhausted. I was so ugly to Jess some days because I just felt like a lot
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  of Christmas does fall on the mom.
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  You know, a lot of it does. And especially us, because like my family.
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  We just make Christmas such a big ordeal.
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  And Jess is kind of like, why can't we just go get some gift bars and hand them
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  out and you know, whatever.
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  Pick up a pie instead of make your mama's recipe from scratch.
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  Like, why can't you do that? You know what I mean?
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  And I'm like, because it wouldn't be Christmas, you know.
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  So hit that break in point. And then I had some health issues.
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  And I'm not going to get into that here just because I feel like it does deserve its own podcast.
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  And honestly, I'm not really like ready to talk about it. Like I'm not as far
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  out as I want to be to like really talk about it and be able to be,
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  completely like on the other side of it because I still am navigating just like
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  some anxiety and some symptoms and stuff still.
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  But nothing terrible, right? Just like things. When you're approaching 40,
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  like things happen, right?
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  And so lots of doctor's visits, kind of some scares or whatever.
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  So anyway, all this. Okay, all this was hitting me. Now, let's pause because
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  we're talking about Austin, Texas, right?
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  So prior to this, back in November, or maybe it was early, it was October.
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  It was before I kind of had felt like, oh my gosh, I'm about to explode. So it had to be October.
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  I got hit with a Facebook ad, y'all. I mean, I'm talking about this marketing
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  works and it was for a marketing program just to help you like learn the ins and outs of marketing.
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  And up until this point, I've kind of been doing it myself. I will contract
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  out with people for certain things.
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  But like marketing is the hardest thing for me to grasp because I hate it. Like I just hate it.
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  I hate to feel like cringy and like, you know, let me perfectly craft this email
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  or this post or whatever to make you, you know, and then let me put it in a
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  way that like, you know, you want to convert and, you know, whatever.
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  And so it's just not my cup of tea. And so, but, and so I do,
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  oh, long-term plans, baby.
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  I plan to hire somebody for that, you know, in the future.
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  But I also know that for anything inside my business, if I want it to reflect
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  me in the way that I need it to reflect me, I have to do it first.
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  Like, I have to know the ins and outs of it first, right? Like, we are sweet, Stacey.
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  Like, she is, if you're a client, you know, she is our everything,
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  right? She helps so much in the back end. She's always in our community.
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  She's always in the box. Like, she is, oh my gosh, I can't do it without her, right?
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  But I had to establish the things I needed her to do and the tone that I needed
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  her to know that we have around here.
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  You know, like all that I had to establish at first. And so that means I have to know it.
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  I have to know what I want her to say and what I want to say and how I want
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  our back end to run and how I want our inbox to be done.
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  And so it's the same with marketing, right? I cannot trust some cringy person
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  out here to run my marketing when I'm not going to.
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  Like don't fully comprehend. So anyway, I jumped in on this program that promised
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  to like really teach marketing inside and out and help you kind of make it your own.
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  So huge investment, jumped in and did it.
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  I even ran it by Jess because like, y'all, I will spend money on something.
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  It's crazy, right? Like I nickel and dime Christmas presents,
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  but I will spend money on any kind of business promises so fast.
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  And I think I've talked about that here.
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  And Jess was in on it. So I was in this marketing program.
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  It's called Embodied Marketing and noticed some emails coming through about a retreat in January.
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  Marketing retreat. It was more like it. It was always it was always defined as marketing retreat.
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  But sometimes like the bullet points, like the information about it was kind
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  of like growth to like personal growth and business growth and all the things.
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  And so here's a true story.
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  In all my years of business, this is one of the things that Like I've learned
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  like, oh my gosh, Constance, what in all my years of business,
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  I've never really done anything like that.
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  Like I've never really gone to any kind of business or future.
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  I've joined like webinars or Zoom calls or like, you know, I was invited to
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  a dairy like influencer kind of thing a couple of years back,
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  like that kind of stuff I have done.
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  But as far as saying, like, I'm going to carve out three days or whatever and
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  go and work on my business without the noise, without, you know, just, you know,
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  to be a creator, which is to be an entrepreneur in my space,
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  to be a creator, you have got to cut the noise.
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  And so I had not been doing that the way I needed to do it.
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  So it just kept coming through. And I kept thinking, I should do that.
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  But then I was like, no, I shouldn't.
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  Like, no, I shouldn't. You know what I mean? Like, I had every excuse in the
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  world, down to, you know, financial down to time, because my kids were going
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  to be back in school when it started.
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  And, you know, Jess usually ramps up in January as far as his travel for work.
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  Like, I just had it all, all the excuses.
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  But I could not shake it, y'all. And it was as if I felt the Lord,
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  like, saying, you have got to go. Like, you've got to do this. Okay.
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  And so I did it. I signed up just like on a whim. I signed up.
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  And that was earlier. That was like in November-ish, maybe.
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  And so kind of let it go by the wayside, right? and so much so that I waited
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  too long to even get my plane ticket.
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  I paid more for a plane ticket than I probably should have.
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  Hotel, same thing. Like I just was, I was putting it off till the last minute
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  and kind of still trying to talk myself out of it.
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  I'm like, okay, well, so if the ticket went to waste, that's better than,
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  you know, a plane and hotel fee as well going to waste, like all the things.
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  And this is the this is the kicker thing, right?
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  I emailed and asked for an agenda because I had not seen an agenda.
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  You know, I'm a dietitian and everything we do as a dietitian,
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  we get credits and we have an agenda.
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  I know that 8 a.m. breakfast is going to be served and at 5 p.m.
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  Things are going to conclude. And baby, that is how it happens.
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  Like I have never in all my years attended something that had no agenda.
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  So I'm like, I must have just missed the agenda. So I email and
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  I asked for it and Morgan her one of her well
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  it's like one of our lead lead girls emails me back and says I
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  know we don't have an agenda but I promise it's going to be worth it and I'm
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  like what I'm about to get on an airplane and fly and stay in a hotel and do
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  all this stuff and I don't even know what we're going to be doing here you know
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  and so again I had every reason to talk myself out of it.
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  But I went anyway. After I kind of had that break in mid-December,
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  I said to myself, okay, I'm going to go over here to Austin.
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  I'm going to show up the first day. And if it is out of my comfort zone or if
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  it is something I do not feel like I'm going to get a benefit from or whatever,
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  then I will just stay in my hotel room the next few days.
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  Like I won't go back. Like I don't have to, you know, because I did again,
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  it was like this deep knowing, like this deep, like you've got to go.
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  Okay. And so at the same time, you know, we're starting the new year and the
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  word abide has been on my heart for months at that point.
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  Like I just knew abide was my word for 2025.
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  Y'all at this point, abide may have to be my word for the rest of my life. Right.
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  But, and so I'm just like, okay, like it felt such an alignment,
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  which is what I'm going to talk about here in a minute. So I went, okay.
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  It was incredible. Like I cannot, I cannot, I cannot, it's okay.
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  So they, she rented an Airbnb. Again, this was another, I'm like an Airbnb.
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  I looked up the address to where it was going to be. And I told my husband, I'm like.
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  House, you know, like, I mean, it was so outside of my comfort zone.
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  I am so used to conference centers, you know, but even still,
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  I haven't even done that in years.
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  And so, so it was an Airbnb, but I loved it because there were only about 30
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  of us and it was an intimate space.
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  And so it just did not feel like a conference, you know, and now at first that
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  was not, I was not comfortable with that.
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  But as the, as the week went on, as the days went on, I realized the beauty
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  in that. But also, this chick made us dance every day.
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  Like every morning when we got there, we would dance before we got started.
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  At lunch, we would dance. Like before we left, we would dance.
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  Like we were always dancing. It was wild.
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  It was just totally outside of my comfort zone. And so I felt like,
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  okay, I'm here. I may as well like just keep going.
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  Okay. And so I will say the material, like the things that we covered were really great.
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  Like it was great content. It was, it was helpful.
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  I think if anything, it really helped me like, like I was talking about as a
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  creator, like get away from the noise and get clear on some things,
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  like really remind myself, like, who am I talking to?
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  What does my ideal client look like? What does she feel like?
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  Like, you know, it was really helpful to make me like, remember who y'all are
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  and remember how you feel and like meet you there, you know,
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  whereas sometimes you can get so caught up in the data. And I think anybody
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  in any profession can know this, right?
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  Like if you're a nurse, you got into nursing because you wanted to help people, right?
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  But my word have mercy, when the charts stack up and admin is up your butt and,
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  you know, people are whining and complaining all the time, sometimes you forget
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  about the people you're wanting to help or you don't feel it as deeply, right?
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  And so I think across the board, any of us, if we got away from the noise and
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  was able to focus on the things, the reason we got into what we got into, it would be refreshing.
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  And so that is what happened there for me. But it was day two of this conference
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  or of this retreat that absolutely changed my life.
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  Okay. And so remembering I've had the health issues.
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  I am, my emotions are on E. Like I cannot, y'all, I felt so frail and just so exhausted.
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  I cannot tell you like what kind of mental state I was in at that point in my
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  life in general and kind of just like.
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  Questioning like everything like I'm like should I like is it the business that's
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  making me this way is it like what should I should I shut things down should
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  I change things like it was it was insane so we go to lunch and we when we're
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  when we before we left she says if you have a pillow.
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  If you have a pillow at your hotel room bring it back with you and I'm like what the,
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  So we go to lunch. They tell us to get all of our stuff out from our chairs
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  because they're going to move the chairs out of the way.
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  We go to lunch, come back, and the floor is cleared.
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  And there are pillows and blankets laid all over the concrete floor.
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  And I'm like, what is actually happening? So then this guy walks in and he,
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  his name is Samson, and he introduces himself and he kind of starts talking
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  about what we're going to do.
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  Again, there's no agenda. I have had no preparation for this.
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  I have no idea what he's talking about.
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  I have never heard of any of this that he is speaking about that we're about to partake in.
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  And I looked to the girl. I had met a sweet hormone nurse.
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  And I looked to her. She was sitting next to me. And I said,
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  this is why I'm here. I know.
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  If I felt a flood, I could cry sitting here talking about it.
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  I felt a flood of absolute. I don't know. You know when it's the Lord, right?
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  Like it's relief and it's like knowing and it's like chills.
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  And I'm like, this is why I'm supposed to be here. Again, we haven't even started
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  yet, right? He's just talking, okay, about what's about to happen.
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  So we did a breathwork session.
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  And I don't know if any of you know about that. I had never heard of it.
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  And even when I Googled it afterwards, like, you know, because I'm like,
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  oh, I've got to learn more about all this, right?
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  I still haven't found anyone that does it quite the way Samson does.
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  But when I tell you it was the most powerful, I don't even know how long we
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  were there, but it was like an hour at least.
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  It was the most powerful 60 minutes of my life.
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  Like the most powerful, like I have never felt so in touch with my body,
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  with my senses, with my emotions, with my nervous system.
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  Right and so the nervous system is
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  such a buzzword right now right and but
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  it's so funny because I've noticed the more the more in tune with this I am
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  the more in tune with like regulating your nervous system that I'm becoming
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  it still feels like people are trying to control you know they're like I'm regulating
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  my nervous system so I'm waking up and standing in the sun and I'm taking deep breaths.
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  And, you know, like, like, they've still got a regimen with their nervous system
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  regulation. And I'm not going to say I'm not one of those people. Right.
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  But this for me, like, I had not heard about you maybe listen to me just like,
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  I'm like, what y'all talking about? I mean, regulating your nervous system.
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  I've just thought about, okay, take a deep breath. You good.
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  You know, like that kind of thing.
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  But the depths of this, I had not heard. I had not, I knew nothing about this. Okay.
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  So I had the wildest experience, like physically, my body was releasing anxiety,
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  like obviously emotionally, I was releasing anxiety. I was a blubbering mess by the end.
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  And then the most powerful thing about it, though, was when I sat up when we
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  were done, I felt this level of relief that I have never felt before in my life.
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  And y'all, mind you, I have done a lot of therapy in my life.
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  I have done a lot of work on my anxiety, on, you know, trying to just become
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  a more calm human. You know what I mean?
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  I have never felt this level of zen in my life. And I mean, and it was,
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  and I'm not going to lie, it was addicting.
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  Like I'm like, I want to feel this all the time.
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  Obviously we can't, but it was so lovely to have.
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  It was so lovely to have felt it because then that opened my eyes to knowing,
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  oh, wait, I can feel this again.
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  You know, like I can come back to this state. That's what they say a lot in
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  like meditation and regulating your nervous system.
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  You you can come back to this state
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  okay so then I go okay they're like journal all your things and so I did and
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  I go back to my room and I am just again so zen the whole next day same thing
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  I was just so chill but when I went back to my room that night y'all I was like
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  what just happened Like,
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  was this like of the devil?
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  Like, because I had never, like I had never, isn't that funny though?
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  Isn't that funny to think about how I knew when he walked in that door that
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  the Lord, this is why the Lord basically dragged me kicking and screaming to
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  Austin, Texas, right? Like I knew that.
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  Like when Samson walked in, I'm like, oh, this is it. This is why,
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  you know? And so that is only the Lord, right?
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  And everything else was Satan because he knew, he knew what was going to happen
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  for me if I just got to Austin, Texas. Okay.
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  And, but, but even still, right? Like I go, I'm like, I know this is why I have
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  this amazing experience. Then I get back to my room and what happens?
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  The, the, the devil tries to creep in again and it's like, oh,
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  this is, you know, not of, not of God, not of, you know, whatever.
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  So I Google it. I look it all up. I mean, I spent forever researching and looking
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  and, and like, I'm like, okay, sure. You know, breathwork is actually like ancient practice.
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  And there are obviously, just like with meditation and everything else, right?
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  Like it can be taken out of a Christian context or it can be put into a Christian context.
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  And so you do have to be careful there, right? Like we are not worshiping like Mother Earth, right?
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  Like when we meditate, we are meditating on the word.
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  We are meditating on the Lord. Like, you know, so it can be blurred. Right.
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  But anything in life can be blurred, right? Like eating food, is that of the Lord?
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  Yeah, to sustain us, but is glutton of the Lord? No, ma'am.
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  You know, so anything can be taken out of context. And so it's just about armoring
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  yourself in whatever you do. So anyway, I did all the research.
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  I felt like, okay, I'm good.
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  And then I go back the next day. It was a wonderful day. Again,
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  like the activities were wonderful.
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  I've actually done a few with my PFM Plus clients, like really to just get clear
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  on who you are and what you want and how you want to see it come to life.
• 22:58
  And, you know, things as small as like, what does your perfect day look like?
• 23:02
  You know, like truly, have you ever thought about that? Or are you letting your day run you?
• 23:06
  Like, obviously, we have to go to work and we have to do specific things,
• 23:09
  right? We can't leave our kids at school and go to the beach.
• 23:11
  Like that can't be our perfect day every day, right?
• 23:14
  But in the day-to-day mundane, like what does that truly look like?
• 23:18
  From the littlest things to the biggest things. And then how can you create
• 23:23
  a space so that those things are more likely to happen and create not just a
• 23:27
  space, create a mindset of that?
• 23:29
  You know, so things like that, it was wonderful. But again, this breath work was what really got me.
• 23:34
  OK, because it just opened my eyes to a new level of like calm.
• 23:42
  So I come home. I tell Jess about it. And he thinks, I'm sure,
• 23:48
  like, what kind of drugs did they give her in Austin's Nexus?
• 23:53
  You know, we actually have a lady. So then it's, again, the Lord, I'm telling y'all.
• 23:59
  So about a week after that, I see my local bar studio where I used to teach bar.
• 24:05
  She was hosting a lady who was doing breathwork classes at the studio.
• 24:10
  And I'm like, oh, my gosh, Erin, I had no idea that, you know,
• 24:14
  we had this here. I thought it was just a big city thing.
• 24:17
  And so I've been to a few of those. Justin's been to a few of those.
• 24:20
  So like now he understands a little bit more.
• 24:21
  I don't think he's had like the massive experience I have. But I'm telling you,
• 24:25
  Samson, y'all, he's just, if I could just put him in my pocket.
• 24:29
  So then it had me like, okay, what do I do now?
• 24:32
  Because like I want to know more
• 24:34
  about this. I want to experience more of this, right? Like I want to...
• 24:39
  Have more of what had because
• 24:42
  I that is the way to a regulated nervous system
• 24:45
  for me at this point in my life and I
• 24:48
  want to make that a practice right so we literally
• 24:51
  like I have since then since January we I started a few things actually before
• 24:57
  that but I have literally like been changing my way of life slowly and I'm definitely
• 25:04
  not perfect at it right but like learning about things like somatic work, like your body.
• 25:11
  Okay. Because that's what this was. Like breath work is really about getting
• 25:14
  in touch with your body and recognizing like, while you're listening to this,
• 25:19
  like are your shoulders in your ears right now?
• 25:21
  Can you relax them? And then it's like, can you relax them even more?
• 25:26
  Like there are things we just don't even realize, like are your toes curled.
• 25:30
  Like we don't even realize that our body is holding on to things.
• 25:36
  And if we just were in tune with it and we put some breath to it,
• 25:42
  you know, how much better our day-to-day would feel and how much more regulated we would be.
• 25:50
  And I will never forget in grad school, I had to take an elective class and
• 25:54
  I took stress management because I thought this will be perfect.
• 25:56
  And we did a little bit of this, right?
• 25:59
  Like just this, it was a lot of mindfulness stuff, but also like how your body
• 26:05
  affects how you feel and how you think.
• 26:09
  And y'all, how your health and wellness is, how your immune system can work.
• 26:17
  Okay. And this was the breaking point for me. I'm like, I, if you remember back
• 26:22
  in 2024, I got strep five times.
• 26:27
  And I mean, it would take me a solid four weeks to get over it.
• 26:30
  Like I was sick all of 2024.
• 26:32
  In 2023, I picked up a stomach bug so often. And like, what's crazy about it
• 26:36
  is you could say, oh, her kids brought that home. But my kids never got it.
• 26:39
  My kids never had strep. My kids maybe, I mean, knock on some wood,
• 26:43
  but they maybe had a stomach bug like once.
• 26:46
  You know, like it was only me getting it. And it's just like,
• 26:50
  I'm picking it up from the grocery store buggies or like from somebody I walk by.
• 26:55
  And so what kind of weak immune system is that, you know, because I'm not around a lot of people all day.
• 27:01
  So if you follow me on stories, you saw back in back around the holidays,
• 27:05
  I started taking a ton of vitamins, which I do think helped.
• 27:09
  But all that to say, like, I think now looking back, obviously,
• 27:13
  isn't hindsight so amazing?
• 27:15
  I think that it was my immune system was just so worn down and broken because
• 27:20
  of the stress I was putting on my body because of this, like,
• 27:26
  inability to let my brain slow down and to just I was constantly in fight or flight mode.
• 27:32
  You know, we talk about fight or flight as if it's like in traumatic situations,
• 27:37
  which that is what it should be. but because the world is so fast paced,
• 27:42
  everything is so instant, everything is so, oh, we need it now.
• 27:46
  And, or because we've also had traumatic experiences that we never truly healed
• 27:52
  from, we just distracted ourselves out of it.
• 27:55
  You know, we're in fight or flight all the time.
• 27:58
  It may not feel as massive as if, you know,
• 28:01
  you were getting mugged or whatever, but our, our, Our bodies are still responding
• 28:06
  in that way because just like with our brains we talk about here,
• 28:10
  like our bodies think it's protecting you by responding in the way it knows
• 28:16
  how to respond, you know?
• 28:18
  And so there has just been a lot of unraveling of this for me personally in my life.
• 28:24
  And, y'all, I do not have a traumatic life like history. Yes,
• 28:28
  I've had some horrible things in the past that, you know, were really sad or like our miscarriage.
• 28:34
  Well twice and then you know
• 28:36
  I lost my aunt when I was in the fourth grade and you
• 28:39
  know Jess and I had some relationship issues when we were early college
• 28:42
  you know we lost some friends you know early college like stuff like that but
• 28:46
  again it wasn't anything just make you be like this is just like normal life
• 28:52
  happenings you know for me and I don't know I guess I just have not dealt Like
• 28:58
  I just have not dealt with whatever,
• 29:01
  or maybe it's just...
• 29:04
  Who I am, like how I am, how my body has always been trained to respond.
• 29:08
  So anyway, came home, like got focused on some of it all and got my therapist
• 29:13
  actually that I used to see, she, I messaged her. I'm like, hey,
• 29:18
  do you do any work in somatics?
• 29:19
  And she was like, yes. So she started, we started doing some work there.
• 29:24
  So anyway, since like all the way through the, from January through till the summer.
• 29:30
  This has been my mission, like my personal mission. You've seen me,
• 29:34
  I'm sure, talking about meditating and just I'm trying to regulate my nervous
• 29:38
  system in all sorts of ways
• 29:42
  and just like seeing what sticks and what I feel like I enjoy the most.
• 29:46
  And, you know, people have asked me, what do you do every day?
• 29:49
  Like, I want to know what you do every day. And I'm like, well,
• 29:51
  literally, I tried to have a routine.
• 29:53
  Like I tried to have a, okay, I'm going to wake up. I'm going to do this.
• 29:57
  I'm going to do that. But then I realized like that is more control.
• 30:02
  Like I'm still trying to control the day.
• 30:04
  You know what I mean? I'm still trying to control my to-do list.
• 30:07
  And so I do wake up early, obviously, because I can't, I mean,
• 30:11
  I'm not going to get to do anything if I don't wake up before my kids.
• 30:14
  And I wake up early and it's just kind of whatever. Sometimes I go on a walk
• 30:18
  without my earbuds in, you know, without my phone, without any distraction.
• 30:22
  Sometimes I just sit there and I listen to praise music. Sometimes I have a
• 30:26
  couple apps that I like to use for meditation or breath work.
• 30:29
  And sometimes I'll do that.
• 30:30
  I do my devotion, you know, but sometimes I won't. Sometimes I'm like,
• 30:34
  I do not like, I feel like the Lord just wants me to sit today instead of like,
• 30:38
  try to be a good little girl and write in my devotion book, you know?
• 30:43
  So it's been, it's been a long run and it still is y'all. That's why I haven't talked about this.
• 30:47
  It's August and I haven't talked about it because it's like,
• 30:49
  this is hard to integrate into a high-paced, like, you know,
• 30:55
  quick life, which I do love. I love to be on the go. I love to be...
• 31:02
  You know, excited and I love to have a task at hand, you know,
• 31:07
  and so it's been really, I've been really trying to figure out,
• 31:09
  okay, how does this integrate for me?
• 31:12
  So then if you saw recently, I went back in July, I went back to Austin to the
• 31:18
  same retreat and this time I was ready, baby. I'm like, let's go.
• 31:21
  I tried to get some, some work friends to go with me and they I knew.
• 31:27
  Okay. And so I struggled this time, right?
• 31:31
  Samson came back and that was, that piece was wonderful. Right.
• 31:36
  But this time I feel like I went in, last time I went in completely broken and
• 31:40
  I was like, give me whatever you got, like why I'm here for it all.
• 31:43
  Right. And you know, that feeling like when you're just at your bottom and you're
• 31:46
  like, just tell me anything, you know, to give me excitement or to give me hope.
• 31:52
  Right. And so that's kind of where I was. and then this
• 31:55
  time it was like I was
• 31:59
  expecting specifics like I
• 32:02
  was expecting more peace more light
• 32:05
  take care of yourself kind of thing and again I don't remember like we did a
• 32:10
  lot of stuff in January that was like business growth stuff but that I don't
• 32:15
  remember any of it I only remember like the the wellness take care of yourself
• 32:19
  stuff she integrates but into the into to the retreats.
• 32:23
  And so this time, I felt like it was all this like, future self stuff.
• 32:30
  Like, what do you where do you want to see yourself in the next three to five
• 32:33
  years? Where do you want to, you know, where do you want to go? Who do you want to be?
• 32:37
  And like, y'all, I have just been in this bubble since January,
• 32:42
  where I'm just like, I just want to like, keep hanging out with my clients.
• 32:46
  And like you know keep just doing what we've been doing like I have had no growth
• 32:52
  mission no like nothing truly nothing like.
• 32:58
  Nothing, I don't think like innovative or new for, you know, this year.
• 33:03
  We've just been doing what we've always done, which is great, by the way.
• 33:07
  Like, don't let that sound like, wah, you know, like that is like,
• 33:12
  it's a well-oiled machine at this point.
• 33:15
  We have trial and error this business for so long that like what we're doing
• 33:19
  now can stand to just be what we're doing. You know what I'm saying?
• 33:24
  And, but other than like seeing like some heavy growth in RPFN plus clientele,
• 33:30
  you know, which that's just totally God.
• 33:32
  Like, I'm not out here like driving people to do it more than I have been before.
• 33:38
  You know, I just think that, you know, it's a program that's benefiting people.
• 33:43
  And so they're going to come, you know.
• 33:45
  And so anyway, we've just been kind of steady, if that makes sense.
• 33:48
  We've been maintaining.
• 33:50
  And I've been happy with that. Like, I've just been like, okay,
• 33:53
  I love that this is how things are going.
• 33:56
  And, you know, we're good with it.
• 33:59
  And so I felt conflicted, like, because the whole room,
• 34:06
  right, they were, they were seeking growth, they were looking to the future,
• 34:10
  they were writing out where they want to be and what they want to have done
• 34:14
  in three to five years or one year or whatever.
• 34:16
  And I'm just like, literally, y'all like my one-year plan was like
• 34:19
  wake up with peace every day
• 34:22
  have time to talk to pfm
• 34:26
  plus clients in depth because sometimes my days get ahead of me and i'm like
• 34:29
  i i want to i i would desperately like want to just be present for my people
• 34:34
  as much as i can um pick up my kids from school without any distraction you
• 34:39
  know like it wasn't like grow my membership by however many You know.
• 34:44
  Hire on a team member, another team member. Like it wasn't any of that.
• 34:49
  And so I was noticing that I was like different in the room, you know.
• 34:55
  And then I started to feel like that there was something wrong.
• 35:00
  Like, you know, what is this? You know, and I was challenged.
• 35:03
  I was challenged in the room. Like she asked me, like, what are you afraid of?
• 35:08
  Like, why don't you want to grow? Like what, because you have,
• 35:12
  like, you are a hustler, Constance.
• 35:14
  Like you have been growing since you started this business, you know,
• 35:18
  eight, ten years ago or whatever. So like, what is it?
• 35:22
  And so then that made me like, I was like, you know, like, what did she just say to me?
• 35:27
  You know, like, I did not like to hear that. I'm not scared.
• 35:30
  You know, that's kind of how I felt.
• 35:31
  And so then it forced me to like, really look at myself like,
• 35:35
  like, okay, what is it? And so I do, I feel like reflecting back and I feel
• 35:42
  like this really ties beautifully into weight loss.
• 35:45
  And I do feel like it's what a lot of people, whether they realize it or not,
• 35:50
  struggle with is like looking back to grow the business, the way that I grew
• 35:55
  it, how I grew it, like y'all, I was.
• 35:58
  At first, it was like an easy growth because I really wasn't taking it seriously, if that makes sense.
• 36:03
  Like, I was just like, oh, when I decide to do a challenge, I'll put it up on
• 36:07
  Facebook and we'll just see who, you know, who comes. Like, and that was it.
• 36:11
  Like, I was just doing it myself whenever I wanted to.
• 36:13
  I was responsible for no one. The challenges would start. They would end.
• 36:18
  You know, it was, there was no, like, ongoing anything. There was nothing to take care of.
• 36:23
  Like, it was a transaction. it was a
• 36:25
  lot of me showing up for these people and
• 36:28
  loving it and then it ended until
• 36:31
  I was ready to repeat it you know and so that would just depend on our family
• 36:36
  vacations or on Sarah Mason was in like preschool at that time and so and just
• 36:40
  all depended right but then as it turned into an actual business right as you
• 36:45
  know like the responsibilities get greater like you can't just say,
• 36:50
  oh, I don't feel like running a challenge this week when you have 400 members relying on you.
• 36:55
  You know what I mean? And so from that point, when it really got,
• 37:00
  when I got serious about it, when it turned into a business, I was a hustler baby.
• 37:07
  I mean, I, y'all, I, anybody who knew me back then knows it.
• 37:11
  Like I eat, breathe, slept.
• 37:14
  I mean, everything was about perfect fit. But I was, I will never forget, we had one challenge.
• 37:19
  This was before we turned it into a membership. So people were literally all signing up at one time.
• 37:23
  I had one challenge where we had almost 700 sign-ups and Glory was a baby and I got my status.
• 37:33
  And I was, obviously, because I was so stressed out. I was by myself.
• 37:36
  I had no Stacey. I had Candice. My sister Candice helped me some. But like that was it.
• 37:40
  You know, I was the only one that could do IARs or personalized nutrition numbers.
• 37:44
  I was the only one that did any of the like nutrition related work.
• 37:48
  Candice really helped me in the back end stuff.
• 37:50
  But so I was a lunatic because like turnaround time was a week.
• 37:54
  And so I remember sitting up in the bed with chills and a fever,
• 37:59
  just cranking out nutrition numbers.
• 38:03
  You know, while, and so because I had no choice. And so that was the,
• 38:07
  that was the level of hustle that I had all the way up until probably last year,
• 38:16
  like probably last year.
• 38:17
  So I will say we revamped the program at the end of 2023.
• 38:21
  And that, of course, I was a full-on hustle machine during that.
• 38:25
  And then during 2024, I'm like, okay, I got to make sure this thing is,
• 38:30
  is how I want it. So it was constant, just focus on the work and changing things.
• 38:36
  And Lord, let's pray the app doesn't shut down if you were around back then.
• 38:41
  Y'all know that app was giving me bits at the beginning of all this.
• 38:45
  And so it was like when I finally got room to breathe and exhale, and I did. I breathed.
• 38:53
  I exhaled. I started a garden.
• 38:55
  Like, I allowed myself to say, okay, like, it's fine. It's great.
• 38:59
  You know, everybody, I'm great. Everything's great.
• 39:03
  Then I'm like, oh, wait, I don't want to do that anymore.
• 39:08
  Like, I don't want to hustle like that anymore. Like, I don't want to give myself.
• 39:12
  Freaking strep five times or mastitis or stomach bugs or be going to bed,
• 39:19
  seeing my husband for just a few hours tonight.
• 39:21
  And all I can think about is the things I didn't get done for my business.
• 39:25
  You know, like it was a realization after the season had worn off,
• 39:31
  like after I had ended and allowed myself to take an exhale,
• 39:34
  I'm looking back on it. I'm like, well, I never want to do that again.
• 39:38
  You know, of course, I want to have the business and do all the things with
• 39:41
  inside the business, but it was the way I did it, right?
• 39:43
  The hustle, the imbalance of it all.
• 39:49
  And so I see this with weight loss because you're like, oh, yeah,
• 39:54
  I did, you know, faster weight or trained for a marathon or I did this and I
• 39:59
  lost the weight. I look great.
• 40:01
  I felt the best I've ever felt. But you're missing weight.
• 40:05
  The part where you hustled and you felt deprived and you felt exhausted and
• 40:10
  you felt like you were grinding yourself to the bone because you were constantly
• 40:16
  missing out on meals. You were constantly up late meal prepping.
• 40:19
  You were constantly trying to like figure things out amongst all the other chaos
• 40:24
  you already had going on. Like it was, it was a job.
• 40:27
  And so a lot of people, once they finish that race, once they hit the goal weight,
• 40:34
  or, you know, they feel like they're done, they'll completely go back the other
• 40:38
  way and say, like, okay, I'm just going to live my life now.
• 40:42
  And then when you think about, okay, I've regained all that weight,
• 40:45
  I need to do something, you're like, but I can't.
• 40:48
  I never want to do that again, right? Like, I never want to lose weight the way I did it ever again.
• 40:54
  And so that is where I have been, right? Like, since January,
• 40:58
  I'm like, I never like if it means to shut the business down,
• 41:02
  like I will do it before I will ever try to run and maintain and grow a business the way I did.
• 41:12
  Does that get like and I hope I'm sure that makes sense. But like, it was all all me.
• 41:16
  It was all how I did it right and how pushed myself and how like,
• 41:20
  traumatized myself, I guess, you know, to reach a goal.
• 41:26
  And like, there's y'all we love goals, right? Goal setting is amazing.
• 41:29
  But I think it was where I was, and how I was trying to reach the goal,
• 41:37
  right? That was the problem.
• 41:39
  And the beautiful part about it is, is that our program is so against that, right?
• 41:43
  Like, we are not like, you know, y'all, I mean, y'all know, like, if,
• 41:46
  and I'm on the next episode, we're talking about my memo, and like,
• 41:50
  that'll be a whole thing where It's like when you're in a season where you can't,
• 41:55
  like the goal is unattainable because life,
• 41:57
  because you are exhausted, because you really don't care about it as much right
• 42:01
  now, like whatever it is, we're not going to encourage you to do it anyway,
• 42:04
  to buckle down and to kill yourself trying, right?
• 42:09
  And so, but I think that is where I lived as a business owner up until January, 2025.
• 42:16
  So it's just taken me some time to figure out, okay.
• 42:22
  Number one, do I trust myself to kind of step with both feet back in the business
• 42:27
  and do what I love, which is to be creative and just like excited about creativity
• 42:31
  and new things and all this stuff.
• 42:34
  Do I trust myself enough? And how does this look for me?
• 42:38
  You know, and so with her challenging me that about the fear of it, right?
• 42:43
  Like that's what made me say, oh, maybe I don't just want peace, love, and harmony.
• 42:47
  You know, of course I do. Of course I want to be at peace. But like,
• 42:50
  can I reach goals and also maintain my peace?
• 42:55
  And I think for most of us, the answer is no with the way we've been doing it.
• 42:59
  Right? I know it is for me. I have not, up until this point,
• 43:03
  really been able to strive for something I really want while also maintaining my peace.
• 43:11
  Okay? And so what that comes down to is how we are handling our days,
• 43:16
  the day as a whole, right?
• 43:17
  It's not just like, oh, I'm going to go to the gym and listen to worship music instead of trap music.
• 43:22
  Like, no, you're still going to the gym. What are you thinking about at the gym?
• 43:25
  Like, do you need to go to the gym or do you need to rest today?
• 43:28
  Like it's a lot of like, how did you start your morning?
• 43:32
  Like, have you even focused on your breathing today?
• 43:36
  Or do you feel like you're spinning out of control today? Like it's a lot of
• 43:40
  backstep kind of things versus the actual act of going to the gym or whatever
• 43:45
  it may be, right, that you're trying to strive for.
• 43:48
  And so with all this, you know, one big conclusion that I left Austin with in July.
• 43:58
  Is if you are seeking something that you are not fully in alignment with right now,
• 44:07
  then it is going to be twice as hard for it to come or it may never come, right?
• 44:13
  And so I'm not sitting here, like I'm sitting here on this mic right now telling
• 44:17
  you I'm not, there are some things down the line, like I have some super fun
• 44:21
  stuff I have coming down the line for perfect fit. But as far as like growth
• 44:26
  mindset stuff, I'm not there yet.
• 44:28
  Like I'm just not because I'm not aligned with it yet.
• 44:31
  Right. Like I'm not in this space. I'm not able to say like,
• 44:35
  I really want to see X, Y, Z for myself in the next three or five years or X,
• 44:39
  Y, Z for our programs in the next three. Like I'm not, I have, it is not here.
• 44:44
  And I have no shame about that right now. Like I think I am going to ease back into this.
• 44:50
  Okay, let's see what it looks like to build a few new things and try a few new things and, you know,
• 44:56
  and see how we can handle it after we have done this life-changing overhaul
• 45:01
  of somatic work and really just getting still and getting quiet and focusing
• 45:06
  more on my nervous system throughout the day.
• 45:10
  And, like, that's okay, right? And so I think that is where a lot of us,
• 45:15
  especially with weight loss, bump into, like, I need to lose weight,
• 45:17
  right? but I'm not in alignment with literally anything that it would require of me to lose weight.
• 45:24
  So you're not going to lose weight. You know what I mean? And I think that's fine.
• 45:28
  Like, it's okay to accept that, but it is not okay to not wonder why.
• 45:33
  You know, like, what is holding me back?
• 45:36
  What is stopping me from the want to, you know, to actually do the work that
• 45:42
  is required of reaching the goal?
• 45:45
  You know, and then whatever that answer is, it's like, okay,
• 45:48
  well, let's examine that a little bit further, right? And so for me,
• 45:51
  that's what this was, right?
• 45:52
  Like, when she challenged me, like, what are you afraid of?
• 45:56
  At first, I was like, nothing. You know, I just don't want to worry about growing
• 46:00
  a business right now. But then it's like, oh, wait, no.
• 46:02
  What I'm afraid of is that I will be the person that I was when I grew the business in the past.
• 46:11
  And so it's just, it's a place, you know, it's a place to sit.
• 46:14
  It's a place, and it's a place to, like, you don't, again, I don't have to say,
• 46:18
  okay, well, I'm going to conquer this fear, and I'm going to,
• 46:20
  you know, shoot for all these big goals and dreams just to prove to myself that I can?
• 46:25
  No, because that's how I'll end up exactly back where I was with a dysregulated
• 46:28
  nervous system. And y'all might see perfect fit go out of business, you know?
• 46:33
  So I know that's not it, but like it's little baby steps, right?
• 46:37
  It's like, okay, for you, it's like, okay, you don't want to go on a hardcore
• 46:40
  diet and, you know, walk and run every day and like be packing your lunches
• 46:45
  for work or meal prepping or whatever. Okay. But can we just like.
• 46:49
  See what it's like to carry around a water bottle every day and drink a little bit of water?
• 46:54
  Like, can we just see what it's like to maybe take five minutes at the beginning
• 46:58
  of each work day and like take some breaths and be calm?
• 47:02
  You know, that is not the same thing, obviously, as running an hour a day or,
• 47:06
  you know, cooking scratch healthy meals every night.
• 47:09
  Like that is very different, but that's how you're dipping your toe in.
• 47:12
  And so it's the same for me with business right now. I'm going to be dipping
• 47:15
  my toe in on some things to just say, okay, can we do this?
• 47:18
  Because I know it will help me down the long run.
• 47:21
  But if anything, it's kind of given me that test maybe that I need to prove
• 47:26
  to myself, hey, I can do this.
• 47:29
  And I can do it in a way differently than I did in the past.
• 47:33
  I can do it without mastitis and strep and tons of other crazy health issues going on.
• 47:40
  Right? I can do this. Right?
• 47:43
  And so I think, you know, I know this one was just, you know,
• 47:46
  just y'all me rambling. This one's a little different.
• 47:49
  Congratulations if you made it this far into the podcast.
• 47:54
  But I do, I know that some of y'all just like to hear from me about things.
• 47:58
  And so here it is, you know, and so I will say one of the biggest things outside
• 48:02
  of all that, that I've just, you know, word vomited on you is that,
• 48:06
  I have learned when we do the same things day to day and like aren't forced outside of our box,
• 48:13
  we can't wonder why we don't see the change we
• 48:15
  desire right like and so like I y'all
• 48:19
  if I had not gone to Austin in January none of this like who I am I for real
• 48:23
  for real for real I'm not gonna lie like in in November December of 2024 I was
• 48:29
  talking to Jess about about just possibly shutting down the business because
• 48:33
  I just I could not hold it you know and,
• 48:37
  So who knows if this had not come about in January, I'm so on fire for this business.
• 48:41
  I mean, I'm not on fire again for the marketing and the growth and all that,
• 48:44
  but I'm so on fire for like my
• 48:46
  people and like what they're doing and like pouring into them right now.
• 48:51
  But like, if I had not stepped out of my comfort zone and gone to Austin,
• 48:56
  where would that put us right now in August of 2025?
• 48:59
  I do not know. I do not know.
• 49:02
  You know and so like I think that
• 49:05
  is the one of the things I will continue doing this kind of
• 49:08
  thing for the rest of my business I think it
• 49:11
  is required and so I think it's the same for us as
• 49:13
  moms and us as like working women us as
• 49:16
  women who literally were running the schedule every single day
• 49:19
  right like I think we have got to
• 49:23
  take those breaks that's why women's conferences like church
• 49:26
  conferences like that is so necessary and
• 49:29
  important for us women who are in the weeds and in the thick of it every day
• 49:35
  because like you've got to be forced outside of your day-to-day you've got to
• 49:39
  hear words of wisdom that you otherwise wouldn't hear like if Emily had not
• 49:43
  challenged me about my fear about this I would just be like oh yeah peace love
• 49:47
  and happiness you know whatever you know,
• 49:49
  and so like we've got to be gently pressed to look at other perspectives to
• 49:57
  hopefully help us open our horizons and then obviously improve in the areas
• 50:02
  that we are hoping to see improvement, right?
• 50:05
  And there is just something so powerful about a group of like-minded people
• 50:09
  coming together to do that, to do that exact thing, right? And so this is mentioned in our.
• 50:17
  Our perfect fit community, like we are going to do a retreat for our ladies or for anyone.
• 50:23
  Like you don't have to be a member to do it, but our members will get first choice.
• 50:27
  But we're going to do this because I believe if, oh my gosh,
• 50:31
  if it's important as a business owner, it's definitely important for a mom, wife.
• 50:38
  You know, sister, whoever, who's trying to take care of her health,
• 50:41
  right because we know health is important right we
• 50:45
  know health is important obviously we hear
• 50:48
  and see enough about it to know our taking care
• 50:51
  of our health is important but why do we keep missing the mark every single
• 50:55
  day right just like I mean I know I need my business health is important y'all
• 51:01
  I don't need to be out there picking tomatoes when I got to be like running
• 51:05
  spreadsheets and stuff for this business to keep it going, right?
• 51:10
  And so we know these things, but why are we constantly looking the other way?
• 51:14
  And so I just think, I think this is so needed for our ladies and for any lady
• 51:20
  who's just been struggling with setting goals and then constantly not reaching them.
• 51:25
  So yeah, we're gonna do it with Perfect Bits. So that information will be coming
• 51:29
  out in here soon. It'll be a little while.
• 51:31
  We're still working out the logistics, but I was so inspired by it and my life
• 51:35
  was so much, so changed. so changed that I can't not pass it on, you know?
• 51:43
  So anyway, that's that.
• 51:46
  I hope y'all enjoyed this long episode of me just rambling about Austin, Texas.
• 51:51
  But as always, y'all remember to say grace.
• 51:55
  Music.