Latest / Crossroad Conversations with the Lewis Brothers / Ep.48 - Stop Being So Nice: How Weak Leadership Masquerades as Kindness

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Ep.48 - Stop Being So Nice: How Weak Leadership Masquerades as Kindness · Crossroad Conversations with the Lewis Brothers

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is going to be a gut check for some people out there.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: You think everything's okay.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, what happens?
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what's going to happen with your workforce.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: The average and below average people will stay with you.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: The top performers will leave.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: They will leave your top producers will leave your team because they want to go somewhere where they're going to be encouraged, coached and pushed to be at their highest level.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome to Crossroad Conversations with the Lewis Brothers, where we aim to share real stories about running a successful family business, working through adversity and pouring back into the community that keeps our door open.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: We're your hosts, matt Shelby and Taylor, and we bring you relevant local business advice and automotive insights that are sure to change the way you look at running a business and maybe even throw in a plug for you to do business with us.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Crossroad Conversations with the Lewis Brothers, episode 48.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: This morning we're back.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Starting to get it figured out.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Morning we're back starting to get it figured out 48 figured out here.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: We're starting to get in stride here.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Hey, today's topic, stop being so nice.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I've been saying that that's my fault how weak leadership messes up, kindness this pointed towards me?
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: not at all.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, today.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Hey, today we're going to hit on something, honestly, that hits pretty close to home with us and, I think, for a lot of business leaders out there, especially small businesses as you start to grow, and those who care about their people.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: We're talking about the fine line between kindness and weakness in your leadership.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: When does empathy become enabling and when does being the nice boss actually hurt your team and your leadership?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: When does empathy become enabling and when does being the nice boss actually hurt your team?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: You ever thought about that?
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Like being the nice guy or being somebody that cares too much actually hurts your team.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, today we're going to unpack that and a whole lot more.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: But before we do that, what did we go over last week?
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: Last week why leaders fail and why smart ones learn from this.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: So we talked about failure is not final, it's feedback.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: The real failing is not owning the failure and failing the same way twice.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Now that's a problem.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: So we fully unpacked that in episode 47.
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Don't stop what you're doing right now, but set aside another 45 minutes to an hour to check that one out.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: Crossroad conversation Conversation, episode 47, why Leaders Fail and the Smart Ones.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Lack From it Absolutely, and always check us out at lewissuperstorecom for the freshest inventory, all the specials, everything we've got going on during the month, and then the podcast.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Go back and look at crossroadsconversationpodcastcom.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Hey, and then we're talking about you.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: You know we got to talk about what we drive.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So today I'm gonna throw you guys a curveball.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Because we've just gotten a good amount of them in and sometimes we don't talk about these.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Um, because it's it's not frontline and not everybody comes in asking for this vehicle.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: But a lot of people need this vehicle.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I think it's relevant to this podcast.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: It's our commercial division, yeah, you know.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: So it's the cabin chassis trucks, it's the cargo vans and then even sometimes we have the people that are looking for qc quality control.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Maybe the maverick comes in here.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, escape, the escape.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Uh, you can put the compass in there as well.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: But I really want to talk about cabin chassis, because we just got a big load of cabin chassis.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: What the heck is that?
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: So cabin chassis is a pickup truck without the pickup bed on the back.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, so it's got a frame.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So if you ever see what looks like it's missing a bed, it's not that it got in an accident From the manufacturer.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: They didn't put a bed on there and in fact it's got a little bit different frame in the back.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: So it's easier adaptable to whatever you need for your business.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: So, for example, if you needed a flatbed.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: You're just hauling stuff around.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe you need a hay bed, maybe you're in agriculture and you need a hay bed with feeders and stuff on it, or you need a utility bed.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: A utility bed then has all the boxes built in but still has the middle open so you can put stuff in there.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Or if you want to upfit it with a crane or the generator.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Or we've had some for the city that, uh, have been for animal control, that have air conditioned dog boxes on them, fully versatile, all that stuff.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: And again, we don't talk about that enough.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: But this month alone we'll deliver over a hundred of those vehicles through our fleet department yeah, it's a.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: It's a big need Generally.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: It's not specific for you, right, it would be for your business, and so it's not the top of your mind for us of selling or you of buying, but it is so important and that Maverick and that Escape is a really good option.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: It can be a sub $30,000 if you need a runner for your business or someone to read a meter, someone that doesn't need to haul three, four, five, six, 70,000 pounds or doesn't need a class seven hitch on the back.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: You bet Right that's a good option there that you can generally reorder those in white.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: That allows it to be white, to put your labels on the side, or you can wrap it with your company logo or whatever it be there.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: But we do have a bunch of those to pick from.
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: We do and we handle all the upfitting for you.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: So we'll help you figure out.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So legally you're in balance with GBWR or payload or what licenses do your drivers need?
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I'm going to throw we usually don't spend this much time here but I think, as something we haven't covered, that I just want to get y'all's opinion on real quick for all the business owners out there.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe they do have a fleet of five or ten vehicles.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: It's when do you upgrade them?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: When do you turn them?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, here's what I tell business owners that ask me about that.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: I said, okay, could you ride it into the ground until nothing's left?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you could, you sure could, you sure could.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: But at what cost?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and some of that's from an image cost, some of that's from a maintenance cost and then the value of the vehicle.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: So I tell most of my guys out there I'm like, why don't you look at trading somewhere between 60 and 100,000 miles?
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: And you guys know this If we get a utility bed truck in, it's got 60 or 70,000 miles, it turns really fast.
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, before the truck's just been destroyed Like somewhere where you know it's gone a little past manufacturer warranty but they had.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: You know that's going to be three to five years depending on how much yep, you know.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: So they've been under manufacturer warranty a long time.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: They've generally taken good care of it.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, those turn good, which means we get to give you more money right, which means you get back in the cycle quicker with a new range.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Your employees are happy with the new vehicle.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: You look good when you pull up.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: And when you look from a maintenance standpoint, try not to push yourself to spend more than regular maintenance.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: So if your goal is 70,000 miles, maybe put a set of tires on there, maybe two, depending upon the conditions.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: You get regular oil changes, air filters, fuel filters.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You might have a tranny service in there and then stop it there.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Why get into where you might have to spend five, six, seven, eight, $10,000 on an engine transmission or even more?
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: The vehicle's worth less plus more than likely in three or so years you've already depreciated it out on your taxes hopefully, if you depreciate and what you don't look at specifically until it's an issue because we hear it through service and we hear it through text messages and phone calls is, hey, my truck's down.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, on, no one's fault, but my truck's down, my guys have a job to go to, or I've got seven stops today.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: You waited too long, that's right.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: Right, so now you're down time, so it's costing you in the shop but it's costing you in lost revenue.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: You went too far.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: You need to appreciate that thing.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: Most can depreciate in the first year, that's right, uh.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: But if not, nominal depreciation, go three or four years max.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Find that sweet spot of 60 to 100 000 miles where it still brings good money.
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: You get a fresh one.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: You start that depreciation over again and then you're not in the spot where you're like dang this thing's in the shop always because you've just, it's not the same miles as your car, no, it's hard right, it's a heavier, it's under more load.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Some of the engine idle hours are higher than a kite.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: Yes, like the miles aren't crazy hypothenical on.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: Idle hours are much higher because you always leave it on in between stops and all those things.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: So take that all into account like now I'm okay, I got 98 000 miles.
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Well, like, hang on, it's been pretty rough.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I've got a guy right now that I love and we're getting so deep this topic, but that's what it's about.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: Obviously going down and talking relevance of anything that's in business and he was on the other side of buying auction vehicles high mileage cash, less money and he was spending five, ten, twelve thousand dollars.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: He now has ten and he said I'm never running it past a hundred thousand miles.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: Comes in, has it structured that it's under warranty until 100,000 miles and he's come in several times.
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: Here's my keys he never has a bill and he's just run, run, run run and that's tough to see because the startup cost is so much higher.
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: It is Right.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: You know you can go pre-owned rig that is $20,000 to $40,000.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: The new would be $50,000 to $80,000.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Yes, depending on how you scale that thing, I understand you get two for the price of one in a used truck, yeah.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: But if you factor in maintenance costs of at least 10% a year maybe 20% a year, yes, plus your downtime, you're in a losing battle.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: You cannot win.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: No, I think that's really important and everybody's at different stages and you've heard us talk about in this podcast.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: If you're starting up a business, don't have a ton of cash flow and you got to buy a 200,000 mile vehicle to get started I get it yeah, I get it, but, as you've heard us say as an examples, what got you to where you are won't necessarily get you to where you want to go.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you know.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Just like, when you move out of your parents' house, you move into an apartment with four or five buddies, that's not your end-all be-all.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You're not like, hey, all four of us here are going to raise families, bachelor for life.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: So then you save up and two of your buddies, you get a duplex, oh yeah.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: And then you get your first house, yep.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: And then you get a house with your fleet.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: So then you get into that cycle.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: I know we took more time there, but hopefully that was beneficial to everybody out there.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: We just get the opportunity to see hundreds and thousands of customers and we can share that advice with you guys and what we see that the most successful ones do, yeah, all right, so diving in, today we're talking about being the nice guy or not being the nice guy, or where's the in-between?
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: So let's talk.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Let's first talk about the cost of avoiding conflict, and I would just say, naturally, I don't know very many people that wake up in the morning and say I'm looking for some conflict today.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Let me see who I can address about uneasy situations or uncomfortable situations that will make my day.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: In fact, let's do a meeting at 8 o'clock to just unpack something.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: That's really hard.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: No, that's not a natural thing.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: That was something that I pointed out at the end of the last podcast.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: That was not my natural thing.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: It's not mine either, right, you know, and I know when I've had a situation that man, I just haven't wanted to address and I hope that they work themselves out, which we know they don't ever work themselves out and and I just man, I just keep putting it off and putting it off.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: But then when I finally had that conversation, unpack it with that, individual weights lifted off my shoulders more than likely.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: They needed that conversation too.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And the quicker you do it here's what I found and you guys weigh in on this the quicker you address it.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Now, you know me, if you've listened to the podcast, I'm not going to address it within five seconds.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'm going to make sure that, emotionally, that it's real.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: I've gathered the facts.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, the heat's come down, the heat's come down, but if, let's say, call it 24 hours, so if 24 hours, if I address it, then versus seven days from now, I've got a better opportunity to coach and keep that employee, versus the longer it goes, there may be all this animosity built up and it might get too far down the tracks and I might lose that employee you know, another aspect is that is the severity of the situation might have lost its luster.
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: It's not fresh on the brain, it's not fresh on their brain and it no, I didn't go down that way.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Or it wasn't that bad, the customer wasn't that upset, or it wasn't that big of a deal.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: The coverage, you know.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: We only had two salespeople here and there was 30 customers.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: That wasn't that big of a deal like yeah.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: So there's that little bit of uh, holding period.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Make sure it's real and then you need to address it quickly no, I I agree, and I was coaching a sales manager through this the other day and I said when you're in the middle of a situation and a salesperson is not using the right verbiage or they didn't do the right process, but the deal's still progressing forward, finish the deal up, right there.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Finish the deal up, but after the deal is done, pull them in while it is fresh on everybody's mind and say, hey, I heard you say this or you did this.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Here's how we do it.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: Do you have any questions on that?
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: You know, is there any reason we didn't do that or did you just forget?
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: So why it is fresh on their mind that you're helping coach them through those pieces.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: The other day I had a customer in the middle of it, like you said, whenever the customer's there that they had interjected something, that the customer had come in and apparently had not asked for the salesperson.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: But he was in there and saw the salesperson and said, hey, I asked for you and felt a little guilty and so then told him that the salesperson I could see the temperature rising in the pot, it was just boiling, and I was staring at him like a kid, like don't do it, don't do it, don't do it.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: And here came the other one bebopping in, fired up, fired up, and the person then said ash, free.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: But they said you weren't here so they were going to take care of you know, like, oh gosh, here these are getting right across and the customer had no idea what they've done.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: They were trying to be nice.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: So then we finished off customer is excited, left.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: And then I had to de-escalate the situation pretty quickly but of that really being able to weigh in and see, hey, is this something I need to dive into?
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: But whenever you do dive into it and not just brush it off, you're like, okay, this was serious, this is serious and it needed to be addressed you know, I think one of the things that points out to me about having that hard conversation is your transition into that.
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's good, your lead in, you know.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: So everyone handles hard conversations differently.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Very rare that a person's like, hey, what the heck man?
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: And just like ready for confrontation Like you know, that's not new sort of people and you're just like whoa doesn't get a good response, like I don't care who the other side is, it's just not.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: They're either going to lock up or they're going to come front back.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: You know which is not good, right, too heated, de-escalate, so.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: So I think it's how you segue into that, you know.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: For example, you know if there's an issue, I'm like hey, Matt, I'm looking at this here Once again.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: It's going to be something where I'm going to take some of the responsibility.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: We talked about that last week.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Hey, I was looking at this trying to figure out where I messed up at in clear direction and leadership in all these things here.
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: I was going over this specific time here and of our scheduling and was there something that I missed in direction of the?
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: We only had one sales manager and only two salespeople on this Friday and Saturday.
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: Was that something that I missed and so that's a segue and it's light, it's not.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm not trying to not address it, but the way that I'm moving into that conversation and nine times out of ten they're like no, that was on me.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I overlooked it.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: But you came at it at the right angle.
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I think that's so important and that's not natural.
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: Right, that takes work.
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: We've talked about it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: How say you know what?
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: That's my fault like competition with the customer, you know, and if you can approach that the same way, it just helps you win.
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: In the end it's like, hey, I could have done better.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: And you're saying I could have done better.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: It's like, hey, why don't we work together and let's bounce these ideas off each other before it becomes an ish hey, let me speak real quick, because some of y'all before you tune, tune out on this podcast.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: You're like, ah, this podcast is not for me.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: Man, when something comes up, I hammer it Right, then, right there, I address it.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: Move on, rip the Band-Aid off, let's go.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hang on a second.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: All right, now I'm talking to you.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, before you just address the situation, have you thought about what am I trying to accomplish?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: When I get done with the words that are getting ready to come out of my mouth?
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: How is the employee going to react to it?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: And two days later, two hours later, two months later, will they have productively moved forward or will they just think I'm a donkey's behind?
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: That's so important and saying there there's a difference between nice and fair.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: There's a big difference between nice and fair.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: So if you're confrontation, you're like dude, I ain't overly kind.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: I tell them like it is, I straighten them out.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: Even it's in front of everyone and they know very clearly what it is.
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: Well, do they feel like you care?
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: Do they feel like you have their back, like were they okay to go like directly back into customer facing and not sound like they were just whipped like right, like no one loves that.
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: So if you can nicely approach it, kindly approach it and then go off of this like okay, is there anything else you need for me so that we can make sure that we don't have this issue again?
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: They're like you've been very clear, it's like okay, so here's what anything else you need from me so that we can make sure that we don't have this issue again.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: They're like you've been very clear, it's like okay, so here's what we're going to do Next week.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: We're going to follow up and see have we had any more examples?
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: How did we learn from this?
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: What else can we do to structure this up?
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: And so then you've slowly gone down deep into the issue.
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: You've sat in the issue, right, you right.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: Like no, this was a big deal, like let's spend some time here.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Once you progress down into the no different than getting the cold plunge right, you're going to slowly get down in there and then, once you're in there, you've acclimated to it and you're going to be like and then you're going to slowly progress them back out, warm them back up, and then I think you can interject them back into normal, sure, and they've maybe learned the lesson, without just being hard, just hard as crap, and just like yeah, I get it.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Dave gog is just straight in the mouth they're good to go.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I just think you really have to think as a leader.
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: And what we're talking about, some of y'all are going I don't have time for that.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Blah, blah, blah.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: Let me prove it to you.
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: What are you trying to accomplish with that employee?
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Are you trying to have them be more productive, have a higher ROI, whatever it may be in your business?
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: And if the answer is yes to those which it should be, if it's no, you need to do a checkup.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: If it's yes, you've got to figure out how do I coach these people to get the most out of them.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Not by threatening them, and I really like posing this scenario and question on managers.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: I say this have you developed a sense that others want to be on your team Because you're going to help them achieve their highest level of success?
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: And you're going to do it in a manner where they can still go home and be nice to their family.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: You're going to do it in a manner which they are excited to come to work to earn a living.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: And those that develop that following of people that want to come work for them not because they'll be buddy-buddy They'll be hard on them when they need to be hard on, but only because they want them to improve.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: And if you can this is a tough one if you can develop that and word travels within the industry, you'll have people lined up to come work for you.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but again that's not to come work for you because you're the nicest guy and you invite them over for Christmas and you do this and you do that.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: It's no, you're respectful to them.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: You cared about them and their goals, but you push them to get to the next level to achieve those you know there's a lot of, a lot of that.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: That's really good, A big thing, and I think a lot of times managers miss.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: No different than whenever you parent your child, but this is a little bit different.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: The consequential part of it is whenever you go in and wrongfully address an employee and then the customer sees it.
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: And then I had a customer that the employee had done something they should not have done and it really made the manager mad and he went and addressed the employee where he thought was out of vision of the customer and the customer ended up not buying because of how he felt like he didn't know the whole story, thought he was really coming down on him and treating him wrongfully.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: But that one is more detrimental than oh my gosh of going through there.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: So you have to really make sure.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: So what's the other side of that?
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: So we've talked about how to that you need to, but what about if you don't?
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: What if you were just a nice guy and you don't address it?
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: What does that do to the team?
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Here's what I see when people do not address issues that need to be addressed.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: This is going to be a gut check for some people out there.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: If you think everything's okay, yeah, okay, what happens?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Let me tell you what's going to happen with your workforce.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: The average and below average people will stay with you.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: The top performers will leave.
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: You know they will leave.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Your top producers will leave your team because they want to go somewhere where they're going to be encouraged, coached and pushed to be at their highest level.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Top performers don't want to be around where average or below average is tolerated and accepted.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: No, because think about we talk about.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: You want to be an average of the five people you hang out with, and if the people around you are people that show up late, don't meet or exceed their goals, don't put in a good effort, don't try hard, don't follow the process, don't hold up the same standard that you are held to, they don't enjoy that.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I don't know right, even if they're the top of your board because everyone else is average, they still don't enjoy that.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: There's a first part to it.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Now here's the second part, um the culture.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: So what happens when you don't address a tough conversation or conflict, that now, within your workplace, the culture will start to shift and change because they're like they're not going to address that, it's not a big deal, don't worry about it.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: And then, all of a sudden, the way we talk, the way we treat each other, our customers, the attention to detail they're like well, there's no downfall, they're not going to address that, just who cares?
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, don't follow up with them.
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: Don't offer that customer water, don't show them where they actually need to go.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: You know, don't take the time to ask the other question and actually care about that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: It'll start eroding your culture, which then again, you know, just a thousand cuts at a time.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: This thing happens just because you didn't want to have that difficult conversation yeah cheek piss.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: Good, no, it really is.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: It really is um, you know, going into there.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: So, uh, hey, I got a fun fact quiz that we're going to dive into there.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Okay, fun fact quiz, I'm gonna be able to throw you off, I'm gonna be able to go into what you got what was the first car to ever break 100 miles an hour?
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: don't worry, I've got your multiple choice, so it's a.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, so you're gonna think it's a.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Just because of the name of it, anybody thinks fast car.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Anything else but a bugatti type 35, b, b, ford, model T?
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: It better be going downhill with dynamite in the back.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine doing 100 in a Model T?
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: I've driven the Model A a couple times and no sir, did you get 20 in it.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I made 30.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, C a Benz Lightning.
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, d a Nippier E the 1905 Gobron Breyer.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: That sounds like a fish that's got the light over the top of its head.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: That's one of the European models or something I don't know.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: What are y'all's thoughts?
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I know you have the answer and you know, but I know it's not the model we're looking for.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I'm probably going to take it out of your list there.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Tell us, the correct is the 1905 Gobron Breyer.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: Tell us what is it?
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: The correct is the 1905 Gobron Breyer.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: It hit 103 miles an hour in 1905, driven by French racer Louis Rigolois 120 years ago, powered by a massive four-cylinder motor like a rocket-powered wagon.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Hey, there's two things I think about there.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: One, that they even had an engine powerful enough to propel some 100 miles an hour back then, which is like right when the gas motor even got in.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that thing was chugging.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Two what were the road conditions in 1905?
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: Cobblestone?
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: You know what it's like doing 100 on a back road right now.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: It'll work pretty good.
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: Can you imagine in 1905?
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: The suspension had to be good it was the French, yeah, french comment on.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: So, even if it was cobblestone like that, you know, hold on.
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: I mean, people were different back then.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe this is when the Bonneville Salt Flats were discovered.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: The French came to the.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Bonneville Salt.
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: Flats In 1905.
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: You'd be better off sitting there on the Autobahn.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: They were going through the hills Back in 1905, it's got 103.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: So, diving into the next topic there, when empathy turns into enabling, there's a difference between support and excuses.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: There's a difference between support and excuses, and I think this kind of rolls straight off your question.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: You were talking about letting a poor performer linger and you keep taking excuses as why I couldn't sell that many.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Oh, these customers were hard.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: No one's answering their phones, you know.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: The list goes on and on.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: And how they were difficult.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: So what have y'all seen there that is really stood out.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: You know, I think naturally we want to give people opportunities and I don't know like I'm going to my brain right now like why that is.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Besides that humans don't naturally like conflict.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: But I think we all growing up whether it was in sports or academics or, you know, our first job at some point in time we came across somebody that micromanaged every single piece of what we did, and in the back of your mind you're like, hey, just give me a chance here, I'll work it out, and if I don't do it, then come back and readdress me.
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: But you're going to have to let me fail a little bit to figure that out and coach me, but then give me the opportunity to accomplish that and by you just nitpicking everything about me, I can't even move forward.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and so in my brain that's kind of always stuck in there, some probably sometimes too far.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: The other way of like give the people the tools they need back off, let them be successful, but there's a slippery slope I know I've been down.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: Is that you let them go too far down the slope without going?
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: Hey, now I need to jump in and help you to be successful, and it gets too far away.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: I think that's a thing of finding that balance but also having checkpoints.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: So, hey, how's it going?
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: Checking the temperature, checking the progression, checking the performance and then allowing to make adjustments along the way.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: It's like that's great.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: First two weeks, look good.
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: I see that you're at 80%, 80%, 80%, 80%, look good.
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: And then I see the 40 and the 30.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Let's look at those and see if I can give some direction there or if there's something we could change in our process to get that up to your 80 percent that you're on everywhere else you know I'll say that I was going to say this on the last part, but I'll bring it up now because it it plays a part here.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: You know in the past the way our organization was ran, we really didn't have any conversation with employees unless something was going bad, you know.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: So if you think about that, you know, besides our meetings to bring somebody in one on one, you were bringing them in really because there was an issue about them or someone in their department so that was maybe twice a year, uh-huh, once a year.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about going by the desk like how you doing no, no, this is going, it's like in my office really is.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: So then it became really awkward to call somebody like hey, can you come to?
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: my office.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: They're awkward.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: You're awkward, it's just awkward.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: No, this is a prime example on when we hired talent.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: That was beyond what we knew to bring to our organization how it has and we're not 100 percent here yet, ok, but it has started to change the ease of that.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: So we hired a new HR manager that was good at performing performance reviews on a monthly or quarterly basis.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: That established hey, we're going to talk about your performance good, bad or ugly, we're going to talk about it.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and those first few.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: There's not anything improvement or negative that even comes up.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: So then everybody's used to communicating and talking about that.
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: Now I'm saying that on the other side of this microphone, like it's easy and we've got it nailed.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: It's not, no, but we have found that once we have that conversation more often, then it's easy.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: She'll be like you talked about then to tip into it yes, hey, what do you see about this?
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: How can we grow here?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: What could I do better?
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like hey, give a couple wins before you talk about the loss.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: That's really good there.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: I'm just understanding that.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: But well, have a conversation that doesn't always have to be the hard conversation.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: I guess I would say yeah, and really learning how to communicate.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: That's probably been good.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: It's not.
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: I sit on this side of the desk, you sit on that side of the desk.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: It's really going to whatever person you're managing and being in their area.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I found that really helpful and Shelby's helped me with that before.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: With difficult managers that it's like I know I need to sit down and do this.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Are we going to go and sit in an office away from everywhere else?
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: It's no, no.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: You go to that person and some of it needs to be private, where obviously no one else is around, but go to their area and communicate how they communicate and go through there, the door, the wall, everything is down, and you'll get way more accomplished way more point.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: That's like the other way of like, hey, come to my office, that's taking the fish out of the water.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you know, it's taking the animal out of their habitat.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: And they're just, they're like and you're not gonna get the real no.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: So if you can ease your way into sitting down at the desk working on this, like, hey, I'm just gonna work on sports, I'm gonna hang out, you only have to explain that like one time.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: Or you just sit down and they're like, oh, what's this guy doing?
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Pretty quickly their stage face is gone and they're back to oh yeah.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: And so then you can kind of hear some tendencies and see the process and you're like, hey, I like that.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: How long they've been doing that?
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: Hey, I think that's good.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Where'd they get that from?
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: It's like hey, have, hey, have you noticed that person B, that they, every time a customer comes to the front door, that they duck down or that they seem like they're on the phone, or like, when a person pulls up in the service drive, that they go to the bathroom.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Have you noticed that?
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: And they're like, yeah, it's like, have you talked to them about it?
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: No, oh well, why don't we work on that next time you just go hang out next to their desk when the customer pulls up like, oh hey, I think that's Ms Johnson, let's get rid of them, right, but that's so right If you can go in their spot, it just once again.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: This is not about confrontation Like the I'm right, you're wrong.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: It's about conveying the communication of what's expected.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: That's really important and I remind people about this.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: We talked about this on the customer front, but both employees too.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: As a manager, you need to remember to check your ego at the door, and you know there's an old saying out there.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: You know lose the battle to win the war.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I'm not worried about if I'm right or wrong in a situation.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: What I'm worried about is am I helping this person be successful in the dealership?
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Be successful, yeah, and if I got to take it on the chin for something that maybe is in the gray area and they're blaming on me, I'll take it on the chin if it'll allow the wall to come down where then they're coachable to then, in the future, fix this entire thing right.
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: Um, the other thing you need to remember out there you're like, okay, this sounds great, I've got to incorporate this into my business.
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: You got to start at the top.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: You know we found that with our managers we were talking about one-on-ones and reviews, but if we had not done that with the manager one, they didn't know how to do it.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: And then two, if we hadn't done it with them, they didn't think it was that important, you know.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: So now I'll do that with them, and then they have to turn in their results, or at least a recap.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: When they've talked to theirs, they know the expectations, because this naturally doesn't just happen.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: They know the expectations, because this naturally doesn't just happen.
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: No, it doesn't, it doesn't at all.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: You know, in going through there, the biggest deal of that whenever you don't address that, you don't have that expectation with your manager, it continues to go into letting the same issue slide and it just creates that whole toxic environment.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Same issue slide and it just creates that whole toxic environment.
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: Like you said, it just keeps slashing away, keeps cutting away and you look at it and it's completely eroded, your whole culture so you allow you, you enable that one person to do something that's not directly what you expect and like oh no, they turn a lot of hours, they sell a lot of cars.
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: People love them, right?
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're great with customers.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: What's happened is your cost, is your other employees.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: They've just come and gone.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: You know like why'd steve leave, where'd bill go and where's sarah?
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: You know all these things.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: And like you've got toxic tom out back that just coaches and counsels the friendly this, this and this, but he's just getting in the middle to make sure no one's disrupting his cheese hey, tara, I think back, you know, on the title of of this part here where it talks about empathy into enabling the.
• 34:55
  Speaker 1: We have gone through this as we scaled our business.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: What we found that if we give too much control to a department manager, their emotions and their empathy gets involved.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: So what we wanted to do, what the best thing?
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: And we tried to coach and coach and coach through that and then we found and we just have to come up with a process or a policy that then they can leverage or even blame I mean, he's the word blame, even blame.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is, this is the corporate policy.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: I have to uphold this.
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: The slippery slope there is when they give people extra time off, like to go to a dentist appointment or pick up this or pick up their dogs, because they get too involved.
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: They get too involved, their empathy's involved, yeah you know.
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: But then everybody else sees that and it starts enabling the entire department.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: Why can't I, you let him?
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: She's always gone, and then you look up and you've got nobody to help your customers out, right?
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: So I think what we've learned there too, and we tried to coach through that, is like no, we have to give something black and white that people can point back towards to say, no, this is this.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And then we tell them hey, is there a gray area where exceptions have to be made?
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, but in order to do that, you have to type up an email.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: It will get reviewed at our next board of directors meeting and then we'll vote on it.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: And if all the details aren't there, you know we can't talk about it.
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: So, what?
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: That, which that's proper, right, yeah, that happens.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: There's not just pie in the sky, that actually happens.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: What that does no different than saying, hey, when a manager or somebody brings me ideas like hey, I think that's great, will you bring me a business plan, an action plan, a game plan, with three different sources, your pick and the cost of all those?
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: Bring that to me in a proposal and then let's go over it.
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: You're never going to see it.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, 90 times out of 100, 99 times out of 100, you'll never hear about it again.
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: So if you tell your employee hey, here's what we need to do, we can submit that to the board.
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: That's outside of our normal policies.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: Here's what the policy is written you get x, you get x, you get x.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: We'll submit that to the board.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: If you'll write me up a letter, it's going to squash that, but it still lets you know that you're kind, that you heard them, that you understand them.
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: Now, when they go talk to their buddy, they're not gonna be like well, they were, they kindly let me down, you know, but they're gonna be like it was policy.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: They gave me opportunity to submit to the board, but I know what the board's gonna say you want to know why policy is so important and we deal with this with top performers.
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: We do this to top performers.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: They mom, dad, the fire out of your organization and if you think this door right here is the only door they're gonna go, to listen, your top performers, your racehorses, always kick the stall.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: They always cause a problem, but whenever it's race day they run, so that's why you have them.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Well, you have employees that will go from a department manager to then maybe over to HR, because they're like hey, I talked to mom, it's okay, we're good there If you're all in tune with policies and procedures.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I had one that the department manager didn't agree with.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Him went to HR and HR was like no, if you don't agree with your department manager, you need to go to your next higher level manager.
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: And so then it got over to me and I said, no, let's revert back to this.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: And so it was black and white, staying exactly.
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: And guess what?
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: They didn't go do what they were going to do.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: Which, on the downside of that, if you think about that, people have to set their thoughts of actually having the ability to make a decision, because what will happen is they'll go to mom, they'll go to dad, they'll go to uncle, they'll go to aunt, and one of those managers has this high and mighty feeling that I am able to make these decisions, that I can say yes or no to uncle.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: They'll go to aunt, and one of those managers has this high and mighty feeling that I am able to make these decisions, oh yeah, that I can say yes or no.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: And so they'll revert away from policy just by.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: And it's generally they're saying yes, sure, right, uh, and I'm not saying hey, I'm taking that control away.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying hey, see paragraph four on page six, and then, if that follows that you make that decision, that's on you absolutely.
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: But that, because otherwise they get hung up and like, no, I told him, yeah, I can do that.
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: Am I not head of this department or not?
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, you are, but you need to follow the policy there, and so if you can get them to check their ego at the door and just go by the rules, that's insert a little human, that's it.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: I Insert a little human, that's it.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: I think what's important here too and it's not even in here, but I'm just going to briefly hit on it is you've got to make sure how connected or how close you get to your employees.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: And you know we've got some managers, especially if they were promoted from within, then they're still going to lunch with all the same people, they're hanging out on the weekends with those same people.
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they're playing video games with those same people, but now they're in a manager role and you can't effectively manage if you're too close emotionally to somebody, because you'll let things slide that's.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: That's such a good point, but it's so real because we we often see that and it's like, well, now they're coming over for fight night or no, we're going to the lake or no, we're gonna go out and watch this concert.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: It's like, well, you told me to get to know my employees, right?
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: Like don't we say that, get to know your employees?
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: Like yeah, but find that line I'm not saying it's wrong or what you're doing is not proper all the time, but it's every now and then it's every now and then.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: And so then the devil's advocate's like so, you want me to hang, who do you want me to hang out with?
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Right, I spent 80 of my life at work, or whatever you know.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: So who do you want me to hang out with?
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: And it's like well, you got to figure that out.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: Like you got to figure that out because, I mean, it's not like we're having people over to our house, all of our employees and functions, like that.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: It's not because we don't want to welcome people.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: It's just when it's time to make that hard decision that's based on facts and policies, you don't want them over the thing.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: Like well, dude, I come over to your house for steaks yeah we're like hey, I thought you were gonna let me come hunt over there, you know all these things like, yeah, we're going to well, what happens if you carpool with one of them and that day you have to address something?
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: you're gonna get the tea.
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: You better get an uber on the way home.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: So so again, it's just all this is a fine line you're trying to balance through there, but you might?
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: I mean this is too hard to do.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: It's not too hard if you want your business to continue to scale and if you want to continue to grow and so the alter ego to that is they will respect you for holding them accountable not always in the moment, but like you know what this guy stands for something he says, what he does, what he says he's gonna do.
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: He, you know he doesn't always let me get away with it and I respect him for that.
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: It pisses me off sometimes but I respect.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, right, that's right.
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: I mean going back up to the top there where it says the most expensive thing in business, avoiding hard conversations.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: So you're just like I'm the nice guy, right?
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: No but that directly relates to.
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: If you look at your pnl and you look at your business, your highest expense is what your people it's your people, it's your people.
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: So if your highest expense is your people now I'm gonna play the other side of it it's also your highest roi yes, revenue, you know what I mean.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: Then you're gonna have to have those difficult conversations.
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: You know, you just are absolutely no, that's part of it.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: just just knowing they're, then you're going to have to have those difficult conversations.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: You just are.
• 42:18
  Speaker 2: Absolutely no, that's part of it.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Just knowing their emotional leadership is good, but emotional manipulation from team members is real.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: So making sure you stay in that.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: All right, Mythbusters time.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, so bringing you, if you're, this is a Mythbuster right here.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: So if you're a good leader, people will always like you.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: That's the same.
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: You want my answer.
• 42:39
  Speaker 3: If you're a good leader, people will always like you.
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: No.
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's your opinion.
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: If you're a good leader, people will always like you.
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: That's a feeling of a lot of people.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: It is A lot of leaders, a lot of people.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: It is a lot of leaders, a lot of managers that is busted.
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: That is not true.
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: Not true.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: That is not true.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: Do not gauge performance and or how good am I doing based on how many people like you right.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: The farther you move up, the lower it is.
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: Your job is not to get people to like you.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: No, your job is to help them be more successful.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Yep, yes, yep.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: You know you're going to build an interactive team that, like is amazing, that works well together, and you're going to build some relationships with those people.
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: It needs to be a working relationship.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: It's like, dude, I like working with you.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: This is good yin and yang figuring this out, but it's not like we're not trying to descale from our house now that I moved into, all the way back to the four-person condo of I'm bunking with Phil.
• 43:48
  Speaker 3: That's not what it's about.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: So you have to keep the main thing, the main thing, all right.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: So last here, lead with clarity, not comfort.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: We're leading with clarity, not comfort.
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: So I want to start you out with a real-world scenario, because I like stories, so I'm not just talking from the Urban Dictionary.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Saturday, I'm in the sales tower.
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: I like hanging out at the sales tower.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: We've already talked about why.
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: It allows me to understand what I need to teach on and coach on what's going on, get a pulse, real world pulse and see how I can help.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: Some of these are busy days.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: Maybe I can help appraise cars, print numbers, look for second looks, whatever it may be, and sometimes I need to lead with this.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we think we've talked and communicated very well about the situation, which may be true, but you've not talked, communicated and worked through with that with actually the person.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Right, you've talked, communicated and worked through with others, but not the actual person.
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: There's one of our employees, it's working on this and they're like this person's not moving fast enough, they're losing control of the customer, the customer's getting bored, and then they come back to ask a question.
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: Then they come back to ask a question.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: These are commonly known questions that they should know the answers to, and so each time you have to come back and forth, you're losing connection with the customer.
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: And so some of the managers are like, wow, they're doing this, oh, they're doing this.
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: I'm like in my mind, I'm like, okay, where do I go with this, where do I go with this?
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: And we've had multiple conversations about this person.
• 45:19
  Speaker 3: Hey, here's what you need to do, here's what you need to address, give them time, tools and training before you make any decisions.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: And so finally, they come in there and they go to the other managers, they're sure, and so they start talking, and before the manager start talking, I say hold on, and and the person is with a customer.
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: The customer's not in there, right?
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: So I'm not trying to completely retrain this dog, this dog here, but I have to address it.
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: Look, here's the deal.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: This is how we process it.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: We don't your story.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: This is not a fireside chat story time.
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: Customers are here to buy vehicles and we need to reduce the time it takes to process the deal.
• 46:03
  Speaker 3: Are we clear?
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: And they say, uh-huh, I said, but you keep saying the customer talks so much but you're not helping them transact through this.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: You can keep asking questions, so do not come back in here until you've completely filled out the credit app.
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: You have a copy of the driver's license and this is the 12th time you've come in today and have not put them in the system.
• 46:24
  Speaker 3: So we can see it and work on it, and I'm not mad at you.
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying you're fired.
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: I'm just telling you, you're still talking your customers over there, are still needing something and you're in here giving a damage report.
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: So please go back with a smile on your face and say, hey, my apologies, I forgot to hit the button for my managers to work on it, and then come back with no other discussion.
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: And so then the managers after they left, like they had very clear the employee had very clear what I should do without any sugar coat, which when I deliver without sugar coat, people are like dang, that's not nice.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: I'm like that was kind, it's direct.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: I told them very directly what needs to be done.
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: And so the manager's like oh my gosh.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: And I was like oh my gosh, because you haven't clearly communicated that with the customer.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: I mean the employee, josh, because you haven't clearly communicated that with the customer, I mean the employee.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: We're doing them a disservice if we talk about it, but we never clearly talk about it with the employee, because they think that they're doing grand and they're coming in here giving us the whole damage report.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: We don't need it.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: I just need to know what's the customer's name, what's going on, how to structure the deal so I can quickly, that's it.
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: But they're giving them the whole, all the stuff, and so I had to lead with clarity, not comfort.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: Like I get it, customers are tough.
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: It's hot, uh-huh.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: I was just like enough, stop yeah.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: And so understanding clear expectations equal respect.
• 47:52
  Speaker 3: Vague kindness equals confusion.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: I think you, you know, through your story there you define that pretty clearly, and you'll be more respected when you give clear expectations.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I've been caught up before too, though, when I've had vague kindness and I'm like tippy-toeing around it, yeah, like either trying to like say it in a joking manner or talking about it over here, maybe out of context.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: But I'm really talking about that person, yeah, but I'm trying to talk about a third party.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: I think that happens, naturally it does, but then there's confusion.
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, was that about me?
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Was that about me?
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: Or even worse?
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I'm glad I'm not like that.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: That's them over there that person you know that's what happens and I have to be reminded about that of like no, you'll be respected more and the employee will actually appreciate it if, respectfully, you clearly address them in the right manner instead of just this vague and naturally, like you said, you want to be vague.
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: You want to be like, oh, they'll get it.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: It they'll get what I'm talking about, but they don't.
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: You know, that sometimes will happen in a meeting.
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: We don't have grand meetings of lots of people where there's a whole lot of discussion, but like in a manager style meeting, sometimes I fall into that.
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: This is, if you're not paying attention.
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: This is me saying I don't have this figured out and I'm not the best at this, so I might.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: There might be an issue with that specific manager, and so I cover it with everyone, because I don't want someone else to have that issue right, I want everyone to experience that.
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: Sure, so we don't have to each individually experience that lack of running the customer through the car wash or whatever it may be.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: But then then I don't directly then have a sit down afterwards or before and say, hey, I'm talking about you right?
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you say that and I laugh because I've been there before is if you've got eight people in the room and you're addressing them all, seven of the eight probably got what you're talking about.
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: The one that didn't get it was the one you were talking about you know what I mean.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, and it just like you.
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: Your top performers come back to you later and they're like hey, I heard what you said this morning.
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: How can I do better at that?
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: yeah, and you're like man you're.
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: You're thinking in your mind you're killing it.
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: I wasn't talking about you, but thanks for asking.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's the one you were talking about.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: It was like man, dude.
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I'm glad I'm not like whoever he was talking about.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: I think both of those are relevant in ways to address, but you need to address both individually, right, because you're not going to waste a good failure for everyone to learn on.
• 50:29
  Speaker 3: But you also need to very specifically say hey and you probably should have that individual one first and say, hey, we need to go over this, this, this and this the way that you get into it, you talk about it and then you build them back up and then say, hey, I'm also going to use this with the group so that we don't have this issue again.
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: Right, that's good.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: And then you kind of lead into that yeah, that's great.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so important the clarity that's probably my biggest deal of having problems with, of being going through and managing people and helping employees and anything else that I'm pretty quiet.
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: It starts out at a lower level and it's like no, let's do better, let's do this, let's do that, let's do this, let's do that until it's finally to the end and I want to take you and throw you off the top of the building because it finally hits full throttle and they're like whoa, he's kind of serious, we must have done something bad which works out good.
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: Because whenever I'm serious and people are like, oh, we screwed up, this is not good, yeah, and I've learned to dial that in a little bit more so it'll come on.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Uh, not like a full-blown supercharger that you just hit your nitrous wide open that it eases into.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: But it's so important to do that because your team, the ones that give you backlash or anything else, they're your employees that need to be moved on with.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: The ones that take correction step back and they come back.
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: They're going to come back stronger, they're going to work harder.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Your team's going to be closer.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: So don't be so concerned about.
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: Hey, I'm over direct, I'm over clear with this whole situation and I won't like it because we won't mesh as well together.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: We won't well, it's no different than working out together.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Being together during that whole time, you just get stronger and you work better.
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: Whenever the fast pace really comes on, whenever all the customers show up, whenever the bad situation happens, they're the team that you want to have in your back pocket, because it's going to work really good, because you've made the reps and worked through it there.
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: You have.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: I want to point something out here that you do have to identify through all this, and it's your leadership and your personality.
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: Okay, because you can't be somebody you're not.
• 52:39
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use myself as an example here, after I use Taylor.
• 52:42
  Speaker 1: So Taylor talked about his personality, as you know, very back off.
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: Hey, let me help you, let me help you, what can I do for you?
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: And then wham Okay, what can I do for you?
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: And then wham Okay.
• 52:55
  Speaker 1: And then you take Shelby, and Shelby, naturally, is a better story joke teller, funny, he can give people a hard time and people laugh about it and this and that.
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: And then we're, I get labeled as being really serious, so, and I'll be like, okay, every once in a while I need to not be so serious.
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: And then I'll try to joke with somebody, and it's like a bomb went off Because I hear Shelby joking with somebody.
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, matt, chill out a little bit, like you've got to joke just a little bit, and I'll try to joke with them, and they will take it the wrong way and again, you're not going to change that leadership style.
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: But how can you adapt to be better with it?
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: Right, it's one of those things, without trying to show up with the new trendy stuff, yeah, and you know, it's no different than when I drug you guys to go buy some jordans.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right, because selfishly it's like, hey, I need some jordans.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: Right, you know, like I've been wearing the same new balance 86 50s to mow my lawn and now I'm wearing them to work and I wear dress shoes and dress pants, like it's not that serious.
• 54:00
  Speaker 3: So you guys are like this is so.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: And Matt was the worst.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: He's like this is so awkward and it's just like whatever.
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: And then he was studying them.
• 54:09
  Speaker 3: He wanted to know the inseam and the bounce and the jump and the length.
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: I was like, not that difficult.
• 54:16
  Speaker 3: Uh, yes, sir, he'll take two of those.
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: And he's like I didn't, I wouldn't even look at those.
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I'm paying for it, let's go.
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: But then when you showed up with um, you know they're like dang tanner, those are cool jordans.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: They're like shelby, those are sweet.
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: And we had never worn jordans before.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: They were taken so far off like, oh, my matt lewis has on a pair of jordans and they're not even tied, you know, and it was like his kids were like that, like what the heck, dad.
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Well, they saw mine first.
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: The kids did and I was like has your dad not shown you his matt hadn't even taken him out of his truck.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: Oh you of the box it was just like.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: So that is.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: You know, after we had the ultimate challenge auction with service, I was going around talking to people because I like to joke and be around the people, right, and everyone has a different personality, and Jordan was telling me she was like and she gives me a good pulse on what people say she's like oh, oh my gosh, like.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: People know that you're like like fun, this and that and like exciting, and they know that taylor's like the laughable one, this and like.
• 55:22
  Speaker 3: But people were just like oh my gosh, I didn't realize matt could be like that.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: I was like like what, like, what do you mean?
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: They're like well, he was intense and then he was like wound up and I was like yeah, that yeah that's Matt.
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: It's no different than our family.
• 55:37
  Speaker 2: I'll hear from family.
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: They'll describe us three and I know Matt obviously is brother and going through everything else and we laugh.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: I'm like no, he's pretty serious.
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: I'm like no, he's not.
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: No, he's not.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: You just haven't peeled back the layers to be able to see.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: And it's fun to be able to pour that into business and be able to do that, yep.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: So that's you know.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: Hey, we're giving you under the hood of like, let's be real.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: Like, hey, we're telling you exactly what to do.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: It's not because this is exactly what we do, no, we're learning it's what we've learned, you've got to adapt to your personality, because I can't be you, you can't be Taylor.
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: We can still follow the same path with our own charisma.
• 56:20
  Speaker 1: Clarity's still there, expectation's still there.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: But you also have to be who you are.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: You do.
• 56:27
  Speaker 3: You have to be genuine and people see that they can see through it if you're not.
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: So a couple other notes Tough love done, right.
• 56:35
  Speaker 3: Tough love done right, right, you don't have to give them what they expect, right, hey, this is this, this needs to be a split deal.
• 56:41
  Speaker 3: And they always feel like they get their split deals, like it's OK to say no, based on facts.
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: Right, you need to be direct, you need to be respectful and you need to have consistent feedback.
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: We did this because this.
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: No, we're not allowing this because of this.
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: And then you're looking like hey, is that policy still good?
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: Is it relevant?
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: Does everyone still feel the same way?
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: You're going through those things there and then having systems of accountability.
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: That shows you care enough to correct.
• 57:12
  Speaker 3: I know, you know that they're not like hey, don't even bring that up anymore.
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: They're not going to listen, there's nothing going to change there.
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: They are what they are.
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: Matt's serious.
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: Shelby's just going to joke about it.
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: Taylor will listen to it, and then he does what he does.
• 57:25
  Speaker 3: You know, yeah, like.
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: So you have to understand that systems of accountability that show you care enough to correct.
• 57:34
  Speaker 2: Diving into that I not to correct that's it dive into that?
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna ask, I'm gonna change this up a little bit, but of you know tough conversations, tough calls, this is for both y'all to answer and go through what's something you've had great success with, of going through there, so of a situation that you ultimately didn't want to do but then had had great results with it, or something good that turned out from it.
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: I would say with that and it's double-edged.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Like you said, it was one of the hardest calls I had to make but then it turned into success.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: And it's when you have to part ways with a top performer.
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: And I can remember early in my career and it was a really tough one because it was one of the first times I did this when I was a sales manager and I had to part ways with our top performer that was a salesperson.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I had inherited him on the team.
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: He had some really bad habits, was always pouring into others, sold a lot of cars, you know, didn't do anything ethically wrong, but just didn't lift up the culture.
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: And he had a cost list on all the vehicles and he was the only one that had an office upstairs and he, honestly, he had sold cars for longer than I was old at that point, you know.
• 58:48
  Speaker 1: But it was just holding the whole team back from elevating up.
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: Once we parted ways, I didn't instantly have somebody step into his shoes or his production, but the whole team stepped up, which equaled an overall bigger result.
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so I'm gonna flip that a little bit of a tough call making in leadership.
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: At this point.
• 59:09
  Speaker 3: I was not in leadership, I was at the receiving side of this tough call.
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: And it's funny because now, like nobody died, not the end of the world, Nobody got fired, but I use it constantly to use, for example, but in 2000, I don't know, let's just call it 2010, during the summers of my college I would come back and work in the dealership.
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: I worked in parts, worked in service, and then it was like hey, it's your time to work in sales.
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: Matt was the general manager at the time.
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: I was in college, just, you know, respectable kid, but a kid that was just being a kid.
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: My office was over by the air conditioner.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: There was a half of a desk facing the wall.
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: You know, like dealer kid just getting the corner office with a window.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: It was not and it was because it was all that was available right.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: But there was a filing cabinet, my desk, the air conditioning and then the straight up the stairs.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: Like you had to go around and everyone used these stairs to go up to a filing house.
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 3: And so Matt puts me here.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 3: I've only got three months to sell.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 3: So it's not like, hey, let's slowly onboard, you get you trained.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: It's like, hey, look, you need to get out there and sell as much as you can.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, solid, let's go.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: I've never sold cars for a living, sure thing.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: And then the manager's like, hey, just tell me, you're the owner's son.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 3: Like they need to help you out.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 3: It's like that's gonna go gold.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: And I'm not.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: I'm not that outward of a person, I'm not like, hey, I'm the owner's son, help me out.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: I'll be like, hey, what's your name, son?
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, my name's steve, and I'm just here to help you.
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 3: So the old general manager's office matt's office at the time had a window over the showroom and a window over the uh, parking lot and I remember going out and talking to the customer.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: I don't remember Jack, about the customer or the deal, but I remember talking to the customer and then I remember sitting down.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 3: I think I had a cell phone this time I don't really remember, but I remember Matt calling me some way or another calls me up to his office.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 3: Now I remember the conversations, even brother to brother.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 3: Back then a conversation generally was not a good one.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah Right, he's like, hey, come in here, close the door.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, week two doing this.
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: He's like, hey, who are you talking to out there?
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, that's robert.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: He's like, okay, what's robert doing?
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh, he's just looking, he's gonna talk to his wife.
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: I don't know, you know just what everyone says.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: He's like, okay, did you tell your manager?
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 3: It's like I told him after they left.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: He's like well, did you not get your manager so they could talk to him.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: He's like no, why would I do that, you know?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: And he he was like hey, and he used this as a you know, as a segue, without saying you're fired, get the heck out of here.
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 3: He was like I need you to be very clear in understanding this, that this is what I teach the team and if I haven't told you yet, I'm telling you now.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 3: Your responsibility is to serve the customer at the highest level.
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 3: But if you cannot transact with that customer, you need to get them TO a turnover so they can introduce to the manager before they leave.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 3: And our policy is if you don't do that, you'll be written up and then, if you continue to do that, you'll be relieved of your job.
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 3: I was like aye, aye, captain, good to see you.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 3: Brother, I'm gonna get back to work right, not fun on him, I can tell you, sitting in his seat.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 3: No, not fun to do it right on my seat.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: I'm like screw you dude.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: I don't even have to work here.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: What am I?
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 3: like what am I doing?
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 3: Right, I'm in college, I'm just thinking if I can go drink or hang out on a boat somewhere.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 3: But here I am 30, I'm over here by the fine cabinet, and so now I get to use that as a conversation, teaching managers or sales people that I realize like on sat.
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: I'm like hey, come here, can I explain something to you?
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 3: My older brother had this conversation with me, and if he had it with me, don't you think that it makes sense for you to understand that as well?
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 3: And they're like he did that to you.
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: I was like yeah, he told me if I did not do that, he was going to fire me.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they're like huh.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: I was like so is there any reason that you can't allow us to talk to the customer?
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: They're like no, I guess I can do that.
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: I was like okay, perfect, if you have any questions, let me know.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 3: If you need help of figuring out that word track to get that done, let me know.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 3: But it's real.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: So that was you know I was want to do this, but I don't want to because then the sales managers like, if you didn't do that one, they weren't going to do it because I was who I was right, they weren't touching me with a 10-foot pole for whatever reason.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but that was a monumental moment there of just having that tough conversation yeah, that was huge.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 2: You know, growing up through family or anything else.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: Matt's had several of those conversations.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: He's got to be dad in the situation because dad directed us but uh, he's been the one that's taught us everything that's come up to the situation.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: So I had several of those of not a whole lot was said, but it's like, come here in my office and it's not know, here we go again and screw it up.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, I need to fix it, but it's for the better and obviously appreciate that.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 2: But no of having um workers that you work with or managers or brothers.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: In our cases it's worked so well because we work well as brothers.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: But there's been clear expectations of like, hey, I've got to listen, I've got to learn everything else there.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 2: So that's been really good throughout the years.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: But great conversation today, a lot of information that was good, going over, leading with clarity when empathy turns into enabling and making sure.
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 2: Don't avoid that conflict.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: And stop being so nice.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 3: Stop being so nice.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 3: Be clear, be kind, but don't be so nice.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: There's a difference between kindness and niceness.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 3: Be kind, people will respect you.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 3: Episode 48, we broke it down.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 2: Check us out on lewissuperstorecom and always on crossroadsconversationpodcastcom.
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 2: If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to give it a like, share it with your friends and family and visit our website to send us questions about what you would like to know about the automotive industry or family business in general.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: Who do you want to hear from?
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: Send them our way and we'll do our best to answer any questions that you have.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: Thank you again and we'll see you in future shows.