Latest / DA CREW Podcast / LET THE HEALING BEGIN with APOSTLES DR KIMBERLY & LEE THOMAS JR

Transcript

LET THE HEALING BEGIN with APOSTLES DR KIMBERLY & LEE THOMAS JR · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Truth ism tied.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Options of I'm trying to.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Pray, but where.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm all church.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: Hurting of you?
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: I can't pay what to.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Truthis?
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: I'm no strength to fa no tea is to crack
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: even hef I tried, but.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Still my s.
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: Refuse it to die? Mm hmmm, who wanted? Who will
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: change my mind? Take me to the king.
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: I don't have much to breathe. My heart's torn in peace,
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: says it's my awn for real.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: Lame me the stroll, Lead me there alone.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: To gain the pon.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: Your the rolling and singing to you the soun please
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: take me to the king. Truth is It's time to
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: stop lay these games.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Who in need or for the pee both?
• 2:07
  Speaker 6: Marriage isn't always perfect, but healing is always possible. Welcome
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: to let the healing begin With your hosts Apostles Lee
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: and Kimberly Thomas. This podcast tackles real life issues with
• 2:23
  Speaker 6: raw truth and a powerful his and her perspective. We
• 2:28
  Speaker 6: talk marriage, we talk sex, we talk lost love and
• 2:33
  Speaker 6: relational challenges. Couples don't always say out loud. If you're
• 2:38
  Speaker 6: ready for honest dialogue, faith filled insight, and a practical
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: wisdom that restores connection and strengthens your marriage. You're in
• 2:50
  Speaker 6: the right place. Come journey with us as we let
• 2:55
  Speaker 6: the healing begin.
• 3:03
  Speaker 7: Day, good evening, good evening, and welcome to let the
• 3:07
  Speaker 7: Healing Begin. We are your host Apostles Lee and Kimberly Thomas,
• 3:13
  Speaker 7: and we are so grateful that you have joined us
• 3:15
  Speaker 7: here tonight for our introduction of Let the Healing Begin.
• 3:22
  Speaker 7: We are here tonight we endeavor to give you honest
• 3:26
  Speaker 7: dialogue as we talk about real life, raw truth that
• 3:31
  Speaker 7: we deal with in marriage. As a disclaimer, we do
• 3:37
  Speaker 7: not claim to have mastered this thing called marriage, nor
• 3:42
  Speaker 7: do we have the monopoly on marriage. But one thing
• 3:45
  Speaker 7: that we do have is we have a marriage. We
• 3:48
  Speaker 7: have time, we have experience, and most of all, we
• 3:52
  Speaker 7: have a mandate from the Lord to God others on
• 3:56
  Speaker 7: their journey of healing through this life that we call
• 4:01
  Speaker 7: marriage life. And so tonight, as we delve into our topic,
• 4:07
  Speaker 7: we are coming to you just to let you know
• 4:10
  Speaker 7: that God ordained marriage God a God centered marriage is
• 4:15
  Speaker 7: a great marriage and it is very important. God said
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: that marriage was created by Him and it is good.
• 4:26
  Speaker 8: In the Bible, it says in Proverbs eighteen and twenty
• 4:30
  Speaker 8: two a man that finds a wife, find us a
• 4:34
  Speaker 8: good thing, and obtains favor of the Lord. But what
• 4:39
  Speaker 8: the Bible didn't tell you was the stuff that comes
• 4:42
  Speaker 8: along with it, the hurt, the pain, the abuse, the
• 4:47
  Speaker 8: things that were well hidden, the baggage. And my question
• 4:53
  Speaker 8: tonight is Foster care, what did you bring to the table?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Wow, that's a question.
• 5:02
  Speaker 7: And when we think about marriage, when I think about marriage,
• 5:06
  Speaker 7: and I think about the things that I brought to
• 5:10
  Speaker 7: the table when I came into this relationship. I came
• 5:14
  Speaker 7: into this relationship with a load of luggage, A load
• 5:19
  Speaker 7: of luggage, luggage that entailed a lot of childhood trauma,
• 5:25
  Speaker 7: a lot of things that I had experienced. Anyone who
• 5:29
  Speaker 7: knows me and have actually read about me and Free
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: from Broken Beginnings, which is my life story, knows that
• 5:38
  Speaker 7: I came from a background of incests, a background of abuse, sexual, physical,
• 5:45
  Speaker 7: mental abuse. And so these are things that I brought
• 5:49
  Speaker 7: to the table. These are things that I brought along
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: with me in our marriage.
• 5:55
  Speaker 8: Yes, you brought quite a bit with you. Yes, And
• 5:58
  Speaker 8: the problem that you know we have from the beginning with,
• 6:03
  Speaker 8: I didn't know all the stuff, but as well, I
• 6:06
  Speaker 8: brought some things as well. And the thing of it
• 6:10
  Speaker 8: is when we first meet, you know that we all
• 6:12
  Speaker 8: it was all happy, lucky. You know, you're just telling
• 6:15
  Speaker 8: lies to be honest, you know the best of you.
• 6:19
  Speaker 8: You want to you want to show that you know.
• 6:21
  Speaker 8: But after the shiny sparkling lights and you know I'm smarting. Yeah, yeah,
• 6:27
  Speaker 8: think about all the things I want to do. Reality
• 6:30
  Speaker 8: kicks in.
• 6:33
  Speaker 7: That is so true because you know, when you're dating,
• 6:38
  Speaker 7: as Apostle said, when you're dating, you're really just lying
• 6:42
  Speaker 7: because while you are with this person, you are making
• 6:47
  Speaker 7: up all types of facades you you are so in love,
• 6:51
  Speaker 7: you you pretend to be so in love, and a
• 6:53
  Speaker 7: lot of times we're lying because we're just trying to
• 6:56
  Speaker 7: please that person.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: That person does.
• 6:57
  Speaker 7: Not know who we really are are, or the attachments
• 7:03
  Speaker 7: or baggage that we bring to the relationship, because you're
• 7:08
  Speaker 7: trying to catch, you know, and when you're trying to catch,
• 7:11
  Speaker 7: you're trying to hook. You're trying to make sure you're
• 7:12
  Speaker 7: pleasing that person, trying to make sure that you're holding
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: on to that person, and that person's not going anywhere.
• 7:21
  Speaker 7: So you really are not honest up front when you
• 7:25
  Speaker 7: begin to date, when you come into a relationship and
• 7:30
  Speaker 7: not putting all your cards on the table leads to
• 7:34
  Speaker 7: that place of here we are.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Now, and we have become one.
• 7:41
  Speaker 7: But what we really didn't understand is, as the scripture says,
• 7:47
  Speaker 7: a man who finds a wife, finding the good thing
• 7:49
  Speaker 7: and obtains favor in the lord or from the lord.
• 7:53
  Speaker 7: But the thing that we really don't understand is that
• 7:56
  Speaker 7: when you find that good thing, that good thing did
• 7:59
  Speaker 7: not come with a warning label.
• 8:02
  Speaker 8: Or a diagram or a road. Now you have to
• 8:05
  Speaker 8: find these things out along the way. And the key
• 8:08
  Speaker 8: to it, at least for us, it was about being honest.
• 8:13
  Speaker 8: And that's one thing that's very hard to do because
• 8:17
  Speaker 8: you're looking at the individual that you chose to be
• 8:20
  Speaker 8: your wife, and now that you chose her, but she
• 8:24
  Speaker 8: had to accept you. You didn't give her your name,
• 8:29
  Speaker 8: you offered it to her. Once she accepted your name,
• 8:32
  Speaker 8: you became one. But were you really being fair with
• 8:35
  Speaker 8: one another? See the thing of it is, I'm looking
• 8:39
  Speaker 8: at you and I'm thinking this wonderful life I could
• 8:43
  Speaker 8: have and all this. But see, we had to learn
• 8:46
  Speaker 8: to get the I out the equation because when we
• 8:50
  Speaker 8: got together, I had a life and you were so
• 8:55
  Speaker 8: deep in church until it was like I had to
• 8:58
  Speaker 8: relearn you all over again, and then I'm one with
• 9:02
  Speaker 8: you now, but I don't have my life no more.
• 9:04
  Speaker 8: This is our life. And then you saying that why
• 9:08
  Speaker 8: are you coming in the house at two thirty three
• 9:09
  Speaker 8: o'clock in the morning. I'm wrong, you know. Are you
• 9:13
  Speaker 8: gonna tell me what time is coming out? Been coming in?
• 9:17
  Speaker 8: What's the problem? I'm not doing anything wrong. But you
• 9:19
  Speaker 8: have to consider the other person's relationship.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, so when.
• 9:25
  Speaker 7: We think about it, you think about as you say that,
• 9:28
  Speaker 7: we both had lives, we have lives outside of each other.
• 9:32
  Speaker 7: And that's one of the things that when you are
• 9:35
  Speaker 7: in a relationship or entering into a marriage that you
• 9:38
  Speaker 7: have to consider. You have to consider the fact that
• 9:40
  Speaker 7: you're not the first person that this person.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: Has ever been with.
• 9:44
  Speaker 8: Yeah, you're not the.
• 9:45
  Speaker 7: First person that they have ever kissed. You're not the
• 9:49
  Speaker 7: first person that they've ever went on a day with.
• 9:51
  Speaker 7: You're not the first person that they've ever had intercourse
• 9:55
  Speaker 7: where You're not the first person that they have ever
• 9:58
  Speaker 7: spent time with. You are not the first person. So
• 10:01
  Speaker 7: many times when we enter into relationships, we're bringing some
• 10:06
  Speaker 7: of that old trauma from former relationships with us. We
• 10:11
  Speaker 7: come as bag ladies and bad men. Some of us
• 10:14
  Speaker 7: have compact cars of luggage. Others of us have maybe
• 10:19
  Speaker 7: a U haul of luggage that we're bringing. Some of
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: us come with two tractor trailers of luggage. And for
• 10:26
  Speaker 7: a lot of people, we have a whole train. We
• 10:30
  Speaker 7: have two box cars and a caboos that we are
• 10:33
  Speaker 7: bringing into the relationship because of our interactions with others,
• 10:38
  Speaker 7: because of our trauma as young people that we have
• 10:42
  Speaker 7: not healed from and we have not dealt with, and
• 10:45
  Speaker 7: so all of these things we bring into our relationship
• 10:49
  Speaker 7: and we have to learn one another. As you say
• 10:53
  Speaker 7: that you know you had a life. I had a life.
• 10:55
  Speaker 7: My life was in church. Your life was the world,
• 10:59
  Speaker 7: and so we were in two different places, and so
• 11:02
  Speaker 7: we had to really.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Learn one another. You have to learn what I like.
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: I had to learn what you like. I had to
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: learn what really made you smile.
• 11:14
  Speaker 7: I had to learn what not to say to you,
• 11:18
  Speaker 7: how to say things to you, just as you had
• 11:20
  Speaker 7: to learn these things from me. But as speaking from
• 11:24
  Speaker 7: an individual who has gone through trauma, who has experienced
• 11:29
  Speaker 7: that incense, who has experienced the abuse, it is more
• 11:33
  Speaker 7: difficult for an individual who has been down that road
• 11:39
  Speaker 7: and now enters into a relationship with someone to really
• 11:43
  Speaker 7: become one hundred, to be open, be honest.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: To tell the truth, because there was.
• 11:49
  Speaker 7: A lot of things that took place early on in
• 11:53
  Speaker 7: our relationship, even prior to our marriage that was that
• 12:00
  Speaker 7: basically stem from doors that were still open in my
• 12:05
  Speaker 7: life from trauma.
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: And at that point you have to think about what
• 12:11
  Speaker 8: it did to me. You know. Here I am trying
• 12:16
  Speaker 8: to love you and do everything I could possibly do,
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: and I grab you trying to embrace you. But I
• 12:24
  Speaker 8: grab you too hard and the first thing, don't do that,
• 12:28
  Speaker 8: you know. So we have to look at it from
• 12:30
  Speaker 8: both sides, you know, because I don't know what you
• 12:34
  Speaker 8: went through. All I know is I'm trying to love
• 12:37
  Speaker 8: you the wholeness, but in the midst of that, I
• 12:40
  Speaker 8: need to be loved. So at this point, this really
• 12:43
  Speaker 8: tells you what kind of relationship you have. But do
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: you really love one another? You know, because we can
• 12:49
  Speaker 8: sit there after the shine is gone, the sparklers out
• 12:53
  Speaker 8: the way, the oob oh, yes this is it. But
• 12:56
  Speaker 8: after all that's gone, life begins to life for real. Yes,
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: you have bills, you have kids or children, you know,
• 13:04
  Speaker 8: that you bring. So you're combining your life with my life,
• 13:09
  Speaker 8: and then now we're building a life. You have others
• 13:12
  Speaker 8: that was in your life that don't want you in
• 13:14
  Speaker 8: my life because you know, everybody feels like I am
• 13:18
  Speaker 8: the best, I'm the greatest. Till you find somebody or
• 13:20
  Speaker 8: see someone that you say they look better than me.
• 13:23
  Speaker 8: That can't be and it begins to look like you're
• 13:26
  Speaker 8: prospering more with this individual than you did with me.
• 13:31
  Speaker 8: So all that stuff that's coming along with it, you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 8: you have to get through all that, you know, but
• 13:37
  Speaker 8: even more so than that, you have to tell each
• 13:39
  Speaker 8: other the whole truth. Yes, you know, don't wait till
• 13:44
  Speaker 8: late in the midnight hour, don't touch me, let me alone.
• 13:47
  Speaker 8: You grab me like that, and that just kipt everything.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, and you know that goes back to the good thing.
• 13:54
  Speaker 7: It goes back to the good thing that didn't come
• 13:57
  Speaker 7: with a warning label, the good thing that didn't come
• 14:01
  Speaker 7: with disclosure or disclaimer. It goes back to that because
• 14:06
  Speaker 7: it does not negate the fact that you have found
• 14:10
  Speaker 7: a good thing.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: The only thing.
• 14:12
  Speaker 7: That you have to realize is that even in finding
• 14:16
  Speaker 7: the good thing, the good thing may be better broken, cracked,
• 14:20
  Speaker 7: and chipped, but it still has destiny, It still has
• 14:23
  Speaker 7: a purpose to fulfill.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: In your life.
• 14:25
  Speaker 7: Because when you have found that good thing, that means
• 14:28
  Speaker 7: that sometimes it's gonna take a little more delicacy in
• 14:33
  Speaker 7: unpacking that luggage or you're gonna have to handle that
• 14:37
  Speaker 7: hard with a little more care. You can't just be
• 14:41
  Speaker 7: the brute you know that come your baby and you
• 14:44
  Speaker 7: know doing all that stuff. You have to just kind
• 14:46
  Speaker 7: of ease into it. And that's the reason why honesty
• 14:51
  Speaker 7: is very important when we're entering into relationships. It's very
• 14:55
  Speaker 7: important when you have found someone that you plan to
• 14:59
  Speaker 7: spend the rest of your life with, you have to
• 15:01
  Speaker 7: understand that honesty should be the first step in your relationship.
• 15:07
  Speaker 8: It should be the first step. But like I say,
• 15:09
  Speaker 8: you know you're putting on a facade because this is
• 15:12
  Speaker 8: who I want to be with. You know, I picked
• 15:14
  Speaker 8: or chose the individual that I know God said it
• 15:18
  Speaker 8: was mine. But what I didn't know was what came
• 15:22
  Speaker 8: along with it. You know, unpacking this baggage, you got
• 15:27
  Speaker 8: to realize that, you know, there's some stuff that you
• 15:30
  Speaker 8: really don't want to hear. And men, if you watch it,
• 15:33
  Speaker 8: understand one thing. Let yesterday be yesterday. You know, don't
• 15:39
  Speaker 8: ask your mate or your significant other what happened in
• 15:44
  Speaker 8: their life in the bedroom. That's not your business. We're
• 15:50
  Speaker 8: building our life because I can't be him, she can't
• 15:52
  Speaker 8: be her, but we can be with one another, you know.
• 15:57
  Speaker 8: And if God has brought you to this person and
• 15:59
  Speaker 8: you have found your good thing, realize no one understand
• 16:02
  Speaker 8: that it's gonna take some work. It's gonna take some
• 16:05
  Speaker 8: honesty on your part as well as hers. You know,
• 16:08
  Speaker 8: you said a little while ago, be one hundred? Do
• 16:12
  Speaker 8: you know how to be one hundred?
• 16:16
  Speaker 7: On that note, we're gonna take a quick commercial break
• 16:18
  Speaker 7: and we're gonna come back and we're gonna unpack that
• 16:21
  Speaker 7: piece of luggage?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Do you know how to be one hundred?
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Holley, little.
• 16:47
  Speaker 9: Young people, that's nothing wrong with dancing for Jesus, but
• 16:52
  Speaker 9: we can't forget where we come from.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: Sure, so I don't mind. Let's have a little church
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: running out something about the name Listen, shouting about something
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: about the name jes All looks.
• 17:19
  Speaker 10: The sweet, sweetest, sweet.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Sweetest n.
• 17:26
  Speaker 10: Hello, I'm gonna lift your hands and said.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: It is a sweet, sweet thank Jesus.
• 17:44
  Speaker 8: Listen is right here.
• 17:46
  Speaker 9: Some people say a dreamer. I can't explain. Oh the
• 17:55
  Speaker 9: pa that I feel. We'll not call your name in
• 18:02
  Speaker 9: a call your day.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Said, it's just lie for oh shut up in my bones.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: Whoa day? The hole?
• 18:15
  Speaker 10: The ghost move and he yes, and it's just my
• 18:19
  Speaker 10: man alone.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: Something yeah, yes, shot jes shut there about the leg
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: a beallive? It is a sweet.
• 18:39
  Speaker 11: Oh gotta be honest with you, alvela.
• 18:49
  Speaker 6: Love.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: It's the sweetest name.
• 18:53
  Speaker 10: No, yeah, sweet, Yes, let's set the sweet and didn't hold.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: From the heart. I can see the holy ghost movement.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: It won't leave me alone. No, no, no, no no no.
• 19:20
  Speaker 12: The name and see that wool name has got the
• 19:29
  Speaker 12: So you don't have to wait till the fire comes.
• 19:33
  Speaker 11: You can don't south raising loud for you? O.
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: Ho is a sweet?
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: I love?
• 19:58
  Speaker 10: I love her?
• 19:59
  Speaker 8: Now Hello, we're back. Now. We left off on talking
• 20:14
  Speaker 8: about being one hundred, and to me, one hundred is
• 20:18
  Speaker 8: being transparent, and I'm talking about truly transparent. I often
• 20:25
  Speaker 8: say in the house of God, be true, But should
• 20:28
  Speaker 8: I self be true? Don't lie to you, So don't
• 20:31
  Speaker 8: lie to the one that's with you, because that's being
• 20:34
  Speaker 8: unfair to yourself as well as your mate. You know,
• 20:38
  Speaker 8: if it's something that I don't like, I just don't
• 20:41
  Speaker 8: like it. Don't go into your relationship acting like everything
• 20:44
  Speaker 8: is good after about eight months of it down the line,
• 20:48
  Speaker 8: don't do that. Stop what was wrong with you? You
• 20:55
  Speaker 8: didn't have a problem for it? What's the problem now? See,
• 20:58
  Speaker 8: we got to be truly one hundred transparent. So tell
• 21:02
  Speaker 8: me about your transparency because you know a lot of
• 21:05
  Speaker 8: times people tell you I'm transparent. You can look at
• 21:08
  Speaker 8: my life as an open book. Tell me about this
• 21:11
  Speaker 8: open book.
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 21:13
  Speaker 7: So, when we think about transparency, or at least for
• 21:16
  Speaker 7: me thinking about transparency, one thing that I believe is
• 21:22
  Speaker 7: that we should live transparent lives. We should be very transparent.
• 21:27
  Speaker 7: But being transparent is challenging, is very challenging as well
• 21:32
  Speaker 7: as scary, because you don't know how the other party
• 21:36
  Speaker 7: is going to react to your transparency.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: You don't know how they are going.
• 21:41
  Speaker 7: To react to your truth. So it's very, very, very scary.
• 21:45
  Speaker 7: The Bible tells us that he who conceals sin huh
• 21:50
  Speaker 7: does not prosper, but he who confesses sin and renounces
• 21:57
  Speaker 7: it finds mercy. So the thing is, it's better to
• 22:00
  Speaker 7: be honest up front than to have something come.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Out in the long run, in the you know.
• 22:08
  Speaker 7: In the instrum of things, when everything has gotten good
• 22:10
  Speaker 7: and everything is working and you know you got it
• 22:14
  Speaker 7: all together, and then all of a sudden, the cat
• 22:16
  Speaker 7: comes out in the bag. And so now you're at
• 22:20
  Speaker 7: this place and you're like, oh, well, and your maid
• 22:23
  Speaker 7: is saying, well, how come you didn't tell me sooner?
• 22:26
  Speaker 7: And most of the time people's reaction is, well, I
• 22:30
  Speaker 7: was afraid.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: I was afraid. I didn't know how you were going
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: to react. I didn't know you know, what you were
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: gonna say. I didn't know if you would still want
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: to be with me or whatever.
• 22:40
  Speaker 7: But when you have tasted freedom, well, when you have
• 22:44
  Speaker 7: tasted freedom.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: The opinions of others, they no longer matter.
• 22:50
  Speaker 7: It does not matter, because now you have made a
• 22:54
  Speaker 7: determination that there's no going back.
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter what you say, it doesn't matter how
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: you feel.
• 23:00
  Speaker 7: So because when I have become free from a thing,
• 23:04
  Speaker 7: I'm free.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I'm done.
• 23:05
  Speaker 8: Okay, being free, I ain't done. But don't go in
• 23:10
  Speaker 8: the relationship and get in the middle of it. I'm free,
• 23:14
  Speaker 8: I'm done. I'm not having that, I'm not doing that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 8: That's not fair to the other person because they're doing
• 23:22
  Speaker 8: all they can do to be right with you, because
• 23:24
  Speaker 8: at that point you got to realize nothing. They struggling
• 23:27
  Speaker 8: as well, because I'm trying to turn my life around
• 23:32
  Speaker 8: from what I used to do to be with you.
• 23:35
  Speaker 8: But then you just all of a sudden it says
• 23:38
  Speaker 8: I'm done, you know, And that's a struggle for a
• 23:41
  Speaker 8: lot of men as well as some women, because you know,
• 23:44
  Speaker 8: you're sitting there thinking in your mind, I could have
• 23:46
  Speaker 8: said this, and I should have said that, But what
• 23:49
  Speaker 8: you really should have done was be one hundred and
• 23:51
  Speaker 8: just tell it like it was up front. Then you
• 23:55
  Speaker 8: didn't have it to worry about because at that point,
• 23:59
  Speaker 8: being fair that means it's gonna work or it ain't
• 24:03
  Speaker 8: gonna work. You have the choice to accept, but if
• 24:06
  Speaker 8: you don't, be one hundred. You took my choice. Wow.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Wow, that was I'm almost speechless. That was a mouthful.
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: You took my choice. And so when we started thinking about.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: Choice, we all have a choice, but you brought something
• 24:27
  Speaker 7: out that we never really we skirt around, we don't
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: really talk about it, struggle that as women we always
• 24:39
  Speaker 7: claim to be in the struggle, and we're in the
• 24:43
  Speaker 7: struggle because of our past trauma. We're in the struggle
• 24:47
  Speaker 7: because you know, we dealt with John Doe, Willie Rowe
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: and all of these people, and they were just awful.
• 24:55
  Speaker 7: You know, they did this to me, they did that
• 24:58
  Speaker 7: to me, they said this, they said that, and I said,
• 25:01
  Speaker 7: I would never ever deal with them or that type
• 25:04
  Speaker 7: of person again.
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: But what you fail.
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: To realize, unlike me, you gotta type a POSSI say,
• 25:12
  Speaker 7: I don't have to tight. But the thing is, you
• 25:16
  Speaker 7: attract certain individuals into your life. And what we failed
• 25:21
  Speaker 7: to realize is that we all struggle, not just the
• 25:27
  Speaker 7: women struggle, but the men struggle. We don't ever want
• 25:31
  Speaker 7: to touch that or talk about it. We always we
• 25:35
  Speaker 7: are the delicate ones. We are the ones that you know,
• 25:39
  Speaker 7: you have to handle.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: Me with care because of what I went through in
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: my past.
• 25:43
  Speaker 7: But what we fail to realize is that there are
• 25:46
  Speaker 7: some men who have gone through some of the same
• 25:48
  Speaker 7: things that we have gone through as women, and we
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: need to understand that. You know, we were taught that
• 25:56
  Speaker 7: they were women were all friendly, you.
• 26:00
  Speaker 8: Know that everything now and we was what snail tails
• 26:04
  Speaker 8: and puppy dog tails, you got to be hard and
• 26:08
  Speaker 8: all that. But see that's that's what we have been taught.
• 26:11
  Speaker 8: It has been portrayed in our life all our life.
• 26:14
  Speaker 8: You're supposed to be a man. You don't cry, you
• 26:16
  Speaker 8: stand up. But if you pinch me, I heard, yes,
• 26:20
  Speaker 8: if you break my heart, I want to die too.
• 26:24
  Speaker 8: You know, if you treat me bad, I'm gonna do
• 26:27
  Speaker 8: the same to you. But then when it happens to
• 26:29
  Speaker 8: you as a woman, it shouldn't have did that. And
• 26:33
  Speaker 8: I tell a lot of people, you always saying what
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: the man done. But when a man finds a white
• 26:38
  Speaker 8: he finds a good thing, the Bible says, and they
• 26:40
  Speaker 8: have changed favor of the Lord. Okay, if he chose
• 26:44
  Speaker 8: to be with you, he's doing everything to hold on
• 26:47
  Speaker 8: to you. But what happened when you broke his heart?
• 26:51
  Speaker 8: How how is it that you know I'm supposed to
• 26:54
  Speaker 8: be bronzing and take it and not release it. I
• 26:59
  Speaker 8: understand that pressure busses up pipe. So what you're thinking'll
• 27:03
  Speaker 8: do to another individual? We said, be one hundred.
• 27:07
  Speaker 7: And you know, I feel like there are a lot
• 27:10
  Speaker 7: of times that in relationships we don't take that into consideration,
• 27:15
  Speaker 7: you know, as women, and I might get some flat
• 27:19
  Speaker 7: from this, but as women.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: We always we are.
• 27:24
  Speaker 7: We play our victim card, and sometimes sometimes we are
• 27:29
  Speaker 7: the fire starter, and then we start the fire and
• 27:34
  Speaker 7: we cry victim. So in that moment, we're not thinking
• 27:39
  Speaker 7: about what our partner may be going through, what our
• 27:42
  Speaker 7: partner may be struggling with. All we want is what
• 27:45
  Speaker 7: we want. We want to be healed, we want to
• 27:49
  Speaker 7: be whole. We want to make sure that you're loving us.
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: And it's just me and me and me and me
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: and me, and I don't.
• 27:57
  Speaker 7: Care really at this point whether or not you are hurting.
• 28:01
  Speaker 7: So we are all in a struggle and our choices
• 28:05
  Speaker 7: sometimes put us in that place.
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: So we have to make sure that, as you stated,
• 28:10
  Speaker 2: we gotta be one.
• 28:11
  Speaker 7: Hundred and we have to own our truth and be accountable,
• 28:15
  Speaker 7: hold yourself accountable.
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: When you're wrong, you're just wrong.
• 28:19
  Speaker 7: There's no pacifying it, there's no trying to get around it.
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: You are just wrong. You are wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: You started the fire.
• 28:30
  Speaker 7: Now that the blaze has gotten up over your head,
• 28:36
  Speaker 7: you hollered, woo, it's a fire. But you ignited this,
• 28:42
  Speaker 7: you started it, and now you want to play victim,
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: So you gotta think about there are two sides to
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: every relationship, and there's a side where he has his side,
• 28:57
  Speaker 7: you have your side, and then there's that truth.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: And so when you really.
• 29:02
  Speaker 7: Have honest dialogue and you are able to sit down
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: and reason as to adults, you'll understand that you're not
• 29:13
  Speaker 7: the only one that brought trauma to the relationship.
• 29:15
  Speaker 8: So, in other words, don't play tit for tat. No,
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: you never never, because you know you women, y'all off
• 29:23
  Speaker 8: like submachine guns. You know, a man can't think that fast.
• 29:27
  Speaker 8: So that's what makes him launch out at you like
• 29:30
  Speaker 8: that because I gotta come at you with what I know.
• 29:32
  Speaker 8: This is all I know. That is all I can do,
• 29:34
  Speaker 8: you know, and that's not good either. But if all
• 29:37
  Speaker 8: this had been terminated from the beginning, everything would be good.
• 29:44
  Speaker 8: Then you can let the healing begin.
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: That's it. Put your cards on the table.
• 29:50
  Speaker 7: This is me, and sometimes you have to just be real.
• 29:56
  Speaker 7: You have to be raw and uncut. This is me,
• 30:00
  Speaker 7: This is where I came from. This is what I'm
• 30:03
  Speaker 7: bringing into this relationship because I am not healed, because
• 30:09
  Speaker 7: I am not whole, because I have not dealt with
• 30:11
  Speaker 7: some of these issues, because I still have some doors
• 30:14
  Speaker 7: and some portals that are open. So if you touch
• 30:17
  Speaker 7: me this way, you may get a reaction that you're
• 30:20
  Speaker 7: not used to receiving from other women. But that's because
• 30:24
  Speaker 7: I came with luggage. I came with luggage, and this
• 30:28
  Speaker 7: luggage has to be delicately unpathed, delicately unpacked.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: I can remember a time in.
• 30:36
  Speaker 7: Our relationship where you know, we had gone through things,
• 30:39
  Speaker 7: and after you know, being into each other's lives for
• 30:43
  Speaker 7: thirty plus years, you know, we thought, okay, I laid
• 30:47
  Speaker 7: it on the table. I laid it on the table.
• 30:50
  Speaker 7: Apostle was one of the first persons outside of anybody, really,
• 30:55
  Speaker 7: he was one of the first persons that I ever
• 30:58
  Speaker 7: told about my trauma, about my incense. And the reason
• 31:03
  Speaker 7: why I shared that with him is because it affected
• 31:07
  Speaker 7: our life together.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: And so when we got to that place, you know.
• 31:12
  Speaker 7: There might have been a time where it could have
• 31:15
  Speaker 7: been just a simple touch and it sent me back
• 31:18
  Speaker 7: to a place in time and so or it could
• 31:21
  Speaker 7: have been a word and it sent me to a
• 31:23
  Speaker 7: place in time. Or you know, for women that have
• 31:26
  Speaker 7: been abused, it could have been just and it sends
• 31:29
  Speaker 7: you back to a place in time because you have
• 31:32
  Speaker 7: never dealt with that, you have never felt it you
• 31:35
  Speaker 7: have never healed from it, you have never dealt with it.
• 31:38
  Speaker 7: The door is still open to that trauma. So you
• 31:42
  Speaker 7: are ultimately dragging these dead men bones around in this luggage.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: And as I stated.
• 31:49
  Speaker 7: Before, some of us have we have a whole train
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: with the engine, box cars, and a caboos of trauma
• 31:59
  Speaker 7: that we haven't dealt with.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: And it's not fair to the one that we are
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: with if we.
• 32:05
  Speaker 7: Never open up and say here I am, this is me,
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: and we have to just be real and honest about it.
• 32:12
  Speaker 7: If it's gonna work, it's gonna work. If it's ordained
• 32:15
  Speaker 7: by God, you'll be together. If it's not, so well,
• 32:18
  Speaker 7: so so long, see you later, Bye bye baby, Because
• 32:22
  Speaker 7: you have to understand that you cannot continue in this
• 32:28
  Speaker 7: way because it is not healthy for one and your
• 32:32
  Speaker 7: life will be always a wreck. You'll be a whole
• 32:37
  Speaker 7: train wreck. You can be standing a wreck, but you
• 32:40
  Speaker 7: a whole wreck.
• 32:41
  Speaker 8: That's very true. That's good standing a wrect, but you're
• 32:45
  Speaker 8: a whole wreck. So basically, just tell the whole truth,
• 32:51
  Speaker 8: be honest with yourself, trust and believe that your truth
• 32:57
  Speaker 8: will heal your relationship. If you want to be healed.
• 33:01
  Speaker 8: When you have a relationship start off less, agree to disagree, agreeable,
• 33:09
  Speaker 8: then you can let the healing begin if it's worth
• 33:13
  Speaker 8: it to you, right.
• 33:15
  Speaker 7: If you want to be healed, that's that's key, that's
• 33:18
  Speaker 7: the key, because everybody does not want to be healed,
• 33:21
  Speaker 7: and we just have to really be honest about that.
• 33:24
  Speaker 7: Some people like their demons. Some people like always being
• 33:27
  Speaker 7: the victim. Some people love the attention, they love it,
• 33:32
  Speaker 7: and they right, they utilize that to control and especially women.
• 33:40
  Speaker 7: And I might get some flag for this too, but
• 33:42
  Speaker 7: so those of us that have been abused, those of
• 33:48
  Speaker 7: us that have gone through some things, we have to
• 33:52
  Speaker 7: stop utilizing sex as a weapon in our relationships.
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: Sex is not a weapon.
• 34:00
  Speaker 7: When you are married, you belong to your spouse and
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: vice versa. It is not a weapon. And so many
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: times we will weaponize sex when especially when something goes wrong.
• 34:15
  Speaker 7: You know, I used to share with apostles, like every time,
• 34:19
  Speaker 7: you know, we have an argument, every time something happens. Okay,
• 34:23
  Speaker 7: sex is supposed to be the thing that solves it. No,
• 34:26
  Speaker 7: that does not solve it, That does not make it good.
• 34:28
  Speaker 7: No no, no, no no no no. That's not how
• 34:31
  Speaker 7: we make up. That's not how you apologize for offending me.
• 34:36
  Speaker 7: That's not how you apologize for hurting my feelings.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: No, you can't do that.
• 34:40
  Speaker 7: You need to first of all, you need to look
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: me in my face and apologize for what you did,
• 34:48
  Speaker 7: and then maybe we'll make up later.
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: But sex does not replace the apology.
• 34:53
  Speaker 8: But see, what you fail to realize is you know
• 34:58
  Speaker 8: I'm not you right, you know, and I'm not here.
• 35:04
  Speaker 8: So if it was working before, why it's not working now?
• 35:08
  Speaker 8: Because if you want to be apologized to, let's make
• 35:10
  Speaker 8: up all the way, all the way, all the way,
• 35:13
  Speaker 8: be one hundred. So you can ain't. Don't tell me
• 35:15
  Speaker 8: about that that baggage. Don't tell me about the trauma.
• 35:19
  Speaker 8: Tell me about what we got going on right here,
• 35:21
  Speaker 8: because see, if nothing else, we ought to be able
• 35:23
  Speaker 8: to come together here. Yes, reason, there's reason together here
• 35:28
  Speaker 8: this way. See, when you want to be in control
• 35:33
  Speaker 8: and and and rule somebody with that, you can't get
• 35:36
  Speaker 8: mad when somebody does something to you and you said
• 35:40
  Speaker 8: I'm gonna get you back, you don't know what to pay.
• 35:44
  Speaker 8: So if you keep holding in yourself back my wife,
• 35:49
  Speaker 8: don't get mad when somebody else. See it, just like
• 35:51
  Speaker 8: a man can look at a woman, and say, I know,
• 35:54
  Speaker 8: ain't nobody touching that because look at her, look at
• 35:56
  Speaker 8: you walk, She ain't flowing, she walking like a brick.
• 35:59
  Speaker 8: I'm fum fum oh. A woman can tell a man
• 36:02
  Speaker 8: she ain't treating him, right. You old enough to know
• 36:05
  Speaker 8: you can look at him, telling on him, and then
• 36:06
  Speaker 8: you wonder why he looking over there. Now you're still mad,
• 36:11
  Speaker 8: but you got to realize that your husband when I
• 36:13
  Speaker 8: grew up, when I was coming up, I had to
• 36:15
  Speaker 8: hear him say, I don't care how mad I get
• 36:18
  Speaker 8: at my husband. This was my mom. He gonna tonight
• 36:23
  Speaker 8: we're gonna be good. I'm gonna be mad in the morning,
• 36:25
  Speaker 8: but tonight we gonna be good. Still your husband, yes see,
• 36:29
  Speaker 8: because if you love me like you say you do,
• 36:32
  Speaker 8: you can let yesterday be yesterday. Yes see. Because none
• 36:36
  Speaker 8: of us are human. It's no good thing in this flesh.
• 36:39
  Speaker 8: But we can get past that if you be in one.
• 36:41
  Speaker 7: Hundred and we are all human and there is really
• 36:50
  Speaker 7: no good thing in the flesh. And what we have
• 36:52
  Speaker 7: to realize and understand is that the Bible tells us
• 36:56
  Speaker 7: don't let the sun go down on your wrath.
• 36:58
  Speaker 2: You should never.
• 36:59
  Speaker 7: Go to bed angry because First of all, you don't
• 37:02
  Speaker 7: know if you're gonna wake up tomorrow.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: You don't know if when you.
• 37:05
  Speaker 7: Roll over and turn your back that that might be
• 37:08
  Speaker 7: the last time that you see that person. So we
• 37:11
  Speaker 7: need to make sure that you always reconcile before.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: You laid down. You never go to bed angry.
• 37:18
  Speaker 7: And it's no such thing since I'm talking about going to
• 37:21
  Speaker 7: bed angry.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: It's no such thing as we.
• 37:26
  Speaker 7: Sleeping in separate rooms. No, you're gonna get on your side.
• 37:29
  Speaker 7: I'm gonna get on my side. You may not, don't
• 37:31
  Speaker 7: put your feet over here, but you're not finna go
• 37:33
  Speaker 7: sleep in the living room. You're not finna go sleep
• 37:36
  Speaker 7: in the extra bedroom. You're not finna go do any
• 37:38
  Speaker 7: of those things. Because whenever you allow the enemy to
• 37:43
  Speaker 7: have a foot hole in your marriage, you have just
• 37:48
  Speaker 7: given him legal right to bring that wedge of division
• 37:52
  Speaker 7: and anything else that he wants to bring up against
• 37:55
  Speaker 7: your marriage.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: So no, that's not what we do over here.
• 37:59
  Speaker 7: And that's what we have to understand because trauma, anger, bitterness,
• 38:04
  Speaker 7: all these things that we have once done in previous relationships,
• 38:09
  Speaker 7: we bring all that stuff over here.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: And this is how well, this is how I'm gonna.
• 38:14
  Speaker 8: Do you know me?
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: You know how I am? Yes, I do. I know
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: what you have shown me and what you have told me.
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: But do I really know you?
• 38:23
  Speaker 8: No, you don't know me because I don't know myself.
• 38:25
  Speaker 8: Because under the right conditions, a monkey eat pepper, gold,
• 38:28
  Speaker 8: to walk and water. And you are telling your mama.
• 38:31
  Speaker 8: But I want to go back to that part by
• 38:32
  Speaker 8: you said, don't put your feet men feet hands everything
• 38:36
  Speaker 8: I'm patting touching mine. Don't allow the devil to come in.
• 38:41
  Speaker 8: She can be mad all she want. I'm touching. I
• 38:44
  Speaker 8: don't care. I'll touch it because we together. I'm putting
• 38:49
  Speaker 8: my feet on everything. Trust me, because we are one.
• 38:53
  Speaker 8: You know. Don't allow that to gonna because see, if
• 38:56
  Speaker 8: you allow stuff like that to happen, then all of
• 38:58
  Speaker 8: a sudden it starts building a wall or I can't
• 39:02
  Speaker 8: touch and you feel in some kind of way, then
• 39:04
  Speaker 8: that's another form of power and another form of manipulation.
• 39:11
  Speaker 8: If that's your wife, all that, trust me, because when
• 39:17
  Speaker 8: you don't do it and they ready for you to
• 39:19
  Speaker 8: do it, yet now you mad. Now she's looking at
• 39:22
  Speaker 8: you cross eyt and crazy. Love yourself better than that,
• 39:26
  Speaker 8: Love your relationship better than that. We are one for real,
• 39:31
  Speaker 8: be one hundred, leave the baggage, the trauma and yesterday,
• 39:38
  Speaker 8: but talk about it and don't be afraid because of
• 39:43
  Speaker 8: what you think somebody else is thinking. I can't help you,
• 39:47
  Speaker 8: because you're not being fatter me, because I can't help
• 39:49
  Speaker 8: you if I don't know now all of a sudden,
• 39:52
  Speaker 8: when it looked like okay, it just ain't working up
• 39:54
  Speaker 8: in it, Oh you want to leave me now? Really?
• 39:58
  Speaker 8: You want me to listen when I was trying to
• 39:59
  Speaker 8: talk to you before. No, let's talk now. And don't
• 40:04
  Speaker 8: be upset when they tell you something you really don't
• 40:07
  Speaker 8: want to hear.
• 40:09
  Speaker 7: As wait, yes, yes, yes, And that's that's the thing.
• 40:15
  Speaker 7: We had to come to an agreement in our marriage
• 40:19
  Speaker 7: that we have to have the hard conversations. Yes, and
• 40:24
  Speaker 7: as adults and in a marriage, we have to have
• 40:29
  Speaker 7: the hard conversations. There has to be the conversations that
• 40:33
  Speaker 7: say that you know, this is what you do and
• 40:36
  Speaker 7: I don't like it.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: You have to have the conversations.
• 40:40
  Speaker 7: Of you know, I don't want you to do this,
• 40:43
  Speaker 7: I don't want you to to say this, don't talk
• 40:46
  Speaker 7: to me in this manner.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: This is this is how I feel when you say this.
• 40:51
  Speaker 7: This is how I feel when you say that, and
• 40:53
  Speaker 7: you have to understand that no, it's no, no is no.
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: Is not negotiable. If I don't want to do a thing, no,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I don't want to do a thing.
• 41:06
  Speaker 7: And so this is the thing that we have to
• 41:08
  Speaker 7: understand because so many times we are in a marriage
• 41:11
  Speaker 7: and we are still trying to please the other person
• 41:15
  Speaker 7: and we are making ourselves miserable. We have to come
• 41:20
  Speaker 7: to this agreement because everybody looks at us and they say, well,
• 41:24
  Speaker 7: every time I see y'all, y'all together, y'all.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: Are never apart, y'all are always together. That's not true.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: It seems that way.
• 41:32
  Speaker 7: It seems that we are always together because a lot
• 41:36
  Speaker 7: of times we are always together.
• 41:38
  Speaker 2: And that's because we love each other. We are always together.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: It's not that, oh lord, I just I wish he
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: going nobody's business.
• 41:45
  Speaker 7: No, we are always we are together because of our
• 41:49
  Speaker 7: love for one another. But there are times when you
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: need that time of separation, that time apart, that time
• 41:57
  Speaker 7: to be alone. And so if there is something that
• 42:01
  Speaker 7: you do not desire to do that your spouse wants, yeah,
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: you have the legal.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Right to say no, no, I don't want to do.
• 42:08
  Speaker 8: That exactly, because you know there's been times when you say,
• 42:12
  Speaker 8: when you tell Lord, i'll go if I have to
• 42:14
  Speaker 8: go by myself, and then the moment that your spouse says,
• 42:19
  Speaker 8: I don't want to go, your lips stuck out. You can't.
• 42:22
  Speaker 8: That's being unfair. You came here by yourself, You're gonna
• 42:25
  Speaker 8: leave by yourself, you know. And we need that time
• 42:30
  Speaker 8: apart so I can miss you, you can miss me.
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: You know. That's how you get that oneness because we're together.
• 42:39
  Speaker 8: But then when we're apart, then I'm longing for you.
• 42:41
  Speaker 8: I'm missing you. And when we come together, we can
• 42:45
  Speaker 8: reason together, we can talk together, we can be one
• 42:48
  Speaker 8: hundred with each other because I can't wait to get
• 42:50
  Speaker 8: home because I've been in relationships to where I got
• 42:54
  Speaker 8: off work and I looked at my clock and I
• 42:56
  Speaker 8: was like, Lord, have mercy they home. Sometimes I didn't
• 43:00
  Speaker 8: come up. I'm just gonna be dirty till nine thirty
• 43:03
  Speaker 8: ten o'clock because I was unhappy. Other times, let me
• 43:07
  Speaker 8: get off of our eartht I go get cleaned up,
• 43:10
  Speaker 8: and when I get there, they'll be sleep. But when
• 43:13
  Speaker 8: it's a true relationship, I can't wait to get there
• 43:16
  Speaker 8: because I want to tell you about my day. I
• 43:18
  Speaker 8: want to ask you about your day. I want to
• 43:20
  Speaker 8: know what can we do tonight? What is it that
• 43:23
  Speaker 8: you know draws us closer together? You know? She had
• 43:28
  Speaker 8: a thing where she loved dairy Queen. They closed to
• 43:32
  Speaker 8: dairy Queen here where were at? I had to drive
• 43:34
  Speaker 8: all the way just about the lake city. And one
• 43:37
  Speaker 8: day she was so mad, I said, come on, I
• 43:38
  Speaker 8: need you to ride me. When she looked up, I'm
• 43:40
  Speaker 8: down there at the lake sitting, I pull up the
• 43:42
  Speaker 8: day cause she was just so happy. But these are
• 43:45
  Speaker 8: the things you do for the ones that you love,
• 43:49
  Speaker 8: because your heart strength is the one besides you. You know,
• 43:54
  Speaker 8: I want to do this for her. I want to
• 43:55
  Speaker 8: do that for the same thing it took to get
• 43:58
  Speaker 8: her is what it's gonna take to keep her or him.
• 44:01
  Speaker 8: Don't allow the devil to come in, because guess what,
• 44:04
  Speaker 8: the devil can't do you nothing. He had one job
• 44:07
  Speaker 8: that the Good Lord allowed him to do, and that
• 44:10
  Speaker 8: was to show you where you was weak at. And
• 44:14
  Speaker 8: he's good at that. So it's not the devil because
• 44:17
  Speaker 8: even in that God showed him that, you know, And
• 44:19
  Speaker 8: I'm still in charge. I allow you to do this
• 44:22
  Speaker 8: so I can show them who I am exactly by
• 44:27
  Speaker 8: giving them grace. So give yourself grace, give your relationship grace,
• 44:33
  Speaker 8: and allow the healing to begin.
• 44:36
  Speaker 7: Hey man, we are just so excited about tonight and
• 44:42
  Speaker 7: we want you to We pray that you were able
• 44:46
  Speaker 7: to take something away from our conversation tonight and dealing
• 44:50
  Speaker 7: with letting the healing begin, because truly, we have to
• 44:55
  Speaker 7: look at what did we bring into our relationships. There
• 44:59
  Speaker 7: are so many marriages that are ending in divorce because
• 45:03
  Speaker 7: you never took the time to really get to know
• 45:05
  Speaker 7: one another. You never had the opportunity or took the
• 45:09
  Speaker 7: opportunity to really be transparent with one another to say
• 45:14
  Speaker 7: this is what I really brought into this marriage. You
• 45:17
  Speaker 7: know a lot of times when people get divorced, they
• 45:20
  Speaker 7: look back and they say, you know, what it could
• 45:23
  Speaker 7: have should have. But the thing is you don't have
• 45:25
  Speaker 7: to get to that point. All you have to do
• 45:28
  Speaker 7: is be honest, have the honest conversation, have the hard conversation,
• 45:33
  Speaker 7: and just be real, I brought this into this marriage.
• 45:38
  Speaker 7: This is my luggage, and I need you to take
• 45:43
  Speaker 7: the time to help me to unpack this because when
• 45:49
  Speaker 7: you become one. We're in this thing together and we
• 45:55
  Speaker 7: need one another. There are things that I had to
• 45:58
  Speaker 7: have apostle to help me to unpack. There are things
• 46:03
  Speaker 7: that we had to really just sit down and have
• 46:06
  Speaker 7: these hard conversations, and so it's the same vice versa.
• 46:10
  Speaker 7: There are things that will happen in his life that
• 46:13
  Speaker 7: we had to walk through together because there are traumas,
• 46:17
  Speaker 7: there are things that we experience.
• 46:20
  Speaker 2: There are things that we have gone through as.
• 46:23
  Speaker 7: Individuals before we ever came into a relationship or a marriage,
• 46:29
  Speaker 7: and we found ourselves at the point of this is
• 46:34
  Speaker 7: where I am, and this is affecting me because I've
• 46:38
  Speaker 7: never closed the door, I've never dealt with it, and
• 46:41
  Speaker 7: now this trauma is basically taking over my life. It's
• 46:47
  Speaker 7: ruling my life. So we're not gonna give it any
• 46:50
  Speaker 7: more space. Tonight, Let tonight be the night that you
• 46:56
  Speaker 7: serve the eviction notice on all the past. You serve
• 47:02
  Speaker 7: the eviction notice on everything that you have brought, everything
• 47:07
  Speaker 7: that you have dragged into your marriage, from your past relationships.
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: From your childhood traumas.
• 47:16
  Speaker 7: Let tonight be the night that the eviction notice is served,
• 47:21
  Speaker 7: And hang a no longer welcome sign on the door
• 47:26
  Speaker 7: telling it that it is no longer welcome. You gotta
• 47:29
  Speaker 7: be able to deal with it. You gotta feel it,
• 47:33
  Speaker 7: and you got to own it. And you have to
• 47:36
  Speaker 7: understand that where you are right now is not your
• 47:40
  Speaker 7: final destination. It's not and divorce does not have to
• 47:45
  Speaker 7: be the end. That does not have to be the
• 47:48
  Speaker 7: final place for your marriage. All you have to do
• 47:52
  Speaker 7: is to be willing to let the healing begin. So
• 47:56
  Speaker 7: we want to thank you guys, Thank you guys for
• 47:58
  Speaker 7: joining us tonight, and we pray that you will join
• 48:02
  Speaker 7: us again. We'll be back on the third Sunday at
• 48:06
  Speaker 7: eight p m. Same place, same time, right here. We
• 48:12
  Speaker 7: thank you for joining. We pray that there was something
• 48:15
  Speaker 7: that was said tonight that will help you to jump
• 48:18
  Speaker 7: start your journey to wholeness as you let the healing begin.
• 48:22
  Speaker 7: Join us next well, Join us third Sunday. Join us
• 48:26
  Speaker 7: third Sunday for another episode of Let the Healing Begin
• 48:30
  Speaker 7: once again. We are your hosts Apostles and Kimberly Thomas,
• 48:35
  Speaker 7: and we thank you for joining us tonight, and we
• 48:38
  Speaker 7: pray that you have a wonderful evening and that God
• 48:40
  Speaker 7: will continue to bless you as you let the healing begin.
• 48:47
  Speaker 8: You're listening to the sound.
• 49:00
  Speaker 5: No better time, So everybody, brother, you're trying to make
• 49:04
  Speaker 5: it out so cool at a time before you go.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: Man, you get shut. That's gone mad.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: Everybody got to habit everything.
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: You everything, you've got to have it.