Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why you should stop being so nice to narcissistic people

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Why you should stop being so nice to narcissistic people · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite. Favorite favorite.
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  You can have a favorite y'all selfaware.
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  Narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock better known as mental illness
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  across all social media platforms.
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  This is your first time seeing my face or hearing my lovely
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  voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. I use my platform on social
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  media to raise awareness for NPD, get more people into
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  therapy like myself, and also validate the victims, survivors
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  and thrivers. There's a lot of said disorders,
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  said Tox. People said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how why you need to stop
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  being so nice to your toxic partner, parent, whoever it is.
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  How narcissist Take your niceness as weakness.
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  Take your niceness as a vulnerability.
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  Take your niceness and weaponize it against you.
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  You can be too nice to Narciss. That's absolutely true.
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  Before we hop into today's episode, y'all I would like to
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  ask a plea. This is me pleading to you.
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  Go ahead and subscribe to the channel if you made it this for
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  y'all, subscribe to the YouTube channel, the podcast, whatever
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  you wherever you're watching the video, hit that subscribe
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  you. If you're watching the video and
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  you don't know how you got here, like how the hell I get here.
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  it for it for free, pay it for it for free just by hitting the
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  likes button, the like subscribe button.
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  Anyways, y'all, thanks, but yeah, it's not being so nice.
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  Y'all. Absolutely You have to you
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  absolutely, with no equivocation, have to stop being
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  so nice to Narcissus. You have to.
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  I don't believe I'm not built that way.
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  Y'all. You have to get built that way,
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  yo. You can't like, you can be like
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  narcissistic people. If you're a nice person, overall
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  empathetic person. It's like you shoot a pheromone
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  into the air that that narcissists can smell a mile
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  away. Like you just come out in the
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  morning. You think you weren't.
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  You think you weren't like, what's the.
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  What's a good Cologne out here? What's a good perfume?
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  I heard, I know I I got the Wyatt, Gucci, Gucci.
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  I think Gucci makes men and women stuff.
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  So let's say Gucci Cologne, Gucci perfume, whatever it is.
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  Y'all. Let's just say you step out of
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  there, right? D or whatever you wear.
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  I know you're like, no, D I'm turning be off because you say
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  no, whatever color you wear, no perfume you wear.
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  Imagine you spraying it, all right?
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  You come out there and you just like you dabbing all like, but
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  imagine you peel back, you peel back, you peel back the Gucci
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  layer, right? And it really says empathy.
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  It really says niceness because this is pretty much what you do
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  when you go out into the world, You spraying, you spraying
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  empathy on you two, like one behind the ear.
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  It's well, my each year, one of them, the naple your neck, one
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  of them the chest, you put it on your, like, you put it on your
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  wrist and you put it on your wrist and you're rub it in.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what a lot of people do,
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  Like you're spraying empathy on you, spraying niceness on you,
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  and people can sense it and this, and this is how you know.
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  But Lee, how do we know if they're weaponized against you?
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  This is one way, This is one reason, you know that they're
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  weaponized against you. Because they'll tell you that.
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  Yeah, they'll say it out loud to you.
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  There's like, oh, you too nice. You're too nice to do that to
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  me. You're just such a nice person.
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  You wouldn't do that to me, would you?
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  They'll tell you that you're too nice.
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  Y'all. They will tell you that you're
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  too nice. They will listen.
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  They will literally open their mouths up and just say, Oh no,
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  you're too nice. Oh no, you do this.
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  Oh no, you do that. They'll tell you that you're too
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  nice and they'll weaponize it against you.
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  Y'all. You don't have to be nice to
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  people who are hurting you. You can be friendly, but you
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  don't have to be friends with them.
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  You don't have to try to be friends.
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  You don't have to try to. You can try to be amicable, but
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  everybody else, everybody doesn't want to be amicable with
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  you. They just say it like that.
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  You can try to be amicable, but not everybody is trying to be
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  amicable with you, if you know what I mean?
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  Like, you can try your best to be amicable to this person, but
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  not everybody is going to try to be amicable with you.
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  Nobody, everybody's going to try to be cool with you.
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  Some people don't have your best interest at heart.
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  And I know, I know because you it is.
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  It's hard when I talk to a lot of people, y'all it's hard for
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  y'all to understand it because your mind doesn't naturally
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  think this way. Mine does.
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  So it's hard for you to imagine somebody else thinking to be
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  intentionally malicious to you. It's because you don't think
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  that way. You can't.
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  It's hard for you to imagine somebody else thinking that way,
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  isn't it? Because you don't see the world
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  like this. It's hard for you to imagine
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  somebody else seeing the world like this.
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  You know what I mean? Because you don't see it this
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  way. It's hard for you to imagine
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  like that. I don't see it that way.
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  So how can anybody else see it that way?
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  You know what? It's hard for you to put your
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  It's hard. It's very difficult for you to
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  put yourself in the shoes of a narcissistic person.
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  I understand that. Y'all.
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  That's why. I'm just saying you're niceness.
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  You don't have to be nice to them.
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  You can sit down. You can be firm.
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  It's going to feel weird at first.
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  It's absolutely going to feel worried at first.
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  It's going to, it's going to feel weird.
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  It's going to be different. One of those things where it
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  feels weird and different at the same time, but you just like, I
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  don't, I don't like this writer. This just feels weird.
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  But I try to. I can't be.
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  I can't be y'all. I don't.
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  I'm not telling you to be mean. I think when people say, when I
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  say when I tell people to stop being so nice, you automatically
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  think I'm saying be mean. I'm not saying that.
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  I'm just saying be be, be nicer to yourself.
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  You don't have to be. Like removing niceness does not
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  automatically fill it. If you remove remove niceness
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  from this space, it doesn't automatically mean that meanness
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  being mean is going to fill that fill, that void.
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  It's not. It doesn't mean that right
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  there. Y'all.
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  What it means is you taking your power back, standing in your
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  truth, and just having boundaries.
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  Like the niceness. The isn't kind of like you have
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  a balloon, right? It's kind of like you have the
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  you have a balloon. Imagine blowing up a balloon
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  with niceness and empathy. That balloon is full.
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  That balloon is full of empathy and niceness.
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  Now you get tired of because they you see people taking
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  advantage of it. You see people just saying they
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  keep playing, they keep playing you for the full, they they keep
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  treating you badly because they know you.
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  They they think you're too nice to tell on them, right?
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  They they think you're too nice to expose them.
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  So they keep doing the same thing over and over and over
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  again, right. So let's just say you let the
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  air out of it. I'm not saying you let all the.
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  I'm not saying you take away all the empathy.
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  I'm just saying take the like let let a lot of let a lot of
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  the empathy and niceness out and fill it with boundaries and self
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  love. Like let it out.
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  You know how you let a balloon out and just don't sound like
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  it's farting? Let it out, let your little you
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  look empathy balloon. Let it fart away, Let it blow
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  away. But then blow it back up with
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  some, with some boundaries. With with, with some boundaries,
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  with some. Not necessarily meanness.
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  Firmness, boundaries, firmness, self love.
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  So now the balloon is still full, but it's full of other
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  things. It's it's full of other stuff.
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  Because they will absolutely take it for you.
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  They take your nicest for granted.
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  Y'all like his narcissist. That's why you get a lot of
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  narcissist. And people there are not overly
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  nice to people because they think niceness is a weakness.
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  They think being nice is viewed as weakness.
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  They think being nice is a vulnerability.
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  So that's why they very rarely nice and that they're trying to
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  get, they're very rarely nice unless they're trying to
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  cultivate an image or they're trying to get something from
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  you. You know what I'm saying?
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  They're trying to cultivate an image or they're trying to get
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  something from you. So they weaponize their own
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  niceness. So they take, they take
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  advantage of yours. So that's why I just had to tell
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  people I was like, if you feel like your niceness is being
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  weaponized against you, you have to take a stand for it.
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  Because if you don't, they're just going to, Yeah, I'm gonna
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  promise you, if you don't take a stand for it, they're going to
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  take a stand for it. And they're just going to keep
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  doing the same thing over and over and over again.
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  And they're going to leave you feeling a certain type of way
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  and you're going to be angry as hell.
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  You'll be super angry at them for doing the same, for taking
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  advantage of you. When I thought I thought you
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  liked, I thought you were too nice.
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  And when you said that when you start setting boundaries, when
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  your balloon is full of boundaries and self love,
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  they're going to claim, they're going to claim you never cared
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  about them. They're like, oh, you never care
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  about me. You're taking advantage of me.
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  You're doing this, you're doing that.
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  Yeah, keep doing your thing. That's all I got to say to
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  people. If you feel like a narcissistic
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  person is taking advantage of your niceness, keep moving
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  forward with the stuff you have going on, you know, because
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  like, if you like, no, no, Stop being so nice.
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  But move forward with the boundaries.
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  Move forward with the stuff that that helps protect you.
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  Move forward with that stuff right there.
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  Because if you don't, this stuff is going to keep going.
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  Y'all it doesn't. Why would it stop?
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  I ask people that question right there.
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  Why would it stop? If they're getting something
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  from you, why would they stop? They're not like and they're
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  they might be nice to you every once in a while because they're
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  trying to get something from you.
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  If you see a narcissist, if they'd be, if they go from being
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  super mean to you y'all every single day to all of a sudden
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  being nice to you out of nowhere.
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  So ask yourself the question, like why are you being so nice
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  to me? Why are you being nice to me
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  right now? Where is this coming from?
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  What do you what do you ask yourself?
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  What do you what does this person want from you because
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  they're trying to get something from you.
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  I that's one thing. I condemn their guarantee you
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  right there that they're trying to get something from you
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  because they feel like they're not you're nice is going to be
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  used against you. So I just said you have to
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  empower yourself. Y'all, it's one thing a lot of
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  people have to learn how to do, especially when you deal with
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  narcissist, the people is empower yourself to set
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  boundaries. It's going to suck it.
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  Yeah, if you've been nice to somebody, a certain person for
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  so long, it's going to be, it's going to, it's going to be
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  different when you set boundaries.
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  So it'll be different when you say no.
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  It's going to be different when you when you choose yourself.
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  But also understand the fact that it's okay to choose you
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  now. And I'm not telling you to stop
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  being nice to other people. Start.
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  Stop being nice to people who are taking advantage of you.
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  That's what I'm telling you to do.
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  Stop being nice to people who are taking advantage of you.
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  You mean, if people are being nice and they're if you've been
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  nice to people and they're reciprocating your niceness,
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  then yeah, you can be nice to that person.
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  But it just, it gets to that point where, like, you don't
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  want to be nice to people who don't deserve it.
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  Well, how to determine who deserves it?
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  Who doesn't deserve it? That's, you know, listen to
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  yourself, Listen to your heart, you know, Listen to your heart.
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  Listen to your mind. Protect your peace.
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  That's all I want. That's really literally all I
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  want people to do is to protect their peace.
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  Because peace is important now. Peace is extremely important in
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  these spaces. Protect your peace.
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  I'm not asking you to be mean or actually turn into the grunt the
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  Grinch that stole Christmas. I'm just asking you to protect
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  your peace because your peace is absolutely worth protecting, you
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  know? At least I think your peace is
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  worth protecting. Look, I can think your your
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  peace is worth protecting all I want to, but you actually have
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  to believe it. You know?
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  You actually have to believe just this cherry.
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  You actually have to believe that your peace is worth
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  protecting. Because if you don't, it doesn't
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  even matter. You know what I mean?
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  Just stop being so nice to certain people.
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  I'm not saying if you see someone taking advantage of your
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  niceness, you can. You can pull back the niceness.
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  You can, you can, you can, you can.
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  You can take it back. You don't have to be.
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  You don't have to be nice to people who are taking advantage
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  of y'all. If they keep that, they
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  repeatedly say you're too nice, you're so nice, You're so kind.
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  Thank you for not doing this. You're such a good person.
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  If they're saying yeah, if they're telling you that you're
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  a good person and they're shooting you badly, they're
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  taking advantage of you, put it like that.
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  If you if somebody can open their mouth and say you're such
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  a good person, you treat me so good and they're treating you
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  badly, that means they're being intentional with their
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  behaviors. Think about it from that
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  perspective right there. If they can open their mouth and
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  say you're such a good person, but they keep cheating on you,
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  to keep putting their hands on you, to keep lying to you, to
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  keep trying to manipulate you, they're doing it on purpose,
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  then we can leave it at that right there.
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  Y'all. Anyways, y'all let me hop up.
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  This thing that's one-on-one is here next.
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  Makes you like and subscribe. You made it this far?
• 10:54
  Then this is out peace. Thanks for making it to the end.
• 10:57
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• 10:58
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