Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / What's All the Hubbub, Bub?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: The world's biggest comedian hosted Saturday Night Live. It's one
- 0:02Speaker 1: more thing.
- 0:04Speaker 2: Armstrong and Getty.
- 0:06Speaker 3: One more thing.
- 0:10Speaker 1: One of the things I admire about Shane Gillis is
- 0:12Speaker 1: I've gotten to know something about his life. Just from
- 0:16Speaker 1: YouTube videos and interviews and stuff like that. Man, he
- 0:19Speaker 1: is a hardworking dude, as is almost everybody who's ever
- 0:24Speaker 1: been really successful at anything. But he works incredibly hard
- 0:28Speaker 1: and just such an interesting— he had so many paths that
- 0:32Speaker 1: he could have gone down. He was drafted to be
- 0:37Speaker 1: an offensive lineman for a Division I college football program.
- 0:40Speaker 1: I mean, that's—very few people get to play D1 football.
- 0:44Speaker 1: And he did it for like a week and decided
- 0:48Speaker 1: he just didn't want to do that. Then he goes
- 0:50Speaker 1: to West Point for crying out loud. He got accepted
- 0:53Speaker 1: to West Point and never even started and thought, this
- 0:56Speaker 1: is not what I want to do.
- 0:58Speaker 3: Wow.
- 0:59Speaker 1: Then he got hired by Saturday Night Live. And that
- 1:01Speaker 1: got derailed by an old tweet, but... He said, I
- 1:05Speaker 1: have the greatest resume in the history of the world, almost.
- 1:09Speaker 1: But then he just worked his ass off deciding he
- 1:12Speaker 1: wanted to be a comedian and doing open mic nights
- 1:16Speaker 1: and traveling around and endless writing skits and stuff like that.
- 1:19Speaker 1: It's really pretty impressive. Anyway, he's a giant deal now,
- 1:23Speaker 1: and he was on Saturday Night Live. Here's one of
- 1:25Speaker 1: the sketches, the prerecorded sort of ads that they do.
- 1:30Speaker 1: I don't know how this will translate to radio. Let's
- 1:33Speaker 1: hear it.
- 1:33Speaker 3: Uh-oh. Looks like someone needs a new heating and air
- 1:36Speaker 3: conditioning system. That can be scary. Most companies have high fees,
- 1:39Speaker 3: hidden costs, and a lack of transparency. Not us. At
- 1:43Speaker 3: Upfront Heating and Air Conditioning, we'll tell you from the beginning.
- 1:45Speaker 3: This whole process is going to be a nightmare.
- 1:48Speaker 1: At Upfront.
- 1:48Speaker 4: Hey, what is taking you guys so long?
- 1:51Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to fix it?
- 1:53Speaker 3: Coming out here talking cackies and flip-flops. Tell you what,
- 1:56Speaker 3: tough guy.
- 1:56Speaker 1: You can tell me what this is. I'll do the
- 1:58Speaker 1: whole job for free. A pump?
- 2:01Speaker 4: Wrong.
- 2:02Speaker 1: Now get out of my shot. It was a pump.
- 2:07Speaker 1: Now let's hear some testimonials. I mean, first they showed
- 2:11Speaker 1: up and they... See that? We showed up.
- 2:15Speaker 2: It was so good. What's so funny is we had
- 2:18Speaker 2: just had a tattooed half-wit. Nothing wrong with tattoos. It's
- 2:22Speaker 2: a fine art form. In our house and just.
- 2:26Speaker 1: But the thing he keyed on at the very beginning
- 2:28Speaker 1: is you got this really nice, well-spoken, clean-cut, responsible guy
- 2:33Speaker 1: who comes out and does the estimate. And Shane says,
- 2:36Speaker 1: you'll never see that guy again. And then it's these
- 2:38Speaker 1: three dudes that show up, and they look like somebody
- 2:41Speaker 1: you'd be scared to have on your property who comes
- 2:44Speaker 1: back with some random truck with no markings on it.
- 2:48Speaker 2: Like three randomly selected carnies.
- 2:50Speaker 1: Yeah, and I've had that happen multiple times.
- 2:54Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
- 2:55Speaker 1: So that's pretty funny. Anyway, I don't know if it's
- 3:00Speaker 1: actually controversial or not. Shane Gillis' monologue that he did
- 3:05Speaker 1: when he came out, they hand him a mic and
- 3:07Speaker 1: he does a little stand-up. You're going to lose weight?
- 3:10Speaker 2: Hold on.
- 3:11Speaker 1: And being politically incorrect has always been his whole thing.
- 3:14Speaker 1: So I don't know why you'd tune in unless you
- 3:17Speaker 1: want him to be politically incorrect. But supposedly there's a
- 3:20Speaker 1: controversy over him saying things that are inappropriate and blah, blah, blah, blah.
- 3:23Speaker 2: That's a different way to phrase this thought. Some people
- 3:26Speaker 2: didn't like it.
- 3:27Speaker 1: Yeah, no kidding.
- 3:27Speaker 2: Who cares?
- 3:29Speaker 1: Go ahead. You gotta lose weight.
- 3:32Speaker 3: It's a bummer. You know what I mean? When you
- 3:34Speaker 3: finally get so fat, you're like, all right. Hit that
- 3:38Speaker 3: fat rock bottom. Some of you guys are probably fat
- 3:40Speaker 3: as hell, right? Hey, there's one guy like that. But no,
- 3:46Speaker 3: you hit that fat rock bottom. My fat rock bottom
- 3:48Speaker 3: sucked this year. I was in a Bud Light commercial
- 3:50Speaker 3: every 10 minutes. I'd look up and see it on screen.
- 3:54Speaker 3: I'd go, I was like, oh no, I look like
- 3:57Speaker 3: a lesbian. I don't know what that means. I don't
- 4:03Speaker 3: know why he thought he looked like a lesbian.
- 4:05Speaker 1: Anyway, he rolls off.
- 4:06Speaker 3: I try to go to a public gym. Going to
- 4:08Speaker 3: the public gym as a fat guy, especially in New York,
- 4:10Speaker 3: is a nightmare, dude. Everyone's just the hottest gay guys
- 4:12Speaker 3: you've ever seen. They're jacked, and they look at me like, yeah, right.
- 4:17Speaker 3: I know, dude. Also, I haven't been to the gym
- 4:20Speaker 3: in so long, I didn't know women just dress like
- 4:22Speaker 3: whores now. Look, I'm sorry, there's no other way to describe.
- 4:27Speaker 3: I say, have you seen it?
- 4:28Speaker 2: I've seen it.
- 4:29Speaker 1: The shorts? Have you seen the shorts?
- 4:32Speaker 3: Those neon, they're like the only, they're like artificial bait colored.
- 4:37Speaker 3: The wrinkles go like around the cheeks and all combine
- 4:42Speaker 3: at the butthole.
- 4:45Speaker 1: And don't look.
- 4:46Speaker 3: You're not allowed to look. For real, don't look because
- 4:49Speaker 3: they are filming. I'm in the background of like 10
- 4:51Speaker 3: TikToks right now.
- 4:55Speaker 2: Wow.
- 4:57Speaker 1: The color of artificial bait is clever.
- 4:59Speaker 3: Yes.
- 5:01Speaker 2: Yes.
- 5:02Speaker 3: Goes on in texas my my my friend joe rogan
- 5:06Speaker 3: has a uh private gym at his studio which that's
- 5:09Speaker 3: nice i can work out there no one's around he
- 5:11Speaker 3: also has a sauna which i'm good at that i
- 5:14Speaker 3: can sauna with the best of them so the other
- 5:18Speaker 3: day i was in the sauna i'm sitting there i'm
- 5:19Speaker 3: by myself no one's around so i figure i'll get
- 5:21Speaker 3: comfortable i take my shirt off i'm in my underwear
- 5:24Speaker 3: About five minutes in, there's a knock on the glass
- 5:25Speaker 3: door of the sauna that scared me. I thought I
- 5:27Speaker 3: was alone. I look over, and it was Theo, Vaughn,
- 5:29Speaker 3: and Joe. And they open the door, and Joe just goes, hey,
- 5:32Speaker 3: Theo said you looked like a gas station egg.
- 5:34Speaker 1: And then they closed the door.
- 5:37Speaker 3: They left.
- 5:37Speaker 1: I didn't even get a comeback. I was like, yeah, whatever.
- 5:40Speaker 3: Now it's just me and that insult for 10 more minutes.
- 5:43Speaker 3: Just baking with that insult. There's no music in there.
- 5:45Speaker 3: Now I'm arguing with Theo Vaughn in my head for
- 5:47Speaker 3: ten minutes, like, you look like some type of egg
- 5:50Speaker 3: my cousin might have found. Shut up, you dumb hick.
- 5:55Speaker 3: The thing that hurt the most was when he closed
- 5:57Speaker 3: the glass door. I saw my own reflection. I looked
- 6:00Speaker 3: exactly like a gas station egg. That's one of the
- 6:03Speaker 3: meanest things anyone's told me. You look like a wet, bagged,
- 6:07Speaker 3: hard-boiled egg. That's going to be in there for the
- 6:09Speaker 3: rest of my life. I'll be like an old folks
- 6:12Speaker 3: home looking out the window like, I'm not an egg, yo.
- 6:15Speaker 2: All right, lay down. Oh, that's beautiful.
- 6:20Speaker 1: There's more.
- 6:22Speaker 3: I was raised by two older sisters. Nasty. Women are like,
- 6:28Speaker 3: they're more psychological. I was always jealous of the guys
- 6:31Speaker 3: with older brothers because the worst you got there was.
- 6:33Speaker 2: Like, come here, queer, yeah.
- 6:35Speaker 1: I had two big, fat, bitch sisters.
- 6:38Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 6:39Speaker 1: I'm psychological. They both look like me with wigs, dude.
- 6:43Speaker 1: They would say the meanest things.
- 6:45Speaker 3: They'd be like, everyone knows you're masturbating in the shower.
- 6:48Speaker 1: I'd be like, no.
- 6:50Speaker 3: I thought I was getting away with that.
- 6:52Speaker 2: I wasn't.
- 6:52Speaker 3: I was taking a big chunk out of the herbal essence.
- 6:55Speaker 1: It's a see-through bottle, they knew.
- 6:57Speaker 3: But my sister is the... Sorry, my buddy's laughing.
- 7:02Speaker 1: Soda, shut up. Shut up.
- 7:06Speaker 3: Very nice i love you anyway my sister uh she
- 7:09Speaker 3: got me with one that stuck with me for the
- 7:10Speaker 3: rest of my life i was i was i was
- 7:12Speaker 3: a little old for what i was doing i was
- 7:13Speaker 3: in like sixth grade i was laying on the floor
- 7:15Speaker 3: in front of the tv and uh she was she
- 7:18Speaker 3: was in the recliner behind me probably cracking up pills
- 7:21Speaker 3: in her with her truck or forearms but i was
- 7:24Speaker 3: laying on the floor like a mermaid i'll never forget
- 7:25Speaker 3: what she said she said hey get out of the
- 7:27Speaker 3: way of the tv bitch hips as a child bitch
- 7:32Speaker 3: hips wet egg.
- 7:35Speaker 2: That's tough. Wow, wow, wow.
- 7:38Speaker 1: That's when he said there are insults that will stick
- 7:41Speaker 1: in your head the rest of your life. You can
- 7:42Speaker 1: tell when you get it. And that's true. I've had
- 7:44Speaker 1: those in my life as a kid or whatever. You
- 7:47Speaker 1: can tell when they land. It's like, that's going to
- 7:49Speaker 1: be in there for a long time.
- 7:51Speaker 2: It lodged. It didn't bounce off. It lodged.
- 7:53Speaker 1: Isn't that interesting? I'd never thought about that concept before.
- 7:57Speaker 1: But you can feel it when it lands. Okay, that
- 8:00Speaker 1: one is a permanent thought somebody had about being said
- 8:03Speaker 1: out loud. In my psyche.
- 8:05Speaker 2: It's as if you have a depth gauge. Oh, that
- 8:09Speaker 2: one penetrated the outer shell. Oh, my.
- 8:12Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 8:13Speaker 2: Yeah, you do know it often at that time.
- 8:15Speaker 1: Should we do more of these, Hanson? Yeah, we got
- 8:19Speaker 1: one more.
- 8:19Speaker 4: Okay.
- 8:20Speaker 3: I'll tell you the thing that I'm really bothered by
- 8:23Speaker 3: is I've balded directly into an Adolf Hitler haircut. And
- 8:28Speaker 3: it's not good, because I give a lot of speeches,
- 8:31Speaker 3: and the front falls down a lot, and there's no
- 8:33Speaker 3: way to adjust it without looking exactly like... It's.
- 8:38Speaker 1: The only way. I'm not going to do that.
- 8:39Speaker 2: That's gay.
- 8:41Speaker 3: That's it.
- 8:41Speaker 1: You're either gay or you're Hitler. And isn't that where
- 8:44Speaker 1: we're at as a country?
- 8:46Speaker 3: Hey, that was the monologue.
- 8:48Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen. So we want to play the gay
- 8:52Speaker 1: Hitler thing because that fits into the whole the Internet's
- 8:55Speaker 1: upset and thinks something.
- 8:57Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 8:57Speaker 1: I don't even know if that's real.
- 9:00Speaker 2: Alan, if it was, it wouldn't matter.
- 9:04Speaker 1: Good point.
- 9:05Speaker 2: Unless, you know, there's some giant boycott, blah, blah, blah.
- 9:10Speaker 2: NBC is issued a state. Even then, it doesn't matter.
- 9:13Speaker 3: Right.
- 9:14Speaker 1: As Charles C.W. Cook of the National Review wrote about this,
- 9:16Speaker 1: I guess he thought it was enough of a controversy
- 9:19Speaker 1: to comment on. So what are we just supposed to
- 9:22Speaker 1: have endless political monologues now? So, right. Lots of liberal
- 9:26Speaker 1: comedians could get up there and say all kinds of
- 9:28Speaker 1: things that annoy the hell out of me, make me mad.
- 9:31Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm personally offended by that's fine. You can you
- 9:34Speaker 1: can insult half the country about things they deeply believe.
- 9:39Speaker 1: But you make a bunch of jokes that isn't going
- 9:41Speaker 1: to hurt anybody, really. And then it's controversial.
- 9:45Speaker 2: Yes, Katie.
- 9:45Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 9:47Speaker 1: You have a comment?
- 9:48Speaker 2: No.
- 9:48Speaker 1: Controversial, yes or no?
- 9:51Speaker 2: No, because it's comedy.
- 9:54Speaker 1: I don't know. I've lost the ability completely to be
- 9:57Speaker 1: able to tell when something's controversial or not.
- 9:59Speaker 2: Because.
- 9:59Speaker 1: the new york post has kind of ruined it because
- 10:01Speaker 1: they do it with everything all the time internet furious
- 10:05Speaker 1: or uh uh would it be a good example of
- 10:09Speaker 1: uh Everybody ripping apart the new Toyota Landrunner, whatever it is, product, movie, song, whatever.
- 10:19Speaker 1: And you feature three tweets or Instagram posts and build
- 10:24Speaker 1: your story around it. It's just so dumb.
- 10:27Speaker 2: Right, yeah, yeah. Headline, entire text of the article. It's
- 10:32Speaker 2: three people saying something sarcastic on Twitter, which is the
- 10:36Speaker 2: non-storiest non-story that's ever non-storied. Yeah, and just the whole,
- 10:42Speaker 2: it's controversial if it's not their philosophy. When are people
- 10:48Speaker 2: going to wake up to realize, all right, you've got
- 10:50Speaker 2: this fairly narrow band of America, well, the world really,
- 10:55Speaker 2: that has decided what can be said, what's acceptable. And
- 10:59Speaker 2: anything outside of that is, quote unquote, controversial or hateful
- 11:03Speaker 2: or hate speech or whatever. And I'm not having it
- 11:06Speaker 2: for a long time. I'm not having it.
- 11:09Speaker 1: So Hanson, did his accidental F-bomb land actually air?
- 11:14Speaker 4: I watched, uh, on whatever delayed feed I had and
- 11:18Speaker 4: it was silenced out, but I have, I was watching
- 11:21Speaker 4: the live feed and it was just mysterious and I'm
- 11:24Speaker 4: thinking they must've hit. Cause I always watch that live
- 11:26Speaker 4: at eight 30 when it, cause on the West coast
- 11:28Speaker 4: of there's live.
- 11:28Speaker 1: At eight 30. Um, uh, And it just, it was mysterious.
- 11:33Speaker 1: Like I couldn't tell what had happened. Like I missed something.
- 11:36Speaker 1: So they must've hit the dump button like we do
- 11:38Speaker 1: in radio and it just erases a chunk. And so
- 11:42Speaker 1: the listener, the viewer just doesn't know what happened. But
- 11:45Speaker 1: so this must be the taped version then, right? Is
- 11:48Speaker 1: it because it's bleeped?
- 11:49Speaker 4: I don't know where this came from, but it's, uh, yeah,
- 11:51Speaker 4: there's no censorship on it.
- 11:53Speaker 1: Okay, I have no idea.
- 11:54Speaker 2: There is or there's not?
- 11:56Speaker 1: There's not. Okay, cool.
- 11:57Speaker 4: I have an uncensored version that I was saving just.
- 11:59Speaker 1: For this purpose.
- 12:00Speaker 3: Okay, cool.
- 12:00Speaker 1: Well, I want to hear that because I want to
- 12:01Speaker 1: know what actually happened. It's way better. His reaction in
- 12:04Speaker 1: the cast reaction was wide-eyed, I'll tell you that. I
- 12:07Speaker 1: can give you just, I don't know how much of
- 12:08Speaker 1: this you need to know, but it was mocking the
- 12:11Speaker 1: whole green eggs and ham Dr. Seuss thing. And, you know,
- 12:15Speaker 1: Sam I Am just kept trying to get him to
- 12:17Speaker 1: eat green eggs and ham. And Shane comes in as
- 12:20Speaker 1: one of the Dr. Seuss characters. Hey, lay off of me.
- 12:23Speaker 1: Clearly doesn't want your spoiled ham, all right? I mean,
- 12:26Speaker 1: if you don't stop saying that, I'm going to punch
- 12:28Speaker 1: you in the face. You know, that sort of thing.
- 12:30Speaker 1: But he may like green eggs and ham. Bro, it's
- 12:33Speaker 1: a non-starter.
- 12:34Speaker 3: He told me, he said he doesn't fucking cheese like them.
- 12:46Speaker 1: He said, I do.
- 12:47Speaker 3: Not like green eggs in hand.
- 12:50Speaker 2: Well, he may like them.
- 12:51Speaker 1: He will see.
- 12:52Speaker 3: He may like them.
- 12:53Speaker 2: In a tree.
- 12:54Speaker 1: Okay, I'm glad I got to hear that because on
- 12:56Speaker 1: my version, it was just the whoa and the looks,
- 12:58Speaker 1: and I thought it was just he screwed up a line.
- 13:00Speaker 1: I didn't realize he dropped an F-bomb because they all
- 13:04Speaker 1: looked pretty shocked. One of them patted him on the
- 13:07Speaker 1: shoulder like, it's okay. That's the perfect, like, not catch,
- 13:13Speaker 1: but the, you know, the fallback.
- 13:14Speaker 3: Oh, geez.
- 13:15Speaker 4: Whoa, geez.
- 13:19Speaker 1: That's pretty funny.
- 13:20Speaker 2: Oh, boy.
- 13:22Speaker 1: Well, I guess that's it.
- 13:24Speaker 2: That's it.