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Ep. 478: How Do I know Im in Labor Solocast with HeHe Stewart · The Birth Lounge Podcast

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  just a few days before we had our baby, we were out to dinner actually, and have this, I was having such con- intense contractions that we actually left dinner.
• I was convinced the baby was coming on the way home.
• I was like, "Should we call our midwife? Like, is this it? Is this the time?" And we got home, we rested, I went to sleep, and woke up still super pregnant.
• Didn't have a baby for I think even maybe the next week.
• Hello and welcome back to The Birth Lounge Podcast I was recently talking to a mama friend, and we were laughing because we were talking about our births.
• I talk about my birth and my friends' births all the time with them.
• And, uh, it's, like, literally always a topic of conversation And, um, we're laughing because, you know, I didn't know that I was in labor in the beginning, and she said kind of the same thing.
• And I was like, "Isn't it so funny, like, how, like, just how crazy it was going through pregnancy?" And she was like, "Yeah, it really was insane."
• And she was like, "You, you know so much, yet you know so little."
• And I was like, "No, actually, it, it...
• That is such a good descriptor."
• And I feel like that is so fitting for one of the, the number one questions that I get.
• And I'm laughing because after that conversation, I had a call with a client and she was asking me, "How am I gonna know if I'm in labor?" And I was like, "Ugh, like, you're, you're gonna know.
• It's hard to know, but you're gonna know."
• Like, you'll know, but you may not know know.
• You know? Or the opposite.
• Like, you may not know, but you kinda know know.
• It's different for everybody.
• Let me tell you exactly what I mean.
• So number one, there's not, like, this poof moment of, like, all right, you're in labor.
• And there's also not one indicator that means, okay, your labor has started.
• It's kind of this combination of a bunch of different things, but also those things by themselves, and also sometimes combined, can mean that you're not in labor, okay? Here's a really great example of what I mean by that.
• Um, your mucus plug.
• Sometimes when we see your mucus plug, it means that you're in labor and your cervix is actually expanding and you're in labor.
• You're usually having contractions at this point, and maybe even some bloody show, which is another sign that maybe you're in labor.
• But also, bloody show and your mucus plug can both happen weeks before you have your baby.
• You see? It's like sometimes these things mean, "Yes, I'm in labor," and sometimes they mean, "Labor is coming," and your body is doing the hard work.
• Now, the more of these signs and symptoms that we get together, I think it increases the chances that, yes, you're probably in labor.
• But again, sometimes in the weeks and days leading up to labor, it can feel really confusing because it's like, "Is this a sign that I'm in labor, or is this a sign that labor is coming?" People always think about contractions, right, meaning labor.
• But a couple of things to know.
• Number one, Braxton Hicks can sometimes really fake you out, and you might think like, "Oh my God, these are labor contractions," and they actually are just Braxton Hicks.
• You're dehydrated, or you need to rest, or you need some magnesium, or you need to eat.
• Um, you know, it's, uh, yeah, sometimes Braxton Hicks can be real fake-outs.
• I mean, really playing the role of contractions, and then once you fix one of those things, they go away.
• Sometimes, this happened to me, you have days of contractions, not meaning like I, I, I didn't have like 10 days of contractions, but for, you know, five to seven days leading up to my labor starting, I was having these contractions kind of throughout the day, but randomly, and they would be like, sometimes there would be 10 or 15 minutes of contractions.
• Sometimes I would have an hour or two of contractions.
• Once, just a few days before we had our baby, we were out to dinner actually, and have this, I was having such con- intense contractions that we actually left dinner.
• I was convinced the baby was coming on the way home.
• I was like, "Should we call our midwife? Like, is this it? Is this the time?" And we got home, we rested, I went to sleep, and woke up still super pregnant.
• Didn't have a baby for I think even maybe the next week.
• Um, might've even been 10 days before we had the baby.
• So again, the Braxton Hicks, those practice contractions, your uterus and your baby kind of sinking down into your uterus, those two things, your uterus and your baby working together, it can feel so intense.
• You wanna make sure that you're actually having these rhythmic contractions.
• So that's another thing that can kinda feel like, "Oh, is this labor?" But then when you kinda look deeper into it like, "Oh, are they rhythmic?" They're not.
• And they're not predictable, and they're not coming, you know, steadily.
• There's a few here, and then you have several hours, or you don't have any overnight, and then you wake up the next morning, you have a few.
• You don't have any more until the next afternoon, something like that.
• The one thing I will say about Braxton Hicks and contractions though, is they, they feel kind of different.
• So let me see if I can explain this.
• So for Braxton Hicks, it's like It's like Braxton Hicks are kind of in the central and, like, front of your belly.
• It does tighten your whole belly, and it's almost as if someone is pulling a string from your belly button, and as they pull that string, your belly gets tighter and tighter.
• Where real contractions, it typically is not the front of your belly, and it doesn't encompass your entire belly.
• Typically, they're either at the f- the top of your belly and they wrap down or towards your back, or they're at the bottom of your belly, closer to your pubic bone, and they wrap up or towards your back.
• And sometimes they start in your back and they wrap around front.
• Um, and so it's like they're different feelings.
• If your entire belly is getting kind of squeezed, but not, not the contractions of, um, a whole muscle group, it's kind of just like tightness, but your whole, your whole core doesn't contract together, that's probably a Braxton Hicks.
• A couple other things like I just talked about, if you drink a glass of water, if you take a little rest, if you take some calm powder or some magnesium, do those Braxton Hicks go away? The two things that I see causing people Braxton Hicks the most at the end of pregnancy, by far, is you're dehydrated or you are overdoing it, and you really, really should rest The other thing that people kind of rely very heavily on, especially in the hospital, um, when it comes to, like, "Am I in labor?" is usually, you know, your dilation.
• How many centimeters are you? And we used to previously think that, uh, four centimeters was active labor, but we have learned that in fact, no.
• That is still early labor.
• It really is, um, because sometimes you can walk around three or four centimeters, like, the last few weeks of pregnancy, especially if you've already had a baby or two or three.
• Um, you, your, your cervix is like, "Yeah, we're gonna spit this baby out once we're in labor.
• Like, we're not, we're not waiting around.
• There's no messing around here.
• We're gonna have this baby, and when we're in labor, this baby is out of here."
• Um, and so, you know, it is not uncommon for people to walk around three to four centimeters dilated at the end of pregnancy and you're not in labor, right? So again, you have this indicator that if you were having contractions, if your mucus plug was coming out, if you were having bloody show, if your waters were released and you were having, um, you know, these, these contractions that were longer and more frequent and, uh, more intense, then you're three to four centimeters, probably you're in labor.
• But by itself, three or four centimeters does not necessarily mean you're in labor It's kind of frustrating how so many of these are like, "I mean, it could be, but it also couldn't be."
• Um, the one thing that I will say is kind of a, a, like, surefire indicator that you're in labor and/or that your baby is going to be born is that your waters break, right? That's the one thing that, you know, that can't persist forever.
• You know, you wouldn't wanna have your waters broken for 10 days, but you could do Braxton Hicks for 10 days.
• You could do on-and-off-again contractions for 10 days.
• You could lose your mucus plug and not have a baby for 10 days.
• You could show mild bloody, bloody show, bloody, like, mucus as you wipe for 10 days leading up to your baby being born.
• But once your waters are broken, that is not realistic.
• 10 days is just typically not considered safe.
• Um, you've really, really run the risk of infection at that point.
• You know, not because you've been getting cervical exams, but simply because your waters have been broken for 10 days, and you have just been doing things, life, for, for 10 days So because so many of these are confusing, I want to give you a little reframe of instead of asking, "Am I in labor?" I think there are a couple other kind of better questions that you can ask that will lead you to the answer of whether or not you're in labor or not.
• Number one, I don't think that you should, uh, like turn early labor into this project or something to be managed.
• I think that you should just have a plan of what you're gonna do.
• Are you going to go on a walk? Are you going to go walk around the mall? Are you going to nap? Are you going to cook? Are you going to keep going to work? Are you gonna just go about your normal day? I really think that you should try and keep something, keep something in your day that's going to either be something that you look forward to or that keeps your attention and keeps your mind busy, right? The worst thing that you can do in early labor is chase labor.
• So ask yourself, "What am I going, going to do when my contractions start and how am I going to manage these contractions?" In early labor, there's probably not too much that you need to do.
• You're...
• Typically, people are able to really manage early labor contractions very easily, again, a lot by distraction.
• But that does lead you into your second question of when these ramp up, then where will I want to be and how am I gonna manage these? So maybe you don't wanna be at the mall or out to lunch with a girlfriend or, you know, walking around downtown.
• Maybe you really do wanna be at home in your shower by yourself or just with your partner.
• Maybe you've called your doula.
• So you wanna have a plan of where will this take me and how am I going to get there? So if you're at work, probably thinking about, like, how many hours are left in the workday? Will I want to go home early or will I just not go back to work tomorrow? I also think that keeping up with, you know, that symptom stack.
• Are you seeing bloody show? Have you in the last couple of days? Have you been losing your mucus plug? Are you right now? Are your waters broken? Are you having contractions? Did you have a cervical exam at your last appointment? And if so, what did that yield? How does that, you know, play into, uh, your decision now and where you think you are in labor? What's your plan for pain relief? How far away do you live from your hospital? And then finally, when do you call your provider, right? I do think that this is a question you should specifically ask your provider.
• Now, these aren't orders from them.
• This is just their preference, so you get to decide whether you want to do that or not.
• So if you get some answer that you're like, "I absolutely will not call them at that point," that's okay.
• You don't have to.
• But I think it's really nice to understand when your doctor would want to be notified, and then there actually might be an opportunity for a discussion here.
• You could let them know, like, "I'm happy to call you, but I'm gonna want to make this decision," or, "I'm happy to let your office know that my waters have broken, but at that point, if I'm still managing at home really well, because my goal is to labor at home as long as possible, I will not wanna come into the hospital."
• Right? I think there's a larger discussion that can happen by you asking your provider, "When do you have preferences for me to call you? What is your preference around when I call you when I am in labor?" I know a lot of these are like, you know, how the heck am I supposed to know when I'm in labor? I'm telling you, this is just one of those things you're gonna know.
• Okay? You may not know, know, but you're gonna know.
• All right? I'm telling you.
• I am telling you, even if you're not like, "All right, I am clearly in labor," something in you is gonna be feeling...
• It's just like, people just say like, "I just feel different.
• I just feel off.
• Just something feels odd."
• And it, it is so true.
• There's no words that can describe it except you just feel different.
• Now, this is exactly why I created Labor Live.
• I want you to be able to practice these decisions.
• I want you to be able to practice these conversations.
• I want you to be able to practice thinking these things through, and then also understanding what are your options when this happens in your labor, and what if this has already happened, and what if this hasn't happened yet.
• Does that impact the decision that you're making right now in this moment? Now, labor gets started on September 1, i.e.
• Labor Live starts, and for the next few days, I'm gonna be taking you through an immersive birth simulation where you are going to be able to experience, in real time with thousands of other women, labor decisions as they unfold.
• You are not gonna know what's coming next.
• You're not gonna know what time it is going to happen, because that's not how birth works.
• I want you to genuinely be able to experience what it might be like to be in birth and have to make these decisions.
• You're just gonna get the information when you get it, just like you would in labor.
• Maybe you wake up and your waters are broken.
• Maybe you wake up and you're having contractions.
• Maybe you're 41 weeks and you don't know when labor is gonna start, and you're having to navigate those conversations Every few hours, you're gonna get an update, maybe contractions start, maybe this is when your water breaks, maybe you get more information and now you need to call your doctor and have a different conversation What questions would you ask? What decisions would you make? How would you evaluate all of your options, and how do you know what is an evidence-based option versus what is just an option that is presented for convenience? During Labor Live, you're going to have the opportunity to learn from me and learn from other mamas and see in real time the decision that you make, how does that allow your birth to unfold.
• That way you can kind of practice labor before you're actually in it Throughout Labor Live, I'm going to walk you through exactly what it would be like to consider each of the things at each of these decision points.
• And then at the end, you're going to get this really cool report on like where are you super solid? Where are you experiencing some hesitancy? Where do you have some knowledge gaps? Where are you relying on someone else to make that decision for you? Where are you losing your power? That way, when you're actually planning for your birth, you can go ahead and practice these things.
• Because I don't want the first time that you're practicing these things to be when you're actually in labor Guys, this is the first ever interactive, in real life birth simulation, and I'm literally so stoked to share it with you.
• Thousands of women are going to be in labor at the same time.
• Waters breakin' September 1st Head to thebirthlounge.com/laborlive
• to sign up So wrapping up, how do I know I'm in labor? Uh, well, we're mainly looking for patterns.
• Are your contractions coming stronger? Are they getting closer together? Are they lasting longer? Have you lost your mucus plug? Have you been seeing bloody show? Are you having contractions or has your water broken? And then again, all of these, except your water's breaking, could also mean that labor is coming, but not here just yet.
• I'm sorry there isn't a magic equation that I can give you that's going to tell you just how your birth is going to unfold.
• But remember that your job is not to predict everything that happens in your birth, or even try and control it so that it is the ideal for you.
• Your job is to recognize what is happening, know the information that matters about the options that you have, and also the information that's gonna help you ask the right questions, and then feel confident deciding, what do I do next? You guys, if you want to feel confident making these decisions and you wanna practice being in labor before you're in labor, join Labor Live.
• Labor starts on September 1.
• Head to thebirthlounge.com/laborlive
• to sign up Can't wait to see you in labor Thank you so much for tuning in today.
• I love hanging out with you, and it is an honor to be your go-to gal when it comes to preparing for your baby.
• If you've enjoyed today's episode, please leave a five-star review and tell others why they should be listening to the Birth Lounge Podcast too.
• You deserve to have a birth that you love with a provider that values your autonomy and respects informed consent without all the trauma that you so commonly hear about on social media.
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• I'm HeHe, and this is the Birth Lounge Podcast.