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How Narcissists Trick You Into Doing What They Want You To Do · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Five ways, 5 to 5. Five ways narcissists get you to
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  do what they want. Five ways that narcissists
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  manipulate you into doing whatever they want you to do
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  into fulfilling their needs. That's what we're talking about
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  today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  Here to give you the perspective of a narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back, folks. Welcome back, Welcome back.
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  Yes, the mind of a narcissist. Today we're talking about the
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  mind of a narcissist in five tactics, five ways that they get
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  you to do their bidding, that they get you to do what they
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  want you to do 55, you know, $5 foot loans.
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  Y'all remember that? I'm, I'm, I'm from the
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  generation where we did what they did $5 foot loans.
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  So I used to work at subway and whatnot.
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  But yes, this list there could, there could be other things,
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  right? This is not just a cohesive list
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  of all the only things that narcissists do, right?
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  There might be some bonus at the end, but this is not a cohesive
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  full list. If I missed something, add it.
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  Add it in the comment section. Feel free to take part 'cause if
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  I miss something, you add it. Somebody else reads your comment
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  and you help somebody else. You see what I'm saying?
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  This is, this is a helping, healing community.
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  Yes, I have a community. I have my channel memberships.
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  I have my own support group, Mental illness.net.
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  But this right here in and of itself, my page is a healing
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  community, right? So let's get into it.
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  The first way that narcissists get you to do what they want is
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  they love bomb you, right? They love bomb you.
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  They give you what you've been at.
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  They, they pretend to be everything that you want and
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  need, right? They pretend to give you, They
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  don't necessarily pretend because some, some of them
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  actually want the same things at first, right?
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  But they just overwhelm your system.
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  They, they shock your system into giving you what you want
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  and need. They shouldn't overload your
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  system. They overwhelm you by just
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  showering you with gifts, shower you, shower you in the bedroom,
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  showering with you right? They shower with you sometimes
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  to love bomb you, if you get my drift.
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  I But yes, they love bomb you to get what they get to get what
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  they want from you, to extract what they want from you.
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  And love bombing just doesn't happen in the beginning.
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  Of course, if they want to be with you, if they want to be in
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  a relationship, if they want to sleep with you or whatever,
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  they're going to love bomb you. But when you're already in the
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  relationship or this is your parents or your friend or
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  whoever it is, they can love bomb you by giving you what you
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  want and need and then ask you for something.
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  Hey, I know we're in, we are on vacation right now.
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  You all know you always wanted to take this trip, but I need to
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  ask you for forgiveness for cheating on you 19 times and
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  having 14 kids outside of the relationship.
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  What? You see what I'm saying?
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  I know that's just crazy an example, but that that type of
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  stuff can happen. They can love bomb you like that
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  right there later on down the road to try to get what they
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  want from you. You said something to try to get
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  you to move, to try to manipulate you, to try to to try
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  to get you to do something that you might not normally want to
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  do. So love bombing is probably
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  going to be one of the top ways that narcissists get you to do
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  what they want, right? You've never felt the love like
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  this before. You don't want to miss out on
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  it. You don't.
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  You can't imagine your life without this person.
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  You cannot imagine this person giving somebody else what
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  they're supposed to be given to you.
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  You can't imagine putting all this work in with this person
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  and then being with somebody else.
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  So yeah, they love bomb you to get what they want from you,
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  right. And also, y'all put in the
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  comment section, how many of these have you experienced?
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  To me, I couldn't experience all of them, which is rough.
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  Yeah, let's keep, let's keep it high.
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  It's rough to experience all of these things at the same time or
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  just throughout the relationship dynamic, right?
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  And I say relationship dynamic because it doesn't have to be an
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  intimate relationship. It doesn't have to be your
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  boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, partner, whatever.
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  This could be a parent, your friend, your cousin, your uncle,
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  your auntie, your grandma, your grandpa, your boss, your
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  coworkers, whoever it is right, It doesn't one of your your
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  Internet crush or whatever. I the person you're in a
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  parasocial relationship with your your favorite political
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  candidate, right? This how it works.
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  They love bomb you to get what they want from you.
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  And then I guess what they once they get what they want,
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  typically they discard you in a cycle starts over again again.
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  It would not. So the second thing that a lot
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  of narcissistic people do to get you to do what they want is
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  where I put weaponized incompetence.
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  Do you know what weaponized incompetence is?
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  Is pretending to not know how to do something or telling you that
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  you do it better, Making it seem like, well, I'm just lost on
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  whatever is going on here. I don't know what to do or what
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  to say or how to even go about doing this.
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  You just do it better. You wash the clothes better.
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  You wash the dishes better. You pay this better.
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  You get the kids ready for school better.
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  You make my dinner better. You wipe my nose better.
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  You do this better. You get me dressed better, You
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  do this better. They're pretending to be
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  incompetent to manipulate you into doing something for them or
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  not asking them to do something at all.
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  This is very common in their household with an emotionally
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  immature person or a narcissistic person.
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  Toxic person, right? A manipulative person.
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  They will absolutely pretend not to know how to do something in
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  order to get you to do it. I I'm sorry I don't know how to
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  wash dishes as good as you do. I just wasn't raised.
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  I had a dishwasher when I grew up.
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  I'm sorry. I don't know how to clean the
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  bathroom like you do. I'm just, I get very sick and
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  the smell, the smell just makes me knock, knocks me out.
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  It's your smell. It's your own ass that's
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  stinking. But weaponized incompetence is
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  how they can manipulate you into getting you to do stuff that
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  they want you to do, right? It absolutely can't be one of
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  those things #3 let's say 5 #3 this is a tandem right here.
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  This is this is going to be a tandem 1 coercion and guilt
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  trips. Like they can coerce you to do
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  what they want and they can use guilt, they can use guilt to get
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  you to do what they want. A lot of times the coercion, and
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  this is not just this is not going to be only restricted to
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  the bedroom, but happens a lot in the bedroom, right?
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  This is where a lot of the coercion, the course control,
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  the coercion comes into play right here.
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  The guilt tripping comes into play, right?
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  Well, you'll be in the bedroom with this person and you don't
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  want to do something and they'll make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to do anything or they'll, they'll coerce you into
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  doing something. They'll just like, well, I'm
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  going, if you don't do this, I'm going to go clap your sister's
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  cheeks. I'm going to go bounce.
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  I'm going to go bounce on your brother or your dad.
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  If you don't bow. If you, if I can't bounce on
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  you, I'm going to go bounce on your best friend.
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  I'm going to bounce on my ex. I'm going to clap my ex's
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  cheeks. You see what I'm saying?
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  They might go into it like that. Like realistically, that's how I
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  might handle it. That's how I might go down,
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  right, Right. Let's keep you hot.
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  They will coercion and guilt trips or how they manipulate
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  you. They make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to do something and it works.
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  It does work. They make you feel bad about not
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  wanting to go somewhere, not wanting to do something, not
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  wanting them to go out or whatever the case may be.
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  And then you'll give in because they coerce you.
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  They guilt trip you into it, right?
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  I was going to put these two as separate, but I just feel like
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  they go into hand in hand. Coercion leads to guilt.
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  Guilt leads to coercion, right? The coercive control and things
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  like that. So this happens to a lot of
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  people. This happened to a ton of
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  people, right? Have you ever been coerced into
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  doing something that you didn't want to do?
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  A lot of times this goes into like the realms of the bedroom,
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  I tell you, like the BDSM stuff, like I don't like being choked.
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  Well, my ex like being choked. She actually like being hung
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  from the ceiling and spanked. But I miss her.
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  Maybe I'll go talk to her again. Maybe she, maybe she's still
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  single. Let me call her.
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  Then the next thing you know, you hanging from the ceiling in
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  spandex get your ass spanked because you don't want them to
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  go back to the ex. You see what I'm saying?
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  You see how manipulation works? You see how guilt trip works?
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  They, like I said, it's just not restricted to the bedroom.
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  But it could be one of those bedroom things that happens on a
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  consistent basis. OK, the next thing #4 what is
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  this for? Yeah, 4442 left, two left.
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  I got violence. I'm not laughing at the actual
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  violence. I'm just laughing at the fact
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  that narcissistic people are so damn, just a lot of us are so
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  immature and so, so just we can't handle things in a
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  rational way. We can't handle things in a just
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  a meet you halfway type of situation.
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  We don't compromise. You notice you notice compromise
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  is not on the list, right. They compromise like, hey, let's
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  do this. Let's do this.
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  This time, let's do what you want to do this time.
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  Let's do what I want to do next time.
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  And vice versa. OK, Let's meet in the middle.
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  Oh, violence. Yeah.
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  I wrote down violence. Violence is on my list.
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  They will threaten actual violence or they will actually
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  be violent towards you. They'll beat your ass.
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  It's wild. Like they just won't.
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  They just can't let you live your life to the fullest extent
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  in a normal, healthy way. They got to be violent, they got
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  to be dangerous, they got to be toxic as hell, they got to be
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  manipulative. They just can't let you have it
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  right. They always got to do this other
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  stuff. They always got to keep things
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  moving in this direction because they feel like it benefits them
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  the most. They always got to do this type
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  of toxic ass, crazy ass stuff. Realistically, you know,
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  violence is horrible, narcissistic people, and
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  violence is a awful, awful, awful thing.
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  It is. They will try to be violent
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  towards you because they want to hurt and harm you.
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  They want to do all this kind of crazy stuff.
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  They will they, some of them like the violence, right?
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  Because they're sadistic. But sometimes they'll use the
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  threats of violence or actual violence to get you to do what
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  they want you to do. If you don't move out of my way,
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  I'm going to smack you in your beeping face.
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  If you don't get out of the bed right now and bend over, I'm
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  going to beep. I'm going to hit you in your
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  back of your beep. You know what I'm saying, they
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  will threaten violence not only towards you, sometimes they will
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  threaten violence towards the children, the violence towards
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  your kids or family members or whoever else it is.
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  And does it work? Yeah, it works.
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  Y'all Have you been in these violence?
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  You know how people how many people I talk to as some of the
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  saddest stories I talk to are people who just who are coerced
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  by by abuse. Narcissistic robot talking too
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  fast me to slow down and get my words together.
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  I haven't did a narcissistic robot in a long time.
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  I thought about that the other day.
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  I was like, I ain't did the robot in a long time.
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  But you see how this is a piece of it right here?
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  Yeah. They can use violence to get you
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  to move. If you don't do this, I'm going
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  to hit you. If you don't do this, I'm going
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  to hit them. Violence, it works.
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  It serves them. Violence serves a purpose with
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  narcissistic people. Not all of them, not all of us,
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  but violence serves a big purpose with a lot of
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  narcissistic people. Right.
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  The last thing that I have Roden down, Roden written down,
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  written down. The last thing I had written
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  down on here is leaving you or threats of leaving you.
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  That's the way to get you to move.
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  They'll get you to do something that they want you to do or
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  something that you don't normally want to do.
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  They threaten to leave you or they actually do leave you and
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  then come back. They play the leave, they play
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  the leave, come back game, leave, come back, leave, come
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  back, leave, come back. They play the game on a
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  consistent basis because they love it, because they like it,
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  because they want some more of it.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is the mentality of
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  narcissistic people, of toxic ass people.
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  They go about it like this, They go about it like that.
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  They do these horrible ass, toxic ass things and they say
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  they threaten to leave you. And as it work, especially if
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  you have an abandonment wound that you haven't healed, they
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  will absolutely consistently threaten to leave you because
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  they know it works. They'll consistently threaten to
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  leave you or they will leave you and it'll come back.
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  They'll leave the house and then they'll come back.
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  And so now you know they come back.
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  I talked to a lady the other day.
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  She was super sad because her narcissistic partner does that.
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  They'll just leave and come back instead of having a
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  conversation. They'll just leave and come
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  back. Her her partner will leave and
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  she will come back. Just threatens to leave all the
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  time. You don't set up.
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  I'm going to stop. I'm going to leave.
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  It's a childish, immature response, but leaving and
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  threatening to leave is a narcissistic tactic to get you
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  to do what they want you to do, y'all.
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  So thank y'all for riding with me to the end of this video,
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  y'all. Thank you.
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  Like seriously, thank you so much.
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  Our next in person workshop is in Atlanta, GA, June the 28th
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  ATL. e-mail me and I will send you the link. e-mail me at
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  info@mentalillness.net and I will send you the link for our
• 13:06
  next live in person workshop to get registered and whatnot,
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  'cause I'm putting the site together right now.
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  It's going to be in person and virtual.
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  So we're making this virtual as well, y'all.
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  So e-mail me info.info@mentalillness.net and
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  I will send you the link to register for our Atlanta, GA
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  workshop in person and virtual on June 28th.
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  Hit the subscribe button y'all and I am out peace.
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  Beep before you leave. Make sure to hit that subscribe
• 13:33
  button if you haven't. It just helps us reach more
• 13:35
  people. Also, everything I have is
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  available at mentalillness.net. My coaching, my courses.
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  I have a couple of courses that can help you understand and help
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  you heal and also have a support group all available at
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  mentalillness.net. Check my site off everything
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  y'all and I will see y'all later.
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  Peace.