Latest / The Golden Chronicles / Episode 7: Context/Culture- Ch, Ch, Changes
Transcript
- Danielle: if you'd like to do so, can visit their website at Eargoes.com, that is E-A-R-G-O-E-S dot com, and use our promo code, GOLDEN, for 15 % off of your purchase. So I've mentioned before that I work in the live music industry, which means I'm around loud environments like all the time and protecting my hearing in those environments is actually something that's really important to me. I use Ear-goes myself for that very reason. Ear-goes help reduce the volume in a way that still lets you hear the music clearly without a muffled sound that you would get from a traditional earplug. Plus they're reusable, they're comfortable, and even though my ears are super tiny, they come different size ear tips so you can find a good fit. offer three levels of protection. They have an X15, which is the one that I personally use. They have an X27 and an X32, which reduce the sound by 15, 27, and 32 decibels respectively. For reference, concerts are usually between like 100 and 125 decibels. They are great for concerts and festivals, but honestly, I also sometimes just use them when I'm like sitting on a plane and I don't want to hear all of the noise from the plane and they're very comfortable. So we would love if you would check them out and support our show. Vocals: the Golden Chronicles Hi, thank you for joining us on podcast. Hi, I'm Danielle, I'm the millennial. And I'm Victoria, the boomer. If you're joining us for the first time, welcome. If you're a return listener, welcome back. We're glad to have you. in our last episode, ⁓ in the Worldview, we talked about what happens when people see the world differently ⁓ how it's possible to maintain ⁓ and respectful relationships even when ⁓ worldviews don't line up with the people who we love. ⁓ that episode, we really focused individual beliefs and perspectives and how ⁓ to navigate the differences ⁓ without losing the But today, ⁓ we're not going be talking so much about individual or opinions. We want to talk about culture, society, and context. So specifically, how the world each generation up in shaped what felt normal or safe or at the time and how misunderstandings can happen when we miss that the context has changed. I think that we've noticed that tension between generations ⁓ sometimes comes from people operating with different reference points instead of you know being at odds with another they just have different starting points and so there's different norms and different rules that make sense in the environment that they were raised in but may not quite make sense in the current environment. So in this episode we're going to look at cultural and societal shifts that can happen and can gaps between parents and their adult children. We want to talk about how those gaps happen, what they look like in everyday life, and how we can start to close them by understanding the context in which each of us coming from. If you're a boomer and you've ever thought, I don't recognize the world my kids are living in. Or if you're a millennial who maybe feels like your parents have no idea the reality that you're navigating, this episode might be for you. And if you ever found yourself saying, that's not how things used to work. Or, that's just not how things are now. We think that this conversation might help explain why both of those things can be true at the same time. But before we get into the episode, we want to tell you guys about sponsor. Woohoo! Our first sponsor, yeah. Our sponsor is a company called Ear-goes. Woo, Ear-goes. So let's go ahead and jump right in talking about generational change and context and societal shifts and what we are learning and how we are learning to see the world through more than one lens in order to stay connected. So context is the circumstances or the background or setting of an event. Culture is the shared set of beliefs, values, and customs. Great. So. ⁓ I think that it's important to understand the context in which we're operating from when it comes to... obviously relating, but I feel like a lot of times when things are changing, we lose the context and we're not able to understand where another person is coming from because we don't have that background. What was the definition? The background or setting surrounding event or statement or idea, right? So are some of the things that you've noticed have shifted from generation to generation? I've noticed that this generation, the millennials, they change jobs frequently, whereas the baby boomers, we got that one job, we became a person, ⁓ and that was the job that we had until we retired. Also, there are... men and women are getting tattoos ⁓ and they're getting piercings ⁓ beyond ears ⁓ and so are things that new to the baby boomer generation. Yeah ⁓ in the context of, staying at one job for 40 years versus jumping a lot, ⁓ economy has changed, right? Jobs are laying people off instead of paying them more you know? Or in order to move up ⁓ in a company. are recommending that you get a new job every couple years until you get the position that you want or whatever. Instead of staying at one job where it used to be, you would just stay at one job and kind of move up from there where I feel like now it feels like if you stay at one job, you're gonna be undervalued. I feel like it's more of a strategy now, I think, that back then when I was adult, It was just, that's what you do. But I think now it's more of a strategy to benefit your financial goals. exactly. Also, in the professional space, more people are getting tattoos. It's not bikers and sailors, you know? And people, think, are recognizing that you can do your job with ink on your body. And I think that that culturally has shifted so that people are... I guess more people are getting tattoos and so it's not seen as super unprofessional anymore. I think that's definitely a big surfacey cultural thing. And I think that, I mean there were some really ridiculous guidelines ⁓ that were present ⁓ ago. wearing natural hairstyles, ⁓ cornrows for one. When I was in, I think, the seventh one of the employees, a young black woman, she worked in the office, and she came work with cornrows in her hair. ⁓ And they her home because they felt that it was ⁓ That was in the early to mid 70s. Yeah, same thing with like, women wearing afros and how it was in the past thought of as like unruly or untamed but now it's like this is my natural hair. it's a political statement to wear an afro back then. Yeah and now it's like this is my hair, this is how the hair grows out of my head and the standards even ⁓ in that the standards of beauty are changing not you know size zero blonde straight hair, blue eyes. A couple years ago, it the big butt that was what was in, or the microbladed brows, or even in that, we can see how society has changed in accepting things as acceptable. Let's see, let me think some other things. gender neutral clothing, women not wearing skirts all the way down to their ankles, or even casual dress in ⁓ office, wearing jeans at or even, ⁓ has been kind of in the media lately, wearing sweatpants to airport. ⁓ Some people are pushing for Let's go back to how we used to dress on planes where it was an experience and people were, ⁓ know, dressing up in their suits and stuff like that. But one ⁓ accessibility to plane tickets. ⁓ think it's way more, plane tickets are way more accessible right now ⁓ they were back in the, you know, 60s. ⁓ People are traveling with their families all the world. ⁓ It's not just for the rich or whatever, it's for everybody now. So the idea of dressing up for a flight is just unrealistic. But it's one of those things that's changed. ⁓ the standard has changed and the ⁓ what's, I guess, being accepted ⁓ changed as well. Not everyone sitting in first class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, I'm sorry, I'm not going to wear dress. ⁓ when all I'm getting is cookies. Pretzels and cookies. If you're gonna give me a full meal, maybe I'll think about dressing up for it. And four ounces of a Coke. Yeah, yeah. Not even a full can. Also, in men's fashion, we have seen that change a lot, it used to be. And some people still are like, oh, the metrosexual men. I think men have just learned that it's okay for them to have nice skin. know, men can... use more than just a three-in-one body wash, shampoo, you know? their hair, skin, for everything. And it's more accessible. There's whole lines of products that are just for men, that are men's beard care, and men nail polish, Do you want to explain Metro? Metrosexual? it's just a term ⁓ that people used to describe men who care about their appearance. ⁓ men who get manicures and pedicures and who... care about their hair and making sure their shirt's ironed. I agree. So I'm single, I'm a widow, and when I think about getting into a relationship, deal breaker number one, poor personal hygiene. ⁓ yes. So I'm all for the metrosexual. He needs to come clean, LITERALLY. Yeah. no dirt under your fingernails please. Oh God, no! Yeah. Back in the day when all the men were farmers, that was fine. But now you work, you know, and now we're working in the same job. I don't want to see your dirty nails. I feel a lot the gaps happen in that is the older generation or different generations or even demographics or different ⁓ communities ⁓ things ⁓ are changing culture as like a statement or a signal as opposed to just like a reflection of updated norms. ⁓ For example, you said, the cornrow story with the lady who was wearing cornrows, or afro, it's not a political statement to wear an afro. know, it's not, ⁓ my husband paints his nails. He loves painting, I love painting his nails. It's been really fun to learn how to do all kinds of fun nail art and stuff. ⁓ And it's not like signaling that he wants to be a woman or anything like that. It's just, he likes nail color. He likes colors as we all do. He likes, he thinks that it's cool to have nice nails, a fun color on your nails. For New Year's Eve, was silver and sparkly. He's like, it's ⁓ to have something that reflects what we're doing. ⁓ And so it's signaling or making a statement necessarily. It is statement, like as all nails are. We choose our nails to ⁓ with our vibe or whatever, but he just, it's ⁓ Society, culture has, is encouraging men to take care of themselves and that's one of the things that he's learned that he really enjoys, manicures, pedicures, getting his nails painted as well. Also, and it really makes our daughter happy to painted with her dad, you know? And a couple of things, I mean, you hear more about people being creative. I'm a creative person, whereas back in my day, you didn't hear that a lot. Creativity, blah, get yourself a job and stay there for 40 years. You don't creativity. What do feel you... felt was necessary to be okay in the world when you were growing up. What did I feel was necessary to be okay? I would have to say a good job. Yeah. And not even a career, but a good job and a good man for me. I I rethink that now that I'm 65 and a widow, I have different thoughts about that, I had a great husband. I'm so grateful for him. I think those are two things that I thought were necessary. To be okay. be okay. Yeah. I can definitely see that and I feel like a lot the generations before millennials felt that too. And I felt like even as a millennial that I felt like I needed to have a career. I needed to, you know, married at 21, first kid 23, second kid 25, third kid 27, you know? I felt like that's what was... needed to be okay in or be not even okay, but just accepted ⁓ or Hitting all the right milestones the right targets ⁓ But I feel like ⁓ an adult I'm realizing I think ⁓ as a society, we're all realizing that keeping up with the Joneses isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I think the word mainstream comes to my mind when I think about that. I think now, mainstream, ⁓ we don't all have to be in the same stream and going down the same path. So I think that ⁓ it's better. ⁓ now that we realize that we have options. Yeah. And we can explore the options that are available to us, regardless if it's the way that we wear our hair, if we polish our nails, if we stay in a job or we don't, if we're more strategic. Those are just options that we have that we never tapped into in the past. Yeah. I think a lot of stuff is more accessible too. Yeah, we have more options and more things accessible. options for certain. And we had those options. We just didn't know that we had those options. Right, that's Those options are now more accessible. ⁓ We have social media, we the internet, we the algorithm that ⁓ brings it all right to our doorstep. And I look at things like... older generations feeling like physical security was really important. Having in those things that you felt like you needed to be okay in the world, having the job and the long-term partner gonna offer stability and stuff like that, ⁓ opposed to ⁓ emotional security, which I feel like has kind of been the shift in cultures where people are valuing, like, ⁓ Not that my mom was born in the Great Depression, but we are no longer in the Great Depression. I mean, there is still like a housing crisis and there are still people who don't have food and there are still things that need to worked the majority of us have access to the physical needs and so now ⁓ we're emphasis on the emotional security. So I can focus on... ⁓ My mental health, I can focus on being a gentle parent. I can, you know, like the necessity of, you know, making sure that, understanding that we have ⁓ roof over our head, food on the table, like those are things, we have McDonald's money, you know? We can focus on ⁓ next thing. ⁓ Yeah, I just love the fact that we have options and back in the day you would hear a joke about so woman going to college to get an MRS degree ⁓ to become a Mrs. ⁓ And I think now women are. And maybe they've always been, we just weren't encouraged to follow dreams ⁓ and ⁓ understand ⁓ our weaknesses and our strengths. ⁓ and follow those strains to the career that we want. I don't think that women that are millennials necessarily feel like they need a man. Yeah. They can it under. ⁓ I love my man. I do. really do. A man? Yeah, and I think have you had a best friend? Because let's just talk about... So, yeah, I think that it was just, you know... And I see that today and it makes me very sad. Women who feel they need a man. And so they do all kinds of things to get a man and it's the wrong man. Yeah. Speaking of options, you think about... families who have always done the same thing. They've been in a family business for ⁓ generations and then they have an adult child who want to be the family business and their adult child has options. They have different options than they do and so ⁓ they're not interested in following the same path that their parents followed. They're interested in going to the same college or being in the same sorority or having the same job or taking over the family business because ⁓ We have more options and I think as we progress through the years, people are ⁓ more concerned about living a way makes feel fulfilled ⁓ not just... living in a way that makes their parents happy or their family happy or like I said, that they feel like they're keeping up with the Joneses. I feel like more and more we're leaning towards just doing what's best for ourselves and not in a way that's selfish or harmful to others, but in a way that like. I came into this world with myself and I'm going to leave this world with myself. I have to live with myself every day. And so if myself loves myself and if myself is happy with myself and if myself has a good sleep at night, then that's... what to me and I feel like. And me myself, I don't want to be a farmer. Yeah, exactly. My father was a farmer. Yay. I'm happy for you. But that's not for me. Yeah. And also, like I hear, Boomer saying sometimes oh, you know, back in the day, I had my first house when I was, you know, 25 years old. And by the time we were 35, we had three kids and we were OK. But first of all, Delayed people getting married ⁓ super early anymore ⁓ I mean some people are. are, they are. People are still doing that. age of people getting married is ⁓ up. The age of women having children is going up. It's really hard for millennials to buy houses. The ⁓ of living is crazy. The idea of like having kids in this economy. And think that those are all kinds of things that society and culture expected from people. Expectaions of And some of that still people are still holding on to. If you think that that's what being okay looks like and your child has chosen to not get married, not have kids, and they get a new job every two years, I could see how that could create some ⁓ gaps in communication or some misunderstandings. Misunderstandings, for sure. Which can create space between the two or just differences in... ⁓ disagreements because not understanding. An unnecessary concern. But it is a concern for the baby boomer and we just need to realize that it doesn't have to be a concern. It doesn't have to be the way that we did it for it to be correct for your adult child. Yeah. And things change. Things are constantly changing. things change like really slow. ⁓ Some things change what seems like overnight. We're talking through this episode and we're trying to through some things that we were warned against as kids that have just changed. And so one of the things is getting into cars with strangers. ⁓ Okay, tell my mom when she was 18, 19, 20 to call a random person and tell them to come ⁓ pick her up and her to, I don't know, work or the bar or wherever. and that sounds crazy, that's exactly how you get murdered. You know? In the 80s, in the 70s with serial killers and hitchhikers, no thank you. that is one of those things that... things change, society has changed, culture has changed, we're now in a place have apps on our phones that link us to strangers to come pick us up and drop us off at the airport and we hope that it works, you know? ⁓ Same with dating apps, the idea of meeting a stranger on the internet and believing everything that you see on the internet. guess you still, people, ⁓ do not believe that you see on the internet, please. ⁓ Do your research, ⁓ use your trusted source. But meeting people on like dating apps and stuff like that was unheard of even like my mom refuses to use Uber because she's not getting in a car with a stranger because that's something that they were taught that's ingrained in her and so for me to be like yeah I'm gonna I'm in a different country and I'm an uber for someone to pick me up my mom's like Why would you do that? Why would you get in the car with a stranger be safe be careful? I'm like everybody's doing it I think sometimes when we find ourselves in disagreements with our parents or our adults or your adult children, since I don't have an adult child, it's because we're like defending the strategies that work the environment that we're in. so... ⁓ if there was a strategy that worked when my mom was a 30-something, it might not be the same strategy that works now. And so if she sees me living my life in a way that wouldn't have worked, it's gonna be concerning to her. And so just understanding that things are changing and we're just trying to keep up with the changes happen. And so understanding that just because ⁓ you had a... ⁓ playbook or strategy or rules that you were following, the rules change, the game changes, the strategy changes. Same goal, we wanna be happy, healthy, all that, but the path has changed and how to get there. I feel there are still sometimes standards or rules exist unconsciously. sometimes people operate out of that, not in a malicious way, but just because they realize that things have changed. Mom, you had a story that you wanted to share about something that the nurse said to you. Yes, where I work out, I met a nurse who doesn't believe that women should work outside of the home, which I couldn't quite understand why she was saying that because she was a nurse working outside of the home. she really believed that, and like I said, I was just baffled by that. I she say that? Mm-hmm. That was recently that she said that? Yeah, probably three months. Three months ago and she was adamant, it was very because she worked outside the Yeah I guess that's like that traditional idea ⁓ of married yeah, stay have babies right but this first of all a one-income household is ⁓ Really really a privilege. ⁓ It's really a privilege You know ⁓ being able to even like buy a home and like just things are changing. ⁓ I also wanted to say this kind of, I'm interjecting this now, but the professionals that my generation listened to. ⁓ gave faulty information that some of us parents believed was true. And now that we look back on it, we realize, ⁓ my God, I did that to my kid because this professional said that it was the right thing to do. And so I think that millennials are letting go of that. I mean, not that they're not listening to their doctors or whatever, but I think they're not putting as much weight on. what the professionals are saying because we know now that some of them were ⁓ and misinformed. ⁓ Yeah, wonder if that shift has to do with the fact ⁓ with some of the professionals who were telling people what to do, they were telling them what to do, right? They were telling them this is how you should do things, this is the right way of doing things, this is the wrong way of doing things. where I feel like ⁓ now there's a focus on... doing what's best for you. Yeah, and your family whats best for your kids. Maybe it's not best to let your child cry it out. Go pick up your child, hug them, but we've been told, you know, let them cry it out. Don't let them get in the bed with you. My son got in the bed with my husband and I until he was probably, I don't know, eight or nine. Well, he's not in the bed with us now, for God's Yeah. but we enjoyed having conversations with him during that time. But the professionals were totally against that. And we believed. Yeah, what the professor I think to even in the professional realm people are starting to realize that different People respond differently to different things different things work for different. We're not all not every child Yeah, some kids they need to sit in a corner and cry it out some kids. That's not gonna be the what's best for them They're gonna feel abandoned and isolated and that's gonna turn into trauma, you know Some kids they will if you hold them all the time. They are gonna I don't know I spoiled as an infant like just sense to me like it's an infant, spoil your infant. know, but they're only an infant for once ⁓ she's gonna hold me and I'm gonna ruin her life. Yeah, Not just professionals though, ⁓ professionals are where kinda came from. Probably ⁓ made the worse, I don't know. But ⁓ also I like, sometimes. In some cases for sure. for ⁓ Even strangers ⁓ or people from different ⁓ walks of life. have different set of rules that they're operating from and they may not caught up I wanted to share this story that my mom and I went through a month or so ago. So, a little context since we are talking about context here today. want to make sure that you guys understand the full picture of this story. My mom has anxiety. And couple years ago, there was a lot going on politically with and Afghanistan and ISIS and all that stuff. And my mom was ⁓ very ⁓ very up to date on everything that was happening. ⁓ I they were like Walmart closing and they were saying that they were turning them into camps. was a bunch of stuff that was going around that was causing a lot of fear. ⁓ It really pushed my mom a really dark place. I mean... It's funny now. It's funny now. She... ⁓ I gave all my kids like couple of thousand dollars told them to meet me in Canada. Yeah. ⁓ I was I held on to the money for the longest. I don't know. I don't want to get screwed over and then not have two thousand dollars or whatever to get to Canada after my mom gave me money to get there. ⁓ went on a cruise, One bought a something. She kept hers. I was like, ⁓ this is just gonna be my emergency fund just in case. ⁓ so all that say, ⁓ in current climate, ⁓ my mom has made the conscious decision to really stay up to date on what's happening politically because it her to a really dark place. ⁓ There was a woman who my mom met who her very first question to her was something along the lines of who did you vote for? I don't talk about politics, which for some of you sounds like a completely reasonable thing to say to a stranger who asked you who you voted for. However, to some of us, we feel like when someone says, don't, when someone asks who you vote for or is talking about who they vote for. they're not talking about politics, right? some people feel like we're talking about a much bigger picture. And so I was trying to explain to my mom that even though, know, 2002, 1996, whatever, when people, like people didn't talk about politics, they didn't talk about money, they didn't talk about religion. Those just weren't really things that people were talking about. But. culture and society has kind of shifted, especially in the last decade, toward those conversations or conversations that people are having. And it's not necessarily a who did you vote for conversation. It's more of a what kind of thing, what do you value? we on the same page? ⁓ how we see the world. ⁓ so my mom was like, I don't want to talk about it. I want to get into a conversation. I don't want to hear all the, you know, scary things that are happening. want to talk about Yeah. ⁓ Which she understands is privilege to be able to not talk like. She understands that it is a choice. to not be bombarded with all of the news of everything that's going on in the world. And she has to also acknowledge that that is not everybody's reality. For the normal person who hasn't had an experience that almost drove them to... Are you saying I'm not normal? Normal's not enough, what can I say? No, I feel like... she has to acknowledge that that's not everybody's experience. And so when people are having those conversations, she doesn't have to have those conversations with them, ⁓ but should understand the context in which they're asking these questions ⁓ so she doesn't feel like they're trying to get into a conversation about right? Like we're not, that's not a question asking like. where do you feel like the economy is going? Do you feel like taxes are good? You know? don't want to feel attacked. Right, and she also, yeah, doesn't want to feel attacked. but I that the problem wasn't necessarily the question of who did you vote for or however she asked it, right? It was, she like assuming that there was... Emotional safety or connection that wasn't there that's right that wasn't right. That's like overstepping To just ask that as the First question I thought I met a friend and then also that question does carry a lot of weight and so the fear of well Am I going to be attacked for yeah, believing differently than you or whatever and ⁓ I'm just understanding ⁓ who you voted for aside, just understanding that the context of people talking about politics and talking about religion and talking about money has changed. People are advocating for fair wages across the board. Statistics show that make less money than men. And so ⁓ if we hadn't had conversations about money, wouldn't know And so these are conversations that as a society we've just moved towards being more transparent in. ⁓ Her question kind of put me in neutral. ⁓ You know how your car just sits and you're it warm up before you take off? ⁓ where my brain went. ⁓ I just went to neutral. I just shut down. didn't want to engage with her. I was done with her. Well, because you didn't know the context of what she was asking, right? And my mom was like, well, am I just supposed to, if I don't want to talk about politics, am I just supposed to conform? And I was like, no, it's the same as skinny jeans we're in, you know, for a long time, up until recently. And if you still want to wear skinny jeans, that is fine. You have to also understand that people are wearing baggier jeans now. And it doesn't mean that you have to wear baggier jeans. It's just that things are changing, trends are changing, society's changing, culture is changing, and baggier jeans are in now. The 90s are back, babes. And just same thing with those conversations, just understanding the context that things are changing. You don't have to conform, but just understanding. that being said, feel like can use curiosity ⁓ to ⁓ lower defensiveness ⁓ when it comes to the in which is coming to us or the context in which we're living, the society in which we're living in. So instead of ⁓ being defensive, ⁓ I guess in that situation, like with her asking, I don't really know what the right answer would have been. ⁓ I think I told my mom a good answer is like, I ⁓ don't really like talking about politics, but I believe that, everybody's, living their life the best way they can, and I feel like people are. ⁓ truly just trying to protect their values or whatever. Something that acknowledges that I don't really want to get into it because that's not really something that I want to talk about, but I do understand that you're asking more than just who I voted for. I became invisible, but I didn't mean to dismiss her. ⁓ so, ⁓ speaking of dismissed, I think that that happens sometimes. People don't understand ⁓ where a person is coming from ⁓ and that's... creates those gaps. idea of my background and what happened to me. Sometimes people end up feeling dismissed or feeling left behind. I've never been a boomer, I am a millennial. And there some times where things are changing and I do feel like I'm ⁓ getting behind. I feel like things are changing so fast that I can't keep up. ⁓ And of me is just like, who cares? I can't keep up. Things are gonna change whatever they're gonna be if they are gonna be. And part of that is true, but part of it is also I wanna know how things are changing so that I ⁓ know to relate, especially having a child. I wanna know what the world looks like that she's living in so that I can relate to her as she's growing. I think sometimes people give advice that might feel outdated and so we're just like that's old news that's old advice but really it's coming from a place of ⁓ strategy that worked for them and it's not like they ⁓ you know ⁓ are bad advice givers, but they have a set of rules that they didn't realize had changed, and so they're giving advice based on that. also for the boomer who's giving advice, ⁓ knowing that the world is changing and trying to out, you don't have to... ⁓ Understand it but just acknowledging that this is what I would have done when I was 37 But the world has changed now that you're 37 So like with the woman at the YMCA, I didn't feel safe with her. And I think everyone wants their relationships and their connections and their friendships and ⁓ want to feel safe in those connections. Yeah. I think across ⁓ generations, ⁓ like no matter what changes, ⁓ one thing that... will not change is that people want to feel safe, right? Yes, and accept. Safe and accepted, would you say? Or basically safe and whether they're accepted or not because they accept themselves? Safe and maybe seen. ⁓ I don't that... ⁓ Seen and not judged by what the other person sees. Just seeing, ⁓ that's who she is. With no moral or like... There's no condemnation, judgment is the word. me having tattoos is just having tattoos. It has no like bearing on if I'm good person or a bad person or a good professional or a bad professional or a good mom or a bad mom. It's just that I have tattoos. And so being seen without ⁓ feeling like there's anything tied to this idea if someone has a need that makes sense. So ⁓ when Danielle got her first piercing, now that sent me over the edge, not because it was a piercing, ⁓ but because ⁓ Danielle and I have that, keloids, don't know if you all know what that is, it's when your body tells you ⁓ an injury to heal, heal, heal, heal. it's scar tissue. It's scar tissue. ⁓ And so when she got that first I was upset because ⁓ her skin might do that, ⁓ but wasn't because of the piercing and I don't have a problem with her having tattoos that's her creativity. She did cry when I got my first tattoo. I did? Yeah. I got some little stars on my ankle when I was at my internship which we weren't allowed to get tattoos there. We broke kinds I broke the rules. The rules were changing! So funny, that internship... also had a lot of, they had to keep up with culture because when I started there in 2010, I think, they didn't let men grow facial hair because they felt like it was unruly and unprofessional. But now as we know, ⁓ Facial hair is more of a thing now. It's more, not accepted, like, ⁓ I guess, I don't know. Was not accepted? Was it not ever accepted? Was it not accepted like when you were growing up? it seem like? feel like people have always had beards, but for some reason it was just not accepted. dad had a mustache for Yeah, for some reason in this community that I was a part of, they felt like having facial hair, beard, mustache, goatee, chin strap was... unprofessional and so the weren't allowed facial hair. ⁓ shaven was the theme. Yeah. But doesn't have to be that way. I think it's also important to recognize that something can exist and function without needing your full understanding or your endorsement. ⁓ And ⁓ it's less about agreeing with the set rules or agreeing with ⁓ the way that changes are showing up in life ⁓ and more about understanding ⁓ why. understanding that there are different choices and why those different choices exist. ⁓ why ⁓ aren't all homeowners like were when they 40 years old. When I was growing up, my mom was a stay at home mom, my dad was an appliance technician. lived, we had two cars in the suburbs with a two car garage and a community pool on an appliance technician salary. ⁓ that ⁓ just doesn't. happen as commonly now. And so ⁓ it's not we're choosing not to houses or not to whatever because we don't want to, because ⁓ our environment literally changed. the rules for have changed. so just understanding I think will help ⁓ maybe understand the younger generations, what are some things that you ⁓ want millennials know about boomers? ⁓ and about the rules and all that stuff that they're coming from. ⁓ For me, I think... ⁓ I'm understanding that the rules are changing. And that's definitely changing the way I think about the rules. And it's changing the way I think about my past and my future. So for me, I believe it's a good thing that we are having this conversation and that you're bringing things to my attention and other boomers' attention, that it's okay that things are changing. And while you were... younger person things changed well you know while I was a younger person things changed I mean when I was a younger person we got the whole internet so like that's a big change in how everything operates you know right right what was Google what was yeah what was all of that Google do you Google yeah what a weird word And now it's like, okay, let's Google it, you know, we Google we Google medical conditions Yeah, yeah, yeah now, you know So yeah, so I think that ⁓ I would wish that Baby boomers Accept the fact that things are changing in that they're okay with it that they don't try to hold on to the past In a way that is unhealthy but that they're able to move forward. They don't have to agree with all of the changes, just understand that there are things that are changing. Yeah and I think millennials and Gen Z and I think it comes down to understanding that the rules have changed. ⁓ We know that, ⁓ and we are living with because ⁓ we're of creating the rules, right? Like as society, our generation is making up the new rules, the new playbook. ⁓ It's hard enough for us to keep up with those changes and just being able to recognize that it's also hard for older generations to keep up with those changes. know sometimes I'm like, don't you know? Like this is 2026. This is how we're doing things now. But, but really it's like you're playing Uno and all of a sudden someone's changing the rules in the middle of the game. having grace for those who are Trying to not even learn the new rules, but just understand that there are new rules. So people don't even know rules You know that hasn't even clicked for them and I will say this again I feel that's why having ⁓ relationships with people outside of your ⁓ demographic ⁓ is really important ⁓ if you are only hanging out with my mom we were talking about something the other day and my mom was like I don't ⁓ feel like my age that or the other and I'm like, okay, but But let's think about who you're thinking about because you live in Tennessee, ⁓ you live at 55 plus community and so this is the that you're pooling from. So maybe these ⁓ specific, you know, 85 women that you're in contact with ⁓ every day may understand it way, but it may be different for the other, ⁓ you know, ⁓ 395 billion women that exist on the planet or many women there are. And so ⁓ also understanding that yeah, like if I get out a little and I ⁓ know, have conversations with different generations and different cultures and all that stuff, then you start to see a shift overall and not just, you know, kind of staying in the same mindset of the old rules and not really understanding how those things have changed. So, yeah. I think One, if you stop ⁓ that's when you start die, ⁓ in my ⁓ Right? our cells are changing, our bodies, ⁓ I ⁓ our cells regenerating every like ⁓ years, everything is changing and ⁓ not just on individual level but across the world, things are changing, right? And to say, well, you know, well, that's not how things were back in the day. Well, yeah, that's not how things are gonna be. And to say, that's how we do things now is also unfair to you. so ⁓ to change, seeing the changes and adapting to the change doesn't erase the values or the things that you find important. If you still think that... an education is important, then having an education is something that's important to you. And just because more people aren't going to college doesn't mean that you immediately toss education out. It just means it looks different. So maybe it's not getting a formal four-year degree. Maybe it's getting an apprenticeship or maybe, or whatever. So like just because there are changes doesn't mean that your values have to change. It just changes, it reshapes how those values are lived in today's society. like I talked a lot ⁓ which I is fine because this is an audio podcast. you guys so much for... ⁓ Thank you. having this conversation with us, for joining us in this conversation. Super curious to hear what you guys think about how society is changing and how you feel like you're keeping up with or not keeping up with the changes and where you fall in all that. Do you feel threatened? ⁓ I would ask the baby boomer, you feel threatened by the changes that are happening? Yeah. Does it make you feel insecure, fear, anxious? I'd like to know how that ⁓ is affecting the baby boomers. Yeah. Also, mean, millennials too, there's a lot that's just changing right in front of our eyes and we're just trying to keep up and so, you know, what's keeping you from changing or what's keeping you holding on to the old way of doing things or an old mindset or whatever. Or what's propelling you to move forward, understanding that change is changing. One thing that never changes is change. Is change. There's always going to be change. Yeah. So get with it or get lost. I'm just kidding. Thanks again for joining us, guys. Thank Thank you guys. you guys. We would love it if you like, follow. rate podcast. Those ratings are really, really helpful for us. ⁓ ⁓ thank you guys so much. Also, don't forget to check out our sponsor, Ear-goes. 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