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Show #171 Wizdom Fail · Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast

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M because fuck you, that's why, is a founding member of the Odd
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Pods Media Network. Hello, Welcome to this episode of b F Y t
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W, episode number one seventy one. Honestly I lost count after we hit
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the triple digits. Um regardless, this episode, I am your host,
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Aggie Doggie zero eight. I am joined by my two close friends, and
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today we will once again be having a nice little chat and playing some silly
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games, but with a thematic twist. Dungeons and Dragons and other tabletop RPGs.
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Uh, not to really devalue them anymore, but uh that's fair.
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Um. But uh, I've almost certainly mentioned multiple times how much I love
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D and D and a lot of it's per kind of personal. But some
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of it, uh I can't quite remember. Oh yeah, right, Actually
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I remember what the other one was. But let's introduce my cohorts first.
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Um, we'll start with uh. He's the author of the novel Thing host
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of by t W, but I know him also as the notorious airship Captain
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Garth Bigger Dick It's pantsless Aaron Stores. Yes, look at your captain's I'd
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almost forgotten the captain who refused to wear any pants whatsoever, constantly announced this
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is your captain's willie. For context, you played this character during the very
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first time I ever tried to story tell Zach, very first time. Yeah,
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and it's been downhill from there because now I can't have a single normal
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story. Well, I don't have an excuse other than I just really loved
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the idea of a guy who refuses to wear pants. It's just, you
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know, so pretty much your Zepp brand again but in D and D yeah,
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kind of. So, um usually you have like a question this,
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I'm gonna do a little bit of a round table with this question. We'll
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go on run see if every how everybody feels about it or how long we
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go. But um So, one of the reasons I enjoy tabletop RPG games
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is the cooperative storytelling. So even though there is a dungeon master a storyteller
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that kind of directs the story flow, ultimately it's multiple people telling the story,
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some through character development, some through just roles, you know, and
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stuff like that. So what stories? What is like some of the favorite
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stories that you've ever had or ever listened to, like or been a part
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of. Um as far as like cooperative storytelling goes Um. I mean as
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far as being a part of like, nothing will ever top the ten plus
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year campaign of Vampires played yes four hay storytelling. Um, because we just
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never knew what was going to happen from one day to the next. And
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and like the choices that we wound up making weren't always the best, but
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we always had to live with them. Uh, such as I don't know,
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should should I save this memory for later in the show. Um,
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But there's a really good one where we were playing. It was like it
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was in we were in Paris for some reason. There was some kind of
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giant like conclave of vampires, and our boss Vincent had brought us there for
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some reason. We got into a firefight with some mercenaries in like a park
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or something, and they had these ATVs, these huge heavy vehicles, and
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at one point I got pinned by one, like my leg was trapped under
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one and I could not get out. Um and uh and I'm like struggling
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to get free, and reluctant Butter's character Andre says, I I know what'll
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fix this problem, and he fires a grenade from a gritty launcher directly at
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the ATV that I'm trapped under and I just like, immediately, go,
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I gotta get out. I gotta get out now, I gotta go.
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And so I just I just told Hore. I just scrambled whatever I have
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to do to get the hell out of there. And Hori went, okay,
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you get free of the vehicle, but you notice you're now minus one
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leg, and I was like, okay, fair, fair, that's probably
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fair. And then the vehicle exploded and I took some explosion damage, so
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like it was, it wasn't bad enough, you know. And then my
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character spent like the next three months regrowing his legs slowly, like god,
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damn it, he's all deadpooling it just one hanging off the couch. I
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mean, remember, the Masquerade is wild if you look at some of the
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rules like these stampire to be fair, crazy, to be fair. I
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was very new and did not realize that I could have just activated my potents
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and thrown the ATV off of myself, right, but that that was an
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option I could have justin, you know, just got I didn't know,
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but I didn't. I didn't know, Like as far as I knew,
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potents was for combat, not for like lifting heavy things. But the idiot
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it was like it was like my second or third time playing the character,
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right, But that laughs in memory is what caused the whole chain of events.
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That yeah, and that erupted when when one of my best friends decided
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to try and blow me up. So yeah, that was that was that
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was a trip. But yeah, that that is definitely cooperative storytelling because Y
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didn't know what I was gonna do, right, oh my god, and
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none of us realized that reluctant Butter was freaking crazy, right Oh so good
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man, so good yeah, good good times. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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that that's one of my favorites. I have more, but I'll save
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that, save him for a second, because we got to introduce our other
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friend here. Who's here, Let's see, he's a podcaster and a veteran
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as an and as it turns out, the Underdark's most wanted kid, the
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kid it's Stevie. Oh my god, wow, fucking right, this is
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Crez. So when I asked you if you'd like to play D and D
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with us, did I ever mention it was in the Underdark? Because when
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you came back to me with a character who's twelve year old human child who
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also happens to be a gun slinger. It nearly completely shifted the story that
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I had already, going from like this semi serious family drama into like,
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yeah, kid the kid into an under dark meat spaghetti western beets v for
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Vendetta meets Disney's Hercules, don't ask. Oh my god, that story.
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It was nuts. It was dark. It had some serious dark undertones for
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like a good couple sessions. And then I'm like, hey, Steve,
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would you like to play with us? He's like yeah, and then he
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shows up and the first thing he does is bust these dudes out of prison
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with explosives with like dual guns, like a fucking cowboy, and it's like,
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let's go. And then ever since then, the visions basically going like
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around like leading a resistance group with like salities like like you know, getting
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up on bars like that, like you're too young, you know, young
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to be in this. Get out of here. Yeah. It's all taking
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place in the under dark, so it's a horrible place. Yeah, it's
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pretty amazing. I get to play us a twelve year old, you know,
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like in real life. No, it was awesome. I totally totally
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forgot about that. We had at a homebrew session we were playing here upstairs
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with him and a couple of he's another roommate, the cybernetic diabetic, and
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like, yeah, play and I'm like all right, And I was like,
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fucking well, I'll play it. I had the book of just classes,
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so I just rolled. I'm like, ah, fucket this and I'm
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like, oh shit, okay, this looks pretty mean. Can I have
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a gun? Showed him to shit. He's like, yeah, I guess.
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So I'm like, all right, I have too. I mean yeah,
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I mean yeah, for your class. Okay cool. And I'm just
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like, this is broke, sure, like fucking broke, Like I have
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revolvers. It's like, come on, hey, it's stat in the game.
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And I'm like, you know what's screw? I don't care? Yeah,
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who's It was a lot of fun. I totally forgot the kid.
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The kid, But BOYD did you shift that story? Yeah? Same to
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you. Any favorite stories come to your minds, it's not especially the ones
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that you might have experienced with others that kind of may have died. Yeah.
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I will tack onto Aaron's original story, the one horror, the epic
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Vampire of the Masquerade story Jorge told as Motherfucker could tell a story like I
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wish we had these recorded, I really do, just the stories he would
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tell. He had books upon books of like notes and stuff, and he
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had everything to the scriptors he would use. You could see the game unfolding
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as the three or four of us were at the table, just like Roland
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Dice and like looking at stats and shit, trying to look things up.
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You can see all of it. It was so fucking cool. But I
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remember Horrey telling a story. I was there for this. I was playing
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my character Ethan at this point, the other Assamite that was mentored by Andre,
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who was Butters character, And it was towards the end of a chapter
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or something, and I can't remember exactly what happened, but I remember Andre
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pretty much giving up towards the end of it and exiting the story by leaving
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his home in a morning as the sun was rising and pretty much sacrificing himself.
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And I freaked the hell out for a minute, like wait, what,
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no, no, like is it actually hit me like emotionally and shit,
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and we were all just like h and then like Jorge just like well,
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the story had to keep going, and the way he worded it around
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it I don't even know how he did it, but he's like, Okay,
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this is what you see. And he described Andre pretty much like leaving
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the house or whatnot and sacrificing himself. And I don't even know where we
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went from there. Do you even recall from that point? I genuinely I
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seemed to recall. We were you and I were having adventurous top side and
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every now and then Joree would cut to Andre in hell, like literally,
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Andre fought his way out of hell. Yeah, come to rejoin us,
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something like that. It was. It was something like that. Um,
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but you know, obviously Reluctant Butter was such a huge part of the game,
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and we couldn't even entirely right. I mean you tube started. I
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mean it was Horde, You and Reluctant Butter. Yeah, that was the
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Like I wasn't in it until later, like I would come over and hang
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out like when you got it, because I didn't know anything about Vampire at
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the time. I played D and D and that was it and I'm trying
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to learn. So I was like, oh, watch, and I'm like,
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this story is amazing. I want to be in the story. Yeah,
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that story is It's it's epic and it continues on. There's so much
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because it lasted I think over fifteen years. But that was that was that
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was reluctant Butter's choice and uh and like a good game master like Orge just
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he went with it. Yeah, he just rolled with that punch um.
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So yeah, that's that's an excellent example of cooperative storytelling. Yeah, I
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did. It was definitely an emotional beat that neither Stevie nor I work.
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I think I cried, I really do. Yeah, I remember that you
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did. I think I cried. Man. I was so fucking invested in
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this ship and I was just like, what the fuck? Just jaw I
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was like, oh no, what is sets are gonna do without his best
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friend? Dude? It was fucked up man hard. Yeah, man.
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Yeah, And it's very good like parallel too, because it's like the same
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characters. In one story he's blasting you with ana and the other story he's
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giving you like a heartfelt goodbye and just dusting himself. Yeah, this is
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the same character. It's the same character, guy, and the decision made
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sense for that character both times. If that tells you the roller coaster that
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that character went on. Oh my god, nuts man. All right,
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so who's like, Oh, that's me. I am left as I introduced
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yourself, as I said, I am Auggy Doggy zero weights. He's a
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oh and no cute character reveal for you. No, nothing like that.
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By the way, I've been thinking about it, and you got my character's
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name wrong. It's not Garth. It's Garris, Garrett, Garis Garett,
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bigger Gareth, Gareth should have been should have been Girth, bigger Dicker.
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Okay, we need Garett and bigger Dick ms from Whitey Oh god, anyway
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for much oh boy? So um yeah, so so I have so many,
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so many favorite stories. I just don't have the time to tell them
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all because there's ones where I'm the one being the storyteller and I'm watching as
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my players take my story and just run away with it. And there are
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times where I'm like so happier with what I'm doing and my players are like,
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oh, this is really great and just following along. But some of
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the best stories are actually ones that other people told and I was just part
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of. And the one that I really liked was something I played in public
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during Adventure League, and it was the Tomb of annihilation, and we had
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gotten all the way to the end, gotten into the labyrinth, trying to
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solve puzzles, avoid traps, and we're like very nearly getting killed every single
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time. And the whole time we're all still we've known each other for a
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while, so we're like bouncing quips and things off each other. And my
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character, Lazarus, who was a life cleric, has basically gone almost fucking
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insane at this point because when he started the adventure he was in like heavy
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mail armor. He was a proud member of his order and ready to do
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whatever it took to stop this horrible curse that's been plaguing adventurers and other people
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who suffer from undeath across the world or whatever. Okay, the jungle is
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fucking hot, so he had to get rid of his armor otherwise he die
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of heat exhaustion. The jungle is full of danger. Most of the plants
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apparently are carnivorous, and all of them try to eat him. Most of
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the jungle's inhabitants are not safe even to touch. One person he saved was
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a little frogman name imbach in Bach is poisonous to the touch, and as
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thank you, decided to hug Lazarus. He is a frail man by the
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end of this adventure, and he's going bat shit and saying and he's rambling
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off these riddles and hints that he had gotten from what he believes was something
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he uh, protein, protein ordained, divine, divine from his deity um.
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And he's like, he's like, oh, yeah, you know,
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you know, don't lie, you know, you know, tell no tooth
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to the weeping child, and and you know, don't drink yellow snow yellow
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snow, or you know what. I don't look, I don't want to.
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I don't remember all. I don't remember all the hints. I just
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remember some of them were kind of shit, um, but some of them,
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it is, is the one thing I remember is that how everybody's just
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kind of like at this point, either so sick and tired of the campaign,
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sick and tired of the dungeon, or just playing out their characters exhaustion
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or hysteria or whatever. And our rogue goes into this room and a crying,
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ghostly child appears on the other side with no eyes, and she as
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she's weeping, she goes, why can't I see anything? And without missing
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a beat, the rogue goes because you're dead. Not even half a second
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later, the whole room flashes and Red Kid is screaming now and now we
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get a bansheet. And this whole time, my character has been like I
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have literally the cheat sheet of hey, speak no truth to the crying child,
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right, and the whole time, I'm like, yep, remember this,
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guys, We've got to remember this. God, I remember this.
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Our druid goes, hey speak no truth to the crying child, and I,
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in real life, yelled out fuck. The whole store went quiet as
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I said I did this in public. Good job, loggie, it's happening,
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and I all fuck and I yeah, and then I just kind of
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like put my hood up a little bit and just kind of sat there and
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grop basically seized why my friends were laughing at my misfortune. But you know,
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it's so much fun. That's I know, that's part for the course
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of it is part for the course The better, the best laid plans will
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be ruined by your best friend because they will fuck around and find out that's
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true. We're just fuck around. Never Vormos or what was it that fucking
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taxicab bullshit? It was like a slightly more evil Loki. Yeah, it's
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just there to fuck with you more than anything. Yeah. Yeah, he
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was a villain who did not did not necessarily have a goal outside of messing
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with you all day long. Right, the same story Horror Story, the
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Vampire one, just a recurring villain, which was cool to have a recording
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villain because yeah, usually in those types of games, like you fight some
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of them, you kill it, it's done, and then that's the end
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of it. Like in those type of tabletop games, to have a villain
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have an impact on you to where the moment you find out it's him because
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he was disguised as something else, or you hear his name, you instantly
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get angry. It's like it's like, holy fuck man, when you're playing
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a tabletop game, just the mention of this guy's name and everybody at the
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table gets mad, like physically fucking mad. Right, it's fucking nuts.
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It's that with one of those scenarios with that fucking guy. It is funny
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when you think about it, because like the same people like who are like
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no like modern villain. It's like, yeah, like Loki or like any
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other villain like Thanos or say a video game villain of any kind, Like
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I'm trying to I'm trying to think of one. And then when you can't
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think of one, but exactly where you go and like you're like, okay,
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yeah, villain, But then everybody knows that because it's a game that's
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out there. But then when you're like, when you mentioned a villain in
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a story that only your friends know, and you're like, oh, yeah,
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fuck that guy. It was so hard blah blah blah, and everyone's
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like, oh cool, what video game was that? No, there's a
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tabletop then where he created this character? You fucking devious asshole. Right,
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But I think we've rambled on long enough. Actually, um so I say
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we go to our first break and when we come back, we'll get into
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a game. How's that sound sounds good at all? Right? I'm Richie
22:03
aka Midnight Agent Raw. I'm Devin aka Special Delivery Dev. We're the Supermediate
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Bros. Podcast and each week we give a comedically informative take on movies,
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music, television, pro wrestling, and much more. Check us out at
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Supermedia Bros podcast dot com, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere else that
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you can listen to podcasts shades on. We're all welcome back. Now we're
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onto the game portion of our game show of podcasts games. Sorry about all
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the talking. I like talking. We liked Indian tabletops. Yeah, d
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Indee talk. You talk a lot. Yes, there is a lot of
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talking, all right, But what I have prepared for you guys today is
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a b fy t W pub quiz them two D D Dungeons and Dragons awesome.
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So we know Dungeons and Dragons inspires a lot of things, but one
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things we know they inspire the most are movies, right right, Yeah,
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I guess yeah, yeah, movies. Okay, So I'm gonna ask you
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I got I got a few set up here. I'm gonna ask you some
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trivia questions and multiple choice to make them easier. Okay, So we're just
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writing these down ahead of time then, or would you switching back and forth?
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Oh no, yeah, both of you at the same time. Okay,
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make it easier on me, sweet, don't make me do mad please.
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Anyways, So onto our first question, trivia question. Let's see if
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you know this one. As of fifth edition, players have thirteen official classes
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to choose from. However, in the earlier days of D and D there
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were only three classes. What were those classes? Were they? A the
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Warrior, Elf and Claric, B Fighter Archer and priest, ce, fighting
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Man, Magic user and cleric or D Barbarian, wizard and Claric. Oh,
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this is harder than I thought I was gonna be h. Would you
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like me to say it again? No, I'm good, I'm good.
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Okay, Well let's see what do you guys think. We'll start with Aaron.
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I think it's C. Did you see fighting man, Magic user,
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and cleric? Yeah, fighting man? What do you think? I chose
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A? You think a warrior, Elf and cleric. I don't think that's
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right, But I mean if you think alf, you assume like anything elf,
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like magic or bo. Well, I will tell you the correct answer
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is see fighting man, magic user and Clara. Hell, yeah, that's
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just D and D. Very first, very first, White Box. I
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never played though, And I know this because they took those classes from an
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earlier game called I think chain Mail, yes, something like that. Yeah,
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And it's so it is so weird that it's just called fighting man and
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right, fighting man not like warrior. Warrior was right there, like literally
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right there. They could have just gone, we need a warrior type class
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Fighting Man. It's fighting Man for the warrior. Yeah. Yeah, we'll
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use fighting Man for the warrior. Okay, good call Mega Man twelve the
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latest Grove up Boss Fighting Man, Fight Man. He'll fight you two.
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That's a point for me. It is not for me, No, not
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for you. D move on to question number two. Dungeons and Dragons feature
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quite the selection of gods and demigods. However, they once got in hot
26:04
water after being served a copyweight copyright claim from which companies mythos ay, I
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was like, are there multiple choices? No? Hey, war Hammer Age
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of Sigma, Games Workshop, b Odysseus, Fantasy Games Unlimited, ce call
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out Cthulhu, Chaoism or Chaoism or however it's pronounced, or d Pathfinder Pizo
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the Italian edition, the Italian. I don't think they're an Italian So Dungeons
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Dragons features quite the selection of gods and demigods. However, they once got
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in hot water after being served a copyright claim from which company's mythos A Warhammer
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Age of Sigmar from Games Workshop, be Odysseus from Fantasy Games Unlimited, setho
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from Chaoism or Chaoism or D Pathfinder from Piso. I think it's D the
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last one D pathfinder from Pizo. What do you think, aaron um?
27:26
I put C because I could very easily see, especially with the range of
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different gods in the love craft Ian mythos, that they could accidentally copy,
27:34
like some of the features of one that could get them in hot water.
27:37
That's fair, Yeah, it makes sense, like it's probably wild. It's
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probably wrong though, it's a wild guess. Yes, well, I will
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tell you. Their correct answer is, in fact cell from from from how
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is it spelt c h A O S I U S chaosium. I'm like,
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what does calism help? It's a new religion. I'm starting Buddhism,
28:12
but not so Yeah, the chaos right though it certainly it probably wasn't the
28:22
first time, and it definitely was not the last. They did in fact,
28:26
getting some hot water um legally with chaosium like calcium um. Well,
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anyways, moving on to number three. Let's if you guys can remember this
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one. Mazes and Monsters in nineteen eighty two film about a group of college
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students come fall for the wicked Satanic role playing game of Dungeons and Dragons.
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Oh no, However, it featured this actor in their first leading role.
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Was it a Corey Eldman, b Ameilia Estevez, Ce, Tom Hanks or
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d Andrew McCarthy. Fuck, I don't remember. I remember the movie.
29:10
I don't I remember watching it. I remember lapping my ass off at the
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fucking accusations and shit, holy fuck, but I cannot remember who was in
29:18
it for life of me. So I'm gonna go with this one. Aaron,
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do you need me repeated or do you guys see again? There's no
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way I could have done a third time. So what do you got?
29:36
Cv C C Tom Hanks? Yeah, well, I regret to inform you
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that is correct, Tom Hanks. It was the lead, first leading role,
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even though if you google it, it insists his actual first role was
29:51
in Splash, But that was in nineteen eighty four film and my Maze sponsors
29:56
nineteen eighty two, So I don't think his name was Tom Hanks, and
30:00
that I think it had an extra like I had said something, it was
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like spelled it. He's just known as thanks, yeah, thanks, thanks,
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thanks. No, it's it's an It's a performance that will live and
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in for me. Yeah, fucking I don't remember. I don't remember it
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much, remember being dude, what am I doing up here? Starts crying.
30:26
Yeah, like, dude, you can't fly, you can't fly,
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you can't do this. It's so bad. Yeah, he was so fucking
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influenced by D and D. He thought he was his actual character and shit.
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Yeah, and they get him to come they get him to come down
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by using the game's rules against him. Yeah, you can't do that,
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you know, because it'll break the rule of the of the collection or whatever.
30:49
The fuck. He's like, you'll break the law and that that'll hurt
30:53
your master. You don't want to do that, and then he just kind
30:56
of like it's confused, and then he just breaks I don't know what I'm
31:02
doing up here. Many what happens, I mean, worth the watch.
31:11
But it is definitely a comedy, not the drama. It's trying so very
31:15
hard to definitely not trying to be an afformative fucking thing. Well, speaking
31:23
of D and D movies, number four one came out recently, Dungeons and
31:29
Dragons Honor among Thieves. But do you know how many Dungeons and Dragon movies
31:33
there are? For the record, I'm not including Maises and Monsters because they
31:37
are, yeah, for lack of a better word, there propaganda against tabletop
31:42
RBG. Yeah, And I wouldn't really constitute him a D and D movie,
31:47
more of a you know, hate movie exact. But here are your
31:52
choices. Are there A two Dungeons Dragons movies, B three US and Dragons
32:00
movies, see five Dungeons and Dragons movies or D six Dungeons and Dungeons Dungeons
32:07
and Dragons movies. It's like a tongue twister. But now so you are
32:14
counting the new one, the new one. Only ones that are like Dungeons
32:22
and Dragons like legit, like they're not like an offshoot or porn or porn
32:28
because there's a lot of those like six ship. I watched more of those
32:36
already. Would you got? I? Joe C C five five? Would
32:42
you got? I also put ce I. It's not so much that I'm
32:46
that I'm thinking you are are like just constantly going to C for whatever reason.
32:52
But I know there was the one like back in the two thousands with
32:55
fucking Jeremy whatever his name. Um, I know it was a new one,
33:00
and I think there were three direct to videos. I know there was
33:06
at least two sequels to the two thousand movie, but they both came direct
33:12
to video as far as I know, and I think there's another one,
33:15
like it takes place in a different universe. It might even be animated for
33:19
all I know. Shit, So I'm like, it's at least five.
33:22
It could be six. But I was like, it's been see this far,
33:25
might as well be seeing again. Right, Wow, that's how I
33:29
figured. That's my logic. It was close. We're going to find out
33:34
one way or another. Well, I like your logic, but unfortunate that
33:37
it's incorrect. Direct answer is D six, damn it. Yeah. Yes,
33:42
there was the two thousand Dungeons of Dragons movie, the two thousand and
33:45
three Scourge of the World, A Dungeons and Dragons Adventure two thousands, fives
33:50
Dungeons and Dragons, right after the Dragon God two thousand and eights, Dragon
33:53
Lance, Dragon of Bottom Twilight. So you had you had the atom Atted
33:57
one Night, Yeah, uh, twenty twelves Dungeons and Dragons three, The
34:00
Book of Vile Darkness. Yeah, that was the second, and then finally
34:06
here in twenty twenty three Dungeons and Dragons Honor among these, I missed the
34:09
Scourge of the whatever that one scourge of the world, scourge screwed to the
34:15
world. Dungeons and Dragons Adventure did not did not have that one in my
34:19
mental coffers anyway, why would you you consider such a thing? Anyways?
34:27
All right, I got one more here, guys, So let's go ahead
34:30
and do this. So D and D was inspired by several classic fantasy works,
34:36
and we know inspired a number of movies for better or worse. But
34:39
which of these non Pathfinder t TRPGs were directly inspired from D and D.
34:47
A Basements and Bugbears, B Foyers and Frankenstein's See Tunnels and Trolls. Sorry,
35:06
you might want to do that one again, hello cut, okay,
35:20
A Basements and Bugbears, B Foyers and Frankenstein's See Tunnels and Trolls or d
35:30
Addicts and Eric Cocra. M Um, yeah, all right, can you
35:42
give me those again? Sorry? A Basements and Bugbears, B Foyers and
35:47
Frankenstein's See Tunnels and Trolls or D Addicts and Eric Ocra. Yeah, yeah,
36:00
what a good whatever. Yeah, at this point I think it's a
36:05
you think it's a bug Bears, Baby, Basements and bug bears. I
36:08
think that's awesome. Now I also think it's A. But I wrote down
36:13
C because fuck it CE five times in a row. Yes, but also
36:19
tunnels controlls. Sounds like it could be real. It could be the other
36:22
one though, the Frankenstein ones. I like that because they might have just
36:23
done like a Halloween thing. Well here you go. Yeah, so what
36:27
was your answer? A? A and yours with C C so basements and
36:30
bug bears or tunnels controls? Which one is it? Or is it neither
36:37
of them? Right? Well, let me it's wrong. Well, let
36:40
me tell you something, Steve. It's C tunnels controls. The only reason
36:49
it is because you and apparently they're still doing stuff tunnels controls. Yeah,
36:52
that's surprised. That's cool though. It sounds like they're I don't know where
36:55
addition they're on, but they're still doing stuff. Uh. Well, that's
37:00
fantastic. Well I got four points by writing seed down five times. Nice.
37:05
I got one for writing it down one man. Well that was funny.
37:12
That was fun Okay, well, before we go on to the next
37:15
game, let's cut to a break. We will be back with you after
37:21
this. Hi. I'm Shannon, I'm Jamie We're Married with Television, Married
37:34
with TV dot Com. We are a couple of Hollywood dormies on the outskirts
37:37
of the film and TV industry, and we talk about our favorite TV shows,
37:42
music, and movies, and sometimes they talk back to us. Our
37:45
podcast is Married with Television One Word on Stitcher, Spotify by twos and SoundCloud.
37:52
Somebody Amazon is here, and we are a proud member of the Odd
37:57
Pods Media Network. R oh, Hello Bear, welcome back. Before we
38:19
get into the game, we actually got some messages. Yeah, dude,
38:23
we got a comment on Patreon. It was actually to the last show we
38:29
did, Show one seventy that Nancy Drew in The Unturnable Knob. The titles
38:36
we come up with, they're always a pleasure to look back and go,
38:38
what the fuck are we thinking just that title? Like, I know,
38:43
like the beginning of that episode, I started with a shrikus that air that
38:47
just had me. I was like, that's gonna be it. That the
38:52
title and then fucking the Nancy Drew and the Unturnable Knob, and I'm just
38:55
like, holy fuck, that is fucking perfect and totally sums up the entire
39:00
Showy. Yeah, but we gotta comment by David McGinn, one of our
39:07
patrons there. He's like, I was hoping to hear about the Philly Jersey
39:10
trip and you sure did. You sure didn't disappoint, thanks, guys.
39:14
So he was really happy about that one. So that's cool as shit.
39:17
Yeah, man, no, happy to share. It was a lot of
39:21
fun. It was. It was a crazy trip and I'll never forget it,
39:23
right, Yeah, so many ridiculous things happened that it was just definitely
39:29
one of the highlights was to enjoy. Yeah, and I'm sure I was
39:31
there. But next time, yeah, next time. Do you guys,
39:36
Do you guys need your a little intimate trip together? Yeah, one on
39:40
one session with Aaron reading for that. Man. Before we get dirty,
39:53
let's play a few games. Yeah. This game, gentlemen, you may
40:01
have heard of. Do you know the rules of the game? God?
40:13
Yeah, no, never, no, it expects the rules of the game.
40:21
The rules of the game expect you. Anyways. Yeah, we're playing
40:25
rules of the game where you get to guess what the rules of the game
40:29
are. All right, Now, here's the Aaron has won the rules.
40:40
Here. Here's the thing about this rules. Oh my god, you're going
40:45
to guess the rules of the game pretty fucking quickly, I'm telling you right
40:49
now. Okay, so this is really played to the end kind of game.
40:52
All right, just say you know, that's fine. I don't all
40:57
have to be about figuring and but yeah, let's uh, let's have some
41:01
fun with this. I think you guys will do well. So I will
41:05
prompt you both, um, it'll be the same each and then obviously give
41:10
you the response then we move on. Cool all right, I will start
41:15
with Stevie. Stevie strength fail two. An acceptable response would be you lift
41:32
your you lift with your arms instead of your knees, and your back hurts
41:38
like a son of a bitch Aaron, Okay, strength fail, same prompt.
41:49
Yeah, um, you lift with your knees, but you forgot that
42:01
your knees are actually made of Graham crackers. Very good, it's correct,
42:12
that's the point, thank you. I also just realize I gave the response
42:21
in the middle when I should have waited, so I apologize. Ye,
42:28
dude, it's all about fun, man. This one actually is about fun
42:30
and once you get into the groove of it. So if you'd like to
42:32
try that strength fail against TV, that is fair strength fail. Yeah,
42:42
and fairness and m hmmm, what was that strength fail? It's the actual
42:52
thing. Yeah, okay, like confusing it for a second. Um,
42:57
I go to lift of my knees and realize they aren't there and fold over.
43:07
Okay, I guess, Yeah that was all right? Yeah, wow,
43:12
you guys would have pity. That's so sad. Thanks, just because
43:16
I feel no more, no more, no more about that. Okay,
43:19
this tie, I'll make sure well do this right since time I started with
43:23
Aaron. Aaron, decks fail. Okay, Um, you uh made the
43:34
decision to go roller skating near the side of a cliff forgetting that you never
43:40
once learned how to roller skate? Nice? Nice accept that, Yeah,
43:50
Stevie, Yes, decks fail. I was chasing this guy in his little
43:55
go kart right, and he threw a banana out on it and I tried
43:59
to avoid it, but only the heel of my shoe got caught in the
44:01
banana and I fel okay yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, I tried
44:09
to avoid you tex right, yeah, okay, an acceptable response, and
44:14
I did it correctly this time. You drop your arms and the football Kareem's
44:19
straight into your drunk yeah, fair ste Yeah, con fail or a constitution
44:30
fail. M M, I should probably say the whole thing too, um
44:37
con okay, jeez about it. While sitting across from the dread play Williams
44:49
or roberts, I totally inhale through my nose the poison. He tells me
44:55
to inhale, saying that it is sent lessen all that and if you ingest
45:00
it, you die. Hands it back to him, not realizing that I
45:04
just ingested it and I'm currently poisoning myself. Watch that scene again. He
45:08
inhales right before he says he takes it and puts it into the drink.
45:12
He actually inhales it into his nose. So messed up. I never noticed
45:16
that. Yeah, I watched it something stupid thing last week. You're not
45:22
we are and you're not. I am so sorry, God, absolutely no,
45:25
absolutely, but I fail. So but you did fail? Yeah?
45:29
So that was it? A con fail though, I face just rebreathed at
45:35
the wrong time. What is the contract for her? Just do it?
45:40
I got a five. Okay, you breathe at the wrong time. I
45:46
guess it would be more of an intelligence one. Fair fair, So I
45:51
don't I don't thanks for that one. Yeah, yeah, Aaron con fail
45:57
Uh, you tried to consume Corey and Ale, not realizing that you're a
46:02
human and what that will do is liquefy your insights. Wow, that would
46:12
Yeah, God, I need to play D and D again. Jesus.
46:15
Actually that's from Mass Effects. Yeah, it's an RPG, so yeah,
46:21
follows it follows the same rules. Hum. An appropriate response would have been
46:28
that morning coffee finally kicks in. I get that. I'm trying to like,
46:37
is that a fail or a win? Though it's a diuretics? So
46:45
and then in the middle of battle, Oh, I need to go remember
46:52
that. Remember that. Yeah, maybe the ham was a little bit more
46:57
green than it should have been green. All right, onto the next I
47:05
forget where my placement was. I started with s yeah Aaron, So now
47:08
Aaron starts intelligence fail? How appropriate? Um? You successfully play b A
47:24
dge into the piano, not realizing that the rule to the the the answer
47:30
to the puzzle was actually face nice nice. I like that. Mine was
47:39
so simpler when you said that. The first thing I did was like,
47:43
you're in a temple or whatever and you had to beat tic tac toe on
47:45
the wall. That's a good one. I like that one. You can't
47:52
because it's an intelligence. You can't win a tic tac too. And I
47:57
was like, oh, you put the like the X in the middle inside
48:00
of the fucking corner. Okay, I gotta accept that as well. Another
48:07
acceptable answer opened brain hurt. All right, you know what the next one
48:16
is? Uh? God, I can't remember, Stevie sure, wisdom fail
48:22
or wisdail? Wisdom? Oh my god, wisdom? Oh I know this
48:30
one man. Wisdom is hard, man. I never play a character has
48:36
any wisdom um or as a wisdom check. Fuck is wisdom. I'm gonna
48:45
go with wisdom would be knowledge, I think, or's it intelligence? This
48:55
is so difficult, man, I don't know. I'm gonna go with.
48:59
You're out in the woods and you're trying to survive on your camping ship by
49:01
yourself, and you eat the wrong mushrooms thinking you were told that these were
49:06
those from the past. I don't know that. I see, yeah,
49:12
well it is survival is wisdom. But I don't see where you're Why do
49:17
you keep going on these like long winded stories. You could just do it
49:21
simple like eating. You eat the wrong mushrooms, the mushroom that you were
49:24
told was good for you. It doesn't feel like a wisdom thing. No,
49:30
yeah, it might be more of an intelligence thing. That's what I
49:31
was thinking. I was like, I think knowledge is intelligence, not wisdom.
49:35
Well, wisdom, So as far as I so long as I've known
49:39
it, I've considered wisdom to be decision making. So my answer would be,
49:44
you drink the quarrean ale knowing that you're a human and that it could
49:49
probably liquefy your insides. But you think I'm strong, I can handle it.
49:55
I like Aaron's that one says, So that was not a wise decision.
50:05
That was not a wise decision. Yeah. What I had was you
50:08
are pretty sure you've seen that tree before? Yeah? Okay, Yeah,
50:17
So finally we have charisma fail. My entire high school experience accept so much
50:32
acne. All of a sudden, the acne just fills up the face overnight.
50:42
You gotta look in the mirror and it's just like, yep, that's
50:45
exactly what happened today, of all days, that's mine. It's okay.
50:53
I'm like, wait, chrisma fail. I break out like a motherfucker.
50:58
Fairly. You break out into acne. Upon meeting the diplomat, you tell
51:02
her that her teeth are shiny. Madam, your flatulench is great. You're
51:12
so fragrant. Yeah, I could accept that as well. Another acceptable prompt
51:21
would be great, now the dragon is hungry, angry, and sexually arouse
51:30
the lethal combo one. Yeah, I don't think I want to be in
51:34
a round or arouse dragon who was both angry and hungry. God, what's
51:39
it gonna do to you? First? Well, not viously, I'd eat
51:42
you. I kind of hope he kills me first. Quick strength fail all
51:50
right? No, I mean really strength fail strength toil. I can't quick
51:58
strength though, I gotta slow strength bucket. I tried deadlifting three hundred pounds.
52:10
My insights come out my ass that Yeah, that's an acceptable fail.
52:21
God, I think that would actually happen to appropriate. It's a horrific fail.
52:29
Critical. That's double yes. You have disadvantage and you roll double double
52:37
one and death doord all in one, right, Aaron, straight pill.
52:45
You're hanging onto the tree, but your strength finally leaves you and you fall.
52:52
That's absolutely acceptable. Another acceptable one would be, as you're dragged away
52:55
by the roper around your leg, you hear the bard on a back exclaimed
53:00
the back I've seen this hen ty befar yep, yep. Next are there
53:10
more rounds? There's We're going through the chart one last time. So next
53:14
is decks fail. M oh no, oh is this just anybody? It's
53:28
all for laughs? Um, um, you accidentally put it into the wrong
53:34
hole a feller. You don't have consent. That is a maximum consent.
53:47
That's why you concent before anything started. Fined by this. Please read all
53:54
this inside it, then you may enter the room. That's how it should
53:59
all always be. Your decks fail. Um, my decks fail. Shoot
54:07
trying to catch the greased up piggot graduation. Yeah, I could see that
54:14
slips right through your arms every time. But another acceptable decks fail would have
54:19
been your hand accidentally slips further into the man's pocket. He turns to you,
54:22
confused but not angry again fail or win who says there's not a lot
54:36
of wisdom. But first con fail? God, I remember my twenty first
54:45
birthday. That was a whole con fail by the end of the night,
54:46
Holy crap everything. Oh yeah, yeah, anybody who turned twenty one desperately
54:54
holding it right. Never So I'm just gonna say everybody's twenty first birthday con
55:00
fail everybody's twenty first. If you're in the States, twenty first ship face
55:09
till your face shits. Okay, yeah, accurate? Did I get Yeah?
55:22
I got two con saves out of that one. Door count fails out
55:24
of all right, yeah, unacceptable on one would be turns out you couldn't
55:29
hold your breath as long as you thought. Geez, yeah, that's for
55:34
sure. Anyways, something a little less, oh maybe more depressing intelligence fail
55:42
beating the minute tour at chess. You ever seen an angry minuteur Oh,
55:51
that feels like an intelligence win with a backfire? Right? That almost?
55:55
I mean that is? That is would be a wisdom. Yeah, I've
56:00
used that for you, if you're good enough to beat the minut I wished
56:05
to change my answer, right, I'll save it for that one. Standing
56:09
directly in front of a machine with rotating blades that are very close to your
56:13
face, you still press the glowing button, the shiny red button, not
56:21
labeling the wand which end was front? I got one, I've got something.
56:30
I got some here. Another acceptable one would be your spell of Phizzles,
56:35
the hot sorceress you had a crush on, laughs at you and the
56:37
barbarian pants you in front of the whole party nerd. Yeah, that's pretty
56:44
funny. Aol again, all over again, just flashback, all flashbacks,
56:54
list pantsing in front of the crush of my dreams, all because you played
57:00
D and D wisdom fail. Oh you beat a minitary chest? How original
57:07
new? Where do you come up with these things? Oh? Man?
57:12
Just can you decide to run for office? I'll accept that. Really shit,
57:27
The only thing you are absolutely sure of is that whatever that dude said
57:34
had words in it. Nice. I was gonna say, for a real
57:38
quote unquote or a real one. You attempt to heal you your teammate who's
57:44
undead. If you don't know it harms them. Yeah, the nerds.
57:55
I can only imagine how it's all out of context. And finally, but
58:00
not less, charisma fail. You offered twenty dollars to the stripper but she
58:06
walks away. Oh man, I was gonna say, no, it's no
58:21
fuck charisma mm hmm. Sleeping beauty wakes up before she let you kiss her.
58:40
Failed to charisma check out an unconscious a right like no, don't kiss
58:45
me? Well, an acceptable and lastly, an acceptable charisma fail response would
58:58
have been you are so lame. Your character's mom passes behind you, wearing
59:02
a nightgown, loafers, and carrying a laundry basket full of your dad's dirty
59:07
underwear. She loudly tells you have you done your co charge yet? I
59:13
told you to do your charge before you play adventure? Who's a wats it
59:16
with your friends? Little out there? As you could tell, it's the
59:24
end there. Good job, but man, that was a good time,
59:30
very awesome game. Thanks for playing along. Do you ever figure out the
59:32
rules of the Yeah we did, somebody win, I don't remember. I
59:37
think we all one and at the same time we didn't. Yeah, we
59:40
did, just go through two rounds of fails. Yeah. Yeah. It's
59:46
kind of depressing think about it. Yeah. Yeah, But here's here's something
59:53
a little less depressing. That's the end of the show. It's over.
1:00:00
Thank every ready for listening. If you'd like to find us, we are
1:00:07
on social media's sites. But Aaron, what social media sites are those?
1:00:14
Uh? Twitter? Sure? Just Twitter, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram,
1:00:21
the usual on the usual. I am Hansel Saran on Twitter. I am
1:00:29
on his fame novel, a novel, because he's got a novel, yes,
1:00:34
called Things Annie coming soon to UM Airports. And dumpsters near you,
1:00:43
some bookstores hopefully, yeah, hopefully. I'm just saying I call myself a
1:00:46
storyteller, but you're technically a legit storyteller. Now I will see. I
1:00:51
guess there's there's an actual record of it. There is a book on the
1:00:57
physical evidence of your story. I'm a story fabricator, not necessarily a storytell
1:01:01
fair. That's fair. And where can they find you? Stevie me?
1:01:05
You can find me mostly on Twitter, but on other such things as Midnight
1:01:08
Smoke of Midnight Smoke one. You can find me on the Internet in places
1:01:12
as Augie Doggie zero eight. Uh. You can get a hold of us
1:01:19
on our or get to our website. B fy tw at gmail dot com
1:01:23
is our email, and our website is it's by podcasting podcast at gmail dot
1:01:30
com. Yes, and then our website is by w pod dot dot com,
1:01:36
which is not confusing in any Yeah. Wait, wait, it's so
1:01:38
great that we don't consistently keep the same across all platforms, so they get
1:01:45
easy on us to remember a new email. I guess, oh, when
1:01:47
is it going to be this timepod dot g pot no, nopod dot com.
1:02:00
Jesus just to do it fucking making that shit tonight, wod here we
1:02:15
go, Well, here we go in the meantime, coming up with yes,
1:02:20
we did this store ourselves, but we had help. We have patrons,
1:02:24
yet they share partial of the blame as well. Yes, so we
1:02:31
are on Patreon t W Yeah, and we would like to thank our patrons.
1:02:43
Mexican, Tallyman, Todd Raspberry, Justin B. Flaos, Bridget from
1:02:47
Long Island, Kristin F. David M, Aaron S, Jeremy F,
1:02:52
Donna M. Jim Key, and of course the gate keepers. Without you
1:02:55
guys, none of this would be possible. There is mister McCann on that
1:03:00
list. The guy who commented, have we not updated the patron's list in
1:03:05
sometime? I think that's David M. It was that David M. Yeah,
1:03:08
okay, just made sure. Yep. Problem We got chica, guys.
1:03:15
We know we remember those who support us. We love you guys.
1:03:20
You are awesome. In case we have forgotten someone, We're so so sorry.
1:03:24
My god, I'm gonna check the list now tomorrow. I'm gonna go
1:03:28
fucking no, we didn't forgot anyone, guaranteed. What about me, you
1:03:34
asholes? I mean, here's just what we'd also like a quick shout out
1:03:42
and thank you to Colin and Donna Meg's they sent us a book in the
1:03:46
mail, so all right, yeah, I gotta talk to Aaron about that
1:03:50
after so we could pass the book around like the little Slutty Horror it is.
1:03:54
Um, thank you guys so much for centering us literature it's and thank
1:04:00
you for joining us on this episode of Because fuck you? That's why?
1:04:06
What? Yeah, that's the name of the show. I don't know it
1:04:11
ends. I forgot. I just watched crash where to watch, just completely
1:04:18
crashed. I don't know how to him then, you know, you know
1:04:25
what it was because towards the middle there, I'm like, what, did
1:04:28
we ever set up a safety word for Aaron to save me in case I
1:04:30
fucked this up? Never would you like me to jump in? Yeah?
1:04:38
Safety word? Yeah, that's gonna be it from us? Why because fuck
1:04:45
you? That's why you didn't have to point at me. Yes I did,
1:04:49
Yes, I absolutely did. Thank God to be a great God down