Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when you break a narcissist's heart?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about what happens what could
- 0:05happen when slash if you break a narcissist heart heartbreak if
- 0:11you new here, My name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:13I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:15And welcome to episode 1002 of the Narcissist Code.
- 0:36Boom. Welcome back.
- 0:37Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:38Y'all. Yes, yes, yes.
- 0:39We in the thousands, thousands of episodes right now.
- 0:42Thousands. I said yeah.
- 0:45I'm so eternally grateful for y'all.
- 0:47I know I say it all the time, but I'm super thankful for
- 0:49y'all. Because as much as y'all say
- 0:51y'all learn from me, I'll learn even more from you.
- 0:54I promise you that. But yeah, what happens when you
- 0:57break a narcissist's heart? So heartbreak to a narcissist
- 1:00can be viewed in a few different lights because, like Lee, first
- 1:03of all, you can't break a narcissist's heart because those
- 1:06demonic beeps do not have hearts.
- 1:10That that piece of meat that's beating inside of their chest,
- 1:15that is not a heart. That is, a demon's, a demon's
- 1:20brain, whatever y'all want to say, that's the IT operates the
- 1:23demonic nature of the narcissist, You know what I
- 1:25mean? But that's what.
- 1:28That's the type of comments I've been getting, I'll promise you.
- 1:30It's just like you can't break what what's not there.
- 1:33They don't have hearts, so suspend they suspend imagination
- 1:38for a little bit. Imagine that the narcissist in
- 1:40your life, the toxic person in your life, has a heart.
- 1:44What happens if you break that heart?
- 1:46So narcissistic heartbreak is different.
- 1:48Y'all. I mean, because a lot of things
- 1:50that might not break your heart break theirs.
- 1:54Because like I'm be realistic with you, the first time you
- 1:56break a narcissist's heart, you probably won't even know it.
- 2:01The very first time you break a narcissist's heart, you won't
- 2:04even know it. And the crazy thing about it is
- 2:06every single one of you who has been in a in a relationship with
- 2:08a narcissist, every single one of you has broken their hearts.
- 2:12Really. I didn't do anything wrong
- 2:14exactly. You might not have done anything
- 2:16wrong, you might have just been a human being that chose to love
- 2:19this person right? But when you when I say breaking
- 2:21their hearts, it could be just mean you being yourself.
- 2:25And I know that sounds super ignorant when you say it out
- 2:27loud, but you being yourself and being a flawed human being
- 2:31because we are all flawed. And it's not me trying to make
- 2:33myself seem like I'm an unflawed person.
- 2:36But be you being yourself and being a flawed human being could
- 2:40break their heart because narcissists doing their love
- 2:42vomit idealization stage. Narcissists put you on a
- 2:45pedestal because they think you're perfect.
- 2:47They don't think you have any flaws, right?
- 2:49So when you your first flaws start to show when you hurt
- 2:52their feelings for the first time.
- 2:54And yeah, when I say flaws, your flaws could be a boundary.
- 2:56Yeah, it's so ignorant to say this, but you setting a boundary
- 3:00could be viewed as a flaw to the narcissistic person in your
- 3:03life. That's how ignorant it is
- 3:05sometimes. Like you said in a boundary, you
- 3:07saying, oh, I don't like being treated like this, hey, I don't
- 3:09like this. I don't like this feeling that
- 3:12could be viewed as a flaw for you.
- 3:13And again, I acknowledge how stupid that sounds, but in the
- 3:18mind of a narcissist, it makes sense.
- 3:19It's just like you're not a perfect person.
- 3:21I thought, I thought you were perfect and you didn't do it.
- 3:24Like, yeah, you didn't present yourself as perfection.
- 3:27You presented yourself as yourself.
- 3:29And the crazy thing about them, this narcissist typically
- 3:31present themselves as perfect people, as your soul mate and
- 3:35things of that nature. They just imagine that you are.
- 3:38They don't see that. They don't see the flaws that
- 3:40you present. Like I said again, flaws are not
- 3:41every flaws make you who you are.
- 3:43Y'all. Your flaw could be your sense of
- 3:45humour. Narcissistic people view flaws
- 3:47in the light and light you know A lot of them view flaws in a
- 3:50different view, flaws in a different life.
- 3:52Narcissistic people could view your flaws as something simple,
- 3:56as you said, at a boundary. You say no.
- 3:58You rejected them the first time.
- 4:00You know, let's say they crawled in the bed and you tired and
- 4:03y'all they want to clap some cheeks and you say no, that's a
- 4:06flaw. You just rejected them.
- 4:08So now they're angry. You just broke their heart right
- 4:10there. You can break their heart by
- 4:12having a friend. You can break their heart by
- 4:14them reading the situation wrong.
- 4:16You know, you can break their heart by narcissism, by somebody
- 4:19else reaching out to you from your past that you have no
- 4:21control over, Right? That happens.
- 4:24Narcissistic people do that type of stuff.
- 4:26Y'all they just really, really do.
- 4:28So when you break their hearts, they lose their minds.
- 4:30They that's when they start to devalue you.
- 4:33That's when they started to treat you differently.
- 4:34Because they started to treat you differently because they,
- 4:37you know, they started to treat you differently because they
- 4:40view you differently. They really, really do.
- 4:46They started to treat you differently because they view
- 4:48you very differently right now. Do what you have presented
- 4:51yourself as. You presented yourself as this
- 4:54person. They viewed you as a whole new
- 4:56person. So now it's just like, OK, I see
- 4:58you as a horrible human being. I'm going to treat you.
- 5:01I'm going to treat you like a horrible human being.
- 5:03I'm going to treat you like a liar.
- 5:04If you break my heart, I'm going to treat you badly.
- 5:08That's just in the normal. That's just in a different sense
- 5:10of breaking out of a heartbreak right there.
- 5:11Right, Y'all. That's in a different sense of
- 5:13breaking their hearts in a real, a real life sense of breaking
- 5:17the narcissist heart. Like you break up with them or
- 5:19you have somebody else or you go no contact with them.
- 5:22That's when they can lose their whole goddamn minds.
- 5:25Like I'm telling you and I say got GAT for y'all hop in the
- 5:28comment section. You lose.
- 5:29You use the Lord's name in vain. I say got GAT don't get in the
- 5:37comment section. Usually I like your child, but
- 5:39you use the Lord. Yeah, but my temple hurt.
- 5:45But they they lose their minds. Seriously.
- 5:49That's why they because like you break their hearts when they're
- 5:51not ready for it. They can become super stalkers.
- 5:55They can y'all. They can start stalking you and
- 5:57lose their mind. Pop.
- 5:58Up on you. At work, pop up on you.
- 6:00At your job, pop up on you. When you leaving the house,
- 6:04follow you, stalk you. High profit investigators, they
- 6:07can lose their minds. Y'all go to your kids school,
- 6:09pick the kids up. Like if y'all Co parenting,
- 6:11they'll pick the kids up from school and not let you know.
- 6:13Just so you think the kids got kidnapped or somebody else or
- 6:15they're lost or something like that.
- 6:16They won't tell you. They'll start doing things to
- 6:18mess with you because you broke my heart.
- 6:20You call when you break a narcissist.
- 6:21It's hard. That is nearly the equivalent of
- 6:25a narcissistic injury. You have fractured their ego.
- 6:28Their ego has a big crack down the middle of it right now, like
- 6:31a big, like a growing crack in the windshield.
- 6:34Their ego has a big crack in it right now.
- 6:36You know what I mean? Yeah, the ego has a huge crack
- 6:39in it to, you know. So this is what happens in these
- 6:42spaces. They start treating you like
- 6:44their ego has a huge crack in it because now they're angry as
- 6:46hell at you. Now they're going to be just
- 6:48super like y'all. I'm just telling you, they can
- 6:51lose their damn minds. They can pop up on you.
- 6:54Threaten to unalive you. Threaten to unalive themselves.
- 6:57Take themselves out of here. Threaten to hurt the kids.
- 6:59Threaten to hurt your friends and family.
- 7:01You know, maybe they start reaching out to your friends and
- 7:02family to try to get in contact with you.
- 7:04I just want to. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
- 7:07hey. Have you have you have you here,
- 7:10brother. I just.
- 7:11Well, I just want to let. Please let me.
- 7:13I just want. Can you tell her I'm not crying
- 7:16either. I have allergies.
- 7:17Can you please tell her they just respond to me?
- 7:22Just let me know that you're safe.
- 7:24Please. I bet you I love you.
- 7:26I promise to stop cheating so much, So much.
- 7:29Not at all. Not all cheating so much, you
- 7:32know? But that's how it goes right
- 7:34there. Like, seriously, that's the
- 7:36mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
- 7:39They will, like, lose their minds when you break their
- 7:41heart. So if you break, like I'm just
- 7:43telling you, narcissist feel like they need to get vengeance
- 7:46on you as well. So if you break their hearts,
- 7:48they feel like they need to match your energy, no matter
- 7:50what they've done to you already.
- 7:51Yo, you broke up with them for a reason.
- 7:53You were done with the relationship.
- 7:55They treated you badly. You decide that you had enough.
- 7:57So you decide, OK, I'm, I'm done with this relationship.
- 8:00I'm going to pack myself up and leave, right?
- 8:02I'm going to be done. I'm going to be completely done
- 8:04with this person, right? You say that happens.
- 8:07So. But they are not done with you
- 8:09yet. So they feel like they need to
- 8:11hurt you. They don't care what they are.
- 8:13Whatever happened in a relationship, they don't care.
- 8:16Right now is right now. That's what That's all this is
- 8:19all they're worried about. They worry about right now, how
- 8:21right now you hurt me. How right now your actions are
- 8:24affecting me. That's what they're worried
- 8:26about, you know? This is what they're worried
- 8:28about. They're not worried about how
- 8:29things are going to go in the future, how you hurt me.
- 8:32How I'm feeling right now is more important than anything
- 8:35else. I need to hurt you.
- 8:36I need to match your energy. I need to cause you pain.
- 8:39I need to inflict pain upon you. That's how it goes.
- 8:43So I just want to warn y'all. I'm not.
- 8:44I'm going to say I'm not saying to stay with the narcissist if
- 8:47you don't want to stay with them.
- 8:48That's absolutely not what I'm saying.
- 8:50I'm just saying, if you break their heart, they might just
- 8:53prepare. That's why I tell people I
- 8:55posted a video earlier this week, episode 1000, about
- 8:57leaving the narcissist, how to make a plan.
- 9:00You got to make a plan, a safety plan and an escape plan.
- 9:03Because sometimes I'm just telling you, you had to switch
- 9:05up, switch up your your, your switch up, your routine, switch
- 9:11up your path, your your route to work, your route to school, your
- 9:15route to do whatever you do, like switch it up.
- 9:17Y'all because people will lose their minds.
- 9:19I'm just, I'm so sick and tired of seeing so many people lose
- 9:21their lives To be in these relationship dynamics, just
- 9:24because you decided to break up with somebody, they decided to
- 9:26lose their damn minds and hurt you or harm you in some way.
- 9:28They blow it out. It just anchors me to a point.
- 9:31It just put me in a whole different, this whole level of
- 9:34rage, because people can't handle their heart being broke
- 9:38no matter what they've done to the person.
- 9:40Like, I know I I, I we both made mistakes.
- 9:44Yes, my mistake was cheating and beating on you, and your mistake
- 9:48was forgiving me. What?
- 9:49What? That's what I'm just telling
- 9:52you. That's the mindset that some
- 9:53narcissist that people have. So if you're dealing with the
- 9:55narcissist that says something like that, just believe them
- 9:58that they're not going to get better, that this is how they're
- 10:00going to be for the entirety of your relationship dynamic, for
- 10:03the entire entirety of your relationship space, this is who
- 10:06they're going to be. Understand that.
- 10:09Because the faster you understand it, the more you
- 10:11understand it, the more you take hold of it, the more you
- 10:13understand, like this is it for you right here.
- 10:16You know, this is the relationship space.
- 10:18So protect yourself, protect your peace and just keep growing
- 10:21and keep thriving, you know, because some of them will
- 10:25absolutely seek vengeance on you because they hurt your heart.
- 10:27And like, if you forgive them, Yeah, if they seek, if they are
- 10:30seeking vengeance for your heartbreaking you, forgive them.
- 10:33They're going to try to break your heart.
- 10:35I'm telling you, they want to match your energy.
- 10:36They want to cause you pain because they feel like you
- 10:38caused them pain. So they're going to want to
- 10:40match your energy. They're going to want to bring
- 10:43you pain. They're going to want to hurt
- 10:44you. So they might they might get
- 10:46back with you, beg you to get back with them just to bring up
- 10:49with you. Yes, it sounds childish because
- 10:51it absolutely is. Anyways, y'all have to hop over
- 10:54here, make sure, make sure you subscribe to the channel, make
- 10:57sure you like and subscribe and all the other good stuff.
- 10:59Y'all but to come this is out peace.
- 11:01Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:03You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
- 11:06for being here. If you haven't already, make
- 11:08sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
- 11:10watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
- 11:12There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
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- 11:17fault on Amazon so check that out.
- 11:20Thank you. I will see you in the next
- 11:21video. Peace.