Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 70: Successful but Still Unfulfilled? Finding Joy and Purpose with Marc Cordon

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70: Successful but Still Unfulfilled? Finding Joy and Purpose with Marc Cordon · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Samantha Pruitt: hey superstars, welcome back polly here and sam, what's up?
• 0:30
  Polly Mertens: beautiful humans, yo yo guys guess what we got another special guest mark in the house manila magic mark is what I refer to him isn't there a movie called Magic Mike?
• 0:44
  Marc Cordon: Oh no, that's.
• 0:45
  Polly Mertens: Magic Mike yeah, yeah, it's a play on it.
• 0:47
  Polly Mertens: It's a play on it.
• 0:48
  Polly Mertens: But so to introduce my dear friend who is joining us on the conversation in the call.
• 0:55
  Polly Mertens: So you know, I don't have a whole scripty thing laid out, I just want to say from my heart so Mark and I have known each other.
• 1:02
  Polly Mertens: Mark, it's maybe what been five weeks, Like I think that's all it's been.
• 1:05
  Polly Mertens: But I feel like you know how, like you meet people and you're like, okay, like we've known each other way longer, Five weeks feels like five years or 15 years or something like that kind of thing.
• 1:16
  Polly Mertens: So in a prior life you probably have yeah.
• 1:18
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, We've rolled.
• 1:19
  Marc Cordon: We've rolled in the same soul circles, if you will.
• 1:22
  Polly Mertens: The energy is just like okay, this is easy.
• 1:25
  Polly Mertens: Whatever you are up to, let's play.
• 1:27
  Polly Mertens: You know like it's just like that, so I will not.
• 1:30
  Polly Mertens: I will allow him to share his story with us, so we'll get to know him.
• 1:37
  Polly Mertens: But spoiler alert joy is in his bio for sure.
• 1:41
  Polly Mertens: And and another spoiler, we're just going to say the word first off the bat roller derby, one of my favorite combo words roller derby in the same sentence.
• 1:50
  Polly Mertens: So stay tuned, stay tuned.
• 1:53
  Marc Cordon: I love that foreshadowing.
• 1:55
  Marc Cordon: It's great to be here.
• 1:57
  Samantha Pruitt: What's up, Mark and I just met you.
• 1:59
  Marc Cordon: What's up, Sam?
• 1:59
  Marc Cordon: I'm already in love, let's go.
• 2:01
  Marc Cordon: I feel like you, coach Sam.
• 2:03
  Marc Cordon: We may have rolled in similar soul circles as well.
• 2:06
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, we did, cause there's this like familiarity with you too, even though I have black glasses and you have like white glasses on.
• 2:17
  Samantha Pruitt: We didn't send you the memo.
• 2:19
  Samantha Pruitt: We apologize.
• 2:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Next time we need to correct that.
• 2:21
  Samantha Pruitt: I love that how there's already a next time always the next time we're gonna have skates on and white glasses exactly all right, you're ready to tell us who the hell are you anyway?
• 2:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh my goodness, yeah, we don't have two hours, but I'm sure you have a condensed version because you've got a beautiful story leading us up to today.
• 2:45
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, so in 1976, a man met a woman.
• 2:49
  Marc Cordon: No, I'm not going to go that far back.
• 2:51
  Marc Cordon: My parents did come from the Philippines.
• 2:55
  Marc Cordon: They both left their families in the late 70s.
• 3:00
  Marc Cordon: They had never met each other before, or if they had, it had been in like the same hospital.
• 3:05
  Marc Cordon: They didn't really know each other.
• 3:06
  Marc Cordon: Dad was in LA like a playboy, he was.
• 3:11
  Marc Cordon: Mom was in Minnesota and then they like met at a party in Dayton, ohio and they were like yo, we need to create something up in this.
• 3:23
  Marc Cordon: Anybody who's watching I don't know if you actually have a video version, but it was me they made me, it was magic.
• 3:34
  Polly Mertens: It was the first night they met.
• 3:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Wait, the first night.
• 3:36
  Samantha Pruitt: They met action.
• 3:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh yeah, your genes don't mess around.
• 3:42
  Marc Cordon: They actually met and I was like delivered from the sky.
• 3:45
  Marc Cordon: I was like Lord, like that's how it went from the disco ball, right, but but no, it has a lot to say about like someone's viewpoint of like family and how going to the United States, having that immigrant story, was a way to boost their whole families up.
• 4:03
  Marc Cordon: Essentially, they had the same, and a lot of Filipinos had the same like idea of going to the, going to the states, making more money and sending it back to the Philippines.
• 4:15
  Marc Cordon: It's easier to do that than it was to try to create that at.
• 4:19
  Marc Cordon: You know, in the Philippines, you know so mom and dad actually came from a from very, very, very mom is an extra very, very, uh, uh line of poverty.
• 4:30
  Marc Cordon: You know, and you know, even before I go into there, like when I was growing up, my, my mom would make sure that my sister and I would hear stories.
• 4:39
  Marc Cordon: She told stories every single night, right and um, one of the things that I began to do is like I learned about the Philippines and I wanted to go and when I actually went there, I was so excited that this was a magical place that my mom often talked about that I didn't even see the third world countryside of things.
• 4:59
  Marc Cordon: You know, everything was magical to me.
• 5:01
  Marc Cordon: You know, and I can't help but think, like being on this podcast with y'all, everything is still kind of magical.
• 5:08
  Marc Cordon: You know what I mean.
• 5:09
  Samantha Pruitt: A hundred percent, so like yeah.
• 5:13
  Marc Cordon: So, even though it was one way, I remember the ebullience, the anticipation, the sleepless nights of going there when other people would possibly dismiss that right, and you know, that's sort of the way that I grew up Parents moving up and up the food chain to send money home.
• 5:35
  Marc Cordon: They eventually became medical doctors themselves.
• 5:41
  Marc Cordon: Right, and I, I remember going with my mom and dad, especially my dad, on rounds in the hospital.
• 5:49
  Marc Cordon: Um, I'd want to go because the third floor, like doctor's lounge, had the best fucking cookie, so like I would go with them.
• 5:57
  Marc Cordon: But in order to go with dad I needed to stop by his patients and the nurses stations.
• 6:02
  Marc Cordon: And I remember, um, the nurses would always be like, are you going to be just like your dad?
• 6:08
  Marc Cordon: And I was, like I guess I'm too young to like make that decision right now.
• 6:16
  Marc Cordon: I kind of want to be like Michael Jackson versus my dad.
• 6:27
  Marc Cordon: My dad, but that's, you know, that started a very cool story arc of where I was trying to find things that were making my family happy and I was trying to find things that made me happy, and oftentimes it'd be this one way or another.
• 6:36
  Marc Cordon: You know, and that's where the I don't know if you talked about the band thing yet.
• 6:40
  Marc Cordon: But that's where the band thing came up.
• 6:42
  Marc Cordon: I was a neuroscience major.
• 6:44
  Marc Cordon: I was cranking it out I was doing pretty well a public health master's degree.
• 6:49
  Marc Cordon: So I was doing all the things that I thought I was supposed to do, like that little mark was supposed to fulfill, like that son of immigrant parents was supposed to take the baton Right, and I hated, I hated it.
• 7:04
  Marc Cordon: I hated doing everything through the formulaic way and I, instead I pursued the, the idea of being Michael Jackson, formed a band.
• 7:16
  Marc Cordon: We were all Filipino, so we went and said that, like we are the best Filipino band in the South.
• 7:23
  Marc Cordon: You know, we didn't land.
• 7:25
  Marc Cordon: I mean we didn't lie, because we're the only Filipino band in the South.
• 7:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Yo crazy marketing right, wait, what was the name of this band and where were you located?
• 7:35
  Marc Cordon: Our band was called Tito Felix, right, and we were located between Florida and Georgia.
• 7:41
  Marc Cordon: Okay, you know, we would come together and we were located, uh, between Florida and Georgia.
• 7:43
  Marc Cordon: Okay, you know, we would come together and we would practice, and the thing after that was, we started getting booked.
• 7:51
  Samantha Pruitt: You were the best.
• 7:52
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, people were like hey, dude, like we heard, you're the best band in the South, like when you come to New York and we're just like.
• 7:59
  Marc Cordon: Oh shit.
• 7:59
  Marc Cordon: But also, like, um, in terms of putting yourself out there, and even though it was like a band type of thing, I learned so much about showing up fully, putting your whole self out.
• 8:13
  Marc Cordon: I learned a lot about professionalism too, because there's some places where you can go unprofessional in in that place, but in order to be the best band ever uh, philippine in the south I needed to show up and take care of myself, you know.
• 8:26
  Marc Cordon: But there was one point y'all that when I was um, when, when I was in the band, I remembered like, okay, this is everything you said you wanted to be.
• 8:40
  Marc Cordon: When you were a kid, you became the michael jackson.
• 8:42
  Marc Cordon: Uh, you're, you're performing in california and texas and you know you're dc.
• 8:49
  Marc Cordon: Why am I still unhappy?
• 8:52
  Samantha Pruitt: yes, right, why?
• 8:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Why you're living the dream.
• 8:56
  Samantha Pruitt: Dude, you're living the dream ostensibly right.
• 8:59
  Marc Cordon: But when I was doing my my parents stuff, I was asking like there's got to be more to life than this doing this inspecting hospitals thing.
• 9:09
  Marc Cordon: And then when I was in the band, I remember a couple nights being like there's got to be more to, like living on somebody's couch for a little bit or smoking with Hoobastank behind the stage.
• 9:23
  Marc Cordon: You know Like there's got to be more to life than that and I think that that's why I'm here to talk with y'all today or share my story, because I'm sure, sam, I'm sure Polly, that there may be times when you've asked yourself there's got to be more to life than this and hopefully, if you don't edit this part out in this, and hopefully if you don't edit this part out, the listener might be saying, oh, I totally have gone through like there's gotta be more to life than this moment.
• 9:51
  Marc Cordon: I know that this is your podcast but, like, in getting to know you, is there like a story that you can relate to in terms of asking that?
• 9:59
  Samantha Pruitt: there's gotta be a question dude.
• 10:00
  Samantha Pruitt: That's a daily question, boom.
• 10:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, I think that's a daily.
• 10:04
  Polly Mertens: Yeah.
• 10:05
  Polly Mertens: So, I have to scream this almost.
• 10:08
  Polly Mertens: So it's like, and I haven't had this thought, or maybe I have and I just haven't remembered it.
• 10:13
  Polly Mertens: But as you were saying, there has to be more to life than this.
• 10:15
  Polly Mertens: My mind was going.
• 10:17
  Polly Mertens: What your soul was saying is there's more to you than this.
• 10:22
  Marc Cordon: Oh, do tell.
• 10:24
  Polly Mertens: Right.
• 10:24
  Polly Mertens: So you're like, oh, there's got to be more to life, got to be more to life and your soul as if it's outside yeah, like, hey, there's more to you, like there's more for you to express, there's more for you to bring to the world, more something that you're here to express.
• 10:38
  Polly Mertens: And this manifestation, while you thought it, maybe from your small mind, your you know baby mark mind, or something like that this, this, this isn't it.
• 10:48
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, you did all this, but now there's something in the background that's really wanting to express.
• 10:53
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't know, that's just what I was getting, as you were saying that the thing is not outside of you, right, it's inside of you.
• 10:59
  Samantha Pruitt: So it's not like, hey, there's more to life.
• 11:00
  Samantha Pruitt: When is the pizza getting delivered?
• 11:02
  Samantha Pruitt: It's waiting, still waiting.
• 11:06
  Marc Cordon: You know when I wait for pizza to no one's delivering that You've got to build that thing yourself.
• 11:10
  Marc Cordon: You know, when I wait for pizza to, I swing like crazy on my swivel seat Because you're waiting for it to be delivered.
• 11:19
  Marc Cordon: Well, coach, sam, you just said Life doesn't get delivered.
• 11:23
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, you're creating it.
• 11:29
  Marc Cordon: You're making it.
• 11:30
  Marc Cordon: You said, coach Sam, that you you're saying that question every single day, you're generating it every, every single day.
• 11:33
  Samantha Pruitt: What does that mean To me?
• 11:33
  Samantha Pruitt: It's growth, it's evolution.
• 11:35
  Samantha Pruitt: Evolution is an opportunity every minute.
• 11:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Right now, I'm totally evolving in the middle of this conversation with two of the most beautiful humans on the planet.
• 11:42
  Polly Mertens: What is my life of this conversation with two of the most?
• 11:45
  Samantha Pruitt: beautiful humans on the planet.
• 11:46
  Samantha Pruitt: What is my life?
• 11:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Hello, but lucky me, right.
• 11:50
  Samantha Pruitt: But like that's a choice, consciously we make the choice to show up to these spaces, to be in the game a, to be awake and aware, and then show the hell up.
• 11:57
  Samantha Pruitt: Like you answered the calling, the whisper, you didn't go.
• 12:00
  Marc Cordon: Hey, can't answer that because my parents are calling, or my society is calling, or I'm needed by these patients or whatever right like all the stories we tell ourselves about what other people want yeah, yeah, it reminds me of I can't remember who said this, but, um, in terms of finding that voice, or or finding that, that's a call to something even more right.
• 12:24
  Marc Cordon: I remember someone went and told me, like okay, it's okay, recognize all the voices that are coming at you right now.
• 12:34
  Marc Cordon: Right, recognize those voices, and which one is yours?
• 12:40
  Polly Mertens: Mm-hmm.
• 12:41
  Samantha Pruitt: Mm-hmm.
• 12:42
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, yeah, yeah, no-transcript.
• 13:05
  Samantha Pruitt: Polly's going to call me up and go, oh damn girl.
• 13:09
  Polly Mertens: So I think what happens is if you guys are like me I have a very I have there's usually one voice and it sounds like mine right In my head.
• 13:18
  Polly Mertens: Those are my thoughts.
• 13:19
  Polly Mertens: They're not me, they're my thoughts.
• 13:21
  Polly Mertens: But because they sound like my voice, I sometimes get it.
• 13:24
  Polly Mertens: I go oh, that's me, you know.
• 13:26
  Polly Mertens: And then I have to remember no, those are just thoughts, right, you know, and it's.
• 13:30
  Polly Mertens: It has a different like.
• 13:33
  Polly Mertens: I can find the distinction if I pay attention to you, know the difference between the frenetic fear you know like it's a different frequency.
• 13:42
  Marc Cordon: Right of like, sam's gonna say something I love how you guys can read each other's body movements.
• 13:48
  Marc Cordon: I call it the evil twin.
• 13:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm an evil twin.
• 13:52
  Samantha Pruitt: She sits on my shoulder every now and then.
• 13:54
  Samantha Pruitt: You wouldn't believe the crazy shit she says yeah, so I try not to listen to her and most of the time I go and she flies across the wall or whatever.
• 14:01
  Samantha Pruitt: But so in your story, back to Mark, because you're the guest, our audience has heard a lot of our shenanigans.
• 14:07
  Samantha Pruitt: Am I, being the honorary guest, I can't just be a part of this.
• 14:10
  Samantha Pruitt: We should have got you a tiara, totally.
• 14:14
  Polly Mertens: We can have that.
• 14:14
  Polly Mertens: We can have one of those medals.
• 14:15
  Polly Mertens: We'll add that later.
• 14:16
  Samantha Pruitt: You can have any medal you want.
• 14:18
  Samantha Pruitt: I have a rainbow to choose from.
• 14:19
  Samantha Pruitt: I want the green one.
• 14:25
  Samantha Pruitt: I want that green one, I'm buying it.
• 14:26
  Samantha Pruitt: Coming your way On this journey, on this path of yours.
• 14:27
  Samantha Pruitt: When you decided to answer this calling, if you will, to go towards what your soul and your purpose were saying, you went where.
• 14:36
  Samantha Pruitt: What did you do?
• 14:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Put down the guitar I don't know what instrument you play Like what happened?
• 14:41
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, okay, I met a person name is dr cory keys, okay, uh, atlanta, georgia, emory university and and he taught, uh, he taught a course that I always thought was the corniest course and it was the sociology of happiness.
• 15:01
  Marc Cordon: Right, right, and I'm like I'm in social justice.
• 15:06
  Marc Cordon: This is bullshit.
• 15:07
  Marc Cordon: Everybody needs to be mad Like what the hell would this course do?
• 15:12
  Samantha Pruitt: Happiness is a luxury.
• 15:13
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, oh totally it's, it's a luxury, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 15:17
  Marc Cordon: It's not realistic.
• 15:19
  Marc Cordon: Right, it's Pollyanna.
• 15:21
  Marc Cordon: And so I stayed.
• 15:23
  Marc Cordon: I was working at university at the time and I was working in the in the multicultural, intercultural affairs office Right, I was there a little bit later than usual and I looked at the, the syllabus to this course, and, having a, having a neuroscience background, I was like yo, that's a dope study, that's pretty cool.
• 15:46
  Marc Cordon: And so, as a result of seeing some of the things that Corey Keyes went and said, he said that you can follow your dreams like a rock star and feel good in the moment, and you can also go long-term happiness and feel like you're in purpose, like the things can also go long-term happiness and feel like you're in purpose, like the things, like the master's degrees were right, and so there was this intersection and the.
• 16:09
  Marc Cordon: The whole time I need, I was thinking it's either this, my own happiness in the now being a rock star, blah, blah, blah, blah, pretending to be the best filipino you know.
• 16:20
  Marc Cordon: And then there's this other side in, in which you are part of a system that is greater than you, and there's two people who left their families and for 30 years they wrote letters home.
• 16:34
  Marc Cordon: They couldn't text, they like wrote freaking letters, you know, and like, suddenly those two things came together.
• 16:44
  Marc Cordon: I can live in a way where I feel fulfilled and can engage in projects that are incredible, right, feel that purpose.
• 16:57
  Marc Cordon: But I can also, in engaging in these projects, get lit up and are happy in the now.
• 17:02
  Marc Cordon: In these projects, get lit up and are happy in the now, like it was actually called hedonistic happiness, which is like, feel the, you know, the taste of a grape.
• 17:11
  Marc Cordon: It's very mindful, right, but being grounded in the now and being happy, but also having these projects that just kick ass and you can't wait to talk about, you know.
• 17:21
  Marc Cordon: So it's really getting two of those things together.
• 17:26
  Marc Cordon: And the very first thing after that that started to fall off was I was in a doctoral program, was I don't find much happiness in this.
• 17:37
  Marc Cordon: Sure, it's going to be great, great to be called Dr Mark Cordon.
• 17:40
  Marc Cordon: But like, how much of this do I got to do?
• 17:43
  Marc Cordon: Like, how much more faking it until I make it Do I have to do?
• 17:46
  Marc Cordon: I can be happy right now.
• 17:48
  Marc Cordon: I just have to declare it and I have to be very clear about it as well Like, have you guys ever felt anything like that, where it's like it feels good and it feels like you're living good at the same time.
• 18:01
  Polly Mertens: Most definitely.
• 18:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Ideally, every day, ideally, yeah yeah.
• 18:05
  Samantha Pruitt: And there are some things that you find that magic in, and if you can figure out how to feed that, right, you get a little taste of it, and then how to feed it and move towards it rather than move away from it, and all that kind of stuff.
• 18:17
  Polly Mertens: Completely.
• 18:17
  Polly Mertens: So, Mark, I don't know if you've listened to any of our recent episodes, but Sam has been on a journey of Buddhism and not known it until most recently, so she's like a practicing Buddhist when you were speaking about that.
• 18:30
  Samantha Pruitt: I was thinking of Buddha, because people are like oh, Buddhism, you all just chill out and you're mindful, but you're lazy and you don't do anything.
• 18:37
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't have any like drive or ambition.
• 18:39
  Samantha Pruitt: Buddha was incredibly powerful and driven and motivated and accomplished amazing things, right as did most of the predecessors.
• 18:48
  Samantha Pruitt: Afterwards I was still teaching the work in the world like.
• 18:51
  Samantha Pruitt: So what?
• 18:53
  Samantha Pruitt: I was sitting on yoga pillows meditating all day, getting shit not well, I was gonna say I don't know, I just brought that up.
• 18:59
  Polly Mertens: I don't know if this quote or this phrase is buddhism or I heard it from like a japanese lineage.
• 19:06
  Polly Mertens: If you, you will, which isn't necessarily Buddhism, but it was.
• 19:08
  Polly Mertens: Happiness is not to be found in you know, from your work it's found.
• 19:15
  Polly Mertens: You bring it to your work, right, you know?
• 19:17
  Polly Mertens: So, like people are like, oh, you've got to go to work and you're supposed to give you all this joy, and like give me like a relationship, you go to this relationship, like you got to give me all this stuff and instead you flip that and I think Buddhism and people that that I know that like you live joyfully is it's it's inside of you that you bring out, like it's not.
• 19:37
  Polly Mertens: You know this is all conditional, like all this, whether it's this or I get that, or I practice, practice this or I'm abandoned.
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: You know I do this band or whatever Super conditional, and it's like I think the practice of Buddhism is happy without any.
• 19:52
  Polly Mertens: You know, I mean, look at these people that have been behind bars or ostracized from their country for the rest of their life, you know, and still joyful.
• 20:01
  Polly Mertens: And that's the walking practice of joy is found inside of you when you bring it to the world.
• 20:07
  Polly Mertens: It's not for the world to make you joyful or not.
• 20:10
  Marc Cordon: Oh, this is so good, so good.
• 20:12
  Samantha Pruitt: Are you guys?
• 20:13
  Marc Cordon: are you guys liking this conversation so far?
• 20:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, we're good.
• 20:17
  Marc Cordon: All right.
• 20:17
  Marc Cordon: So anyone listening, hit that subscribe button.
• 20:22
  Polly Mertens: By the way, mark is a professional podcaster, so he's reminding us I got to, I got to ask Mark a question.
• 20:30
  Samantha Pruitt: So one of the things I've heard you say a couple of times, not in this convo but um in the space is that personal growth is not enough.
• 20:39
  Samantha Pruitt: What does that mean?
• 20:41
  Marc Cordon: What do you mean it's not I not.
• 20:42
  Marc Cordon: I mean, uh, we can essentially take all the mind valley classes if we want to do that.
• 20:48
  Marc Cordon: You know, busy, busy, busy busy right you know, and there's nothing wrong with the mind valley stuff, you know, um, it's it.
• 20:55
  Marc Cordon: You know, it's one thing to to follow the uh, you know, uh, the credo that, uh, all men not the credo to go against the idea of all men lead lives of quiet desperation.
• 21:10
  Marc Cordon: Right, there's that, there is.
• 21:12
  Marc Cordon: You know, let me go and become a 14th level, this, and achieve theta waves, that, and to do my gratitude journaling.
• 21:20
  Marc Cordon: Every single day I go to the top of the mountain, like you were talking about, but if I don't fucking come down from that mountain and share it, you're just, you're wasting it, dude, you're just, you're totally missing the mark.
• 21:34
  Marc Cordon: This is a human experience and unfortunately, the woo-woo will come out right here.
• 21:40
  Marc Cordon: You are also an infinite being going through.
• 21:43
  Marc Cordon: Come out right here.
• 21:46
  Marc Cordon: You are also an infinite being going through, you know, and that kind of experience, that is a me thing that I subscribe to and it's not something that I'd put on anybody else.
• 21:51
  Marc Cordon: To go ahead and learn, you know.
• 21:54
  Polly Mertens: Welcome here.
• 21:55
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, yeah.
• 21:56
  Marc Cordon: But there's been multiple moments when I have said I am completely lonely and I need help and something has shown up.
• 22:06
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly, exactly.
• 22:08
  Samantha Pruitt: And if you're just chasing personal growth, you know reading or courses or groups or whatever, and not and personal, I assume they mean like their own development.
• 22:19
  Samantha Pruitt: How much of the growth is being lost, or growth opportunity is being lost, because there's no connection to others or to the fact they're part of a bigger universe energetically?
• 22:30
  Marc Cordon: You're right, there is no connection, right, and you have these folks who are completely blissed out not connecting to other people.
• 22:37
  Marc Cordon: For me, just me, I call that and consider that bypassing.
• 22:42
  Samantha Pruitt: Hmm, interesting, term Okay.
• 22:46
  Marc Cordon: I think, or I heard Dr Tal Ben-Shahar.
• 22:51
  Marc Cordon: He had like the biggest course in Harvard history.
• 22:56
  Marc Cordon: He went and said oh, the course was on happiness.
• 23:00
  Marc Cordon: He came out and said yo, if you are constantly happy, number one, you are either dead, number two, you're a psychopath.
• 23:13
  Polly Mertens: You know.
• 23:13
  Marc Cordon: So if you're taking things, these courses, to always be blissed out.
• 23:17
  Marc Cordon: You're missing the ride.
• 23:18
  Marc Cordon: You're missing the ride.
• 23:25
  Samantha Pruitt: And in.
• 23:25
  Samantha Pruitt: Buddhism suffering's at the core of everything, and that means different things for different people, but like that's where all the growth is, so why would you want to avoid it?
• 23:30
  Samantha Pruitt: You know?
• 23:32
  Samantha Pruitt: completely, I mean I'm an ultra distance athlete, ultra runner and iron woman and all that kind of stuff, so like suffering is part of the game, I say sign me the hell up for that.
• 23:42
  Samantha Pruitt: I go willingly looking for it.
• 23:44
  Samantha Pruitt: When my life gets really comfortable I go oh, I should go do some epic shit.
• 23:48
  Samantha Pruitt: That's going to be incredibly uncomfortable and painful and explorative and maybe dangerous and sort of absurd.
• 23:56
  Marc Cordon: Sign me up, yeah, and what's the payoff at the end of those things when you go and sign yourself up?
• 24:03
  Marc Cordon: You know you're going to suffer at some point.
• 24:05
  Marc Cordon: What's the payoff at the end of those things when you go and sign yourself up?
• 24:06
  Marc Cordon: You know you're going to suffer at some point.
• 24:07
  Samantha Pruitt: What's the payoff?
• 24:08
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, it's like the work that you guys are doing with Landmark.
• 24:10
  Samantha Pruitt: The payoff is that you learn so much about yourself and the internal space that your body is a meat bag or a bone, skin bag or whatever, so you learn what's going on inside that.
• 24:24
  Samantha Pruitt: But then you learn so much more about the world because you're willing to be open to that, so, like it really just opens you up, sheds all the baggage and BS and drama that the external world has laid upon you or you've laid upon yourself You're carrying around, you know like a backpack full of rocks and.
• 24:42
  Polly Mertens: I would add, we've talked about how it gives you more connection around.
• 24:43
  Polly Mertens: You know, got it full of rocks.
• 24:44
  Polly Mertens: And I would add, we've talked about how it gives you more connection with you too.
• 24:48
  Polly Mertens: Right, like like you get you know, like to that point we were talking about earlier.
• 24:52
  Polly Mertens: Is like that that quiet whisper or whatever that's like?
• 24:55
  Polly Mertens: Is this all there is?
• 24:56
  Polly Mertens: right, like is that all you got like you know you're made for more, and not like I'm made for more like a fucking tagline, but like you just feel like you want to be up to something.
• 25:07
  Polly Mertens: Like you know, either whether it's like I want to be a better mom, or I want to be great to my kids, or, man, I want to volunteer locally or I want to, you know, sing in opera or whatever, like, whatever your thing feels like that just feels like a stirring, like like Sam and I are like sam and I were like if we were with you we'd be like go, go, you're doing that.
• 25:28
  Polly Mertens: That you know like push from the nest just yeah, like get the fuck out there and figure out what you're made of.
• 25:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah right, if you're trying to get up to stuff in life, it requires some mental and emotional strength yeah, yeah.
• 25:42
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, I have a question for both of you?
• 25:44
  Polly Mertens: Oh no, no, no, no, Wait, this is our podcast.
• 25:47
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 25:48
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 25:48
  Polly Mertens: No, please.
• 25:49
  Samantha Pruitt: Like oh hell yeah, standing down.
• 25:52
  Samantha Pruitt: We put some coaches in a call together and it's like watch the hell out.
• 25:56
  Marc Cordon: Coach.
• 25:57
  Samantha Pruitt: Sam coach, paul, we're so funny.
• 25:58
  Samantha Pruitt: No, no, all right.
• 26:00
  Marc Cordon: Can we have growth?
• 26:01
  Marc Cordon: Can we have growth without suffering or pain?
• 26:06
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, we're going to have different ideas about that.
• 26:08
  Polly Mertens: I'm 100 fucking.
• 26:09
  Polly Mertens: Yes, we can have growth, absolutely.
• 26:12
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm a no, I'm a no for that Okay.
• 26:15
  Polly Mertens: That's a no for me, yeah Well this is Probably first and second.
• 26:18
  Polly Mertens: I'm an expert in suffering, and not that I haven't been through some pain and some like oh damn, why did I do that to myself again, whether it's a relationship whatever, but like I think some of the most beautiful growth I two of the areas that I love having growth in is on on account of someone else, so I grow when other people are growing like I don't miss their lessons.
• 26:42
  Polly Mertens: That that's like.
• 26:43
  Polly Mertens: So I'm like damn, I need to learn from what.
• 26:44
  Polly Mertens: That.
• 26:44
  Polly Mertens: That's like.
• 26:44
  Polly Mertens: So I'm like damn, I need to learn from what that?
• 26:46
  Polly Mertens: That whole life, you know what?
• 26:48
  Polly Mertens: That life experience, that's one that's like, oh man, so you don't, I don't have to suffer, I just have to go, like pay attention.
• 26:53
  Polly Mertens: And the second is oftentimes, you know, like one of my mentors says, like our wellbeing is like our cork bobbing on the surface Right, and then we, we push our cork down, like we do things to it so it's actually letting go.
• 27:07
  Polly Mertens: Like you know, sometimes you have to have this suffering.
• 27:09
  Polly Mertens: It's like no, and like you can be up here.
• 27:11
  Polly Mertens: So I subscribe to that model and I agree with sam too, like you can have rigorous growth and learn some things and stuff.
• 27:18
  Polly Mertens: But I also feel like I can sometimes just shift a thought, like just like disappear, like I'll just like pull it from behind.
• 27:26
  Polly Mertens: I'll be like, oh shit, that's been back there, like that's been running the show and it doesn't have to be painful, it just has to be willing got it like a willingness.
• 27:33
  Samantha Pruitt: So but so it's letting go mark yeah say what you didn't answer the question you didn't either mark yeah, I did.
• 27:39
  Samantha Pruitt: I said oh no, you have to suffer oh okay of suffering, suffer fast, and I do believe that there's.
• 27:46
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't obviously suffer every day and walk around suffering, but I, through my life experience, have also suffered a lot in all humans hearts, part of the human condition, um, and we're people that have suffered, you know, physical, mental, emotional yeah yeah, and I believe that the growth that lies in that is priceless and too many people turn away from it, try and avoid it, numb it, paralyze it, ignore it and all of that kind of stuff.
• 28:18
  Samantha Pruitt: So my philosophy is just like let that uncork that shit and let's just do it, let's just do it.
• 28:23
  Samantha Pruitt: And if you need to go through it with other people or whatever it is that you need to have that be released from your physical body so you don't end up with disease.
• 28:32
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm about that.
• 28:33
  Samantha Pruitt: Is that the?
• 28:35
  Marc Cordon: same thing for both of you?
• 28:36
  Marc Cordon: I will, I will, I promise.
• 28:37
  Marc Cordon: But is that the same thing for either or both of you?
• 28:42
  Marc Cordon: That surrendering, like the act of surrendering is a big part of it, like when you're talking about the bouncing of the cork right, wouldn't be like if you're releasing from that, wouldn't that be?
• 28:55
  Marc Cordon: It feels like surrendering.
• 28:57
  Polly Mertens: Well, it's like stop pushing, stop doing what you're doing to yourself, right?
• 29:01
  Marc Cordon: Controlling.
• 29:02
  Polly Mertens: You know.
• 29:02
  Polly Mertens: So some of that could be.
• 29:03
  Polly Mertens: You know, like, let's say, it's an old belief, right, like a childhood belief or something, and it just like I'm not good enough.
• 29:08
  Polly Mertens: You know, you keep your cork under the water, you keep.
• 29:11
  Polly Mertens: You know you keep doing that or that habit Like, oh, I procrastinate, or whatever.
• 29:26
  Marc Cordon: So like, yeah, just surrender to well-being, you could say, but it still can be active.
• 29:28
  Marc Cordon: Got it, got it.
• 29:29
  Marc Cordon: I've learned that I'm not going to be able to squirm out of this one.
• 29:31
  Marc Cordon: How many questions have I been asking?
• 29:32
  Marc Cordon: Okay, so what was the question?
• 29:33
  Samantha Pruitt: again, the question for you, mark are you ready.
• 29:36
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, the password is Do you believe that, in order to fully become, evolve whatever it is, however, you perceive this growth journey that you're on as an individual that suffering and pain are required, or is there a different path for you?
• 29:55
  Marc Cordon: I would say yes and no to that one.
• 29:56
  Marc Cordon: Right.
• 29:57
  Marc Cordon: When it comes to suffering and pain, when we can't get over it, what do we have?
• 30:03
  Marc Cordon: We have PTSD.
• 30:05
  Marc Cordon: We can't get over suffering and pain and we can't function as well.
• 30:09
  Marc Cordon: Right.
• 30:09
  Marc Cordon: What's on the other?
• 30:11
  Marc Cordon: What's on the other side of that?
• 30:12
  Marc Cordon: We can also have function and pain and grow from it.
• 30:16
  Marc Cordon: It's post-traumatic growth, it's the, you know, that's the piece that a lot of people focus on, the main thing and where and I do believe in both of those post-traumatic growth and then, like trauma that stops you and it's in your tracks, right.
• 30:31
  Marc Cordon: But then on the other side, well, let's talk about like, uh, uh, amazing experiences, ecstatic experiences.
• 30:40
  Marc Cordon: Right, there are those ecstatic experiences that you've gotten to the top of that mountain, you finished that race, you know you had done the landmark TMLP year one, right?
• 30:51
  Marc Cordon: Um, and as a result of experiencing that, you, you will grow, just being like, oh my God, I'm going to duplicate, I'm going to.
• 31:00
  Marc Cordon: It's not going to happen everywhere, but I'm going to duplicate.
• 31:01
  Marc Cordon: It's not going to happen everywhere, but I'm going to duplicate that at different times in my life running a marathon, those sorts of things.
• 31:08
  Marc Cordon: Yet, yet there is another camp.
• 31:12
  Marc Cordon: Wait for it.
• 31:13
  Marc Cordon: There is another camp, and I don't think this has been totally talked about a lot, so bring these people onto your show.
• 31:19
  Marc Cordon: There's a camp that goes and says you can have a positive experience, and is it as a result of that positive experience?
• 31:28
  Marc Cordon: You crash and burn right?
• 31:31
  Marc Cordon: Look at both of them.
• 31:33
  Marc Cordon: If you see this video, they both went like this um well, I've seen that crashing and burning.
• 31:40
  Samantha Pruitt: That's olympians, you know, like olympia, you know they go to olympians kind of thing like yeah, well, and even um I'll just use races as an example, since you use that as an example also like there's a lot of people that will have a major come down from a big event.
• 31:55
  Samantha Pruitt: I just have a friend that just did a 300 mile run, trail run through arizona, um, and I've done some crazy stuff like that Not that one, but whatever and then afterwards there is this coming down.
• 32:09
  Samantha Pruitt: If you will, that can feel a little bit like depression, but same for like building a business, so business owners.
• 32:15
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, it's like, what do I do?
• 32:16
  Samantha Pruitt: now.
• 32:16
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, exactly.
• 32:18
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, whether it was successful or not doesn't matter.
• 32:20
  Samantha Pruitt: When it's over, there's a coming down.
• 32:23
  Marc Cordon: Yeah.
• 32:23
  Samantha Pruitt: Is that, but it depends how you perceive that coming down experience, because to me that's a recovery phase.
• 32:31
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, and I think that's something that happens quite a bit Right, and, like your, your body is used to putting so much stress on it that when you stop, there's like OK, what do I do now?
• 32:43
  Polly Mertens: Or your brain or your brain.
• 32:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, or your brain, yeah, being in school.
• 33:06
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, this is more along the lines of oh my God, I just won an Emmy Award.
• 33:07
  Marc Cordon: What if they think that?
• 33:08
  Marc Cordon: What if they don't know who I truly am Like?
• 33:09
  Marc Cordon: And then they give up on trying to go after the Oscar or the Emmy Award or whatever.
• 33:11
  Marc Cordon: Tina Fey in her book Bossy Pants talks about this because when she you guys, she's awesome.
• 33:12
  Marc Cordon: Yeah.
• 33:13
  Marc Cordon: So she was writing about once she started to like gain some acclaim from people.
• 33:15
  Marc Cordon: She started she was scared shitless about like what if I'm a fake?
• 33:17
  Marc Cordon: What if they find out I'm not this talented?
• 33:21
  Marc Cordon: And that's more along the lines of this thing called post-success syndrome.
• 33:26
  Marc Cordon: Something happens and then they end up like regressing as a result of it.
• 33:32
  Marc Cordon: This is my thought on it.
• 33:33
  Marc Cordon: Okay, we can go through whatever we go through, label it, don't label it.
• 33:39
  Marc Cordon: But if we can ask at some point, what was the lesson here?
• 33:43
  Marc Cordon: That's where you can extrapolate any moment good, bad, whatever, neutral and we can find the value in that and make meaning in that and then continue our journey right?
• 33:55
  Marc Cordon: I think the worst thing that this is a me thing that I can do is flub my toe or have something great happen and I don't reflect on what I learned from it and it keeps happening and keeps happening, and keeps happening.
• 34:08
  Marc Cordon: So that's just my thought on that.
• 34:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Good or bad?
• 34:12
  Marc Cordon: good or bad?
• 34:12
  Samantha Pruitt: positive or negative?
• 34:13
  Marc Cordon: positive or negative?
• 34:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly.
• 34:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Well, that sounds like growth.
• 34:18
  Marc Cordon: Yeah.
• 34:19
  Samantha Pruitt: But not personal growth.
• 34:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm just kidding, it sounds like growth.
• 34:24
  Samantha Pruitt: So it's taking a time to reflect on.
• 34:27
  Samantha Pruitt: I say not just reflect, be freaking, awake and aware.
• 34:32
  Marc Cordon: Yes.
• 34:33
  Samantha Pruitt: And only if your eyes are open and you are actually not a zombie, because currently there's a zombie apocalypse.
• 34:38
  Samantha Pruitt: If you look around at society, wherever you are grocery store, shopping, whatever they're like, all up in this world that doesn't really exist, that they think is the real world in their phone or whatever they're doing, or everybody has earbuds in.
• 34:50
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, it's a zombie apocalypse, right?
• 34:53
  Samantha Pruitt: So first it's wake up, right, and then, after you're awake and your eyes are open, what you're saying is pay attention whatever's transpiring and learn something from that.
• 35:05
  Marc Cordon: That's yes, the definition of growth, I guess it's also something you guys talk about in your podcast a lot too, so yeah, you know what else we like.
• 35:15
  Polly Mertens: I was just going to say I was like well, the other one I was going to say is creativity, and one of the things I recognize and appreciate in your brand is cordon creative, and so I would love to hear you know, I hear the musician side.
• 35:30
  Polly Mertens: You're obviously podcasters, so you're like putting the word out and, you know, interviewing people what's your definition of creativity, or how do you what, what, what, what is creativity to you?
• 35:40
  Polly Mertens: However, you want to answer that.
• 35:41
  Marc Cordon: I think?
• 35:42
  Marc Cordon: Well, I think there's.
• 35:43
  Marc Cordon: There's two things, because there's two questions I heard in there, right?
• 35:47
  Marc Cordon: The first question being what is creativity?
• 35:52
  Marc Cordon: Right?
• 35:52
  Marc Cordon: My definition would be creativity is something that's generated from being curious.
• 36:01
  Marc Cordon: Sometimes things are not connected right and then being curious, there suddenly is this connection right.
• 36:10
  Marc Cordon: So, yeah, and isn't that the best part of creativity?
• 36:16
  Marc Cordon: But then the part after that, whether you are the creator or the person experiencing what a person created, I would say that great creativity has the power to move Either myself.
• 36:32
  Samantha Pruitt: That's the piece that fuels action basically.
• 36:34
  Marc Cordon: I would say that Okay.
• 36:36
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, okay, what do you guys think your creativity is?
• 36:39
  Marc Cordon: Because I consider both of you creatives.
• 36:41
  Marc Cordon: Oh, definitely, actually, before I go there, everyone, exactly everyone, is creative.
• 36:48
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, and there's different varying degrees of this right.
• 36:51
  Marc Cordon: And definitions.
• 36:52
  Samantha Pruitt: So when you were an artist and you're still an artist, but like you were in this real musical musician artist moment in your life and I assume you still play music- Still play music.
• 37:03
  Marc Cordon: Okay, still play music.
• 37:04
  Marc Cordon: But the stuff that I used to do in the band when I was not in the band, I went and used that kind of energy To do what To like train college students around health oh, you still can show up as your brand and like, feel like you are in front of an audience and connecting with that audience.
• 37:31
  Marc Cordon: You know, I think great creativity does that as well.
• 37:34
  Marc Cordon: It connects, you know.
• 37:37
  Samantha Pruitt: So yeah, Creativity is a way to build build connection you know, build things, whether it's art or whatever you know.
• 37:43
  Samantha Pruitt: Build experiences for people.
• 37:45
  Samantha Pruitt: That's what you were doing.
• 37:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Completely.
• 37:45
  Samantha Pruitt: I was doing that for a living for 15 years.
• 37:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Know, build experiences for people.
• 37:49
  Samantha Pruitt: That's what you were doing completely I was doing that for a living for 15 years, building experiences for people.
• 37:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Literally that's what I did.
• 37:56
  Samantha Pruitt: So like that's a real thing.
• 37:58
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, holly has been a creative human literally since the day she's born.
• 38:02
  Samantha Pruitt: She's one of the most creative people I know agree always thinking from that vantage point.
• 38:08
  Marc Cordon: Exactly yeah dude Hurting Merton's in the house, for those that are just listening.
• 38:15
  Polly Mertens: I have a pair of funky sunglasses that I love to wear.
• 38:18
  Polly Mertens: They're my just think of them as like music festival sunglasses, so I just pulled those out.
• 38:22
  Polly Mertens: We knew it would come out, didn't we?
• 38:39
  Samantha Pruitt: We knew it.
• 38:39
  Samantha Pruitt: I know, and I think you know, creativity.
• 38:41
  Polly Mertens: it's amazing how you know I used to make myself a lot wrong, because I studied a lot of business.
• 38:49
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's not a painter.
• 38:50
  Polly Mertens: You know, like in my mind up until that point, whenever this was, it was like people who paint, people who do music, people who get on stage and dance or perform, it's like these are artists and then the rest of us are just looking at them, you know, and then I was like it's not true.
• 39:08
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I love that your definition of creativity has curiosity in it, right, like that's really rich, because you know it's.
• 39:18
  Polly Mertens: I think some of what you were talking about that I started to get about like A creativity.
• 39:23
  Polly Mertens: I got the way you said it.
• 39:25
  Polly Mertens: What sparked for me was like it creates an emotion, right, so something that like tickles you or sparks an emotion, or like or, or, or whatever you know, or makes you want to move, or something like.
• 39:37
  Polly Mertens: So it creates an emotion and then it makes a desire to connect also, like you just want to like, go towards it.
• 39:42
  Polly Mertens: You're like, if you like the music, you want to listen to it louder, or you want to move to it.
• 39:47
  Polly Mertens: Or if it's somebody that's dancing on the stage or if they're performing something beautiful, you just are enthralled in it.
• 39:53
  Polly Mertens: Like you want to connect with their performance.
• 39:55
  Polly Mertens: You know, and they're on, it's not like a one-on-one, like they're not dancing for you, they could just be, you know, on stage and a ballerina or something you're just like completely fucking beautiful to watch.
• 40:04
  Polly Mertens: You know so and it's expressing everywhere.
• 40:07
  Polly Mertens: I mean, like sam and I do creative thing.
• 40:08
  Polly Mertens: You know, like I just want to get all of them.
• 40:11
  Polly Mertens: She does.
• 40:11
  Polly Mertens: Look at her.
• 40:13
  Polly Mertens: Look at her.
• 40:13
  Polly Mertens: She put her medals in a beautiful rainbow color.
• 40:16
  Samantha Pruitt: Well yeah, that isn't someone else do that.
• 40:18
  Samantha Pruitt: And I was like, yeah, it's freaking cool.
• 40:19
  Samantha Pruitt: I wasn't the creative one.
• 40:20
  Samantha Pruitt: I was like I'm doing that with my medals.
• 40:22
  Samantha Pruitt: They were just sitting in a bag, I was oh, is that roy g biff?
• 40:25
  Marc Cordon: like, did you start?
• 40:26
  Marc Cordon: Are you doing the actual spectrum Well?
• 40:28
  Samantha Pruitt: they are, I mean hello.
• 40:30
  Polly Mertens: Yes, and the green ones coming your way.
• 40:32
  Polly Mertens: But, mark, you have to have like a hundred of them to do Like.
• 40:37
  Polly Mertens: I have some, and mine wouldn't ever look like that.
• 40:40
  Samantha Pruitt: I have like three green and one yellow.
• 40:43
  Polly Mertens: It's all good, it's all good.
• 40:44
  Samantha Pruitt: You can do a lot Just working on the rainbow.
• 40:47
  Marc Cordon: Just working on the rainbow.
• 40:49
  Samantha Pruitt: I have a question for Mark.
• 40:50
  Samantha Pruitt: This is a changing the subject, can we?
• 40:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, of course, this is something I think about for myself and a lot of the people that I work with in the world come from a background my parents also immigrated to America.
• 41:08
  Samantha Pruitt: I was the first American born in my family off the boat, and that was a different experience for all of us, right, but nonetheless, in that cultural experience of our family's origin somewhere else, there's a whole other life experience happening there culturally, with those ancestors, with how things went, you know, depending on what generation that was, et cetera, and then coming to America, and then you know, trying to live the quote unquote American dream.
• 41:38
  Samantha Pruitt: How did your genetics, your family culture, your family's story and indeed your story of origin impact you in terms of how you identified and built your story?
• 41:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Did it hold you back or was it a catalyst for growth and opportunity?
• 42:00
  Samantha Pruitt: Because I see and I hear and I feel also both of these stories in myself and in those that I connect with that are having that, you know, immigrant experience.
• 42:11
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, right on Pass Next question.
• 42:16
  Samantha Pruitt: I knew it was going to come up sooner or later.
• 42:17
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, but you're talking about, you know, being first born in the United States and some of the how that shaped me and all those sorts of things and how I made decisions, from being a young kid to being a young adult, to being, you know, older now.
• 42:33
  Marc Cordon: That's what I'm hearing.
• 42:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, because on this journey you've really chosen a really great array so far and I mean you're not even halfway of opportunities to experience, rather than getting into the cultural mold or the pursuit of really this isn't a cultural mold chasing the American dream that so many of us have become trapped by or in, and maybe it's not just the American dream anymore.
• 43:00
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, it's like this whole onslaught of evil of what society is trying to get us all to do and cooperate and be part of that.
• 43:09
  Samantha Pruitt: We really want nothing to do with.
• 43:12
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, I'm hearing you.
• 43:12
  Marc Cordon: I'm hearing you, so for yourself.
• 43:14
  Samantha Pruitt: How did you work through that, come to terms with that, and how the hell are you crushing life now with the joy revolution?
• 43:19
  Marc Cordon: Wow.
• 43:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Look at that.
• 43:21
  Marc Cordon: Look at that.
• 43:22
  Marc Cordon: Well, I guess, to start, the reason I am where I am right now with the joy revolution is that the journey was paid, paved with a lot of insecurity, feeling lost, sadness, depression, not showing up, you know, just satisficing people, not fully self-expressing, you know.
• 43:44
  Marc Cordon: And so that's.
• 43:45
  Marc Cordon: That's part of it, you know.
• 43:47
  Marc Cordon: And, like I was talking about, when my parents came here, they went from being unknown to being well-known in this part of Tampa that I grew up in, right, my experience for the greater part of my life was this Mark, you are too Filipino to be white or American, and we'll remind you of that.
• 44:13
  Marc Cordon: When we do things like play cowboys and Native Americans, mark is the default foreigner, right.
• 44:20
  Marc Cordon: And then also, at the time I was, you know, born in late 70s, I remember and some people reminded me of some of the things that used to be going on.
• 44:33
  Marc Cordon: Number one, the Asian folks were never like on stages as singers, songwriters.
• 44:39
  Marc Cordon: Number two, if they were on television, if they were dudes, they were like somebody's sidekick, right.
• 44:45
  Marc Cordon: And then if they were females on television, like was a like, it was like a sexualized thing, white lotus flower lady, blah, blah, blah.
• 44:55
  Marc Cordon: And then I I specifically remember on time magazine, time a magazine, right.
• 45:01
  Marc Cordon: So this is a credited magazine.
• 45:03
  Marc Cordon: That's on every single supermarket like uh shelf.
• 45:07
  Marc Cordon: The magazine had a whole bunch of asian kids in it, right, like one dude was holding a basketball.
• 45:14
  Marc Cordon: The other person was like, right next to like a apple computer, right, all these like amazing achievements and it said those asian american whiz kids right his kids, those whiz kids, right.
• 45:29
  Marc Cordon: So I remember, I remember the things that I was seeing, informed, the person who I thought I could or could not be.
• 45:37
  Marc Cordon: I didn't see asian americans as lead singers.
• 45:41
  Marc Cordon: I did not see asian americans taking the role, uh, in in some movie where they're not like some caricature, right.
• 45:50
  Marc Cordon: And I remember, oh, we're going to go there, y'all Okay, like I remember, because I'm sure people have done this.
• 45:59
  Marc Cordon: But when I was a young kid grade school I remember going into the bathroom, closing the door, locking the door, looking at the mirror and say saying why the fuck God did you do this to me?
• 46:15
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh shit.
• 46:18
  Marc Cordon: Why did you not, why could you not make me like everybody else?
• 46:21
  Marc Cordon: This is fucked up.
• 46:22
  Marc Cordon: It's not fair, right?
• 46:25
  Marc Cordon: So there's all this stuff you know.
• 46:27
  Marc Cordon: So part of it is also my relationship with God, like I was a practicing Catholic at the time.
• 46:32
  Polly Mertens: Oh OK.
• 46:33
  Marc Cordon: Now.
• 46:33
  Marc Cordon: So what happened in college?
• 46:37
  Samantha Pruitt: was completely different.
• 46:38
  Samantha Pruitt: What did you say to yourself in the mirror then?
• 46:43
  Marc Cordon: I don't know.
• 46:44
  Marc Cordon: In college, yeah, I don't remember, let me see if I can track it back but I do remember going into college and I was like oh my goodness, there are Asians, there's Filipinos at this place, right, you know, and I remember, and I remember like I was learning how to speak in Tagalog and all this kind of stuff.
• 47:03
  Marc Cordon: I was immersing myself in that kind of culture.
• 47:07
  Marc Cordon: I was hanging out with other Filipinos, filipino-americans Around.
• 47:14
  Marc Cordon: The same time I went to the Philippines.
• 47:16
  Marc Cordon: They do this thing called a mano po, right To your elders.
• 47:23
  Marc Cordon: If you're the younger, the elder will put out their hand like this, and younger will take the hand and like bring it to the forehead.
• 47:29
  Marc Cordon: It's just a form of uh, it's a form of expression.
• 47:33
  Marc Cordon: I went, everyone, all my cousins, went and did it.
• 47:36
  Marc Cordon: But then when I went to do it, they went, they were like no man americano and I'm like bro, like I'm too american for the filipinos, right?
• 47:48
  Marc Cordon: So I would say that there was a lot of like confusion going on.
• 47:53
  Marc Cordon: I just didn't know where I.
• 47:55
  Marc Cordon: I didn't know where I belonged.
• 47:57
  Marc Cordon: I needed to choose either or I needed to code switch.
• 48:00
  Marc Cordon: When I was with Americans.
• 48:02
  Marc Cordon: I would show up this way when I was a Filipinos, I would, I'd have a different set of jokes, wow.
• 48:07
  Marc Cordon: So, just to bring this all together, I found a person I believe it's Jane Yang and B Kim.
• 48:16
  Marc Cordon: Right, they had this model to look at multiple identities American, filipino identities.
• 48:24
  Marc Cordon: So have you guys heard the term of acculturation?
• 48:27
  Samantha Pruitt: Acculturation?
• 48:28
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, I've heard of it, but I don't know how to define it no.
• 48:30
  Marc Cordon: Yeah.
• 48:31
  Marc Cordon: So acculturation is when you're from another culture and you come into the dominant culture and you change your behaviors around.
• 48:42
  Marc Cordon: That you acculturate and a lot of people who come from you know different parts of you, know the world, will do that.
• 48:48
  Marc Cordon: I don't know if your parents did that, sam, but, like for my parents there was a lot of acculturation.
• 48:54
  Marc Cordon: But then what I never heard of before was enculturation and unculture.
• 48:59
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, and culture and culture ration is when you, the mind minority, go into the majority and you keep.
• 49:08
  Marc Cordon: You keep the values that you came with.
• 49:11
  Marc Cordon: That's beautiful.
• 49:12
  Marc Cordon: So when you mix acculturation and enculturation, you get to create, like this third space of being that you want to define but also being aware what do I get to keep from my like value system and what, what do I get to bring in from that value system?
• 49:30
  Marc Cordon: You know from the former value system, and I can't help but think that, like, this is not just a race thing.
• 49:39
  Marc Cordon: No, we are very multi, like multi identities.
• 49:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh totally.
• 49:44
  Samantha Pruitt: Even people that go we'll just use the United States because we're three in the United States, but they go from state to state.
• 49:50
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh completely doing this right.
• 49:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Like all of a sudden, the guy from texas who was a rancher, a cowboy or whatever, comes into california and all of a sudden he's got flip flops on and beach board shorts and whatever and a cowboy hat or records the record scratch moment right right like it's got.
• 50:06
  Samantha Pruitt: I have this part of me that I care deeply about.
• 50:09
  Samantha Pruitt: That's who I am, you know.
• 50:11
  Samantha Pruitt: It's part of the fabric of my being, and genetically and culturally and so forth, and I I'm proud of that and I want to be that person.
• 50:20
  Samantha Pruitt: Still most they just self-identify.
• 50:33
  Marc Cordon: They create that identity.
• 50:35
  Polly Mertens: Like I mean, I don't know.
• 50:36
  Polly Mertens: I think we're so pro-Maverick.
• 50:39
  Polly Mertens: You know like we would vote for.
• 50:41
  Polly Mertens: Like get the hell out of the mainstream so much.
• 50:45
  Polly Mertens: You know it's like get on the fringe.
• 50:47
  Polly Mertens: Not be the majority, no, be the minority.
• 50:50
  Polly Mertens: Like we're the minority of one, each of us.
• 50:53
  Polly Mertens: Like we're all freaking snowflakes.
• 50:54
  Polly Mertens: Like stop trying to blend in vanilla eyes, homogenized down the middle.
• 50:58
  Polly Mertens: Fuck that.
• 50:59
  Polly Mertens: Everybody be like.
• 51:01
  Polly Mertens: Everybody's got a lane.
• 51:02
  Polly Mertens: Everybody's got a lane.
• 51:03
  Polly Mertens: You don't need to look like my lane.
• 51:17
  Samantha Pruitt: I don't need to look like your lane, I respect yours, you respect my.
• 51:18
  Samantha Pruitt: Okay, like you know, like, yeah, after it, like all the, you know that, yeah, go ahead, sam, but mark is in his being.
• 51:21
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm going to speak for you for a hot second, my friend.
• 51:21
  Samantha Pruitt: Sorry is just so like beautifully demonstrating that by by who you are in the world, who you're being, who you're, how you're speaking and the stories that you're sharing, and then the work that you're bringing to the world Right Like so you're modeling it for other people who do not, who feel radically uncomfortable here.
• 51:40
  Marc Cordon: Sure.
• 51:42
  Samantha Pruitt: And we need these role models, these models, we need people like you, of all types.
• 51:47
  Marc Cordon: And I consider both of you like like be doing the work as well.
• 51:51
  Samantha Pruitt: I do it for the old lady club.
• 51:52
  Samantha Pruitt: Many other spaces I'm like hey y'all, I don't care if you have gray hair.
• 51:57
  Samantha Pruitt: Hello, like this is how we roll.
• 51:59
  Samantha Pruitt: You know, if you don't show people what's possible, then maybe they never know what's possible because they're so entrenched in the story that they were sold and they bought into for themselves the limiting stories.
• 52:14
  Marc Cordon: Yes.
• 52:14
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, it's like a freaking cage and you broke out of the cage.
• 52:18
  Samantha Pruitt: We've broken out of the cage, but a lot of people are still in the cage and you're doing this joy revolution.
• 52:23
  Samantha Pruitt: I want you to talk about that, like what does that mean for people?
• 52:25
  Samantha Pruitt: What is that work, that body of work?
• 52:28
  Samantha Pruitt: That is your story, and how are people going to find it and use it to maybe get themselves out of the cage?
• 52:37
  Marc Cordon: No, I get it.
• 52:37
  Marc Cordon: I get it Before the joy revolution stuff.
• 52:40
  Marc Cordon: Like, as I'm listening to you, polly and Sam talk about things, when we engage in places where we are both vulnerable and safe and we know what we stand for and who we are, we are creating controversy with civility.
• 52:55
  Marc Cordon: Sometimes, right now, it may feel like we are creating controversy and then like that will that turns into a shit show afterwards, right?
• 53:05
  Marc Cordon: So yeah, with this Joy Revolution course, a lot of people I would call it an experience.
• 53:12
  Marc Cordon: But I think a lot of people come in and they're like yo, I'm happy already, I don't need to take your course.
• 53:18
  Marc Cordon: And I'm like no, this course is not about you.
• 53:21
  Marc Cordon: Like being depressed and becoming happy.
• 53:24
  Marc Cordon: Like, therapy is there for that.
• 53:26
  Marc Cordon: Like psychiatry is there for that.
• 53:29
  Marc Cordon: Help groups are there for that.
• 53:30
  Marc Cordon: Like psychiatry is there for that.
• 53:31
  Marc Cordon: Help groups are there from that.
• 53:32
  Marc Cordon: I would not go and take people who are mentally in disorder or mentally languishing and then think that some course will cure that.
• 53:42
  Marc Cordon: This isn't working in tandem with folks, right?
• 53:45
  Marc Cordon: So you know, if we think about, you know, mental health, there still is a lot of stigma around it.
• 53:48
  Marc Cordon: Right?
• 53:49
  Marc Cordon: So you know, if we think about, you know, mental health.
• 53:50
  Marc Cordon: There still is a lot of stigma around it, right?
• 53:52
  Marc Cordon: But a couple years ago the WHO, the World Health Organization, went and said the lack of languishing does not infer the presence of flourishing.
• 54:09
  Marc Cordon: So just because you're not unhappy, I think that's right, oh you're surviving.
• 54:16
  Marc Cordon: Exactly Just because you're surviving or that you're not unhappy does not mean that your head hits the bed every single night and you almost even have like tears of joy, right.
• 54:31
  Marc Cordon: And so essentially, that's what the growth, the joy revolution is.
• 54:35
  Polly Mertens: Okay.
• 54:35
  Marc Cordon: Yo, people listen up.
• 54:37
  Marc Cordon: If you are like a seven out of 10 or an eight out of 10 or even a nine out of 10 and thinking like, what is it that I can do to like dial it to a 10 or to break the knob on that, I'll give the whole program away.
• 54:52
  Marc Cordon: It's to do something for another person, right?
• 54:58
  Marc Cordon: But we are in a.
• 55:01
  Marc Cordon: This is a really fun era right now because there's a lot of folks that are like oh, joy revolution, you have to be happy.
• 55:07
  Marc Cordon: No, you can look at something that's going on and be like that fucking pisses me off.
• 55:12
  Marc Cordon: That's fine, but I hold anyone who is a problem identifier to become a problem solver and so if you go and take down some structure out of anger, you best create the new structure in joy, happiness and flourishing.
• 55:30
  Marc Cordon: Right, and that's the biggest thing about the joy revolution is that we do get to talk about those things.
• 55:35
  Marc Cordon: We do get to talk about what is that extra dial that we want to turn it up and then break it, like we've got a moth storyteller who came on.
• 55:45
  Marc Cordon: Moth is like the TEDx of storytellers.
• 55:47
  Marc Cordon: We had a person write a TEDx talk in it.
• 55:53
  Marc Cordon: We had people come in and started side businesses because of that.
• 55:57
  Marc Cordon: All in service to other people, all in service to other people, but bringing their level of happiness to a 10 or 11.
• 56:06
  Marc Cordon: It's incredible.
• 56:08
  Marc Cordon: It's incredible.
• 56:09
  Marc Cordon: I love it.
• 56:09
  Marc Cordon: It feels so good to every time.
• 56:10
  Marc Cordon: See a cohort or 11.
• 56:10
  Marc Cordon: It's, it's incredible.
• 56:11
  Marc Cordon: It's incredible and it feels so good to every time see a cohort come through.
• 56:14
  Samantha Pruitt: And it's a course that you own and operate, and how long is the course and it's online.
• 56:19
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, it's, it's uh, it's online, it's live.
• 56:22
  Marc Cordon: It's not one of these courses that I'm going to pre-record something and then you're going to have a quiz to take and you've never heard of me before.
• 56:29
  Marc Cordon: We keep the.
• 56:30
  Samantha Pruitt: we keep the, you're a real person, get out of here I am real.
• 56:36
  Marc Cordon: You're not an ai generated joy, revolution.
• 56:40
  Marc Cordon: Oil can, oil can well, I think you know there is.
• 56:46
  Marc Cordon: There is power and empowerment that comes from seeing the same person for like nine weeks.
• 56:52
  Marc Cordon: Oh yeah, it's the space you're creating.
• 56:56
  Samantha Pruitt: Exactly Just the space, even if you weren't even to talk.
• 56:59
  Samantha Pruitt: Just your beautiful face and you like.
• 57:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Creating the space and then letting a bunch of humans in.
• 57:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, it's like you know, the subject matter is yeah, and then the bubble is created and then you see what happens.
• 57:11
  Samantha Pruitt: Completely, it's freaking pure magic.
• 57:13
  Samantha Pruitt: What are we talking about?
• 57:14
  Samantha Pruitt: It's worth paying for, right there.
• 57:17
  Marc Cordon: Well, you know, I just wanted to try to complete certain things that are put out there, right.
• 57:23
  Marc Cordon: So you know, ok, what happens when, like, a huge tragedy happens.
• 57:30
  Marc Cordon: Right, we come together, right?
• 57:34
  Polly Mertens: You know, maybe that was in Landmark, I forget but it was like like, let's do away with the need for those things, for people to help each other Completely Like, and that's you know, it's like everybody's about themselves.
• 58:02
  Polly Mertens: And then like, oh, there's this tragedy, oh, we need to, you know, do something.
• 58:05
  Marc Cordon: Yep, so in the joy revolution, one of the things that we talk about is yo, there's no tragedy.
• 58:10
  Marc Cordon: How do we create, like, how can we create uh, the term is collective effervescence where everybody is moved is to a place where their heart overflow with you know, um, but then you know we got to take care of other things.
• 58:28
  Marc Cordon: Okay, now we'll go back to it again because of a tragedy, right?
• 58:31
  Marc Cordon: So that's one of the things with the Joy Revolution.
• 58:35
  Marc Cordon: I'm so blessed to have been given the privilege of, like going through positive psychology classes and stuff like that.
• 58:42
  Marc Cordon: So like this isn't just a, this isn't a feel-good course, it's you're going to feel good but you're going to feel empowered when, let's say that you guys are writing a grant to go and do everyday awesome live, right, you can use the, the research that I gave you from the joy revolution course to go and get that grant for yourself, you know, and so it really is moving, a lot of things, you know.
• 59:06
  Marc Cordon: And then, on on a regular basis, I get to see people lit up, lit up, you know.
• 59:12
  Polly Mertens: So, yeah, well, I want to share with people that I don't think we got to yet in this conversation, that I just want to insert in here because we heard a lot I mean a little bit of you know how you were growing up the marginalized and you know that feeling and you know, like no-transcript, you've just transformed how you go about it and what was that for you?
• 59:59
  Polly Mertens: Like, where did that pivot happen?
• 1:00:01
  Polly Mertens: What had you go?
• 1:00:03
  Polly Mertens: Oh wait, maybe we don't have to fight against each other, maybe we don't have to fight for my voice, maybe I don't have to go against what you say to be heard, but instead there was a different way.
• 1:00:14
  Polly Mertens: What was that for you?
• 1:00:15
  Marc Cordon: Oh, my goodness, You're asking me to like share a secret here, so didn't know it was a secret.
• 1:00:21
  Polly Mertens: This is great.
• 1:00:23
  Marc Cordon: So, so I just thought the way that you operate with social change is to be pissed off, right, and, like I said, you can be pissed off or whatever.
• 1:00:31
  Marc Cordon: You just need to use the energy to move forward.
• 1:00:33
  Marc Cordon: The turnaround was seeing Dr Keyes' what is it called?
• 1:00:43
  Marc Cordon: His syllabus, right?
• 1:00:44
  Marc Cordon: Um, seeing that, like, really expanded my mind.
• 1:00:50
  Marc Cordon: Um, to it doesn't have to be an us versus them and you need to just get off at Cordon, like.
• 1:00:59
  Marc Cordon: You need to just see that there's more ways to to create change.
• 1:01:03
  Marc Cordon: Work, you know now, in terms of like moving, in terms of moving forward.
• 1:01:09
  Marc Cordon: Here's the little secret right, for the joy revolution, the joy revolution.
• 1:01:14
  Marc Cordon: I guess you would go and say there's the green drink and the milkshake.
• 1:01:21
  Marc Cordon: Right, let me give you the milkshake.
• 1:01:23
  Marc Cordon: First, you're going to go from an 8 to a 10 to a 12 to a 15, right.
• 1:01:27
  Marc Cordon: The green drink is you're going to serve the shit out of people, and so people will come in and it's not like I, I, it's not like I hide it, but people will come in and it's up to me to give them that milkshake, right.
• 1:01:41
  Marc Cordon: But then when, when you're in a group, a circle of people who are like yo, there's massive momentum, there's been activation energy.
• 1:01:51
  Marc Cordon: There are other people that are supporting people's joy revolutions, like suddenly it's overwhelming, you know, and it's just so much fun.
• 1:01:59
  Marc Cordon: We just we just closed one of the joy revolutions.
• 1:02:02
  Marc Cordon: And the way that we closed the joy revolution is talking about what we've created, what we intend to continue to create, and I mean it is, it's just moving.
• 1:02:13
  Marc Cordon: You know it's moving seeing someone come in and are like yo, I don't know what I'm going to do, and suddenly she's creating these short stories.
• 1:02:23
  Marc Cordon: She's looking to get into moth.
• 1:02:25
  Marc Cordon: All of that is the milkshake and the green drink at once.
• 1:02:29
  Marc Cordon: And, by the way, shout out to scott martin for for coming up with that term.
• 1:02:33
  Polly Mertens: so I don't know it.
• 1:02:35
  Polly Mertens: What is it?
• 1:02:35
  Polly Mertens: I can't steal it.
• 1:02:36
  Polly Mertens: I can't steal the green drink and the milkshake.
• 1:02:39
  Polly Mertens: Oh, I thought you said moth.
• 1:02:40
  Polly Mertens: I don't know what the moth moth is a storytelling platform.
• 1:02:43
  Marc Cordon: It's amazing are you gonna do it?
• 1:02:45
  Marc Cordon: Are you gonna do a story coach?
• 1:02:46
  Samantha Pruitt: do it Are you going to do a story, coach Sam?
• 1:02:48
  Samantha Pruitt: I should do it, I should, she should.
• 1:02:49
  Marc Cordon: What needs to happen to take the should away.
• 1:02:54
  Samantha Pruitt: Not much, but what I was thinking about when you were telling that story, is that what you're saying or what I'm hearing?
• 1:03:03
  Samantha Pruitt: Tell me if I'm wrong.
• 1:03:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Is that anger is contagious?
• 1:03:08
  Marc Cordon: Exactly.
• 1:03:08
  Samantha Pruitt: So is joy.
• 1:03:09
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, so get yourself in this cycle of being in a community with social justice, work or whatever.
• 1:03:17
  Samantha Pruitt: Fill in the blank, you know, in your work environment, your home environment or whatever where there is this underlying anger.
• 1:03:24
  Marc Cordon: Yes.
• 1:03:24
  Samantha Pruitt: That is brewing.
• 1:03:25
  Samantha Pruitt: Yes, every day you're going to wake up and feel more angry.
• 1:03:29
  Samantha Pruitt: You don't shit Until you're basically busting down walls and lighting buildings on fire and whatever else happening.
• 1:03:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Of course, that is a type of action, but another type of action could be that there's so much joy in the room, in your revolution, in your groups, in the space that you're curating.
• 1:03:45
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, that's the same type of action in a positive way, actually more more powerful, right?
• 1:03:51
  Samantha Pruitt: Because ultimately, that work that people are putting out into the world, that is joy filled, will have a much bigger impact than any of this burning down buildings and you know, I'm not saying people shouldn't march in the street and all that stuff.
• 1:04:04
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, there's a time and place for these things to be happening.
• 1:04:06
  Samantha Pruitt: But if you can take what you're saying here and make joy what is contagious, that's transformational as well, and sometimes people forget that.
• 1:04:18
  Marc Cordon: Completely.
• 1:04:19
  Marc Cordon: And number one like, sometimes we can't figure out, like, why is this going in on in the community?
• 1:04:24
  Marc Cordon: There's a, a book I wouldn't say a good or a bad book called rules for radicals and when, when people do not have anything left, all bets are off, right.
• 1:04:36
  Marc Cordon: Now, when it comes, you know?
• 1:04:38
  Marc Cordon: The other piece that you're talking about is I'm nerding out here, so feel free to delete this but it's called emotional contagion, right?
• 1:04:48
  Marc Cordon: So if you, there was a story done of college students there would be a floor where it would be more flourishing, right, mental health, and then there'd be a floor that was more languishing mental health, and what they found?
• 1:05:02
  Marc Cordon: That if somebody went to the languishing floor they were more likely to become depressed and sad and languish.
• 1:05:13
  Marc Cordon: The other side, they were more likely to be flourishing, happy, joyful, liking their friends, feeling like they're making an impact in the world.
• 1:05:22
  Marc Cordon: So there sort of is that social contagion that's going on A hundred percent.
• 1:05:29
  Marc Cordon: But we can take that.
• 1:05:31
  Marc Cordon: We can take that happy place right.
• 1:05:34
  Marc Cordon: And when we give opportunities for people to go and flourish more and more and more and more, that's where collective effervescence happens.
• 1:05:44
  Marc Cordon: We share this moment of like joy, ebullience, and if they can do it in a.
• 1:05:52
  Marc Cordon: If they can do it in a dorm, we can probably do it in other places too.
• 1:05:59
  Samantha Pruitt: Polly calls it pixie dust.
• 1:06:00
  Samantha Pruitt: What?
• 1:06:02
  Marc Cordon: oh pixie dust, do tell poly.
• 1:06:05
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, well, well you I think I called it spreading.
• 1:06:08
  Polly Mertens: So mark out of landmark.
• 1:06:09
  Polly Mertens: We had a homework assignment, I think it was in access create the power to create, and it literally the homework as I remember I think I shared it with sam was like go spread magic in the world and I was like I'm fucking doing that, totally doing that.
• 1:06:21
  Polly Mertens: And then I like like I pinged her and she's like I'm gonna take that with me.
• 1:06:25
  Polly Mertens: She's like I'm gonna spread pixie dust all around.
• 1:06:28
  Polly Mertens: You know where she's going and stuff.
• 1:06:29
  Polly Mertens: So she goes like throughout her day like spreading pixie dust.
• 1:06:31
  Polly Mertens: I love it yeah, oh yeah
• 1:06:32
  Polly Mertens: it's so good, you do it too.
• 1:06:33
  Samantha Pruitt: That's who you are in the world mark.
• 1:06:34
  Samantha Pruitt: Like you can't, you do it too.
• 1:06:35
  Samantha Pruitt: That's who you are in the world Mark.
• 1:06:37
  Samantha Pruitt: Like you can't not do it.
• 1:06:38
  Samantha Pruitt: I mean, I guarantee you walk into a room full of strangers.
• 1:06:42
  Samantha Pruitt: I already know this about you.
• 1:06:44
  Samantha Pruitt: How could you not be this person?
• 1:06:45
  Samantha Pruitt: And you deliver magic and pixie dust.
• 1:06:48
  Marc Cordon: You're a liar.
• 1:06:49
  Marc Cordon: No, I'm not trying to fish for compliments.
• 1:06:53
  Samantha Pruitt: And you probably just do it because it's just who you are in the world.
• 1:06:57
  Samantha Pruitt: But like creating an awareness with our, our listeners or people who know us and experience us, as to like they could also be doing that the reward really it's a selfish act.
• 1:07:10
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm gonna tell you.
• 1:07:11
  Samantha Pruitt: It is me.
• 1:07:12
  Samantha Pruitt: Delivering pixie dust to random people on the daily is a purely selfish act, y'all Like it's me getting the love back.
• 1:07:22
  Marc Cordon: Hey.
• 1:07:22
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm throwing the rainbow on you and I'm hanging out waiting for it to drop down on me.
• 1:07:28
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, buddy, exactly.
• 1:07:31
  Marc Cordon: It's like Skittles.
• 1:07:32
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh yeah.
• 1:07:33
  Polly Mertens: I'm tasting the rainbow Exactly so good, oh God.
• 1:07:36
  Polly Mertens: Well, let me ask you something that I think, um, something that I had thought of before we got on here, that we, sam and I, bring up a lot when we were on our podcast.
• 1:07:46
  Polly Mertens: Because you know, we, you know, as coaches, and you too, mark, you know, there's times when people come to us and they got to get out of the doldrums, you know, or like they need strategies to get out of the doldrums, right, and as coaches, we have it too, right.
• 1:07:59
  Polly Mertens: So I'm asking you, as a human being walking this planet, not always, it's not always rainbows and sunshine.
• 1:08:05
  Polly Mertens: There's, there's a one percent when it's not right.
• 1:08:11
  Polly Mertens: What's the ways?
• 1:08:14
  Polly Mertens: How have you grown and what are your tools or what's your process?
• 1:08:19
  Polly Mertens: You know if you're having an off day, or I'm on it, or resistance, or just meh, or you're, you know, angry as fuck, like how do you?
• 1:08:30
  Samantha Pruitt: Somebody pissed in your Cheerios dude?
• 1:08:32
  Samantha Pruitt: What are you going to do about it Again?
• 1:08:35
  Polly Mertens: Like tell us about what do you do, like how would you yeah?
• 1:08:41
  Marc Cordon: I think there's a lot of different things.
• 1:08:42
  Marc Cordon: I mean, I know I was feeling like this yesterday and a big thing that, uh, I don't like talking down to people, but I'm going to talk about what works with me.
• 1:08:51
  Marc Cordon: I had something to do put on running shoes and just did it.
• 1:08:57
  Marc Cordon: I did the thing.
• 1:08:58
  Marc Cordon: I did the thing.
• 1:09:00
  Marc Cordon: I walked away from it, you know, and um, uh, to to let something incubate for a while and then come back to it and it's like, oh yeah, well, you know, that was a moment of anger, that was a moment, that was a moment of fear, you know, and that's usually what.
• 1:09:17
  Marc Cordon: What bubbles up is fear, you know, and uh, to take a stand, or or to to take the opportunity to get away from it, put it out here and then walk away and then come back, um, is it gone or is it still there?
• 1:09:31
  Marc Cordon: You know, um, also, at the same time, like I think it's important to like be mindful of your day, you know, and so, like, how do I want to show up today?
• 1:09:45
  Marc Cordon: And you know, like that really is a powerful thing.
• 1:09:49
  Marc Cordon: I just did this with our podcast.
• 1:09:51
  Marc Cordon: Like I sat and I was like how do I want to show up for this podcast.
• 1:09:56
  Marc Cordon: It gives me the ability to donate to something that's already good with your podcast.
• 1:10:03
  Marc Cordon: You know, sleeping sleeping it off is a good way.
• 1:10:07
  Marc Cordon: You know what I mean and I hate to, and this is the way it went down.
• 1:10:25
  Marc Cordon: I'm not upset at this person, so really just getting what's so about things is one of the biggest things ever.
• 1:10:33
  Marc Cordon: What would you call what's so?
• 1:10:35
  Marc Cordon: Polly, coach Polly.
• 1:10:38
  Samantha Pruitt: She says is that true?
• 1:10:39
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, yeah, well, that's another strategy that I have.
• 1:10:43
  Polly Mertens: But like what so is.
• 1:10:44
  Polly Mertens: So in Landmark we say what so?
• 1:10:47
  Polly Mertens: Okay, so what right?
• 1:10:48
  Polly Mertens: So like, a lot of times, what happens with people is there's the thing that happened and it's a finite thing.
• 1:10:57
  Polly Mertens: Joe hit the dog right.
• 1:11:00
  Polly Mertens: And then the story that upsets us is you know, way bigger, like Joe's an asshole and Joe's always doing that and you know Joe's in my yard or whatever.
• 1:11:11
  Polly Mertens: Like the story is what blows up.
• 1:11:13
  Polly Mertens: It's like okay, you know, this happened, right, somebody didn't show up on time.
• 1:11:17
  Polly Mertens: What's so is they didn't arrive on time.
• 1:11:20
  Polly Mertens: The what's wrong is what upsets us Mm-hmm, right.
• 1:11:25
  Marc Cordon: Completely.
• 1:11:26
  Polly Mertens: So it's like okay, so what he's talking about is like just say what's so, so that you can kind of take the steam, the heat off of the moment you know like sets your fire up through your head, and it's like, okay, we'll take the steam out of it so that you can just be with.
• 1:11:41
  Polly Mertens: Well, that was the thing, Okay, and that's not so bad.
• 1:11:44
  Polly Mertens: Usually it's like little shit.
• 1:11:47
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, it is, and it's inside of us that the story lives and the dysfunction or the thing that happened 15 years ago, that that hit and reminds me of that.
• 1:11:55
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, makes it all wrong and makes me.
• 1:12:05
  Polly Mertens: We sure it and reminds me of that.
• 1:12:06
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, makes it all wrong and makes me we sure.
• 1:12:07
  Polly Mertens: Make shit up on a regular basis.
• 1:12:08
  Polly Mertens: We make a lot of shit the mind is a meaning making machine.
• 1:12:09
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, so that's its job.
• 1:12:10
  Polly Mertens: It's narrating your life, and it's not always like happy times.
• 1:12:11
  Marc Cordon: Happy times, no it's good, and so I don't know about y'all, but, but there's been days where, like, I went from like seeing a roommate in the morning and then, like, after they left, I started thinking about something oh, did they say that to me to piss me off?
• 1:12:26
  Marc Cordon: And then the next thing that happens at the end of the day, my roommate comes back and I'm furious with them, right.
• 1:12:33
  Marc Cordon: And so, like Polly, you are so.
• 1:12:36
  Marc Cordon: That's so true, right, because, like any pockets where we lack details, we'll freely fill them.
• 1:12:43
  Marc Cordon: But if you don't, I want to hear what you guys do in terms of going through that.
• 1:12:50
  Marc Cordon: But since you asked me to share, there's a nice one HALT, that I love.
• 1:12:55
  Marc Cordon: Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
• 1:12:57
  Marc Cordon: Right, that's a nice little check-in Self-determination theory which it just basically says this am I choosing to do this right now?
• 1:13:07
  Marc Cordon: Like, for example, I'm a you know.
• 1:13:09
  Marc Cordon: Am I choosing to be on this podcast, even though I'm angry and have crushes on both of the coaches at the same time?
• 1:13:14
  Marc Cordon: Right.
• 1:13:15
  Marc Cordon: And then it's like, yeah, I get to be here, I want to be here you know, yeah, um, you know, and and then, uh, asking myself yourself what's the meaning in all of this?
• 1:13:27
  Marc Cordon: What is that meaning?
• 1:13:29
  Marc Cordon: So like that meaning, making machine stuff is a big deal.
• 1:13:32
  Samantha Pruitt: So I'm glad that you brought that up, polly, yeah and I love and this might be coming from my buddhist.
• 1:13:38
  Samantha Pruitt: Uh, you know, I'm in the middle of learning all these things about buddhism and it's fascinating me, but just not having any agenda, I'm just becoming more and more of a fan of like having no script yeah holly's, like you already were doing that.
• 1:13:53
  Samantha Pruitt: No, I'm trying.
• 1:13:54
  Samantha Pruitt: I'm doing that like at another level in my life, like just showing up and being like I really have no clue what's going to happen right now.
• 1:14:01
  Samantha Pruitt: Hi, what?
• 1:14:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Samantha?
• 1:14:02
  Samantha Pruitt: Just being like so aware that I'm just here to be here with you, with you.
• 1:14:08
  Samantha Pruitt: What are we going to talk about?
• 1:14:09
  Samantha Pruitt: How are we going to be so I can get out of my own head and really be listening?
• 1:14:15
  Samantha Pruitt: and feeling, even more importantly importantly, feeling what's going down, so I can then contribute back that positive energy and just be really open to anything as possible here, rather than showing up to the party already, like I already know the guy's a jerk and they're gonna say this, do that.
• 1:14:36
  Samantha Pruitt: And then I'm in my head, this is how I'm going to counter that and this is how I need to show up and this is how they perceive me.
• 1:14:43
  Samantha Pruitt: So I bet you know, like this, it's not a game of chess and checkers.
• 1:14:47
  Marc Cordon: Yes, yes, you're so good.
• 1:14:49
  Polly Mertens: Well, samantha plays a game, so she's the ethereal diplomat, that's what I call her right so ethereal diplomat.
• 1:14:56
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, so she is Switzerland out in the world walking around, queen of Switzerland, Everything's good.
• 1:15:05
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, she just flies the Switzerland flag like, which means like there's no problems here.
• 1:15:09
  Polly Mertens: This is a neutral country.
• 1:15:10
  Polly Mertens: There shouldn't be most of the time you come into Samantha's space it's neutral and then it's leaning towards.
• 1:15:22
  Samantha Pruitt: things are good, y'all you know so like and resolution, and then problem solving and resolution, which is what you tapped into mark too.
• 1:15:25
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I love all of that right and and it's a beautiful space.
• 1:15:29
  Polly Mertens: Like I don't mark as much time as I can spend around this woman.
• 1:15:33
  Polly Mertens: I just try and learn it and absorb it and osmosis it because it's just her way of being.
• 1:15:39
  Polly Mertens: It's not like a contrived, it's not like you know, like I get you, like I'm totally like you, like, oh, if I'm going to go on a podcast or if I'm going to make a tough phone call or something like I'm going to be intentional about it, like she can't help it, like she's so conditioned it, you know it's that unconscious, it's unconscious consciousness, you know.
• 1:16:01
  Polly Mertens: It's like who she is as a gift to the world is Switzerland and her beauty in negotiation and people you know on either side of the table, like having strife and stuff like that.
• 1:16:08
  Polly Mertens: So and even, yeah, it's just, it's a beautiful way of being.
• 1:16:12
  Samantha Pruitt: Why do I see so much?
• 1:16:13
  Polly Mertens: conflict Mark, Because they need you.
• 1:16:17
  Samantha Pruitt: Again selfish.
• 1:16:19
  Samantha Pruitt: Everyone's all about me, anyway.
• 1:16:21
  Samantha Pruitt: Is that's what I want?
• 1:16:24
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, okay.
• 1:16:25
  Samantha Pruitt: So I want to show up to that space.
• 1:16:28
  Samantha Pruitt: I want the gift from that person as well.
• 1:16:31
  Samantha Pruitt: I want this space, I want the you know, like that's what I want.
• 1:16:36
  Samantha Pruitt: So if I want that in my own life and experience, I sure the hell better deliver that.
• 1:16:42
  Samantha Pruitt: It's true, it's my responsibility.
• 1:16:45
  Samantha Pruitt: If I do something else to the party, you're going to get that back, right?
• 1:16:50
  Marc Cordon: Completely right, and Corey Keys would be, so proud of what you just said, right.
• 1:16:55
  Marc Cordon: We gotta get corn keys, the four of us, because here you are like absolutely loving what you're doing in life, right, you're feeling like you're having a you know, you feel great, you're giving it away, right.
• 1:17:10
  Marc Cordon: So that's that feeling of living the life well lived, right.
• 1:17:15
  Marc Cordon: And then, like you're talking about it, it's very selfish because you're getting something back.
• 1:17:22
  Marc Cordon: So if you're getting something back and you're giving something away, and it's the same thing, that's what Corey Keyes would say.
• 1:17:31
  Marc Cordon: That's the key to flourishing in the world, right, and it seems so easy, but sometimes it can get really tough, especially when we think of our parents being immigrants or we think about, you know, the context in which we're growing up, where people are not empowered to do well right, they're just empowered to be sheeple, you know.
• 1:17:56
  Polly Mertens: So it's really simple at first, but also there's a lot of context that can make navigating it pretty hard, and I love talking to you guys about it and I love talking about in the joy revolution too, so Well, I just appreciate, you know, I want to acknowledge you for because where I started in my journey in social justice and environmentalism and things like that, the things that I saw at the time and this is many years ago was a lot of the anger, you know, like I participated in protests and like sit-in kind of energy and stuff like that.
• 1:18:29
  Polly Mertens: And then I also found my way to the other side, the beautiful side.
• 1:18:36
  Polly Mertens: You know the study of Martin Luther King and the study of Gandhi.
• 1:18:39
  Polly Mertens: And so just I acknowledge you for what you're up to in the world, because social change and social justice for all is such a beautiful thing and I think the overarching joy that you're bringing, the uniqueness, the snowflake that you are, it's needed in the world, like it's just it's such a gift that you are, it's needed in the world, like it's just it's such a gift that you are and I I would say that your soul chose the people and the body and the places and all that stuff, and for you to have those like what's wrong with me?
• 1:19:07
  Polly Mertens: Moments and then to arc out of it in your story, like, and I want to give back and help other people, and now you're a storyteller, like, like that's what you are creating in the world is like.
• 1:19:17
  Polly Mertens: You have this past of like current and you had to go through those you know, clunky moments and embarrassment and shame or pissed offness or whatever.
• 1:19:27
  Polly Mertens: Sing your heart out in texas, yeah, and now it's like, and you can help other people share their stories because you've got such a rich story as well, you spot it, you got it.
• 1:19:41
  Marc Cordon: Burton Mertens.
• 1:19:42
  Polly Mertens: Kudos, manila Ice, manila Ice.
• 1:19:45
  Polly Mertens: We've got to get Samantha, we're going to get you a roller derby name.
• 1:19:48
  Polly Mertens: So one of the things, mark, we didn't tell you that we like to do towards the end of our podcast is kind of give people if they fast forward.
• 1:19:55
  Polly Mertens: They're like I don't have time to listen to these three monkeys talk all the time.
• 1:19:59
  Samantha Pruitt: Right, but let me get to the end of it.
• 1:20:01
  Polly Mertens: But anyway, because we're amazing, we're interesting to listen to, we all are, we all are.
• 1:20:06
  Marc Cordon: We're the best.
• 1:20:07
  Polly Mertens: What's your one thing?
• 1:20:08
  Polly Mertens: What's one thing that you would either summarize something you've already said or something you haven't said, something that you want to leave people with?
• 1:20:18
  Marc Cordon: what would you tell the listener who you know you said to hear one thing can't remember the direct quote, but by lawrence purcell jacks, who uh basically says uh, in a world where we either work or play, why don't we work and play and let other people determine which is which?
• 1:20:44
  Polly Mertens: Say it again.
• 1:20:44
  Polly Mertens: Say it again, please.
• 1:20:45
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 1:20:46
  Polly Mertens: I love it Again.
• 1:20:49
  Marc Cordon: Say it again, dad.
• 1:20:50
  Marc Cordon: Say it again In a world of I'm not going to say it exactly in a world where work and play are different, why not work?
• 1:21:03
  Marc Cordon: I don't even remember.
• 1:21:04
  Marc Cordon: In a world where distinctions are made between work and play, why don't you do both of them at once and let other people figure out which is which?
• 1:21:14
  Samantha Pruitt: Yeah, yeah, exactly, mic drop.
• 1:21:17
  Samantha Pruitt: That was a joy bomb, by the way.
• 1:21:22
  Polly Mertens: And we adhere to that.
• 1:21:23
  Polly Mertens: We agree with that.
• 1:21:25
  Samantha Pruitt: One million percent.
• 1:21:26
  Polly Mertens: Remote high five.
• 1:21:27
  Polly Mertens: Yes to that.
• 1:21:28
  Samantha Pruitt: Voting yes.
• 1:21:29
  Samantha Pruitt: Voting yes.
• 1:21:30
  Polly Mertens: All right.
• 1:21:31
  Polly Mertens: Well, Mark, thank you so much for being here.
• 1:21:33
  Polly Mertens: And how can people find you?
• 1:21:34
  Polly Mertens: What is the best way to get a hold of you and your joy revolution that you're up to?
• 1:21:38
  Polly Mertens: Can people find you?
• 1:21:38
  Polly Mertens: What is?
• 1:21:38
  Marc Cordon: the best way to get a hold of you and your Joy Revolution that you're up to?
• 1:21:41
  Marc Cordon: Yeah, just go to joyrevolutioncom.
• 1:21:41
  Marc Cordon: I've got my contact there.
• 1:21:42
  Marc Cordon: You'll get to see some of the things that we are up to.
• 1:21:46
  Marc Cordon: I only teach the course three or four times a year, so if you're interested in being one of those members, there will probably be a waitlist for it.
• 1:21:54
  Marc Cordon: If this is before May 24th, I've got a storytelling summit that's coming up.
• 1:22:02
  Marc Cordon: The tickets are for free and we're going to be talking about everything storytelling, like your legacy, how to tell your story on a TEDx and how to tell a story for social change.
• 1:22:15
  Marc Cordon: So you can either go to joyrevolutioncom or you can go to storytellersummitcom.
• 1:22:21
  Marc Cordon: That's May 24th.
• 1:22:24
  Polly Mertens: Sign me up for that.
• 1:22:25
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I think Samantha is going to be at that.
• 1:22:27
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, she's on the path of writing a memoir and books and stuff like that, so we've got to get her focused, all right, well, here's how we wrap up, mark.
• 1:22:42
  Samantha Pruitt: So Samantha and I have a little something that we tell our audience.
• 1:22:43
  Polly Mertens: So we're going to just do that, and then we will say peace out.
• 1:22:45
  Polly Mertens: So thank you for being with us, and, samantha, what do we want to remind our beautiful humans who've joined us today?
• 1:22:47
  Samantha Pruitt: Oh, this was just a prime example of what we always, or what I always say at the end.
• 1:22:51
  Samantha Pruitt: But how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.