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Transcript

Mark's 10am Monologue. · The Mark Simone Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Mr. New York.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's Mark Simone on WOR. Hey, what's hour number two?
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: That's right. If you just joined us, you missed the
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: first hour. It's three hours every day. If somebody still
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: doesn't know that, three hours every day. We start at
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: 9 a.m. now. It's 9 a.m. till noon every day.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: A lot to get to. We'll get to SNL. We'll
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: get to AOC. We'll get to AI. And we'll get
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: to Crazy Mom Donnie and a whole lot more coming up. So, hey,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: I mentioned this before. The White House briefing room is
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: where the press secretary comes out and they got a
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: lot of seats there. It's like a theater seating. And
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: every day they have the briefing and this is where
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: the press gets to ask all these questions. And the president,
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: now we don't know if this is a real plan
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: or he's just taunting people. Sometimes he does this just to,
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: you know, like a mischievous kid in the zoo, you know,
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: throws something at the cage. just to rile up the
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: tiger in there. So we don't know if this is
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: what this is all about, but he's talking about tearing
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: out the briefing room. The briefing room is where the
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: White House pool used to be. They had a big
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: swimming pool in the White House, and they covered it
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: over and built the press briefing room. Now, you say, well,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: you have to have a briefing room. You have to
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: have a press briefing every day. Yeah, normally that's the case,
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: especially with Joe Biden, because nobody ever got to talk
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: to him or see him. So every day, that's the
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: only place you could ask questions. You could find out
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: what was going on with the president. You could go
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: to the daily briefing. It's usually about one o'clock and
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: then you could talk to, you could ask any question
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: to the press secretary. So it's a very vital thing,
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: these press conferences. But with President Trump, you really don't
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: need it because he talks to the press himself all
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: day long. Every five minutes, he's holding his own briefing.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: So if you got any questions, Even when he's meeting
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: with a big world leader in the Oval Office, he
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: lets all the press come in. Even the cabinet meetings,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: he lets all the press come in. So, he doesn't
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: need the briefing room. But when he leaves, you're going
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: to get another president who might not like that. They
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: might go back to the old system where they never
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: talked to the press, except once in a while, just
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: once in a while, the press comes. So, he wants to...
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: get rid of the briefing room, tear the floor back up,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: and there's a pool under there. And he wants to
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: build the pool. If you go to his Truth Social,
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: he's put up a picture for what he wants to build.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: And you say, that's great. Swimming pool. Oh, it's beautiful.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: But look at this pool. The pool looks great, but
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: the walls have these arches with the gold all over it,
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: the ceiling. You know, he's got this thing with gold. Normally,
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: He's very stylish when it comes to, I mean, dressing.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: It's a conservative businessman dressing. His plane is helicopter conservative,
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: black with white letters. But when it comes to a room,
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: he's like Liberace all of a sudden. Look at this
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: gold everywhere. It's very ornate, but it's a swimming pool.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: You want to just swim. And if you ever see
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: the Ritz in Paris, the Ritz, not the Ritz Carlton,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: the Ritz Hotel in Paris, they got a swimming pool
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: that looks like this. The problem is it looks like
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: you're swimming in the middle of a ballroom. It's ridiculous.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: It's not a good swimming. Yeah, it's all gold and
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: very formal. A good swimming pool shouldn't look like that.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: So I don't know if he wants to really build this.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: I don't think he's ever gone swimming in his life,
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Donald Trump. So it's not for him. It could just
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: be to just taunt the media with the press ban. Yeah,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: even the press ban. He knows at some point somehow
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: you're going to have to let him back in just
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: to taunt them. just to rile them all up. The
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: war in Iran, this will be used as a big
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: midterm issue. You know, if you were watching all the
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: left-wing commentators, watching that, everyone said Robert Moses on Channel 5,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: very left-wing biased. So he said, as the war drags
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: on for seven months now, he altered the program, seven
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: months of the war, the seven-month war, this is the seventh,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: we're now in the seventh month of the war. He
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: forgets to mention the war was actually 12 days. It's not,
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: It's not a real conventional war. It's a strange sort
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: of a war. Massive bombing for two days, and then
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: we take a month off. Then there might be 20
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: minutes of bombing, and then we take a month off.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: So it's seven months, but the war has actually only
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: been 12 days. We're not in Iran. We're not on
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: the ground in Iran. We're not even firing a shot
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: for weeks on end. You know, Vietnam, every day they're
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: sloshing through the jungle. Iraq, every day they're fighting in
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: the desert, in the streets. You know, nobody would have
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: minded Vietnam if we bombed for a day or two
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: and then said, yeah, we're taking the month off. We'll
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: see you in November. It wouldn't have been so bad,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: but this is... Big election issue. The president on Iran.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: What they want to do is immediately open the Hormuz Strait.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: You know why?
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: Because they're dying. You know why they're dying? Because they
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: have no money coming in. Yeah, the only thing that
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: really affects is the Strait of Hormuz being closed. And
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: that happens in every war. It happened in the tanker
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: wars years ago. It happened in the Iraq war. They
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: closed the Strait of Hormuz. Although it's not totally closed.
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: It's half open and has been for most of the time.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: It's been half open. First month, it was entirely closed,
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: but it's half open. The southern route, which goes along Oman,
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: is open. Tankers are moving through there every day. We've
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: been moving about 7 million barrels of oil a day
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: through the Strait of Hormuz. Normal, before the war, would
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: have been 20 million, but there's still some oil coming
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: through there. Also remember, it's been a few months now,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: probably in a year, in about seven, eight months, there
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: will be no more need for the Strait of Hormuz.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: All those countries, Gulf countries, have decided they don't want
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: to ever depend on the Strait of Hormuz again. So
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: as we speak, they're building pipelines to take all the
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: oil other ways, to take it to other ports and
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: won't need the Strait of Hormuz anymore. Within just, let's say,
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: two years, within two years, we'll never need the Strait
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: of Hormuz again for anything. And again, we don't get
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: any oil from the Strait of Hormuz. We produce all
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: our own oil now here in America. The president, when
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: he came in, opened up drilling everywhere. We not only
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: produce all our own oil, we produce twice as much
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: oil as we could ever need. And so we export
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: oil all over the world. We're the biggest exporter in
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: the world right now. Now, one of the problems, well,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: why is diesel up? Well, that's the Ukraine war. Zelensky
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: has been hitting the diesel refineries in Russia, hurting the
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: diesel supply. That's one reason. The other reason we don't
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: have enough refineries is they opened up the drilling so
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: that we produce Massive amounts of oil. We don't have
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: the refineries to process all that oil. Refinery, starting decades ago,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: started to get treated like nuclear plants. Nobody wanted one.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: They can't open them. They blocked them all. So the
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: last time we opened a refinery was the 1970s. So
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: we got to increase that refinery capacity. Once the war ends, though,
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: once the war ends, you'll see the price come tumbling down.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: They get their money from the harmless trade.
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, and that's the other point. Iran is totally
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: dependent on the Strait of Hormuz for their economy. That's
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: all their revenue, Strait of Hormuz. So with it closed
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: for seven months now, they've had no revenue for seven months.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: They get their money from the Hormuz Strait. So they
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: outsmarted themselves.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: They said, let's close it and.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: Cause a problem for the world. And then I came
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: along and we.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Put up the greatest blockade ever in military history.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: It's a wall of steel. Well... Actually, it is, and
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: that's why they're able to use what they call the
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: southern route, the half that's along the Oman coast. We've
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: also gotten rid of all the mines. They're all gone now.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: So let me get this name right. Jalen Brunson. I'm
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: not a basketball fan. I never saw a basketball game
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: in my life until these Knicks playoffs. Jalen Brunson, guest
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: host of Saturday Night Live. Now, they say the way
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: to know if you're getting old, if you're getting old
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: when you no longer know who these musical guests are
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: on Saturday Night Live. You know, it used to be,
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: who's the musical guest? It used to be Elton John. Oh, well,
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: Paul McCartney. Now you see musical guests, you don't know
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: who the hell they are. They say you're getting really
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: old when you don't know who the hosts are. And
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: be honest, half the time, whoever the host of Saturday
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: Night Live is, I don't know who the hell it is.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Jason Brunson, and he did a very good job hosting SNL.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: This was a big deal. And it was pretty funny.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: It's great to be here. I'm very excited.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: You guys can probably tell by my voice and face.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: But tonight, I'm going to approach the host in the
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: same way I approach the next finals game. So the
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: first three quarters of the show are going to be god-awful.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: The last sketch is going to be amazing. Okay, well,
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: the usual Saturday Night Live format is the cold opening
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: is the big one. Then they usually have one good sketch,
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: and the whole rest of the show, the sketches stink.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: You don't know what the hell they're talking about. Although
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: this cold opening was all on Mom Donnie, making fun
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: of Mom Donnie. And they did go after him. Now,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: most of it was Mom Donnie and Trump together. 98%
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: of the jokes were about Trump. But they did take
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: a couple of shots at Mom Donnie. And they did
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: make fun of the fact that he didn't do much,
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: that he was basically just tick-tocking his way through the mayoralty. And...
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: then they made a joke about in the middle of
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: this nor'easter with flooding with the chaos and terrible emergency
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: in the city what was he doing tick-tocking about it
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: just tick-tocking so uh and we've told you that you
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: know a lot of people are very worried about mom
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: donnie and what he's going to do to new york
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: The good news is the guy does nothing. He does
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: absolutely nothing. He TikToks. He smiles. He makes a speech.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: He waves. He TikToks. He waves. He smiles. That's basically it.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: He's not a courageous guy. He's kind of a coward.
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: And he doesn't say anything and everything. But he doesn't
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: actually try to do anything. And he's not a hard worker.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: He's not a management guy. So basically, he just talks
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: and doesn't do much. That's the good news. The biggest
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: thing is crime. The police commissioner... Jessica Tisch, everybody likes her.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: They want her to stay. Crime is doing pretty well.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: It's not as well as you think. You keep hearing
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: the lowest crime numbers in history. Yeah, that's the murder rate.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: That's due to the murder rate dropping like crazy. Rape
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: is up. There's been a spike in rape. There's a
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: spike in robbery and a spike in subway crime. So
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: that's still the problem. And not necessarily the fault of
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Jessica Tisch. They just shorthanded it. They've not hired new classes.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: They've not brought in people. So we're thousands and thousands
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: of officers short in the NYPD. But it's pretty good.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: There is crime, but it's basically in eight precincts. If
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: you're walking around here in the middle of Manhattan, it's
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: just fine. Everything's just fine. The homeless stuff is getting
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: out of control. Homeless camps are... There are huge ones
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: in the city, and they're not doing enough to clean
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: them out. You know, they come in one day and
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: pick up everything in even the tents, and the next
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: day they're back. The other thing is the mayor is
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: very against arresting prostitutes. So they're not busting prostitutes. Now,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: I can understand doing that during UN week. They're needed
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: by these UN idiots, but that's over with. But prostitution
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: busts are down 60%. Almost 65%, actually. There's a place
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: in Queens, Roosevelt Avenue, which they call the Market of Sweethearts.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: You see these women? They don't exactly look like sweethearts,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: but you know what they mean. It's just all prostitutes.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: It's a million hookers. Now, you might say, eh, so what?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Why do you have to go after prostitutes? Or you
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: might say, yeah, some people might like her there. Market
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: of hookers all over. Yeah, but there are people that
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: live there. It's a residential area, too. And you can't
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: have that. So Zoran Mamdani has kind of told the
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: cops to leave them alone. Don't bother them. So it's
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: just out of control. The prostitutes all over the place. Obviously,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: the neighbors can't stand this. They hate it. But he
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: was getting attacked a little. Good for him. Good for SNL.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: I think maybe the only time in 10 years they've
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: made a joke about a Democrat, but all right. Good
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: for them. This is season 52 of Saturday Night Live.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: 52 years of Saturday Night Live. And Lorne Michaels, this
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: is unheard of, still the producer. He's like 85 now.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Usually when you, especially a show like that where you're
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: supposed to be young, cutting-edge comedy, usually when you hit 50,
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: they're pushing you out the door for a younger a
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: younger voice, a younger guy, but he's still there. Very
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: powerful guy at NBC. Hey, speaking of anniversaries, it was
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: 72 years ago last night. Last night was the 72nd
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: anniversary of The Tonight Show. It was 1954. Steve Allen,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: who I used to work with for years, he and
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I used to do a daily radio show together for
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: about three years. Steve Allen, 1954, 72 years ago, created
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: The Tonight Show. And it was considered weird, different, revolutionary
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: at the time. Nobody ever seen anything like that. They
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: had comedy shows with a sketch and writers. They never
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: saw a guy just ad lib, just walk into the
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: audience and talk to them, just sit there and ad
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: lib and do stuff like that. And it was so different,
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: it caught on quickly and it became huge. The Steve
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Allen Tonight Show. It wasn't even called the Tonight Show.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: It was just called Tonight with Steve Allen, 1954. And then,
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: of course, it was Jack Parr for five years. Johnny
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Carson for 30. Jay Leno for about 22 years. Conan
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: O'Brien for a couple of weeks. And then Jimmy Fallon.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: He's actually been there a long time now. How long?
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: It's about 12 years. Yeah. Now, of course, the show
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: has About one quarter, about 25% of the viewers it
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: used to have. But Steve Allen started that. He had
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: no idea it would become the most important, greatest institution
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: in television. But 72-year anniversary, pretty amazing. Hey, we'll take
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: some calls next. 800-321-0710 is the number. We like new callers, too,
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: if you haven't called before.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: 800-321-0710.