Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why narcissists stop Love Bombing you and take away the love

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Why narcissists stop Love Bombing you and take away the love · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists stop love
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  bombing you. Why they take away the love.
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  Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back, folks. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Why does the love bombing stop? Why?
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  Setting. Setting off the love bomb.
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  Why do they stop love bombing? Why do they take the love away
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  and whatnot? Yeah, yeah, this is a tough
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  thing to talk about because I know what a lot of people are
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  going to say. Y'all.
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  Just seen the title of the video.
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  Come to leave a comment, just say Lee appreciate the stuff,
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  but narcissists cannot love signed yours truly the empath
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  like the Phantom of the Empath of the Opera.
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  The Phantom is here. Yeah, but yeah, that's what
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  happens. But I do believe there's a lot
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  of narcissistic people can't do have the ability to give you
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  some love. It might not be just that in
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  authentic, long lasting, genuine love, but they can give you
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  spurts or love. And typically the biggest spurt
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  is in the beginning. A lot of people refer to it as
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  the love bombing phase, the idealization phase, you know?
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  But wait, what in A lot of people would describe the love
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  bombing phase as the greatest time ever with the narcissist
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  greatest time. They probably a lot of sick
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  people would say the greatest time they had in their entire,
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  you know, the greatest relationship dynamic that they
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  had in their life. I've never experienced anything
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  like this before. I've never felt that way before
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  about anybody. I've never been treated that
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  way. This is everything I've been
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  asking for. That's that's the type of stuff
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  that I hear when I'm doing my zoom coaching on one on one's
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  and things of that nature that that's the type of stuff that I
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  typically hear, right. But what I tell people is that
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  it's not sustainable. Love bombing is not sustainable,
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  you know. You know what I get a lot of
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  people to ask me is that why does it stop?
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  Why do narcissists take the love away?
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  Why do they stop love by me? What sets off the love bomb?
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  And the simplest thing, Yeah, the simplest thing.
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  There's a few different reasons, but the simplest one is going to
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  be that they give some narcissists just get bored.
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  Yeah, And they they they think there is better out, better for
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  them out there. You know, a lot of narcissists
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  suffer from chronic boredom. You know, it's like it's, you
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  know, it's part of who they are. They just always, it's it's
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  inevitable that they're going to get bored in a relationship.
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  And there I'm not. This is not me calling you a
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  boring person because a lot of people perceive, a lot of people
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  hear me. When I say that, they
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  automatically think I'm calling them a boring person.
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  That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying that you are a
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  boring person. I'm saying that narcissists get
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  bored very easily. Is extremely easy to for a
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  narcissist to get bored, right? It's extremely easy for that
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  person to be as bored as they possibly can get in any of these
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  spaces, right? And then when they get bored,
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  they they just start to look at you different.
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  You can't make this person happy.
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  Nothing they do with you is fun anymore, or as fun as it used to
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  be. So they take the love away
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  because they blame you. It can't be something.
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  It can't be me, right? You're just boring.
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  Some of them might call you boring.
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  Some of them would say we just lost the spark.
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  Some of them would just say thank we've grown apart.
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  You know, it's been, it's been two months, you have grown apart
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  somehow, you know, but that's how it goes.
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  That's the mindset, that's the inner workers of some narcissist
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  mind to be able to tell you that, hey, we've grown apart in
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  the last two months that we've been together.
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  It was started off hot and heavy, but now it's it's cold
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  and it's it's cold and light, hot and heavy with the cold and
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  light. So they take the love away,
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  right? They really do take the love
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  away and they stop loving you. And the love bomb kind of goes
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  off. And then they don't always leave
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  you alone. They don't always they'll.
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  They'll keep you around. Y'all they will keep you around
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  as long as some type, they're getting something from you.
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  Because some of them also think that they own you and they
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  become obsessed with you as well.
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  But they keep you around because they fall out of love with you
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  or they take the love away. Doesn't mean that they'll get
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  rid of you. They'll physically stay with
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  you. They just don't care about you
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  as much as they used to, you know?
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  And another reason y'all why is because da, da da, whatever
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  supply that they get from you, they feel like they can either
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  get it from somewhere else or you they can't get enough from
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  you. Whatever supply that they're
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  getting from you cut it off. If you want to get rid of them,
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  of course. But whatever supply that they're
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  getting from you, it runs. It has run, its course is run,
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  is kind of run dry. The river, the river of supply
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  has run dry. That's what happens a lot of
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  times in the toxic relationship dynamics.
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  The river of supply, whatever they get from you has run dry.
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  If it's financial, supply is run out.
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  They're not getting as much money from you, you know, if
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  it's, if it's intimacy, they're not getting the cheek clapping,
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  isn't isn't. The cheeks aren't clapping like
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  they used to, You know, that could be a part that could be
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  part of a reason as well. You know, that's part of it.
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  What goes into it, that's part of the dynamic or part of the
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  space that people fall into right there with narcissists is
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  that, you know, whatever supply do they have, they get from you
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  running out. It's emotional.
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  It could be emotional supply, work supply, they they could be
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  taking advantage of you. Some narcissists are absolutely
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  out there trying to take advantage of you in any way,
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  shape or form. That's what they're that's what
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  they're trying to do. So if they can't take advantage
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  of you that supply this kind of sinister supply, did they get is
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  running, has run out, you know this, this, this sinister supply
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  that they get from you has run its course.
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  So they just, they tend to disappear on you.
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  They tend to to stop love by me. They take the love away so to
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  speak, you know. And that's how it goes right
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  there. It's that's what happens to a
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  lot of people in these relationship spaces like
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  whatever supply that they're getting from you has run out.
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  It's run its course. You know, I keep saying, you
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  know, that's why I keep catching myself.
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  I'm self aware. I'm enough of myself to keep to
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  catch my, like, catchphrases. When I say I'm like, I keep
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  saying, you know, I said it again, you know, quote my quote
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  myself again. But that's what happens, you
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  know? Oh my goodness.
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  I gotta stop saying that. Get this gracious, that's that's
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  killing me. That's killing me.
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  I was about to say it again but I quote myself and the next
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  reason I'll go over y'all is that they see your
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  imperfections. In my mini course I refer to
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  these as flaws. I do have a mini course that
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  goes into great detail about why a narcissist picked you in the
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  1st place, why the love bombing stopped, why they didn't Hoover
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  you, why they did Hoover you. Is this the final discard?
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  What happened in the relationship is the mini course
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  link is in the the description of every video and podcast that
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  I do. You know you can check that out.
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  But down below it says courses and community that has support
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  groups as well. But they see your imperfections
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  during the first phase of a toxic relationship, right?
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  Narcissist idealize you. They when they're in love by me,
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  you they think that you are perfect for them like you are
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  perfect for me. That's what they think.
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  They see you as perfection. They absolutely see you as this
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  perfect person. So they want to treat you like a
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  perfect person. They want to want you to be
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  around them like a perfect person.
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  They want you to be a mesh into their life because they think
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  you're a perfect person. Narcissists do not think they
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  themselves are perfect. I think a lot of people think
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  that, but not a lot of narcissists hate themselves.
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  Internally, they really do. A lot of narcissists absolutely
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  internally do not like themselves.
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  They do not think that they're good enough.
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  So if they find somebody that they they think is perfect, good
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  for them, you know, I found, I know I'm not a perfect person,
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  but I found someone that is, and this perfect person is mine.
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  So I'm going to treat this perfect person so good that they
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  will never leave me alone, right?
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  I'm going to love bombing this. I'm going to get this perfect
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  person. They make me feel good.
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  So I'm going to give them some stuff as well, You know, I'm
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  going to give them some stuff. They make me feel good by
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  myself. So I'm going to, I'm going to go
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  above and beyond to make this person feel good about
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  themselves, because that happens quite a bit.
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  Y'all this part of that space. They they are loved by me.
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  You because you make them feel good about themselves.
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  They are giving you everything that you want because they are
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  getting what they want from you. You go back to their supply
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  party. They look at you as perfect.
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  There's nothing you can do, no wrong in their eyes until you
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  do. Until they see that perfection
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  kind of slip away from you, until your imperfections start
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  the show. You start the show that you are
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  a human being. Well, Lee, everybody's flawed in
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  some way, shape or form. Yes.
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  Yeah, I yeah, I know that everybody is flawed in some way.
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  I understand that because I'm a grown man.
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  I understand I'm a grown man that happens to have
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  narcissistic personality disorder that is also in
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  psychotherapy dealing with it. So I understand that everybody
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  has their own imperfections and flaws and whatnot, but when a
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  narcissist sees it, they just start seeing you in a different
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  light. They can't see you.
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  They can't see you the same way anymore.
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  I can no longer, you know, I can no longer justify in my mind
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  treating you like a perfect person if I no longer see you as
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  said perfect person, right? I can no longer justify.
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  So if why would I treat you like a perfect person if you're not a
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  perfect person for me? If you're not a perfect, if
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  you're not actually perfect. Bully.
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  What about what Flaws? Yeah, your flaws could be you
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  saying the word no. Your imperfections could be you
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  saying the word no because they're going to take that as as
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  rejection you. They're not used to you
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  rejecting them or feeling rejected around you because it
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  could be as simple as you saying the word no.
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  It can be as simple as you saying you're not interested in
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  something or you don't want to go somewhere with them or you
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  don't want to hang with them in the night.
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  They take that as you not being perfect because you you are, you
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  are super available to them. We all first started dating,
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  right? We all first got together.
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  You were super available to them.
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  But now this one time, you're not, you're not available.
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  So they look at you different. They value you different.
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  Now you're not a perfect person, so they don't treat you as such.
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  The love bombing is going to stop because they don't view you
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  the same anymore. And like I said, you cannot
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  stop. Y'all you are like, I know that
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  not everybody's perfect. They don't take this as me
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  trying to disrespect you, but they're going to treat you a
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  certain type of way, right? Right.
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  They really are. They're going to treat you a
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  certain type of way because they feel a certain type of way.
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  They when they saw you as good, they treated you good, but now
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  they saw you as bad. So they're going to treat you
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  bad. They might keep you.
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  Like it doesn't mean that they're going to get rid of you.
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  It just mean they're going to love you less or take the
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  they're going to take a lot of the love away.
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  It's no longer a love bomb. It's just now it's just going to
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  feel different. It's not going to be as intense.
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  It's not going to be as euphoric.
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  It's not going to have that intoxicating feeling anymore.
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  They're not going to do that, like because they don't feel
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  like they need to again. Y'all, They could just stop love
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  bombing you because it's it's run its course, of course, you
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  know, it's just they're just tired and they feel like they
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  don't. They put enough work in.
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  They just like, OK, now I'm tired.
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  I've put enough work in to get you.
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  Now I have you. I don't think I should work hard
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  to work hard anymore. So that's how a lot of them will
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  get you. They just feel like they once
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  they put enough work in at the beginning on the front end, they
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  feel like they don't have to work as hard on the back end.
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  You know, I put enough work in, I put in work, I put in work.
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  So I shouldn't be expected to do anything else.
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  Gotcha. Gotcha is going to get you.
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  That's exactly how they get you right there.
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  They feel like they put in enough work up front to to the
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  point where they they don't feel like they have to do anything
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  else on the back end anymore. So you have to be prepared for
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  that as well. Y'all, because once I and I say
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  this in my I say this in my mini course as well.
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  I go, I go way more in depth than the mini course.
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  But I say this as well, that once the love bomb goes off, the
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  relationship will never ever be the same again.
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  And I know people don't really want to hear that, but it's the
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  truth. Once that love bomb goes off,
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  and once they start looking at you differently, it will never,
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  ever be the same. You will always be, like I said,
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  especially if you stay with them, you will always be trying
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  to get back to the beginning. So, like some narcissists don't
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  understand, y'all I would say a lot of narcissists don't
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  understand why they're looking looking at you different.
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  They just look at you different. I just have a deeper
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  understanding. I'm just more conscious of it
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  right now. But a lot of narcissists that
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  people don't know why they're doing it, so they're just, you
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  know, some of them will try to keep you around.
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  They will keep you around. It's like, oh, I just, you know,
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  maybe I could just keep doing this and maybe just it'll
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  restart the fire in our relationship, but it never goes
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  back to being the same again. Y'all, and that's me right
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  there. Just speaking to you, being
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  realistic. But anyways, y'all thank you for
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  tuning into another episode. I truly appreciate every single
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  one of y'all. Make sure you subscribe to the
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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  Peace.