Latest / The Delicious Culture with Jon Francois / Love Is Blind Season 10 is Delicious w/ Jackie Dorman

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Love Is Blind Season 10 is Delicious w/ Jackie Dorman · The Delicious Culture with Jon Francois

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Delicious, grab a plate and taste the delicious
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culture. I'm your host, John Francois. We are
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feasting on food, pop culture, lifestyle, love
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is blind season 10, all the good things with
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relationship expert, Jackie Dorman. Hi, Jackie.
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Hi, it's so great to be here. I'm excited. Yeah,
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isn't this great? So, so many things to talk
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about. Let's start with the three questions that
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anchor this podcast. First up, what is a delicious
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meal that you've had lately? Well, we just went
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out for my daughter's birthday to this spot only
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had like three tables inside and a very, very
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long waiting list. And so it tells you how good
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the food is, right? But they specialize in this
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smash burger that has this really spicy relish
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on it and this amazing focaccia. So I just had
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that on Monday night. So that's probably what's
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uppermost in my mind, especially the focaccia.
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It had this honey butter that had like this kick
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to it. And it was just, I mean, I could have
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eaten, I could have eaten a hundred pieces of
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it for sure. Oh my God, that sounds delicious.
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So Smashburger, what defines a Smashburger? Is
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it just like the size of the meat? Is it just
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like how many things you can pack onto a burger?
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Like what defines it? I think what defines it,
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not a culinary expert, friends, but that they're
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really thin patties. And so like Smashburger,
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so like the way they cook the meat, they like
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smash it down, make it really thin. It's like
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a really thin piece of beef. I think that that
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is probably what defines it. So there's two different,
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really thin patties, and then there's cheese,
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of course, and then this beautiful, amazing relish
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that they home -make there. And it was delicious.
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So I'm based in Vermont. You're based in Austin,
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Texas right now. Is that a burger that is specific
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to Austin? Is that something that you can get
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anywhere around the country, maybe? I think you
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can get it anywhere. I think smash burgers are
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everywhere. I think that they're something that
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people really love. But I've had them in different
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states. I travel a lot. So I know that there
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are other places besides here. But Austin really
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is the food tour. People are sleeping on Austin.
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Foodies, you would love Austin, Texas. We have
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everything and highly rated, highly rated culinary
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experiences here. Yeah, from what I know of Austin,
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I know the South by Southwest Festival. I know,
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of course, Joe Rogan has his podcast there. And
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I think I've heard a little bit about the food
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culture there. Why do you think people sleep
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on Austin so much? Because I think that people
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think So they think Texas food. So like whatever
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you think of when you think of Texas, like barbecue,
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what else would you think? Tex -Mex, of course,
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but we have everything here. We have some amazing
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Asian restaurants. We have French restaurants.
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Like I gained 30 pounds when I moved here. I've
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lived here for eight years and it's because we
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call it the food tour. My husband and I, we ate
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at all these different restaurants, different
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cuisines. Every time our friends come in town,
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they're like, hey, I heard about this one restaurant.
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Can we go? And so we're always eating out. these
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amazing places. Yeah. Yeah. Would you say the,
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the, the burger kind of cuisine like, but you
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just described, is that your favorite kind of
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cuisine or do you, do you have a, another preferred
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cuisine? I have some friends that are true foodies
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and I love dining with them because they make
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dining an experience. They're from Portugal and
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they're like, Jackie, this is the way that you
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eat. And we usually eat in different courses
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and I'm trying things I've never tried before,
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but I do like American food. It was my daughter's
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birthday. She loves American food. She loves
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burgers and that kind of thing. So that's definitely
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one of the things that we love, for sure. Love
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that. So something on a burger I've never had
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before. I think you said you had honey butter
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on this burger. No, that was on the focaccia
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that came on the side. It was like a honey butter,
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but it had like a spiciness to it. It was really
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interesting. I have no idea what a focaccia is.
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Can you explain that to me? It's like a, it's
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like a, it's bread. Focaccia is bread, but this,
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this focaccia was really, it was grilled and
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it was crispy. So it was crispy on the outside
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and really soft on the inside. I'm probably making
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everyone everyone knows what focaccia is is like
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drooling right now But it was perfectly done
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like in a skillet type of situation with this
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butter and it was amazing Okay, okay burger with
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a side of the focaccia bread that you mentioned
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I mean I know that you know bread in itself can
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be like sort of an appetizer before the main
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dish but Served like a side with the burger like
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it's a like it's fries that that's a new thing
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to me I've never heard of that before that sounds
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delicious Yeah, I don't think it was supposed
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to come together, but that's just what I ordered
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so So I ordered the bread and and then the burger
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came out pretty quickly So yeah, and yeah, it
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did have fries some garlic aioli fries. They
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were delicious as well But yeah, so that's just
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my recent. I mean, I'm eating great things I
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really am loving homemade popcorn at home and
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coconut oil with grass -fed butter right now
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That is a treat for me. So we've been making
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a lot of that but we do love to eat. I will tell
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you that. Oh my god. Homemade popcorn. Now I'm
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going to feel bad because I just buy the pre
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-made Oroville Redenbacher popcorn. Like my thing
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right now is... Okay. Okay. Okay. Tell me why
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that popcorn is wrong. Go ahead. Go ahead. Well,
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I've heard the news on the street is that that
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popcorn might have some chemicals in it that's
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not so good for you. But, you know, the old fashioned
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way, because I was a kid in the 80s. I was a
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teenager in the 90s. But in the 80s, when I was
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a kid making popcorn, you know, in the pot with
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the lid over the fire and constantly moving it,
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that was a thing of my childhood. And so I love
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making popcorn that way. I should say I love
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my husband making popcorn that way, and it's
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delicious. I usually have him do it. So, okay,
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if I get this correctly, like the kernel corn
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that I see in the grocery store that's made for
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homemade popcorn, you get that and then you add
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all your ingredients. I mean, how long does it
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take to make homemade - You cook it in coconut
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oil. So that's the oil that I cook it in, is
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coconut oil. And then you start hearing it pop.
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And as soon as you start hearing those first
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kernels pop, you got to keep moving it fast.
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You got to pay attention because it's going to
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pop really quick. You don't want it to burn because
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there's nothing worse than the smell and the
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taste of burnt popcorn, right? And so getting
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that off the burner, there's gonna be some kernels
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that are not all the way pop, that's fine. And
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then when it's still warm, getting that grass
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-fed butter and then sometimes some Italian seasoning
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on it is what I like to do. And it's delicious.
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That is a special popcorn experience. And the
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coconut oil, what is adding in the coconut oil
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do to the popcorn? I just, I mean, it's healthier.
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It's a healthier oil. We don't cook it at too
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high of a heat. And I just think that I like
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the taste. If you like the taste, the light taste
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of coconut, which I do, that's why. You could
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also probably do avocado oil. I wouldn't do olive
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oil, but you could do avocado oil. It's delicious.
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So, and how long does it take to make homemade
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popcorn compared to the pre -made popcorn that
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we know so well? I mean, you know, the pre -made
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is like three, three or four minutes in the microwave.
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And I think the homemade is probably only, it's
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probably less than 10. So it's worth it. Wow.
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So the Orville Rennbacher popcorn, I don't know
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if this is a bad thing, but usually it just takes
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a minute and a half in the microwave. I guess
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it depends on like the wattage. I think it depends
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on the wattage of the microwave, but like, yeah,
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10 minutes. That's not bad. 10 minutes for homemade
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popcorn. And for everything, prepping it, like
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putting the oil in the pan, melting the oil,
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putting the kernels in, putting the butter in
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at the end. I'd say, I'd say start to finish
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about 10 minutes. What is a delicious piece of
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pop culture that you've been consuming lately?
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This could be a TV show, movie, music, book,
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play, anything. And I know that we might talk
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about Love is Blind, and I definitely consumed
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that. It's part of my job to stay up on that.
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But I just literally binged over the last week.
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a new show called Age of Attraction. Have you
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heard this one? I've heard of it. Yeah. I've
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seen it shown up on the Netflix slides. Yeah.
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Tell me what the show is about. So it basically
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is strangers. Same as like, it's not blind, but
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you are blind on age. So you don't know you're
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not allowed to share your age. So strangers coming
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together, men and women, all different ages,
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a mix of all different ages of men and women.
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And then beginning to have these dates face to
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face in this controlled environment where you're
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getting to know you're seeing what you match
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on with people as far as personality and likes
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and dislikes and life experience. And then you're
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supposed to choose one of those people to go
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to this promise room with where you give each
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other a promise ring where you're going to, and
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you can decline, you can say yes or no to this
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pledge of promise. And then you go forward into
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that next stage of being a couple. And at that
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promise thing, after you decide yes or no, you
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tell your ages, right? during saying yes or no,
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you tell your ages. And then you go forward into
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the outside world of what does it look like to
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be a couple with this age difference. And some
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of these age differences were pretty shocking,
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both with the woman being older and the man being
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older. So we have like 30 age differences between
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a 27 year old girl and a 70 year old man, 60
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year old man, 60 and 27. And then we have a 55
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year old woman with a 32 year old. man, just
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a lot of really different May, December romance
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type of things. What's interesting is none of
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the couples picked anyone who was less than 10
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years in a 10 year window. And of course they
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could have because there are definitely people
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there that are more your peers, but they didn't
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gravitate towards each other. Is there a period
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like Love is Blind where these people don't see
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each other and they're speaking with each other
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or no? They see each other from the get go? They
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always see each other. They just don't know how
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old each other is. The thing that's missing,
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the thing that they're blind on is age. They
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don't know how old the people are. Now I'm a
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pretty good guess of age. And I will tell you,
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I think that women guess other women's ages really
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accurately, but what I saw from this experiment
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and I know this already because I'm a matchmaker
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and a dating coach that men are not a good gauge
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of women's ages and so a lot of times people
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say hey why is he talking to that woman that's
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too young for him a lot of times he may not know
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that that woman's as young as she is why is that
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guy talking to that woman that's so much older
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and a lot of times he might think she's 35 when
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she's really 50 I don't think men are as good
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a guessing age as women are hmm Um, I would imagine
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that if it was like, uh, you had mentioned like
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a really, it could be a really young woman and
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especially older man that it would be like very
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obvious to see, you know, okay, maybe you're
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like 75, 80 years old on the guy's side, something
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like that. But, uh, okay. So can you give me
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an example of like how far apart the guy is,
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or how wrong the guy is in guessing the age from
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the show? Like, what was, like, the most absurd
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example where the guy got it so completely wrong?
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I mean, in that example, he's 60. She ends up
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being 27. I think that he thought she was in
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her mid to later 30s. In his defense, she was
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really mature for her age, so she was carrying
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herself very maturely. And so, and they both
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were, you know, they were, you know, non -white
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people, so they were brown people, and a lot
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of times, you know, they were... saying funny,
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you know, little phrases in the show of, Hey,
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you know, we age better than other people do.
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And so that's why we can't tell each other's
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ages. But in one situation, I mean, the woman
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was very obviously I'm 51 years old. I knew that
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she was very obviously someone who's in her mid
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fifties. And this, this, the guy that shows her
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was in his twenties. And he thought that she
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was in her thirties. And I'm like, bro, come
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on, come on now. Come on. So would you say that
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men tend to judge women's age by their maturity
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and women tend to judge men's age by just looking
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at every facet of their physical appearance?
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Is that what we're aiming at? I think that women
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take in the entire picture. I think that we just
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have a better idea of nuance and we're more intuitive
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than men are. I think that men are looking at
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possibly the youthfulness of someone. the youthfulness
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of how they act and their personality. I think
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that that is what they're gauging more than they're
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gauging the actual lines on someone's face or
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the things that are dead giveaways. Like we always
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say, women, their face might look great, but
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their hands are gonna give away their age or
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their neck's gonna give away their age. But men
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don't know stuff like that. Women are the ones
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that know stuff like that. All right. Well, thank
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you. Age of Attraction. Yeah, I've seen it on
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Netflix and definitely have to put it in our
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queue. My wife and I's queue along with all the
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other dating shows that we've been watching.
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Love is Blind and Ultimatum and so on and so
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forth. I watched the Ultimatum as well. I feel
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like with Age of Attraction, it's going to be
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interesting to see how these people think they
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can overcome these huge age differences and stay
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together. Because of course, their families are
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not on board. Even worse than Love is Blind.
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met someone that I never saw before and got engaged
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to them. But at least, you know, we're more age
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appropriate. We're more peers in that experiment.
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In this experiment, we're talking about people
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that are old enough to be your mom or dad. Let's
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talk about the delicious events that has happened
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in your life lately. What positive thing has
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happened in your world, Jackie? I'm having so
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many delicious events. I have a new book coming
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out at the end of the month. So it's my third
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book. And I really feel like when you write a
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book, it's like kind of giving birth to a child.
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And so I have that coming up. And then my child,
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my son, who is our oldest child, he just turned
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30 in December. He is also the only one is not
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married and we are having the deliciousness of
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heading up to his wedding at the end of May.
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So we are in pre -wedding prep right now. We're
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really excited that he is getting married. Um,
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and who, you know, and the girl he's marrying
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and her family. And so it's just a beautiful
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time of family. Normally we travel a lot at this
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time of year for work, but we are staying close
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to home. Uh, just doing a lot of family stuff
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leading up to that. Now, what is the role of
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yourself as a mother in this? wedding planning
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of sorts, because I know that every parent can
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have their different experience with it. There's
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the parents that are hands off and they let their
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children do whatever they want that the parents
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that are like, I want to invite all these relatives
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and maybe you should, you know, have this setting
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over here and this table over there. Like, what
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kind of parent would you describe yourself and
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in your in your son's wedding as he's planning
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it? Well, the good news is, is that because it's
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my son, I don't have to plan any of it. So I
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love that. The rehearsal dinner is the only thing
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the groom's parents are responsible for as far
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as planning. Um, but he's marrying an only child.
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His wife, his fiance, wife to be is an only child
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and she is having a big wedding. Um, I have two
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daughters that are already married. And so of
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course we planned those weddings and, um, both
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my daughters pretty much knew what they wanted.
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And I just really helped, uh, along the way along.
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with their friends and other women in our family.
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But this wedding. My son is, it's funny because
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we all laughed. It's funny that he would have
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the biggest wedding. So both of his sisters opted
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for small weddings. They didn't want to invite
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a lot of people, but his fiance is inviting over
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250 people to this wedding. So it's going to
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be the biggest wedding that any of us have ever
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even been to. And so it's going to be a fun time.
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So thankfully I don't have to do really anything
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except find my own dress and show up. Maybe this
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is a tradition that I'm not too aware of. So
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is it tradition that the parents play more of
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an active role in a daughter's wedding as opposed
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to a son's wedding? And okay, you're nodding
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your head. Why is that, if I may ask? I don't
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know why it is. I just know that traditionally
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in America, for most Americans, the bride's family
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is the one that throws the wedding. And the groom's
16:13
family throws the rehearsal dinner, maybe helps
16:16
pay for a honeymoon or something like that. But
16:20
the, the wedding is usually the father of the
16:23
bride, the mother of the bride. So I had two
16:25
of those because I have two daughters. So, um,
16:28
but once again, they both had really small weddings.
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And so my son is having this big 250 person wedding.
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Um, yeah. So I'm like, wow. Yeah, it's gonna,
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it's gonna be, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna
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be a fun time. And then they're going to go to
16:41
Fiji. afterwards. So so excited for them. But
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yeah, I'm glad that I don't have to be involved
16:46
in not just the the planning of that, but also
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the payday of that because that's gonna that's
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gonna be a big wedding. Oh, yeah, for sure. How
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is your son feeling about that giant wedding
16:56
that his fiance is putting together? Is he okay
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with it? Is he kind of like, oh, man, maybe we
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could like, economize here and there? Like, how's
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he feeling? I think he's excited about it. His
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fiance has a lot of friends, and my son has always
17:11
been kind of the nerd that was in his room drawing.
17:14
He's an artist. He's a designer. And so that
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big, huge social circle has never been his thing.
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But he's very friendly, and he's become outgoing
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in later years. And so I think he's excited for
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it. But if he was the one planning a wedding,
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he probably would have had a small wedding, just
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like his sister's, I bet. Yeah, yeah. My wife
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and I, we had maybe less than 100 people, like
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about 80 or so people at our wedding. And I think
17:41
originally the count was like 100, but as always,
17:44
like there are certain people that cannot show
17:46
up and that makes it a lot easier. But yeah,
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I mean, I think just the combination of like,
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we prefer... it as intimate of a wedding as possible.
17:56
And also we don't have much money. Like it just
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both. Yeah. Those two things go together. Yeah.
18:02
It works just wonderfully. And yeah. And for,
18:07
for people, for certain people that wanted to
18:09
invite like 25 guests, we just had to say, Ooh,
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yeah, maybe try one or two. I think that's catching
18:16
on ever since COVID, I see because, you know,
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obviously I'm part of the wedding industry in
18:20
the way of being a matchmaker and a relationship
18:22
coach, people having smaller and smaller weddings.
18:25
There are people that still have the huge weddings,
18:27
but a lot of people even elope now or they have
18:29
a courthouse wedding and then they have a party.
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Courthouse weddings are really popular right
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now where you dress up and you get a photographer
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and you get these beautiful courthouse pictures
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and then you have a reception even later, maybe
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even after the honeymoon. So people are doing
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things very differently than they used to do
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them. What kind of wedding did you have? I had
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a My original wedding we eloped sort of we had
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our our parents and our children because we're
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a blended family So we all had we had small children
18:57
when we got married and so our small children
18:59
and our parents were at our wedding it was in
19:01
a little chapel in Amish country and then ten
19:04
years later which was what we said we would do
19:06
on our tenth and our tenth anniversary we had
19:09
a vow renewal and we had a a bigger wedding of
19:12
like 75, 80 people that we were really close
19:15
to. But then I wore the dress and we did the
19:17
whole thing. And now we're going to be married
19:19
for 20 years. And so next year on our 20th, we
19:22
were talking about doing another vow renewal,
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maybe with our kids, our grown kids and their
19:26
spouses, possibly like in Hawaii or something.
19:30
What do you think about vow renewals? Is that
19:34
something that you strongly advise couples to
19:38
do in order to like reignite an energy in the
19:42
marriage that maybe gets lost after 10 or 20
19:45
years? Like, how do you go about talking about
19:47
a viral renewal process if a couple wanted to
19:50
ask you whether they should do it or not? I mean,
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I think that it's something you could do every
19:53
year. You don't have to have a party. You don't
19:55
have to buy a special dress. But my husband and
19:57
I have something we do at the end of every year
19:59
called the state of our union. So if the country
20:02
can have a state of the union, we can have a
20:04
state of our union. And so we just get, you know,
20:07
we get together and we go somewhere and we talk
20:10
about you know, our relationship and what worked
20:12
this year and what didn't and kind of where we
20:14
are and where we want to go in the future. And
20:17
I kind of think of that as a renewal, right?
20:19
Just renewing our desire to continue to build
20:25
and grow together, renewing our vows, so to speak,
20:30
our love for each other and our commitment to
20:31
one another. But as far as... inviting people
20:34
or doing something formal, even if it's just
20:36
the two of you. I don't think you have to do
20:37
that every year, but I think it'd be fun to do
20:40
it at landmark years. So possibly 10, 20, 30,
20:45
50. I've been to a lot of them and I think they're
20:48
very special, especially since a lot of people
20:51
don't stay married nowadays. I think that it's
20:54
right to celebrate marriage if you've been able
20:57
to continue to grow together and not apart. I
21:02
believe you have sparked, as a matchmaker, over
21:05
1 ,600 marriages. And what amount of those marriages
21:11
are still around? What amounts maybe aren't lasting
21:16
as long as you have mentioned? I know. I personally
21:19
know about a dozen divorces. So I know about
21:22
a dozen divorces. Most of those people divorced
21:24
in the first year and a half, I would say. And
21:27
to be fair, I think that most of those couples
21:29
were people that were told that they might be
21:31
rushing. and maybe they should slow down a bit
21:33
and take some more time to get to know one another.
21:35
And then I just found out today before I came
21:37
on the podcast that one of my brides that got
21:39
married in 23 actually passed away. So I just
21:42
found out that she passed away. So about a dozen
21:45
divorces and I know of at least one, I know of
21:49
two, one groom and one bride, different marriages
21:53
that have passed away untimely, very, very young.
21:58
Wow. I mean, you can tell me as much or as little
22:05
as you want, but was that passing, like, was
22:10
it unexpected? Was it already, like, seen coming
22:13
because they already had, like, this health issue
22:15
for some time? No, they were both unexpected.
22:18
So one was an accident and the other, both of
22:21
them, I think, were pretty unexpected. So yeah,
22:25
so, you know, you never, we never know. We never
22:27
know what life's going to hold. And so I am a
22:30
firm believer of, you know, let's get to the
22:33
good part. Let's get to the good part. Why save
22:36
the best things for later? I definitely believe
22:39
in living in the moment and that doesn't mean
22:41
being irresponsible, but it means understanding
22:44
that life is a gift and it's called the present
22:47
and making sure that you're not saving all the
22:49
good stuff for the future. It's called the present
22:51
for a reason because life Life is a gift every
22:54
day and we should be enjoying it. Sorry, I don't
23:03
mean to sound negative here. I'm just curious.
23:06
But what is a common reason for marriages not
23:10
lasting as long based on your experience? And
23:17
actually to balance that out, what is a common
23:21
reason you see the marriages, especially those
23:24
that you have put together, being successful?
23:27
So successful and non -successful, like what
23:29
are the common reasons for those happening? Yeah,
23:31
well, I should clarify that, you know, the 1600
23:33
plus people that we have helped to, you know,
23:36
meet, match and get married haven't all been
23:39
personally handpicked and match made. Some of
23:41
them have, but we have a program called Last
23:44
Year Single where marriage minded people come,
23:45
they meet each other, they get prepared for what
23:48
it looks like to be in marriage while they're
23:50
dating and meeting people. And so that's kind
23:52
of the secret sauce of our success to help people
23:54
do that hard work so that they can be clear on
23:58
what not just that they want to get married,
23:59
but what kind of person would they need to marry.
24:02
And so I think that marriages that don't last
24:03
long are marriages that are built on more of
24:06
the sea of chemistry. So infatuation type stuff.
24:10
And it's scientifically proven that infatuation
24:13
will not and cannot last longer than 14 months.
24:16
Meaning that within 14 months of knowing someone,
24:19
the new is going to wear off. The rose colored
24:21
glasses are going to come off and you're going
24:23
to see some things that you don't like. You're
24:25
going to see some things that are incompatible.
24:27
Those butterfly feelings of Just excitement are
24:31
going to wane, and you're going to be left with
24:33
what's really there. And so people that base
24:36
long -term commitments on short -term feelings,
24:39
not a good idea. That's why we need to really
24:42
be clear about what we want going forward and
24:44
what we need long -term. And so the C's, the
24:47
letter C's that are more important in me matchmaking
24:51
or me even being a dating or relationship coach
24:53
are the C's of compatibility, the C's of consistency,
24:57
the C's of communication, the C's of character.
24:59
There's so many C's that are more important than
25:01
chemistry, but a lot of people want chemistry
25:03
to drive the bus. in their romantic relationships.
25:07
It's like, but I don't feel a spark. Well, the
25:10
problem is, is that your nervous system sparks
25:12
because of dysfunctional things, because you
25:14
haven't healed it yet. And so we gotta deal with
25:17
what you're attracted to and what your type is,
25:20
especially if it's not healthy, before you go
25:22
out there sparking with people and then running
25:24
off and getting married. You know, I'm thinking
25:28
about my... connection to a matchmaker like 10
25:32
or 15 years ago. This was when I used to live
25:34
in Connecticut. I currently live in Vermont.
25:36
And this was like when I was like starting to
25:38
get into the dating scene. There was this matchmaker
25:40
that would hold these like speed dating and blind
25:43
dating events. And I would take part in that.
25:48
I mean, I found my wife through an online dating
25:50
app. So that's completely different. But I guess
25:53
I'm curious as to your backstory. Like how did
25:56
you get into the matchmaking and relationship
25:57
coach field? And also, what does your day -to
26:02
-day look like? Someone tells me they work out
26:06
at Home Depot. Okay. I have an idea what their
26:08
day to day looks like, but someone tells me that
26:10
they matchmake in their relationship coach. I'm
26:12
like, huh, like what's, what's, what's that nine
26:15
to five schedule looking like? I mean, it varies.
26:17
It looks different, um, depending on what I have
26:19
going on, but I got into this because I've always
26:22
been good at it. I've always been good at it.
26:24
I was the friend in school that you would give
26:27
the note to that would go to your crush and try
26:29
to hype you up and try to get them to like you
26:32
and, you know, go, go. Go with you is what we
26:35
used to say when I was in middle school and high
26:37
school. You will go together. We never really
26:40
specified where exactly, but we were gonna go
26:43
steady, you know, together. And so I've always
26:46
loved love. I helped 15 of my friends. So 15
26:49
of my personal friends, I helped in their relationships
26:52
and even match made them. So some of those people
26:55
I actually match made and they married those
26:57
people that I match made them with. So I've always
26:59
known that I was good at this. And then pandemic
27:01
is when I decided to do it. as not a hobby, but
27:05
as a profession. So during pandemic, in fact,
27:08
pandemic hadn't started yet. It was about to
27:10
start, but none of us knew it. And my mom had
27:12
just passed away. I was grieving. I was really
27:15
dissatisfied. Like a lot of times when we're
27:17
grieving, we'll take a deeper look at our life.
27:20
When someone passes, we're reminded how short
27:22
life is. And then we'll ask ourselves, am I doing
27:24
what I really want to do with my life? You know,
27:27
with however long I have on this earth? And so
27:29
I was thinking those types of thoughts. And I
27:32
just felt like... I had permission to do things
27:35
that I really enjoyed to do. And one of those
27:37
was this. And so I just put it out to my warm
27:40
audience on Facebook. Hey, I'm going to be teaching
27:43
this course. I'm going to call it married in
27:44
12 months or less. If you're a single and you
27:47
feel stuck in the area of relationships, you
27:49
know, come join my free course. And it just exploded.
27:51
And then a month later, we were all locked down
27:54
in pandemic, even though we didn't know it was
27:55
coming. And by October of that year, I was live
27:58
on the radio on 350 stations as the love guru.
28:02
And by January, of the next year, 21, I had my
28:05
first wedding. So nine months later, I had my
28:09
first wedding and then it's just snowballed from
28:11
there. So typical day of my life looks like I
28:13
get up, I'm married, I live in Austin, Texas.
28:16
I get up in the morning and I try to do some
28:19
form of healthy thing. Like, you know, go walk
28:22
or workout. I don't always do it. I should, but
28:24
I don't. And then I usually go straight to looking
28:28
at my emails, responding to things. Right now
28:31
I'm in a book launch, so a lot of my days look
28:33
like podcast interviews. Tomorrow I have to travel
28:35
to Dallas to be on a podcast, so sometimes traveling.
28:39
Going to in person into interviews. I've been
28:42
on the news a bunch of times just recently in
28:44
the last month or so because of Valentine's Day
28:46
and so media opportunities media interviews I
28:51
do some high -level matchmaking still So I do
28:54
higher level matchmaking with some of my personal
28:57
clients. I have a huge program called Last Year
28:59
Single that has, you know, that has served at
29:02
least 10 ,000 singles in the last five years.
29:05
And so managing that, managing my team, I have
29:07
a whole team of coaches that work for me. And
29:10
so I'm just a busy bee. What do you mean by high
29:12
level matchmaking? What's that compared to regular
29:15
matchmaking? So I, because I'm so busy right
29:18
now and because really my desire right now is
29:21
to get out that matchmaker mindset. I want everybody
29:25
to be able to become their own matchmaker. So
29:27
my new book is really heavy in the matchmaker
29:29
mindset. Don't be out there as a single thinking
29:32
like a burnout data. Think like a matchmaker
29:35
in order to be able to kind of help matchmake
29:38
yourself. And so helping people, because I can't
29:41
help every single person. No matchmaker can help
29:43
every single person, but I have a desire to help
29:45
people. And so putting out that book is my way
29:48
of doing that. So I'm focused on that. So I can't
29:51
really be focused on a lot of personal matchmaking,
29:53
but I still do take some private clients. They
29:56
have to fit a very specific criteria. I have
29:59
to really know that I can match make them without
30:02
a lot of heavy lifting on my part. So we have
30:04
a questionnaire, they fill it out. There's a
30:07
very specific type of client that I'm looking
30:08
for in this season, since I'm so busy. But I
30:12
have lots of other dating coaches that work for
30:14
me, relationship coaches that work for me. So
30:16
if they can't work directly with me, they can
30:18
work with someone else. And I do have an exciting
30:20
announcement of some more matchmaking opportunities
30:23
coming really soon in the summer through our
30:26
program. If we can't do it anymore, we've found
30:30
a way for more and more people to get access
30:32
to matchmaking. I can't say what it is quite
30:35
yet, but I will tell you. It is pretty cool.
30:40
Specific type of client. I'm hung on those words.
30:46
What would be the ideal clients that you could
30:49
see yourself? They have to have done the work.
30:51
They have to be really healthy. They have to
30:53
be out of their own way, you know, as far as
30:55
there's people that show up and they think that
30:57
all they're missing is a matchmaker. I can't
30:59
tell you how many people have been like, oh,
31:01
you're a matchmaker, matchmake me, but they don't
31:03
want to take a deeper look at why they're single,
31:05
why they haven't met anyone already about their
31:08
habits, about their schedules, about their capacity,
31:10
about their margins. People say they want a relationship,
31:12
but there's no room in their life for a relationship
31:14
or to build. build a relationship. And so this
31:16
questionnaire is very in depth about where they
31:18
are, what kind of work they've done, how they've
31:20
prepared for relationship and how relationship
31:23
ready they are. And so you take all these questionnaires
31:27
from all these clients and I would imagine that
31:31
you spend a day maybe two like looking at all
31:34
these questionnaires at once and just kind of
31:37
you know, seeing what, which ones match and which
31:40
don't. Is that, is that sort of the, the big
31:43
day that you do? Because I mean, I'm just imagining
31:45
that you're like Carrie Matheson from Homeland
31:48
and you have this like giant board of like, all
31:51
right, this terrace leads to that terrace. That's
31:53
so funny that you should say that. Cause I used
31:55
to have that. I used to have those boards back
31:58
in 21, 22, 23, when I did a lot more matchmaking.
32:01
Now I've built such an extensive community. We
32:04
have 25 meetup groups all over the country and
32:06
in Canada. These are places where our students
32:09
and our alumni, where our clients meet up in
32:11
person. We have leaders that run those single
32:14
city, call them single city groups in those other
32:17
cities and states and even countries. And so
32:20
we have an extensive community. I believe, and
32:23
this is one of my taglines, that somebody knows
32:25
somebody who knows somebody who knows your person,
32:28
right? In fact, somebody right now is having
32:30
lunch with their future spouse. And I believe
32:32
in six degrees of separation. I think that science
32:35
has been proven for the listeners that don't
32:37
know what that is. It just says that we're all
32:39
six people away from knowing everyone in this
32:41
eight plus billion person world. The problem
32:44
is, is that that science came out when I think
32:46
there was only six billion people in the world.
32:48
So I believe that we're even closer than six
32:51
degrees of separation. You might be more like
32:52
five or four from knowing everyone. And so really
32:56
understanding that and understanding how connected
32:59
you are and leveraging those connections is how
33:02
I matchmake. Because when I play back the tapes
33:04
on all of my matches, they're together, they're
33:07
matched, they're in love, they're getting married,
33:09
they're already married now. When we play back
33:11
the tapes and they get to know each other deeper
33:13
and deeper and deeper, start to share more and
33:16
more and more life stories, they realize that
33:18
they've crossed paths many times. They realize...
33:21
that they had a friend in common during college.
33:23
They realized that the brother of a cousin worked
33:27
at the same place as a sister. There's just all
33:29
kinds of touch points where there's similarities
33:31
where they could have met before they did, but
33:34
they just didn't. And one of the reasons why
33:36
they didn't, because I think we're missing the
33:38
village. And so what I do and everything that
33:41
I do is to bring back the village, to bring back
33:44
the community -based matchmaking of the old days,
33:47
because outsourcing your love life to an algorithm
33:50
is okay if you see it as a tool and not as your
33:54
matchmaker, because a lot of people do meet on
33:57
apps. But once again, we can really be helping
34:00
so many more people meet that are not having
34:02
success with technology if we will bring back
34:05
this kind of mindset. And I call it the matchmaker
34:07
mindset. So you've watched all of Love is Blind
34:10
season. You and your wife, you met on an app,
34:11
but do you guys have anything in common? Did
34:13
you guys find out that there's any touch points
34:15
between the two of you? Like what we had in common
34:17
when we first met? Like, did you find out that
34:20
you had any spaces in common or places in common
34:23
or people in common? Like, if you thought through
34:26
your life, was there any place where you're like,
34:28
man, we could have met, but we just didn't. Ooh,
34:31
that is a very good question. Well, I mean, well,
34:35
Vermont, where we live, it's, it's a state, but
34:37
it's basically known as one big, small town.
34:41
And I remember at the time I lived in a town
34:44
called Linenville and she lived in a town called
34:46
Island Pond before we both eventually got our
34:48
house here in Richford. And, uh, I had mentioned
34:51
like, Oh, I live in Linenville and she was saying
34:53
like, Oh yeah, yeah, I've gone there all the
34:55
time to eat with friends at restaurants and stuff
34:58
like that. So yeah, yes. You guys probably cross
35:01
paths, you know? You probably cross paths. My
35:05
husband's my neighbor. My husband was my neighbor.
35:08
That's how I met him. I don't know if I said
35:10
that or not. But he moved in next door to me.
35:12
We both had gone through divorces. We had small
35:14
children. He moved in next door. Very funny things
35:18
ensued, but we ended up dating and getting married.
35:21
And after we were married, we were moving into
35:25
a new place that was bigger for all of us. And
35:27
he had a VCR tape. That's how old the story is.
35:29
And he popped it in. He's like, babe, come here.
35:31
I want you to see this. It's so funny. And I
35:33
come over and I'm watching this. And I'm like,
35:35
wait a minute. I've seen this before. His, the
35:39
old staff that he used to work on at this, at
35:41
this, you know, big organization, they had pranked
35:44
him and they had done this. You remember the
35:46
movie, the show punked with Ashton Kutcher? Yeah,
35:49
of course. Show on MTV. Okay. So they had done
35:51
a version of this. They had punked their staff
35:53
members by like setting up these scenarios where
35:56
they think that something's happening that's
35:58
not. And then they're like, oh, hey, you got
36:00
punked. And so they filmed this and they, and
36:02
I was watching it with him and I was like, I've
36:04
seen this before. And he's like, what? And I
36:06
was like, wait a second. I said, they showed
36:09
this at an outside festival that I went to a
36:12
few years ago. And he goes, yeah, they showed
36:14
it at this big picnic that, you know, that our
36:17
organization had for the public. They showed
36:19
it on a Jumbotron. I said, I was there. I was
36:21
at that picnic and I saw this and I even asked
36:25
my friend that had invited me because she worked
36:27
at this organization. I said, Hey, I said, who
36:29
is that guy that they're that they're like tricking
36:31
and pranking in this video? And she, she told
36:33
me who he was. I didn't remember, but I did say.
36:36
I said, and she's like, why? And I said, because
36:39
I know him from somewhere. Like, I feel like
36:41
I either went to school with him or we worked
36:44
together. I just couldn't place him. Well, he
36:46
ended up being my future neighbor and becoming
36:48
my husband. This is the kind of stuff that you
36:52
can't get on Love is Blind. You just kind of
36:54
like fill out an application and you meet people
36:57
just by voice through these separate pods. And,
37:01
but no, I mean, you know, just that old school,
37:03
like, oh, we, you know, we're next door neighbors,
37:06
but we could have been, you know, meeting years
37:08
earlier at this prank video thing. I fell drawn
37:12
to him when he was on a Jumbotron and then I
37:14
ended up meeting him later and marrying him.
37:17
And so, but speaking of Love is Blind, I feel
37:19
like the casting, you tell me, I don't know if
37:21
your wife and you guys are real fans of the show,
37:24
but from the first season to now, it feels like
37:28
they're purposely, and I made a reel about this
37:30
on Instagram, purposely casting. the men that
37:34
women complain about. Like the ones that are
37:36
not ready. It's like, are they purposely trying
37:40
to find, you know, rage bait? What are we doing?
37:43
Yeah, to get a reaction out of people, to get
37:45
people talking online, you have a great point.
37:49
Yeah, no, I've certainly seen some examples of
37:52
toxic masculinity in there, you know, whether
37:55
they're truly not ready or they just want to
37:59
sleep with as many women as possible. Or in Alex's
38:02
case, they're just arrogantly confident about
38:04
everything and don't want to show vulnerability.
38:08
Like, what were your thoughts? So did you watch
38:10
the entire season 10? I did. Yeah. I watched
38:13
the entire season. And then of course just saw
38:16
the reunion show when it came out. What was it
38:18
last week or the week before? And yeah, I just,
38:21
you know, obviously those pod dates are five
38:24
to six hours long for someone who knows how TV
38:27
production works. I used to work in television.
38:29
So we're only seeing like five minutes of a five
38:31
hour pod date and the producers are only showing
38:34
us what they want us to see. And so obviously
38:36
there was lots of stuff that was happening that
38:38
we weren't seeing. And the one healthy couple,
38:40
you know, Vic and Christine, they weren't a lot
38:42
of screen time because they are healthy. They
38:45
kind of knew what they were looking for. So this
38:47
experiment worked for them. I'm so glad they
38:48
found each other. And of course they're happily
38:50
married and that's exciting. But I was really
38:52
surprised. Were you surprised at the reunion
38:54
show to see all the happily married couples?
38:56
I mean, there's quite a few of them. Yeah. Oh
38:58
my God. I think there was like, they said like
39:00
150 people or so were in the audience from like
39:03
all the 10 seasons of Love is Blind. But yeah,
39:07
they're trying to always do something different
39:09
for the reunion show last year. They had it outside
39:12
and they had musical performers and they had
39:14
a basketball competition with Chris Paul. And
39:16
this year was like, Hey, every happily married
39:18
couple from the past 10 seasons. Um, and you,
39:23
yeah, it's basically a game of like, wow, I've
39:26
totally forgot you existed until now. And, uh,
39:29
that was great. Some of them weren't even there.
39:32
They weren't the person that they picked in the
39:34
pods, but they're part of what's become that,
39:36
you know, that community or universe. Like, do
39:39
you like the bachelor nation? Now it's the love
39:41
is blind nation. And they're finding each other,
39:44
even though they weren't even part of each other's
39:45
season, because all these people hang out together,
39:47
they have parties, they invite each other. And
39:49
so that's bringing back exactly what I'm talking
39:51
about is bringing back the village. You know,
39:53
the more that we can get in community and like
39:55
-minded community, the better chance we have
39:57
of meeting someone who's really aligned with
39:59
us for a long -term commitment. Right, right.
40:01
What are your thoughts about the couples that
40:03
we've seen? So we already know that Christine
40:05
and Vic, they were perfect. They were, as Christine
40:07
said in the reunion, a little bit too boring.
40:09
for reality TV. So, you know, there was there
40:14
was probably a reason that they had their vacation
40:15
separate from everybody else. You know, the show
40:18
kind of knew that, oh, they're going all the
40:20
way and that's going to be good. What did you
40:22
think about Brie and Connor? Well, what's interesting
40:25
about Brie and Connor is that I actually made
40:27
some predictions about the couples that came
40:30
out of the pods and were in Mexico. And all my
40:33
predictions ended up being correct, which is
40:34
really interesting. But I predicted that they
40:37
would break up. They wouldn't make it to wedding
40:39
day. And I was surprised at the reunion to hear
40:42
they're back together. But I actually saw a podcast
40:44
that she did right after the reunion where they're
40:47
struggling again. So I really don't think they're
40:49
a match. I think they'd like to be a match. I
40:51
think that they're both good people. And I think
40:53
that they both really truly want to have a connection
40:55
with someone. But I just think that they're very
40:58
fundamentally different in their energy and what
41:02
they want out of life. She's very type A. She's
41:05
very driven. He's very laid back. He's very unbi...
41:08
And I just really don't think that those two
41:10
type of people do well because what will happen
41:13
eventually, she's young now, but what will happen
41:15
eventually is she'll start driving him, pushing
41:17
him or mothering him. Even though a more laid
41:20
back personality in a woman probably would do
41:23
just fine with him. So it's about compatibility.
41:25
Once again, the sea of compatibility. I don't
41:27
know if you noticed, but we saw a lot of, and
41:29
I don't think the producers did this on purpose
41:32
because this would be very methodical of them.
41:34
And I don't think that it's about methodology.
41:36
I think it's about. scandal when they're producing.
41:40
Um, but I do think that we had a lot of very
41:43
interesting attachment style dyads. Are you familiar
41:46
with attachment style? What is that? No, no,
41:49
tell me. So there's insecure attachment styles,
41:51
like anxious and avoidant. And then there's a,
41:53
there's secure attachment style. So people who,
41:56
they don't have any problem being vulnerable.
41:58
They don't have any problem bonding with another
42:00
person, um, being, you know, having intimacy
42:03
as far as into me see communicating. And then
42:06
anxious people tend to overdo it. They're like,
42:08
pick me people. They just, at any cost, they
42:11
just want you to love them and they don't want
42:12
you to leave them. They have fear of abandonment.
42:15
And then there's avoidant people who feel fear
42:17
of control or being controlled. Alex is a perfect
42:20
example of someone who is an avoidant person.
42:23
Like you see that he was never gonna let anyone
42:25
see him sweat. He was never gonna be vulnerable.
42:28
As soon as things came out of the sexual sphere
42:31
with his partner and wanted to go into... the,
42:35
with Ashley and wanted to go into the more emotional,
42:38
he couldn't meet her there because he was closed
42:40
off in that. It's like, okay, I'm fine if we're
42:42
going to be F buddies. I'm fine if we're going
42:44
to have this surface relationship, but if you
42:47
want to dig deep into my soul, if you want to
42:49
know me, then it's goodbye. Yeah. I mean, yeah.
42:54
I mean, I could, my wife like really, really
42:58
hates the type of person that Alex is. And like,
43:00
and you're talking about rage made. I mean, she,
43:02
Alex is that person that, that, that could get
43:04
you raging. Um, but yeah, I mean, for it to see
43:07
him go from, Oh my God, Ashley's the hottest
43:10
person ever. Can't wait to have sex with her.
43:12
And then as you had mentioned, you know, once,
43:15
you know, she tries to dig deep and get to know
43:17
him more. And he just becomes like, yeah, no,
43:19
I'm fine. Everything's cool. And he's. always
43:21
using sports metaphors for some reason. And he
43:24
was trying to put on, he was trying to put on
43:26
a rehearsed performance for Ashley's dad at that
43:28
dinner. Like that was, that was almost creepy.
43:31
Actually the two of them together, I was like,
43:33
actually you might've picked someone kind of
43:35
like your dad. I'm not really sure here what's
43:37
happening. You know, he, um, you know, it's classic
43:40
avoidant. avoid an attachment withdrawal. So
43:43
as soon as things get emotional, you saw him
43:46
withdrawing, you saw, and this is what always
43:48
happens. They'll withdraw and they'll blame it
43:50
on compatibility or chemistry. You're not really
43:55
my type. I didn't really have feelings like that
43:57
for you in the first place, kind of thing. And
44:00
then the anxious attacher in the... There's a
44:03
lot of people that had different attachment styles
44:05
that were not secure, but the biggest example
44:08
of anxious attachment on this season was... Devante
44:13
and I was going to say, yeah, because Brittany,
44:16
she like pre bought the wedding dress and it
44:20
seemed like she was trying very hard to make
44:23
it work with Devante. Yeah. Yeah. Devante clearly
44:26
wasn't ready. He was pretty distant, like Alex,
44:29
not really into any physical intimacy at all
44:32
with Brittany. So yeah, talk more about that.
44:35
Well, you know, and it always comes off as the
44:37
anxious attacher being super delulu, right? She's
44:40
just like, we're gonna be married, we're gonna
44:42
have kids, you know, he's over here like, like,
44:44
do you even know you're here? Did they roofie
44:46
you? Like, are you even alive? What's going on?
44:49
Because he was very shut down. So this is the
44:52
classic anxious avoidant dyad. So the anxious
44:56
attacher and the avoidant attacher, they like.
44:58
They, you know, opposites attract, but they don't
45:00
cohabitate. So they definitely attracted in the
45:03
pods with the things that they were saying, because
45:05
people that can't access their emotions, they're
45:08
attracted to people that are emotional. They're
45:10
attracted to that as long as it doesn't get too
45:13
serious and they don't have to actually access
45:15
their own emotions. So I could see why he was
45:17
attracted to what she was talking about in the
45:19
pods. But as soon as they're together in real
45:21
life, it's an immediate disconnect. Like he just
45:25
checks out. He's like a deer in the headlights.
45:27
But he says, I don't know if you saw at the reunion,
45:29
he said to, you know, to be fair, I just, I don't
45:31
do conflict well, I avoid conflict. And, you
45:35
know, she wanted all these things. She was telling
45:37
me that this was what was going to be. I just
45:39
didn't wanna, I just didn't wanna like hurt her.
45:42
It's like, bro, clarity is kindness, clarity
45:45
is kindness. Literally. What did you think about
45:49
Brittany's dad dressing Devonte down? Did you
45:53
think that it was not a good idea for him to
45:55
have that speech about how Devonte needs to be
45:56
better? I mean, I think that I can see why he
46:01
wanted to do it. And it's kind of like, it's
46:03
defending his daughter's honor in a way. But
46:06
you can also see that whoever marries Brittany
46:10
has kind of a high... there's a high watermark
46:13
of the kind of man that she's gonna need to be
46:15
with. And so, and I hope she finds it, because
46:18
that's my hometown. That's where I come from
46:19
originally, Columbus, Ohio. That's where me and
46:21
my husband met. That's where we used to live.
46:23
And so she's a great girl and she just needs
46:27
to, she definitely needs to work on the idea
46:31
that she doesn't have to settle. You saw her
46:33
settling. She's like, okay, Devonte, I know that
46:35
you're not emotional, but I can work with that.
46:37
I know you're never gonna tell me that I'm pretty.
46:39
Okay, I've gotten over that. Okay, that's fine.
46:41
Like she just kept bargaining anything that I
46:45
have to do to keep you, I'm going to do it. And
46:47
there's so many people out there that do that.
46:49
And it's always a bad idea because it never works
46:51
out. Brie really dressing down Connor's frat
47:01
guy -ness, his man cave, like, you know, the
47:05
keg and everything like that at his place. I
47:08
thought it was like just very condescending.
47:11
Do you agree or do you feel like, no, I mean,
47:14
that's Brie doesn't want that kind of frat guy
47:16
lifestyle and that's okay for her to speak that.
47:19
Like, yeah, there just were a lot of moments
47:21
where I just felt bad for Connor because... Brie
47:24
was just making him feel like shit for being
47:26
the stereotypical bachelor guy. Yeah, I think
47:28
that first of all I think that we forgot because
47:31
they all of them look a little bit older I think
47:33
in my opinion than they are but these people
47:35
are like 30 31 years old You know, they're not
47:38
they're not 38. They're not 40 years old. Okay,
47:42
and so I get it There's a transition between
47:45
adolescence and adulthood and a lot of these
47:48
guys seem to be in that transition Jordan was
47:50
in that transition dude had curb furniture His
47:53
house looked like he had furnished it with things
47:55
that other people had thrown out on the curb.
47:57
Right? So typical Flophouse, frat house feel.
48:02
Connor, to be fair, had more video games than
48:04
an arcade. He had a whole room for gaming. He
48:06
had all these consoles, all these joysticks.
48:09
And I think it was kind of shocking to her because
48:11
you can tell once again that she's a go -getter.
48:13
She's a type A girl. You go to her apartment,
48:15
it's perfect. Everything just like Jess, the
48:18
doctor Jess, they have their life together. And
48:21
I think this is where women in real time, in
48:23
real life are having a hard time, especially
48:25
millennials. like their male peers, their male
48:28
counterparts are not growing up. They want to
48:32
meet and marry and have a family. Their baby
48:35
clocks are ticking. And these guys are stuck
48:37
in what we call Peter Pan syndrome, like perpetual
48:41
adolescence. And it really, I see it a lot in
48:44
my practice. I see it a lot in what I do. And
48:46
it really is a real thing. Is that a reflection
48:49
of just the real world that like women really
48:54
don't have much choice beyond these guys that
48:57
are like refusing to grow up? Or is it just more
48:59
of a reflection of the show trying to create
49:02
that dramatic dynamic that will entice viewers.
49:06
Once again I think that the show kind of accidentally
49:09
or on purpose showed what's really happening
49:12
out in the dating streets right now. Instead
49:15
of showing us what could be they showed us what
49:17
is and I think that that was the rage bait because
49:19
people are like show us something else we need
49:21
to have hope. We need to have hope that there's
49:23
something better and there are good guys in the
49:25
world and there are guys that have their stuff
49:27
together and that they're maturing and you know
49:30
I call it the three M's they're mature masculine
49:32
and marriage minded but they're a lot of guys
49:35
like the Jordans and the Devantes and the Alexes
49:39
and the Connors of the world, not all like the
49:42
Vicks of the world. And so I think what I personally
49:45
believe that what has caused it is an empowering
49:48
of women that simultaneously cause a disempowering
49:52
of men. I think somewhere along the line, we're
49:54
like, oh, women are oppressed. We need to empower
49:57
them. We need to pour into them. We need to give
50:00
them, you know, opportunities and we need to
50:02
help them kind of woman up and be all that they
50:04
can be. They can be anything they want. But I
50:07
think at the same time, we disempower the boys
50:09
because like, okay, you've had your time. We're
50:11
not talking to you right now. We're talking to
50:13
women. And I think that's happened. It's gone
50:15
on for too long now. So we have an entire generation
50:18
of men that have grown up. not knowing what they're
50:20
supposed to do when it comes to women. Do women
50:23
want them to pay the check? Do they want them
50:24
to open the door? Do they want them to help?
50:26
Do they want them to this? Because they don't
50:28
know anymore. And I really see that especially
50:30
in the middle and older millennials. They're
50:33
just like, what do we do? What did you want us
50:35
to do? Because you said one thing and you meant
50:39
another. And I think that that's where we're
50:41
kind of stuck. So we need to redefine what it
50:43
looks like. for us to come together because women
50:46
are now saying they want princess treatment.
50:48
They want to be a princess passenger. Have you
50:50
seen this whole thing? So women are like, I want
50:52
to be a princess passenger. I want to be a passenger
50:54
princess and I want my man. I don't want him
50:56
to think. I want to just be able to go to the
50:58
airport and he has the passports and he has all
51:01
the things and I'm just here snacking. I'm just
51:03
eating snacks and he's doing all the other stuff.
51:06
That has not been true of just the last 20 years
51:10
of women. So I think it's a new thing where women
51:14
are like, you know what? I think we bossed too
51:16
hard. And now, now we want the other thing. The
51:20
pendulum is swinging to the other side. Right.
51:23
What did Amber want? So Jordan and Amber, they,
51:28
uh, they, we, we saw their wedding, but at the
51:30
reunion, we saw that their marriage only lasted
51:33
four months. And I. Yes, Jordan probably has
51:39
a lot of growing up to do, but otherwise he seemed
51:41
to be a very sweet, funny, charismatic guy. And
51:45
Amber seemed to have this deep mistrust of him
51:48
based on her past relationships with men. I think
51:51
Jordan made it clear that It was more so the
51:53
commitment with Amber that he was skeptical about,
51:55
not so much the relationship with the daughter.
51:57
He seemed to be okay with the relationship with
51:58
the daughter. So what were your thoughts on that
52:02
relationship? To be fair, I think he was only
52:05
around the daughter like three times. So it's
52:06
easy to be okay with a kid when you never have
52:08
ever really seen them. So I think that both,
52:12
I think that they were like the worst match because
52:14
she hasn't done her hard work. So she's had these
52:19
horrible relationships with men. She's definitely
52:21
very scarred and very wounded still from those
52:24
things. And then you have Jordan, who's just
52:26
like a big golden retriever. So he picks her
52:28
in the pod because he actually feels sympathy
52:31
for her. She's telling her story. And you see
52:33
this in Chris. Chris comes into the bar and he's
52:36
drunk and he's acting crazy. And he's like...
52:39
To Amber, he said, yeah, all of us guys thought
52:42
you were crazy, all except Jordan. Jordan felt
52:45
sorry for you. And we knew that Jordan was the
52:47
guy that could handle you, but the rest of us
52:49
were like, whoa. She's unhinged. And so he's
52:53
saying this in his little drunken tirade. And
52:55
she's just like, but you can see that that probably
52:57
was true. Because all of these people date each
53:00
other on the first, when they first get in the
53:02
pods, they all have to go on dates with everybody.
53:05
And I think that you saw how she was oversharing
53:07
in the pods, TMI, she was being not just vulnerable,
53:11
she was kind of airing her dirty laundry, right?
53:14
And no one else was really interested in that
53:16
energy except for Jordan, who once again, he's
53:19
the therapy dog. He's like the human version
53:20
of a therapy dog. So he's like... Oh, yeah. Yeah.
53:24
Okay. I can see that. Yeah. So he starts feeling
53:26
an emotional connection for her because his posture
53:29
as a man probably is going to be someone who
53:32
wants to help heal or fix, but he's still immature
53:35
in that, right? because he really hasn't had
53:38
a lot of good relationships yet for himself.
53:40
So I think that's why he said yes. I predicted
53:43
that they would get married, by the way. I said
53:44
they will get married and they will not, and
53:47
they will not make it. Like I knew that they
53:48
were going to say yes at the altar, but afterwards
53:51
they're going to break up because you can even
53:53
see it on his face during the ceremony. He doesn't
53:56
want to hurt her anymore because she's already
53:57
been hurt by too many people. He doesn't want
54:00
to marry her. He doesn't think that he can handle
54:02
a wife and a ready -made family. He doesn't want
54:04
to move out to the burbs. He doesn't want any
54:07
of that, but he also doesn't want to hurt her.
54:09
That was the mistake. Wow. And lastly, because
54:11
I know we're limited on time here, Jessica and
54:14
Chris, I think I'm still trying to process the
54:17
transformation of Chris, because from my memory
54:20
in the pods, Chris seemed to be fine. And then
54:23
he just got turned into the villain before you
54:28
know it. Going from making Jessica feel like
54:31
she's a beautiful, wanted person to... when,
54:34
you know, all the couples are meeting up at this
54:36
place and Chris is of course drunk off his ass
54:39
and saying to anybody who will listen that, you
54:42
know, Jessica, she's okay, she's fine, but I'm
54:46
looking for someone who does Pilates, like just
54:49
stuff that didn't make sense because Jessica's
54:50
a beautiful, wonderful, charismatic person. So
54:54
what do you make of that? Like, why did Chris
54:58
go from... okay to just oh you're a dick and
55:03
then the reunion he's watching back and he's
55:05
just like I don't know who that was I'm completely
55:07
sorry I was expecting him to fight back but um
55:11
why did he exhibit that villainous behavior Well,
55:15
I think alcohol played into it. I'm from Columbus,
55:20
Ohio. I'm from Columbus, Ohio. And so I have
55:22
friends that have run into Kavon. Remember Kavon
55:24
who couldn't make a decision? He couldn't choose
55:27
because he wasn't wired to be able to say, I
55:30
love you and propose to someone. He couldn't
55:32
make a decision because it just wasn't the right
55:34
thing for him. When they cast this show, they're
55:37
casting personalities that can do this really
55:39
fast. But he just wasn't able to do it. And he
55:42
said to the person that I ran into, he said,
55:44
you You have to keep in mind that they're giving
55:46
us huge quantities of alcohol. He said, we're
55:48
sitting in these pods for five to six hours and
55:51
all we're doing is drinking. He said, you drink
55:53
way more than you normally would drink. He said,
55:55
and some people get really vivacious when they're
55:57
drinking and some people get really shut down
55:59
and quiet. He said, that's kind of his personality
56:01
when he's drinking. So that's why he seems really
56:04
low key and kind of confused because there's
56:06
a lot of alcohol at play. And Chris, when he
56:09
is wilding out and even crashing out, he is really
56:12
intoxicated. brings out the worst in people.
56:15
There's no self -control. There's no filter.
56:18
I do think you tell on yourself about a lot of
56:20
the way that you really do feel though. Chris
56:22
at the reunion, I think that he probably talked
56:25
to a PR person or someone that told him, hey,
56:28
this is television. This could kind of haunt
56:30
you for the rest of your life. You better go
56:33
in there and try to. you know, do some damage
56:37
control. I think he probably wanted to say a
56:39
lot of things, but he was biting his tongue because
56:41
of the damage control aspect of it. I think it
56:44
was interesting though that Jessica already has
56:45
a new man. And once again, from the same communities,
56:48
from the Love is Blind community, he seemed super
56:51
serious about her. I did notice, I did notice
56:53
that Emma was really surprised that Mike had
56:56
a new woman already. She was there too. And I
56:59
don't think, I think that she looked like she
57:01
was dressed and ready for her and Mike to kind
57:03
of maybe pick up where they left off. You know,
57:05
for him to be like, Oh, I haven't seen you. You
57:07
look so pretty. You know, let's talk. But he
57:10
had a man, he had a woman. So, um. And I promise,
57:14
that's actually the last couple that I wanted
57:16
to talk about, Mike and Emma. I wanted to get
57:18
your thoughts about that because that wrapped
57:20
up in a way I didn't expect because the whole
57:22
thing with Mike and Emma, I found them both to
57:24
be great people, but clearly Mike wanted kids.
57:27
Emma was very skeptical about it. It seemed like
57:29
there were some points where Mike was pressuring
57:31
her to go in that direction. And then at the
57:35
altar, you would think, oh, Emma would be the
57:37
one to say no, but Mike is like, no, I'm going
57:40
to be the one to say no, because you don't want
57:42
kids. I cannot have that. Emma was about to,
57:45
I think she already said yes at the altar, didn't
57:47
she? Yeah. And then, uh, yeah, we mentioned at
57:50
the reunion, you had mentioned that she, you
57:52
know, dressed up, ready to go, uh, and, and maybe
57:54
wanting to see if things work with Mike, but
57:56
Mike has already moved on with somebody else.
57:59
What did you make of that? Because that, I thought
58:01
it was going to be very much Mike is yes, he's
58:05
clouded and not thinking clearly. And Emma is
58:08
a no, but to see it twisted like that, it was
58:11
like really interesting, you know? Yeah. Well,
58:13
you know, um, this is, you know, maybe an unpopular
58:15
opinion, but I'm just going to say this, that
58:17
people. This show has been around for over 10
58:19
seasons, okay? And so we already know what it
58:23
looks like at the end. And so all the people
58:24
on this show know what it looks like at the end.
58:27
They know the reunion show. They know that there's
58:29
a couple arcs that you can take. You can take
58:32
the victim arc. You can take the villain arc
58:34
like Chris did. Or you can take the, I'm just
58:36
doing what any of you would do the relatable
58:39
arc, right? Like I'm choosing myself. We weren't
58:42
compatible. And that's what Mike chose. I don't
58:45
believe that he didn't marry her. because she
58:47
wasn't sure on children. I think he used it as
58:49
an excuse not to marry her. So he didn't look
58:51
like a douchebag. I do. I think that he did not
58:54
want to marry her. I think that he loved it that
58:57
she wasn't willing to just be like, yes, I'll
59:00
have your babies. Because he was able to use
59:02
that as an out. As an out, well, you know, she
59:05
wasn't really sure. And I just couldn't make
59:06
this decision because I know that that's what
59:08
I want. I think that that is what he did. And
59:11
I think that he was never after being in person
59:14
and after being in relationship, I don't think.
59:15
he ever really wanted to marry her. Why is that?
59:21
Was it because of her arm? Was it something in
59:24
her personality? No, I don't think it had anything
59:26
to do with that. I think it was more personality
59:28
and compatibility. I think that their personalities
59:30
weren't compatible. It made it, remember we're
59:32
hours and hours of footage and only certain things
59:34
are making it into the editing, but it made it
59:37
into the editing several times that he didn't
59:39
like the way that she lived. Like they lived
59:41
together. He didn't like the way that she lived.
59:43
She was super messy and she just thought it was
59:46
funny. And I think he thought she was really
59:47
immature. in a lot of ways. And even though his
59:49
parents, his family seemed really nice, and I
59:51
don't think that they're mean people, I don't
59:53
think that they like the match at all. And I
59:55
think that he comes from a very influential family
59:58
that they were like, yeah, this is not the right
59:59
girl for you. Yeah, I mean, because Mike comes,
1:00:01
I was telling my wife, Tony, as we were watching,
1:00:03
he comes from this big Italian family and, you
1:00:06
know, Italians, they have big families, they're
1:00:08
Catholic, they're very much about like, let's
1:00:10
have a family with like 10 kids and, and let's
1:00:13
all have, you know, be merry at the dinner table.
1:00:15
So this was a great conversation. I know we have
1:00:19
to go here, but before we do, like, for anybody
1:00:22
that wants to look more into your matchmaking
1:00:25
and relationship coaching, how can they follow
1:00:27
you on socials? Is there a website you want to
1:00:29
promote as well? Like, give us everything. So
1:00:31
I'm super easy to find, just two places, JackieDorman
1:00:33
.com and JackieDormanOfficial on Instagram. So
1:00:36
that's how you can find me. I'm, I'm bad on Facebook
1:00:39
as well, but I really don't hang out anywhere
1:00:41
besides Instagram. And then my website has everything
1:00:44
you need. Love that. And the delicious culture,
1:00:46
follow us wherever you get your podcasts, the
1:00:48
delicious culture at gmail .com. If you have
1:00:51
any questions, concerns, comments, feedback about
1:00:53
this episode at the delicious culture on Instagram,
1:00:56
TikTok, YouTube, subscribe, comment, like, share,
1:00:59
love it. We would appreciate it. And Jackie,
1:01:02
again, thank you so much. Appreciate your time.
1:01:05
Yeah, of course. For those of you listening and
1:01:07
watching, let's deliciousness ring.