Latest / None of Your Business Podcast / Fally Klein on Breaking Rules, Finding God & Living Authentically

Transcript

Fally Klein on Breaking Rules, Finding God & Living Authentically · None of Your Business Podcast

• 0:00
  He knows I'm loving. I don't see private clients
• 0:02
  anymore. I do so much beyond hypnosis.
• 0:04
  This is not where I thought this conversation is going to go, and
• 0:06
  I'm having a fabulous time. None of your business.
• 0:12
  Oshi. None of your business.
• 0:13
  Michael, it's the None of Your Business podcast hosted by
• 0:17
  Michael Anoshi. Welcome back everybody to
• 0:20
  another inspirational, growth oriented, funny, humorous,
• 0:23
  amazing podcast, the None of Your Business Podcast produced
• 0:27
  by the prime source production team.
• 0:29
  Steph Will amazing how far we've gotten till now.
• 0:32
  Are you are you still not proud of over 10,000 listeners?
• 0:35
  Is she? I'm getting there, you're
• 0:36
  getting there, I'm getting there.
• 0:37
  OK, all right, good. We are you proud of the fact
• 0:39
  that Twillery is our sponsor now or you don't?
• 0:41
  You're not into that either. Yet is the check cleared yet?
• 0:43
  The shirts have not arrived. And the shirts have not arrived.
• 0:45
  Yet. OK, you know what?
• 0:46
  Maybe next week you'll you'll actually get into it.
• 0:50
  I'm excited today because first of all, I'm loving all the likes
• 0:54
  and the comments. And from that we come here today
• 0:58
  because somebody actually recommended you and we're going
• 1:01
  to get straight into that. So welcome, Phalli Klein.
• 1:04
  Yep, so nice to have you with us.
• 1:07
  Thank you. I'm still can't believe that I'm
• 1:08
  here. This has been a whirlwind.
• 1:10
  I'm excited to see where this goes.
• 1:12
  Yeah. What's the name?
• 1:13
  Phalli? Where?
• 1:13
  Where's that? What's the root word of?
• 1:15
  That, yeah, I saw you stumble on and I'm like, they're for sure
• 1:17
  going to ask. It's the letter Aleph spelled
• 1:19
  backwards. My name is Fella so I'm the
• 1:22
  oldest. Interesting.
• 1:24
  So you're a fella, OK? Right.
• 1:27
  So it's. I like it.
• 1:27
  I like Falli. I like it.
• 1:28
  Me too. It rolls off the tongue nicely.
• 1:30
  It does. It does.
• 1:30
  So like in class when I was in 9th grade there was a Falli,
• 1:33
  Tali and Molly in the same class.
• 1:35
  It was not my best year, but yeah, I'm I, I do love my name.
• 1:39
  Definitely helps me stand out a little bit.
• 1:41
  So one of the ways we get our audience to get to know you is
• 1:43
  we have a segment called Chachi, PT said.
• 1:45
  What about you? Have you ever done a Chachi?
• 1:48
  PT says. What about you?
• 1:49
  I have not, but I'm going to assume that whatever they took
• 1:52
  is straight off my website. Not really.
• 1:54
  I don't know. It doesn't really give me the
• 1:56
  resources here, but it's on the bottom somewhere, which I don't
• 1:58
  have, but it's kind of interesting.
• 2:01
  Let's see where it takes us. So she turned a diagnosis at the
• 2:04
  age of 16 into a master class on resilience.
• 2:08
  While most teens were stressing about prom, she was rewriting
• 2:12
  her entire life playbook. Wow, that is true, and that is
• 2:17
  something that I'm known for. The prom line is funny.
• 2:20
  I'm not sure how they got to that because the story of me and
• 2:24
  growing up, is it a firm thing? There is one line, probably in
• 2:27
  the entire book I wrote about having a cancer diagnosis about
• 2:30
  prom. But that's funny.
• 2:32
  You never know where it comes from.
• 2:33
  You wrote a book. I did.
• 2:34
  I wrote a book called Miracle Ride.
• 2:36
  It's not published under my name, it's published under a pen
• 2:38
  name. It's Sippy Katyn.
• 2:40
  It's pretty famous. I think at this point it went
• 2:42
  into 8 printings, so it's been making the rounds.
• 2:45
  So a lot of people I'll come on a podcast and they'll see my
• 2:47
  face and they'll hear me be introduced as Folly Klein.
• 2:49
  And they're like, no it's not. And it's like yes it is.
• 2:52
  I have two names, Folly Klein and Sippy Kate, and they're both
• 2:54
  me. Wow, what's the book about?
• 2:57
  So when I got my cancer diagnosis at age 16, one of the
• 3:01
  things that I heard a lot was, don't worry, you'll get through
• 3:04
  this. You're going to forget this.
• 3:06
  All the hard things you go through in life, you forget
• 3:08
  about them, you're going to be OK.
• 3:09
  And I think I was in a stage of being a little bit rebellious, a
• 3:12
  little chutzpah, and like, don't tell me what I'm going to
• 3:15
  forget. Also, it felt when you get a
• 3:18
  diagnosis like that, it takes over your whole life.
• 3:20
  And I couldn't believe that something that was so big for me
• 3:23
  was going to disappear. And I felt like, no, if I'm
• 3:26
  going through this, there must be a reason why.
• 3:29
  Don't tell me. Just get through it, get healthy
• 3:31
  and then you'll forget about it. I'm like, the life is precious.
• 3:34
  Every moment is precious. And I had a really special
• 3:38
  oncologist. He passed away right before the
• 3:40
  summer doctor Michael Harris. And he, he taught me this as
• 3:43
  well. I asked him when is cancer going
• 3:45
  to be over? And he said never.
• 3:48
  He says, it's never going to be over.
• 3:49
  Do you think there's ever going to be a day that you're not
• 3:51
  going to wake up and say, Modani with like, extra gratitude
• 3:54
  because you you never forget that you're a cancer survivor?
• 3:57
  Don't wait until the day you're declared in remission to start
• 4:01
  living your life. Your life starts right now.
• 4:03
  You don't know what's going to happen in an hour.
• 4:04
  You don't know what's going to happen in a minute.
• 4:06
  Live this moment. And so I was journaling the
• 4:09
  entire time that I was going through this.
• 4:11
  Remember, this is 22 years ago. So in the Jewish community,
• 4:14
  people didn't say the word cancer.
• 4:16
  They said yanamakala or poo, poo poo.
• 4:19
  That's what they would say a lot.
• 4:20
  And I was like, no, I'm going to go to school bald if that's what
• 4:24
  it takes. Like you are going to look at
• 4:25
  me. This exists.
• 4:26
  Let's talk about this. So I wrote a diary really for
• 4:29
  myself. But then people in the community
• 4:31
  wanted to talk. And I was the one that we're
• 4:33
  talking to when I was 16. And I said if everyone needs to
• 4:36
  to talk, there needs to be more information available.
• 4:38
  So I took my diary and I put it into.
• 4:40
  I published it in a book and it became super famous.
• 4:44
  That's incredible. Yeah.
• 4:45
  Amazing. Didn't I?
• 4:46
  Didn't. I'm blown away.
• 4:47
  I don't even know if I can keep reading this.
• 4:49
  I'm like, I want to hear more about that.
• 4:50
  Like, please do because, you know, so it's so funny.
• 4:52
  Like, I'm so sick of the cancer story.
• 4:53
  Almost like there's been a whole lifetime since then.
• 4:55
  Yeah. A certified hypnotherapist,
• 4:58
  intimacy counselor and break breath work guide, she's
• 5:02
  basically the Swiss Army knife of healing.
• 5:04
  Cooler and with better stories. The Swiss Army knife of healing.
• 5:09
  Right, you like that tagline? That's that's great.
• 5:12
  You can take it. I will.
• 5:14
  So are you a hypnotherapist? Is that?
• 5:16
  Really, what is a hypnotherapist?
• 5:18
  A hypnotherapist is somebody who uses the modality of hypnosis to
• 5:24
  facilitate growth, healing, change, transformation.
• 5:27
  I got into hypnotherapy when traditional therapy was having
• 5:30
  me up against the wall. I wasn't going anywhere.
• 5:33
  You know, I think that when you, when you're in talk therapy, you
• 5:37
  can only talk as much as what you're consciously aware of.
• 5:40
  And we many times talk ourselves into circles or I don't know, if
• 5:44
  you have a friend that's going through something.
• 5:46
  We often find that their stories are repetitive.
• 5:48
  They'll just keep saying they're struggling with the same thing
• 5:50
  again and again. And I found that I wasn't
• 5:52
  getting where I needed to go, where I wanted to go.
• 5:55
  And I got introduced to hypnotherapy quite
• 5:57
  serendipitously, right? Miraculously.
• 6:00
  I said, I'll, I'll give it a shot, see what it, see what it
• 6:03
  does for me. I didn't even know at the time
• 6:05
  that it was therapeutic in nature.
• 6:06
  It just seemed fascinating. I wanted to be hypnotized.
• 6:09
  I wanted to know what it would do.
• 6:10
  And in one session, the anxiety that I had been struggling with
• 6:14
  that I accepted as a fact of my reality just dropped like in
• 6:19
  intensity from, I would say it went from 100 down to 25 and
• 6:25
  almost seamlessly, effortlessly. And it fascinated me.
• 6:28
  And I said, I think we're missing something.
• 6:30
  At the time, I was in school studying to become a forensic
• 6:33
  psychologist. That was my passion and mission.
• 6:35
  I was watching a lot of true crime shows.
• 6:37
  I wanted to work in Rikers. I wanted to work with criminals
• 6:40
  in the system. And I was facing this strange
• 6:44
  crossroads where I was realizing that the system is full of
• 6:50
  people who couldn't be helped. The system wasn't actually
• 6:52
  helping people. And then I discovered something
• 6:54
  alternative that the system wasn't really a big fan of.
• 6:57
  And I made the decision to drop out of college and just pursue
• 6:59
  what was really working in my life.
• 7:01
  So I went down the road of hypnotherapy, has been
• 7:03
  practicing. I I've been doing private
• 7:06
  practice for quite a few years and really proud of what I was
• 7:10
  able to bring forth. When I first started practicing
• 7:12
  hypnotherapy, people were like, is it kosher?
• 7:14
  Is it Jewish? Who's your rabbi today?
• 7:17
  Everyone's talking about it. It's like an accepted form.
• 7:20
  It's an accepted modality. People would also ask like, does
• 7:23
  it work? That's the question I get most
• 7:25
  often. The answer I give most often is
• 7:28
  no. Always with a straight face.
• 7:30
  I always tell people it doesn't work.
• 7:32
  What they're really asking though is will it work for me?
• 7:34
  Because most of the people who come to a hypnotherapist,
• 7:37
  they're exhausted, they've gone to everyone else, right?
• 7:40
  They just want to know, like, am I wasting time with you?
• 7:43
  Right. So I did that for a long time
• 7:44
  and then I expanded based on the stuff that people were bringing
• 7:47
  forth in sessions. I realized there was so much
• 7:49
  more I wanted to learn. So hypnotherapy itself, you can
• 7:52
  go down a rabbit hole, right? There's hypnosis, there's,
• 7:55
  there's hypnosis, hypnotherapy, regression, half life
• 7:59
  regression, spiritual regression, there's all of that
• 8:01
  kind of stuff, all the woo woo stuff.
• 8:03
  Did it all. Then I went to school to become
• 8:05
  an intimacy counselor because of what was coming up in session
• 8:08
  and people were struggling a lot in certain areas of their life
• 8:12
  that I wanted to know more of. And they're quite by accident
• 8:15
  again, discovered breath work, fell in love, and I still do all
• 8:19
  of those things, but. As a Swiss army knife.
• 8:22
  As Swiss Army knife. Yeah.
• 8:23
  And I'm not done. I'm not done when people ask me
• 8:25
  what it is that I do my kids. If you ask my kids what does
• 8:28
  mommy do, they're like, we don't know.
• 8:30
  They have no idea and if you ask my friends what I do, they say
• 8:34
  don't ask folly what she does cuz she'll never stop talking.
• 8:37
  And if you ask me what I do, I don't know cuz I do whatever I'm
• 8:40
  fascinated by and I'm not done learning and growing.
• 8:42
  Like if you if you have me back in a year, I'll probably be
• 8:44
  doing something new and cool. I think a good answer for you,
• 8:47
  if you don't mind me saying, is you're growing.
• 8:49
  That's what you're doing, yeah. You're always growing.
• 8:52
  You're looking for more and you're looking to learn and
• 8:55
  adapt and give back very much. Pretty amazing to hear.
• 8:59
  How long does it take for someone to get hypnotized?
• 9:01
  Can you do that on us in 2 minutes?
• 9:02
  Like is that work? Ask that a lot and.
• 9:05
  We have to Are we talking about the same hypnotizing that you
• 9:09
  see in shows and that you see in like in Vegas?
• 9:12
  They always have like these shows where they bring you up on
• 9:15
  the stage and then this hypnosis, what's it called?
• 9:17
  Hypnotist. Hypnotist.
• 9:18
  The hypnotist goes and, you know, he snaps his finger or he
• 9:21
  grabs the arm and says sleep and the head falls down.
• 9:24
  Is that what we're talking about?
• 9:25
  No, for the record, by the way, that happened to us once.
• 9:28
  I'm saying this because I say that, Michael, thank you for
• 9:31
  exposing that. But yeah, I was in Vegas once
• 9:33
  and a friend dragged me to this show and out of the thousands of
• 9:37
  people in the audience, somehow I got called on and they brought
• 9:40
  me up on stage with like 10 other people.
• 9:44
  It happened so fast. Your.
• 9:45
  Flight went up though. Right.
• 9:46
  And it's in a room with thousands of people and they
• 9:48
  came over. My head was not up.
• 9:49
  What? Not at all.
• 9:50
  They came over like they had a person in the stand that was
• 9:52
  calling them people. And they walked over to me and
• 9:54
  they said, come on stage. I was like, what?
• 9:57
  I was so caught off guard. It just happened.
• 9:59
  So I just went on stage. Next thing I know I'm there and
• 10:02
  there's like 20 seats and 20 of us were on stage.
• 10:05
  And this hypnotist guy was going to each of us.
• 10:09
  And that's what he did. He basically like grabbed my
• 10:11
  shoulder and he's like sleep. And I remember my head went
• 10:15
  down. I just don't remember if I was
• 10:17
  playing the part or if I really was hypnotized and I really fell
• 10:21
  asleep. I do know that I saw video
• 10:23
  afterwards which I've since burned.
• 10:24
  This video is not gonna not exist.
• 10:26
  We're gonna find it. Yes, it does not exist anymore,
• 10:28
  so don't ask to see it. We can just recreate it, yeah.
• 10:32
  He made me do stuff that apparently I did and I'm quite
• 10:35
  embarrassed about it. But like, why did I do that at
• 10:38
  that moment? Was I really hypnotized or was I
• 10:40
  just like peer pressure because I was on stage and like people
• 10:43
  were expecting me to do it. So I I don't remember the
• 10:46
  details, but that's my recollection of hypnosis.
• 10:50
  Of that, but here we're talking about it as a modality I guess,
• 10:53
  right? It's something.
• 10:54
  So it operates on the same principles, but those people
• 10:56
  give people like me a bad name. I mean, I love a good hypnosis
• 10:59
  show. Don't get me wrong, I will laugh
• 11:02
  with anybody else in the audience, but there's a there's
• 11:04
  a key factor that people don't think about when you go to a
• 11:07
  hypnosis show, You're right. He's going to call 20 people on
• 11:10
  the stage and then he's going to send ten of them back off
• 11:13
  because there's a part of you, you cannot be hypnotized against
• 11:16
  your will. So you're right, you were caught
• 11:17
  off guard. But some part of your will was
• 11:19
  there, right? If he would have told you to do
• 11:21
  something that you absolutely didn't.
• 11:22
  Want I wouldn't have done it. Right.
• 11:24
  If he would have said go rob a bank, you would have been like,
• 11:27
  I don't think that that's going to work for me, right?
• 11:29
  So he's working on your sensibilities and he's testing
• 11:32
  their master manipulators and so.
• 11:34
  They're like an illusionist in essence.
• 11:36
  Very much. And there's a there's a fair
• 11:37
  amount of psychology in there, like we need to know that you're
• 11:39
  open and amenable. I have to say Jews are really
• 11:42
  good at being hypnotized, especially from Jews who daven 3
• 11:45
  times a day because davening going into like a meditative
• 11:48
  trance state. We're so good at that.
• 11:51
  We're great at it. Also, anyone who lives in a
• 11:53
  system who's used to conforming great at hypnosis, fantastic.
• 11:57
  It's not a bad thing. It's just something that a
• 11:59
  hypnotist will will happen to pick up on and know.
• 12:02
  Like hypnotizing people in the Jewish world very easy.
• 12:05
  Versus if I go out somewhere else where there's a little more
• 12:07
  diversity, maybe a little bit more of a struggle.
• 12:09
  So I don't do that kind of hypnosis.
• 12:11
  I'll be honest with you, I probably stink at it.
• 12:13
  It's the easiest kind of hypnosis to do and I probably
• 12:16
  would not be successful at it. I haven't tried, so I can't tell
• 12:18
  you because I don't believe in it.
• 12:20
  I believe in dignity. I believe in in, of promoting a
• 12:23
  person and, and making a person feel good, not making a person
• 12:26
  feel manipulated. Yeah, I I felt like.
• 12:28
  I was degraded, you know, I felt like I was a prop that he used
• 12:31
  for his show and to give everybody there a good time.
• 12:34
  And these guys probably, like you said, they're just like,
• 12:36
  it's the psychology behind it. They know that you're probably
• 12:39
  going to have certain boundaries that you won't go till, but
• 12:41
  these things you'll probably do, you'll conform and so forth.
• 12:44
  And that's probably what this whole show is about.
• 12:46
  So tell me a little bit about your hypnosis.
• 12:47
  So what are you talking about? What do you do?
• 12:49
  So what? I do is well before I was in
• 12:50
  hypnosis, I was in advertising and marketing for about six
• 12:53
  years. So advertising is all hypnosis.
• 12:57
  Learning how to frame something to get you to want to buy it.
• 13:00
  I mean, you guys should know this, right?
• 13:02
  The way you frame something, the way you convince somebody
• 13:05
  without being overt about it. All the subliminal messaging and
• 13:08
  product placement, that is all a form of hypnosis.
• 13:11
  You have different parts of your mind operating at the same time.
• 13:15
  So you have your conscious mind. That's the mind that's thinking,
• 13:17
  that's planning, that's linear. But the most of your mind is not
• 13:21
  made-up of your conscious mind. It's made of your unconscious
• 13:24
  and subconscious minds. 3 right. We have unconscious,
• 13:26
  subconscious and conscious. And I'm getting, I'm using,
• 13:29
  let's call it baby terms, like pseudo scientific terms, but
• 13:33
  it's what the majority of the people understand.
• 13:35
  Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome.
• 13:37
  So this do more of that. Yeah, OK.
• 13:38
  I. Will the subconscious mind is,
• 13:41
  is in charge of like 90% of your of your functioning 90% of your
• 13:45
  life. So there's a reason that when
• 13:47
  you drive home from work, you're not thinking of the route that
• 13:50
  you're taking, right? But you'll probably go down the
• 13:52
  same codes again and again. You don't have to think about
• 13:55
  it. That's your subconscious mind.
• 13:56
  That's your subconscious programming.
• 13:57
  If you can tap into your subconscious programming, you're
• 14:01
  going to have 90% of your brain backing the change you want to
• 14:04
  make versus your conscious mind, which is only 10% of the change
• 14:08
  you want to be making. So if you're going to therapy
• 14:10
  and you're like, I want to stop smoking and you're doing that
• 14:12
  with 10% of your brain, great. But if 90% of your brain is not
• 14:16
  on board, then you're fighting a losing battle.
• 14:18
  So with hypnosis, what we get to do with hypnotherapy, and that's
• 14:22
  the difference between hypnosis and hypnotherapy.
• 14:24
  Hypnotherapy utilizes hypnosis in a therapeutic context where
• 14:28
  we get you to relax, to kind of, we don't get rid of your
• 14:31
  conscious mind. You're fully aware of the whole
• 14:33
  time, you know what's happening. But we have like a dual stream
• 14:36
  of consciousness where we can bring both minds on board at the
• 14:39
  same time. And a skill facilitator is going
• 14:41
  to use your conscious mind to help you navigate your
• 14:45
  subconscious mind. So people always the, one of the
• 14:47
  common questions I would get when working with people is,
• 14:50
  well, I remember well, I'd be asleep.
• 14:51
  They really don't know. I'm like, no, no, we are having
• 14:54
  a conversation. Your eyes will be closed most
• 14:56
  likely because it's going to be easier for you to tap into
• 14:58
  what's going on internally. You're not going to be as
• 15:00
  distracted by my facial expressions by the room around
• 15:03
  you. But in case you don't believe
• 15:05
  me, I'll record the whole session, you know?
• 15:07
  And I always give that to people at the end.
• 15:08
  I'm no longer in private practice, but that's what I used
• 15:10
  to do. And they're always amazed.
• 15:12
  They're like, I didn't feel hypnotized.
• 15:13
  Like, did it work? I remember everything.
• 15:15
  And I would say, yeah, you're supposed to.
• 15:17
  But the key is that we get them into that open state where
• 15:21
  they're bringing forth patterns, patterns that got them stuck
• 15:24
  into this place to begin with. So it's very easy to say I would
• 15:27
  like to stop smoking. It's another thing to be able to
• 15:30
  say, I know why I started smoking because there was peer
• 15:32
  pressure and to me belonging. I always had anxiety about
• 15:36
  belonging and that's what got me to start smoking.
• 15:38
  Like, do you think your body is going to want to give up smoking
• 15:41
  if you still have the same anxiety that got you into
• 15:43
  smoking to begin with? So if you have anxiety about
• 15:46
  belonging and you have peer pressure and you still have it
• 15:48
  today, 40 years later, your smoking is your lifeline.
• 15:52
  So you you might know that it's very bad for your health, but
• 15:54
  your unconscious, your subconscious doesn't know that
• 15:57
  it's 40 years down the road. They still think that you're an
• 15:59
  awkward teenager in high school who wants to fit in and they're
• 16:02
  not going to let you give up cigarettes so fast.
• 16:03
  But in hypnotherapy, we can get there.
• 16:05
  So what? What?
• 16:06
  Is hypnotic about it. It sounds very much like
• 16:08
  therapy. It is therapy.
• 16:09
  Right, it's. It's strictly therapy though,
• 16:11
  like the purity of what therapy does, yes, which is really gets
• 16:14
  into the deep subconscious of why you're behaving this way.
• 16:18
  And the only way to undo it is to go back to the roots, right,
• 16:21
  And cut it off at the roots. So again, where does hypnosis
• 16:26
  was, if I would come to you as a hypnosis person, hypnotherapy, I
• 16:30
  keep forgetting what you call it, whatever it is.
• 16:33
  And we would be doing what we're doing right now and having a
• 16:35
  conversation and speaking. By the time I left, I'd be like,
• 16:38
  so where was the hypnosis? Like where was the transit For
• 16:41
  me? I would be expecting a pendulum
• 16:43
  to be swinging in front of me and to like, you know, and I go
• 16:45
  into a trance that I don't remember it afterwards.
• 16:48
  Otherwise, it's just therapy, which is fine.
• 16:50
  I'm we're big fans of therapy. I think therapy is great and it
• 16:53
  does a lot of wonders. But again, where is that line
• 16:56
  that we're crossing into hypnosis?
• 16:58
  That's a specialty beyond just therapy.
• 17:01
  Great question. So couple of answers to this
• 17:03
  number one, yes, in a typical hypnotic session, hypnotherapy
• 17:06
  session, you are going to have your eyes closed.
• 17:08
  We'll we will start with an induction we will get you into
• 17:12
  that Tran state. So it has all of the hallmarks
• 17:14
  of we're going to countdown, we're going to have you
• 17:17
  visualize kind of like a guided meditation to get you in.
• 17:20
  You may feel some weird body sensations once you're in there,
• 17:23
  right? You may hit upon memories that
• 17:26
  in a million years you would never have thought to bring up
• 17:29
  to your therapist, right? Because the, the traditional
• 17:32
  thing that I'll have people come with is anxiety.
• 17:35
  We, we live in an, a world epidemic of anxiety.
• 17:37
  Is that the most common? Thing people come to you for?
• 17:39
  Probably, yeah. Just general anxiety I think.
• 17:42
  That today everybody, when something's not working well,
• 17:45
  people are like, I have anxiety. It's like actually you have a
• 17:48
  lot of other things. But yeah, let's let's talk about
• 17:49
  your anxiety first. So they'll say, well, I'm
• 17:52
  anxious because of AB and C, But then in hypnotherapy, they may
• 17:56
  actually bring up a story that is so let's say decades in the
• 18:00
  past that they never would have thought like, oh, that's where
• 18:03
  my anxiety actually began. Anxiety is a learned behavior.
• 18:06
  It's a learned coping mechanism, right?
• 18:08
  Babies don't have anxiety. Sometimes you'll see kids
• 18:11
  develop anxiety already early ages.
• 18:14
  Usually if a kid develops anxiety at an early age, we'll
• 18:16
  know why. We'll know what happened in the
• 18:18
  kids life. Today especially parents are
• 18:20
  hyper aware. But kids in general, they're
• 18:23
  awesome. They're they're free spirits.
• 18:25
  So when does anxiety begin? A kid struggling with anxiety
• 18:29
  doesn't often know enough to know that they're struggling
• 18:31
  with anxiety to start dealing with it much later in life.
• 18:34
  But then you're, you're peeling back layers and layers and
• 18:36
  layers. It's trying, it's like trying to
• 18:38
  cut down a tree that's been growing for 100 years and now
• 18:42
  it's, it's dead. You know, it's, it's I'll, it's
• 18:44
  destroying your backyard. You have to get rid of it.
• 18:46
  But cutting down a tree is a very long process versus if you
• 18:49
  could time travel, if you can go back to when the tree was a seed
• 18:52
  and you can pull the seed out of the ground and then you can come
• 18:55
  back here and the tree is gone and there are no scars.
• 18:58
  So hypnotherapy is like time travel really, because the
• 19:01
  subconscious mind doesn't know how old you are, doesn't have a
• 19:03
  concept of time. It experiences everything as
• 19:06
  now. So wounding that has never had a
• 19:09
  chance to find closure, You're still struggling with that and
• 19:12
  you're not sure why because in your brain, your conscious mind
• 19:14
  thinks that was 10 years ago, that was 20 years ago.
• 19:17
  Your subconscious is like, this is still happening for me now.
• 19:20
  So it is therapy. And the second answer to your
• 19:22
  question is when I was in college wanting to go for to
• 19:26
  forensic psychology, the the world of therapy 20 years ago
• 19:30
  did not at all look like the world of therapy looks today.
• 19:33
  So if I'm telling you things that you're like this sounds
• 19:35
  familiar. This sounds like stuff that I
• 19:38
  would do at any workshop or in a therapist's office these days.
• 19:41
  Yeah, these days. But 20 years ago, that is not at
• 19:44
  all what therapy looked like. It was much colder.
• 19:47
  It was much more clinical. It was much more straightforward
• 19:50
  talk, just talk. But, but if you research and if
• 19:53
  you go back to to Freud and Jung and the founders of modern day
• 19:58
  therapy and psychology, they practice what is more aligned
• 20:01
  with hypnosis or hypnotherapy. There's more synergy.
• 20:03
  Now between the two than ever, which is why they could be
• 20:05
  conflated with each other, correct?
• 20:07
  Because they really are in a lot of ways very, very similar.
• 20:10
  Yeah. And what's this breath work that
• 20:12
  is a part of this hypnotherapy? Is that, is that included in
• 20:16
  hypnotherapy or is that separate?
• 20:17
  That is separate. That's a separate.
• 20:19
  Thing Yep. So before we get to the breath
• 20:21
  work, I want to go back to this hypnotherapy.
• 20:23
  I have to tell you, I've been told for so many years I am.
• 20:27
  I was a huge smoker for many years, 2 packs a day.
• 20:31
  OK. Today I'm still smoking a bit
• 20:33
  more casually. I'm not smoking, you know, I am
• 20:36
  vaping all the time. So I am addicted to my vape.
• 20:40
  Like really addicted to it. Like I need to have it in my
• 20:42
  hands at all times. You're sitting on it now I'm
• 20:44
  sitting, you see it, it's next to me.
• 20:45
  I've been noticing. I know where it is.
• 20:47
  I have to have to be present amongst me, has to be within
• 20:50
  arm's reach, arm's length. Now, I've been told by people,
• 20:53
  go, go to a hypnotherapist, like they can knock this out of you.
• 20:56
  And I was always skeptical. I still am.
• 20:58
  I don't believe anybody has the magic wand to just make it go
• 21:02
  away. It's going to take a lot of
• 21:03
  work. It's going to take a lot of
• 21:04
  work. And I don't know if I'm prepared
• 21:05
  to do that kind of work. And quite frankly, I like my
• 21:08
  smoking. I need it.
• 21:09
  I think it's, you know, it helps me.
• 21:11
  OK. So I've been told go to
• 21:12
  hypnotherapist. They'll they'll you know, it
• 21:13
  works. They've done it.
• 21:14
  Many people have gotten off of it.
• 21:16
  People told me to read this book.
• 21:18
  What was this famous book about smoking?
• 21:19
  Michael, the famous book. I know what you're.
• 21:21
  Talking about the Alan. Carr Carr book, what's it
• 21:23
  called? The famous smoking book that can
• 21:26
  help. You know the book I'm talking
• 21:27
  about. They sold millions and millions
• 21:29
  of copies. One of the most famous books
• 21:31
  where people just and people swear by it.
• 21:32
  They read, read the book and they stopped smoking and they
• 21:35
  stopped smoking. It's a real thing.
• 21:36
  And I read the book. Oh, did.
• 21:38
  You. I read the book and you.
• 21:39
  Didn't stop smoking. You better believe I read it.
• 21:41
  I smoked an extra pack the next day.
• 21:42
  Did you read the whole book? Did the opposite effect on me?
• 21:45
  I read the whole book. Do you have dyslexia?
• 21:47
  No, I'm just teasing you. No, no, I read the whole.
• 21:50
  Book, it didn't work on me, so I want to try anything.
• 21:52
  So if I were to come to you As for hypnotherapy, what would
• 21:56
  that look like? What, what would you start?
• 21:59
  I understand it's probably hours and hours of a session, I
• 22:01
  imagine. How long is the typical session
• 22:03
  with with every? Hypnotherapist is going to
• 22:06
  facilitate differently. I have found that my sweet spot
• 22:08
  is a 90 minute session. 90 minutes.
• 22:10
  Yeah, but it's a one time. You don't have to come back
• 22:12
  again and again. It's not like.
• 22:14
  Therapy where you'd be coming back on a weekly basis, but I
• 22:17
  would say a couple, think about a couple of sessions, couple of
• 22:19
  sessions. 90 minutes each. And what would you frame those
• 22:22
  sessions around for? For have you gotten people with
• 22:24
  smoking addictions that have come to you so.
• 22:27
  Not it's funny, the two main things that hypnosis is known
• 22:30
  for is smoking and weight release.
• 22:32
  And I'm just like, please don't come to me for any of those.
• 22:35
  Do I look like, as somebody who knows what they're talking about
• 22:37
  when it comes to smoking, we're losing weight like £100.
• 22:40
  You know, I have, I have worked with people who've had some sort
• 22:43
  of addiction smoking. I've tried to remember if I ever
• 22:45
  worked with a smoker. Would it matter though?
• 22:48
  Like it wouldn't. It wouldn't, right?
• 22:52
  You could, technically. Yeah, I think.
• 22:53
  Aren't they the same? Like mechanics of I'm, I'm.
• 22:55
  I'm comfortable with stepping away and you guys, you haven't
• 22:57
  got questions. She's never done that before,
• 22:59
  she said. She's never done so much I've
• 23:00
  worked with other. Addictions I've worked with,
• 23:01
  alcohol addictions I've worked with, you know, sex addictions
• 23:04
  are great. Let's go.
• 23:04
  With alcohol for a moment, let's go with that.
• 23:06
  I'm I can consider myself an alcohol too.
• 23:09
  I I don't drink. Invite me.
• 23:10
  Next time I'm. Drinking crazy about over the
• 23:12
  weekends. I'm a weekend drinker.
• 23:14
  I'm away, but I drink. I mean half the.
• 23:16
  Jews are alcohol. I think so, by the way.
• 23:17
  I think most juice Alcoholics, let's be honest, in the week and
• 23:20
  we. Drink during the weekends.
• 23:21
  What's that we smoke during the? Week and we drink during the
• 23:25
  weekends. I have it all.
• 23:25
  Figured out all figured out. It's the perfect system and it's
• 23:28
  been working for me for many years, you know, and I quite
• 23:30
  frankly, I don't want to give it up.
• 23:31
  I feel like, why should you? I look forward to my weekends.
• 23:34
  So I I'm, I'm a drinker and I'm probably going a little bit
• 23:37
  overboard and I want to stop or I want to totally cut it out.
• 23:40
  So I come to you and let's have a session.
• 23:43
  Let's practice for a few minutes.
• 23:45
  Just like, what are some of those qualifying things you'll
• 23:47
  do with me? The first thing.
• 23:48
  I need to know is why are you here?
• 23:50
  Like if you, if you're here because your wife wants you to
• 23:52
  stop smoking, go home fair. Just go home fair.
• 23:56
  I I can't work on. That's why I chose not to work
• 23:59
  with children or teenagers, even though they are phenomenal at
• 24:03
  this work. Their minds are so open as it
• 24:05
  is. But I just felt that they're not
• 24:06
  forced. Yeah.
• 24:07
  They're not coming here because. They want to be here.
• 24:08
  Their body in is not as high. So if someone says no, I need to
• 24:11
  do this. And remember, most of the time
• 24:13
  when they're coming to me, it's because they've already tried
• 24:15
  everything else, which means that they've already been
• 24:17
  willing to put in. They have motivation, they have
• 24:19
  effort, but something isn't sticking.
• 24:21
  So if someone's saying, well, I don't know, I just heard that
• 24:23
  it's cool and I want to try it. Don't come to me.
• 24:26
  Don't come to me because I want to know that your willpower is
• 24:28
  there. I want to know that your
• 24:29
  motivation is there. We're writing that we're we're
• 24:32
  facilitating to find what's that stopping point?
• 24:34
  What's that place that you can't get past?
• 24:36
  So Someone Like You, you're probably not a good candidate.
• 24:38
  You don't want it right now, right?
• 24:39
  And that's fine. I think we all need our healthy
• 24:42
  dosage of distraction and addiction, whatever it is,
• 24:45
  right? I don't think that every vice is
• 24:47
  an addiction. I think we all have some people
• 24:49
  just watch TV. That's their thing.
• 24:51
  Anything can be. It's that's fine.
• 24:54
  What we would do is OK, if once I establish that your willpower
• 24:57
  is in, your motivation is in, I would likely add something to
• 25:00
  it. Like if I could get you to stop
• 25:02
  smoking, what else would you have that's important?
• 25:05
  Like, why do you want to stop? It's.
• 25:07
  I want to be healthy, all right, So how?
• 25:09
  Important is your health tell me about your health why is that so
• 25:11
  important to you well, living is the.
• 25:12
  Most important thing Why? What?
• 25:14
  What is it about life? And I know it sounds like a dumb
• 25:16
  question, but tell me more. Yeah, I'm.
• 25:18
  Scared of dying. I don't know what's going on on
• 25:20
  the other side. So I feel like right now it's
• 25:22
  better to be here. So I want to live.
• 25:25
  I also want my kids to be Yeah, I want my kids to be have me
• 25:29
  around as long as possible. I shudder to think what God
• 25:32
  forbid any kid his life would look like her life would look
• 25:35
  like without a parent. It's.
• 25:36
  I would never want a kid to go through that.
• 25:38
  And that's very scary. So that.
• 25:40
  Would be my second step right? Establishing your desire to
• 25:43
  change. What are your motivating
• 25:44
  factors? Your motivating factors are
• 25:46
  really important because if I take away the cigarette from
• 25:47
  you, what am I putting in its place?
• 25:49
  More fatherhood, more amazing moments with your kid, health,
• 25:53
  great life, right? Right.
• 25:55
  But I know all this already. You know it.
• 25:56
  But I don't know it 'cause I'm a facilitator.
• 25:58
  I don't know that about you. I don't if.
• 25:59
  I've ever said that out loud. I think that a lot of that is
• 26:02
  living in my subconscious. Like right now, you're pulling
• 26:05
  this out and I'm hearing myself speak about what it is that I'm
• 26:08
  looking for instead of the cigarette.
• 26:10
  But. Hearing yourself say that out
• 26:12
  loud, I know it sounds almost like this is dumb.
• 26:14
  Anyone. This is obvious.
• 26:16
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 26:16
  But you've never said it out loud.
• 26:17
  And you know that the best person to hypnotize you is
• 26:20
  yourself. Because your brain believes your
• 26:22
  voice more than it believes anybody else's voice.
• 26:24
  Of course. Your brain here.
• 26:25
  I trust myself. Right and your?
• 26:26
  Brain hears your voice more than anyone else's voice that it
• 26:29
  hears. And if you're telling yourself
• 26:31
  all day, I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I can't accomplish this, I'm an
• 26:34
  idiot. Yeah.
• 26:35
  You're hypnotizing yourself all day long.
• 26:36
  So when you can articulate your desire, it's not enough to just
• 26:39
  know it. Say it out loud, let your own
• 26:41
  ears hear it. That's important.
• 26:42
  And then you just clued me in. So when I'm going to hypnotize
• 26:45
  you, So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take you into a
• 26:47
  hypnotic state, get you super relaxed, get you nice and open.
• 26:50
  Do you have to be relaxed in order to be hypnotized?
• 26:52
  You do not. Common misconception.
• 26:54
  I hypnotize people with their eyes open all the time who are
• 26:56
  super tense. But it's nice when they can
• 26:58
  relax and then we'll usually do something called a regression.
• 27:01
  There are so many different facilitations that I can do
• 27:05
  right. I can actually have you have a
• 27:06
  conversation with a cigarette. A lot of that kind of work.
• 27:09
  Interesting. Yeah, talking about stopping
• 27:11
  while over a cigarette. Yeah, even in.
• 27:15
  Your mind holding up the vape, having a conversation with the
• 27:18
  vape. There's so many cool
• 27:20
  facilitations we can do. Regression is part of them.
• 27:22
  Regression would mean time travel.
• 27:24
  Let's go back in time. Let's find out.
• 27:26
  Like I would tell you also, you know that feeling right before
• 27:29
  you need to grab a smoke, right before you have to hit it?
• 27:32
  Yeah, Hold on to that feeling. At what level?
• 27:35
  You know, scale of 1 to 10. How do you feel?
• 27:36
  It's powerful. It's powerful.
• 27:38
  It's very. Strong, Yeah.
• 27:39
  So if you were. Like a scale 6, I would be like
• 27:41
  amping up, Get it up to an 8, get it up to a nine.
• 27:43
  I want you feeling it. I'm there right now.
• 27:44
  Great. I'm at an 8 right now.
• 27:46
  Fantastic. I would take that feeling and I
• 27:48
  would have you use that feeling as an anchor to go back to the
• 27:51
  first time in your life that that feeling ever showed up for
• 27:54
  you again. Talking about this from our
• 27:56
  conscious minds is one thing, but when you're in that super
• 27:58
  relaxed state, you may get a memory just pop to the surface
• 28:02
  and it may not be something that you expect.
• 28:03
  I'm remembering. Now, the very first time I
• 28:05
  smoked a cigarette, that's what's coming up for me right
• 28:07
  now, right? I don't remember the first time
• 28:09
  the feeling of needing that cigarette.
• 28:12
  I was about to light it up. I'm getting now.
• 28:15
  I remember now the first time ever that I picked up a
• 28:18
  cigarette and I smoked. I remember who I was with.
• 28:20
  I remember where I was. I remember everything.
• 28:23
  I remember the room that I was in.
• 28:25
  I remember where the two beds were there.
• 28:27
  It was in a bedroom and it was like 5 of us in the room.
• 28:31
  I remember sitting on the bed and I remember one person
• 28:33
  passing it around to everybody. I remember the entire scene.
• 28:37
  It's crazy and what stands. Out most to you about that whole
• 28:39
  scene from like an emotional place.
• 28:41
  Like what's the feeling in that room?
• 28:43
  The feeling. Was exploring doing something
• 28:49
  rebellious, but doing it with other people.
• 28:51
  So feeling, feeling like it's, it's OK because other people are
• 28:56
  doing it as well with me. And I was young.
• 28:58
  I was probably, I was probably 15 or 16 years old at the time.
• 29:05
  And I remember the people that were with me in the room, most
• 29:08
  of whom I'm I have nothing to do with anymore.
• 29:11
  But I, I remember the whole thing.
• 29:11
  I remember everything. So our next.
• 29:13
  Step, if this was a real session, is I would get as much
• 29:16
  detail, detail as possible about the room.
• 29:18
  I would get as much detail as possible about you at that age,
• 29:21
  what you're thinking, what you're feeling, why this room is
• 29:23
  important, why these people are important, why this decision is
• 29:25
  important. That would be just one stop on
• 29:27
  the journey. Right after that, when I feel as
• 29:30
  the facilitator that I've gotten as much as I need from this
• 29:33
  room, I would probably take you to another place.
• 29:36
  I would ask you go back to that feeling of wanting cigarette.
• 29:39
  My, it's coming to me now. Go for it.
• 29:41
  It's coming to me. Are you doing this, Michael?
• 29:43
  My. Goodness, he knows I'm loving.
• 29:45
  No, no, no, it's really. Coming to me, I don't see
• 29:46
  private. Clients anymore I do so much
• 29:48
  beyond hypnosis this is not where I thought this
• 29:50
  conversation is going to go and I'm having a fabulous time keep
• 29:53
  going so I. Remember the first time I bought
• 29:55
  my first pack? I guess that was the moment that
• 29:57
  I felt like I I needed it. It was in Brooklyn, in, in, in,
• 30:00
  in, in bar park, not Bar Park. It was like Kensington.
• 30:03
  I'm Lapa slash bar Park like in the middle over there by 18th
• 30:07
  Ave. I know. 18th Ave. by Kensington
• 30:09
  with a Yeah, I saw it in my mind as you're talking and I.
• 30:11
  And I smoked my first cereal, Mendelson's.
• 30:13
  Pizza. Yes, yeah, but a little further
• 30:15
  down towards the park. You know where the park by Ave.
• 30:17
  FI Don't remember the Avenues anymore.
• 30:20
  It's so long. Oh, yeah, OK.
• 30:21
  But I remember the park there was this park there and I bought
• 30:24
  the pack from a gas station. I don't remember where I bought
• 30:27
  it from. No, No, because.
• 30:28
  There's a known bodega over there.
• 30:29
  I couldn't be in the store. I must have bought it from
• 30:31
  there. Yeah, I bought it, yeah.
• 30:32
  By myself. I was on my own.
• 30:34
  This was after the trip and I, I experienced it and I'm like, OK,
• 30:37
  now I didn't, I need to buy a pack, I guess.
• 30:39
  I guess that's the next appropriate thing to do.
• 30:41
  And I went to the park, it was at night and I lit it up and I
• 30:44
  and I smoked it by myself. That was I, I remember standing
• 30:48
  there in the park. I remember the park looks.
• 30:49
  I don't remember much else around it, but I guess that was
• 30:53
  the very first time I felt like I need to smoke.
• 30:55
  Now I'm a smoker, I guess, and I was like 17 years old or
• 30:59
  something like that at the time. So you.
• 31:00
  Just said something to me that's really interesting.
• 31:02
  You just went to. I'm a smoker.
• 31:03
  Yeah, I guess. And you said that with, I don't
• 31:05
  know if you heard it, the way he enunciated those words.
• 31:08
  I'm a smoker, I'm saying now. With regret, yes, I'm saying now
• 31:11
  in a wave like unfortunately I guess I'm a smoker, but that's
• 31:14
  not how. You said it then no?
• 31:15
  No, I don't think that's how I felt.
• 31:16
  Moment of like of excitement. I'm a smoker.
• 31:18
  Yeah, I had something. New in my life?
• 31:19
  Yes, I had something new and something exciting, a new
• 31:23
  definition and something to look forward to.
• 31:25
  I guess just another ancillary thing that I brought into my
• 31:28
  life. Yeah, except.
• 31:29
  It didn't say when you said I'm a smoker.
• 31:31
  It was an ancillary. It was an identity.
• 31:33
  Yeah, I'm a smoker, right. And you're describing an age
• 31:37
  that I can only assume a lot of kids around that age, they
• 31:40
  struggle with their identity. I don't know who I am.
• 31:42
  I don't know where I belong. I don't know how I identify
• 31:44
  myself with. I remember being 15 and our high
• 31:47
  school principal came into the room into our class talking
• 31:50
  about SA TS and I remember having this moment of panic
• 31:53
  being like, I have to take my Sats.
• 31:55
  I am a child. I don't know what I want to do
• 31:57
  when I grow up. How does everybody know what
• 31:58
  they want to go to college for? Like I'm supposed to decide that
• 32:01
  now. I remember having that crisis at
• 32:03
  15 and to be 15 and say but I know what I am, I'm a smoker.
• 32:08
  There's a moment there. So again, I'm just making an
• 32:10
  assumption in AI, don't remember if exactly.
• 32:12
  That's how it was, but it makes sense, I have no reason to
• 32:15
  object to it so. The thing is when you say, I
• 32:18
  don't know for sure if that's how it was.
• 32:19
  So remember your conscious, your subconscious mind does not
• 32:22
  understand linear time. It takes a bunch of different
• 32:25
  moments and kind of hod Podge, like mod Podge, I don't know,
• 32:28
  put some together and they create like this new belief
• 32:31
  system or this new image of you. It's not one moment in time.
• 32:34
  So when I hypnosis session, I would take you probably to
• 32:37
  anywhere between 3:00 and 5:00 moments in time.
• 32:39
  So you just gave me two of them, the bedroom with your friends,
• 32:42
  buying the pack on your own, having this moment.
• 32:43
  I'm a smoker now, right? And I would probably put just
• 32:47
  without making any assumptions, I would probably be taking
• 32:49
  notes. Like when when you said I'm a
• 32:51
  smoker now, I probably would have written those words down
• 32:52
  and circled them and being like, this is a piece, probably would
• 32:55
  have asked you a couple of questions trying to get to more
• 32:57
  on it. There's a belief system there.
• 32:59
  What were you struggling with? What do you mean?
• 33:01
  Like I'm a smoker now. There's so many other things.
• 33:03
  I wasn't happy. In Yeshiva.
• 33:04
  There you go, I. Knew this was coming.
• 33:05
  I wasn't. Happy, I remember that.
• 33:07
  I remember when I where was it like 17, it was like my 4th or
• 33:10
  5th issue that I was in and I didn't want to be there anymore.
• 33:13
  I just wanted to get out of the system entirely, which I did by
• 33:15
  the way. At the end.
• 33:16
  By 17, I actually got out and that's when I ultimately ended
• 33:20
  up by Levitans where my life completely changed and
• 33:22
  transformed for the better. Give everybody Levitan a lot of
• 33:25
  credit. He really got me going.
• 33:27
  But I was struggling then. I guess that was for me, my new
• 33:30
  friend. I was very isolated then.
• 33:32
  I remember because I wasn't like the other boys in yeshiva.
• 33:35
  I was very different and I just didn't feel like I belonged.
• 33:38
  And I guess I needed that, that new companion.
• 33:41
  And that was my companion. That was my safe spot.
• 33:43
  Yep. That makes perfect sense.
• 33:45
  Of course you don't want to give that up.
• 33:46
  That has been with you. It's been your best friend since
• 33:48
  you were 15. It's all I know.
• 33:50
  It's one of my longest companions I've had right?
• 33:52
  That would be a. Terrible thing.
• 33:53
  Imagine taking your best friend who's been with you since
• 33:55
  childhood, who came and saved your life at one of the most
• 33:58
  difficult lost he was there for. Me he was there for.
• 34:00
  You. Yeah, Yeah.
• 34:02
  So imagine taking your best friend and being like, I'm done
• 34:04
  with you now. That would be a terrible thing
• 34:06
  to do to your best friend. I'm not that kind.
• 34:07
  Of person No, you're not. I'm not disloyal, right?
• 34:10
  So we would have to, now that we've established that we would
• 34:13
  create a whole new relationship to the cigarette, what we would
• 34:17
  probably do is we would redefine the cigarette because what we
• 34:21
  now know the cigarette or smoking is, is not, it's not
• 34:24
  about smoking, it's about identity.
• 34:26
  It's about belonging, right? It's about being safe, all of
• 34:30
  those things. All of a sudden, the cigarette
• 34:33
  or the vape might take on a new appearance.
• 34:35
  It might not look like a cigarette anymore.
• 34:36
  It might not look like a vape. It might look like the job you
• 34:40
  have right now or the car that you love.
• 34:43
  I don't know. You probably in your adult life
• 34:45
  have certain things that give you that kind of pleasure,
• 34:49
  right? Like you know, your spouse or
• 34:50
  your kids. You probably can look into the
• 34:52
  eyes you said, right? Go back to the beginning of the
• 34:54
  session. I can't believe we're doing the
• 34:55
  live session on air. Are you billing me?
• 34:57
  After this, I should Michael, could we get prime stores please
• 35:01
  to sponsor. By the way, I.
• 35:03
  Would pay for this literally I I feel like honored to be here the
• 35:06
  seat. Is going in this direction
• 35:07
  Edith, by the way, I had no idea.
• 35:08
  I still don't. Even know your background, which
• 35:10
  I'm dying to know now you're more of but keep going.
• 35:12
  It's So what I would. Do right now is you mentioned
• 35:14
  you have a daughter, right? Yeah, I have two.
• 35:16
  Daughters. Yeah, so.
• 35:17
  I would say, I want you to imagine your daughters, right?
• 35:20
  I don't know if you have sons. I have one.
• 35:22
  But it was funny because when you said my kids and you said he
• 35:24
  and then you right away jumped to she, which tells me that
• 35:26
  there was at least one of the two daughters that you have
• 35:28
  something special about. And you don't have to say that
• 35:31
  live on air because your kids don't have to know which one.
• 35:33
  But there's something about your daughters, right?
• 35:36
  I know we each I have a couple of kids myself and I have I love
• 35:40
  them all. I love them all equally, but
• 35:41
  differently. So just putting that on air.
• 35:44
  But the one that you were thinking about, you have the
• 35:46
  cigarette in one hand at 17 and at your age right now, you're
• 35:50
  looking at your daughter, daughters, daughter, and you
• 35:52
  know, daughters and son. And they give you that same
• 35:54
  sense of belonging. They give you that same sense of
• 35:56
  purpose, mission. I am a father.
• 35:58
  I am not just a father, I'm your father, right?
• 36:01
  And all of a sudden you can hold them both in both hands and
• 36:04
  realize the cigarette isn't the cigarette anymore.
• 36:06
  It's not about the cigarette. It's about the fulfillment.
• 36:08
  It's about the purpose. And there's another thing,
• 36:11
  again, this is not going to be something that I would do here
• 36:13
  because we're not in that state. But sometimes in the state, I'll
• 36:16
  say, if you're holding the cigarette in your hand, which we
• 36:19
  now know is not a cigarette, it's your best friend.
• 36:21
  All right, I want you to imagine you can ask the best friend, how
• 36:25
  old do you think I am? And just wait for a response.
• 36:31
  And without fail, I think in 99.9% of the times, the answer
• 36:35
  that the cigarette or addiction or problem anxiety will give is
• 36:40
  I don't know, you're 7, you're 17.
• 36:45
  And it's like, no, I'm, I'm not. But your subconscious mind
• 36:49
  doesn't know that the crutch that you've been holding on to
• 36:52
  who thinks he's saving your life doesn't know.
• 36:55
  And we can educate the cigarette and say, you know, I'm not 17
• 36:58
  anymore. I'm close to 40, right?
• 37:01
  And you know what else I have? I'm not an yeshiva that I'm
• 37:03
  unhappy in. I'm, I'm a father.
• 37:06
  I have a really successful life. Look, these are my daughters.
• 37:09
  And you get your cigarette to meet your daughters and, and all
• 37:12
  the belonging that I was searching for at 17.
• 37:15
  I have it now. Do you see how they look at me?
• 37:17
  Do you see how they love me? And there's a moment there where
• 37:20
  that that transfers over, where the cigarette realizes, you
• 37:23
  know, you're safe now you have that.
• 37:25
  You don't need me that way that way anymore.
• 37:28
  And then I would probably ask you again.
• 37:29
  We're condensing this super quickly.
• 37:31
  I would let you come to those conclusions on your own.
• 37:32
  I wouldn't give them to you. But if I ask you just right now,
• 37:37
  remember that feeling that I had you tap into the needing to
• 37:39
  smoke. Is it still there?
• 37:43
  You're not going to believe me? Slightly less.
• 37:45
  Yeah, I am going to. Believe you, because I know
• 37:46
  slightly. Less as we're talking, I'm
• 37:49
  almost like upset at this, like the cigarette is is betraying me
• 37:55
  and we had a relationship. You did.
• 37:57
  And, and The thing is, though, that the cigarette is still in a
• 37:59
  relationship with you because I'm not a.
• 38:01
  Child anymore you're not. I am not that same 17 year old
• 38:03
  boy, no. But you still have a
• 38:05
  relationship with a cigarette because imagine if the what the
• 38:08
  cigarette wanted was for you to be safe, to feel like you had a
• 38:12
  mission and a purpose. The cigarette still wants that
• 38:14
  for you. Now that the cigarette knows
• 38:16
  that your mission and purpose is your kids, the cigarette says,
• 38:18
  OK, how much energy a day? How much money, right?
• 38:22
  How many puffs? How many breaths of air were you
• 38:25
  giving that cigarette a day, the vape a day?
• 38:28
  And now the vape knows that you have a better place to put all
• 38:31
  of that air, all of that money, all of that attention.
• 38:34
  And cigarette says, let me help you.
• 38:35
  I've only ever wanted to help you.
• 38:37
  Let's take every breath of air that you ever gave me into
• 38:40
  saying I love you to your kid, right?
• 38:43
  So yeah, the dial is going to go down.
• 38:45
  And like I said, my first session of hypnosis, it took my
• 38:47
  anxiety from like 100 down to whatever 3025 took.
• 38:51
  You know, it didn't happen in one session.
• 38:52
  But if I could get a smoker's dial down from A10 down to a
• 38:56
  six, that that's a win. That's that's a huge.
• 39:00
  Win, and then you'll come back for another session in a month
• 39:03
  or. Can you please stop stripping me
• 39:05
  of my friends? I don't want to bring alcohol
• 39:07
  into this equation because I don't.
• 39:09
  I'm not ready to give him up just yet, OK?
• 39:11
  He's very important to me. Alcohol's a her.
• 39:13
  But OK, I mean, don't do not tell me that Tequila is not a
• 39:16
  woman. I don't.
• 39:18
  Know is it? I mean, there's what?
• 39:19
  Kind of women tendencies does. By the way, tequila's probably
• 39:22
  one of the more popular go to alcohol drinks today amongst the
• 39:26
  masses. I think it's a universally
• 39:28
  drink, mostly because. Costco came out with a cheap
• 39:31
  version that is excellent. Every brand is excellent.
• 39:34
  I think tequila is one of those drinks that, I mean, it's a
• 39:36
  little, you know better than others, but they're all like
• 39:39
  vodka. Also, vodka is very palatable.
• 39:41
  No matter what kind of vodka it is, I'm gonna stick.
• 39:43
  With what I know, except the PESA.
• 39:45
  Vodka. That's horrendous.
• 39:46
  You ever had the PESA vodka? I'm not a vodka drinker.
• 39:48
  Oh God. Someone taught me something
• 39:49
  really cool, he said. When you go to a party, just say
• 39:51
  I want the most expensive drink. I don't care what it is, Scotch,
• 39:54
  bourbon, tequila, vodka. Just give me the one that's the
• 39:56
  priciest one. I want to try that.
• 39:58
  I don't know. I'm not.
• 39:58
  Such a like alcohol snob. I don't really care what it.
• 40:01
  Is drink pretty much? Anything but, you know, there
• 40:03
  are people that are really fine-tuned when it comes to like
• 40:06
  certain alcohol, like they can taste the difference.
• 40:08
  And they also like like I have a brother-in-law.
• 40:10
  He savors every sip of like the Scotch or the bourbon.
• 40:14
  I'm like, I just down it. I'm like, how are you enjoying
• 40:17
  that? But some people are very strong.
• 40:20
  I do like. What you said though, that
• 40:21
  you're not an alcoholic if you're drinking on Shabbos, It's
• 40:24
  a vice, it's an escape. It's it's.
• 40:25
  Just it's on parties, events and yeah and weekends typically so.
• 40:29
  Remember that when we started this conversation, I tease you
• 40:32
  by saying, well, the cigarette and the alcohol are just
• 40:35
  continuation of the same spectrum.
• 40:37
  And now that we turned your cigarette dial down, I wonder
• 40:39
  what would happen automatically with the alcohol.
• 40:41
  Very often they're called comorbidities.
• 40:43
  They happen together, right? An addiction is an addiction, an
• 40:45
  escape is an escape. Sometimes we're escaping from
• 40:48
  the same thing, right? It's not only about the smoking,
• 40:50
  it's about what we're escaping from, what we need.
• 40:52
  Alcohol makes a lot of sense if you're looking for belonging or
• 40:55
  you're feeling not so safe in a social environment, alcohol
• 40:58
  takes the edge away. The minute we have that, the
• 41:00
  minute we've anchored into your daughter's your, your purpose,
• 41:03
  your, your reason for being, you may not feel that the next time
• 41:07
  you're at a social event. Now again, I'm not against
• 41:10
  drinking. I'm not against even smoking
• 41:12
  casually. But imagine if it didn't control
• 41:15
  you. You can still have the vape in
• 41:16
  your pocket, but you no longer need to know where it is every
• 41:19
  second of the day. Dial it.
• 41:21
  Down a lot, dial it down. That's.
• 41:22
  It. Yeah, and not only.
• 41:22
  That even if you dial it up, you're now in control of the
• 41:26
  dial in a way that you weren't before, at least.
• 41:28
  I have awareness. I know what the story here is.
• 41:32
  You know I'm writing it, not someone you're going to text.
• 41:34
  Me within the next two weeks being like, what have you done
• 41:37
  really? Yeah, I love it.
• 41:38
  By the way. I have to say, Valley goes back
• 41:40
  to my initial point that I was making.
• 41:42
  I feel like this was therapy. It is.
• 41:45
  It's a fancy word, hypnosis that you're adding into it.
• 41:47
  It's hypnotherapy. But a good therapist should be
• 41:51
  doing this, unpacking it for you in a certain way to understand
• 41:54
  where this trauma originated from and why you chose to go
• 41:58
  down that path. Right.
• 41:58
  That's what a therapist really does.
• 42:00
  Yeah, but believe. It or not, the word trauma is a
• 42:02
  buzzword today. It wasn't 20 years ago when I
• 42:05
  was in college. Yeah, like almost.
• 42:07
  I, I think I went through my whole, I don't know, quite a
• 42:11
  chunk of college without ever, you know what, when I was 21
• 42:15
  years old, I wrote my second novel and 2nd.
• 42:18
  Novel. Yeah.
• 42:19
  You wrote a novel. I wrote 33 novels, My first.
• 42:22
  My. 1st is Miracle Ride the book on what genre?
• 42:24
  I don't know. Whatever I was in the mood of
• 42:25
  writing about, it was like fantasy.
• 42:27
  Or like science fiction, My. Second novel is the one that no
• 42:29
  one ever heard of. It's called Invisible Me, and I
• 42:33
  wanted a challenge. I wanted to tell a story from
• 42:36
  the perspective of someone who couldn't tell a story.
• 42:38
  So the main character is a selective mute.
• 42:40
  She doesn't speak, so I spent four months being a selective
• 42:44
  mute. She's not speaking.
• 42:45
  You got into. Character I got into.
• 42:46
  Character my husband loved it I'm.
• 42:49
  Sure he did. And I didn't intend to do it.
• 42:53
  It was just, I got so absorbed in the main character, you know,
• 42:55
  not speaking that for hours after writing every day, I just
• 42:59
  felt like I couldn't talk because I was so in her mind.
• 43:02
  So she's the main, She's the narrator of the story.
• 43:04
  She's telling the story, but she's locked.
• 43:06
  She can't speak and she got this way because of trauma.
• 43:10
  She went through something that basically shut her down and she
• 43:13
  couldn't speak after she wasn't born.
• 43:15
  A mute, right? It's called.
• 43:16
  Selective mute, she's capable of speaking.
• 43:18
  There's nothing wrong with her, but it's an anxiety disorder.
• 43:20
  And I studied this, I went, I went crazy for like a couple of
• 43:23
  months and dug up everything. I had two selective mutes that I
• 43:26
  knew grew up growing up. So I already was exposed to this
• 43:29
  concept and I was very fascinated by it.
• 43:31
  And I was in college at the time.
• 43:32
  I was studying psychology, so I wanted to know more.
• 43:34
  And I wrote a novel from the perspective of a selective mute.
• 43:37
  And again, she was selectively mute due to trauma, I think in
• 43:41
  the entire manuscript, in the entire book, I don't think that
• 43:44
  the word trauma appears ever. I think recently I searched
• 43:49
  because I had said it to somebody and I said I actually
• 43:51
  actually have to go and check. Maybe it's there once, maybe
• 43:54
  it's there twice. Imagine writing a book like that
• 43:57
  today. It's impossible.
• 43:58
  Without the word. Trauma, I mean, every other
• 43:59
  page, yeah, today we're. So cognitive of what traumas are
• 44:02
  and what they, what it's capable of.
• 44:04
  It's so vast today. It's so it's out there.
• 44:07
  I think therapy, and we've said this before in the podcast,
• 44:09
  Michael, is much more acceptable.
• 44:12
  People are more receptive to it today than they ever were.
• 44:15
  Like our parents, grandparents were almost embarrassed if they
• 44:19
  had a family member in therapy and like, oh, don't tell
• 44:21
  anybody. It was like a secret, you know?
• 44:24
  But now it's like you're not sending your kid to therapy for
• 44:27
  something Like, why not? Like, you know, especially if
• 44:29
  there's something slightly wrong, grab the bull by the
• 44:32
  horns, take care of what it is, get ahead of it.
• 44:35
  Prevention over treatment. Get ahead of it, but let me
• 44:38
  shift gears going back to your. Question.
• 44:40
  Yeah. You're saying that this feels
• 44:41
  like therapy to you? Yeah, yes.
• 44:43
  But 20 years ago, when I was in college, this wasn't.
• 44:45
  This wasn't. Therapy.
• 44:46
  This was an. Anomaly for me.
• 44:48
  Watching it was a fancy. Word.
• 44:49
  It was a ponosis, Yeah, but watching?
• 44:51
  The progression of what therapy has become, unlike you realize
• 44:54
  that these techniques that I've been practicing for years that
• 44:57
  Once Upon a time were known as hypnotherapy, is now making its
• 45:00
  way into mainstream therapy, which is going to be that.
• 45:02
  Therapy also became much more advanced because more people
• 45:05
  started opening up. So there was more data coming in
• 45:08
  and we were able to analyze things more.
• 45:09
  And therefore the the therapy, the remedies started also
• 45:12
  improving because now we see what is really going on and it's
• 45:16
  just become a much more dialogue around it, more dialogue around
• 45:19
  it than ever. So now we're becoming more
• 45:21
  sophisticated in in what to do. There's more.
• 45:23
  Dialogue and there's something else.
• 45:25
  Not just that we're another generation further right.
• 45:28
  It's, I'm noticing that today, a lot of therapists today not not
• 45:33
  used to be therapy. It's their second career.
• 45:36
  So when I was a kid, you graduated high school and you
• 45:39
  had to decide what you were going to do for college.
• 45:41
  Advanced learners, people that are going back to college later
• 45:44
  in life for either their second degree or even for their first
• 45:47
  degree. You're seeing a lot more of that
• 45:49
  today. Women in their 50s, right, who
• 45:51
  have already married off their kids.
• 45:52
  They have grandchildren and they're empty nesting and
• 45:55
  they're like, I think I should go to school.
• 45:57
  You're seeing a whole new wave of therapists that are only
• 46:00
  starting at a later age in life when they have more embodied
• 46:03
  wisdom. They're coming in not from
• 46:06
  academia, which again, if you're 22 years old and you're studying
• 46:08
  to become a social worker, that's awesome.
• 46:11
  But what life experience do you have to back that up?
• 46:14
  Today, the therapist with much more life experience, they're
• 46:16
  much more colorful. They've raised kids.
• 46:19
  They've sang, you know, Shema with these kids, like they're,
• 46:21
  it's different. They're bringing in something
• 46:23
  new into the therapy. There's more there.
• 46:25
  Any. Jewish sources for the therapy
• 46:30
  hypnotherapy concept is there a place for this in the religion
• 46:35
  that we could trace back to and say that this was something that
• 46:38
  was done that's common that or just like a new thing for
• 46:42
  everybody, including Jews like it's it's not anything
• 46:44
  pertaining specifically to us you know I like.
• 46:47
  What Shlo Mohammed says, you know, the there's nothing new
• 46:50
  under the sun. There's always, it's just new
• 46:52
  ways of talking about old things.
• 46:54
  I mean, I think the I don't have a source, but as you're talking,
• 46:58
  I'm like, well, what about Shema?
• 47:00
  It says, you know, like homo dekha, oliva vekha.
• 47:03
  So we're talking about your heart.
• 47:04
  We're talking, we're talking about your head.
• 47:06
  You're talking about your heart, right?
• 47:07
  You're talking about your, your money.
• 47:09
  It's all in Shema. So your money is your energy,
• 47:12
  right? What do you spend your money on?
• 47:14
  What do you What do you give? What do you value?
• 47:16
  So we're talking about your heart, your mind, your values.
• 47:18
  So isn't, isn't God telling you serve me and and me is not this
• 47:25
  person in the sky? It's serve creation, serve
• 47:27
  creator, serve, serve alignment of, of and to and with all
• 47:31
  things, with every part of your being.
• 47:34
  And so isn't that what we do? We're bringing your heart, your
• 47:37
  mind, your soul, your values, all of this on board.
• 47:40
  Fascinating. So you know that we're going to
• 47:42
  get to this breath work thing because I really, because I've
• 47:44
  heard a lot about it. We all have.
• 47:46
  We all have that friend who's bragging.
• 47:48
  I did breath work. I did.
• 47:49
  I'm like what? Go away, go away.
• 47:51
  Nobody. Nobody cares.
• 47:52
  And we say it because we've never done it, so we don't care.
• 47:54
  I've never done it. So I would, you know, dismiss
• 47:58
  someone who came to me and said do it.
• 47:59
  Yeah. Here's the question.
• 48:01
  What the heck is breath work? What is it, really?
• 48:04
  And get ready to give me a session because so far, I'm one
• 48:06
  for one. I'm ready to go 2 for two.
• 48:08
  Go ahead. What is breath work?
• 48:12
  So breath work is something that you're already doing your whole
• 48:14
  life. You're already breathing, you're
• 48:16
  already very good at it. Breath work is a way to utilize
• 48:22
  your breath mindfully to get you to where you want to go to
• 48:26
  achieve optimal states of health, well-being, mental
• 48:30
  Wellness, emotional Wellness, spiritual Wellness.
• 48:33
  To me, I don't have an elevator pitch for what breath work is,
• 48:36
  which is ironic because in this community I've probably been
• 48:39
  doing it one of the longest. Again, before breath work was a
• 48:41
  buzzword. I started with breath work in
• 48:43
  2017. That was like when I said I did
• 48:46
  breath work. People are like, I'm already
• 48:48
  breathing, why do I have to pay you for that?
• 48:51
  Yeah, right. And what's the?
• 48:52
  Connection between breathing and mental health and between, you
• 48:57
  know, getting better emotionally.
• 49:00
  How does that correlate with me breathing?
• 49:02
  More or less doesn't make sense. Doesn't add up, right?
• 49:04
  So. The way I, I my elevator pitch
• 49:06
  for breath work is that it's another way of saying the word
• 49:09
  diet. And if you've ever been on a
• 49:12
  diet, you will know that diets are not just about losing
• 49:15
  weight. They're about being mindful
• 49:17
  about what you put into your mouth, what you put into your
• 49:20
  body. And there's no one diet.
• 49:21
  There's many diets. What do you want to achieve?
• 49:24
  If you tell me what you want to achieve, we'll, we'll create a
• 49:26
  diet especially for your kind of blood type, your weight.
• 49:31
  Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to gain weight?
• 49:33
  Do you want to muscle up right? Breath work is the same thing.
• 49:36
  So most people have a very narrow view of breath work.
• 49:38
  Like I went to this thing and there was music and I cried and
• 49:42
  I it was screaming in the room and I'm like.
• 49:45
  Yeah, sounds like madness. Sounds like much of if you want
• 49:48
  to try. That I can get you to do that I
• 49:49
  can easily. I mean, it sounds like.
• 49:51
  A good activity to the recreationally once in a while,
• 49:53
  but yeah, right, that's. Not what breath work is, it's
• 49:55
  what it could be, right? But there's so many utilizations
• 49:58
  for breath work. I, I teach breath.
• 49:59
  I actually teach 2 trainings. I teach a hypnotherapy training
• 50:02
  where I licensed facilitators in hypnotherapy and I teach a
• 50:04
  breath work training. Both of them are year long.
• 50:06
  So you're now training. Trainers, yeah.
• 50:09
  Yeah, So when, when, when I see people who do breath work in the
• 50:13
  world today, it's like, OK, what was your training?
• 50:15
  There are people who took breath work for three days and they're
• 50:17
  like, I'm a breath work facilitator.
• 50:18
  I trained for three days. My students trained for over a
• 50:20
  year. So again, what does breath work
• 50:23
  mean? Depends who you ask, depends
• 50:25
  what you're hoping to do. So when you asked about how does
• 50:28
  it pertain to health, like what does it mean about all of these
• 50:30
  things? So I'll give you a really,
• 50:31
  really good piece that I think explains it for a lot of people.
• 50:34
  Mel Gibson OK, When I was 16, the Passion of the Christ came
• 50:39
  out and everybody was talking about the Passion of the Christ
• 50:41
  because, you know, we're Jews. We worry about these things.
• 50:43
  Very political. Very political.
• 50:45
  Like, do we have to worry about pogroms?
• 50:47
  Right. So I didn't watch The Passion of
• 50:49
  the Christ, but I remember people talking about it.
• 50:51
  And I remember an interview that Mel Gibson gave very shortly
• 50:54
  thereafter when he won a lot of awards and people had asked him
• 50:58
  for his secret, his secret to like, being an amazing actor.
• 51:02
  And he said, I don't have a secret, I'm not acting, he said.
• 51:06
  Was he in the? Movie.
• 51:07
  I think he directed it. He directed it, yeah.
• 51:09
  Jim Cabeasel. I can't pronounce last him.
• 51:11
  He was the main actor, but he was.
• 51:13
  But Mel is an amazing actor in general.
• 51:15
  Yeah. And you know.
• 51:16
  That for years I doubted myself. I'm like, did I really hear Mel
• 51:19
  say that or I just made that up? Hypnotic recollections, right?
• 51:22
  So about a month ago or two months ago, I went and Youtubed
• 51:26
  this. I'm like, did Mel Gibson ever
• 51:27
  say this? I found it.
• 51:28
  I found the clip where he says it.
• 51:30
  So it was him and he said, I'm not acting, I'm not acting.
• 51:34
  He says, if you notice, every emotion has a certain breath
• 51:38
  attached to it, right? People who are crying very often
• 51:41
  go, yes, there's a, there's a, there's a hiccup there, right?
• 51:44
  If you do this enough, you're going to start, your heart's
• 51:47
  going to start racing, right? And then laughter is the
• 51:50
  opposite, right? It's outwards, right?
• 51:53
  It's, it's the opposite, right? Fear is and then they hold it.
• 52:00
  There's a in and freeze. There's almost no breath.
• 52:03
  Joy or laughter is well, it's not laughter, it's joy.
• 52:06
  It's like it's the side, it's this ease.
• 52:08
  That's what joy is. So he says if you know that,
• 52:11
  that every breath, every emotion has a different breath, reverse
• 52:14
  engineer this. So on a scene where fear is
• 52:17
  called for, we're going to breathe like we're afraid.
• 52:21
  Within 5 minutes, everybody is sweating and their hearts are
• 52:24
  pounding and we have everybody in the room in the middle of a
• 52:26
  panic attack. And then we read our lines and
• 52:30
  we're not acting. We are really scared.
• 52:32
  Like you can see the sweat beating on their brow.
• 52:35
  And I, I heard that at 16 and it's always stayed with me.
• 52:37
  So what breath work is, is a way to use our breath mindfully to
• 52:43
  accomplish pretty much any state in the body.
• 52:46
  So most of the people who talk about breath work talk about it
• 52:49
  in like trauma release experience.
• 52:51
  That's what it's most known for. So we'll get you breathing in a
• 52:53
  certain way. We're going to use very specific
• 52:55
  music, putting together the music playlist for breathwork.
• 53:00
  Breathwork session is an art in and of itself.
• 53:02
  We get you breathing a certain way and at a certain pace.
• 53:06
  And very shortly thereafter, like within 7 to 10 minutes,
• 53:09
  you're bringing up memories. You're crying about things that
• 53:12
  you didn't know you can cry about.
• 53:13
  You're laughing about. You're just generating emotions
• 53:16
  that have been stuck in your system for decades.
• 53:19
  I mean, I'll, I'll give you something crazy because you're
• 53:21
  looking at me like, what does this mean with women?
• 53:24
  Very often I will have women go into labor.
• 53:28
  They're not pregnant, but they're going to feel
• 53:30
  contractions. Very often these women have had
• 53:33
  epidurals, so they're in the middle of a natural cyclical
• 53:36
  process in their body where their body is giving them pain
• 53:39
  and contractions because they're cycling them through a process.
• 53:42
  They gave themselves an epidural, which basically numbed
• 53:46
  out that process. Great.
• 53:47
  I'm all for pain relief, whatever it is that you need to
• 53:49
  do. The problem is that that pain
• 53:52
  has a purpose. It's supposed to get you through
• 53:54
  to the other end of that. That cycle.
• 53:56
  If you numbed out the pain, there's a part of your brain
• 53:59
  that never got the message that that cycle has completed.
• 54:03
  So there's an open cycle left it.
• 54:05
  Trauma works in cycles. When people are going to
• 54:08
  therapy, when people are going for healing, what's happening is
• 54:10
  that there's a cycle that hasn't reached completion.
• 54:12
  They're hoping that the therapist can bring them to
• 54:14
  completion. In breath work, it's the same
• 54:16
  thing. So we'll have people
• 54:18
  spontaneously bring up these open cycles.
• 54:20
  For many women at the durals mean a cycle of birth has not
• 54:24
  been completed. Their babies could be 20 and all
• 54:27
  of a sudden they're contracting because their body never got the
• 54:29
  message and they get to breathe through it.
• 54:30
  The body is fascinating. So is the brain.
• 54:34
  They know how to close cycles. We're 6000 years of creation.
• 54:37
  I mean, depending on, you know, what, what theories you believe
• 54:41
  in, but we've, we've figured it out, you know, somehow we've
• 54:45
  made it this far. We have this anxiety over, Oh my
• 54:48
  God, if I don't figure this out, like life is going to end.
• 54:51
  It hasn't ended until now. Whatever crises I'm dealing with
• 54:53
  with my kids, I keep saying teenagers have come, they have
• 54:56
  gone like we're going to be OK. But our minds don't know this.
• 55:00
  Our minds have lost trust in the cycle of completion.
• 55:04
  So breath work is one of those ways.
• 55:06
  Hypnosis is one of those ways where we get the conscious mind.
• 55:09
  Like dude, take a break and let the subconscious let the body do
• 55:13
  its work. Amazing.
• 55:14
  Is breath work something you should be doing individually?
• 55:17
  one-on-one or in a group session?
• 55:19
  Two different kinds of. Experiences very different what
• 55:22
  is. Each for.
• 55:24
  So one of those who? Should be trying a breath class
• 55:30
  or whatever it is who's a good candidate for this so.
• 55:34
  Somebody once asked me, I mean, I get a lot of these questions
• 55:37
  like what's your Haskama like? Who's your rabbinical authority
• 55:41
  for breath work? Why does this need?
• 55:42
  A Huskama for well, who's this comet to go to?
• 55:45
  A. It's definitely not.
• 55:47
  What we're asking what right? And why does somebody ask that
• 55:50
  so? I always say, well, people don't
• 55:53
  know how to trust what's new, so they just want some higher
• 55:56
  authority to tell them that's OK.
• 55:58
  And my answer will be my huskama is Hashem.
• 56:01
  And they'll say, what do you mean by that?
• 56:02
  And I'll say, well, why don't you stop breathing and tell me
• 56:05
  how that works for you? Let me know in a day or two how
• 56:06
  that worked for you. If you're breathing, you're a
• 56:09
  candidate right now. Are you a candidate for every
• 56:12
  kind of breath work? No, absolutely not.
• 56:15
  And that's a big mistake that I wish more people in this
• 56:18
  community who are like, Oh my God, let's do breath work.
• 56:20
  It's like, no, not everybody should.
• 56:22
  There are certain contraindications that a
• 56:24
  facilitator must know about and a client must know about, You
• 56:27
  know, a pregnant woman can absolutely do breath work, but
• 56:29
  they want a facilitator who knows how to facilitate pregnant
• 56:31
  women. If you have certain heart
• 56:33
  conditions, your facilitator needs to know.
• 56:35
  Not every facilitator knows how to facilitate certain heart
• 56:38
  conditions. If you have certain eye retinal
• 56:40
  conditions, they need to know. Neurological conditions,
• 56:43
  epilepsy, right? No.
• 56:44
  We need to know these things. There's more thyroid issues we
• 56:49
  should know. Can it be a problem?
• 56:51
  It doesn't have to be, but we need to know any sort of
• 56:54
  bipolar, mania, schizophrenia is a big no when it comes to breath
• 56:59
  work. Does it have to mean that every
• 57:01
  breath work session is going to bring someone into a manic
• 57:04
  state? No, but it's something that we
• 57:05
  don't want to take a risk with. Does that mean that somebody
• 57:08
  with bipolar, schizophrenia should not do breath work?
• 57:11
  They could do breath work, but which kind?
• 57:13
  Probably not the kind that you're hearing about from your
• 57:16
  friends. They should never be doing group
• 57:18
  sessions. They need individualized
• 57:19
  one-on-one focus and not the kind of breath that they're
• 57:22
  hearing about. They need very regulated.
• 57:25
  Again, very different kind of breath work, but what what am?
• 57:28
  I trying to get out of doing breath work.
• 57:30
  I'm trying to become get rid of an addiction.
• 57:34
  I'm trying to re create some of my happy memories that I had as
• 57:38
  a child. Why do people go and what's the
• 57:41
  most common thing that you see it has success with?
• 57:44
  I think. That once you start focusing on
• 57:49
  breathing better, everything in your life is better.
• 57:53
  Every moment of your life is fueled by you taking a breath.
• 57:57
  Every cell in your body needs oxygen.
• 58:01
  There's only one cell in your body that doesn't need oxygen.
• 58:06
  That's cancer. Cancer is anaerobic.
• 58:09
  They multiply without oxygen. You expose cancer cells to
• 58:13
  oxygen, they will spontaneously combust.
• 58:16
  That speaks volumes to what breathwork is and can do.
• 58:20
  So everybody can benefit from learning how to breathe better.
• 58:24
  When you go to a breath work session, the kinds that you're
• 58:26
  thinking about, right? Like a group session.
• 58:27
  Yeah, they're trying to. Get an outcome right there.
• 58:30
  There's a. Lot of emotional release and
• 58:32
  when you release that level of emotion, you become more
• 58:35
  regulated after. So think about you.
• 58:38
  You mentioned that you went to a couple of different yeshivas.
• 58:40
  I can imagine that your teenage years were not amazing, right?
• 58:43
  Pretty rough, but big boys don't cry.
• 58:46
  So what happened? You had all of this difficulty
• 58:49
  growing up but there was no one to talk to.
• 58:51
  You didn't cry. You didn't.
• 58:54
  Rage is not acceptable either, right?
• 58:56
  Rebellion is not acceptable either.
• 58:57
  So where does all of that go? Remember, your body doesn't know
• 59:01
  how old you are. It doesn't know that you're past
• 59:03
  that, doesn't know that your life is great.
• 59:05
  All of that suppressed rage. Still there.
• 59:09
  Breath work can. It's like a release valve.
• 59:10
  What if it gave you permission to let that all go and then?
• 59:14
  So my foray into breath work was quite by accident.
• 59:18
  I didn't want to do breath work. I was like, you know the Yonah
• 59:21
  Aninve story where he got Yeah, I was, I was the Yonah to to
• 59:26
  breath work. Didn't want to do breath work.
• 59:31
  I breath work requires that you be embodied, right?
• 59:34
  Your breath takes you deeper into your body.
• 59:36
  I did not want to be in my body. Are you still?
• 59:38
  Doing it now sure. So you still this is the work
• 59:41
  anymore. With private clients, what I do
• 59:43
  these days is I run 2 trainings and I teach 2 courses So the
• 59:47
  courses are open to anybody it's AI teach one course called
• 59:49
  Vessel that's on self development, another course
• 59:52
  called Ignite that's on intimacy and sexuality and embodied the
• 59:56
  embodied feminine. And then I teach 2 trainings,
• 59:59
  facilitator trainings which is the hypnotherapy training and
• 1:00:01
  Azamara which is my breathwork training.
• 1:00:03
  OK so we. Touched on a lot of them.
• 1:00:05
  Yeah, yeah, you're. Going around the board, we
• 1:00:06
  didn't. Touch the Intimacy 1.
• 1:00:08
  So we did. We'll get.
• 1:00:09
  There. OK, Yeah, we did touch on that.
• 1:00:11
  We did not. We'll get there.
• 1:00:11
  OK. So going back to breath work, I,
• 1:00:14
  I was probably the least embodied person.
• 1:00:17
  I didn't want to live in my body.
• 1:00:18
  My body was not a nice place to be.
• 1:00:20
  I had gone through stuff growing up.
• 1:00:22
  My body carried memory of that stuff.
• 1:00:25
  Cancer being one of those things, right?
• 1:00:27
  I had a body that betrayed me, that wanted me dead.
• 1:00:30
  And I had to go through chemo. I have scars all over my body.
• 1:00:33
  My body wasn't a nice place to live.
• 1:00:35
  I remember when I was first diagnosed and thinking like,
• 1:00:39
  it's a weird thought when you're 16 and you're like, I might not
• 1:00:41
  have to be 17. That's so weird.
• 1:00:43
  I might not see my next Do you ever?
• 1:00:45
  I'm sorry to. Interrupt you?
• 1:00:45
  Yeah. I'm just very curious.
• 1:00:47
  By my own curiosity. Do you remember the first time
• 1:00:49
  you heard the news? And who was the one that told
• 1:00:52
  you? Of course.
• 1:00:53
  Who was it? Yeah.
• 1:00:55
  So I was in school and I had a lump in my neck and the first
• 1:01:00
  thing that came to mind was, I don't know if you remember the
• 1:01:02
  Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Sure.
• 1:01:04
  Were popular love of those books right?
• 1:01:05
  And it was. Always like dad had a lump in
• 1:01:07
  his neck and then he had cancer, then he died.
• 1:01:09
  So like I was like, oh, there's a lump in my neck.
• 1:01:11
  I'm dying. You know, it was my first
• 1:01:13
  thought. I ended up going for about two
• 1:01:16
  weeks of tests and scans because they want to rule out
• 1:01:18
  everything, right? It could be this, it could be
• 1:01:20
  that. And then I'm about two weeks in,
• 1:01:22
  I'm with my mom and we're in a hematologist's office.
• 1:01:25
  And I'm not an idiot. You know, hematology is, is
• 1:01:28
  blood cancer. It's blood diseases.
• 1:01:30
  And I'm there and there are bold kids in the waiting room.
• 1:01:32
  And my mother is like studiously not looking at them.
• 1:01:34
  And I'm like, there are bold kids here, like I'm not an
• 1:01:36
  idiot. And then I, I'm, I'm with my
• 1:01:40
  mother. And we, the doctor comes into
• 1:01:41
  the room and he comes in with an intern and they both look
• 1:01:44
  really, really serious. And the doctor says, I have news
• 1:01:51
  and my mother just gets very emotional.
• 1:01:52
  And when she starts crying and he says, so my heart's pounding
• 1:01:59
  as I'm saying this. He says, it looks like you have
• 1:02:02
  something called Hodgkin's lymphoma.
• 1:02:05
  And I say, oh, cool. And he says, do you know what
• 1:02:12
  Hodgkin's lymphoma is? And I say no.
• 1:02:17
  So he says, well, well, he told me, yeah, I have Hodgkins.
• 1:02:19
  And I said, I don't know what Hodgkins.
• 1:02:20
  He's like, well, and then he goes, well, it's a type of
• 1:02:22
  lymphoma. And I'm like keep.
• 1:02:24
  Going cool. He's like you, you don't know
• 1:02:27
  what lymphoma is, right? I'm like, no.
• 1:02:29
  So then he gets like really, really nervous and he starts
• 1:02:31
  like, you know, opening his buttons and he's like, well,
• 1:02:34
  well, so you have something called Hodgkin's, which, which
• 1:02:37
  it's a kind of lymphoma, which is a kind of cancer.
• 1:02:42
  And I'm like, cool, Yeah, cool. And then you knew we dropped
• 1:02:47
  that work, he says. Do you know?
• 1:02:48
  What cancer is? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:02:52
  So then the intern tells me he's like, can I ask you a personal
• 1:02:54
  question? And I'm like, I'm sitting here
• 1:02:59
  in a rope that I like to call the ICU.
• 1:03:01
  But if you'd like to get more personal in that, you know, go
• 1:03:03
  for it. He says the doctor just told you
• 1:03:05
  that you have cancer and you are looking at him like school was
• 1:03:08
  just cancelled. I'm like, it was, that was my
• 1:03:15
  reaction. So he turns to the doctor.
• 1:03:17
  He says you think she has a problem with her neck, You
• 1:03:18
  should probably check her head. I cried later.
• 1:03:21
  I cried later. It took me like 6 hours.
• 1:03:22
  I just cried because I was overwhelmed.
• 1:03:24
  I wasn't sad, I was just very overwhelmed.
• 1:03:26
  I had cancer twice. By the way, that was only my
• 1:03:28
  first time having cancer. I had cancer again three years
• 1:03:30
  ago. I'm not that type.
• 1:03:32
  I don't get sad. I got overwhelmed with a new you
• 1:03:35
  don't get. Sad you thrive.
• 1:03:38
  Are you kidding me? You don't just quit.
• 1:03:40
  You don't just that that a lot of people could say that would
• 1:03:43
  be amazing if you just keep yourself going, but you don't
• 1:03:45
  just keep yourself going. You accomplished.
• 1:03:47
  And Michael, you said at the beginning, you don't just learn
• 1:03:50
  and grow, you give back. I quote that when you said that
• 1:03:53
  you give back. You're out there teaching people
• 1:03:55
  and helping people and you have your own history.
• 1:04:01
  Amazing, absolutely inspiring. And twice a second time when
• 1:04:07
  when did you go into remission the first time?
• 1:04:09
  So. Going back to the question that
• 1:04:11
  I was telling you before, when I found out that I had cancer, I
• 1:04:14
  remember making this very strange internal decision.
• 1:04:18
  If I'm going to fight for my life, I better figure out why
• 1:04:23
  this life is worth fighting for. Because I was that typical 16
• 1:04:27
  year old kid who was not very happy with my life.
• 1:04:29
  I didn't really know what I want.
• 1:04:30
  Like I don't fit in anywhere. I was lonely.
• 1:04:32
  I'd been bullied a lot. I was in my 5th school in five
• 1:04:35
  years. I was there and I was just like,
• 1:04:37
  I'm not, what's the point? And then the doctor's like, you
• 1:04:41
  might die. And I'm like, so how do I feel
• 1:04:44
  about that? And if I'm going to do this, if
• 1:04:46
  I'm going to go through chemo, I better figure out why this life
• 1:04:50
  is worth living. And so it's not, it's not crazy
• 1:04:53
  to me that I ended up doing breath work even though I didn't
• 1:04:55
  want to, because breath work, it, it, it's not living in the
• 1:04:59
  mind, it's not even living in the heart.
• 1:05:01
  It's living in every breath that you take.
• 1:05:04
  Like this breath is meaningful. The cancer that I had, the chemo
• 1:05:07
  that I took actually scarred my lungs very badly.
• 1:05:10
  And they told me that I would never have full lung capacity in
• 1:05:12
  my like for the rest of my life. I proved that wrong.
• 1:05:15
  Like, I'm an athlete. I'm fine.
• 1:05:17
  I, I breathe better than anybody I know.
• 1:05:19
  And when you ask me like, what's the purpose?
• 1:05:21
  So becoming more embodied, I want to feel alive everywhere.
• 1:05:25
  I want to feel. I want you to feel more alive
• 1:05:29
  when you're standing next to me. I want this moment to be
• 1:05:32
  special. And it really is.
• 1:05:34
  I don't, I don't get bored. I don't believe that that life
• 1:05:37
  is mundane. There are no ordinary moments.
• 1:05:39
  Every moment is extraordinary. Every moment is an adventure.
• 1:05:43
  I do say Motaani differently than anybody else does.
• 1:05:46
  I still complain a lot. I still have my down days, but I
• 1:05:49
  love my down days. There's something about it like
• 1:05:51
  wow, I feel it differently. But when I started breath work,
• 1:05:54
  I wasn't living in my body. I feel like I was kind of
• 1:05:57
  following my body like 3 days behind.
• 1:05:59
  Like I was like, I would watch my head go through life and be
• 1:06:01
  like, hold on, you know, And then when I got into breath work
• 1:06:04
  by mistake, and we'll get to that in a second because I got
• 1:06:06
  there through intimacy counseling, which is really
• 1:06:08
  interesting. I resisted the training in
• 1:06:11
  breath work. I didn't sign up for it.
• 1:06:13
  Again, mistake. But there was this one moment
• 1:06:16
  where I felt like there's a part of me that landed in my body
• 1:06:19
  differently. And when I opened my eyes, I
• 1:06:22
  can't explain this better, but I, I was looking, I felt like I
• 1:06:26
  was looking out through my eyes, my, my eyes for the first time
• 1:06:29
  in my life. I don't know what how I was
• 1:06:31
  seeing life before, but I had opened my eyes and been like,
• 1:06:34
  these are my eyes I see now I'm really here.
• 1:06:38
  And I heard my body tell me welcome home.
• 1:06:40
  I had never felt at home in my body.
• 1:06:42
  And after that moment, I knew that this was something I had to
• 1:06:45
  bring more of. You know, if I don't know how
• 1:06:47
  much research, you said you did 5 minutes of research on me
• 1:06:49
  before I came on the podcast. But if you Google my name, I've
• 1:06:52
  been on a world stage since I'm 16, since I wrote the book.
• 1:06:55
  I wrote the book when I was 21, but I've been speaking on stages
• 1:06:58
  even before then. We didn't even get to.
• 1:06:59
  The third paragraph. But I'm loving it.
• 1:07:01
  I like it coming out naturally better.
• 1:07:03
  It's good so. If you research old videos of
• 1:07:06
  me, old podcast episodes of me, my voice is completely
• 1:07:10
  different. I do not sound like the same
• 1:07:12
  person. There's an evolution of
• 1:07:14
  consciousness growing up in the public eye because I have been
• 1:07:17
  the last 20 years of my life. I've been on stage and people
• 1:07:20
  have watched me grow up. They've watched me evolve.
• 1:07:22
  They've watched my voice change because it used to be, again,
• 1:07:26
  not that long ago, my voice is up here.
• 1:07:28
  Like, I would have done an entire podcast info interview,
• 1:07:31
  and I would have sounded like this.
• 1:07:32
  No way. Yeah.
• 1:07:32
  And you know what? You know what else You hear
• 1:07:34
  people talk like this all the time.
• 1:07:36
  So fine. You open up Instagram.
• 1:07:38
  Everybody on Instagram sounds like this.
• 1:07:40
  Probably you have anxiety, right?
• 1:07:43
  Wow, you know why you have? Anxiety because I'm.
• 1:07:46
  We're all vibratory beings. Yeah, our voice is coming from
• 1:07:50
  our voice. Also knowing it.
• 1:07:51
  Wasn't you? If you would have started off
• 1:07:52
  that way, you would have accepted it is my.
• 1:07:53
  Voice. Yeah, isn't that crazy.
• 1:07:55
  And when I do breath work, I always say I want to be the kind
• 1:07:58
  of person that people breathe better when they're with me.
• 1:08:03
  You just stopped breathing. You breathed worse when you
• 1:08:06
  heard my voice up there. And that's a very normal voice
• 1:08:09
  you hear lots of every seminary girl talks like this, right?
• 1:08:12
  And it's fine. But they all have anxiety.
• 1:08:14
  They don't know they have anxiety because they all sound
• 1:08:16
  fine. But then your voice drops, which
• 1:08:19
  means you're actually speaking from a deeper more.
• 1:08:22
  Yeah. Yeah, you're, you're more
• 1:08:23
  embodied and people around you hear it with their ears and feel
• 1:08:27
  it with their body. The minute I changed my voice,
• 1:08:30
  the person who spoke with that voice, I was powerful, I was
• 1:08:33
  smart, I was amazing. I was already changing the world
• 1:08:36
  and I was struggling internally. So now this is more confident.
• 1:08:40
  The confident exudes using this kind of confidence.
• 1:08:44
  Then, but differently, different, different kind of
• 1:08:46
  confidence, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:08:48
  It's like you're more in tune now, like I guess with your
• 1:08:51
  inner self. So the breath.
• 1:08:53
  Work training that I run. It's called a Xamara.
• 1:08:55
  Which is I will sing. It's all about tune attunement.
• 1:08:59
  Yeah, to me, frequent. That's why I noticed your your
• 1:09:02
  table when I walked in. Are you musical?
• 1:09:04
  I am. Frequency is sound, vibration,
• 1:09:07
  they're all part of this. I believe that breath is the
• 1:09:10
  song of creation. We're all singing a song all the
• 1:09:13
  time. But.
• 1:09:13
  Do you sing, like, musically Sing well, you know?
• 1:09:17
  Call Asia. But do you?
• 1:09:18
  I can sing, I can carry. Yeah.
• 1:09:19
  Yeah. Do you play any?
• 1:09:20
  Instruments. I do.
• 1:09:21
  Really. Yeah.
• 1:09:22
  Which ones? I have a bunch of different hand
• 1:09:25
  pants, two flutes, different kinds of flutes, so they're
• 1:09:28
  played a little differently. A flute.
• 1:09:30
  Huh. Yeah, not a.
• 1:09:30
  Flute. A drone.
• 1:09:31
  They're different. Flutes are this way, right?
• 1:09:34
  But I say flute because people just know what a flute is,
• 1:09:36
  right? What?
• 1:09:36
  What? Did you say it was?
• 1:09:37
  It's a drone. A drone.
• 1:09:38
  Yeah. So it's like a wooden flute and
• 1:09:40
  it has more than one chamber. Michael, do you?
• 1:09:42
  Know what that is? I just.
• 1:09:43
  Recently learnt about it yeah yeah, they sound they're.
• 1:09:45
  More woodsy. Pull it up to.
• 1:09:46
  Show him it's, it's interesting. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:49
  Instead of playing like this, you're playing like that, right?
• 1:09:51
  That's. Is that what you see in?
• 1:09:52
  India with the with the snake that's coming out of the thing
• 1:09:55
  they play. Yeah, that's usually.
• 1:09:57
  This way, yeah, it's in front of you versus yes, it's in.
• 1:09:59
  Front of you. Yeah, I have a liar, which is
• 1:10:02
  like a harp. I'm not very good at that. 1
• 1:10:04
  yet. And I'm starting the cello.
• 1:10:06
  Wow. So you like the the extreme
• 1:10:09
  instruments, like the things that act dramatically?
• 1:10:13
  Yeah, Yeah. Thanks.
• 1:10:14
  Yeah. Yeah, I can't.
• 1:10:16
  No, I went after the. Good old fashioned American
• 1:10:18
  guitar. You know we have keyboards.
• 1:10:20
  Too. Yeah, where was guitar?
• 1:10:22
  Invented. Was it invented in America?
• 1:10:24
  I don't know. We have Stefan for that.
• 1:10:25
  That can make sense. I think it's Google.
• 1:10:27
  Oh, he's. Looking, There's the drone.
• 1:10:28
  That's it. Yeah, that's the drones.
• 1:10:30
  Cool. Oh.
• 1:10:30
  I've seen that. I've seen that.
• 1:10:31
  That's very cool, yeah. So but again, that's it's just a
• 1:10:35
  private thing. Like I play music just for
• 1:10:37
  myself. Oh, OK.
• 1:10:38
  But so to me, frequency, sound and vibration are everything.
• 1:10:42
  So we're all giving off vibrations all the time.
• 1:10:44
  You just don't realize it, right?
• 1:10:46
  Your heart is vibrating, your nervous system is vibrating, and
• 1:10:49
  your vibratory field extends out around you.
• 1:10:52
  Like when the Kahman said you have 6 like Dalid almost right?
• 1:10:55
  That's Dalit Amos translates to about 6 feet.
• 1:10:58
  And science is telling us that our vibratory field actually
• 1:11:02
  surrounds us with a six foot bubble, which is crazy because
• 1:11:04
  that's what Dalit Amos is. And someone who's musically
• 1:11:07
  attuned can actually come into your field and pick up on the
• 1:11:11
  vibrations that you're exuding. And we can do one of two things.
• 1:11:15
  We can read them for you, like an antenna.
• 1:11:17
  Like what if I just went through your field and I kind of picked
• 1:11:19
  up on your thing? Like remember before when you
• 1:11:20
  were talking about the bodega, like where you bought the
• 1:11:22
  cigarettes? I'm like on 18th Ave. like I
• 1:11:24
  felt it off you. And, and we can do something
• 1:11:27
  else. We can introduce new frequencies
• 1:11:29
  that your body will accept. So when I was coming up, I
• 1:11:32
  taught the breath work training for a year and it didn't have a
• 1:11:34
  name. And we were thinking of a name.
• 1:11:36
  And then all of a sudden Azamra popped in because music and
• 1:11:39
  frequency and vibration are a big deal and, and I really like
• 1:11:43
  that. It was one of Rabin Ahmed's
• 1:11:44
  teachings about picking up the broken notes.
• 1:11:47
  Do you like? Study, do you learn 'cause I'm
• 1:11:50
  hearing now throughout this podcast a few times you're
• 1:11:52
  dropping some of these pearls of wisdom from like I think you
• 1:11:55
  mentioned the Khazonish or something earlier you mentioned
• 1:11:58
  somebody or it was a name or whatever, and then Shlo Mohammed
• 1:12:01
  Alik and then and this and the Gomara.
• 1:12:03
  Do you learn like in your spare time?
• 1:12:05
  I do what do you learn like well, we.
• 1:12:07
  Did ACM on the Sahara this morning you learned.
• 1:12:10
  The homosecles of Otazara Gomara.
• 1:12:13
  You kid by with who part? Of a sheer what?
• 1:12:16
  I'm part of a learning group. There's a.
• 1:12:18
  Collection of women that are sitting together learning
• 1:12:20
  Gamara. How dare you.
• 1:12:21
  I know. Right.
• 1:12:23
  No, this is. Just news that I did not know
• 1:12:24
  that this that women learn Gamara well.
• 1:12:28
  Yeah, Gamara is, I guess, a little bit different than what
• 1:12:30
  we're used to in our Michael 3. Quarters, I remember being in
• 1:12:33
  Israel shul don't learn Gamara. Yeah, yeah, OK.
• 1:12:35
  And I don't think learn. Anything more than who gives a?
• 1:12:37
  Sheer who? Who's who's?
• 1:12:40
  I learned with a women's group called Hadron and the the Rabini
• 1:12:43
  who teaches it. Her name is Rabini Michelle
• 1:12:45
  Farber. And you learn Rashi and Tosis
• 1:12:48
  and everything ish I mean. It's tough, Yomi.
• 1:12:50
  So it's faster, you know, But we do learn Rashi and a little bit
• 1:12:53
  of Tosis. Yeah, every day.
• 1:12:54
  Yep. How long is this going on for?
• 1:12:57
  I started. 18 months ago. You're kidding me.
• 1:13:01
  No, I. Started with Bevacama and I'm
• 1:13:05
  about in two weeks. I'll be finishing Saturday, but
• 1:13:07
  what what are? You getting out of this?
• 1:13:08
  What are you searching for? Like what?
• 1:13:09
  What is the enjoyment? I can't believe I'm speaking
• 1:13:11
  this. This might be the part that has
• 1:13:13
  to be edited out. I'm not sure.
• 1:13:14
  We can continue this conversation, but I don't really
• 1:13:15
  talk about this. I don't care.
• 1:13:16
  If we keep it in or not. For me personally, this is
• 1:13:18
  fascinating because thing though it's.
• 1:13:20
  Not how? How does this?
• 1:13:21
  Translate into relevant things for you, like how is this
• 1:13:24
  helping you in your in your a man has a mitzvah to learn, so
• 1:13:28
  he learns good more. It's part of it, you know, and
• 1:13:29
  there are some educational things you could take away,
• 1:13:31
  don't get me wrong, but like Avoda Zara, I don't know, like,
• 1:13:34
  what are you like what? What life lesson did you get
• 1:13:37
  that? I'm going to incorporate this.
• 1:13:38
  This is great. Or I'm a better person.
• 1:13:40
  She's trying to learn a life lesson.
• 1:13:42
  Why else would she be learning? Well, let's first answer that
• 1:13:44
  question. You find it stimulating, I.
• 1:13:47
  I just love it. I I don't even know how to
• 1:13:49
  answer that. I wish I had a more.
• 1:13:52
  I wish I had a better answer. Well, what drove?
• 1:13:54
  You to it, Why did you decide One day I would like to learn
• 1:13:56
  tomorrow. I think I had this itch for a
• 1:13:58
  long time. I was very intimidated by it.
• 1:14:01
  I had some learning difficulties growing up, specifically with
• 1:14:04
  reading Hebrew, reading anything.
• 1:14:06
  I can read very well from left to right.
• 1:14:09
  I didn't know it at the time that the issue that my brain was
• 1:14:11
  having was reading from right to left and people thought I was
• 1:14:15
  faking it because I'm so smart and I never had a problem
• 1:14:18
  reading. But Hebrew just was so
• 1:14:21
  frustrating to me. It took me really until one of
• 1:14:24
  my children was struggling again 30 years later to realize that
• 1:14:28
  there's new research out there and apparently it's a thing that
• 1:14:31
  nobody knew about when I was a kid.
• 1:14:33
  I could not wait to leave high school and be like, I never want
• 1:14:36
  to open a Hamish again. It's not my subject.
• 1:14:38
  I really flunked out of all Hebrew subjects.
• 1:14:41
  And then you. Discovered why?
• 1:14:43
  Yeah. Yeah, I still have.
• 1:14:45
  I I can't believe I'm saying this out loud.
• 1:14:46
  I'm feeling a little nauseous even talking about this because
• 1:14:48
  I'm. So this is my.
• 1:14:49
  Hypnotic that I'm doing. Me now I'm very private about
• 1:14:54
  this piece because I still, I haven't figured it out and it's
• 1:14:57
  like scary for me to talk about it also because I love it so
• 1:15:00
  much and I don't know why because I feel like an idiot.
• 1:15:03
  I show up every morning and I don't know what I'm doing.
• 1:15:05
  It's 18 months and I still feel like I'm barely keeping my head
• 1:15:08
  above water. But I, I, I, so it's a
• 1:15:10
  challenge. You like the challenge?
• 1:15:11
  Can I ask you is? That your first exposure to
• 1:15:13
  learning since high school or was there something else prior
• 1:15:16
  to that? So till 2. 1016 I don't think I
• 1:15:18
  read a single educational book. I read novels, only novels.
• 1:15:22
  In 2016 something switched, I don't know what it was.
• 1:15:24
  I picked up a book by accident, fell in love with it, wanted to
• 1:15:28
  know more, remember what it was. Yep, it was called The Language
• 1:15:30
  of Emotions by Carla McLaren. She really had a great way of
• 1:15:34
  breaking down every single emotion, what it's there for,
• 1:15:37
  the movement in the body, kind of tied into what I said about
• 1:15:39
  Mel Gibson and the different breaths, right?
• 1:15:41
  Tied in over there. To this day, that book is very
• 1:15:43
  foundational in this, one of the courses that I teach a vessel,
• 1:15:46
  which is on self development, the third module in vessel is
• 1:15:49
  called The Language of Emotions, which is the name of her book.
• 1:15:52
  It's built on that. I mean, there's more hushkafa
• 1:15:54
  put in because Torah also has different words for every
• 1:15:57
  emotion. Like there's like 17 words for
• 1:15:59
  anger because there's many different kinds of anger, right?
• 1:16:03
  And if you know the different breakdown of which angers and,
• 1:16:06
  and when they're used and what, how they move through the body,
• 1:16:10
  you understand. And not all anger is the same.
• 1:16:12
  Some is healthy. There's an appropriate time to
• 1:16:14
  use the different kinds of anger, right?
• 1:16:16
  They have a different breath patterns.
• 1:16:17
  These things were fascinating to me, but I didn't like learn,
• 1:16:21
  learn. In fact, in 2012, my daughter
• 1:16:25
  was rejected from every like, nursery school in Brooklyn
• 1:16:29
  because it's really hard to get your kids.
• 1:16:30
  Jesus starts. Already at nursery it does where
• 1:16:32
  they start like being selective at which kids are taking it out.
• 1:16:35
  My God, yeah. So I was very, I was very
• 1:16:39
  disillusioned with with Judaism, not as a religion, but as in why
• 1:16:43
  am I here? Like, this is not, this is not
• 1:16:47
  like what? Yeah, yeah, I was, I was not, I
• 1:16:49
  was not a fan. Not a fan.
• 1:16:51
  And I was very, I was so unhappy.
• 1:16:54
  It was a very difficult time in my life.
• 1:16:56
  I was also pregnant with my third.
• 1:16:58
  And he was a miracle baby because after cancer, I knew
• 1:17:01
  that every baby was going to be a gift.
• 1:17:03
  But after our second, we were told we would never have more
• 1:17:06
  kids. And so this third child was was
• 1:17:08
  an actual miracle. Like the doctors didn't know we
• 1:17:10
  like, we we could never get, like we couldn't get pregnant.
• 1:17:13
  Oh, we had a fourth child after that after 10 years.
• 1:17:15
  Yeah, another miracle child. But I remember being pregnant
• 1:17:18
  with this miracle child when my daughter wasn't getting accepted
• 1:17:20
  into school and thinking, why am I doing this?
• 1:17:23
  Yeah, like what it like, what is this guy?
• 1:17:26
  I fought for this life. I fought for these kids.
• 1:17:28
  And then they can't even go to Jewish school.
• 1:17:30
  So I was very disillusioned. It's one of the.
• 1:17:32
  Darker things in our culture is when it comes to schools.
• 1:17:35
  And by the way, I want to go back a minute to the thing about
• 1:17:39
  the GOMAR, but I don't want you to think no, no, but I want to.
• 1:17:41
  I want to clarify something. I'm A and Michael knows this and
• 1:17:44
  I've said it on this podcast. So I have proof.
• 1:17:46
  I am a big advocate for women doing anything a man can do, and
• 1:17:50
  I want my daughters to to know that their path is open for
• 1:17:53
  anything. I don't care what it is.
• 1:17:55
  So I'm all for. I just find it so interesting
• 1:17:59
  that out of all the things you want to do that a man does, this
• 1:18:02
  is what you chose to follow. That's all.
• 1:18:04
  That's all I was a point to get. I I was like a little surprised.
• 1:18:07
  I I didn't know. I hope I didn't come across.
• 1:18:08
  Let's say this together. Let's say this together.
• 1:18:10
  We. Listen and we don't judge.
• 1:18:12
  We listen and. We don't judge.
• 1:18:14
  OK, don't worry, you're good. So.
• 1:18:16
  At that time, I remember feeling like I need to really reframe my
• 1:18:19
  Judaism the same way when I was 16.
• 1:18:21
  And I said, what is this life that I'm fighting for?
• 1:18:23
  In 2012, I had to ask myself, what is this Judaism that I'm
• 1:18:27
  fighting for? Why am I fighting so hard to get
• 1:18:29
  my kid into a Jewish school? I can send her to public school.
• 1:18:32
  So that was a new question that, you know, you're talking about
• 1:18:33
  being a seeker. It was a new question that I had
• 1:18:36
  to ask. So I called up partners in
• 1:18:38
  Torah, and I said, give me a partner in Torah.
• 1:18:40
  And they were like, so cool. Yeah, we're going to assign you
• 1:18:43
  to some college kid. Unaffiliated.
• 1:18:44
  I'm like, no, I'm the unaffiliated Jew.
• 1:18:48
  So they actually, they actually did assign me to some college
• 1:18:51
  kid and we studied parsha for three years.
• 1:18:54
  Parsha from the little Medrash says the simplest kids version
• 1:18:57
  of parsha. And as I'm reading this every
• 1:18:59
  Wednesday night for three years, I'm like, I know nothing there.
• 1:19:03
  I, I, I coined a term at that time called Cinderella Judaism
• 1:19:07
  because my daughter at the time when I was struggling, she was
• 1:19:10
  434. And weirdly, I don't know why
• 1:19:14
  the Disney stories that we grew up on that we took for granted,
• 1:19:18
  I didn't give them to my kids. So I didn't realize, like, I
• 1:19:21
  took, you know, we take Cinderella for granted.
• 1:19:24
  And I remember my daughter had this, you know, a pack of
• 1:19:27
  underwear that had a different Disney Princess on each one.
• 1:19:30
  And I opened it up for her. And I'm like Cinderella.
• 1:19:32
  And she's like, I don't know who you're talking about it.
• 1:19:34
  I'm like, my, my, my kid doesn't know who Cinderella is.
• 1:19:37
  I'm going to tell you right now. And I get prepared to tell her
• 1:19:39
  the story of Cinderella. And I'm like, there was a girl
• 1:19:41
  and her mommy died and my kids like, that's terrible.
• 1:19:45
  Bachelor. Yeah.
• 1:19:45
  I'm like, no, no, no, it gets better.
• 1:19:47
  Her father remarry to a terrible stepmother.
• 1:19:49
  She's like, what? When's the good part?
• 1:19:51
  When's the good part right? And I keep going and she's like,
• 1:19:53
  mommy, I really don't want to hear the story.
• 1:19:55
  It's not a very good story. I'm like, no, no, hold on, it
• 1:19:57
  gets better. And then I tell her about the
• 1:19:59
  fairy Godmother. Fairy godmother comes, makes
• 1:20:02
  everything all better, gives Cinderella glass slippers.
• 1:20:06
  And she looks at me and she says, Mommy, we cannot step on
• 1:20:08
  glass. We are going to cut ourselves.
• 1:20:10
  I'm like, Oh my God, she's right.
• 1:20:11
  This is a terrible story. This doesn't make sense at all.
• 1:20:15
  And we've never asked these questions.
• 1:20:17
  We've just accepted. And I realized that for me,
• 1:20:19
  Judaism was another version of Cinderella.
• 1:20:22
  I had not learned Judaism properly since I had been in
• 1:20:25
  kindergarten. You learn parsha for the first
• 1:20:28
  time in kindergarten when you're not old enough to think.
• 1:20:30
  And then you just accept these things and you don't ask these
• 1:20:32
  questions. And I'm like, I need to start
• 1:20:34
  asking questions. So I went back to parsha.
• 1:20:36
  That was the first thing. From there I can't even begin to
• 1:20:39
  tell you because it evolved over certain years, but I never
• 1:20:42
  considered myself someone who learns.
• 1:20:43
  I don't learn. I'm not interested in learning.
• 1:20:46
  That was a temporary blip on my radar.
• 1:20:49
  But then like 18 months ago, it started a little earlier.
• 1:20:51
  Actually, about two years ago, Gemara started coming into my
• 1:20:54
  field of awareness and I, it just was like, I can't explain
• 1:20:57
  it. It was just like it wouldn't let
• 1:21:00
  go. And I was like, I don't like, I
• 1:21:02
  barely read. I can't do this.
• 1:21:04
  I don't know what you're talking.
• 1:21:05
  I just don't. I was so, but you know, it was
• 1:21:08
  like the Yona and Ninvay again. I couldn't, it was a calling and
• 1:21:11
  I couldn't ignore it. And then I was scrolling YouTube
• 1:21:14
  one day and some video popped up out of the blue.
• 1:21:17
  I guess you know, Google's hearing.
• 1:21:19
  They knows. They knows.
• 1:21:20
  And they put out this challenge learning Masakhat Megillah.
• 1:21:26
  I know everyone laughs when I say Masakhat because I'm from
• 1:21:28
  Bora Park and I speak like I'm, you know, Modocs.
• 1:21:30
  But that's where I'm learning. So that's where my language, you
• 1:21:32
  know, that's where my it goes from.
• 1:21:35
  But it's it's a 30 day challenge.
• 1:21:36
  It was an extra odor that year. And they said there's 32 well,
• 1:21:41
  31 Dafim of Misaka Megillah. We have an extra month.
• 1:21:44
  Let's do 30 daf 31 Dafim in time for perm.
• 1:21:48
  And and I was looking at it and there were, you know, it was
• 1:21:51
  women and the line that got to me is a sheer a daf sheer is 45
• 1:21:56
  minutes a day. It's roughly the amount of time
• 1:21:59
  you spend watching an episode on Netflix.
• 1:22:01
  I was like, I never thought about it that way.
• 1:22:04
  Like it's so easy to just waste 45 minutes on Netflix so.
• 1:22:07
  Easy. Yeah.
• 1:22:08
  Oh God, 45 minutes. On Netflix?
• 1:22:09
  Oh, it's nothing. It's nothing.
• 1:22:11
  Great. So I was like, I can do that.
• 1:22:14
  And I started and I fell in love.
• 1:22:16
  And when I finished those 30 days of Megillah, just around
• 1:22:19
  that time they were starting Buffa Mezia.
• 1:22:22
  And I just couldn't imagine after those 30 days of Megillah,
• 1:22:25
  just I wasn't ready to give it up.
• 1:22:27
  So I continued with Buffa Mezia and I was like, I'm just
• 1:22:29
  listening to the share. That's all I'm doing.
• 1:22:31
  That's all I'm doing. And then when we started Bubba
• 1:22:33
  Basra, I was like, I think I'm in.
• 1:22:35
  And that's when I bought my first Gamora.
• 1:22:38
  And then where did you get? Your first, you get it online,
• 1:22:41
  you went to Eichlers. Like what did you do with
• 1:22:43
  Eichlers? You went.
• 1:22:43
  To Eichlers, yeah, now their. Subscription program.
• 1:22:45
  They just have it delivered to my, you know, they don't.
• 1:22:47
  No one looks twice. They're, you know.
• 1:22:49
  Joking. Yeah.
• 1:22:50
  And then? Halfway through Bubba Basra I
• 1:22:52
  realized I think I'm in it for the long haul.
• 1:22:54
  And how would I feel finishing Cedar Nazekin when I started in
• 1:22:57
  the middle? I have to go back to Buba Kama.
• 1:22:59
  So this entire winter I did buba Basra in the morning with my
• 1:23:02
  tafiomi and buba Kama at night because I've had My son's bar
• 1:23:05
  mitzvah was this year, so I wanted to finish buba Kama in
• 1:23:07
  time for his bar mitzvah. Are you making?
• 1:23:08
  Siims. Also like are women allowed to
• 1:23:11
  make siims? I made ACM.
• 1:23:12
  This morning, I don't know. You have a shot of tequila.
• 1:23:13
  We can do it. You made.
• 1:23:14
  ACM this morning. Oh mazel tov.
• 1:23:16
  Tov to you. Thank you.
• 1:23:16
  Congratulations like. You said the whole thing, the,
• 1:23:18
  the and. And all that stuff.
• 1:23:22
  What is going on over here? I feel like I'm in the Twilight
• 1:23:25
  Zone right now literally because I feel like I should be learning
• 1:23:29
  more. And you're literally like, what
• 1:23:32
  else is going on in your life? Like, what are you hiding other
• 1:23:35
  things from us? So far I've been an open.
• 1:23:37
  Book, I've answered every question you had, but you asked
• 1:23:39
  me what keeps me there. I don't know.
• 1:23:41
  I feel like there's also, it's very deeply psychological like
• 1:23:44
  like Talmud. I know the rabbis in the room
• 1:23:46
  would hate when I say this, but I'm like understanding who these
• 1:23:48
  voices are, what made them say the things they say?
• 1:23:51
  What did they know what caused them to what were the goings on
• 1:23:55
  at the time that caused them to determine how in that way to
• 1:23:57
  have these conversations? I literally feel that I'm
• 1:24:00
  sneaking into the back of the base measures where I'm not
• 1:24:02
  allowed to be. And I'm hearing all of these
• 1:24:03
  voices and I'm like, I just want to know.
• 1:24:06
  I just want to hear what you're talking about.
• 1:24:07
  I want to hear what you're thinking.
• 1:24:09
  And again, because I'm a woman and because I'm coming at this
• 1:24:12
  much later in life, I do have a different view because I'm not
• 1:24:15
  conditioned into this Cinderella Judaism since I'm, you know, a
• 1:24:18
  case of Dalit, right? So to me, it's just like, tell
• 1:24:22
  me more. There's so much I don't know and
• 1:24:23
  I enjoy feeling a little bit like an idiot.
• 1:24:25
  I sit there in the morning and it's it's literally what gets me
• 1:24:28
  out of it. I don't start my day before
• 1:24:30
  learning, so I wake up extra early to get that done.
• 1:24:33
  And I'm just, I hope I never lose that love.
• 1:24:37
  I haven't. I'll tell you what, I'm jealous.
• 1:24:39
  Of you. You're having a better time than
• 1:24:41
  I am, and I feel like you're getting more out of this than a
• 1:24:44
  lot of men are, and that's unbelievable.
• 1:24:47
  And you're also looking at some such a mature perspective.
• 1:24:49
  Like you genuinely want to know. I want to know like you're in it
• 1:24:52
  to win it. You're in this because, like,
• 1:24:55
  there's a lot of knowledge out there and you're thirsty for it.
• 1:24:58
  And this is what I think it was all the meant for.
• 1:25:00
  I mean, there's pearls of wisdom all over the place in the
• 1:25:03
  Gamara. That's what any businessman, you
• 1:25:05
  know, they always say, oh, he has a Gamara cup.
• 1:25:06
  Makes sense. Something about it.
• 1:25:08
  Right, because. There's so much intricacies, so
• 1:25:11
  much like really crazy things like thought processes and all
• 1:25:15
  that that only comes from the Gemara and, and you're tapping
• 1:25:18
  into that and with your background as the psychoanalysis
• 1:25:22
  that only you can do. I feel like you guys are
• 1:25:25
  speaking each other's languages. And it's almost like this was
• 1:25:27
  built for Someone Like You, right?
• 1:25:29
  So there. Was something that came up a
• 1:25:31
  week ago on Dafai and Aleph that they had this conversation of
• 1:25:36
  it's, it's about Yayin Nessach, right?
• 1:25:38
  Wine from idol worshippers. So if, if they touched the wine,
• 1:25:41
  if they saw the wine, right, if they opened the wine, all of
• 1:25:44
  the, if the wine mixed, all these different questions about
• 1:25:46
  what would happen with the wine. So there was this mission that
• 1:25:48
  says, OK, if, if a band of soldiers came in and they opened
• 1:25:51
  up all the caskets of wine at the same right?
• 1:25:53
  Are they allowed or are they not allowed?
• 1:25:55
  And the question is, is wartime or is it not wartime, right?
• 1:25:58
  Because sometimes they have a thirst and sometimes they're
• 1:25:59
  just, they're just looking to loot and steal.
• 1:26:01
  So the question, there's a question about that.
• 1:26:03
  So they compared it to another mission about, you know,
• 1:26:05
  sexuality. Do we have to worry that the
• 1:26:07
  soldiers are making, are, are destroying all the women in
• 1:26:09
  town? Could they marry upon and
• 1:26:11
  whatever? And there there is it wartime?
• 1:26:13
  Is it not wartime? And then Rev Mary pops up and
• 1:26:16
  says, no, you don't. That's not the same thing with
• 1:26:19
  sexuality. You never ask this question
• 1:26:20
  because that thirst is never abated.
• 1:26:23
  And I was like, wait, Rev Mary was born out of that kind of
• 1:26:26
  relationship. He's Schmool's grandson who's
• 1:26:29
  was was born out of rape. His mother was raped by a
• 1:26:33
  nobleman by and and so he had a non Jewish father.
• 1:26:36
  And again, there's two Rev Marys in the Talmud and we don't know
• 1:26:39
  which one doesn't say which which of Mary is talking.
• 1:26:41
  But both Rev Marys in the Talmud had a non Jewish father.
• 1:26:43
  And I'm like, I can't believe no one's talking about this, so I
• 1:26:46
  can't even. Believe it.
• 1:26:47
  I just heard this for the very first time.
• 1:26:49
  I'm like I I can you start coming?
• 1:26:51
  Can you come to my room, please? Can you start giving cheers in
• 1:26:53
  the morning, Mary? Never.
• 1:26:54
  Gets mentioned in it Masaka Devotezara.
• 1:26:56
  His name doesn't come up as far as I remember.
• 1:26:57
  He almost I never heard his name in Masaka Devotezara.
• 1:26:59
  He's you keep saying. What Rev Mary Mary.
• 1:27:01
  Mary, Mary. Mary.
• 1:27:02
  Yeah. Who's Mary?
• 1:27:04
  That's his name. He's schmools, not.
• 1:27:06
  Remyer No, no, no. Mary.
• 1:27:08
  Like mem ray should. Yep, I never.
• 1:27:11
  Did you ever hear of Mary before?
• 1:27:12
  Don't look. At me, I mean.
• 1:27:14
  Like you know what's never called me?
• 1:27:17
  Eerie. Maybe I'm learning.
• 1:27:19
  With a different. Yeah, right.
• 1:27:22
  So. I'm not.
• 1:27:23
  Yeah, like now we're learning, like the next we're starting
• 1:27:25
  tomorrow, we're starting horiotes.
• 1:27:26
  And my friends are like, you mean Harias?
• 1:27:28
  I'm like, I don't know, am I supposed to say hariotes?
• 1:27:30
  Feel like I'm going to go with what works.
• 1:27:32
  So, Michael, I have to say. We must do Part 2 opens.
• 1:27:36
  His mouth I would like. For you to come back, there was
• 1:27:38
  way more to uncover. I think we just scratched the
• 1:27:41
  surface is really what I feel like.
• 1:27:42
  We don't even know who you are, where you came from, nothing.
• 1:27:46
  We don't think about you. And I feel like I'm your friend
• 1:27:47
  already. I feel like we should exchange
• 1:27:49
  numbers and and you have to because you're.
• 1:27:51
  Going to text me in 2 weeks about the cigarette.
• 1:27:53
  About the cigarettes. Exactly.
• 1:27:54
  It was really a pleasure to meet you.
• 1:27:55
  My pleasure. Honestly, it was amazing.
• 1:27:58
  And by the way, you're an inspiration.
• 1:28:00
  Just so you know, does not go unnoticed about the difficulties
• 1:28:03
  that you had to overcome and the challenges that you faced.
• 1:28:06
  And let this be a lesson and let this for all the viewers, for
• 1:28:09
  anybody out there that has any challenge that's even remotely
• 1:28:12
  close to the challenges you had to face.
• 1:28:14
  You can do anything. You can be anyone and you can
• 1:28:16
  help everyone. And you're a testament to that.
• 1:28:19
  So I respect you. I really do.
• 1:28:21
  I admire everything that you've accomplished so far and continue
• 1:28:25
  to. It sounds like you were never
• 1:28:26
  happy. The book is still being written.
• 1:28:28
  I'm always. Happy, always happy.
• 1:28:30
  There's always more. I never talk about my Talmud
• 1:28:31
  learning in public. I.
• 1:28:33
  Don't know. You know what?
• 1:28:34
  Look, there is a lot of people that would say women have no
• 1:28:37
  place learning tomorrow, I still think.
• 1:28:38
  I have no place learning tomorrow, So what?
• 1:28:40
  Where do you think that comes from?
• 1:28:43
  I, I, I have to argue with it. I mean, there are many women
• 1:28:46
  mentioned in the Gemara. Obviously they're outnumbered by
• 1:28:50
  men, but there are smart women mentioned the Gemara who learn
• 1:28:55
  Buria Yalta, right? They have, they have names.
• 1:28:59
  They have personalities of his daughter is mentioned more than
• 1:29:02
  any other woman in Talmud. She doesn't have a name, but she
• 1:29:05
  was married to two Talmuda Kahman Rava and Robbie Rami
• 1:29:07
  Barkhana. Sorry, I'm saying Rabba
• 1:29:10
  Barkhana. I mean, Rabba Rami Barkhama and
• 1:29:15
  like, she's very well regarded in the Talmud.
• 1:29:17
  Women in Talmud in general are well regarded taking into
• 1:29:20
  account the times, right, the time period and the roles that
• 1:29:23
  women played. I don't, I don't, I think the,
• 1:29:26
  the line that gets quoted most often is rebel Yazer Ben Harkin
• 1:29:29
  as saying teach your daughter Torah.
• 1:29:32
  You're teaching her typhilis. You're teaching her promiscuity.
• 1:29:34
  What people are not say we're not realizing is that it's taken
• 1:29:37
  out of context. I believe it's in Gamara.
• 1:29:39
  So does Duff huff. And the context that it's in is
• 1:29:44
  that in the time of the soda, the woman who was accused of
• 1:29:46
  adultery and she was given the bitter waters, if the bitter
• 1:29:49
  waters didn't work on her, what she was told is the merit of the
• 1:29:53
  Torah that you learn, that it's protecting you.
• 1:29:57
  And so revel, yes, I said don't say this because if you're
• 1:29:59
  teaching the daughters that they can learn Torah and they'll be
• 1:30:02
  protected from the bitter waters, they're going to be able
• 1:30:05
  to learn Torah and protect themselves and do whatever they
• 1:30:06
  want. But that's not the truth of
• 1:30:08
  don't teach your daughters Torah.
• 1:30:10
  He said it in the context of this one thing.
• 1:30:12
  But I feel like for me, learning is this is the Judaism on the
• 1:30:16
  fight I'm fighting for, right? I'm not fighting that women
• 1:30:19
  should learn Gamara. To me, it's like if you love
• 1:30:21
  bacon Cogel, if if you're a great mommy to your kids, if if
• 1:30:25
  this is the life that you love, if you're not a seeker, don't
• 1:30:28
  it's not for you. I'm not a feminist like, oh, I'm
• 1:30:31
  not like that. I don't even believe that all
• 1:30:33
  the men have to learn Talmud. I think this thing of every man
• 1:30:37
  has to be in Yoshi. It's very new.
• 1:30:39
  I think it's like under 100 years old, right?
• 1:30:41
  In the times of our grandparents in the shtetl, not everybody
• 1:30:44
  went to yeshiva, not everybody learned.
• 1:30:46
  The idea of marrying a learning boy was like, you had one
• 1:30:49
  phenomenal learner in the town, right?
• 1:30:52
  If the town had one kid that was accepted to the yeshiva, the
• 1:30:55
  whole town celebrated their Eloy of the town, the genius of the
• 1:30:58
  town. So this whole way that we
• 1:31:00
  navigate the education system, it's an education system that
• 1:31:02
  was designed by the Industrial Revolution, basically create
• 1:31:05
  factory workers, create assembly line workers.
• 1:31:07
  We've created an assembly line Torah, right?
• 1:31:10
  Everybody has to fit the mold. That's never what Torah was.
• 1:31:13
  I have discovered a way that lights me up.
• 1:31:15
  I feel so terrible almost talking about this in public
• 1:31:19
  because it lights me up and I'm so scared of losing that love.
• 1:31:23
  Like what if like it's almost like it's so private that I want
• 1:31:26
  to know that I will love it forever because I'm very lit up
• 1:31:30
  by life itself. But there are very few things
• 1:31:31
  that just are. So I don't know that there are
• 1:31:33
  so personal to me. Like it's my guilty pleasure.
• 1:31:35
  It's so well the only. Person that can shut it down is
• 1:31:37
  you yourself. So what are you afraid of?
• 1:31:39
  No, but. Like I I almost still can't
• 1:31:41
  believe how much I love it. What are you afraid?
• 1:31:42
  Of, though I'm not sure I get that if I lost.
• 1:31:44
  It why? Why would?
• 1:31:45
  You lose it. You're in control of what you
• 1:31:47
  learn, no? It's not about learning, is it?
• 1:31:49
  Growing up in an environment where women shouldn't be
• 1:31:51
  learning to. Is that what you're thinking
• 1:31:53
  about the way I? Loved Torah the way I learnt
• 1:31:55
  Torah growing up. Did not feel like love to me and
• 1:31:58
  still I'm not sure why. Why?
• 1:32:00
  Why? Fight it right I'm.
• 1:32:01
  Not fighting it, but that's why I don't speak about it in
• 1:32:03
  public. I think it's cool.
• 1:32:04
  To speak about it, I mean, I hope we can release this part of
• 1:32:08
  the discussion some. I hope we can celebrate.
• 1:32:10
  My Siam Ashas in a few years. That would be amazing.
• 1:32:13
  You'll be the only woman at the Siema Shots.
• 1:32:15
  We had someone here who was the producer for the Siema Shots.
• 1:32:17
  That's so cool. And we'll ask him to get you a
• 1:32:19
  seat in the next 1. I don't know.
• 1:32:20
  I don't. Know how they feel about people
• 1:32:22
  like me? Because, again, I think, you
• 1:32:23
  know, a lot of the men that I meet, they have been striking.
• 1:32:26
  They have been working hard. Yeah.
• 1:32:27
  They've been smacked by their rabium since they're eight years
• 1:32:29
  old. They're like, what are you
• 1:32:31
  doing? Like you don't put it.
• 1:32:33
  Yeah. You don't know.
• 1:32:33
  It's alright. I think we'll.
• 1:32:34
  Save this part for Round 2 and I really invite you to take us up
• 1:32:39
  on that offer and come back and have this continued discussion.
• 1:32:42
  And until then, we'll hear all the feedback from people and
• 1:32:44
  what they say about what could be the challenge of it.
• 1:32:47
  But you know, I'm, I'm actually, I want to say I'm very happy for
• 1:32:50
  you. You know, I learned a few years
• 1:32:53
  ago, someone taught me the idea of instead of saying to my kids,
• 1:32:57
  I'm proud of you, to start saying a little bit that I'm
• 1:33:00
  happy for you. So in this kind of context, I
• 1:33:02
  would say I'm both, but I don't want to sound, you know, you
• 1:33:07
  know, off here by saying I'm proud of you.
• 1:33:08
  What am I to be proud of you? But I'm happy for you that
• 1:33:11
  you're on the, you know, journey of finding what you love and
• 1:33:15
  doing it. No one can take that away from
• 1:33:16
  you. So I wouldn't be afraid of
• 1:33:17
  sharing it simply because like an iron.
• 1:33:19
  Horror piece like off people know how much I loved it maybe
• 1:33:22
  like lightning is going to strike from the sky or if.
• 1:33:24
  People know how much you loved it and how good it's doing for
• 1:33:26
  you. It might do good for them.
• 1:33:27
  Do you know how many? Weird nightmares I have with
• 1:33:30
  people running away with Megamara.
• 1:33:32
  I know it sounds crazy. It's like literally it's the
• 1:33:34
  nightwear that I wake up most often from.
• 1:33:36
  Where's Megamara? You know you're.
• 1:33:38
  Definitely one out of a trillion, right?
• 1:33:40
  I don't think anyone's ever having those kind of nightmares.
• 1:33:42
  I cannot believe. I'm saying I do either.
• 1:33:43
  Way I think it's awesome and I hope we can share this.
• 1:33:46
  And I think that the idea of what you're doing in general in
• 1:33:48
  life is to help others and by talking about finding your
• 1:33:52
  passion, regardless of whether it's Gemara or Hamish or
• 1:33:56
  something to learn from and open your eyes to that and really
• 1:34:00
  live a fulfilling life passionate about.
• 1:34:02
  Laundry. I'm not joking.
• 1:34:04
  Like anything, as long as something lights you up.
• 1:34:08
  What are you passionate? About laundry.
• 1:34:09
  You like the smell? You like cleaning?
• 1:34:11
  What is it you know there's? Something very soothing about
• 1:34:14
  folding laundry and folding them into these perfect OCD piles.
• 1:34:17
  I wouldn't. Know I wouldn't know yeah, the.
• 1:34:19
  Smell. Getting your laundry to smell
• 1:34:20
  right. It's important, yeah.
• 1:34:23
  I'm not just. Passionate about intellectual
• 1:34:24
  subjects. I'm just passionate about.
• 1:34:26
  I get to live this life. Yeah, this life is important.
• 1:34:28
  Yeah, that's. Beautiful.
• 1:34:29
  And you know, we do usually ask people in the middle of the
• 1:34:32
  podcast to share a message. What would that message be for
• 1:34:35
  you? You know, if you had, if you had
• 1:34:37
  that opportunity for one specific message of growth or
• 1:34:40
  whatever it is that you can talk about, what would that be a
• 1:34:43
  specific message to the listeners?
• 1:34:46
  Wow, I know that this is like a very standard question and I
• 1:34:53
  should have like a very glib response rolling off my tongue.
• 1:34:59
  The thing that pops into my mind right now is stop focusing on
• 1:35:03
  the big things and focus on the smallest things because they
• 1:35:08
  matter the most for me. Taking one breath at a time, it
• 1:35:12
  really matters. The world can wait.
• 1:35:17
  Everything that you're dealing with, right?
• 1:35:18
  Like there's a famous line. If this is not going to matter
• 1:35:22
  in five years, don't spend more than 5 minutes on it, right?
• 1:35:26
  It's not 100% true 100% of the time, but it's a good line.
• 1:35:29
  But you know what will matter? This breath that you're taking
• 1:35:33
  right now. Because if you don't take this
• 1:35:35
  breath, your life is over. And I know it sounds like the
• 1:35:38
  smallest thing that you can be doing, but that's the message
• 1:35:42
  sometimes, like when I was 16, when you're 16, you think you're
• 1:35:46
  on top of the world. You think you have it all
• 1:35:48
  figured out. You're not talking to your
• 1:35:49
  parents because they're dumb and you're smart and, and, and you
• 1:35:52
  have this vision for who you are, who you think you are, what
• 1:35:55
  your, what life you're going to lead.
• 1:35:56
  And then it's like, Nope, actually, that's gone.
• 1:36:01
  The person you thought you were, that's gone.
• 1:36:02
  The body that you thought you lived in is going to change
• 1:36:05
  forever. Your health is going to change.
• 1:36:08
  Your friends are going to everything is going to change.
• 1:36:11
  You can't control any of it. What's required of you is to be
• 1:36:14
  right here, right now. This moment is the only moment
• 1:36:18
  that matters because every other moment that you're going to live
• 1:36:22
  is predicated on this one. You can't have a future without
• 1:36:25
  your now. So focus on your now.
• 1:36:28
  I worry a lot because I'm a mom. Like, that's what we do.
• 1:36:31
  That's we're supposed to worry, right?
• 1:36:33
  And my kids don't need me to worry about their future.
• 1:36:37
  My kids need me to be here with them right now.
• 1:36:40
  So even though I had a million things to do because I'm running
• 1:36:43
  a training next week and I have a million things on my head.
• 1:36:46
  Last night I spent two hours watching a movie with my kid
• 1:36:48
  because that's what she needed. And it was a great two hours
• 1:36:53
  because that's what the now demanded.
• 1:36:55
  Everything else can wait. Everything else will get there,
• 1:36:58
  but this moment is the only one you can control.
• 1:37:00
  And if this was the last moment I ever spent on earth, would it
• 1:37:03
  matter? Would someone look at this
• 1:37:05
  moment and said this was a great one?
• 1:37:08
  Wow, for someone who didn't have a message, that's pretty darn
• 1:37:10
  good. Thank you, I appreciate that.
• 1:37:14
  Who would you recommend to sit in this seat for the podcast?
• 1:37:17
  That's one of the things that we don't let you go without picking
• 1:37:20
  somebody. I would give you 2.
• 1:37:21
  Names. Who would you pick?
• 1:37:23
  A mentor of mine. That's actually my business
• 1:37:25
  coach, but also a personal mentor of mine, Rabbi Ezra Max.
• 1:37:29
  He's been very instrumental in my life in the last two years,
• 1:37:32
  not just in He calls himself a business coach, but he is the
• 1:37:36
  person who doesn't let you separate yourself and your
• 1:37:40
  growth and your spirituality from what it is that you do in
• 1:37:43
  the world, which is everything that I believe in.
• 1:37:45
  So that's been, I think he's someone who would fit right in
• 1:37:49
  over here having the conversations with you.
• 1:37:51
  And the second person that I would recommend is you should
• 1:37:53
  call my mom your. Mom, Wow.
• 1:37:57
  Yeah, I think you should call me.
• 1:37:58
  Never got that. Before love it tell me about
• 1:38:00
  your mom my. Mom, her name is Rifki Lammer.
• 1:38:03
  She's a powerhouse. I mean, she raised me.
• 1:38:05
  She had to be a she. She survived my childhood.
• 1:38:08
  So she and my dad are pretty awesome human beings.
• 1:38:11
  My mom runs a company with my father.
• 1:38:13
  They own a company called Compufone Telecommunications
• 1:38:16
  Company. And she is the power behind it
• 1:38:19
  all. She's the foundation of of
• 1:38:21
  everything. My father would be the first one
• 1:38:22
  to tell that to you. And she's she's not just a
• 1:38:25
  business mind. She's a mom.
• 1:38:27
  And even while I was sick with cancer, she was cooking meals
• 1:38:30
  for high Lifeline. Like I was the cancer patient
• 1:38:33
  and high Lifeline was picking up meals and she was running a
• 1:38:35
  company and doesn't miss a day of work.
• 1:38:37
  And she was on the PTA. And you know, people love
• 1:38:40
  interviewing me without realizing that I was made by
• 1:38:43
  somebody. Like it's it's it's nature, it's
• 1:38:47
  nurture. But there are really good people
• 1:38:50
  in my life that got me to this point.
• 1:38:51
  First of all I want. Them both.
• 1:38:52
  But before we get to that, I just want to say that you're
• 1:38:55
  here today because I post a lot on LinkedIn.
• 1:38:57
  I'm here because of my. Mom, that's true.
• 1:39:00
  I'm saying that my mom got me this.
• 1:39:01
  Gig in this. Moment at the podcast so I've
• 1:39:05
  been talking a lot on LinkedIn and quoting a lot of our guests
• 1:39:07
  and we have recommendations that people give us all the time so
• 1:39:10
  Aaron Brody, shout out to you thank you Aaron for recommending
• 1:39:13
  us to you. I don't even think you know who
• 1:39:14
  he is, no. So do you know how he got to me?
• 1:39:17
  I don't know. Oh.
• 1:39:17
  So this is the. Funniest story?
• 1:39:19
  So my mom hired Ronnie. Oh, you are.
• 1:39:22
  Here because of your mom? I thought you were joking.
• 1:39:25
  No, I had no idea. He just recommended he's like
• 1:39:26
  this. You have to have this woman on
• 1:39:28
  your podcast. And I'm like, hey, Aaron knows
• 1:39:30
  LinkedIn. He knows what he's doing there,
• 1:39:31
  so he probably knows a little bit about this.
• 1:39:33
  So hilarious. I took his advice and here you
• 1:39:35
  are. So.
• 1:39:36
  So my mom telecommunications company, right, so there was the
• 1:39:39
  builder show about two weeks ago and they had a booth there and
• 1:39:43
  through LinkedIn and marketing and sales, they hired Aaron to
• 1:39:46
  come and represent at their booth, right, for sales leads
• 1:39:50
  and marketing. And so as they're talking and as
• 1:39:52
  they're collabing, they're schmoozing.
• 1:39:54
  And I don't know how the conversation got there 'cause
• 1:39:55
  I'm only hearing the second hand.
• 1:39:57
  Aaron mentioned something about past lives, and his rabbi says
• 1:40:01
  something about having a mission and a purpose.
• 1:40:04
  And we come back, life, afterlife.
• 1:40:05
  So my mother very casually drops in, oh, you sound like my
• 1:40:08
  daughter. My daughter's into these things.
• 1:40:10
  So he tells my mom. He says, you're a daughter.
• 1:40:12
  Does she know Folly Klein? And she's like, my daughter is
• 1:40:15
  Folly Klein. That's the best, right?
• 1:40:18
  So. That was unexpected, like nachas
• 1:40:21
  call, you know, my mother's like how do you end up in my world?
• 1:40:25
  Like my mom is like straight laced telecommunications, but
• 1:40:27
  she's not you know. So then so then Aaron reached
• 1:40:29
  out to me and says I want to introduce it to my friend and
• 1:40:31
  I'm like and then I see the name of your podcast.
• 1:40:33
  I'm like none of your business. I don't not really in business
• 1:40:36
  and like like that's what I told you.
• 1:40:38
  Like what, why am I here? Good.
• 1:40:40
  And I. Think we figured it out?
• 1:40:41
  I think we figured it. Out wow.
• 1:40:42
  Well, thank. You, Aaron, and thank you and
• 1:40:44
  thank your mom. We're not going to let you go
• 1:40:46
  though, without at least calling one of them.
• 1:40:48
  So let's call Ezra. Sure, I'm.
• 1:40:49
  On a podcast, I'm on the None of Your Business podcast with
• 1:40:54
  Michael Greenfeld. It's none of your business where
• 1:40:57
  I am. It's none of your business where
• 1:40:59
  I am. Yeah.
• 1:40:59
  And he has a question for you. Are you by surprise?
• 1:41:02
  Polly, we know each other really well.
• 1:41:03
  You. Do yes.
• 1:41:04
  No way. That's so weird.
• 1:41:06
  You actually spent the chalice on the largest.
• 1:41:09
  Military base it's. In the United States.
• 1:41:12
  No way. I was excited.
• 1:41:14
  To see if you can get him on video.
• 1:41:15
  What's going on? How are you?
• 1:41:18
  I am. Completely breaking a bunch of
• 1:41:20
  vehicle traffic laws right now on video.
• 1:41:23
  Wow. And I'm talking to her.
• 1:41:25
  Is this prosecutable? I know we'll get an attorney and
• 1:41:28
  figure it out. I want you to know that she
• 1:41:30
  picked. You to be a guest on our.
• 1:41:31
  Podcast So now you have no choice.
• 1:41:36
  Rabi, Ezra, Max, would you please come on our podcast?
• 1:41:42
  Absolutely. I love that record question.
• 1:41:45
  Thank you again to all the subscribers.
• 1:41:46
  Thank you so much to everyone that's commenting and giving us
• 1:41:49
  advice and thoughts. We love it.
• 1:41:51
  We love the hate, we love the love.
• 1:41:53
  We just love you guys communicating.
• 1:41:55
  Thank you again to Twillery, our sponsor.
• 1:41:57
  Thank you to the Prime Source production team.
• 1:41:59
  Thank you for Ushi for showing up for almost all of our
• 1:42:02
  podcasts today. And Stefan is telling me that
• 1:42:04
  there's going to be a Part 2. Stay tuned for a Part 2.
• 1:42:07
  Guys, That's a wrap, all right.