Latest / Finding New Waters / Getting Sober at 20: Dan Gilmer’s Story of Redemption
Transcript
- 0:00I never wanted to become an alcoholic, I never wanted to get
- 0:03married, I never wanted to have kids.
- 0:06And those single three things that I didn't want are the best
- 0:12things in my life today. So like, that's a really good
- 0:16example of God's plan is way better than mine.
- 0:19And if I just got to give him the opportunity and say, OK, I'm
- 0:24going to do your will today, you know, really incredible things
- 0:27have. All right.
- 0:28Welcome back everybody to another episode of Finding New
- 0:31Waters. My name is Bea Reeves.
- 0:34I'm the Director of Business Development here at New Waters
- 0:36Recovery in Raleigh, sitting here with our CEO, Justin
- 0:39McClendon, and our special guest in Baton Rouge, LA, Mr. Dan
- 0:45Gilmer. Welcome, Dan.
- 0:47Pleasure to be here. Thank you all so much for having
- 0:48me. I'm a big fan of y'all's podcast
- 0:50and and y'all's platform. Well, thank you.
- 0:53Thank you for saying that. We're glad you're here.
- 0:55And Dan is one of those people. I met him at an event a few
- 0:59years ago in Pensacola. And the guy who hired me into
- 1:04this field had, I think, just hired him.
- 1:08And he said, you got to go meet this guy B, And he said the same
- 1:11thing to me. And he's one of those people.
- 1:12I met him and I was like. I like this guy I.
- 1:15Like to cut up his jib. And we've gotten to spend a lot
- 1:19of time together lately over, you know, at conferences and,
- 1:22you know, golf related work trips and things of that nature.
- 1:27And Dan's just a good egg and works for a great company.
- 1:30Just tell us, you know, where. What do you do first of all?
- 1:33And then we'll go from there. Yeah, so I am the director of
- 1:40clinical outreach for TNR recovery groups, Texas programs
- 1:44to Cypress Lake recovery outside of Houston and Origins and
- 1:48Hannah's house down on South Padre Island.
- 1:51So I that actually entails more than just business development
- 1:55in our organization. So really for Texas, I had up
- 2:00our outreach team, our aftercare team and continuing care and
- 2:06building out those plans and managing those employees and
- 2:09then also our alumni program. So it's kind of getting
- 2:14everybody in, getting the right people into our program, making
- 2:18sure they go to the right places after, and then keeping them all
- 2:21connected so that we can be there when our alumni needs us
- 2:26or, you know, just offer support to make sure that they don't
- 2:31ever really need us again. I hear you that that's sometimes
- 2:35that's a bigger job at New Waters is getting somebody out
- 2:39to the right place than than getting them in.
- 2:43And one thing I wanted to just touch on with you, Dan, is, you
- 2:47know, you're one of these freaks who got sober really young.
- 2:50Will you tell us a little bit about that and how how you
- 2:53managed to do that? Yeah.
- 2:54I'd, I'd love to. So, I mean, I, I started, if you
- 2:59get sober young, you started doing drugs young, you know,
- 3:04that's kind of a prerequisite. And, and, and so I was, I think
- 3:10I was 13, me and my buddy were we're looking for some money to,
- 3:14to buy some weed or something, which is, you know, kind of
- 3:17normal, I guess maybe at that age.
- 3:20Anyway, we find a prescription bottle.
- 3:24And so it was Oxycontin. It was about 60 Oxycontin.
- 3:30And I remember he didn't want his parents to find them like in
- 3:33his room or something. So he gave them to me after we
- 3:35did some that day. And when I first used Oxycontin,
- 3:42it made me feel internally like who I'd been pretending to be on
- 3:47the outside for so long, you know, because a, a lot of us
- 3:52that are in recovery before we find recovery, you know, we're
- 3:56full of fear. We're full of insecurities.
- 3:58And those fears and insecurities and, and dishonesty traits run
- 4:02our lives. And we have this actor that we
- 4:06present to the world, you know, and Oxycontin may meet made me
- 4:12internally feel like that person I was pretending to be.
- 4:15And I could walk around with some confidence.
- 4:20And I made a decision that day when I was 13.
- 4:23I'll, I'll do anything I can to feel like this.
- 4:26This is my goal every day to feel like this.
- 4:28And there's nothing that's going to stand in the way of that.
- 4:31And I'll give up whatever I have to, to feel like this.
- 4:35I, I, I remember having, having that thought and so I did all
- 4:41the rest of the prescription in the next two days.
- 4:43And, and that's really a microcosm of what my addiction
- 4:48looked like for the next 7 years.
- 4:51So I ended up getting sober at 20.
- 4:54It was my fourth treatment experience and it was the first
- 4:58time I followed A discharge plan and I left the state for
- 5:01aftercare and I did a long term gender specific program in
- 5:06Prescott, AZ Oh, clean adventures.
- 5:09And at the end of that, I stayed out in Prescott for another year
- 5:13after I completed treatment, and I've been sober since then,
- 5:17which was 2015. Man, that's awesome.
- 5:22And Dan, when did you, I'm curious just here in that
- 5:24timeline, when did you make the the switch or the decision to
- 5:28start working in in the field? Yeah, it's, it's interesting to
- 5:32say that, you know, most of all my friends that we went to
- 5:35treatment with would stay in Prescott and get jobs and
- 5:38treatment and be techs at treatments.
- 5:40I was a tech. I was a really bad tech.
- 5:42I sponsored everybody. I wanted to save them all.
- 5:45And they were like, there's boundaries here that you can't
- 5:47cross. And I was like, well, if you're
- 5:48going to tell me how to save people's lives, I'm not going to
- 5:52work here anymore. And so I went and sold solar
- 5:54panels. But when I moved back to Baton
- 5:58Rouge, something, I don't know what happened, something in me
- 6:01was like, I'd seen a lot of the treatment industry in Prescott
- 6:06in 2015, a lot of the good, a lot of the bad.
- 6:10And I wanted to work in treatment in terms of helping
- 6:13other people to recover. And I wanted to use my story as
- 6:17a platform to promote others, specifically young men in Baton
- 6:22Rouge, LA, or from like SEC schools that just took a left
- 6:28turn when they should have turned right and, and really
- 6:30needed to like shift their life at that, you know, really
- 6:34pivotal age for most kids. So I opened some silver living
- 6:37houses in Baton Rouge when I moved back and they just got
- 6:42chock full of plant workers twice my age.
- 6:46And that was the demographic that that really needed
- 6:48resources back then and, and needed safe housing.
- 6:52And so, you know, that quickly dovetailed into doing admissions
- 6:59and then outreach it at local treatment centers.
- 7:02But that wasn't the plan. The plan was to do several
- 7:06livings and then like maybe go back to school, figure out the
- 7:09rest. But it it turned into me doing
- 7:12admissions at 21 and then outreach by 22.
- 7:19And now I've been doing it for like 8 years.
- 7:23Awesome. I two things.
- 7:25One, I certainly didn't have a, this wasn't part of my plan to
- 7:29work in this field. I didn't even know what I'd do
- 7:31as a job. The other thing is, you know,
- 7:36you said your original idea for these sober livings in Baton
- 7:39Rouge was for wayward, wayward SEC guys who had taken a wrong
- 7:44turn somewhere and needed a little bit of, of guidance or
- 7:47something like that. Yeah, I, I definitely was one of
- 7:49those guys. So I took a wrong turn in an SEC
- 7:52school and it took me another 20 plus years before I ever got
- 7:57sober. But I could have used you, but
- 8:00you were like, you know, in diapers probably then.
- 8:02Yeah, it's probably 7. It's too young.
- 8:07But what I mean, first of all, getting sober young is one
- 8:12thing, but also getting sober young in Louisiana, in Baton
- 8:16Rouge, I mean, what? What was that experience like?
- 8:21So I came home on an amends trip for my for my brother's wedding.
- 8:26I was about 10 months sober and weddings in the South have a lot
- 8:31of drinking and it's pretty much like 7 days of different
- 8:35parties. I ended up making amends on that
- 8:39trip after accidentally like taking a sip of a vodka drink at
- 8:44a crawfish boil. And I remember I was, I blamed
- 8:49my mom for it 'cause I was like, why are you going to put a drink
- 8:55right next to me? You know, it was, I shouldn't
- 8:57have blamed her. I go when I make these amends
- 9:00'cause it was scheduled, it was for a neighbor.
- 9:02Most of the amends I had to make were my parents, neighbors
- 9:05growing up. That's a whole another story.
- 9:10I'm really good at B and ES and I go when I make these amends.
- 9:15Cool story. My neighbors, you know, growing
- 9:19up there, their brother was like 30 years sober, so they
- 9:23understood the immense process and addiction and it was pretty
- 9:26cool. And I'm walking home.
- 9:28I call my house manager, the original house manager I had in
- 9:32treatment. We were just friends in recovery
- 9:34at that point. And he said it sounds like the
- 9:35ten step promises have have come true for you.
- 9:38You were coiled from alcohols, from a hot flame.
- 9:41You sought out how you could better help someone else and,
- 9:44and you cleared the wreckage of your past.
- 9:46And guess what? I'm having a really bad day and
- 9:49you calling me and us talking about recovery and, and me being
- 9:54allowed to help you and you being allowed to help me.
- 9:57And I didn't think about drinking at all.
- 9:59And I knew that something spiritual had happened in me
- 10:03because biologically I, I was, I was pickled.
- 10:06I was crossed the point of no return when I put alcohol or a
- 10:09mood altering substance into my body.
- 10:13I mean, my MO is you give me 10 hours, I'm getting Oxycontin.
- 10:17You know that, that that was every single relapse.
- 10:20And so that didn't happen. And it, it was pretty
- 10:23incredible. I mean, the night before that I
- 10:25was like my first night back in Baton Rouge.
- 10:28I remember sitting on my parents front steps.
- 10:32I still smoked back then. I was smoking a cigarette.
- 10:34I was like vibrating. I was praying to God and I was
- 10:36like God, like I am terrified. I know exactly where to go to
- 10:39get high. I have phone number's still
- 10:42memorized and I don't know if I can go this week and safely
- 10:48return back to Arizona sober. And I, I remember saying, what
- 10:52do I do and just say go to sleep clearest day like the first time
- 10:56God ever spoke to me said go to sleep.
- 10:58And I was like, that's cool. God spoke to me, but you got
- 11:02anything better? I was like, all right, give me
- 11:05something more. And he and I remember he said,
- 11:08you know, you say all this. It was kind of like, you preach
- 11:11all this, you know, to your sponsees, you know, back in
- 11:16Arizona, but you don't trust me. Like, why are you afraid?
- 11:22And so I say all that because, yeah, there was a ton of fear
- 11:26coming back to Louisiana because socially there's drinking
- 11:30everywhere. Drugs just kind of go along with
- 11:33that. The flip side to that is
- 11:36typically where there's really good partying like New Orleans
- 11:39and Baton Rouge, there's really good recovery too.
- 11:42And so I could I could go into like another little Segway about
- 11:48like my first meeting back in Baton Rouge.
- 11:49I got the meeting sheet and I texted everybody.
- 11:53I said my name's Dan from Arizona.
- 11:56I'm back here. Text me if you ever need
- 11:59anything. And because I needed a group, I
- 12:03needed a community, like I knew what I was getting back into.
- 12:08So I say all that to say, like, there's definitely triggers.
- 12:12There's definitely like social things in Louisiana that make it
- 12:16hard to stay sober, but you stay close to God and the 12 steps
- 12:21and like the program of recovery.
- 12:24It's really a beautiful place to be and recover and be sober.
- 12:28That's awesome. Yeah, I, I appreciate you
- 12:31pointing that out about. And this is something I don't
- 12:33think it's ever come up on this podcast, but it's so true that
- 12:37places that have that are big party scenes where people kind
- 12:40of move there to party, have great recovery.
- 12:44You know, that's been my experience, whether that's New
- 12:46York, which is biggest city in the country, the city that never
- 12:49sleeps. You know, they have a a meetings
- 12:51that, you know, 24 hours a day. And then, you know, cities like
- 12:54Asheville and Charleston, which are kind of party towns and New
- 12:58Orleans is probably the biggest example.
- 13:00That's a great point, man. Yeah.
- 13:03Yeah, very true. So I had a thought there and it
- 13:07just, it just escaped me. So go ahead.
- 13:09Yeah, go ahead. I was just going to say another
- 13:11thing too you brought up, which I love is, is the that subtle
- 13:16but yet huge difference, subtle in the, in the verbiage, but
- 13:20huge in the practice of believing in God versus relying
- 13:25on God and trusting God. I, you know, it's, it's easy for
- 13:30me to believe in God, especially that it, that it works in other
- 13:34people's lives and to quote George Costanza for the bad
- 13:37stuff, but to trust God and to, you know, just to take advice,
- 13:44whether it's from, you know, a sponsor or the group or, you
- 13:48know, peers. And, and just saying this is I
- 13:51got, I need to trust the process here and trust God.
- 13:54Another thing you said that I love is, you know, when I got
- 13:57sober, I heard a lot of people, a lot of people told me I can
- 14:00restart my day at any time. And I've read that in the
- 14:02literature. And it was one of those things I
- 14:04started to implement kind of right away.
- 14:07Like, I mean, I've been in, I've been on the street in Chapel
- 14:09Hill. I've done it on a golf course,
- 14:11I've done it in parking lots. I've done it in stores where
- 14:14I've literally airports gotten on my knees and asked God to
- 14:18please let me restart my day. But the flip side of that is
- 14:23what you just talked about. Sometimes I need you to just end
- 14:26the day and just go to bed. You know, I mean, they're,
- 14:29they're sometimes where I come home from, where's something
- 14:31going on at work or in a relationship or just with the
- 14:34general public. And so sometimes it's time for
- 14:37me just to shut it down. And, you know, instead of
- 14:40sitting around and, you know, fretting and stewing and even
- 14:43maybe even trying to get into action with some literature and
- 14:46all that. But just to get on my knees.
- 14:48Thank God for keeping me sober that day.
- 14:49Please keep me sober tomorrow and go to bed and just end the
- 14:53day instead of starting it over, you know?
- 14:54I like that, and I think we could all attest it.
- 14:57You know, sometimes things just look completely different with
- 14:59a, with a, you know, good night's sleep under our belt,
- 15:01right? Absolutely.
- 15:03Fresh set of eyes, so to speak. Yeah.
- 15:05And we have that daily retrieve. You know, all of us thought it
- 15:10was impossible to get the six month chip or the three month
- 15:13chip or the one year chip. We looked at those people
- 15:15doubting and it's, you know, validity for ourselves and for
- 15:22our own story and like to coin the phrase, you know, one day at
- 15:27a time. You know, a lot of time that
- 15:29that's used probably the wrong way.
- 15:32But for me, like we did our ten step inventory every night and I
- 15:38did it every night on paper with notebooks for like the first
- 15:43four years of my recovery. I got to a point with like my
- 15:46prayer and my routine that I can just go through where I was
- 15:50resentful, dishonest, fearful, you know, in my head talking to
- 15:55God and it kind of becomes like a conversation.
- 15:58But that's, that's that's what keeps this all from snowballing
- 16:03because I'm still the guy that's full of fear, insecure.
- 16:07If, if, if I allow that, you know, if something happens today
- 16:12and I don't address it tonight with God and leave it in today,
- 16:15then, you know, tomorrow might not be a little harder.
- 16:18But if I do the same thing again tomorrow, it's like then I start
- 16:21to put rocks back in the bag. I start to carry that bag of
- 16:24rocks again. I'm, I'm a big believer that
- 16:30when you work the 12 steps, you only have to do them once in
- 16:34life. But 10:11 and 12:00 we we have
- 16:38to consistently do daily. I hear you.
- 16:42I heard somebody say something recently I'd never heard, which
- 16:44is we can, you can start doing any step that starts with A1
- 16:49right away. So you know, step one obviously,
- 16:52and then 10 through 12. And I didn't hear that until
- 16:56pretty recently, but I did start prayer and meditation kind of
- 16:59right away. And back to your, you know, the
- 17:02daily reprieve, you know, I don't have control.
- 17:06I don't have control over my spiritual condition.
- 17:09Like I, I wish I could just maybe I'll get there.
- 17:11Say, you know what, I'm going to be happy, joyous and free today.
- 17:15And no matter what's going on, I'm going to have a great
- 17:17attitude. I'm not there yet, man.
- 17:20Maybe I will get there someday. But what I do have control over
- 17:23is the maintenance. So I can do these certain things
- 17:25I do every day. And when I do that, I do have a
- 17:29daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual
- 17:33condition. Not if I'm, you know, if I'm
- 17:36like full of joy like I, I just hopefully I'll get there, but so
- 17:41far, not yet. Yeah, I I did want to go back
- 17:45and kind of probably answered a question differently.
- 17:49You know, you all asked kind of what it was like to get sober
- 17:54young. I kind of gave you like some
- 17:55experiences in Louisiana that like someone who was 40 could
- 18:00have had with the immense process and going home.
- 18:03And so like to, to highlight like getting sober at 20 in
- 18:09Arizona, it was pretty easy because there was, you know,
- 18:121000 treatment beds in a town of 40,000 and everyone was sober at
- 18:18the coffee shop, the restaurants, like everyone,
- 18:21everyone was either in recovery or trying to get back into
- 18:24recovery or should be. And so like that part was kind
- 18:29of easy. When I came back home, you know,
- 18:31I, I had had such a low, I mean, I, I was beat down to be really
- 18:38transparent, you know, I had had brief success with the 12 steps.
- 18:43I'd have brief success with treatment.
- 18:46And the first time anyone ever told me, like you have a mental
- 18:49obsession and a physical allergy and a spiritual malady and, and
- 18:52you need God in the 12 steps to save your life.
- 18:54Like you resonated with me. I read Bill's story and I was
- 18:57like, this is me. This is why I've been crying
- 19:01myself to sleep, begging God that I'm not going to get high
- 19:03the next day. I already wake up with a game
- 19:05plan on how I'm going to get high.
- 19:08You know, this, this, this explains everything.
- 19:11So I wanted to get sober the first time I was ever in
- 19:14treatment at 19. And the next really year was
- 19:19just like a vicious cycle of me trying to.
- 19:23And so when I finally got sober, I finally worked the 12 steps.
- 19:27I finally started sponsoring people and like gain this
- 19:30confidence. I came back to Louisiana and
- 19:34like I got lucky, you know, there was there was a group of
- 19:38guys that was all kind of my age.
- 19:40We'd either been to treatment before or not.
- 19:42And then I opened my sober living and I always had like
- 19:45this community around me. And and then, you know, probably
- 19:49a year in to me having my house is my best friend from Arizona
- 19:53got shipped out to me one day sober and I moved him in with me
- 19:59and me and him kind of did this. He was a year younger than me
- 20:02and me and him. Did the sobriety thing together
- 20:05and it was trying to find and have like the most fun we
- 20:12possibly could in the world at the expense of our bank
- 20:15accounts, sleep everything under the sun to just live life to the
- 20:21fullest. Because we discovered like
- 20:23there's a whole world out here outside of just getting high and
- 20:27like sitting in, in the dorm room or, or sitting on the couch
- 20:31or just letting you know life pass you by.
- 20:34And we wanted to taste and see everything we possibly could.
- 20:39And, and so I think really Arizona, the treatment I was
- 20:44provided, the, the freedom my parents gave me to go out there
- 20:49and just reset my life for a year, really all made it really
- 20:54possible. And, and, you know, I never
- 20:57thought I I was going to be sober for all of my 20s, but I
- 21:02had a lot more fun than probably some people that were in there,
- 21:05you know, addiction or partying for those 10 years.
- 21:08I mean, I had a blast. I hear you, man.
- 21:12And I mean, that's part of the reason I was so excited to have
- 21:15you on here is you're just such a great example of, you know, I
- 21:19mean, yeah, I want to hear kind of what happened, you know, what
- 21:23you're like, what it was like and what?
- 21:24But like the fact that you, you know, not only have you had
- 21:28this. Full, full, full.
- 21:30Life, you've had a great time doing it and got and that's why
- 21:35I it's so important to hear these stories of people who.
- 21:37It's one thing to be like, Oh yeah, I quit drinking and and
- 21:40using drugs when I was 20 versus like, yeah, I got sober when I
- 21:44was 20 in my life. I had no idea how unbelievable
- 21:47life could be, you know, and I try not to have regrets, you
- 21:50know, I don't really, but because it all happens the way
- 21:52it's supposed to. But you know, I mean, I, I went
- 21:55another 21 years before I was able to get where you got at
- 21:58such a young age. And that's awesome.
- 22:00And I just want people to know you're another just a such a
- 22:02great example of that this can be done and not, and it's not a
- 22:06punishment. You know, this is so many people
- 22:09see this as some kind of punishment, but it's not.
- 22:12It's a gift. Yeah, I definitely was resentful
- 22:19for a little while. Like on my last inventory on the
- 22:22four step, I had not put two things on there.
- 22:26One was my son who I had before I ever went to treatment the
- 22:30first time. And I put him on my inventory
- 22:36because I could always like, think my way out of her
- 22:40resentment and not put it down on the inventory.
- 22:43But I had to put my son down because he did drastically
- 22:46change my life and my selfish tendencies.
- 22:48And I had to stop thinking selfishly only about myself.
- 22:52And that came with responsibility.
- 22:56I was resentful for that. And I had to put God down.
- 22:59I put God down because I didn't want to be an alcoholic or a
- 23:03drug addict. I didn't want to be born with
- 23:05predisposition or fear or insecurity that led me down this
- 23:08path. Now, 10 years later with about,
- 23:14I mean, thousands of people that I've helped at least get into
- 23:18treatment or give them an opportunity to get sober, not
- 23:23even counting the the sober living.
- 23:25It's like all of this was for me to be on this podcast today and
- 23:30hopefully maybe someone will hear like, oh, there's an
- 23:32opportunity for me to get sober at a young age and other people
- 23:36do it and it's awesome. Man, the fact that you just said
- 23:40out loud that you were willing to admit that you put your son
- 23:44on your four step as a resentment because that got in
- 23:47the way of your, I mean, that's like some powerful stuff right
- 23:50there, man, That's amazing. Yeah, I completely agree.
- 23:55Yeah, I think, I mean, that's huge.
- 23:57Like B just said, I think being able to just kind of admit that
- 24:00out loud and and I think to admit that to yourself too, man.
- 24:03And and the piece about God as well, I think that's another big
- 24:05one that a lot of people look over is, you know, you know, the
- 24:09resentments are where they are, man.
- 24:11And it's important to be able to name those things and and face
- 24:13them, you know, but not to speak for you.
- 24:16I mean the sun piece, you know, I can relate to that myself.
- 24:19I mean, I have two kids, two boys of my own.
- 24:21And, you know, just because we felt that way doesn't mean that,
- 24:24you know, we love them any less or that's changes the dynamic.
- 24:27It's just being honest and naming something for what it is.
- 24:30Right? Yeah.
- 24:31I mean, I'm, I'm selfish. That's the root of most of my
- 24:34problems, you know, and that's, that's why I do the prayer and
- 24:39meditation and the daily reprieve.
- 24:41Because, you know, it's funny you mention that, you know, you
- 24:46mention your family. Like I've had two kids since
- 24:48then. My wife's 37 weeks pregnant now
- 24:52when I got thank you, thank you, we're stoked.
- 24:55Everything, you know, we're just, we're trying to get
- 24:57through it and she's ready for this baby to come out And, and
- 25:01so am I. I think he'll come out really
- 25:05well. Everything looks good.
- 25:06And, and so we're excited about that.
- 25:08But I, I never wanted to become an alcoholic.
- 25:12I never wanted to get married. I never wanted to have kids and
- 25:17those single three things that I didn't want are the best things
- 25:23in my life today. So like that's a really good
- 25:26example of God's plan is way better than mine.
- 25:29And if I just got to give him the opportunity and say, OK, I'm
- 25:34going to do your will today, you know, really incredible things
- 25:38have. That's awesome and you know the
- 25:43fearless and searching moral inventory which you like.
- 25:47I might need to revisit my four step just but to see if there's
- 25:52something that like subconscious, like there's no
- 25:54way that could actually be on there.
- 25:56But I mean, that's, that's, you know, I mean, I thank you again
- 26:01for sharing that. And I mean, back to that, that
- 26:03you're talking about doing a nightly inventory.
- 26:06And I've been doing, I've been using this app now for 6 1/2
- 26:11years, something since pretty in early sobriety, I started using
- 26:13this app and it only takes a little while to do this.
- 26:16There's no excuse to not do it. And one of the questions that it
- 26:20asked me is was I kind and loving toward all?
- 26:24I mean, it's from the out of the book.
- 26:26And then and then the other thing that that deducts the most
- 26:29points from it is if I didn't reach out to somebody in
- 26:31recovery that day. But the that the question about
- 26:36being kind and loving towards all over time and it didn't take
- 26:40too long. I'm not saying that it really
- 26:43that I stopped doing this, but it but I started feeling it
- 26:48coming on faster. So before I got sober and even
- 26:52in early sobriety, I could be on a phone call or in a meeting or
- 26:55in traffic or at a restaurant or something and kind of pop off a
- 27:00little bit. But after, you know, having
- 27:02knowing after a little bit of time of you of doing that
- 27:04inventory that I was going to have to answer to that inventory
- 27:08that I started to get, I start, I get literally a physical
- 27:12sensation in the back of my head that's like a little bit of a
- 27:15chill that's telling me like, Hey, you're about to, you're
- 27:18about to say something you're probably going to regret.
- 27:20And it usually usually stops me from doing it.
- 27:23But it's, you know, a muscle right through it often.
- 27:27But I but I, you know, pay the price on the spot and have an
- 27:30emotional hangover for sometimes, you know, a day or
- 27:32longer, whatever it is. But without that inventory, I
- 27:36think, you know, I could be sober, but without doing that
- 27:38and being known, I need to answer that thing, you know, I'd
- 27:41still be going around, you know, sober, you know, abstinent, but
- 27:45can still just be a jerk, you know, And it keeps me from
- 27:48being, keeps me from being so much of A jerk, I guess is the
- 27:51best way to say it. Dampens it a little bit, yes.
- 27:55I mean, how free do you want to be, right?
- 27:57And sometimes that is I want to, I want to be so free that
- 28:02sometimes I hold my tongue when it would feel really good to
- 28:07pull out God's flaming sword of truth, which I am sanctioned to
- 28:11wave around, you know? Right.
- 28:13Yeah. And it, you know, it's funny
- 28:16because, like, I don't know, my, my life has changed so
- 28:21drastically since I got married in 2021.
- 28:23And we have had two kids and are third on the way.
- 28:27And so we got a really full house.
- 28:30And when you have a bunch of toddlers running around and your
- 28:35wife's pregnant, like, it's always a state of escalation.
- 28:41And so I find myself doing like, square breathing, like, just.
- 28:47And my wife's like, is everything OK?
- 28:49I'm like, yeah, everything's fine.
- 28:50I'm just making sure everything stays fine.
- 28:52It's fine. You know?
- 28:54Exactly. Well, I mean, that's the thing.
- 28:56I mean, I tell people this all the time.
- 28:57Like I still like to feel good. I just don't have drugs and
- 29:00alcohol to make that happen. You know, if I feel good doesn't
- 29:03necessarily mean like, yeah, I mean it means like, hey, I don't
- 29:05want to like freak out. I want to, you know, I'm trying
- 29:08to stay fine, you know, so those I have these tools that were,
- 29:12you know, that most of them were presented to me throughout my
- 29:15life that I either ignored or rejected or misinterpreted or
- 29:18whatever it is. But you know, I use breathing
- 29:21techniques, you know, among other things, because that's
- 29:24what I got. You know I can't just pop a pill
- 29:26anymore. You know, it's, it's, it's a
- 29:30beautiful thing to, you know, I, I was in, in Prescott when I was
- 29:39there, I, I got kind of pride and ego in my first couple
- 29:49months of recovery. You know, once I got out of
- 29:51treatment, I started sponsoring a lot of guys really quickly.
- 29:56There's two things that I do everyday.
- 29:58My mentor, he was my second step.
- 30:00He was physical proof that someone as bad as me who'd get
- 30:06sober and recover through the 12 steps and his life could change.
- 30:10He's an incredible guy. Attorney, owns several livings
- 30:13here in Baton Rouge. I I lived in all of his houses
- 30:16at different times, but he said I do 2 things.
- 30:21You wake up and you say OK and then you try to find somebody to
- 30:24help free. You know, nothing, nothing for
- 30:28you help somebody that that nothing can come back and even
- 30:32help and, and just saying OK, really opens you up to help
- 30:36people. You know, if I wake up and and
- 30:39y'all say look, hey, can y'all hop on this podcast, you know,
- 30:41and, and, and share your testimony, OK?
- 30:44If my wife wakes up and she says, hey, can you bring the
- 30:47kids to school this morning? OK, yeah, sure.
- 30:50And then my neighbor calls a sponsee, calls someone from work
- 30:56calls, needs some help. And I just end up going
- 30:59throughout my day just helping people.
- 31:01And I got really addicted to the feeling of helping people and I
- 31:08took it too far. In early recovery, I really did
- 31:12like I was doing service work every day I possibly could.
- 31:17I was bringing a lot of people to meetings.
- 31:19I was sponsoring a lot of people and I was sponsoring people that
- 31:24were just getting sponsored so that they could get their phone
- 31:26privileges in, in treatment, you know, but I, I wanted to be
- 31:30working with them and I wanted to take them through the first
- 31:32step and I wanted to hear their inventory.
- 31:36And there was a point where my core group of guys that I got
- 31:41sober with, there was like 15 of us that stayed sober for at
- 31:45least a year. It was pretty incredible.
- 31:47And they were like, Hey, we don't like hanging out with you
- 31:50anymore. Like you're just holy yourself
- 31:54and you think that you're like God's agent here on earth and
- 31:59that you can't do anything wrong.
- 32:01And we think you really need to check yourself, and we're not
- 32:04going to hang out with you until you get humble.
- 32:08Sounds like good friends. Yeah, a couple really good
- 32:12friends. And I think about that more and
- 32:17more because I don't think I would have made it without that.
- 32:20And yeah, we're we're kind of talking about getting sober
- 32:23young, talking about working in treatment, talking about living
- 32:27in places where, you know, partying and and alcohol is
- 32:31prevalent. And I wouldn't want to like go
- 32:35on here and, and finish this up without me saying like, hey,
- 32:39without the accountability of like my core group, I wouldn't
- 32:43be here. You know, this isn't something
- 32:46that, like, I feel like I did, like, I went to God and he met
- 32:52me more than halfway. I went to the program of
- 32:56Alcoholics Anonymous and it loved me too.
- 32:58I could love myself. And I was held accountable by
- 33:01those closest to me. And that's how I've been able to
- 33:04stay sober. You know, it's not just I was
- 33:10blessed, you know which I was, but it's not just that.
- 33:15I hear you. But you, you do the work and as
- 33:18we kind of come up against it here, this has been great man.
- 33:22And I thank you for everything you share.
- 33:24Will you just kind of lay it on us though about some nuts and
- 33:28bolts about what you do work wise and what the programs,
- 33:31where they are, what, what they are and you know, and then also
- 33:35how do we find them and you? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
- 33:38So TNR Recovery Group has a couple programs Thomas and Roy
- 33:43Isbell started. It originally was Sabino
- 33:46Recovery in Tucson, AZ, which is really our flagship program and
- 33:52specifically focuses on trauma and addiction, but it's one of
- 33:58the best trauma programs in the country.
- 34:00You know, you can get 15 a la carte clinical private sessions
- 34:05a week. They have really incredible
- 34:09equine therapy. It backs up to the Sabino Canyon
- 34:12in Tucson, AZ. And so it's a really holistic
- 34:15program, you know, sleep studies, brain mapping, EMDRART,
- 34:23massage, acupuncture, everything under the sun.
- 34:26The cold tub is sweet. And then my responsibility is
- 34:31really kind of what I talked about at the beginning, but
- 34:35outreach, aftercare and alumni for our Texas programs, which
- 34:39are Cypress Lake Recovery, which is outside of Houston in
- 34:43Woodville, Texas. It's on 52 acres of Piney East
- 34:47Texas woods. It overlooks A20 acre spring fed
- 34:51lake. The philosophy there is really
- 34:54all paths to recovery. So we offer a well variety,
- 34:57Celebrate Recovery, Dharma recovery, the 12 steps, SMART
- 35:02Recovery. And the idea is by using
- 35:05experiential therapy and making all these pathways to recovery
- 35:09possible. It's a really good landing spot
- 35:11for someone who it's their first treatment experience or maybe
- 35:14they've been to a lot of treatments before and they just
- 35:17want to have their own personal approach that they choose and
- 35:22they follow. So we really like to promote.
- 35:25They have to choose something, but whatever recovery pathway
- 35:28they choose, we promote it and then we craft it into their
- 35:32aftercare plan so that they can continue working it.
- 35:37The well variety track is really, really cool.
- 35:41We're really. Close to a couple.
- 35:44Yeah, well, Bridey is the Native American approach to the 12
- 35:47steps, the white bison red road to, well, Bridey.
- 35:51And it's basically the 12 steps for Native Americans.
- 35:56There's a really good book on it.
- 35:57There's really good literature. They have meetings all across
- 36:00the country. And they just have, you know,
- 36:03kind of different religious background and spiritual
- 36:06background. And it it, it kind of drums down
- 36:10to great Spirit, you know, instead of God.
- 36:13And, but it's the same idea and it's the really the same steps.
- 36:19And it's, it's a really incredible track.
- 36:20And, and a lot of our Native American clients that come and,
- 36:23and they, you know, enjoy it and it's a really cool thing.
- 36:27We have a, a walking trail that has the steps on it with
- 36:31different meditations. You'll have to come and and do
- 36:33it. BI know you like to meditate.
- 36:35I will. And then Origins in Hannah's
- 36:39house are gender specific programs down on South Padre
- 36:41Island which promote the 12 steps pretty heavily.
- 36:46That is something that's pretty historic about Origins.
- 36:49Clients have the opportunity to work all 12 steps while they're
- 36:52with us. Origins is on the main side of
- 36:58the island, has a beautiful gym. It's like an old bed and
- 37:01breakfast Casito style building which wraps around a big pool
- 37:05and like a courtyard. The patients are gonna work the
- 37:0912 steps there, they'll have opportunities to work on their
- 37:12trauma. And then Hannah's house
- 37:14overlooks the Bay. It's only 17 beds, heavy trauma
- 37:19work for the ladies down there. And still the same approach to
- 37:22the 12 steps. We have a class called Deep dive
- 37:25where they deep dive into each step each day of the week and
- 37:30clients can stay there 3060 or 90 days.
- 37:32So. So that's kind of what we do in
- 37:35Texas and I just try to make it really easy for my outreach team
- 37:41to help get the right people into treatment and try to remove
- 37:46barriers for aftercare planning. My favorite thing to do is get
- 37:49on the phone with a young man who's ready to go back home to
- 37:52Louisiana and tell them, look, you don't have to go back to
- 37:55Louisiana. You can go to Arizona,
- 37:57California, North Carolina, wherever you want in the world,
- 38:02connect you with a really good programming and give you an
- 38:04opportunity to see how big the world really is compared to
- 38:09defense. You know, maybe someone skewed
- 38:11perspective of the world when they get to us.
- 38:14You know, awesome. And you guys do great work.
- 38:17I mean, we can contest to that. We attest to that.
- 38:20We only work with places and people and providers we like,
- 38:23know and trust and y'all certainly fit that bill.
- 38:26That's right. And also wanted to be remiss
- 38:30about it and shout out Derek Waltney, who hired me into the
- 38:34field, the aforementioned Derek, and then put us in touch.
- 38:39And so it's been really great to get to know you over the last
- 38:42few years and to see you in real life pretty often, which is
- 38:47great. And just thank you so much for
- 38:50your time today and sharing all this with us.
- 38:52This has been absolutely awesome it.
- 38:55Was my pleasure. Thank you all for having me.
- 38:58Hey, real quick. Last thing though, just how do
- 39:00people find, you know, Sabino and TNR and Origins?
- 39:05All the individual programs are one place or whatever you want
- 39:08to say. Yeah, TNR Recovery group.com,
- 39:12cypresslakerecovery.com, you can kind of find all of our programs
- 39:16through any one of those origins.
- 39:18Texas Recovery, it's beingarecovery.com.
- 39:21I've got a LinkedIn which I think will be posted somewhere
- 39:26on here and you can find all, all of our links on that.
- 39:30If there is someone who who wants some help, but if there is
- 39:33someone who just you know, is struggling and an early
- 39:37recovery, I would be happy to be the person that you talk to.
- 39:42Awesome. They're lucky to have you, Dan.
- 39:44Thank you so much for being here today, man.
- 39:46Thank you. Thanks, Dan.
- 39:48Have a good one. Awesome.
- 39:49If you liked what you heard today or just want to know more,
- 39:52give us a call on 9196708119 or visit us at
- 39:57newwatersrecovery.com. Thank you.