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From the Archives: She Did Everything Right: Nora's Diagnosis · We Didn't Plan for This Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: A little nasally today.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's all a crying.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: And um I I can relate.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can relate a hundred percent.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: I still have like a daily cry.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: At least that yeah, that's w I mean to start.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: To start the day.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's like starting the day with a cry.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: I I roll over waking up and remembering again.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Exact.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's the worst every morning when I wake up and I'm like, yeah, he's still not here anymore.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: So this is the series objective.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_02: Is we always ask the question in how yoga changed my life, what changed?
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_02: And guests share how yoga changed their lives.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't plan for this, explores the other side of that question.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_02: What happens when life changes first?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: And how do we show keep showing up anyway?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: So it's kind of like perfect.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: For what's going on.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: I know I haven't done my story yet, but it's like, I mean, ultimately, the way Joe get changed my life was it was that's how I learned that was the first time anybody in movement in my life taught me intentional movement and how to stop and just squeeze your thigh.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: And exactly because bring and bringing that awareness to me, like that's what created the connection that I have to my body.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And look, what happened?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: I needed to listen.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew when something was wrong.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have a yeah, I do understand.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I would never have known that otherwise.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know how many people walk around all day?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: They don't even know how to squeeze their own butt.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_02: No, they uh yeah, I do know because I see it every fucking day with you.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_02: These idiots that just walk around in their bodies, but then we were those idiots too for a while.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: We were those idiots.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: We had to learn, we had to learn, yeah.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: And we can continue to see it, but yeah, all the time.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: This is why it's it's not just enough to be active.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's the first step.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: But if you want to live a true, like healthy way of life, then you need to have a connection with your body.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: 100%.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so basically what we're doing is just having an honest conversation about what's gonna try to keep us steady, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: And so for you, what I was thinking about was a focus of strength and resilience.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I don't have a choice.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so welcome to we didn't plan for this.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we totally didn't plan for this at all, either one of us.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: No, Brian's dead, and Nora, right around the same time that Brian was dying, Nora found out some news.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, um I have practiced saying this in the mirror so many times.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but it still makes me cry.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it's only been a little while, so I guess uh hopefully this will change and I'll be stronger, but I am dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis, which is just batshit fucking crazy, especially for me.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I um I'm already hearing uh you know from people as I have to tell them because I'm gonna have to be out of work for a few months in recovery from treatment.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um and and I've had people literally, and I they don't do it on purpose, but they break down, start crying, and tell me, say it isn't so.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Tell me that's not real.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: You you're the healthiest person I know.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: I was with you when one of those happened.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, yeah, I've I fucking know, man.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm I'm pissed about it.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, trust me.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Cancer does not discriminate more, right?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's what we've learned, if anything, is that we don't get the choice of what we get, you know.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: We get what we get, no, and we're supposed to not get upset about it.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, what do we teach the five-year-olds?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: You get what you get, you don't throw a fit.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: I have a question for you.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm throwing fits.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_02: You can throw a fit.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_02: Literally.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: I've been throwing fits.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you said that you've been staring in the mirror and trying to say it without crying.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then you said, maybe I'll get stronger or I'll be stronger.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: I don't I want to talk about strength, right?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you think about strength when you were 20, and now think about strength now as you're 46, 47?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: 46, okay.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_02: 47 in August.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_02: August.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_02: My Leo friend.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_01: In the year of the fucking fire horse.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck that horse, man.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck 2026.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm holding on by the hair.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_02: I know.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: Me too.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, it's because it doesn't make sense.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um I'm trying my brain is still trying to process and make sense of something that doesn't make sense.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And um through the years of dealing with other things and um being in therapy for different reasons and learning coping mechanisms and um different skill sets, one of the things uh I don't even remember where I learned it, but look at yourself in the mirror in the eye and say the thing that you can't believe.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_01: Um it has helped, but clearly it's I'm still affected.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um because I'm still trying to make sense of something that doesn't make sense.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: My um emotions are all over the place.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: They they're they don't even make sense.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: I can't.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_02: Your your nervous system is it's shot.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's definitely short circuiting.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Short circuiting for sure.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's not shot.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: I am a nutritious fucking Nora.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm the advocate.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the one that literally has dedicated my life to teaching people how to respect their bodies and this planet and this ecosystem that we're part of.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: And and so you got cancer.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: How is that your fault?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you look at it that way?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm I'm nutritious, Nora.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like you're you're I'm sorry, I'm gonna say this and it might hurt, but we're not superheroes.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_02: And in fact, sometimes we're given something like our life changing, something we didn't plan for.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm ultimately getting to in my in my coping in my mind.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's that's what I have to be now.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's I'm still angry that um my body's betrayed me again.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: But is it when I watch people all day completely disrespect themselves, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: The planet, their families, the environment.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: I I see that.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then they come to me and act like I can fix it all in an hour-long movement session.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but you know, yeah, and and so I I believed that living with respect and living diligently disciplined would keep me healthy.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I really did.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it has kept you healthy.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: It has.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: You it has, and it's I'm I'm also the perfect example of why you need to live a healthy way of life, why you need to be strong, why you need to be have a strong immune system, why you need to have a connection to your body, and why you need to advocate for yourself and and believe when you know something's wrong.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: That I think is a huge win.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I think that that's something that, like we were just talking about, like no one knows how to squeeze their butt, no one knows how to squeeze their bicep, like you know, teaching someone how to to move in a purposeful way, in an intentional way that's gonna be healthy and happy for their life.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_02: And then you say, like, advocate for yourself.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I think about Brian a lot because he just kind of stuffed it, you know, ignored it, ignored it.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_02: Denny has like a freaking complainer.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: Denny's not a complainer, you know, he's got like a freaking bone graft having to happen because of his tooth.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's like this crazy, you know, way of just kind of blocking the sensory issues.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, suck it up and press.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, be a good soldier, keep your head down and go.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: Mission accomplished.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I was programmed at a very young age.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: How many years were you in the Air Force?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Six and a half.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: I was active duty six and a half years.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I was 19 years old.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was in Kuwait.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Kuwait.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: I was an hour away from the Iraq border um in 2003.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: And what else was going on over there at that time?
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't like Sunshine and Roses in 2003 in Kuwait.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, we were it was post-9-11.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: It was Operation Iraqi Freedom, Operation Enduring Freedom that I was in support of.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: That I was deployed in support of.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I mean that's a whole other episode, but yeah, I witnessed the worst disrespect for the planet that I've ever I that I could have ever conceived.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um quitty people do not give a fuck about the planet.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's awful.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's it's like I don't know how to explain it unless you're there witnessing it in real life.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's like just garbage everywhere.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Mounds of dirty plastic diapers rolling across these fields of sand, you know, in the desert.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: It it's it's fucking mind-blowing.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and of course, I was over there when you know they're burning all kinds of shit, and I was breathing all that in.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: That I didn't have control over.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I speak to my clients all the time about control your controllables.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Control the things you have control over.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't want to kick myself in the teeth.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: But that to me, but I say the same thing.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_02: Worry is just prayer for chaos.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: I say those things to my clients all the time.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you can only control your reactions and your responses.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: That's it.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: How you react and you respond.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's all you can control is your breath.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's all we have.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: So if that's all we have, then well, why is Nutritious Norris still not a superhero?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like, she is a superhero.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_01: I don't um I don't have a choice but to be.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: My family has already suffered enough loss from this disease.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I have to be the example for my daughter.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: Can you can you say like, I will be the example?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I will be.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: I will be an example for my daughter.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm the thing that she's watching anyway.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: So um I gotta tell you something kind of funny.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um I was talking to someone, I can't remember when it was, it was recently, talking about kids.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: And um, you know, somebody said, Well, we were arguing when, you know, somebody's referring back to their their childhood and saying something like, Well, you know, my parents argued all the time, but my mom was like, I never knew you knew that we were arguing.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: And she's like, just because I was in the room next to you with the door shut didn't mean I didn't hear you screaming at each other.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: So when modeling the behavior of what we want in our lives, like I think that I think that you're so powerful and knowledgeable in what you do that the strength that you already have and the willpower that you have is what's going to take you through this.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, let's talk about it.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: You found out in mid-December how um doing a breast self-check in the shower.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: And um there was blood in the shower.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh shit, did I cut myself?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, wait a minute, you're not shaving.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then due to other things, you know, I haven't had periods since 2010.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, where the hell is blood coming from?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: What the it was like a horror movie happening in the shower, you know.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I had never heard of bloody nipple discharge, which is what they call it, but it's not a discharge, it's like, yeah, it's discharging from your nipple, but it's not what you would think, it's not like pus or anything, it's just blood, yeah, coming out of your nipple, which is not normal.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so yeah, I uh I of course had already, because I lost my mother-in-law to breast cancer 13 years ago this August.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um I knew a a lot, what I thought was a lot about breast cancer.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I knew that bloody nipples discharge was a sign of something called DCIS, which is ductal carcinoma in situ, which means it's cancer inside the muck milk duct of your breast.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_02: DCIS.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, what is it called?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: DCIS, which is uh ductal carcinoma in situ.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: That means that there's cancer inside the milk duct inside your breast.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, which ironically is the the kind of breast cancer you can't find by doing a breast self-check usually in the shower because there's not a lump for you to find.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but like I said, I had done this research before.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: I also had been experiencing itching in that nipple.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I had written it off at first because of what we do.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: We I live in a sports bra.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: I sweat for a living.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so yeah, sometimes you have weird, itchy things, weird places, but yeah, you know, it can't it it never stayed long.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but when you put those two things together, both of those are indicators of DCIS.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and so I called and I was like, I need to see somebody now.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: And they're like, Well, your doctor, you know, doesn't have this time until da-da-da-da-da, whatever.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: I said, No, I need to be seen now.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, well, this other person in the practice is here, you know, can you see her?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I said, absolutely.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so I got in, I was seen three days later, and she says, Yeah, you know what, that doesn't look right.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna culture this.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we're gonna go ahead and schedule you for imaging because you have been, I had been written an order for a mammogram, um, for normal, you know, screen preventative ones.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the one that you do every year, or every other year, whatever what your provider says.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: And um, but they the ultra mount uh one of the breast ultrasound machines for mammograms was down.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't have one, and so they hadn't been able to schedule me.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, well, so when did you get the prescription or the order?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then months back.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: That was like October, maybe.
• 16:22
  unknown: Wow.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: And this is December.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: This is the well, yeah.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: December 16th is when I had the bloody nipple, and then December 19th is when I saw her.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so because they only had one of the um machines, they were gonna get another one or get that one fixed by the first of the year.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: She was like, surely we'll be able to get you in earlier.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: They didn't end up getting me in earlier, so the first available was the 27th of January.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_02: So you have to sit through Christmas and New Year and then Brian's death, yeah, waiting to know what's going on.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like, you know, we talked about this before, but you know, we have our little coven of five of us now, six with Carrie.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_02: And uh, you know, we all were like, What's going on with Nora?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Something's up.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: Something's up, yeah.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we just thought that's stress, it's a holidays, you know.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, then Brian died, and our whole world just died.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, fucking blew up.
• 17:23
  unknown: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, which hindsight, I definitely threw myself into um worrying about you, so I wouldn't have to worry about me.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Um well, I appreciate it every second, still do.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so that was that was one way of helping.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um but so I got in for the ultrasound, um, and or die what they said was diagnostic mammogram and breast ultrasound um together.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And that was done on the 27th.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And on that day, um she said, Yeah, you have masses in both your breasts.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so she had to say it again, and I was like, wait, what?
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay, and she's like, Don't freak out.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, it's suspicious.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_01: They kept using the word suspicious, and you know, like don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh fuck.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I'm like, okay, but you wouldn't be using these words specifically if it wasn't something that I should be concerned about.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and right then and there, she scheduled me for the breast MRI for the following Wednesday, which is the third of um February.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and at the same time, they scheduled me a surgical consult with the general surgeon and for him to order the biopsies.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because apparently they can't do that right from having the imaging that says that you're have suspicious activity.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: We have all these extra hoops and whatever.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: We have to do a whole episode on the healthcare system.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm like thinking to myself, and I'm like, I'm like, how do yeah, in every stage of this, I'm I'm also being hit with how the hell do our elderly deal with this?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Are you insane?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right, you want me to do what now?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_02: You know, uh you know, so there's a lot of that going on in Wait, talk about the paperwork for um what you had to do for your medicines when they said medications and supplements.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I love this.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so once they've once I've got the um cancer diagnosis, which was after the biopsies, so I had the MRI, then the next week I had biopsies of the right breast, biopsy of the left breast, and then the following week, so the December uh February 19th is when I received the affirmative, confirmed result um of breast cancer.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was given all the options.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um and then by a stroke of luck, I was my general surgeon in Kerrville, Texas, just happened to have shared a practice with the best breast cancer surgeon.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: When I finally get in, um, and I go to see the surgeon, and I get the whole treatment plan and everything figured out.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: You start it, you become part of this club that you never thought you would be a part of.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: And Texas Oncology is fantastic, but holy hell, they want to know every fucking thing about you.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they do.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: The paperwork is insane.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: The the amount of times you have to answer these same questions, same questions, yeah, to different agencies, to different people, to different things, you're feeling it's there's so much redundancy, it's insane insensitive to me.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, well, and it's like why medication server, you know.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right, no kidding.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I know it's so stupid.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: It is, it really is, especially when it's all one hospital.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: I know, yeah.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so in filling out the forms for my oncology surgeon, my breast cancer surgeon, um, and the other surgeon that's gonna work with her in my um surgery, they ask for medications, like your your list of medications, and there's you know, nine different pages that you have to, you know, can that you can that's available for you to fill out.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't take any medications.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, next, next, next, next.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then right after medications, it was it was it was list any supplements you take.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: And they give you like a paragraph space, and I was all um, I was like, I'm gonna need like four more pages, and the lady just looked.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: At me and she was like, You you need more space for the medications?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, No, no, no, I don't take medications.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: I need you want to know everything I take, it's gonna take more space than this.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, Oh, and so yeah, they gave me addendum pages, and then I realized in those because of the way how not in tune we are with what we're putting into our bodies.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, instead of just having a space for the name of what it is with the daily dose and what it's for, it was very convoluted.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I I was getting confused when I was filling it out, and I was like, this isn't helpful.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well we know I can't remember what it was saying.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_01: But it was like, and I know what they're looking for, they're looking for stuff that's like high concentrations of um uh like turmeric or curcumin, something like that, that it thins your blood.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you're going into surgery, you don't want to have anything that thins your blood because it makes you more prone to bleeding.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um and the only thing I take that I need I know that I need to stop taking is fish oil because I take I take our fish oil, it's exactly 2400 milligrams of EPANTHA specific omega-3 fatty acids.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and but we have conflicting thoughts on how soon you need to stop taking that before surgery.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, okay, half the research I've done says seven days, the other half says 14.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, okay, well, I'm gonna ask my surgeon.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: This is one of my questions.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: I told you I made a little list of all the stuff I was gonna ask when I go back for my next appointment with them.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so I was like, you know what I need to do is I I understand and I know that a lot of um doctors, medical professionals, physicians, assistants, um, nutrition is not a required course for them to take in medical school, depending, you know, a lot of times.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: Which does not make any sense.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like general studies in medicine should have at least a small nutrition degree to go along with it, considering the fact that it's like this is what you put in your metabolism, should not be an optional course, in my belief.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and it takes several years for you to get to like that's the last art the last course you take in the last semester when you're getting a dietetic degree in nutrition.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, and everything is leading up to that.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think every every doctor needs to have that.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, that's an again, that's a whole other discussion.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_01: But I agree, yeah.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I tell my husband, I'm like, you know what I'm gonna do?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna print out all the stuff that I take.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show them.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you have no idea who you're messing with because I know exactly what goes into my body every day.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm measuring what's coming out, I know exactly you know where I'm at.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, um, and so I go to the website of the place that we work for, and I'm like, oh my God, this is gonna take forever.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not cutting and pasting all this stuff.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so we have um educational documents that we use to help educate our team members and things on how to make proper recommendations or what things you know to look for when a client asks for XYZ.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, you know what I'm gonna do?
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna educate that, educate my medical team.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, absolutely.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's really what I'm gonna do here.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I printed out the one page, we have we have something called a one sheeter, and I printed out the one sheeter for every single, everything that I take.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I got a little one-inch binder, and I put everything in page protectors, I'll put it up on I was like, and my husband was like, What are you doing?
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, if they ever want to know what I'm putting in my body, I want them to know not only that, but I also want my anesthesiologist to know.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I want everybody, you know, I want them to know what's going into my system and how my system normally behaves because that's gonna give them more information on how my body is behaving during a nine-hour surgery.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's an insane amount of time to be under general anesthesia.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: It is, it is.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and yes, I know they do it every day.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't make me feel like that.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter, it's still the fact that it's your body, you know what I mean?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_02: It's your body, and you know, any type of procedure, I don't care what it is.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, even when you were talking about the breast MRI that you had to have done, where you were kind of laying, like laying in the prone position.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: I, again, the whole time I'm thinking about it, I'm like, if my mom had to do this, I don't know.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Or anybody, you know, like, or if if somebody already has osteoporosis and their bones are weak, like the way you have to lay the so okay, I'm gonna go ahead and say this because people need to know what I do.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody needs to know.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody needs to know.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: This is how we do a breast MRI.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: You lay face down on a stretcher that rolls in and out of the MRI machine.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: You lay face down.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_01: But there are cutouts that they're like little baskets that your boobies dangle in when you're laying there.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: There's a bracer bar between the two baskets that lines up right with your cartilage of your breastbone.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: And the weight, and then you have to have your arms over your head with your IV in because they have to give you gallium.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: You have to put metal in your brain in order to see your breast light up.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Still don't understand that.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: But so you um have your arms over your head, which means that when you're in that position, the weight of your skeleton is all on this breastbone bracer bar.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and this isn't a three-minute procedure.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, it's like a long procedure.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know how long it took me.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_01: All I know is that my breath is the only thing that kept me that wouldn't get me there so that I could do it.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: They give you a panic button.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm claustrophobic.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: It was not a good day.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: What kind of breath work did you use?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, everyone I could remember at the time.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so they they give you what they call peaceful music, which was like this insane musac, like elevator weird, uh, like classical.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_01: It was just hard.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, why am I this this is what you think is relaxing for people?
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, that's not helping at all.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_01: No, then they're like screaming at me, so that you know they're like trying to talk over it, it's like you know, to tell them which makes it jarring and it's not helpful for relaxation.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_01: Um because it's literally like right literally, literally, yes, yeah, but with the crazy music, you know, happening um around it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then um it's cold in there.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: It is really cold.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I have this thought in the back of my brain.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: So they want the meta attention.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's what they want.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: They're turning the fucking air conditioner on, like so bad.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: So they're just boom, right there.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna show you everything right at the time.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: Well, all I kept thinking about was like a cow and like utter in a basket, like a metal basket, and just the pain of like your chest.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like how is this the how is this the best option that we've come up with in 2026?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because the way we're doing this, this is the problem really female.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: We are 51% of the population.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to hear that shit anymore.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm sick of it, I don't want to hear it.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, and then through the whole thing, I'm like I'm I've said I'm thinking of people and I'm like, oh my god, I have this person in mind.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, she couldn't get the fuck up.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_01: There's no way, there's no way she'd be so she would have already lost feeling in the arms, she would have had no circulation here.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I'm I was like at the point where I was like squeezing my muscles, just activating, like narrowing and doing all these things in there because I'm like, I need blood flow.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, this is not a cool position to be stuck in for this long for this anyway.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then I was like, oh my god, we've got to be almost done.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then I hear him come over the thing again.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it's time now for add to to add the contrast, which I had completely forgotten about.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, motherfucker.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, I need to get the fuck out of here.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so it um what ultimately uh did the best or helped me the most was um I got to like and my because I was so anxious, my breath was real shallow for me.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I can usually take a nice deep, like, you know, inhale of like 12 to 15 count, you know, and then out by 30.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_01: I was doing like six to twelve.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: And eight to sixteen.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's I think as I think that's as deep as I got was eight to sixteen.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_01: But that ratio breath.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was ratio breath.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: So um, and and that kept me from panicking.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: And um they when they came back, I really did feel like I was actually able to relax by the time it was over, maybe for just like a minute, and then they were like, Okay, you're done.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then they pulled me out, and then you know, it was just so weird.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, wait a minute, I'm like, you want me to just basically go from complete prone with the basket thing happening?
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_01: They had draped a blanket over my back, and um your titties is so fucking cold, and my whole body was so cold, my whole body was so cold, and then they were like, Okay, well, you can get up.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking to myself, I can get up from here and go right into like up to the dog position, you know, yeah, or whatever.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know how many of the population can't?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, and how mortifying does it have to be and and just degrading to these women, yeah, that they can't pick themselves up out of that position, that these guys have to come and lift them up and then hold them and hoist them and put them, you know.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: I anyway, we need to we need to seriously improve female healthcare, yeah.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Female healthcare for sure, all the way around.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Um is that appropriate to say female healthcare, or should it be yeah, female?
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because well, I mean, for that, uh although uh male breast cancer is a real thing, I just don't think that they have to, you know, for that one specifically.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_02: They don't have to hang their titties in udder bags, metal udder bags.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, they don't, because they don't have that.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: They don't have that, yeah.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_02: They don't have the tissue that we have, right?
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's different, it's different, it's different.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_01: I just feel like it's like degrading, like you said, and you know, yeah, the steps and the hoops, especially for, you know, well, the other thing is that every single doctor, oh, you're so young for this to happen.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I'm 46.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and most of the time it these diagnoses are more in the 70s range, right?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and and then and that's but that's constantly coming in my mind as I'm doing this.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_01: The the biopsies were insane.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was like, so you have to do the ones some two of my three biopsies I had to do were stereotactic mammogram biopsies, which means that they squished the breast in the mammogram machine in a specific angle with the top plate that had a little hole in it, a window, to allow the breast tissue to balloon up out of it.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then, and so you're sitting or laying.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: I had to be, I was sitting um with this thing clamped on, which any every everyone who's had yeah, a mammogram knows, but if you haven't had one, it's not a comfortable situation.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: Glow go slam your dick in a door and see how that feels.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or well, I yeah, if you're gonna hold it there for a while.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like it's not just boom and gone.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's like squish and then hold.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then they're like, hold your breath, we're gonna take a picture.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's not that part of it is still not cool.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_02: Slowly closing the door on your dick.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: And what I'm finding out now, because I have had so many people ask me, um, why do we even have to do mammogram anymore?
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_01: Can't they just do breast ultrasound?
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: And my answer is no, you have to do the mammogram.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_02: Because of the tissue, right?
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because it DCIS specifically is one that you can't find in an ultrasound.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: They have to have the imaging from the mammogram.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: So we need to improve that technology.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's really what needs to happen.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: But um, then for the for the for that kind of biopsy, they had to hold it in there and then stab you in the titty.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and it's not like a little teeny tiny needle either.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: And uh then the machine that they use to take the samples, um, it's it's it's it's kind of awful.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_01: It it sounds like um like an industrial milking machine, but it's just like as it's sucking ch tissue out of your breast.
• 34:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's just ridiculous.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: Boobies hurt just talking about it.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know seriously.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I think people need to know that that's how we do it there, and you and just with lidocaine.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um because I mean, like the first you know, they gave me of lidocaine.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and they're like, okay, you should be nice and numb.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then the first thing, and I I I I mean, I jumped in the chair, and my breast is in the machine.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: So when I jumped, it didn't go, and then it pulled, and it was just it was awful because I wasn't numb enough.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: So that that's not good, but I you know, I I don't know how well to check to see that you're you know numb.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_01: But I I also I'm pretty sure I know what it feels like to take a 22 round right to the titty.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: Because that's what it felt, it felt like it went in and just severed off the nipple from the inside.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: Um, oh god.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm a little traumatized for that.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I would be too.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: But um, so yeah, all of the technologies, the steps in the healthcare system, all that stuff.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: I um what I need to do is fuel my everything that I'm learning and use that to educate and to create awareness.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because yeah, even if you're doing everything right, you're not safe.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't plan for this.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_02: No one can plan for this.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: But what you what you said to me, you know, was hey, I couldn't have got through this without my breath work.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_02: You know, the knowledge that I have, the research that I've done 13 years ago when your mother-in-law, you know, passed.
• 36:42
  SPEAKER_02: It's like all of those things kind of coming together, right?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Preparing me somehow.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: Preparing you somehow.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, that's life, right?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_01: Every experience you have shapes you and teaches you something if you're paying attention.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I've been paying attention for a really long time.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and now I believe that all of those, those reasons, that's what saved me.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_01: That's what's given me the I guess the best cancer diagnosis you can get.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, talk about that for a second.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_02: So you found it stage one.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: And and which most people never find this one stage one, right?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: No, definitely not.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and like I said, if I hadn't been paying attention, I wouldn't have because it's not, it doesn't, it it's ductal carcinoma incites you.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times it's um considered stage zero breast cancer.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um in my case, though, the I guess calcifications um are much larger than they would ever like to see, and there's more of them, and they're but they're suspicious.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: They've yeah, that's what they kept saying.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this line of cells this way is very suspicious.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, mm-hmm.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm I'm hearing that a lot lately.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and uh because I have so many of the calcifications and they've it invaded my nipple, um that it just had to be I didn't have an option, I would I'm losing the right breast for sure.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and then they laid out the options.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: So because the cancer I have is hormone positive for both estrogen and res and progesterone, which what that means is it eats it it eats the proteins from um both of those hormones.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and that's how it fuels itself, and right, that's how that's how it's how it's gaining power.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so um because I'm in perimonopause going into menopause like full on now, my hormone fluctuations are going up and coming down, going up and coming down, going up, right?
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: And um so if I so the first option was take the right, um and then they would put me on hormone blocking drugs to block all production of horm of estrogen progesterone, um, and uh it's some form of chemo radiation.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's I forgot to say this type of cancer is the most uh what do they say?
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's the most common and the most curable.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I meant to say.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: Common and curable.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's the most common and it's the most curable, and I found it in stage one.
• 39:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um so here's the thing, like I know I can't really right, like we didn't plan for this, right?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't plan for Brian to die, you didn't plan to get cancer.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: And if you look at it, I was actively planning against it.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like everything with everything I do with the entire my entire life.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've dedicated it to um being different, being the change that I want to see.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but this isn't stopping you if anything.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_02: This is probably giving you.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just gonna fuel me now because now you're gonna fucking piss.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fucking pissed.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, like I but that was the first option, though.
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_01: Is the first option was to do take one, take the right, yeah, do hormones, do blocking, some kind of uh chemo and radiation.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: Chemo and radiation mixture, like they, you know, they had different options or whatever.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: And and um I may the way that I found okay, so or I could what I was trying to say about most common and most curable is this type of cancer is also 80% likely to reoccur within five years.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: 80%.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: 80% within five years.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: That's not good statistics, and that's good, that's not good math.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, why would you go through all of that?
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, first of all, and then not only that, but you and I both know because we are what we the age we are, yeah, doing the thing that we're doing with the women and the people that we're you know doing it with.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um we know the effects of some of these drugs and the side effects, the long-lasting, life-changing side effects of some of these treatments.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and we also know what happens to our bones when we are when we when we are no longer making any kind of estrogen.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_01: And we know that in a real way.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like we see it, we deal with hip replacements every single, you know, every day, every week, every month.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um and so I was like, what that doesn't sound great.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, or, you know, um uh bilateral mastectomy is an option.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: And at that point, um, you may I may not have to, depending on how she has to make sure that you know, all the tissue from the right one that there's nothing invasive or um anywhere where they didn't find it in any of the previous imaging.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um barring that, I should be able to come out of surgery and not have to have any hormone-blocking drugs, not have to do any kind of chemo or or radiation.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I just have to get through a ridiculous surgery.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm trying to really, really hard remember.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so lucky that I am who I am and I've paid attention because there's so many people that don't find this.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: Can we talk about way later?
• 42:40
  SPEAKER_02: Can we talk about the hot plastic surgeon?
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:45
  unknown: Fuck.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, um, he looks like an elven lord of some kind.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: I am like his piercing, piercing blue eyes.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: It scared the shit out of me.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it was nuts.
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: I he looks like he should be on the labyrinth.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: I he doesn't.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_01: He does.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and what's funny is I had looked him up because of course, you know, I'm like, oh, I get referred to this doctor.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: First thing I do is I'm gonna go research.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_01: Who am I going to see?
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to ask?
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_01: What, you know, am I comfortable going here?
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: Let me look at the reviews, let me look at the and so I see it and I'm like, oh, okay.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean, it's an attractive picture.
• 43:25
  SPEAKER_01: He's a plastic surgeon, right?
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's like snaggle tooth or something.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I go in and and have this um, you know, the for the initial consultation with him.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and he has been personally called by my breast cancer surgeon, um, who they work with all the time.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I found out had just done one of these um reconstructive surgeries along with the bilateral mastectomy all in one on Monday.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_01: And this was a Thursday.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, okay.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that was my first clue.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: To how how common it is.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: We can talk about that later.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: But um, he, his assistant comes in, she's like, Okay, Dr.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: Snyder's gonna be here, you know, whatever.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: She tells me what's gonna happen.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I'm gonna give you these really pretty little paper panties.
• 44:15
  SPEAKER_01: I need you to put these on and wear this little robe, and um, we're gonna be right back in.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, great, okay.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, here we go.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: And they have it's plastic surgery, so you gotta look at everything, right?
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, which I thought I was prepared for.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like trying to psych myself up because I'm like, this is gonna be awkward.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sitting on the little table and there's a full-length mirror right in front of me.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm staring at myself.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_02: And the lighting in the doctor's office is not good lighting.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did he's on his phone in the corner, super uncomfortable.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_02: He's like, find a happy place shaking, and he's like rocking himself in the corner, find a happy place.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm already my anxiety is already off the charts.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm fine, you know.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: I just met with the um oncologist that morning.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: And she had called and was like, Harry's gonna see you right at one o'clock.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: So we got him to get something to eat, and we went and saw him.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know, really.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: But so I'm sitting there in these little paper panties in this damn robe.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_01: And he opens the door and walks in, and instantly, I'm sweating.
• 45:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh fuck.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: Holy shit, are you kidding me?
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm just like, really, God, you're stuck in it.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can't believe you're gonna, he's gonna be this gorgeous.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 45:31
  SPEAKER_01: This is the guy you're gonna make pull on my skin and my fat and twist my little titties around.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck?
• 45:38
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, I was like, have never been, and it was just so weird.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he, you know, he's a professional and he's just like, he's doing his job.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_01: He's looking to see, okay, what do I have to work with?
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he's gotta figure it out.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you can tell, like, that's how his brain is working.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's a professional, right?
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he's just jumping.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh, this is gonna fit here, this is gonna go there, he's you know, whatever.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I was just like, oh my god, you gotta be kidding me.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have already feel so degraded and like a piece of meat and cattle, and I don't know what else.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_01: But um, yeah, it was odd.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I'm not saying he was he was very professional, he was very good, and he is very good.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's the best, really.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: He's like the best, yeah.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_01: But what's really funny is that um Denny was you know walking around, he paces a lot, he gets nervous and paces, he's got a lot of extra energy, so he's gotta walk.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: So he's just pacing, you know, waiting and stuff.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then so we're getting out of there, and he was like, Hey, he was like, You want to see his car?
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, What the hell?
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, How do you know which car is it?
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: You know, here's the whole thing.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_01: He was like, I have my ways, and so I'm like, okay, so we get in the truck, we're like getting relieved.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: We drive past this one vehicle in this one spot, and it has, and I see then that it has their their names on their spot.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like a reserved parking spot for the doctor.
• 46:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_01: But on this car on the back, there's a bumper sticker that says trophy husband.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh my god, now I have to get Denny damn bumper stick.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we do.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we do.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: So he has one.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but can I I mean like the other thing is too is like as he's poking and prodding you and kind of going through the surgery and everything, and then you know, come to find out like this is a major surgery that you're gonna have here.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's um it's a it's a deep D I E P deep flap reconstructive surgery.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: So they're taking skin, fat, and muscle from my abdomen, and they're gonna make me new boobies out of it.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um so in order to make that happen, there's a plug-and-play thing where they have to separate the fibers of your abdominal muscle to remove blood supply for the tissue they're taking and then transplant it basically into the chest wall.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: Into your pinto, well, no, it's under that.
• 47:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's an artery underneath.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: They have to take a piece of cartilage out of between a couple of my ribs because there's an artery right under there, a breast one, and that's what they plug it into.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_02: It's almost like they're re-rerouting.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_02: Rewiring the blood.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_02: Rewiring the blood supply from the belly to the chest.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: When he was explaining it to me, I was just kind of like, Oh, it's kind of like like Legos.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: And he was just like, Yeah, actually, I guess that it does, it works kind of like that.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, it's very interesting, but it's I mean, that's extreme, even for somebody like me.
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's a huge surgery.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_02: But what here's the other thing, though, is that many, many, many times they don't do that surgery.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: No, not all at once.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: If if someone is, I mean, it's not an option if your health is not there.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like a lot of people, um, because they have other um issues, diabetes, hypertension, they're chronic smoker, you know, overweight, um, other things, um, then that's not recommended.
• 49:01
  SPEAKER_01: They have to do the bilateral mastectomy, wait six months to a year, and then have reconstructive surgery.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: And at that point, you have different options for the reconstruction.
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, so I was able again, I found it right away.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm strong, I'm healthy, I have a decent muscle mass.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, it's all of those things are on my side.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: They're all in the right category.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and that's at the end of the day, that's all you can do.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, these this is how you control the controllables.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you control what you put in your face every day, you control how much you move, you control what kind of lifestyle you live, you control, you know, what kind of energy you're putting out into the world, if it's negative or positive.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, if I believe that positive energy is is created from respect and living in with respect into yourself and your surroundings and um the planet ultimately.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, and I feel like that, you know, the knowledge that you have should also help ease the worry in your mind.
• 50:14
  SPEAKER_01: I would say 50-50.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say 50-50 because I also know I also know more than the average bear.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that so I I know how a lot of things can go wrong very quickly.
• 50:27
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that's a good thing to know.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like that's how I was with when I was pregnant with the girls.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_02: It was like I wanted to know.
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: I watched all those like crazy trauma life in the ER, like pregnancy stories, because I wanted to know what could go wrong.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: So did I.
• 50:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was on bed rest and not in a good mental space.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it it just it came it gave me something to obsess over.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I it it I I am definitely like I said, I'm more educated than a lot, and so I know exactly what to do.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you can I have the best support system.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: My I have the best, I have the best clients, I have the best coworkers, the best friends, the best family.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, it's I'm I'm good there for sure.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I also want to be that person that can help others understand not just why they think they want to live a healthy life.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_01: Most people think they want to live a healthy life because they think they want to look sexy naked.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right, right.
• 51:29
  SPEAKER_02: It's not about that.
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's one thing.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's one part.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_01: Let's not be, I mean, we it's one part for sure.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_01: But at the end of the day, like you need to be healthy from from the inside out.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: From the inside out.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and and this is why.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I um have already changed the things that I can change um to give myself the exact best optimal, the optimal recovery options um by supplementing a little here and supplementing a little there and changing things and figuring out and getting plans on my recovery, um, you know, of what to do and um how to optimize my health through the entire thing.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because there are a lot of things that we can do that people don't think about.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 52:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so but I I think my my weed in plan for this um conclusion is that this time yoga didn't just change my life.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: I think it saved.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_02: I did, for sure it did.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because my practice is where I learned the connection to my body.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: And I knew when something wasn't right and I didn't write it off.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the only reason that I am where I am with the diet, with the prognosis that I have, yeah, um, and the potential outcomes that are there that are available to me.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's all because of that.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: And the years of studying and continuing to educate and to learn and to grow in this field, um, that's gonna give me the best possible outcome.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, basically, like you are in the best position possible to tackle this head on with a great team.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that the biggest thing that's gonna be there for you is going to be your breath.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been saying that the whole time because for you and for me, because we are every day.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, we are busy minds, we are monkey brains, and we will spiral, we will circle the toilet bowl about all of the what ifs, shoulda, coulda, woulda's, right?
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_02: All of those things.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that, you know, I sent you that James Nestor interview with uh Theo Vaughn, which I just I love James Nestor so much.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_02: I sent him a DM.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_02: I did.
• 53:59
  SPEAKER_02: I sent him a DM and just said, like, I mean, like I I have his book as my recommended require, not recommended, required reading for my teacher trainings.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know, I great read.
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_02: I should be like an Amazon influencer for that book on Audible because I s I send it to every single client, but like literally learning how to breathe, it can be the most calming, the most restorative.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's your it's your um cheat code to your nervous system.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's how to give yourself an override.
• 54:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, yeah, the vagal breathing, all kinds of you you can change how you're feeling.
• 54:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think that's really the only thing.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: Instantaneously, honestly.
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know how else you can do it.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_02: I mean movement, but movement's still gonna change your breath.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: So it's your breath that's the that's the control.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_00: The regulator.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 54:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's the metronome.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_02: And like I feel like that that practice is going to bring you a lot of solace, especially when you won't be able to move for a while.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, that's what I was saying to you the other day is like really thinking about breathing from the inside out because the muscles of your abdominal cavity, you know, your pelvic floor, all of the muscles around your ribs, your lungs, all of those things need to be worked from the inside out during a procedure like this where the outside is being impacted, you know, traumatically.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_02: So really starting to kind of look at that and moving forward.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, uh, I just I feel like it's just crazy that you know, we didn't plan for this.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we didn't plan for this, and and I think that if anything, this shows you that you know, strength it changes over time and kind of what resilience actually is.
• 55:51
  SPEAKER_02: So let's do a little pause before we get in the car.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: Take a seat.
• 56:00
  SPEAKER_02: If you're driving, stop the car, pull over.
• 56:03
  SPEAKER_02: You're not doing this while you're driving.
• 56:04
  SPEAKER_02: Don't be a dumbass.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you just got to your destination.
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_02: Close your eyes.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_02: And enjoy the colors, the shapes, the kind of dance behind your eyelids.
• 56:22
  SPEAKER_02: Take a deep breath in through your nose.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_02: Start from the base of your pelvic floor, expand your low belly, your midbelly, your upper ribs, your chest, your throat.
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_02: Open your mouth, release everything out.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_02: Draw your pelvic floor, get up, get your belly button, in and up and empty and empty until you can't empty anymore.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_02: Then breathe in.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_02: In and out.
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_02: We're not here to fix things or change things.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's just where we are today.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_02: We didn't plan for this.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_02: But we're here and we're together.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_02: This is the first interview I've done since Brian died.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_02: And um I'm just really grateful it was with you.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_02: I love you.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_01: I love you.
• 57:27
  SPEAKER_02: And we will follow your journey together as you kick cancer's ass.
• 57:34
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks for listening.