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Why do narcissists hate you family and friends? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we are answering the question, why don't narcissists
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  like your family and friends? Why don't they like your family
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  and friends if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  episode 995 of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yeah, let's get it. Let's get it.
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  February 1st, 2024. It's crazy that I actually
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  started going, this is like year three of full time posting every
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  single day on YouTube. It's kind of crazy.
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  Thousands of videos. But today, today we are talking
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  about why do narcissistic people not like your family and
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  friends? Let me go ahead and start this
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  off by saying not every narcissist is the same, right?
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  There are some narcissists that go hard as hell to get your
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  family and friends to like them, that go hard, go over, go above
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  and beyond to get close to your family, into your friend group
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  and whatnot. There are a lot of narcissists
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  that will do that. But there are a, there are a
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  there is a big sector of narcissists and toxic people
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  that absolutely despise the fact that you have friends and
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  family. They despise the fact that you
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  have people around you and whatnot.
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  And one of the main reasons why is because you they'd want to
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  isolate you. They don't want any type of
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  outside interference on this relationship.
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  I don't want anybody else in our space.
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  I don't want anybody else in our relationship other than us.
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  Just me and you, right? Just you and I, us two together
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  now. I don't want anybody else
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  violating this space right here into any outside influence.
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  I don't want anybody else to give you any ideas.
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  I don't want anybody else to say something or do something to you
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  that makes you to make you not like me.
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  You see, I don't want anybody in your ear influencing your
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  decisions other than me. Narcissistic people want to
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  replace your support system with them.
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  They want to replace your belief system with them.
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  You know, They want to be the little voice inside of your
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  head. They don't want anybody else
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  whispering in your ear. Hey, I know you like, I know you
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  really like Lee, but he might be toxic as hell.
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  He might be bad for you. They don't want anybody in your
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  ear saying that, right? Even if people don't say that.
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  Narcissistic people, a lot of us are paranoid as hell.
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  Like they they we think they are, even if they are not saying
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  that we believe that they are. It's a wild mindset that think
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  that every time you go out with your friends and family that you
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  either going to cheat on us or your friends and your friends
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  and family are going to influence you to leave me that
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  like that. Like my tricks don't work on
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  your friends and people your your close inner circle, right.
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  My tricks don't work on that, on them.
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  So I don't want them. I I don't want them to say, hey,
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  look, we see through. We know who he really is.
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  You know, we know who he really is.
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  Like he's not who you think he is.
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  He's not all that he that he pretends to be and so on and so
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  forth. You know what I mean?
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  So that does happen within these spaces and these dynamics.
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  So if you're dealing with a narcissist or a toxic person,
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  anybody for, you know, anybody for that matter that thinks and
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  talks like that, then you know what you have to do.
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  You know, you know, you know what you're dealing with.
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  You know who you're dealing with.
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  It would not because this happens consistently.
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  This is like something that happens all the time.
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  You know, once I got with this person, I didn't.
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  I never got to see my friends and family anymore.
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  Yeah, I feel like they they will.
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  They want to be my best friend. They want to be my mother.
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  They want to be my father. They want to be my kids.
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  They want to be everybody. They want to be your everything
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  because they don't want any outside influence in your ear,
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  you know? They don't want that.
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  They hate a lot of them hate that.
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  Unless your friends and family really, really like them, they
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  don't want you to be around them, you know?
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  But so it starts off, yeah, we know it starts off as being
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  sweet, right? It starts off as looking sweet.
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  It starts off as like looking like some sweetness that's going
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  on and what not. It starts off that way.
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  It starts off as like y'all going back and forth and y'all
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  spend every wicked moment together.
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  But then you like, OK, I need to get back to my regular life.
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  I have friends, I have family members that they want to see
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  me, that I want to see. But then they start showing
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  those little red flags that you might not notice.
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  They start feeling insecure, like, oh, I thought you wanted
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  to spend all day with me. What happened to me?
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  You get to see them all the time.
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  You grew up with them. We just met.
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  I don't want to see you all the time.
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  And it sounds sweet again, but it's controlling.
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  Now I'm going to start like, open your eyes to the
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  controlling nature of narcissistic people.
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  It sounds sweet, but it's controlling.
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  It's toxic. They don't want you to go go
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  home to talk to your friends and family, you know.
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  And another reason they don't want you to be around your
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  friends and family is because they are jealous of your friends
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  and family. They are jealous of the fact of
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  the fact that you have them. They are jealous of the fact
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  that you have a support system of people that can be there for
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  you because a lot of narcissists might not have that, You know?
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  Even if they do, they can still be jealous of your closeness.
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  They can be jealous of your relationship dynamics.
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  You know, they might not be close to their parents or their
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  siblings, or they don't have any close friends, but you do.
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  So they're jealous of that. They want to sever that.
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  They want to sever those connections because that makes
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  them feel better about themselves in their own
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  particular situation. They don't have this right in
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  front of their face to compare and contrast to, you know, I
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  don't have to see you hanging out with your friends and family
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  because it makes me jealous. It makes me angry.
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  I hate it. I hate it, you know?
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  So I'm going to make it seem like your friends and family are
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  just just more toxic than I am. I'm going to make you seem like
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  they're toxic and they're manipulative, you know?
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  Or they're influencing your toxicity and your manipulation.
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  I'm going to make you seem like you're a narcissist based on how
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  your friends and family treat you, you know, because I look at
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  you differently than they do, right?
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  Your friends, Everybody likes you except for me, right?
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  So you're the narcissist. You see how I'm saying, You see
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  how they can flip that? Because, you know, like most are
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  like for the narcissist. Narcissistic people tend to try
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  to have good reputations in the good public image, right?
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  So a lot of people might like the narcissist, but they treat
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  you differently, you see. So they'll try to make it seem
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  like the dynamic is different, like that you're the narcissist
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  and you treat me differently because your friends and family.
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  But it's manipulation. The intent matters.
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  Intent matters. They say that to try to
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  manipulate you to cut off your support system because they
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  might be jealous of the fact that you actually have a good
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  support system. There are a lot of narcissists
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  out there. They just they just hate it.
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  Y'all they really do. They really do.
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  They were like, y'all. Some narcissistic people are so
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  insecure and so jealous and so paranoid of your support system
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  that they will try to make it seem like you're sleeping with
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  your family members or you're sleeping with your friends.
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  Y'all, don't. They don't have to be different
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  genders. You can have the same your
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  friend of the same sex or the same gender and they will still,
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  you know, still say that you're doing that.
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  You know, they will still say that you're doing that.
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  Oh, you're going to go, oh, you spend a lot of time with your
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  cousin. You're going to be sleeping with
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  them. What?
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  What the hell? What?
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  I'm just saying it looks it just looks weird, you know?
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  I'm not saying you did it. I'm just saying it seems like he
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  would be. It's just weird how y'all hang
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  out all the time. I'm not that close to my cousin.
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  So what do you do? What?
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  You see, what I just say. I'm not that close to my cousin.
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  I'm not. That close to my cousin, I'm not
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  that close to my. Cousin, you said the instant
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  replay rear one with the slow down.
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  That's how it is. They all say stuff like that.
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  I'm not that close to my people, so you should be that close to
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  your people. They telling themselves y'all
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  listen to listen to what they say to you.
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  Sometimes you have to listen, like intentional listening.
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  You have to listen with intent with narcissistic people.
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  If you think you're dealing with a narcissist, if you're watching
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  my video, you probably think you're dealing with a
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  narcissistic person. So listen with intent.
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  Listen to figure out what they're really telling you, what
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  they're really trying to say. Because narcissist tend to tell
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  on themselves a lot. It might not seem like it, it
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  might seem far fetched, but a lot of narcissist tend to tell
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  on themselves quite a bit. You just have to listen, you
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  know, listen and pick it apart. I'm not saying listen and
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  confront them because confronting them y'all could end
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  up with you being just gas lit and manipulated just through to
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  the highest of to the highest of peaks.
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  So what you want to do is listen intentionally and formulate your
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  own hypothesis and conclusion when your own scientific method
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  on this whole thing, right? On this whole thing right here.
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  Because why? Ask yourself, like, why, if they
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  don't like you hang with your friends and family, or if you do
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  go out with your friends or friend, family members or
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  whatever, and they cause a ruckus.
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  And then every time you, even if they let you go out and they're
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  always on the phone with you, they're making it seem like you
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  know that you're out too late or that you're, you know, you're
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  ignoring them or you must be cheating because you haven't,
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  you know you're not responding to my text messages.
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  Like, they make it so they will make it so that your night out
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  is super uncomfortable. Like super unfun.
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  Like you've got blow. You ain't blowing your phone up.
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  And you know that if you ignore them when you get home, you're
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  going to get it or they're going to pop up on you.
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  Yeah, there's no, there's no way to live.
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  I'm like, I'm not telling you to leave your relationship.
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  I'm telling you if you can set boundaries, like if they have no
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  reason to believe that you're cheating, then you have to set
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  that boundary. Look, I'm not cheating on you,
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  but I'm not going to sit here and tolerate you blowing me up
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  every two minutes when you when I'm out with my friends or my
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  family members. I don't do that to you.
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  If I did that to you, it would be an argument.
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  Don't yell and don't let them overtake the conversation
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  because as soon as you say that, they're going to jump in and
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  say, well, it's different for me.
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  I'm not going here to do that. I don't know that you see what
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  I'm saying? Don't give them the opportunity
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  to guys like you'll manipulate you when you tell them.
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  When you're trying to set a boundary, it's your boundary.
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  You can set it. You can set the hell out of this
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  boundary and keep it moving forward.
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  You don't have to listen to the BS that they say you don't have
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  to. You know, that's what I'm
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  saying. I'm not telling again.
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  I'm not telling you how to leave your relationship because if I
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  tell you to leave you might not you.
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  It's me telling you to. You have to want to leave your
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  relationship. You have to be fed up enough to
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  leave your relationship. You know, Doctor Kerry McAvoy
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  said You have to have a breaking the shelf moment like you've had
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  enough they've done enough they've done too much to you
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  that you just you just done then you know everybody's shelf has
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  different takes different has a different amount of weight to be
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  applied to it before that shelf breaks.
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  And that shelf is like your tolerance level.
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  You know once you tolerate it enough you like, you know I'm
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  done. But if they this is the crazy
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  thing about this right here and there's this is I will end with
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  this right here. The last reason the narcissistic
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  people don't like going off to your friends and family members
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  because like like I said earlier, they think you going to
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  cheat on them and a lot of this is they've cheated on you before
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  they think you're going to try to get them back.
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  A narcissist bigot. One of a narcissistic person's
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  biggest fears is you matching their energy like you doing the
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  same thing to them that they did to you.
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  They that is one of their biggest fears.
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  They will drive them out the damn wall, up the wall, out the
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  window, down the street, you know?
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  So they're blowing you up. Super insecure that you're doing
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  the same thing to them that they're doing to you.
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  Sometimes you haven't caught them cheating or doing something
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  like that, but so they're projecting their insecurities
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  onto you. They're projecting their guilt
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  onto you. They're projecting the fact that
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  they've done this before to you. They're projecting that on you.
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  So that's what you have to understand.
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  You have to get that right there because sometimes they're
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  projecting their insecurities and their guilt onto you of what
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  they have done, and they don't want you to do the same thing.
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  And they think your friends are going to influence you to do the
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  same thing that they are doing to you.
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  So in, like, in the mind, intrinsically, they're just
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  like, oh, I got to stop them from doing this.
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  This will hurt me. You know, it's all about them.
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  Again, don't let them try to blow.
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  If they, if they do let you go out, let is in quotation marks.
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  You've been on the podcast. If they do let you go out, just
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  understand what they're doing in that space right there.
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  If they do let you go out and they're blowing your phone up,
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  don't try to let them say I'm blow.
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  Oh, I'm just trying to make sure you're safe.
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  I can't make sure you're safe. I'm supposed to be.
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  I'm supposed to protect you. I can't make sure you're safe
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  every two damn minutes. You see what I'm saying?
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  Don't let. Yeah, I'm just telling you set
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  your boundaries, and I'm not. Again, I'm not saying leave.
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  Just set your boundaries. So I'm going to end it with that
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  right there. Y'all Tonight, 9:00 Eastern,
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  9:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. We're back with waving the red
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  flags. Live show.
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  We're talking about religion and narcissism.
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  Going to have live guest on the show.
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  So if you want to come watch the show or be on the show, be a
• 13:09
  guest. Speak for a few minutes, ask a
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  few questions. Just TuneIn tonight, 9:00 PM
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  Eastern Standard Time on YouTube and Facebook.
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  See you there, Mr. Hill. This is out peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
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  for being here. If you haven't already, make
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  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
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  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
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• 13:35
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  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.