Latest / #Faith4TodayPodcast / 🎧 Episode 63 – Simplified Faithfulness | Loving God Fully in a Complicated World

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🎧 Episode 63 – Simplified Faithfulness | Loving God Fully in a Complicated World · #Faith4TodayPodcast

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Life feels complicated for a lot of people in today's world.
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But what if faith with God was meant to bring clarity instead
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of more pressure? In deuteronomy chapter 6, Moses
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reminds Israel that the heart of faith is really simple.
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Love God with everything you are and pass that love along to the
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next generation. In this episode, we're going to
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talk about simplified faithfulness and how returning
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to a few core priorities can bring direction right back into
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our lives. It's time for another episode.
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Are you ready? Let's go.
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Hey, well, welcome to episode 63 of the Faith for Today podcast.
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My name is Matthew. I am your host, and it's a
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delight to have you join us wherever it is that you're
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watching or listening from and whatever you're up to today, I'm
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glad to be a part of your day. Listen, our our hope and our
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desire is to help you not just be inspired on Sunday, but we
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want to help you integrate the truth of who God is into a life
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of loyalty, even on a Thursday. So we want to help bring faith
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to life today. And so that's our hope, that's
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our desire. So I'm going to recap a Sunday
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message. I'm going to share a little bit
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of bonus content and then respond to some questions as
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well. And hopefully our time together
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will help you indeed walk with more loyalty and faithful love
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to Jesus the King. All right, well, let's jump in.
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Here we are. We're talking about simplicity
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of faithfulness or simplified faithfulness.
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And in the message in the book of Deuteronomy, chapter 6 verses
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one through 25, I talked about what kind of we refer to as
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simplified faithfulness. Now, I'm a big believer in
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simplicity. Now, not the kind that ignores
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complexity, but the kind that cuts through the fog and helps
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you see clearly again. A lot of people today say the
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same thing. Life feels heavy and
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overwhelming. I get it Sometimes, though.
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It's not just about our busyness.
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It's about a deeper question in the human, in the human heart.
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Scripture tells us that God really does answer every one of
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those kinds of questions of the human longing through a
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relationship with Him, that that's the avenue through which
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our deepest longings are understood and met.
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Moses was speaking to an entire new generation of Israelites and
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he was reminding them that faithfulness with God doesn't
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have to be complicated. It's about wholehearted devotion
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that later Jesus would emphasize this same idea in the Gospel of
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Mark chapter 12, verse 30 and 31 when when he reminds us to love
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God with everything that you have and are and to love your
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neighbor as yourself. Jesus wasn't reducing the law.
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He was clarifying the motivation behind God's law.
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From there, we in the message kind of saw three simple but
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powerful ideas. First, that God wants us as his
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people to flourish. His commands aren't meant to
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complicate life, but to lead us into abundance and union with
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him. Second, we saw that God wants us
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to remember by passing along our faith to others.
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In Deuteronomy 6, parents are instructed to to talk about
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God's ways throughout everyday life, at the table, on the road,
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in the morning, at bedtime, when you wake up.
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Faith isn't just taught in formal moments, it's actually
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lived out in ordinary rhythms. And 3rd, we see that God calls
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us to fear him and follow his commands, which lead us to a
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rich, flourishing life. Love without obedience drifts
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into selfishness, but obedience without love turns into
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legalism. So the invitation is to
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cultivate spiritual friendships that help us stay faithful.
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Relationships marked by depth, vulnerability, and a shared
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commitment to transformation. When we simplify faithfulness
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down to loving God fully and remembering His goodness and
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walking with people who pursue him to life kind of has a way of
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regaining a simple clarity as we move in the direction of God
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with our faithfulness. All right, now let's take a look
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at just some bonus content. I want to remind us that the
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Jesus didn't only give us 2 commands.
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I think it's really important to hear this, that Jesus was not
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reducing what we do to only two things.
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Rather, he was reframing all that we do in our obedience to
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God through two things, right? Loving God and loving people.
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In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus defines what it looks like
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to love God and love people in in our understanding of loving
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our neighbor as we love ourselves.
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It's really about understanding how do we live a life of loyalty
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to God and that also includes helping other people love God
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with loyalty. It's not about permissiveness.
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It's not about acceptance even, it's not even about this idea of
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kind of letting people live their own life and just
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accepting it or affirming it. It's it's actually more about
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helping other people experience the love of God, grow in who God
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is and live like Jesus in their world too.
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That's how we love our our neighbor.
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It's actually about discipleship, not a
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permissiveness. And so Jesus is giving us these
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commands and, and, and much of what Jesus talks about.
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In fact, Deuteronomy is the most quoted book by Jesus in all of
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his teachings. He quotes from Deuteronomy more
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than any other kind of what we would call Old Testament book
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in, in the Bible. And so for, for Jesus, what he's
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saying and what we're reading in Deuteronomy shows up in the life
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and the teachings of Jesus again and again.
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And, and Jesus gives us this framework to help us understand
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how to live in loyalty to, to God.
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I want to look at Deuteronomy 6 verse 11 through 19.
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This was a part of the text that I, I didn't have time to really
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unpack in the message. And so if if I had more time, I
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would have done this. So, so let me give it to you a
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little bit of, of a bonus mini teaching and Deuteronomy 6 verse
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11 through 19. This is what the Scripture says,
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starting the second-half of verse 11.
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It says. And when you eat and are
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satisfied, be careful not to forget the Lord who brought you
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out of the land of Egypt, out of the place of slavery.
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Fear the Lord your God. Worship him and take your oaths
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in His name. Do not follow other gods, the
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gods of the people around you, for the Lord your God who is
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among you is a jealous God. Otherwise the Lord your God will
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become angry with you and obliterate you from the face of
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the earth. Do not test the Lord your God as
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you test him at Massa. Carefully observe the commands
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of the Lord your God, the decrees in the statues that He
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has commanded you. Do what is right and good in the
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Lord's sight so that you may prosper and so that you may
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enter and possess the good land the Lord your God swore to give
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your ancestors by driving out all of your enemies before you,
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as the Lord has said. Now first I wanted to to point
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this out that some of these commands and much of what we see
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commanded in Deuteronomy that is carried out in Joshua is an
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understanding of spiritual warfare.
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It's not nation to nation. It's actually a an understanding
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that there is a spiritual battle that is taking place in a very
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physical way. Now to understand that, I think
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you have to have a bit of a biblical understanding and
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framework for what we would call the unseen realm.
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In fact, there's a great book called the Unseen Battle.
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I believe it is by Doctor Joel Mudamali that that recently came
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out. And this, this book about the
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unseen battle really gives us a framework and a grid to
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understand why these other kings and gods that were being
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worshipped by other nations, that as Israel comes to reclaim
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what God has said is his land, his place, his possession.
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That there is a pushing back of these kind of unseen battle that
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is very seen in this way where there's some, some some evil
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demonic things that are taking place, very much evil.
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In fact, much of the commands to worship God alone, to have
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certain ceremonies, to not participate in certain things,
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to to to not to not allow their hearts to grow towards other
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gods. Like this idea of not following
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other gods or the gods of the people around them other than
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Yahweh himself was very central to the commands that God was
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giving his people. And so because it was central,
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this is where we get into things like don't have tattoos and
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don't cut yourself and don't mix certain linens.
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And some of these commands that seem very like obscure in our
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mind, a lot of them had to do with certain Pagan practices or
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Pagan worship rituals that God was saying, I don't, I want you
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to do anything that represents, replicates or would insinuate
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that you're moving in a direction of worshipping another
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false God or deity. And so it's really important to
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understand that's kind of the backdrop of what is about to
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occur in Deuteronomy and some of the commands and then the the
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conquests that are about to occur in Joshua.
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So if you want to understand more from a whole biblical
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perspective, I really do recommend the book Unseen Battle
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by Doctor Joel Mutomole. Another thing that I think is
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important in this particular portion, it says when you eat
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and are satisfied, be careful not to forget that the Lord
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brought you out of Egypt. In other words, I think it's
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important to realize that what we fail to celebrate, we fail to
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properly fear or give honor and respect to.
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So when we don't celebrate something as God doing it on our
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behalf, we will eventually stop giving honor to God that really
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does belong to God. We'll stop fearing God, and
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we'll start favoring ourselves in his place.
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And so ultimately, when we don't celebrate what God did for us,
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we start to take credit for ourselves.
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And that leads us to pride, arrogance, and opening ourselves
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up to walking in fear later. Why?
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Because oftentimes the thing where fear gets us is where we
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start trusting in our sovereignty and ability more
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than trusting in the sovereignty and the ability of God.
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Fear often creates anxiety in us because we are not walking in
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proper trust of God. We think the results the
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outcomes are up to and we recognize we don't have control
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over it. So rather than trusting God with
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the outcomes, we just worry and fret over the outcomes.
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And when we fail to celebrate, we find ourselves walking in an
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improper fear rather than proper fear and reverence of the Lord.
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Another thing I think is important is when we fail to
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celebrate, we start to forget the significance and the joy
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that God brings us, which then leads us to entitlement, taking
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things for granted. And ultimately it leads us to
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cynicism that disconnects us from relationships.
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Cynicism disconnects you from relationships.
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You can't have a rich communion with someone that you are
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cynical of everything they say. You grow cynical of everything
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they say they're going to do. You're cynical about them
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actually doing right. Like that happens.
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Like you start to have frustrations, little angst and
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annoyances start to creep up. Rather than enjoying being with
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them, you start to get frustrated just by their the way
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they chew, the way they respond, how they are dressed, what their
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their mannerisms. Those things start to bother
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you. Why?
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Because what you fail to celebrate in terms of
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differences, uniquenesses, or what they've done in
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contribution to the relationship, you eventually
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start to forget the significance of it.
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And it'll lead you to a feeling entitled, taking them for
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granted and ultimately leads you to cynicism that disconnects the
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relationship. That's in human relationship,
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and it's especially true in our relationship with God.
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God is just helping his people stay the course before they get
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cynical. And so he's reminding you, hey,
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when you eat and are satisfied, don't grow complacent.
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Don't start to complain and don't forget who's giving you
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this stuff. Otherwise you'll grow entitled
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and cynical and it will sour the relationship.
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And that's true in your life. It's true in my life, in human
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relationships, and in our relationships with God.
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And then he, he has this part right in the middle of this
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passage. He says do not test the Lord
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your God as you tested him at Massa.
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Now, first we have to ask ourselves what happened at
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Massa. Well, at Massa, it was the place
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where they complained and grumbled and God had Moses
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strike a rock and that rock produced water.
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In other words, they didn't trust God to provide water.
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So they complained and complained and complained and
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they, they weren't really walking in.
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They, they wanted something that everything else was, was, was
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there. And so there was a testing of
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God, but at the same time God was testing them.
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And I think it's interesting the the, this, this, this idea of
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Massa, this word Massa itself means testing temptation or some
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translations use the word Massa to talk about availing where
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there's a veil over your understanding.
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In other words, there's something happening and you
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can't fully see all that is happening.
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That's a little bit of what testing is, isn't it?
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When we feel that God is kind of testing our faith, we're having
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to have perseverance and patience.
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We don't fully understand all that is happening.
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Our eyes are a little bit veiled to what God is is doing.
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And what we need to understand is that the testing is that God
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is with us. And if God is with us, then God
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is for us. And if God is for us, then God
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will provide and guide us. And when we stop trusting in
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that, we start trusting in other things and art, we start testing
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God and, and, and kind of give up on God.
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And this is what God is warning them.
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Don't do that again, because it led to some really dangerous
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things. You forgot that God was among
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you, that God was with you. And I think the testing looks
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like this. Here's the here's the test that
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that we we face. Will you grow in complaining?
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Will you grow in cultural norms like the rest of the world then
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and live like pagans? Or will you go and grow in
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courageous faithfulness? This is the test that we face.
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And I think this is the the crux of what the test of Massa was
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that God was testing them. Hey, listen, children of Israel,
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will you complain about your situation or grow in gratitude?
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Will you try to live like the culture around you and start
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adopting mechanisms and and the gods of other people in the
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practices of the pagans? Or are you going to live with
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courageous faithfulness? Trust me to provide and guide
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and be with you all along along the way.
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Which one is it? It was here in this moment that
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there was a testing of veiling a a Massa.
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In Second Corinthians chapter 3, we understand that the people
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today, that we today can live with a veiled understanding of
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who Jesus is. Like there's a bit of a testing.
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Will we complain about life? Will we just kind of adapt the
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cultural norms of life or will we live with courageous
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faithfulness to Jesus? Will we see beyond what is
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veiled in front of us because the the let's just take your
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calendar, for example, the testing of our faith in
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relationship to our schedule. You might just see it as you you
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living your best life, but God is looking at your schedule as a
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test of your faithfulness to him.
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Will you surrender your schedule to him and let him set your
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priorities, your rhythms, your practices and your non
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negotiable standards? Or are you going to adopt the
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culture around you? Or are you just going to
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complain about time and not having enough and being busy all
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the time? What is your response to your
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calendar going to be? It's a Massa.
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It's a veiled test. And, and, and many of us, we, we
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have a veiled understanding of who Jesus is.
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There's the veiling in the New Testament talks about this idea
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of, of a veil that keeps us from the knowledge of God's presence.
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And we're not sure of it. In fact, there's a veiled
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knowledge of God's presence when people gather.
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I don't know if you're aware of this.
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Jesus said we're two or three are gathered.
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They're in my name. I am there among them.
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Do you recognize that Jesus is with you, that he's present when
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you gather with other people? I think there's a a veiled
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understanding to that in our culture today because we we're
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so committed to radical individualism that we think it's
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just about us and our personal or private relationship with
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Jesus. And while there is a personal
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element to our allegiance to Jesus, there is very much a one
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another corporate other people, a part of our relationship to
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Jesus. And so many people, I think
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today are veiled in their understanding and knowledge that
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when I'm together with two or three people in the name of
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Jesus, to to see and experience his love and to grow in our
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knowledge of God, that Jesus is uniquely present among us, not
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just with me in me and my as I'm the temple.
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No, no, when Paul writes and says you all are the temple of
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God and when you all gather together, there is something
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unique about the presence of God and the presence of Jesus that
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is their manifest among you. And Jesus said it.
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I'm there in the midst of you. And so we're two or three are
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gathered. Jesus is present where the
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Spirit of the Lord is Paul. Paul says in 2nd Corinthians 3
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there is freedom. This sense of the freedom is not
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the sense of freedom is a is a freedom from a burden and from
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shame being lifted so we can be bold and courageous to follow
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faithfully. This is what 2nd Corinthians 3
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is really all about. It's all about the he uses this
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example in 2nd Corinthians 3 about the rock, about Moses
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being veiled, about the people of Israel still being veiled,
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about us being veiled to not really see clearly the presence
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of God and, and to recognize Jesus among us when we gather
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together. And then that we're veiled in
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our faithfulness to him as we don't pass the test of
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complaining cultural norms or courageous faith.
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This is what he's trying to talk about in second Corinthians
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chapter 3. And then he says, I want you to
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fear the Lord and follow his commands to live courageously to
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follow. And this is what he's talking in
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Deuteronomy. And this is what Paul is
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reminding the Corinthian church in Second Corinthians chapter 3.
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And this is what Jesus is hinting at in Matthew chapter 18
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and verse 20 where he says where two or three are gathered in my
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name there. I am in the midst, so don't miss
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and forsake gathering together where I will be present in your
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name rather than you all by yourself.
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It's you together with others gathered that my presence is
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there. And when my presence is there,
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you're passing the test of of isolation.
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You're passing the test of cultural norms that says you can
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do it all on your own. You don't need anybody else.
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You, you gather with the people of God and you allow this
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freedom from shame and the burdens in your life to allow
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you to live freely and faithfully with other people
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that follow Jesus. You get freed from this sense of
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comparison and complaining all the time so that you can
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actually develop rich companionship with others.
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It's freedom from friendship. This is a double meaning.
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The Holy Spirit sets us free from friendship.
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From friendship has a double meaning worth exploring.
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One leads to individualism, the other leads to integrity of
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faith. So in other words, you can be
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free in your mind thinking, I don't need friends, I'm free
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from that. That would be the wrong approach
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to freedom. Being having experiencing
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freedom from friendship means that in spiritual friendship you
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are freed from shame. Why?
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Because in friendship, in spiritual friendship, it's
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silence of shame. I said at the end of the message
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that in community courage grows. In community, the courage to
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follow Jesus faithfully grows. In community.
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You are courageous in facing the test of masa, facing the test of
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will you complain? Will you succumb to the cultural
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norms or will you live with courageous faithfulness?
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And courageous faithfulness occurs, grows.
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You have the strength and the courage to live faithful to God
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when you're in spiritual community.
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And this is the test. And so you're not being freed
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from friendship in the sense of I don't need friends, I'm good
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on my own. And no, no, no, you experience
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rich freedom from friendships because of the friendships.
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And I think that's what we need to hold to the test God is
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giving us today. Is, is, is, do you believe?
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Do you believe it and value it? Do you prioritize it in your
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obedience that spiritual friendships help you grow
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courageous in your faith? Or do you live in isolation and
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adapt cultural norms and complain about life?
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The Lord is among you. The Lord is among us all.
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And this is what Moses is reminding.
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Don't you know that God is among you?
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He is jealous for you, and He wants you to pass the test and
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not test him like you did in NASA and pass the test that you
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experienced of your faithfulness, of your trust in
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him, in NASA. And your trust in God grows when
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you're around other people who trust in God too.
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And this leads us to the last kind of big idea that I want to
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share, and that's this, that developing and cultivating
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spiritual friendships isn't automatic and it isn't always
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easy, certainly not convenient. In fact, making rich spiritual
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friends as adults is really challenging, to be honest,
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because it's not convenient. And life is already consumed in
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our scheduling and comparison with other people.
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We are well rehearsed the older we get in life about comparing
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our life with other people. So you have more data in your
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life for why you shouldn't trust other people as an adult.
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Now when you're young and when you're just in college, you're
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you're still gathering data on whether or not you can trust
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certain people. But the older you get, the more
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cynical you get, the less trusting you become, the, the
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smaller your circle sometimes grows.
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The, and I think it's not wrong to have a small circle, but you
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need a circle. You need somebody other than
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your spouse or family member in the circle.
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You need spiritual friendships more than two people, because
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Jesus said where two or three are gathered.
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That's where I'm at. So you need you plus plus a
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spouse or you plus a friend and others around you to, to develop
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this, this relationships. You can experience the presence
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of God in a a a fresh and wonderful way.
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Now, the proverb says that if you want friends, you have to
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yourself be friendly. In other words, friendship isn't
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automatic, it's not convenient, and it's not done for you.
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You have to cultivate it. Even in a local church, there
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are opportunities for you to cultivate friendships, but we
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cannot force you to have friendships.
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I don't think that every person in the church needs to know
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everybody, and everybody doesn't need to be known by everyone,
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but everyone needs to be known by someone, and someone needs to
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know someone else. I think that's the part of what
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it looks like. And so there might be
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opportunities to cultivate friendships, but ultimately it's
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going to be up to you whether you cultivate friendships.
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And I think there is a world of difference between being
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friendly, having some familiar information about someone, and
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being a rich, deep spiritual friend with someone.
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And I want to give you some kind of just practical things that
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you can do to cultivate friendships, to cultivate
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someone who is currently maybe a stranger to where you can
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develop spiritual friendship with them.
26:07
How do you go from just meeting someone who's a stranger to
26:10
developing spiritual friendship with them?
26:12
It's not a short process, but let me just give you some
26:15
practices, some some practical things to help you make a friend
26:20
while you have a busy adult life.
26:22
OK, here. Here's what it is #1 create a
26:25
predictable hang rhythm. Busy people really do struggle
26:30
with spontaneous plans, but they can commit to rhythm.
26:34
So create a predictable hang rhythm.
26:37
I think this is one of the benefits when our groups meet
26:41
more than monthly, meaning either weekly or every other
26:46
week or bi weekly helps create a rhythm of predictable hangout
26:50
time. I know I'm going to see these
26:53
same people. I'm committing to show up to
26:55
this thing and it's something that I'm you're creating a
26:58
predictable hangout rhythm. There are some friends that I
27:01
cultivate, friendships that I have, and I have a monthly
27:04
meeting. It's on the calendar, repeated.
27:07
We're going to show up in each other's lives at this time each
27:10
month. It's predictable rhythm of
27:14
hangout time #2 stack your friendships on top of things you
27:19
already do. So instead of trying to add more
27:23
things to your life, start to establish friendships within
27:28
your existing habits. So if you are in a habit of
27:33
walking in the evening, invite a friend.
27:36
Invite someone that you're getting to know to walk with
27:40
you. Invite someone to join you at
27:42
the gym. You go work out in the gym,
27:45
you're ready to just invite someone to go to the your gym
27:48
session with you. Maybe you run errands with other
27:51
people. You call, call a fellow rancher,
27:55
say, hey, I'm going to go to the bull sale this week and you want
27:57
to sit together and then take turns buying the snacks of the
28:00
day and just hang out and bid on bulls.
28:04
I guess I don't, I don't know, find, find a hobby that you like
28:07
together. Maybe pickleball, right?
28:09
You go play pickleball together and have a, it's something that
28:11
you already do or want to do. Look for ways to forge and
28:17
interact with someone else on things that you already do.
28:21
So, so, so look to strengthen a friendship, grow in friendship
28:26
while doing something that you already are doing.
28:29
So you're not adding another appointment.
28:32
You're just in in interacting and integrating those two things
28:36
together #3 find a way to communicate consistently.
28:41
I think rich spiritual friendships develop over time
28:46
with ongoing communication, honest communication.
28:50
So I think group chats are way better than social media these
28:54
days. What I used to find enjoyable
28:56
about social media, I now find more life when I'm interacting
29:01
in a group chat. You can share funny things
29:04
together. You can share updates about your
29:07
day and life. Something fun that happens,
29:09
memorable moment, you can share it with with them and you have
29:12
an opportunity to in an ongoing, not so intrusive way, share
29:17
what's going on in your life and world.
29:19
And so I think group shots, 345 people, maybe more are a great
29:24
way to build that up. But but here's the deal.
29:27
If all you do is see somebody at church and you don't engage with
29:31
them throughout the week, you're not creating opportunity to
29:35
really get to know them. You still only know them in one
29:40
environment and not ongoingly. And so another way to
29:44
communicate consistently is to do a Bible reading plan
29:47
together. Maybe do the Bible recap with a
29:50
few friends. And so every day you're sharing
29:54
your Godshot with each other, whether you're officially doing
29:57
it in the Bible app or just over text message.
30:00
But you're communicating daily, communicating consistently with
30:05
them. And the more you communicate
30:07
together, the more you interact outside of your meeting times,
30:12
the stronger your bond will become and the quicker you'll
30:17
develop trust #4 I think a practical way to help grow in
30:24
friendship is to use micro invitations.
30:27
Sometimes large invitation feel risky.
30:29
Hey, join my group or be here this day.
30:33
Small ones feel a little more natural, like hey I was going to
30:36
go grab coffee after this thing, do you want to come?
30:41
Hey, I'm going to go for a 20 minute walk this afternoon.
30:44
It's really nice. Do you want to meet me at the
30:46
park? Hey, I'm watching the game
30:49
tonight. You want to come over and watch
30:50
the game? I'll, I'll buy the pizza.
30:52
Right? Like these are micro
30:54
invitations, small non long term commitment moments.
30:59
They're low pressure invitations that help strangers start to say
31:04
yes and become more familiar with you.
31:07
So. So you go from being a stranger,
31:09
to being familiar and friendly, to developing friendships, to
31:12
developing rich, trusted friendships.
31:16
That's the progression and micro invitations help that go #5
31:22
share simple projects together. Working on something together
31:25
has a way of accelerating your friendship with someone.
31:29
So whether that's home projects, yard work, fixing something
31:33
together, finding a solution to a common problem that you both
31:37
have with technology or, or something that you're you're
31:40
struggling with to understand. I'm cooking a meal for someone
31:44
else together, helping someone else move, a common acquaintance
31:49
move. Things like this help accelerate
31:52
friendship. So so people often bond faster
31:55
shoulder to shoulder than face to face.
31:57
So if you want to develop friendships, do something
32:01
together, side by side, shoulder to shoulder.
32:05
Another way to cultivate rich friendships is to extend the
32:08
conversation by 10 minutes. So most friendships start in
32:12
existing environments, Jerk, church, work, kids, events.
32:17
But then they end quickly, right?
32:18
Like they're done and off to the next thing.
32:21
A simple practice could be to linger 10 to 15 minutes longer
32:25
than usual. I mean, the first extra minutes
32:29
often can feel a little weird, but they often will lead to
32:33
deeper conversations. I can't tell you the number of
32:35
times even at Connect Group we are about to wrap up.
32:41
We've kind of finished the formal questions and discussion,
32:44
but rather than moving quick to prayer or moving quick to grab
32:47
dessert, will just linger there for about 5 minutes, sometimes
32:51
10 minutes. And sure enough, someone will
32:55
finally feel brave enough or confident enough or remember,
32:59
hey, I actually wanted to ask you about this or I wanted to
33:02
pose this question, or I'm really struggling with this.
33:06
And that's where you start to really get a little peek into
33:10
what's going on in their heart life.
33:12
And that's where deeper conversations often can occur.
33:16
Just lingering in a conversation a few minutes longer #7 become
33:22
the connector. Friendships deepen when small
33:26
networks form. So instead of just being one to
33:29
one, maybe introduce two people that you know that you enjoy
33:34
hanging out with to each other and invite both of them to come
33:37
with you along. And something that you're doing
33:40
now, invite three to four people to just a casual dinner, hang
33:43
out and you play games, host a backyard hang out.
33:48
As the the weather gets better, smaller communities rather than
33:52
just one to one can make it easier for other people to relax
33:56
and connect naturally. So, so rather than trying to do
33:59
it just one-on-one or one to two, maybe get like 3-4 or five
34:03
people together and that kind of helps others feel a little bit
34:08
more relaxed and connect a little more naturally as things,
34:14
as things go. And one thing that I have, I've
34:17
valued is often at dinner, if we're having like a dinner
34:20
party, I'll let let everybody, you know, once we get there for
34:24
dinner, what what kind of go? And I have a box of what what's
34:27
called table conversations. And over dinner, I'll open the
34:31
box and say, hey, everybody pick, pick one of these cards
34:34
and let's talk about it together.
34:36
And they're just questions. Some are are pretty shallow and
34:38
surfacey and just kind of get to know you questions.
34:40
And some are a little bit more deeper, a little bit more, you
34:43
know, dive a little bit more deeper into like personal
34:46
reflections and hard stuff. And they get to choose the kind
34:49
of question they want to ask. And so everybody kind of picks a
34:51
card and we just all take turns asking the question, reading the
34:55
question out, and then responding to it together.
34:57
And it helps facilitate casual conversation in a non
35:01
threatening way because there's a group of us kind of connecting
35:05
together in that way. The the last thing I'll say is
35:09
this #8 just normalize follow up.
35:12
Most friendships stall because no one takes the next step.
35:15
I think after a good conversation, a good meeting, a
35:18
good hangout time, send just a quick text.
35:22
Hey, great talking with you today.
35:24
Let's grab lunch next week or Hey man, thanks for sharing all
35:27
that you did. I'd love to to catch up in a
35:30
couple weeks. Maybe we can grab coffee in two
35:33
Thursdays or man, thank you for listening to my heart today.
35:38
I appreciate your confidence, your confidentiality rather in
35:42
what I'm sharing. Would you like to grab lunch in
35:47
a couple weeks? Things like that.
35:49
Following up signals intentionality and it turns a
35:53
single moment into an ongoing relationship.
35:57
So just normalized follow up. I think the the the
36:00
understanding is that friendship for busy adults grows through
36:04
proximity, through repetition, and through really just sharing
36:08
ongoing life. Not elaborate plans, but simple
36:12
moments, simple habits, small habits like predictable rhythm,
36:16
shared tasks, short invitations, and consistent engagement and
36:19
follow up. It gradually helps move us from
36:23
stranger to acquaintances to trusted friendships.
36:27
All right, let's get to a few questions and response now.
36:30
First question is this, What does it practically look like to
36:33
love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength in the
36:36
middle of a busy modern life? 1st, I don't know that you're
36:42
going to get, I think think busy is kind of a often more of a
36:45
state of our heart than it is a pack in our schedule because you
36:49
can be busy and rushed or you can have lots going on and still
36:53
be calm and present. So, so I think there's an inward
36:56
forming thing that we need to be aware of.
37:00
But ultimately, when it comes to loving God with all your heart,
37:02
soul, mind, and strength in the middle of kind of a normal,
37:06
everyday, kind of busy modern life, I would say #1 it looks
37:09
like rhythms of devotion. So having rhythms that you can
37:13
repeat of devotion to the Lord, times of prayer, Scripture
37:18
reading, serving other people, times of celebration and meals
37:23
with other people, intentional rhythms of devotion to God and
37:28
devotion to other people. Why other people?
37:31
Because if you cannot love the people of God, then you do not
37:35
love God. This is what he says in if the
37:39
way they will know that you're his disciples is that you love
37:41
one another In first John, he says if you don't like God's
37:45
people, if you say you hate your brother or sister, that's not
37:47
human brother or sister. That's it's not even a
37:50
colloquialism for brother and sister.
37:52
That's like family of God. So if you don't like the family
37:55
of God, then you don't love God. You cannot say the love of God
37:58
is in you if you do not love your brother and sister in
38:00
Christ. So, so rhythms of obedience,
38:03
rhythms of devotion to God and rhythms of devotion to one
38:06
another I think are important part of loving God with all your
38:09
heart, soul, mind and strength. I think your ongoing obedience
38:13
to the commands of God. What What has God asked you to
38:15
do? Has he asked you to cut
38:16
something? Has he asked you to to say no?
38:19
And has he asked you to begin a group?
38:21
Has he asked you to start serving, start giving?
38:24
Has he asked you to change your evening routine?
38:28
Has he asked you to engage with your kids more than be on your
38:32
phone? Like what is it the Lord has
38:34
been asking of you? Have you been obedient yet?
38:38
Is the repentance you need to make obedience?
38:41
And then I think ultimately loving out with all your heart,
38:43
soul, mind and strength is actually about spiritual
38:46
practices in an ongoing way. So prayer, scripture, worship,
38:53
generosity, Sabbath, spiritual disciplines, spiritual practices
38:59
like fasting and so on in an ongoing way for us as a church
39:03
this year there were five spiritual practices or active
39:08
spiritual acts of protest that we suggested doing right
39:13
reading, reading scripture every day, fasting and praying on the
39:16
1st Wednesdays, going for a 115 minute walk every week with no
39:21
technology, just you and the Lord enjoying a slow walk,
39:25
giving regularly and finding something to celebrate every
39:30
every month. One thing to celebrate, have a
39:32
meal, throw a mini party, do something celebratory every
39:37
month. These are spiritual practices,
39:40
spiritual rhythms of resistance to ways of the world that that
39:44
try to form us. And so these are intentional
39:46
ways of going in the direction of God and away from the
39:49
direction of culture. So that's what I think it looks
39:52
like to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and and
39:55
strength #2 how can parents pass on a genuine faith to their kids
40:01
without it feeling forced, performative or even legalistic?
40:05
Yeah, super, super good question.
40:07
I think #1 it is to remember most of the time we're asking
40:10
sometimes these questions because we're trying to solve a
40:12
problem in parenting. Like there's a problem that
40:15
we're having with our kids and we're trying to solve the
40:17
problem. I, I, I want to say this as
40:19
lovingly and as as as as kind of honest as I can.
40:23
Remedies are less important than good rhythms.
40:27
So you're not going to find like a silver bullet to fix
40:30
everything or even one thing. What you're going to find is
40:34
that formation occurs over time. So rhythms are more important
40:38
than remedies. I want to fix this.
40:40
OK, Yeah. If you want to fix it, you
40:43
actually need to create a better rhythm that moves you in the in
40:47
a different direction or towards a different outcome than what
40:51
you're getting right now. So remedies are less important
40:56
than good rhythms, especially around faith.
41:00
My kids don't know anything about the Bible.
41:01
Well, there's not a single devotion that's going to fix
41:04
that. But you can have a rhythm of
41:06
having biblical conversations with your kids in age
41:09
appropriate ways and that rhythm it's going to help you in the
41:13
long because formation occurs over time, not in one moment.
41:18
So I think another thing that helps it feel more genuine and
41:22
not forced performative or legalistic is to be genuine in
41:26
your devotion to God. I said it before, you can't
41:28
raise Christ centered kids if something other than God is the
41:32
center of your life. So if the kids are the center of
41:35
your world, if your kids are the center of everything that you
41:37
do, then God is not the center of your life.
41:39
Only when God is the center, when Christ is the center of
41:42
your life, you can help raise Christ center kids.
41:44
So your genuine devotion to God is going to lead and model for
41:49
them what genuine devotion to God looks like?
41:52
Feels like. Sounds like an axe out I think.
41:56
Bring them along as you grow in your own faith, as you learn to
42:00
serve other people. Bring them along and let them
42:02
serve too. As you pray for people, pray for
42:05
them together as a family a couple times a week.
42:09
As you're reading a scripture and learning something cool
42:12
about God's character, share it with them in age appropriate
42:15
ways. Figure out what they're learning
42:16
in church and integrate those truths into their life to just
42:20
bring them along with you in your journey as you grow in in
42:23
your own faith. I think it's really important
42:26
not to use Scripture or God in order to coerce behavior or
42:31
punish them. Rather, we want to use Scripture
42:35
and God, God like spirituality, if you will, to help them
42:39
understand the why behind what it is that you're asking them to
42:43
do so. So we use Scripture as a
42:46
motivation for why, not necessarily to coerce a what the
42:51
behavior we want. We want to help them understand
42:53
why this is important rather than just this is it.
42:57
And we're trying to use the Bible to like manipulate their
42:59
behavior. We don't want to do that that
43:01
that can make it feel forced, maybe even legalistic, but but
43:04
rather we want to help them understand why from the
43:07
Scriptures. And then finally, I would just
43:09
give us this thought that relationship with your kids in a
43:15
healthy way, with clear rules and boundaries is a healthy way
43:20
to parent biblically. Let me say it this way.
43:23
Rules without healthy relationships produce shallow
43:28
compliance. It will produce legalism and it
43:31
will eventually produce rebellion in them.
43:34
Rules without healthy relationships with you and God
43:39
will eventually produce shallow compliance, legalism, or
43:44
eventual rebellion. So make sure relationships and
43:48
boundaries or rules are paired together in a healthy way.
43:52
Here's the next question. What are some steps to take
43:54
towards trust, vulnerability, and accountability?
43:58
Yeah, I think it's important to to remember relationships can
44:03
only be trusted as far as they've been tested.
44:07
And that doesn't mean that you're like testing people to
44:10
see if they're going to be a good friend or not.
44:11
It it kind of is. But it's more of as you grow
44:15
with them through life and engage in different moments and
44:18
different contexts and different conversations, even, you see how
44:24
they respond to you, You see how they're trusted with their
44:29
character, how, how they're trusting information that you
44:32
would share with them. And you're kind of be kind of
44:34
just slowly gathering information around like, man, is
44:37
this somebody that I can trust? It's kind of as you gather more
44:41
attraction together, you, you kind of begin to see where the,
44:45
the level of trust can, can be towards someone.
44:48
Trust isn't built overnight. It's built over time.
44:53
And I think genuine conversations with other people
44:57
allow for compatibility and that eventually reveals character.
45:02
If those check off, I think then you can move to the next phase
45:05
of really building vulnerability and and more trust.
45:09
I, I think trust is something that you would extend in little
45:14
measures at a time. So, so trust them with something
45:16
small, maybe something confidential.
45:20
See if it remains confidential or not.
45:24
Ask them to pray for something. See how they respond to that.
45:28
Give somebody, pay attention to the reactions when you're
45:31
sharing something on your heart, how do they share?
45:32
Do they just turn it to a joke? Do they feel really
45:35
uncomfortable about getting close and and hearing, you know,
45:38
more, more and more depth things?
45:41
Is it only shallow? Is it always political?
45:43
Is it always like like reactions to what you're sharing?
45:46
Pay attention to that. And then how do they respond
45:50
when you invite them to engage in certain ways of thinking or
45:53
certain ways of, of, of, of activities that you're wanting
45:56
to do and engage? I mean that that may not be a
45:58
much of A compatibility thing, right?
46:00
So I think those things allow you to see where the trust is
46:04
and where it can grow to. Once trust is established,
46:08
that's when you can begin to be vulnerable.
46:10
Now, I do think there's a difference between transparency
46:13
or authenticity and vulnerability.
46:15
I think those two things aren't aren't quite the same thing.
46:19
In fact, I would maybe say it a little bit different.
46:25
I think transparency is about being honest as it relates to
46:29
your life, your context. That's transparency.
46:32
So transparency is really about being honest with information.
46:36
Vulnerability, on the other hand, is risking exposure with
46:40
someone that you trust. It's, it's this emotional
46:43
exposure. Transparency invites people just
46:46
to see you and know, you know, know something about you.
46:50
Vulnerability invites them to hold your heart in their hand.
46:55
I think trust and vulnerability or, or, or transparency and
46:58
vulnerability again, are a little bit different.
47:01
I am transparent with almost everybody.
47:04
I'm, I'm honest, I'm, I'm authentic.
47:06
I'm going to let them see parts of who I am, get them no
47:09
information, but I'm not vulnerable with everybody.
47:13
I'm not asking everybody to hold all of who I am.
47:16
I think vulnerability is given to trusted friends, friends that
47:21
are also transparent with you, that there's a a reciprocal
47:24
nature to the vulnerability. And I think there's a depth of
47:28
vulnerability that needs to be in a very small circle.
47:31
I'm vulnerable with many in our Connect group, but I'm deeply
47:36
vulnerable with very few in our group.
47:39
Not because I don't trust them, just because it's not healthy to
47:41
be that deep with everyone and everything.
47:44
I think that's appropriate. There's an appropriate level.
47:46
And so I'm transparent with almost everybody.
47:49
I'm not really lying or deceptive.
47:51
I'm pretty transparent. I'm honest with who I am and
47:53
about who I am. I'm vulnerable with trusted
47:57
friends only, and I'm really deeply vulnerable with even
48:01
fewer people. I think that's that's wise.
48:04
In fact, in John 224, it says that Jesus did not entrust
48:09
himself to them all. In other words, Jesus was open
48:13
to all people, but he didn't let everyone know right away his
48:17
mission and that he was the Son of God.
48:19
He he only entrusted some of his his more more inward or intimate
48:23
truths to the people closest to him.
48:27
In other words, I think healthy relationships require both
48:30
transparency and vulnerability. However, they are different.
48:35
Transparency builds trust because people begin to see and
48:39
believe the authentic you. Vulnerability, though, builds
48:43
intimacy. It's where people really feel
48:45
connected to the real you. Please remember, every
48:49
relationship needs two things. It needs trust or safety and it
48:56
needs love. Trust and love.
48:58
Trust and love. When you are transparent and
49:02
honest, it builds authentic trust and when you are
49:06
vulnerable and intimate, it builds a connection to the real
49:11
you. It builds affinity for it builds
49:15
affirmation for, builds love and affection for one another.
49:19
You another way of thinking that transparency says I'm not hiding
49:23
anymore. Vulnerability says I'm trusting
49:26
you with something tender. So transparency and
49:30
vulnerability are a little bit different.
49:32
Both require trust and moving towards vulnerability is the the
49:38
ultimate goal. There's more I could say about
49:41
the difference between trust and vulnerability or, or or or
49:43
transparency and vulnerability, but I want to kind of end that
49:47
portion there. And I think transparency always
49:50
precedes vulnerability in in those things.
49:53
Now when it comes to accountability, I think
49:55
accountability is invited by you, not initiated by you on
50:02
them. In other words, accountability
50:04
is something that because I do trust somebody because we do
50:07
have some transparency and there's honesty there, I trust
50:10
them enough to invite accountability.
50:13
I'm not going to force accountability.
50:16
Accountability doesn't necessarily have to be a two way
50:19
St. It should be.
50:21
It's healthy when it is, but it doesn't always have to be.
50:25
And so there are people who have like, hey, I want you to hold me
50:27
accountable to this. And so I'm checking in on them.
50:30
I'm asking them how they want me to hold them accountable.
50:32
I'm not just going to do it my way.
50:34
If somebody asks me to hold them accountable to reading the Bible
50:37
or to helping overcome a habit they're trying to break or, you
50:41
know, checking in with them if it's not something I'm doing
50:44
with them, but I'm just helping them along.
50:46
But like I'm going to coach them along, but I'm going to ask
50:49
them, hey, how would you like me to hold you accountable?
50:51
What would you like me to do? If you're not meeting the
50:54
standard that you want, How do you want me to respond?
50:55
I'm, I'm going to take my cue from them.
50:59
I'm not going to impose that on myself.
51:02
Most likely. Now that would be different in a
51:04
parent child relationship. I'm going to, I'm going to hold
51:06
my kids accountable to a standard differently than I'm
51:09
going to hold someone else to, to a commitment that they're
51:12
making. That's going to be a little bit
51:14
different at times. I'm not entirely, but oftentimes
51:17
it, it will. And so I want to be clear about
51:20
the kind of friendship that I'm having, the kind of interaction
51:23
that we're going to have when it comes to trust and vulnerability
51:26
and accountability. And, and I'm going to look to
51:30
invite accountability into my life before I demand
51:33
accountability over their life. And so I think those are some
51:37
helpful ways of understanding trust and vulnerability and how
51:42
they all play into developing kind of rich spiritual
51:46
friendships. Here's the last question.
51:49
God wants us to remember what He's done for us in the past and
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a great way to do that is to share the information, testify,
51:55
witness, etcetera, to others. It's important to read the
51:58
people you're with by being aware of their facial
52:01
expressions, actions and reactions.
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So what's the correct thing to do when you're witnessing to
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someone about God, the goodness of God and the faithfulness of
52:09
God, His love for everybody, etcetera, and the individual is
52:13
becoming maybe irritated or not wanting to hear it?
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Do you just keep blabbing or change the subject?
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1st, I love this question. I think it's a really helpful
52:22
one. I think there's a difference
52:25
between celebrating or sharing what you're learning and
52:28
experiencing in God versus witnessing to someone else about
52:34
God. I think those are different.
52:36
One is done in the context of friendship and I think deepening
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spiritual friendship, and the other is more in terms of
52:46
helping someone understand God better and connect to God
52:50
directly. So one is more about me
52:52
connecting with them and the other is about them connecting
52:55
with God. So if I'm connecting with
52:58
somebody, of course body language is important, but it's
53:01
likely that there's some friendship there that allows us
53:05
to move forward. But of course, if I, I start
53:07
recognizing I've been talking too long and somebody's eyes are
53:09
glazing over, they're getting really distracted and they need
53:12
to go. I'm going to give them, Hey, do
53:14
you need to head out? We can, we can end here if you
53:16
need to. I think that's, that's a good
53:18
understanding and, and proper way to do it.
53:20
Now, if I'm witnessing, if I'm telling somebody about God and
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they are closed off to it, I'm definitely going to be aware of
53:27
that. I'm definitely going to stop
53:28
short in that way. I think them getting giving you
53:32
permission to share some thoughts about God is first and
53:36
foremost. I'm not just going to go intrude
53:39
into someone's life and just tell them what I think about God
53:42
to help them connect with God. Even if we have some sort of a
53:44
relationship, I'm going to wait to either be invited to share or
53:49
lead them to be curious about something.
53:52
I'm a big and when it comes to like sharing my faith with with
53:56
other people, I'm a big read the moment, be present and let it
54:00
naturally come up. I'm a big a fan of like drop
54:04
some bread crumbs and see if they they bite, kind of drop a,
54:09
a sample on them. Kind of like let them grab a
54:11
little Costco sample before they like buy the whole bag from the
54:14
freezer section. You know what I mean?
54:16
Like I, I want to leave them wanting something and being
54:19
curious about something. It's not give them the whole
54:22
meal right away. So so if if I'm actually sharing
54:25
my faith or trying to help connect someone else to God, I'm
54:29
going to, you can just share a little thought.
54:31
Leave it alone. If they want to know more,
54:34
they'll ask a follow up or take bite on the conversation.
54:37
And if the conversation goes somewhere else, I'm all right
54:39
with that. I'm not feeling pressure to like
54:42
close the deal or seal the deal. I, I don't feel that I don't, I
54:46
don't minister in that way and I definitely don't kind of try to
54:49
share my faith in that way. I think relational evangelism is
54:53
a good, good approach to that to where and I'm sharing just
54:56
something, something little and they're going to either get
55:00
curious or take the conversation in a different direction.
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I'm OK with that. Jesus talks about not throwing
55:06
your pearls before swine. I think that's a good go to
55:09
filter if someone is just not interested.
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I don't waste my time, I don't waste my breath, and as long as
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I feel permission from the Lord to just trust Him with it, I
55:20
will. So I definitely don't try to
55:22
convince someone of something they don't want convincing of,
55:25
but I'm willing to be honest and truthful enough about something
55:27
that maybe they're a little bit curious.
55:29
They get a little sample of it, a little butt here, a little
55:31
nibble here, a little taste test here, and sure, surely, surely,
55:36
and eventually they might develop an appetite tight for
55:39
what it is that I've been serving up.
55:40
And when they're ready, I'll help connect them to the Lord.
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But most of the time that's done little by little and definitely
55:46
not trying to get it all done at one time.
55:48
Nor am I ignoring the context of the relationships, the
55:53
environment that we're in, how long we've been in the
55:56
conversation, and certainly not going to keep forcing it.
55:59
We're not trying to hold people hostage in order to get them to
56:02
Jesus. We want to just give them a
56:04
little bit as we go. But if it's a friend and we're
56:06
developing friendship and I'm sharing something the Lord has
56:08
done and the goodness and the faithfulness, I want to be
56:10
respectful of them. I'm going to pay attention to
56:12
that. But I'm also going to recognize
56:15
maybe they just don't want to have deep spiritual friendship
56:18
and they want the friendship just to be fun and not
56:21
spiritual. And that kind of, sometimes you
56:23
got to have a conversation and just go, hey, I noticed when I
56:26
share spiritual things with you as a friend, you're not really
56:29
interested in reciprocating or sharing about that is, is, is
56:33
there something about that that you're not interested in?
56:35
Is, is that not kind of, are you not wanting our friendship to
56:38
grow in that direction? I, I'm just looking for clarity.
56:41
And I think sometimes defining that kind of friendship and
56:44
relationship is important to do with friends.
56:47
So know the kind of relationship you're in, know the kind of
56:49
relationship you're after, know the context and that plays into
56:52
reading body language and what you share and maybe what you
56:55
don't share. All right, hey, I hope this has
56:58
been helpful. That does it for today's episode
57:00
of the Faith for Today podcast. As always, thanks for liking,
57:04
subscribing and sharing this out.
57:06
We love hearing how this is helpful and beneficial to you.
57:11
We love you guys and man, hey, let's have faith today.
57:13
We'll see you soon.