Latest / Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast / How Our Jobs Can Destroy Our Relationships

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How Our Jobs Can Destroy Our Relationships · Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast

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Today on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.
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Many of you right now are in the midst of pondering
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a new opportunity in your job. Maybe it's a new
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job that you need. Maybe you got laid off. Before
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you change jobs or accept the job that you desperately
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need, listen to today. I'm Dave Drew and this
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is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Right
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now we're in a series called Building Authentic
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Community. How to lift up those you love. And
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today, Chip tells the true story of a man named
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Henry, whose life was transformed by a small
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church until a bigger job offer pulled his whole
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family away from everything and everyone that
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had been helping them heal. From James chapter
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4, Chip shows us the two false assumptions behind
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almost every decision we make about work and
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gives us clear biblical guidance on how to actually
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get it right. Well, here's Chip with today's
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message titled, how our jobs can destroy our
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relationships. Five lies that ruin relationships.
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We are on lie number three, how our jobs can
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destroy our relationships. And I got to tell
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you, it's a miracle story. This is a miracle
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story. It is a true story. And it has a sad,
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sad ending and makes an amazing point. In the
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very first pastorate in Texas, in a very small
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rural town, about 4 ,500 people, didn't even
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have a stoplight when we got there. And we were
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in this little tiny white building about 10 miles
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outside of town. And we started with about 35
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people. And God blessed. And little by little,
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we grew in a real warm group. And we had probably
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grown to a couple hundred people and had remodeled
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an old high school. And then a fella came into
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town. His name was Henry. And Henry was next
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door neighbors to a seminary student that went
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to our church. And he began to build a relationship
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with Henry. And he said, you know, I think God
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really wants to reach Henry. And so he said,
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would you go over with me and let's meet Henry.
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I've talked to him a couple times out in the
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yard, but let's just kind of visit. And so I
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remember coming to the door, knocking on it,
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drapes closed. I mean, it's Texas, three or four
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in the afternoon, 102 degrees, bright, hot. And
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I mean, the drapes are closed. And I'm thinking,
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no one's here. And so we knock. And I look at
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him. He looks at me. I guess they're not home.
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And well, there's their car. And so we knock
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again and make a very long story short. Finally,
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we hear people talking. So someone's in there.
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It's like, why won't they answer the door? And
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finally, someone opens the door and we walk in.
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I mean, it's dark. I mean, there's like one little
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light. And it's, I mean, you talk about depressing.
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And we walked in and we. talked a little bit,
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made a relationship. He was very closed socially.
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His wife, I don't think, said an entire word.
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Some kids kind of came out, looked behind. And
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that was the beginning of a miracle in Henry's
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life. And this is with permission. Henry is a
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very good friend. Henry and his wife both came
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from as dysfunctional, difficult, abusive backgrounds
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as your mind can ever imagine. So sad. And so
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in great need, they met each other. And when
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people who come from horrendous backgrounds meet
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one another and get married, apart from the Lord
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Jesus, they just reproduce exactly what they
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came out of. And I wish I could tell you all
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that happened, but this is one of those great
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stories. The power of the body of Christ. My
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seminary friend loved them and communicated with
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them. It took time. Little by little, they started
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coming to church. And you can imagine with those
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backgrounds, they didn't have the greatest social
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skills, walking in ways where they sent all the
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messages that you say, let's not get around those
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people. They got problems. And this church didn't
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do that. They loved them. And people began to
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put their arms around his wife and care for her
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and began to invest in the kids. And Henry, though,
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you know, people can come from terrible backgrounds.
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Henry was really smart. And he worked at one
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of these places where they'd drill and die. But
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man, he could fix anything. And pretty soon,
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we had him working around the church. And pretty
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soon, he's involved with some men. And his kids
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had been through really difficult, difficult
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times. And you just watched him come out of their
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shells. This was like, And Henry actually came
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to the point where there was a little house and
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through some help of some people, we actually
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bought his own first house and he got involved
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in the life of the church. And I mean, it was
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like as clear a picture from darkness to light
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as I've ever seen in my life. And then as Henry
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began to grow and get into the scriptures and
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lead his family, you know, the drapes were open
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and they built relationships. And it was just
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like, It was like seeing a dead flower and then
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watching it just totally replanted and then start
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to produce fruit. And then Henry got a job offer
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because, you know, when God does things in your
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heart and life and things really get going better,
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well, pretty soon Henry's changing and he has
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more confidence and he is a very, very bright
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guy. And pretty soon they have him doing other
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things and he gets this juicy job offer. two
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states away. And it means more money. It means
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more, actually, some people reporting to Henry.
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It means, I mean, this is like, whoa. And so
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Henry prays about it, about 30 seconds, and decides
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that this is what he's going to do. And he's
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heading out. And so we stopped. And it was one
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of those times where, I mean, you never want
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to thwart someone's, you know, good fortune and
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that God may really be working. You know, I just
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sat down with Henry and he was now in a small
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group of men and we said, Henry, you need to
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think this through. What do you mean? So you
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need to think this through. What do you think
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this is going to do? It's been three and a half
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years. Your wife now has a friend for the first
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time in her life. Your daughter is in a school
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and some people are actually taking care of it.
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Your older daughter, who's been a recluse, is
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beginning now to open up and build some friendships.
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And your son's doing well. You actually own a
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house and are making progress. And I said, Henry,
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you got a church that loves you. And I just think
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before you say yes to this job, you ought to
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go check this out. And is there a church that
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is going to accept you and love you? And is there
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going to be education for your family? a great
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job is not the only basis for relocating your
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whole family. He said, oh, it'll all be fine.
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And he took the job. And about four months later,
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things did not work out. And his family began
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to get back in the very dysfunctions that they'd
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experienced before. Within a year, he had a very
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difficult time with his older daughter. Regression
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occurred with almost everyone. And about two
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years later, I remember my wife getting a call
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at home. Henry and his family were homeless and
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living in their station wagon. And he was in
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some state calling because he just had this connection
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with our family and would say, hey, I'm really
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struggling and I know you guys pray for us. Here's
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our situation, could you? And we're going to
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learn that sometimes we can make decisions about
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a job. that might be a great job, but that can
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destroy our relationships. There are some upwardly
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mobile vocational opportunities that because
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of the culture that we live in, we can automatically
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assume, I have this kind of job, now I could
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have this kind of job or this kind of opportunity,
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and we automatically do it. And the only thing
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we think about is the value of the job and the
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perks and the benefits. And sometimes we don't
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consider that we can actually make bad decisions
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about our jobs that ruin our relationships. And
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so let's pick it up together. What we're gonna
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do is we're gonna get to listen in. James is
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going to allow us to be like little mouse in
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the corner or a microphone in the room in James
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chapter four, verses 13 to 17. And there's a
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strategic planning meeting going on. The historical
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context is the Jews were forced Just persecuted
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and they were sent out and there were synagogues
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everywhere. And now the church is growing. And
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the way the church grew is that it was to the
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Jew first and then also to the Greek. So it went
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out and you notice Paul, he would always go to
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the synagogue first. And so now as the church
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is growing and multiplying, there were unbelievable
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financial opportunities. And these people are
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business people. And these people as the trade
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routes, you're going to learn there's a few words
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here that these are merchants. These are people
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that know how to start a business, see an opportunity,
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leverage the opportunity, make some plans. And
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man, we're going to hit it big. And so you're
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listening as this is happening over Europe and
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Northern Africa. James is picking up and you're
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listening to a strategic planning session of
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two people. And it says, come now. And literally
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it means, whoa, wait a minute. Wow. We've got
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an opportunity. You who say, today or tomorrow,
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we shall go to such and such a city and spend
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a year there and engage in business and make
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a profit. And so, James goes, wait a minute,
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come now, stop, reevaluate. And that little phrase,
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you who say, the word for say here means to you
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who have carefully researched and developed a
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logical plan. That's the word for say. Is this
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not casually, oh, you who say this? It's you
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who, after thinking carefully about what you're
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going to do, have come up with a plan, you say
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today or tomorrow, we're going to go to such
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and such a city and we're going to spend a year.
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Literally, it says we're going to do a year there
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and we're going to engage in business. And we
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get our word for emporium. It's merchants. It's
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a ground floor opportunity. Man, look at this.
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We're going to get the first market share is
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what they're saying. And we're going to make
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a profit. So notice what the business plan included.
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He chooses his time. It's very clear, today or
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tomorrow. Second, he selects his location, right?
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In business, it's location, location, location,
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right? So he selects his location. He's got a
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map out and he says, okay, here's the opportunity.
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Here's where we're gonna go. Notice he limits
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his stay. He says, we'll do a year. It's a ground
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floor opportunity. It's not, we're not gonna,
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we're gonna open another franchise in this area,
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in this specific location. He defines his market.
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We're going to engage in business. Here's our
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market. This is what we bring. This is the opportunity.
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And finally, he projects his profits. He's projecting
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cost. I have to believe there's a P &L statement
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somewhere. It's going to cost us so much to be
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here. Here's the opportunity. Here's what we're
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going to do. He has a very thorough business
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plan. And so you say to yourself, well, what's
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the problem? Sounds like a great opportunity.
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Sounds like Henry's opportunity. Man, more money.
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Better job? People reporting to you? He planned
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it. He thought it through. He examined the market.
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He set specific times. He has a specific goal.
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What's the problem? James is going to say, inspired
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by the Holy Spirit, here's the problem. The business
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plan excluded God. The business plan excluded
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God. James is not prohibiting planning. The Bible
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is full. of admonition that we should plan. He's
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not criticizing making a profit. The Bible's
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really clear. You know, be shrewd, be wise with
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your money. What he's criticizing is this, arrogant
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presumption or leaving God out of our plans.
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It's getting so excited about an opportunity
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of just immediately thinking, well, here's the
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opportunity. We can make money. It's upwardly
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mobile. Bam. It must be God's will. That's what
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he's saying is you arrogantly have left God out.
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of your job decision and your business planning.
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Notice what it says in Proverbs 16 .3. Commit
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to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will
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succeed. Or Proverbs 16 .9. In his heart, a man
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plans his course, but the Lord determines his
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steps. God wants us to plan, but he wants our
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plans to flow out of a sensitive heart that says,
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Lord, I see a great opportunity. I want this
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filtered through your will. I want to hear your
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voice. I want to depend on you. What do you want
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me to do? And is this the right job or the right
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promotion at the right time and in the right
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way? So it raises the question, why is planning
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apart from God so dangerous? And in verse 14,
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James is going to teach us exactly why planning
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apart from God is so dangerous. Because what
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he's going to say in verse 14 is that bad decisions
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about work flow from some false assumptions.
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Pick it up as I read verse 14. Why, he makes
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a statement, you do not even know what will happen
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tomorrow. You know, you got this big plan and
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you say you're going to go here. We're going
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to go for a year. We're going to open up this
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market. There's a franchise. It's a can't miss
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opportunity. And James said, whoa, whoa, whoa,
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whoa, whoa, whoa. So when did you get your crystal
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ball? You don't even know what will happen tomorrow.
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And then he asked a question, a big question.
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And notice he doesn't ask about his job or his
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work. He says, what is your life? So, I mean,
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what is the big ball of wax? What is your life?
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When you think about it. And then, in this translation,
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it leaves out a little word. In the original
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text, there's the word gar. It means the word
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for. And the reason, what is your life? He answers,
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for you are a mist that appears for a little
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while and then vanishes. See, the biblical answer
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to what is your life is you are a shadow. You
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are a vapor. The word for mist here was fog or
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smoke. It's the idea of fog coming up. It burns
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off by 10 a .m. I mean, it's here and it's gone.
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Your life is transitory. Your life is short.
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Your life is unpredictable. Your life is way
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different than you really think. And out of this,
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what you see is there's two false assumptions
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to planning apart from God. False assumption
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number one is that life is predictable. Life
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is predictable. It's subtle. We tend to think
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as things have been. so they will continue to
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be. And when we buy the lie, we set ourself up
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for disaster. The truth is life is uncertain.
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The truth is life is very unpredictable and that
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we don't know what's gonna happen. I was with
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a... executive in the Silicon Valley and he became
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a member of our board for a period of time and
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he was in the upper level of the top two, three
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guys at Cisco kind of in their heyday when they
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were the largest company and not that they're
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not in their heyday but that was when they were
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just acquiring, acquiring, merging, merging.
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and we were sitting on a plane because he joined
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the board and became a good friend and a counselor
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because I'm not good on the business side, and
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my theory is, you know, do what you're supposed
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to do and get really smart, capable, intelligent,
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wise people to figure out all the stuff that
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you're really dumb at. And so, you know, I would
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ask him all the questions about how do we do
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these things, and it was interesting. There was
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a copy of Forbes, and it had the top 40 wealthiest
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men on it. and it was an old magazine. You know
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how on planes they kind of get stuck, and so
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this one was almost a year old, and we pulled
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out a Forbes magazine, and he, because of his
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life and relationship, either knew or aware of
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most of the top 40, and he said, you know what,
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Chip, let me tell you about, here, you talk about,
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here's the problem in business, and he pulls
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out a pen like this, and he took that, and he
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goes like this, and I mean, it was like, see
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that guy, he's broke, he's broke, he's, what?
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He's broke. They went completely under. You know,
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a year ago, can you imagine in one year being
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one of the 40 wealthiest people in America and
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12 months later being, I mean, either broke or,
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he said, actually, and then he started to explain
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stuff about how you can make a bunch of money
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and on paper it looks like this and you have
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to pay taxes on what is on the paper, but you
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don't really get all the money. So when you go
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broke, you actually now have to pay taxes on
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all this. theoretical money. He said, they're
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worse than broke. He said, now they got debts
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there's no way out of. I thought, wow, that's
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interesting. See, we think things are going to
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be as they are. It'll be the same. We think life's
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predictable. It's subtle. I came across an article
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that talks about how unpredictable and how dangerous
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it is to plan apart from God. It says, Decca
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Records controlled the American music industry
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for decades. Their ear for talent was unmatched.
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Now, this is a little nostalgic historic here.
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As a result, they owned the giants of the time.
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Judy Garland, Bing Crosby, Louis Armstrong, Peggy
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Lee, Buddy Holly were just a few of the stars
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in their vast universe of talent. Then they acquired
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Universal Pictures and MCA. Decca Records was
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positioned to be absolutely unstoppable. But
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in 1962, after their talent scouts reviewed a
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group of mop heads from Liverpool named the Beatles,
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Decca said, We don't like their sound, and besides,
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guitar music is on the way out. Ten years later,
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the Decca record label disappeared. The article
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goes on, Economist Irving Fisher in October,
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this is great, of 1929, leading economist, said
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the stock market has reached what looks like
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a permanently high plateau. Just a few months
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later, a deafening crash was heard throughout
18:34
America as Wall Street collapsed. Final aspect
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of this, in 1942, Thomas J. Watson, chairman
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of IBM, said, there is a market for about five
18:43
computers in the entire world. There is no reason
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to risk our current success on such a limited
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venture. False assumption number one of why it's
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so dangerous to plan apart from God is we think
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life is predictable. Life is not predictable.
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The only guarantee is change. So you gotta ask
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God, what do you want me to do? False assumption.
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Assumption number two is that life is long. Not
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only is it predictable, it's gonna stay the way
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it is, but I'm gonna live a long time. We unconsciously
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think other people have car wrecks, plane crashes,
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and cancer, unexplained tragedy. I'm gonna live
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long, so I have plenty of time to do whatever
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really is important later. Remember the parable
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Jesus told in Luke chapter 12 of the man who...
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prosperity got so big, he said, you know, the
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only thing I can figure out to do is I'm gonna
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tear down all these barns, and I'm gonna make
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bigger and bigger and bigger barns. I'm gonna
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store and store and store and hoard and hoard
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and hoard, and I'm gonna eat, drink, and be merry
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because, wow, I've got it made. I'm gonna, quote,
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live forever emotionally. That's how they think.
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Remember how Jesus ends that parable? You fool.
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You fool. This very night, your life will be
20:01
required of you. See, life. We plan as though,
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you know those mortuary tables and they say,
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you know, you're this old and you're going to
20:11
live to this. Those are tables. Those aren't
20:12
real people. Okay? That means there are some
20:16
percentages and insurance companies kind of figure
20:18
those out. But you know, how many people you
20:20
think before the hurricanes that have happened
20:23
and the tsunamis that have happened, what do
20:25
you think that did to the mortality tables? I
20:28
was in India six days after the tsunami hit.
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And I remember talking with the people and it
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was an area that just got the fringe of the tsunami.
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And I talked with the person there and we were
20:38
right here and the beach was right there. He
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said six days ago on a Sunday morning, people,
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about 160 people were just walking, taking a
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walk on the beach and they heard an unusual sound.
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And so actually most people went closer to the
20:51
water to figure out what this unusual sound was.
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And he said in a matter, it just went. 160 people
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gone. I mean, regular people like you and me
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kissed their wife or said, hey, you know, our
21:03
daughter, we're gonna go take a little walk or,
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you know, it's Sunday morning, why don't we just?
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And they thought they were gonna come back home.
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You know, people on the 66th floor of the towers
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at 9 -11, I mean, they left voice messages. They
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had plans for dinner. They had plans for lunch.
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They had met with their financial counselors
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to talk about where they'd be five, 10, 15 years.
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The thing is, no one thought a plane's gonna
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hit a building. Life is short. And when we make
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job decisions apart from God and we somehow think
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that the economy and things and people and structures
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are going to stay the same and somehow that we're
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this exception and that our life is going to
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be whatever the table is and, you know, 70 for
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most people, 80 for some. I bet I'm an 84, you
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know. I'm the big exception. And we never intellectually
21:56
do that, but we act as though that is true. He
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says you get in trouble. I remember my friend,
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I told you I was gonna tell you a story because
22:06
at the time I was a very young pastor and although
22:10
it was good news for the church, I thought the
22:11
guy was nuts, Bill Carter. He was in his mid
22:15
-50s at the time and he was at some sort of group
22:19
that builds banks all over America and at the
22:23
present time, he had all the engineering responsibility
22:26
east of the Mississippi. And an amazing guy,
22:30
actually self -taught, and he had ended up with
22:33
degrees in electrical and mechanical and about
22:35
three or four different types of engineering.
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And he was in charge of all the heating and air
22:40
conditioning systems, all these banks that got
22:41
built. And so he did such a good job, they wanted
22:45
to give him all of America, relocate him to the
22:47
home office, huge salary increase, tremendous
22:51
number of people reporting to him. I mean, four
22:53
or five years in that job, I mean, he's set,
22:55
set, set for life. And so they gave him this
22:58
opportunity and he came to me and as the pastor,
23:02
and he taught me not only how to be a pastor,
23:04
but he taught me how leaders respond to pastors.
23:06
And he said, I want you to know that this opportunity
23:08
has come. And I feel like he had these little
23:10
phrases. He said, I feel like I need to take
23:13
it before the Lord. And so I got a business trip.
23:15
Well, I'll have three or four days. I can fast.
23:17
I'm going to be taking it before the Lord. And
23:18
would you pray with me, Chip? And then when I
23:20
get back, I'll talk to Kay and we'll discern
23:23
the will of God. And I'll let you know, because
23:26
I know it's a critical time in the life of the
23:27
church. And, you know, first of all, I'm not
23:30
around a lot of people who fast for three and
23:32
four days about big decisions, who really get,
23:35
you know, it's not about me. It's not about the
23:37
job. It's about what does God want me to do?
23:40
And so he does that. And then he comes back and
23:42
he said, And this was another one of those little
23:45
phrases. He said, Chip, the Lord hasn't released
23:48
me. And I'm thinking, you know, I don't want
23:52
to be stupid. Like, he's got a hold on you? He
23:58
said, no, he hasn't released me. And I said,
24:00
well, he hasn't released you from what? And he
24:03
looked at me like, hey, dummy, but was kind.
24:07
He said, I signed up to be an elder here. And
24:10
I have a three -year term. And we'll pray that
24:13
through and ask about what the next term would
24:15
be. And as I got before the Lord, he said, my
24:19
work's not done here. And the average Christian
24:22
I know, it would be, hey, you know, sorry, guys.
24:24
You know, I know the three in your term are,
24:26
I was supposed to do this, or would you take
24:28
me off the hook? And I'm not saying that there
24:30
might be times where God might want to move people,
24:31
but here's a guy who takes his spiritual responsibility
24:34
as being more important than the juiciest job
24:38
opportunity in the world. And he said, the Lord
24:41
told me my work's not done here. Little did he
24:44
know, I never dreamed I would leave that little
24:47
church in Texas and end up in California and
24:50
that just in the sovereignty of God, he taught
24:53
me. I mean, I did evangelism with him. I did
24:56
counseling with him. I learned to speak the truth
24:58
in love with him. I saw him weep for lost people
25:02
that he really cared about. I saw him take me
25:06
to task as I got influenced by people and challenged
25:09
me to have courage and speak the truth in love.
25:11
I mean, this guy was like a mentor. And I think
25:14
God kept him around for me because God had a
25:17
plan. I didn't know what it was, but those kind
25:20
of values are the difference between pastors
25:22
that make a difference and pastors that don't.
25:24
And so I ended up going to California later and
25:26
God chose to bless that into this really amazing
25:28
church. And then he has me doing what I'm doing
25:31
now. And I thought, where would I be without
25:33
Bill Carter? And Bill fulfilled his. And then
25:36
are you ready? He suddenly and tragically died
25:39
of a heart attack, massive heart attack at age
25:41
58. So all that extra money he would have made
25:46
and all those people and all that position were
25:49
not going to do anything in his glory years in
25:51
retirement, were they? He just listened to the
25:54
voice of God. Now, please don't hear in any way
25:58
we're not saying upwardly mobile opportunities
26:00
are not the will of God. I just think, especially
26:04
in American culture, we unconsciously think,
26:08
don't we? More money, more territory, bigger
26:12
salary, lower housing cost, more opportunity.
26:17
nicer car, company car, stock options. I mean,
26:21
it's almost like, why pray about this one? I
26:24
mean, God wants me to be happy, right, hedonism?
26:30
God's laying this in my lap. Could it be, could
26:34
it be that we need to ask? what would this do
26:36
to my spiritual life? What would this do to my
26:39
family? What responsibilities do I have before
26:42
God? How would this impact the education of my
26:44
children? What kind of friendships and where
26:46
and how will this impact my wife? What impact
26:48
might this have on my marriage? And if you weigh
26:51
all those out and pray all those through, God
26:53
may say, move from here to here. But what James
26:57
is saying is a lot of believers in that day just
27:01
saw, whoa, dollar signs, opportunity, let's go.
27:05
And they assumed that things would be as they
27:08
were, predictable. And they assumed that they
27:11
were going to live a long time. And he says,
27:13
you're wrong on both counts. Your life is a vapor.
27:16
Your life is a mist. You should be like Psalm
27:20
90. Lord, teach me to number my days. Lord, help
27:23
me to present before you a heart of wisdom. Lord,
27:27
show me what your will is. And so again, I love
27:31
James. Inspired by this spirit, he now turns
27:34
after saying, wait a minute, and tells us the
27:40
false assumptions. Now he shifts gears and says,
27:43
well, if life is uncertain, if life is short,
27:45
how should you go about making wise decisions
27:48
with regard to work? And then in the next few
27:52
verses, verses 15 to 17, he's going to give us
27:54
a clear explanation. Follow along as I read,
27:57
how do we make good decisions about our work?
27:59
He says, okay, in contrast, instead, literally
28:02
the word is anti. you know, instead or ante,
28:05
over against what you just heard, you ought to
28:08
say, if it's the Lord's will, we will live and
28:11
do this or do that. As it is, you boast and you
28:15
brag and all such boasting is evil. Anyone then
28:19
who knows the good, circle the phrase the good
28:21
because we'll come back to it. If anyone knows
28:24
the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, he
28:28
sins. And the word good here means morally excellent.
28:31
That which is... praiseworthy, that which is
28:33
winsome, that which does good things and great
28:36
things in the lives and the hearts of other people.
28:40
I think out of this brief three verses, God gives
28:46
us four very clear axiomatic ways to make good
28:51
decisions about work. He gave us the prescription,
28:55
you ought to say, if it's the Lord's will. He
28:57
gave us the reproof, don't be boastful and arrogant
29:00
about the future. And then he gave us the warning.
29:03
If you know what's right to do, it's good. And
29:06
don't do it, it's sin. And out of that passage,
29:09
I see four clear principles. Number one, in making
29:11
decisions about work, number one, make God's
29:14
will the foundation for all decision making.
29:18
Just, you know, who knows the future? God does.
29:21
Who has your best interest in mind? God does.
29:24
That's the part I think we don't believe. Would
29:26
you jot in your notes Psalm 8411? This is like
29:29
one of my most, I love this verse, verses. The
29:32
Lord God is a sun and a shield. The Lord gives
29:35
grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold
29:38
from those who walk uprightly. God's for, you
29:41
know what? He's not trying to keep you from a
29:43
good job with lots of money and all the things
29:45
you think you're gonna deliver. The Lord God
29:46
is a sun, unlimited resources. The Lord is a
29:49
shield, your protector. The Lord gives grace.
29:51
In other words, stuff you don't deserve. The
29:53
Lord gives glory. He wants to expand and multiply
29:55
and be good to you. He's your father. No good
29:59
thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly.
30:02
When you get that, then you say, Lord. You know,
30:04
I think a lot of us are afraid to pray. We're
30:06
going to say, Lord, do you want me to take this
30:07
juicy, wonderful opportunity? And I'm afraid
30:09
you're going to say no. So, sorry, I didn't have
30:11
time to hear you. Because we think we know what's
30:14
best for us. Who knows if things are gonna stay
30:17
the same? Who knows what's gonna change? Who
30:19
knows what's best for us? Who knows what transitions
30:22
our daughter, our son, our wives are gonna go
30:24
through? Who knows that maybe if I'm single,
30:26
maybe I'm leaving and God has someone in this
30:28
place instead of that? I don't know, but God
30:30
does. I came that you might have life, Jesus
30:32
said, and have it abundantly. So make God's will.
30:37
You know, you say, God, I want your will more
30:39
than any of my desires. Second, I think under
30:43
this is that commit and say to yourself, regardless
30:47
of the circumstances and the seeming can't miss
30:51
opportunity, I'm going to do whatever you say.
30:56
There's got to be a commitment of the heart prior
30:58
to the decision. I was doing a little research
31:01
and found out that in the old days, believers
31:04
would write letters to one another. And at the
31:08
end of the letter, they would just put in the
31:10
olden days, D period, V period. Anybody know
31:13
what that means? It's a Latin phrase. Deo valente.
31:18
And they didn't mean it as a cliche. You know
31:20
what it meant? It meant, if the Lord wills. See,
31:25
they would write a letter and they would talk
31:26
about, I'm going to do this or I'm going to do
31:28
that. I hope to come and see you and hope things
31:29
are right. DV. Deo valente. If the Lord wills.
31:34
In other words, it's with an open hand. I think.
31:37
That's making God's will the foundation. Now
31:40
let me give you, because I think this is important,
31:42
some very specific ways, I think, to make God's
31:45
will the foundation of all your decision making.
31:49
Here's how, when I have to find the will of God,
31:52
be willing to do whatever God wants you to do.
31:56
Underneath that, you might jot John 7, 17. Jesus
31:58
said to a group of people, if any man is willing
32:00
to do my will, he'll know of the teaching, whether
32:03
it's of God or whether I speak for myself. I
32:05
think, Almost 90 % of the will of God is getting
32:08
my heart to the point where instead of trying
32:10
to read into verses or read into counsel, God,
32:13
I will do, no matter what it is, I will do whatever
32:16
you want me to do. The second way that, at least
32:19
for me, to find God's will is to pray. Matthew
32:23
7, 7, seek and you'll find. Ask and you'll receive.
32:28
Knock and it'll be open. Ask God, Lord, show
32:31
me, show me, speak to me. The third, Is God's
32:37
word. Psalm 119, 105. Your word is a lamp into
32:42
my feet. It's a light into my path. So often
32:46
for me, just I keep reading where I'm reading.
32:48
God, you know it's a big decision. Lord, I don't
32:50
know what to do. I'm willing to do whatever.
32:51
I'm asking you. And as I'm reading, speak to
32:55
me from your word. So I'm gonna be willing. I'm
32:58
gonna pray. I'm gonna get into the scriptures.
33:00
And number four, wise counsel. He who dwells
33:03
with. Wise men will be wise, but the companion
33:05
of a fool will suffer harm. That's Proverbs 13,
33:08
20. So make God's will the foundation. And I
33:12
think that's how you do it. I'm willing to do
33:13
it. I'm asking. I'm in your word. And I'm going
33:17
to ask the people who know me best and who really
33:19
walk with God, what do you think of this opportunity?
33:22
And I'm not going to do what they say. It's in
33:23
the multitude of counselors, their safety. I'm
33:25
going to weigh that. The second principle that
33:28
flows out of this to make good decisions about
33:30
work is recognize the root cause of planning
33:33
apart from God. And that's in verse 16. As it
33:36
is, you boast and you brag. Literally, you take
33:39
pride in your arrogance. I like the Phillips
33:42
translation. He says, you get a certain pride,
33:45
as he translates this, in yourself in planning
33:48
for the future with such confidence. And I think
33:52
the key here is motive. It's in pronouncing our
33:55
plans or our capabilities as a statement of faith.
33:58
This is what I believe the Lord wants me to do.
34:01
But actually, when you get good at stuff, I mean,
34:05
when you know you're good, and by the way, it's
34:06
okay to be good at stuff. God made you good at
34:08
stuff. But that's where you can get tripped up.
34:11
You're good at it, and you know, hey, I've done
34:13
this. Look what happened. I've done this. Look
34:14
what happened. I've done this. Look what happened.
34:16
Here's another opportunity. I'm just going to
34:17
go do this, and I can tell you. I can tell you
34:19
what's gonna happen because I built that, I built
34:21
that, I built that, and bang, you know, I was
34:23
manager here, director here, supervisor here,
34:25
VP here, and when that great next juicy opportunity
34:29
is, there's something in the human heart. And
34:32
so I think we just need to be open and sensitive
34:34
to the Lord. God's will may be, that's the next
34:37
step. God's will may be, this is a test. And
34:42
you know, Jesus has these statements that are
34:44
so hard to get around. It's either me or mammon.
34:49
Remember that one? You can't worship it and me.
34:54
And so often, upwardly mobile opportunities put
34:58
us to the very test about what's the core value.
35:02
I remember when Bill Carter said no to that job.
35:06
I remember like coming home and talking to my
35:08
wife and sort of telling the story and going,
35:11
I can't believe that. It was so rare. It was
35:14
so unusual. But really it was his spiritual priorities
35:18
and relational priorities were higher than making
35:21
more money. Why would I be shocked that a Christian
35:24
thinks that way? You know, because I don't meet
35:28
many Christians that think that way. If Henry
35:32
would have thought that way, he would have an
35:33
intact family. If Henry would have thought that
35:36
way, his kids would be still flourishing. If
35:38
Henry would have thought that way, he'd be living
35:40
in his own nice little house in rural Texas,
35:43
growing and changing and stopping the abuse and
35:47
starting a new generation of people. And instead,
35:50
he's living in a station wagon. Every upwardly
35:54
mobile opportunity may not be God's will. And
35:57
that's the third principle from this passage.
35:59
Don't buy the lie. Upwardly mobile work opportunities
36:04
are automatically the will of God. That's the
36:08
lie. We just think unconsciously. Often we don't
36:11
even think. Upwardly mobile opportunity. This,
36:14
this, this. It must be God's will. And I would
36:16
say, do not buy the lie. Doesn't mean you shouldn't
36:19
take them. Doesn't mean not to pray about them.
36:21
It doesn't mean that it's more spiritual to say
36:23
no to those. The other test may be God is stretching
36:26
you. God's given you capacity and you were here
36:28
and the director here and the manager here and
36:30
the supervisor here and the VP here. And this
36:32
is a new platform for ministry. But you go there
36:35
not because of look at who I am and how much
36:38
I've got and how much I'm gonna make. You go
36:40
there as a steward of the manifold grace of God.
36:43
This is a big responsibility. This will mean
36:45
major changes if you still have a family. Before
36:49
I go, I mean, Bill, you know what he did? He
36:51
flew out. He visited a half a dozen churches.
36:54
He said, I didn't sense that I would have the
36:58
kind of fellowship that I need for where I'm
36:59
at in my life right now. It doesn't mean that
37:02
you don't take upwardly mobile opportunities,
37:03
but the lie is believing upwardly mobile opportunities
37:07
are automatically slam dunk the will of God.
37:11
And what James is saying is, they're not. The
37:17
fourth principle that flows out of this passage
37:19
in making wise decisions about work is to act
37:22
on your God -given dreams and impulses. In verse
37:25
17, what's it say? If anyone knows what the good
37:28
is, the blessing is, the beautiful thing, the
37:30
praiseworthy, the morally positive thing to do,
37:33
and knows that he ought to do it but doesn't
37:35
do it, he sins. In verses 13 to 16, it's a sin
37:39
of commission. It's arrogant planning apart from
37:42
God. In verse 17, he warns us about the sin of
37:46
omission. And so I would ask you, what is the
37:51
good that God has prompted you to do? What is
37:54
the good that you think he might be saying, hey,
37:56
see this passage pushes real hard on don't buy
37:59
the lie, upward mobility about your job. But
38:02
then not just with regard to the job. This is
38:05
sort of a summary statement. This verse, I think,
38:07
is summarizing where we've been in terms of the
38:10
teaching of James. Is there anything in your
38:12
life or anything in my life you say, this is
38:14
the good I ought to do. I ought to teach that
38:16
class. I ought to mentor that young woman. You
38:19
know what? My lands, you know, I've had a great
38:22
job and he's talking about all this stuff and
38:23
I got a 401k and a 701k and a 1501k and people
38:27
have had all kinds of problems and, you know,
38:29
in my honest, honest hearts of hearts, I'd have
38:31
to live about four lifetimes to spend all the
38:33
money. And I've hoarded my security. And I ought
38:37
to, you know what, I ought to divest. And all
38:39
the research I've done, I've worked with a group
38:41
called Generous Giving. They've done research
38:43
with people that are extraordinarily wealthy,
38:45
and they can't give you one or two instances
38:47
of leaving it to their children where it's worked
38:49
out well. And they have zero instances where
38:52
millions and millions of dollars have done anything
38:54
but totally corrupt and ruin their grandchildren.
38:57
And yet people have the stack of money. I remember
39:01
one guy saying, well, I mean, this is how we
39:03
all had that little, That little line that says,
39:06
well, I'm going to give over and above when I
39:08
sort of, this is okay. And probably years ago,
39:11
when I have a million dollars and I know sort
39:14
of net assets and things, I'll be okay. And then
39:17
it got to be 10 million and then 100 million.
39:18
And I actually had an encounter with someone
39:21
who said, you know something? I feel real free
39:23
to give generously, but it's kind of after you
39:26
have one billion set aside. And I'm thinking,
39:31
dude, how much steak can you eat in one day?
39:34
I mean, you know? And what I realized, what is
39:39
the good that we ought to do? Is it giving wildly
39:42
and generously? Is it saying that maybe some
39:47
of us in those middle or more twilight years
39:49
have more to offer, and instead of figuring out
39:51
how to lower your golf score quite so well, that
39:54
you invest your wisdom and your life and your
39:56
gifts in the next generation? I don't know what
39:59
it is. Maybe it's taking a risk. Maybe it's stepping
40:01
out. What is the good? What's the dream in your
40:04
heart that God maybe has been kind of saying,
40:06
hmm, that you ought to do? And he says, you know
40:10
what? This is an interesting definition of sin,
40:12
isn't it? If you know what's right to do and
40:15
don't do it, it's sin. And sin just means missing
40:19
the mark. And why does God not want us to miss
40:21
the mark? Because he's a sun and a shield. He
40:24
gives grace and glory. No good thing does he
40:26
withhold. His plans for us are great. Why is
40:30
James reproving these entrepreneurs and business
40:34
people from planning apart from God? It's because
40:36
your plans and my plans and their plans apart
40:39
from God will never land us in the best place.
40:43
He's a loving God. Think somehow we get this
40:45
idea that all of God's rules and all of his commandments,
40:48
you know, he's kind of just trying to keep us
40:50
from something good. His commandments are like
40:52
the guardrails on a windy road where that if
40:56
you go over the edge of the road, you drop a
40:57
thousand feet and die. All those commands and
41:00
all those guardrails, you know what they're for?
41:02
They're to keep you on the road so that as you
41:05
follow the road and get on the highway, you get
41:08
the highest and the best. But what I will tell
41:11
you is in the world that we live in, You'll make
41:14
a lot of tough decisions and you'll look very
41:17
different than the average Christian when you
41:19
make your plans, not apart from God, but surrendering
41:23
them to God. And I would guess a little bit from
41:30
your faces and just a little bit from experience
41:32
is there are some people in this room that took
41:35
some jobs years back and you look back now and
41:39
literally in your mind as I've been talking,
41:42
You thought, boy, I wonder why I took that. I
41:44
didn't even think about whether to take that
41:46
job or not. And then one of your kids went through
41:48
a rough time or that was, let's see, you took
41:51
the job. It was three years later. It's when
41:54
your divorce hit. The company that looks so rock
41:57
solid and you got the big promotion and then
41:59
stock options went down. They hired a new CEO
42:02
and they downsized. And some of you in this room
42:06
can think back to a job decision you made that
42:09
you just think, boy, I wish I would have heard
42:12
this about five years ago or 10. And I think
42:16
the danger is thinking there's no hope. The danger
42:19
is thinking, man, I did. I took a job and I wouldn't
42:23
say I was selfish and greedy. I just kind of
42:26
just did it, just made sense. And if you happen
42:32
to be one of those people with lots of pain,
42:34
I want to ask you just to jot down two little
42:37
chapters and I want to tell you a story because
42:40
I want you to know that you can blow it big time.
42:43
make terrible decisions, and even make them innocently.
42:48
And our God is a God of grace, a God of hope,
42:51
and a God of restoration. And jot down, if you
42:54
would, just in the corner, Genesis chapter 12
42:57
and 13. And you maybe can get a Coke or a cup
43:00
of coffee or tea or whatever you like and put
43:02
your feet up if you're in that situation and
43:05
read it. And the story is very simple. There
43:09
is a man who has a very... important relationship
43:11
with God and God calls him and he obeys him.
43:14
And he obeys him, but there's an opportunity.
43:16
See, you think about these kind of jobs and there's
43:18
some difficulty and it wasn't like exactly a
43:21
job, but the economic conditions caused him to
43:25
make a decision to go down into Egypt. And then
43:28
he got in the wrong place at the wrong time.
43:30
And so then that causes us to compromise our
43:33
integrity. And then he started telling some lies
43:35
about his wife to protect his own skin. And then
43:39
If you know the story, his wife ends up in Pharaoh's
43:42
harem. God disciplines and saves Abraham's wife
43:48
out of that situation, and Pharaoh is pretty
43:50
hot. And what you find is he leaves Egypt, and
43:54
that's not a pretty time. In Abraham's life,
43:57
he was a chicken, okay? He made a decision apart
44:00
from God. Circumstances led him directly to...
44:04
economically try and handle what was happening
44:07
instead of saying, God, you called me to this
44:08
place. I don't know how you're going to provide
44:10
for him, but I'm going to trust you. Instead,
44:12
he took a decision economically based. Then he
44:15
began a whole journey of lies that almost ended
44:19
him up completely in the ditch. And it's really
44:22
interesting that God is gracious to make him
44:25
aware that it's a mistake. And maybe that's what
44:27
he did for you in this room. And then... In the
44:31
end of chapter 13, as he moves out in the beginning
44:34
of chapter 14, you find him in a new land and
44:38
God sets out some new borders. And it says, and
44:41
Abraham built an altar to the Lord and he worshiped.
44:47
And I think at that altar, Abraham had some,
44:49
I'm sorry, that was not a good move. And I think
44:53
probably he and Sarah had a conversation, I sure
44:55
hope so, about I'm sorry. And it's interesting
44:59
that when you track Abraham's life, that wasn't
45:03
the end. He made a big mistake. But in chapter
45:07
15, God actually renews that great covenant and
45:11
God fulfills his promises even though he made
45:14
a major, major, significant, nearly fatal mistake
45:19
about where to be and where to go based primarily
45:23
on economics. And you know, I'd just like you
45:27
to know that's how God will treat you. And you
45:30
don't have to live with regret. You don't have
45:32
to feel like all is lost. There may be some pain
45:34
and some consequences. There were for Abraham.
45:37
And so I think what you need to do is just bow
45:39
your head and if that's the case, just say, Lord,
45:41
I'm sorry. And you know, whether willfully, consciously,
45:45
unconsciously, I look back in my life and see
45:47
that's happened and I want you to not only forgive
45:50
me, I want a fresh start. I want you to restore
45:53
me. And I want to be your man or your woman because
45:58
who knows how many years you've given me. I just
46:00
talked to a guy who remarried at 70 and celebrated
46:04
his 25th anniversary after his first wife died.
46:07
See, you know, your faces tell me, you're thinking,
46:10
you know, who wants to get married at 70? Well,
46:12
he did. He's got a 25 -year anniversary. You
46:15
know what? God wants so many people to live to
46:17
90. He's in good health, sharp as a tack. You
46:20
know, God may have a lot more years for you.
46:22
Life is short, but who knows? So let's not live
46:26
in regrets. Let's live about what God will do
46:29
in the future. You're listening to Living on
46:34
the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled
46:37
How Our Jobs Can Destroy Our Relationships. It's
46:40
part of our series Building Authentic Community.
46:43
And if you'd like to hear this lesson again or
46:45
share it with someone facing a big decision,
46:48
you'll find it anytime at livingontheedge .org.
46:52
You can also get these daily lessons downloaded
46:54
automatically by subscribing to the Living on
46:57
the Edge podcast wherever you listen. And to
47:00
hear Chip's original full -length sermons, subscribe
47:03
to the Chip Ingram Sermon Podcast. Every job
47:07
decision Chip talked about today eventually lands
47:10
on the people closest to us. That's why love
47:13
has to be part of the equation from the very
47:15
beginning. In his book, I Choose Love, Chip shows
47:18
that biblical love, what scripture calls agape
47:21
love, isn't a feeling that happens to you, but
47:24
a decision you make to put the good of the people
47:27
God has given you ahead of your own ambitions.
47:30
It's a practical, honest look at what it means
47:32
to love on purpose in every season and every
47:36
choice. Get your copy of I Choose Love at a special
47:39
price today at livingontheedge .org slash offers.
47:44
Some of the best decisions we ever make are the
47:47
ones that invest in something bigger than ourselves.
47:50
If this ministry has helped you think more biblically
47:53
about your work, your family, or your future,
47:55
we invite you to invest in it today. Become a
47:58
monthly partner or make a one -time gift right
48:01
now by going online to livingontheedge .org or
48:05
call us at 888 -333 -6003. You can also send
48:10
your gift by mail to Living on the Edge, P .O.
48:13
Box 3007, Sewanee, Georgia, 30024. Well, now
48:19
here's Chip Ingram. As we close today's program,
48:23
decisions have huge emotional weight and emotional
48:27
impact. And for some, I pray today was, you know,
48:31
a flashing light at the crossroads and you're
48:33
about to make a decision and you thought to yourself,
48:36
oh, thank you, God. I'm going to do it your way.
48:39
I'm not going to make assumptions. I'm going
48:40
to plan. I'm going to surrender. I'm going to
48:43
really seek you. And I pray today was just a
48:46
great gift of grace that will help you make a
48:49
great decision. But my fear is that for some
48:52
of you, this is something that you're saying
48:54
to yourself, you know, I already made the decision.
48:57
I bought the lie. Yes, I'm upwardly mobile, but
49:00
that job or that decision or that passion cost
49:03
me my marriage or a relationship with one of
49:06
my kids. I want you to know there's hope. Right
49:09
now, God is speaking to you to say, step number
49:12
one is let me forgive you. Was it wrong? Yes.
49:15
Have you paid a price? Yes. Has God abandoned
49:18
you? Absolutely not. In your heart of hearts,
49:20
right where you're at, just confess, Lord, I'm
49:23
going to own this. I'm sorry. I misstepped. I
49:26
was wrong. Will you forgive me right now? I need
49:30
your son, Jesus. Will you please come into my
49:32
life right now? I believe that he died on the
49:34
cross for me. I believe he rose from the dead.
49:37
And I want to surrender my life, my future. Oh,
49:42
God, I am bankrupt spiritually. Will you please
49:45
help me? God will hear that prayer, and that
49:49
will be the first step toward making the kind
49:51
of decisions to rebuild your life. Find a good
49:55
church that teaches the Bible this week, and
49:57
whoever you know that is the best Christian you
49:59
know, get on the phone in the next five minutes
50:02
and say, I just prayed to receive Christ. I'm
50:05
not sure what it means, but I know I need help.
50:08
God wants to help you today. to make the best
50:11
decision you'll ever make for all eternity next
50:15
time chip begins a brand new message with a question
50:18
most of us answer a little too quickly would
50:21
more money really make you happier don't listen
50:23
right here on living on the edge today's program
50:29
is produced and sponsored by living on the edge