Latest / Books4Guys / No Name Bastard - Tori DaCosta

Transcript

No Name Bastard - Tori DaCosta · Books4Guys

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Tori, like I said, I'm super excited to talk with you today, and I've been looking forward to this.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, I kind of want to just jump right in because your book, No Name Bastard, uh, I really want to know where you came up with the idea for the title.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, that is probably the number one question that I get.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: And it's it's so it's more challenging to answer than it should be, Chris, because if I tell people how the title came to be, it's a little bit of a spoiler alert when they read the book.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_02: However, I will tell you, um, I'll give you a clue.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_02: There's a pattern, right?
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_02: So, and each chapter is a one-word title.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_02: So that's a little bit an indicative of what's to come.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Cool, cool.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll read the the whole title, No Name Bastard, How Our Lives Teach Us What We Can Control, Manage, and Influence.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Love the title, love the message, as I'm uh a big proponent of practicing controlling what I can control.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it it's hard to do for a lot of people.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I think your book probably resonates and probably maybe strikes a nerve with some on what they need to be better at, maybe.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Vitori, explain your story.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Talk about your career a little bit because I I've got a little bit of it pulled up here, but I'd love to hear in your own words just your progression, what you do, and really what led you to putting this book together and now having this book out there for everybody to read.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, well, it truly has been a journey.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: And the reason is because author, well, first of all, I don't have a bucket list, but author was never something that I thought I would do, right?
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_02: It wasn't intentional, which is kind of strange for me because I'm very intentional about everything that I do.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: And in the case of the book, I have to back up a little bit to kind of tell you how things came to be.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I've been an entrepreneur multiple times and I coach business owners all day.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I just I kept recognizing that people were running into the same challenges.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_02: Like when you work with a lot of people, you see pattern.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I was in the middle or near the end of an executive MBA program.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: And anyone who's been to school, I mean, whether it's high school, college, you know, once you get to that last semester, you feel like you can see the finish line, right?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: I should I should have had the most fulfilling semester ever because it's like, oh, I'm almost done.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_02: But I had a very opposite feeling.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: And it was like, what's next?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like you, you've done all this work, you've got this education, I loved everything about it, built wonderful relationships, but it kind of caused me to step back and think about what are you doing with your life?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you in this program?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: An executive MBA program to prepare you to be an executive, right?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_02: The goal is to get to the C-suite.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: I started thinking about how I truly wanted to impact people's lives.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_02: And it was a quiet morning and the idea for the book came.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: And really just started with one chapter.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because I remember the idea for the book coming.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, Well, what am I gonna write about?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: I don't have a story.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, Well, actually, I do have a story.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: And the first story that came to my mind is chapter three in the book.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_02: So for those of you who read the book, when you get to chapter three, know that's where it started.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: But back to the people that I've been helping and how the book came to be and really wanted to make an impact in people's lives, I just recognize that a lot of times when folks come upon challenges, their mindset is the difference maker on what it looks like on the other side, right?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like how they how they perceive that challenge, how they navigate their way through the challenge.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had my fair share of challenges, but I've gotten to a space in life where I view them as a blessing.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: I think that they've actually made me a better human.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm hoping that through the book, people will be able to read the experiences, maybe do a little personal excavation themselves, because we usually have something there that needs to be cleaned out, all right, and learn from their own experiences through that framework.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the framework of what they can control, what they can manage, and what they can influence, and truly saving themselves some frustration.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_02: Do not try to control what you cannot control because otherwise that just leads to gray hair and health issues and all kinds of things that we don't want, Chris.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, that's right.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Tori, you're your everything you're saying, I I agree with.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so glad.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, I'm I love that you talked about you thinking you didn't have a story and then realizing you do have a story.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: I've had this conversation with so many people recently where I've said, whether you write a personal development book or a memoir.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody has a story.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody has things they go through and things they can write about and things that other people can take away from.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really my big proponent behind like books for guys is hey, there's their books are a cheat sheet.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Someone out there has gone through what you're struggling with, or they're dealing with something, you can go learn how that person got through it.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um instead of you know struggling.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: You can have again it's a cheat sheet.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: There's a there's a form there that you can go learn from.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I think your book it probably explains a lot of those things where people can go, I'm going through this, or hey, I'm I'm struggling with the way I think about this.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I should do it this way.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I think it's very cool that you number one, just just realize you do have a story, and number two, actually put things into motion to get this book out there.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's a big deal.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, thank you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: Books definitely shorten the learning curve.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, when I think about the the feedback that I've received from men in particular on this book, it's been beyond what I expected.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: So just this morning, I got a message from a gentleman who read the book, and the message was way too long to go over on this podcast.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: But the the end of the message was I forgave my parents.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, wow, like my book is not I mean, there's stories in there where I could see how he came to that conclusion, but he got all the way to the end of the book before he got to that space of for him, which was healing, right?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that was so rewarding for me because I don't know about when you grew up, Chris, but when I grew up, it was unacceptable and sometimes ostracizing for a man to express his emotions, right?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_02: Like there were a few emotions that were acceptable.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: So withdrawal was okay, um, anger was okay.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: But where I grew up, culturally, if a man expressed emotion or cried, he was considered soft.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: He maybe be called a punk or a wuss, something along those lines.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_02: So the thing I love about the feedback I'm getting from this book is that anyone, but men in particular, have a safe space to read through the stories, connect with the content, go through the lessons, and then if they take the time to actually answer the questions, they're gonna learn from their own experiences.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that alone is freeing for people because there's no judgment, right?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: And and my hope is that they feel like I'm there with them, guiding them along as they read.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: There's just so many things culturally that I think could be beneficial for people who read this book, but the biggest one for them as an individual is self-awareness.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love that.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're right.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: I think, and really, I think it's probably just something that's happened in recent years where people have started saying it's okay to express yourself, it's okay to get help, it's okay to broadcast these things.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, it it it helps you, but it also helps other people to see that.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I like you you're right.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: Back in the day, or not really back in the day, not that many years ago, if you saw a grown man crying or expressing emotion, it they were quickly like written off, and you're like, oh, I'm not gonna be like that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: And now it's now it's opposite.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, man, that guy's in tune with himself.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: He's strong, you know, he's strong enough to show his emotions, right?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so that's really cool that you got that sort of feedback just as validation of kind of where we're at as a society now, which is a good thing.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: But Tori, how has your personal aspirations, how have they potentially changed?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because you were talking about going to get your MBA and you shout out Atlanta.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: I saw Emery on there.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Emory, yes.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I want to shout out Atlanta.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: But and you know, your your goal, it seemed, was hey, how do I climb the corporate ladder?
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: How do I get this?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: But have and maybe that's still the goal.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: But since this book's been released and and since you've been getting feedback on the impact you're able to have with it, has that plan or professional aspiration shifted at all?
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or what does that look like for you now?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would say it's expanded.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was about to say I think expanded.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_02: Because, you know, again, for me, the question came around Tori, what will your impact be?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: And whether that's sitting in the C-suite, whether that's sitting at ground level, right?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, and I know this because of knowing how I'm built, that for me, the fulfillment comes from helping people, from seeing the change in their lives, from seeing those light bulb moments, from seeing them become aware and grow in ways that maybe they didn't even realize were possible, right?
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been able to do that at different levels of my career and leading a team and even within my business, Journey Stone, just the people that I work with there.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_02: But I know what's rewarding to me, and it is watching others win.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_02: So if I'm in a space where no one around me is winning, that is that is an awful day.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: That's an awful job.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want that job, right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: It truly is just about impact.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: So instead of boxing myself in and saying, I can only be this or only have to go down this path, what I've done is just allowed my gifts, God-given gifts, I believe, to be a blessing to more people in more ways.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: And without me saying it needs to look like this or it needs to go down this path or it needs to climb this ladder, I'm fine with wherever it goes.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's me and you are the same person.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I swear.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: I love, I'm the same.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: There is no better joy that I always say this.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I love to see my friends be successful.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I love people that I'm working with like to accomplish things.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think it's kind of weird.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't, I don't necessarily love praise.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to do a good job, but I love seeing other people get praised and them to like a light bulb and they hit another level.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's a good thing.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know I see some people like they just want to win so bad, you know, and they don't they want others to lose.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, man, when when one wins, we all win.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's cheer each other off.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I just love your approach and passion to that.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I did want to ask you specifically, you mentioned Journey Stone, and you had just started that like just over a year ago.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: What what exactly is that?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's a that's what you founded.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: I know that's a little bit different than your professional space, you know, more in the corporate world.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: But what is Journey Stone?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: So the book came first.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, again, I'm sending through this NBA program, and what's next?
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_02: So as the book came, um, I realized I was like, there's an opportunity to get this message out into the world.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: And how do we do that?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: So Journey Stone is the business platform where I go out and do book discussions or speaking engagements, really just to help people around their mindset.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_02: So we offer challenge accepted, which is one of the keynotes, and the other is seven-part person.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_02: And seven-part person was born out of a very challenging season for me as an entrepreneur.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: I don't write about that in the book, but there's, I think there's significant challenges that people face as entrepreneurs.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_02: There's a little more insecurity in certain areas, you know, versus being an employee.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And the demands are just different.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_02: The risk tolerance is different.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: So, with that being said, I took some of the, I'll say more adult and very challenging experiences through those years and different experiences and wrapped them into keynotes.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Now, challenge accepted is more along the lines of no name bastard, name no name bastard, but um, seven-part person is really looking at you as a whole person and making sure that you're in alignment and healthy in multiple areas because what I learned, and I really I learned it from a pair of sneakers, Chris, of all things.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: So I I love fitness.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: I love fitness.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: My daughter talked me into running a marathon, but we won't talk about that.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, but I bought the wrong type of shoes, sneakers to run in.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I never have I never have knee issues, I never have back issues.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: And all of a sudden I was having knee issues.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: And then the knee issues turn into back issues, and I'm like, what is going on?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_02: I've been working out for years.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: This has never been a problem.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: So the shoes are sitting on a shelf in my closet, and I look and I notice that the angle of that shoe is different than all the other shoes.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, hmm.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_02: I wonder if that's what's causing the knee pain.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_02: So I go to one of those shoe stores that they actually know the function, not just the fashion, right?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like they made me say, run on a treadmill, we want to see your your stride.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, hey, I just need these knees to stop hurting.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I get in there and they're like, Yes, absolutely your shoes.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_02: And my lesson from that was that small misalignment, just a tilt of the heel on my shoe, caused my knees to hurt, my back to hurt, and just general discomfort.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: And our lives function a lot like that.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, they do.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't think people realize how detrimental a misalignment can be.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: You're having issues with your spouse, that might show up at work.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: You're stressed about your kids, you may not be able to think clearly, and you're overspending, right?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like there's so many areas where if you have misalignment in one, it can cause issues in the other.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_02: And the first step is being aware so that it's not getting out of hand.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love that.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: Do the the people, your mission behind this is a lot of it more geared, and you've said keynote.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm kind of more going down the path of what your goals and vision look like for this.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Is it to work individually with people or to work with groups of people at companies or or a mixture of both, and you're kind of letting this thing organically grow the way it needs to?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: But because I kind of hear, I think of it this way, you know, we all need coaching and direction.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Even the best of the best to refine your craft and to stay on top of your game, to make sure you're aligned, you get the wheel rounded, like the bicycle, if one spokes off, you know, there's a bump in the road, kind of similar to what you're describing.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm curious to know, do you feel you can have a bigger impact working with larger groups, or do you see yourself having more one-on-one type coaching conversations or just kind of what's your platform looks like?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm hearing everything.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yes, yes, yes.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: But what's your kind of vision and plan for the work you do?
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_02: So the keynotes, of course, are designed for larger groups, right?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: So associations, businesses, companies, things of that nature.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: But I do, I work with individuals and I work with small groups as well.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: The message looks a little different because when you're talking to a large group, you typically cannot be as interactive in the same way as you can with the smaller group.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: And in that one-on-one, it's much more intimate, right?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like people will open up and share things that they would never say in a group.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: So the impact looks different depending on the group size.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_02: But Journey Stone in particular, we're looking at larger groups and getting in front of the audiences.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, very cool.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where did you get your confidence and your ability to lead from?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it, did you grow up with parents who instilled that?
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Did you have mentors that helped coach you along the way?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: But where did you refine your tools at to get to where you're at now, where you're now sending the elevator back down and helping those people climb up as well?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the best part, right?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Sending the elevator back down to help people.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: But to answer your question, it's a layer.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_02: So when people read No Name Bastard, they may be surprised to see the version of Tory that's standing in front of them today, right?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_02: Because the reality is, Chris, with my beginning, I mean, all of us are statistics to some degree, but I could have easily been a statistic.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: So the things that they read, especially folks that know me that have read the book, they're like, wow, I would have never guessed that that was a part of your journey.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I did have a mother, or excuse me, didn't have.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_02: I do have, she's still alive.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: I do have a mother who who told me at a very young age, she said, Tori, you can do anything you put your mind to.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_02: And I believed her.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: And I told her, I'm really glad that I didn't think I could fly because she just gave me so much belief that I could do anything.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_02: I might have tried.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: Like just jump off and see what happens.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: Thankfully I was smart enough not to do that.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: But because she started teaching me that early, I would look at other folks and say, hmm, if they're doing it, it's it's possible.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: I can do it.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_02: So I was never afraid to try things.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: And then as I kept growing, I always had someone in my life, whether it was a teacher, whether it was an employer, always had someone in my life who believed that I was capable of more than what I was doing at that moment.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: And they were willing to stretch me and I was willing to say yes.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I just went for it.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_02: And if it didn't work out, I learned a lesson, right?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: I you just learn along the way.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: So I have been okay with risk.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: I've been okay with trying new things.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: And if someone is on my path that believes in me and they want to help me and support me, that's a plus.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: Now I will tell you, because I've had people in my life that have been supportive in that way, I know the power of it.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_02: So it makes me that much more willing to be that for someone else when I see potential in them because I think it makes a big difference in whether or not someone can move to the next level or stay where they are.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's so impactful.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I love hearing people talk about the people who have helped them along the way and the mentors and family members and the support they've had because nobody gets there alone.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I love about this all the time too.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you see Tori wrote a book, you know, you see the highlight reel, but you don't see you'll see it with your own eyes, the struggle that came along with that, and the journey, and the many years of hard work and molding and shaping to be able to do that.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I always want people to share that story and share that kind of part of their lives because you mentioned it too, especially like an entrepreneur as you're trying to build businesses, there's so much insecurity and unknown, and so much risk and emotion and all of that.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and you also talk about though the mind, the mind, the way you think about things.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, one roadblock that's just an opportunity to overcome, you're gonna learn from it and keep going.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's really cool when you get that switch turned the right way, and how you can change the way you think, and and all of a sudden things that used to bug you no longer really bug you anymore.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, problems become small, you know, the the ones that used to be you used to think into the world, my business is going away.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, oh, I just I can fix that.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: No big case.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's just one day.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just another one day.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_00: But that all comes with experiences and learning and and listening to others.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And and so I just think it's again, I love the personal development journey stuff.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: I love that's a again, a really big proponent of books for guides.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: I want people to get that curiosity train started early and that personal development train started rolling early because the quicker you can experience these roadblocks and overcome them, you're just gonna be stronger and stronger and stronger, and how much faster you can build a business or do incredible things, write a book or have an impact on people.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I just love the message you're sharing and and what it's all about.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: And I think, you know, um another big part of it for me with the people who've been in my life that have been positive and influence, that has been tremendous, but also my faith, right?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: Like I just truly believe that all things work for our good.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: So if something doesn't work out, I'm okay with that.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_02: And if something does work out, I'm okay with that too, right?
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I think oftentimes when we put so much stock and emotional capital into something that truly is temporary, right?
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of things that we do, like it's only gonna last for a certain amount of time.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_02: But when you recognize the fleeting nature of almost everything we do and just how permanent and beautiful a belief system and faith can be, that makes a big difference.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: So I I have a ton of security in just the faith piece and how that plays out in the world as well.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_00: Love that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Love that.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and things me and my wife talk about this all the time, actually.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: We're like, you know, we we care more about this than anyone else.
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you don't have to let other people's thoughts and opinions penetrate because really tomorrow they're gonna have thoughts on other things and they'll forget all about what they told you.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so one of those learning things that we work on.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: But Tori, just a couple more questions for you.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: This is this has been such a good conversation.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: I would like to know when people read your book, if nothing else, if they only take one thing away from it, what is that one nugget that you hope they take away from reading your book?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: So That would be, and it's a through line in every chapter, and that's that challenges are fuel.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_02: Whenever you feel like you're getting knocked down, that's really just an opportunity to get up stronger and better.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_02: So regardless of what the experience looks like, it's just an opportunity for growth.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I think if if we can shift our mindset on that when something hard is happening, then we recognize that's an opportunity for me to be better.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_02: Don't get upset about it.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_02: Don't waste three days ruminating.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_02: Just recognize that take some do an after-action review, right?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: That's a very corporate target.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_02: Do an after-action review.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_02: Sit down for maybe 10 or 15 minutes.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've heard that somewhere before.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: So you you just think through, okay, what went well, what didn't go well, what can I learn from it?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_02: And what often happens is because we don't take the time to actually work through what we're feeling and what we're thinking and how it could have gone better, we just stew in it.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: And we can truly use challenges as an opportunity to make us better every time it happens, if we're willing.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes for great stories later on.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: Here's what I overcame, and you're able to share that with others.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think of it that way.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, in like two years, I'm gonna look back and be so thankful I went through this and I'll be able to share it and use it as a platform.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, again, it goes back to the what the way you think, and the mind is so strong, it's incredible.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: But Tori, one last question for you.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I ask everybody this that comes on the podcast, and and sometimes it's hard because it depends on what phase of life you're in, maybe, or or maybe what you've read recently.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm always curious to know what is a book or two that you've read that has meant a lot to you, either personally or professionally, and then what's a book that you like to recommend to other people?
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so you're gonna see like we're having authentic conversations, so you're getting the real right now, Chris.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: I have one book that I read every single day without fail.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: And that's the Bible.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_02: The Bible.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I will tell you the best leadership lessons.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: I just I just picked up on something.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_02: I know I've read this chapter I don't know how many times.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_02: I just picked up on something new that I read like maybe a week ago, and it applies in the business world from the book of Acts, right?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: So that is the book that I read more than any other book.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: And I would highly recommend that anyone read it.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_02: And even if you're a history buff, oh my goodness, the history in that book is phenomenal.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_02: I will tell you, I read a lot of business books and I also read like personal development and growth books.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_02: Some of them are boring, like well, maybe I shouldn't call them boring.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_02: Finance.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: They are what they are, right?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: If you want to take a nap, maybe that's the book.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because you're gonna sleep.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: But I will tell you, right now, I'm reading a book on scaling, the science of scaling by Dr.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_02: Benjamin Hardy.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I I went through like half of that book without putting it down because it's a different perspective on growing a business and using time as a tool.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_02: So I'd heard about the book a few times.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, let me let me read this book.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_02: So if there's anyone out there that that owns a business and they're looking at growing their business, I think that one is definitely worth a read.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I need to add that one to my list because I haven't read that one yet.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm kind of early in my entrepreneur career and learning how to do all kinds of things.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like that one I'd really like.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then the Bible, I actually read it for the first time from front to back last year.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the first time.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I I grew up, my dad was a pastor, so like I've been around it, you know, my whole life, but I've never read the whole thing.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Last year that was my challenge.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the conversations I've I've had from it, and then basically talking with people who do read it every day and how they describe it's really interesting how one when you read it at this point in your life, it's different than when you read it in this point in your life.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: And so it just the lessons are transformative depending on what's going on and how you can take it and read it and how you decipher it.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I found that very fascinating.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I always tell people like I I walked away with like even more curiosity to dig in more because there's so much, I'm like, what did this mean at that time compared to where I'm at today in 2026?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it is a very fascinating read that even if, yeah, if nothing else, if you just want to look at it from a history standpoint and try to figure out what some of this stuff meant and correlates to now, highly recommend because yeah, I was very I was very proud that I accomplished it first off, but I also was very proud that it created even more curiosity than what I had before.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, also, yeah, great recommendation.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, thank you.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: But Tori, this has been such a great conversation.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: I thank you so much for taking the time to do this because conversations like this can be so motivating for people, and who knows what impact it can have on someone, you know, like that that review you got earlier.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Who you would have never thought that that would be from somebody.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um I hope that that continues through this podcast and this conversation.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I know we we've got your book on the website, and we'll get it spotlighted on LinkedIn as well, and we're gonna get this episode posted everywhere so that we can try to help you have as big of an impact as you can.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're always a part of the Books for Guys journey now, and we appreciate it.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, we're honored to spotlight your book.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you, Chris, and I appreciate you having me on.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_02: It has been an absolute pleasure.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, Tori.