Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / There's Something in the Water with Nancy Hulkower

Transcript

There's Something in the Water with Nancy Hulkower · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: This is the almost Famous podcast. Today I have a
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: very special episode. We are still sitting at the Bachelor
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: of mansion. It is holiday season, it is freezing cold,
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: but I have somebody who's gonna warm up my heart
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: because they're from the same hometown as I am. Nancy.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Thank you.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: So we have a backstory here, I'll tell it quickly.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: But I was in Warsaw and d and I was
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: working at a U center right out of college. And
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: my boss at the time was the boss of myself
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: and actually your mom, yes, can can you believe that?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: And my boss at the time said, Ben, you need
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: to get out a Warsaw because if you don't leave
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: Warsaw now, you will never leave Warsaw. And you at
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: least need to leave Warsaw for a period of time.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: You don't have to forever, but at least for now.
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: She goes, my brother has a job in Denver that
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: I want you to go apply for, and I did,
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: and I ended up taking that job, and I moved
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: to Denver, which is my path to becoming the Bachelor.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Because somebody there sign me up for the show.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: And then I ended up here at this mansion walking
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: in as the Bachelor. But your mom was like my coworker, right.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: We did youth camps together, we did after school programs together,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: we did exercise, you know for the kids together.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: You slept at church camp together.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: At church camp together in yeah, in sepperate beds, I know.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: But I was church camp and we did and we
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: were great together. But that was such a big part
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: of my life. And then I find out that you're
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: going on the show. You your brother, and actually your family.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: A lot of your family live on the same lake
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: that I was living on, that I grew up on,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: that the show shot, and that you grew up on.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: So I was very excited to watch you come onto
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: The Golden Bachelor. So I have to get your backstory.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: How did you end up on this show?
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: So my niece Abby, which I also have a picture of,
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: I have to show with these two. Abby's was last year,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: twenty eight and it was Thanksgiving and she said, Aunt Nancy,
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: you know there's a new show, you know, for older
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: people dating, and she goes, you need to apply. It's
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: called The Golden Boulor. And I was like, oh, for
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: heaven's sake, I'm not going to do that. I was like, really,
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: and she goes, let me apply you and I said, wait, wait,
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: you can do it, but let me edit it. So
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: she did, and I thought, you know what, I have
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: nothing to lose by doing it. And I don't know
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: if you know my nephew Luke, my brother Rob's son Luke,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: and who I know, you know.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Who worked for me for a few months here last year.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and he reached out to you and said, do
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: you think she should do it? And he would say,
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: you know, I didn't know how all this worked. Obviously,
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Tlight came on the show, but he said, Ben hasn't
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: really said anything. Ben said, why not do it? Well,
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: I think and now I know why because we all
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: you know, you just can't talk about it anyway. That's
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: what he said. So I thought, you know what, it's true,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: why not do it? And so I they started calling me,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, I was like, it was
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: like winning the lotto, Like you don't think you're going
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: to win, and you're like, oh my gosh, why am
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: I buying a ticket? Okay, I'll buy a two dollars
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: ticket And then all of a sudden, you're like, oh
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: my gosh, I won. I never thought that might happen
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: to me. So I feel like I win the lotto.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I remember when he texted me that I do,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: and I bet I can pull it up right now.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: But I know you couldn't see it.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I can say no, and I can say a lot no.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: I can't because at this point I'm years removed. But
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I get the question a lot from people. Every season.
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Somebody knows somebody who's applying for the show, applying not
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: getting asked to go on, and they ask should they go?
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: And you can give them a drawn out answer on well,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: if they are a little crazy, no, if they're super normal, yes, whatever.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: So what I've ended up over seven years came down
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: to for me, from my experience is why not?
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: Like and I love that, but that made me.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: That was.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: That's what I meant when I heard your answer from Luke. Yeah,
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: my nephew, he goes well, Ben said why not? And
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: I thought he's right, why not? And so I did
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: because I thought that'll never happen. Whatever. And you know,
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: my husband died twelve, you almost thirteen years ago from
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: colon cancer, and you know it's been a long haul
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: and finally the kids are out of well, my youngest
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: sister in college, he's a junior. But I really do
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: want to meet somebody and I just haven't. So I
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: thought why not. And obviously in this season I didn't.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I self eliminated, you know, three quarters or of the
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: way through. There were then seven people left, and I
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: had a pickleball injury. And I had seen that Gary
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: had really had good connection with actually one of the
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: ones he ended up ended up with, and Leslie, Teresa
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: and I think Faith, and it was we all saw it,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. It was outward. I never
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: got a one on one date. It was just unfortunate,
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: but you know, that's the way it happens. And I
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: because they told I had a boot on my leg,
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: and I was like, you know what, I'd wear a
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: boot and cross the desert for somebody who was the guy,
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: but anyway, it wasn't the guy. Yeah, And so I thought,
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: you know, what's probably time for me to go anyway.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Well, it's knowing it is. It's like, this is such
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: a weird experience. There's no prepping you. There's no saying, hey, camera, yeah,
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: you've never had five cameras in your faces and a
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: production crew and all that. So like me prepping anybody,
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: even this last Bachelor Joey, who I've talked to, you know,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, I can't prep you for this. What
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I can tell you to do is be yourself, like,
• 6:19
  Speaker 2: be the best like version of yourself as much as
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: you can. And then the other side of that is
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: the same question, why wouldn't you do this?
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: Like? Which I love and I'm saying thank you because
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I really took that to heart.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like that really good, like just a little
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: push to be like, if you can come up with
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: a good reason why you shouldn't be here, great, don't
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: do it. But if you can't, please show up to
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: La and come to the mansion. Yeah, it's worth the shot.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Why we're from Worseundiana and we're sitting in the Los
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: Angeles and the Bachelor door hills, and I just.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I want to say, then there's got to be something
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: in the water in Indiana.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really good at this. Indiana's really sharing all
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: about it.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: Think got good corn fed roots.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: The suriplicity is attractive to America, And I think I
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: think there's a reason why so you come to the mansion.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: You didn't find love here. Now, we've been talking to
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: some of the women tonight from your season, YEP, and
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: one of the common things that have been spoken is
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: that a lot of these women felt maybe invisible alone,
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: kind of didn't know how to process. You're raising your
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: hand because you obviously felt that too. And they walked
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: into this mansion and they met these women, and all
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: of a sudden, they said, Hey, I'm not alone in
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: this journey to find love. You're raising your hand because
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you obviously agreed, maybe elaborate a little bit on kind
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: of what you were feeling walking into this and then
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: what you found out once you entered into that room
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: on night one with all these women.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: I didn't feel alone the first night. I was excited.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: We you know, I connected with everybody in my life.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: The first night was so fun because we were all nobody,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: We were all fresh, nobody knew what to expect, nobody'd
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: ever been in front of the camera, and this whole
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: situation it was moreover. You know, after a few days
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: you could see and you've been in the situation, you
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: observe I was really nervous, Yeah, and so I really
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: had if I had it to do over again, I
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: would be more. I don't know. I was really I
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: was nervous, so I was quiet, more quiet than normal.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: And so looking back, I think I would have been
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: better TV because people kept saying, well, you know, oh,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: these four people, these four girls are really good TV.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: They're dramatic, they're loud, they open their you know whatever,
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: they do more risque things. And I promised again, I'm
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: my kid's only parent. I have three beautiful kids, and
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: I was like, I won't. I made sure that they
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: knew or asked them, are you guys okay with this?
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: They're like, go, mom, you need to get out more
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: like yeah, And I said, I promise, I will not
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: embarrass you. And I didn't want. I'm not that person,
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: like I'm not at prude, but I'm not going to
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: be out there doing a sexy dance or just on
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: TV with I wouldn't do that. I just wouldn't. So
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: I was I was myself. I was genuine and I'm
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: proud of the way I handled it. But I felt
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: alone in that I'm not as big TV. I'm not
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: that you know, you get people who are get more
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: attention more on airtime, and I was like, oh, I
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: wish I was on air wre airtime. But I'm not dramatic.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: I didn't have any problems with anybody. Do you know
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: what I mean?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: No, I know exactly mean. Yeah, there's actually like stairs
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: that I got really good at napping in because I
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: was so nervous that I would separate, you did from India.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: When I was on the Bachelorette in this house, I
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: remember being so nervous the first two weeks until actually
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: the bachelor at the time said I want you here,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: but you need to step up because you're you're gone.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: As soon as like the moment you can get away
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: from the moment that's going on, You're disappearing. And I
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: was so nervous that I was separating. You know. I
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: also wondered because I remember standing in this mansion on
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: night one and going back to the roots in Indiana
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: and knowing that town and knowing how close the town
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: in it is, and knowing how many people probably knew
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: that I was going on the show, and going I
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: want to show up well for them and for myself,
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: because the repercussions of that are a lot bigger even
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: than the repercussions of me going home when I want, like,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: if I don't show up, well, if I am embarrassed
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: that town, I'm going to feel it.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: Did you feel that, Yes, yes, definitely. I mean I
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: felt that for my family in Indiana, and I felt
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: that for my kids, who you know, again are in
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: college and working. And but I also wanted to do
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: it my way. I didn't want to be anybody else
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: and I wasn't.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, something to be proud of. It is, and uh.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: It is, but I you know, I get, like I
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: just said, I feel like those people are the way
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: I was. I don't get as much attention or you know,
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: there's more people who have fifty thousand followers than you know,
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: all that stuff, and that makes me like, yeah, crazy anyway.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: The thing that I've always said and even to like
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: the current Bachelor's so when the Bachelor calls, who's either
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: getting ready to film their season or just maybe gotten
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: done film in this season? My only advice in them
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: these days is a few things. One, don't let your
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: head get too big or too small. You're gonna get
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: beat up, you're gonna get celebrated. It happens every season.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: You're not alone in any of it. We've all done it,
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: we've all been there. Nobody's gonna not everybody's gonna love you,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and not everybody's gonna hate you. You just gotta stay yourself.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: The other side of this, from my personal experience, was
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: have more fun with it than I did. I wish
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: I would have enjoyed it more. Me too, because I
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: was so on edge the whole time that I never
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: enjoyed it. I can't say I enjoyed it until years later.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: The show wasn't mean to me. The show wasn't bad
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: for me. It was my own just so hard on
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: myself and I was having in my own head the
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: whole time. I never just lightened up and went, my goodness,
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: I'm in Los Angeles at the Bachelor Mansion. I'm here like,
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: how cool is this that I get to do this
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: with so many people and now I get to watch
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: it on national television? Was it weird watching yourself on
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: national television?
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: Totally? Totally. And my friends who had the party, they
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: were like, okay, and here all I was worried about.
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: This is bad. You know they didn't help us with
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: hair and makeup. Yeah, and you know when you're I'm
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: sixty one.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: Kind of need a little help. So I was more
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: worried about which is I know bad how I looked
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: on TV because I thought, you know, everybody looks great
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: when they get their hair blown out or girls do. Yeah,
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: we didn't have that. So we were doing our hair.
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: Thank god. Susan, my friend is a hairdresser. Yeah, so
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: she would help us with our hair. So we had that.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: Then we did our own makeup, and every day I
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: was very cognizant of is my makeup done? Do I
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: have enoughliptick on? Do you think this is the right
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: way to do it? Like I usually have my sweat
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: on or my yoga pants on, go into plates with
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: my hair and a ponytail and a baseball hat.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: So this was like being makeup and camera ready, and
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: every day I was like, whoa what? Like I felt
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: out of my element a little.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Sure. Well, this house, I mean the mansion here, it's
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: like a fraternity and sorority. So when you're on the bachelorette,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: for me, it's a fraternity. People are running wild through
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: this thing. We're lifting weights, were running, we're sleeping, we're napping, reading.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: And then as soon as we'd find out that Caitlin
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: was showing up, We'd all like scatter to get ready
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: for her to show up. It's the same thing with
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: the women when it's on the Bachelor season, right is
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: you know it is it's like a sorority house, but
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: you have very little resource. You have two bathrooms and
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: you know, maybe three to get ready in right and
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: at the time, it's frustrating. I remember being so frustrated, like,
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: get out of the shower, I want to shower, And
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: then five years from now you're like back to be
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: like that was amazing. That was so funny. Do you
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: remember when so and so just jumped in the shower
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: with the other person because there wasn't enough water to it.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: There's great stories that will come from this kind of
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: transitioning a little bit. Your you know, your storyline really
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: kind of had a pivotal point on a date obviously,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: quite honestly and my least favorite dates that the Bachelor,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: Bachelor or Golden Bachelor ever does. It's a wedding date
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: where they have people dress up in wedding dresses and
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: they take pictures and I I've been publicly vary against
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: these dates. I think it adds in a weird dynamic
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: for so many people. But hey, they ended the day
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: when you were there, and that was when you really
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: started to get I would say emotional, like the vulnerability
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: came out. You can't help yourself for maybe holding back.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: So walk me and anybody listening through that experience of
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: you going on that date, not knowing what to expect,
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: and then finding out about the date. Let's start there
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: finding out about the day. When you learn that you're
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: going to be putting a wedding dress. Would you think
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: I didn't know.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: We all knew we were going on a group date
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: that we would have it was a costume or a uniform.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: And they took us to a mansion in Malibu, and
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: not until we got there did they say, Okay, we're
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: going to get out of the van and then we're
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: going to walk, not run. Very specific and I'll tell
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: you why. Up here on the lawn, see that way
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: down there, there's a rack with uniforms or costumes. Everybody
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: pick a costume and then we're going to go to
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: the right and go in and change into your costume
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: and we're going to have a photo shoot with Franco. Somebody.
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: Franco is very popular for the show he's been on
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: many times.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: So and we were like, oh great. I didn't know
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: it was a wedding dress thing then. But when we
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: got up there, some people ran who weren't you know,
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: to get the best costume.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: I was trying to follow the rules whatever, but that
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: doesn't always get you ahead. No, I've learned, so when
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: I got there. Seriously, So, when I got there, you know,
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: everybody's grabbing, and all of a sudden, I'm like, okay, okay,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: wedding dress okay, because the one cute dress was gone
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: quickly blah blah blah, so I just grab one. I
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: don't think about it. It didn't resonate. I'm like, okay,
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: I'll just put on a wedding dress, big deal. I
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: take it in. We all go in, we all get changed,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: and then we come out and we're fluffing our hair
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: up before we meet Franco and Gary and for so
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: somebody walked by me and said, oh my gosh, Nancy,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: you make such a beautiful bride, and it hit me
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: out a left field. I mean truly, it brought back
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: the emotions from my wedding day, which we got married
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: at my parents' house on Winona. There were boats out
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: in the water. Why when we got married, like quiet
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: they knew, you know, we had a big tent, the
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: whole thing. And it was like the truly the best
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: of my life. And then we had a reception at
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Stoneheng and anyway, it was wonderful. But it wasn't the
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: dress so much, but it was the dress represented my
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: twenty three years of marriage, like it was the beginning
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: of We had a great love story and three beautiful kids.
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: And as you all know, everybody knows marriage and relationships
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: are hard and they go up and down. Ours was
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: the same. But we had a great thing and then anyway,
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: so it wasn't just so much the dress, but the
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: drefs represented my whole picture. Yeah, and what made me
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: really happy. And I just said, you know what, Gary,
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I had a really bad, hard day and he goes, well,
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: I could tell that you weren't, you know your yourself.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: And I said, well, you know what, it really evoked
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: and brought brought back a lot of emotion, et cetera.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: And he, you know, we sort of connected a little
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: bit that day because he told me about his wife
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: and he had smelled cinnamon rolls in fort Wayne and
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: he broke down out of the blue. But he said,
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I understand that it can come out of left field
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: because he had the same thing. So anyway, but I
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: got through it, and then I thought, you know what,
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: it was a hard day, but you know what, I
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: made it through it. And I was honest with them.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: I mean, you couldn't help it because he knew. He
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: was like, you're not acting like yourself, but you know
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: what's wrong? And I was like, anyway, Well, I.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: Mean I wonder because for me, I've been learning so
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: much watching The Golden Bachelor. Have you a ton like
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: what you can interview you? Yeah, you know, I've been
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: learning a lot about the wisdom of relationships and about
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: I mean there's been multiple sides. There's been one about
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: the gratefulness of the new marriage. I'm in right, I'm
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: two years married, So there's like appreciatulation the fact that
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: we have this and how precious that is. Learning be
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: thankful for like the thankfulness that I am every morning
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: and every day. And I mean that there's the other
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: side of it is just how do you communicate as
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: you get older in life and you're dating for that
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: second time, Like I've been learning stuff on friendships, what
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: it looked like to walk into a house and be
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: really nice to everybody and really thankful that so many
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: people are here kind of you know, in the same
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: spirit that you are. The wisdom has been really important
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: for me to learn. And there's one side of this
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: that I can't relate with, but I can learn from.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: As you just mentioned that you were kind of having
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: these like just like flashbacks, these pictures of what life
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: was and now what life is. How often does that
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: happen in your life? Like is that new? What that
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: was that the first.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Time with Gary? You've being on the wedding more of.
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: Like remembering the twenty three years of incredible marriage that
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: you had, and like obviously the emotions of that wedding
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: dress brought back something that was like, Hey, something in
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: me is like I'm going back to that day, going
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: back to that season, right. And so for somebody listening,
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: maybe who has lost his spouse, maybe they're new to it,
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Like how often has that happened in the last thirteen years?
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Is that new? Or is that something that you're familiar with.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: It's something I'm familiar with, I think, and I've said
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: it many times in the past that you know you
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: never get through. You know, you don't get over grief,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: but you get through it, and it might be you know,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: I hadn't had that kind of response to you know,
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: I'm being emotional like that, or you know, breaking down
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: where I couldn't.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I was just.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Really upset for years. But I think about it probably
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: almost every day, not in the like I guess a
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: good analogy or not an analogy, but I guess the
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: good remembrances. Now, I used to like think of memories,
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: or I'd say to my kids, Oh, Maggie, honey, Daddy
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: used to always give you two popsicles. Do you remember here? Oh,
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: here's the picture. Because my kids were younger. They were seven, twelve,
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: and fifteen when he died so bad. You know, they
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: were young. I was forty eight. I was young and
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: so and you know, we used to cry about those things.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: But you have to like remember them and keep the
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: memory alive, especially when you have children. But now I
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: can look at it and remember him and say, and
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: now I don't cry anymore. I smile because of those
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: great memories. So it's not as much grief anymore. I
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: think you always carry that with you, But now it's
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: like happy because there were so many good things about it.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: It's uh, I mean, and that's why I said, I'm
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: learning because there is so many good things about it.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: And this show I think is really highlighting the beautiful
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: parts of every season of life and to be really
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: grateful for every season you're in. As I said, We've
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: got to talk to some incredible people tonight who have
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: all mentioned, you know, they're ready to find that second chance.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: So you've now obviously been on the show. Uh, you
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: self eliminated three fourths of the way through. You've gone
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: back home to your friends and your family. I'm more
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: curious personally, what is your friends and families now response
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: watching the show.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: They loved it. They loved it that I did it,
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: They loved the like I feel like I got an
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: A plus, which for me, I know that sounds funny,
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: but you know my mother, yea cracker. I wanted an apel,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: I wanted the gold star sticker. Yeah no, she's great,
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: but I but.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: No, she is. You won a day plus plus. Like
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: how cool does it feel for her to be like,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: I'm proud of.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: You and you know what she is.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: That's all.
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: And I'm really thankful and my faith is a really
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: important thing to me, and I think that it really
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: helped get me through without a doubt the whole time.
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: But now going forward, you know, today I was watching
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: this show, you know, the end of After the Final Rows,
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: and it brought back or it made me sad at
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: the end for myself and also all the women on
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: the Golden Bachelor who didn't have get Gary, and then
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: all the other single people in the world who haven't
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: met their person or who haven't met their second person
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: as with you know, widows and people are divorced, but
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: that we're not supposed to be alone, and it's really
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: like it made me sad, like, oh my gosh, I
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: wanted to be Teresa, Like I wanted to have that.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: But now I still have hope that I will, and
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: I think it's really important for people at home to
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: know that. And I've said it somewhere else that I
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: guess we just still have to keep putting ourselves out there.
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So what does life look like now? I don't know.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I'm a little scared to go back just speak. Well,
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: this has been so great and I've gotten to come
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: back several times to do different things, which has been great,
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: but now having this be the final, you know, I
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: don't know, but I'm hoping that through this has funny. Ben,
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: There's so many things that happened. I'm wearing a retainer
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: right now because three weeks before I came here, I
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: broke off not my front tooth, at a side tooth
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: I had. They had to pull it. I'm like, you are,
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: I'm going on a show. And I was sweating and
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: I was crying, and like all these doors kept opening,
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: like it kept They're like, we'll give you a retainer.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: Nobody will know y'all have a tooth. But because I
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: have to have an implant, but it's one of my
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: front or you know, you could see it if I
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: didn't have an end, it's gone.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: I was like, okay, God kidding me, Like where are
• 27:32
  Speaker 3: we going?
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: And doors kept opening, and Amy, Rob's wife and I
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: were very close, and Amy said, Nancy, I just have
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: this feeling the door keeps opening, keep going. When it closes,
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: you stop.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: It's interesting, you know my only and I've said a
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: public prayer. When I got well. The lady in my
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: office said, Ben, you should go on the show. Can
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: I sign you up? And I said, I'll help you
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: sign me up. So we sat the computer signed and
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: then they called the first time, and so I went
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: back home and I called my family and I was like, hey,
• 28:07
  Speaker 2: they called. I don't know what that means and I'm
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: My only prayer that made since Smith time was God,
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: please close one door if it's not supposed to be right,
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: like if it's my friends, like let them say no.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: If it's my family, let them say no. If it's
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: my work, because I didn't want to leave my job,
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: let them say no. And all of them said, yeah,
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: you should go do it. And so that I was like,
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: I have no excuse. Every door just flew open. And
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: then they said, Ben, will you show up to LA
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: in two weeks and come film come Beyond the Bachelor.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: I had nine days. Yeah, but all these other things
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: kept going wrong. I have problems with my right eye whatever.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: I had to have it. My eye thing done anyway,
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: and I was like, okay, I'm not meant to go.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: Sure enough it got better. Things work and I was
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: like why not, And so I was like, okay, yeah,
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: we're going.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: It's worth it. Yeah, it's good, Nancy. It's really fun
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: to have you out here. It's weird to be in
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles a bachelor. I believe it from Indiana. Seven
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: years after my run on The Bachelor, I am now
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: sitting across from somebody else from Warsaw who has been
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: on a show that is a part of the Bachelor family.
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: It's been so fun to have you guys out here.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: It's been so fun to have you out here. You
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: walking today, and I said, I told one of the
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: girls here, I said, please tell me what Nancy walks in,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: because I want to make sure to go up to
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: her right away and say hello.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: I'll see you again, I hope, and I wish you
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: the best in this next season. I life you, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you for doing this. I mean
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: it is it's like I'm learning a lot from you.
• 29:41
  Speaker 2: But I'm also just like really glad that you did it,
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: because it's been really fun to follow along with your I.
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: Say, yeah, I'm really glad I did it, and I'm
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: very grateful. I'm like, thank you God for the experience,
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: thank you for the open doors. And when the door closes,
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: all stop. But you know what, I'm I just have
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: faith that I was, for whatever reason, meant to do
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: it even in my little you know, all my friends
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: are so much bigger personalities and they have so many
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: more followers and all that. I'm not really into that,
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: Like I don't.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: Maybe I should be, but they have people to do
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: all their stuff and anyway, I'm I'm just not like that.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: I wish I was. Maybe I'll get better at it,
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: but I just I'm trying to just roll with it. Yeah,
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: because I feel like for some reason, I'm Yeah, it's.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: A fun ride. It's a fun ride. You're you're here
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: at the Bachelor Mansion with Sugar Ray, You're here with
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: new kids on the block somewhere, they're all here somewhere.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: Think about your life now, Nancy. You show up to
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: La and all of a sudden you're hanging out at
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: the same house having dinner.
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: Do I get to meet them?
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Sure? You do? You get back out there.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: Though, Okay, insane, you're kidding me.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: You can make it happen, you can.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: You're this is your party.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is my party, I guess.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: So.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's been it's fun and the ride is just beginning.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: I'm so pumped for you. Well, hey, this has been
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: another episode of almost famous podcast, I've Been Ben, you
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: say I've been, Nancy. I've been Nancy and I will
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: be back very soon with more incredible interviews. But until
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: next time, tune in, download and Nancy, thank you, thank
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: you too.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts