Latest / Aired Out / Jayla Dalton - homeless in Vermont

Transcript

Jayla Dalton - homeless in Vermont · Aired Out

0:43
Speaker 1: All right, a whopping zero at my house this morning
1:50
Speaker 1: when he stepped outside. I didn't you know. I don't
1:53
Speaker 1: know about you, but I have heard more complaints about
1:58
Speaker 1: the weather in the last month, just from friends and
2:02
Speaker 1: family about how just how cold it is. But I'll
2:05
Speaker 1: tell you there is hope. We're we're into February now,
2:12
Speaker 1: all right, this is this is game time. There is hope.
2:15
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you how there's hope. If you walk
2:17
Speaker 1: through the doors over it Nelsons Hardware, you're gonna see
2:20
Speaker 1: grass seed, You're going to see mulch, fertilizers, products like Scots,
2:29
Speaker 1: there is hope. And I'll tell you how else there's
2:35
Speaker 1: There's gonna be hope, at least for me on a
2:39
Speaker 1: personal level. When I see that McDonald's has the Shamrock
2:45
Speaker 1: Shake out, then I know there's green, There's there's growth coming,
2:53
Speaker 1: there's newness. The grass is going to be growing. The
2:57
Speaker 1: Shamrock Shake will be slurped, and I will be Okay.
3:03
Speaker 1: If anybody gets a heads up on when McDonald's is
3:06
Speaker 1: going to release the Shamrock Shake, please give me a
3:11
Speaker 1: give me a heads up, would you, because I want
3:13
Speaker 1: to make this public. Actually, maybe I don't because I
3:18
Speaker 1: don't want to have all of you running out to
3:22
Speaker 1: get shamrock shakes and then I get there and they
3:23
Speaker 1: don't have any left. Anyway, we have a fantastic podcast
3:32
Speaker 1: for you this morning. I can't wait to get into
3:35
Speaker 1: it here in a second. First off, before I forget,
3:38
Speaker 1: the governor's press conference is set for twelve noon today.
3:43
Speaker 1: It's only going to be going about thirty minutes. WDEV
3:48
Speaker 1: will be carrying that, of course, as they always do.
3:52
Speaker 1: You thirty two and Hayzin' Boys going to be playing tonight. Boy,
3:56
Speaker 1: we getting close huh Man Girls and Yeah Girls game
4:02
Speaker 1: Hardwood and month Pilier tomorrow. But boy, what a game
4:09
Speaker 1: last night listening to Brent Curtis with People's Academy and
4:13
Speaker 1: lam oyl unbelievable. We have some clouds this morning, we
4:18
Speaker 1: have some sun. The later we get into the day,
4:22
Speaker 1: the more sun, the less clouds. What does that mean.
4:27
Speaker 1: It means that it's also going to be chilly. We're
4:29
Speaker 1: looking at a daytime high of only fifteen today. Tonight
4:33
Speaker 1: we're gonna dip down into the negative negative three with
4:37
Speaker 1: clear skies, and then tomorrow is going to be interesting.
4:43
Speaker 1: We have snow twenty five degrees. They're saying one to
4:47
Speaker 1: three inches. Could that change absolutely? You know that, I
4:52
Speaker 1: know that I'll be watching. I'll be paying attention. But
4:57
Speaker 1: they're also saying some you know, some blowing and drifting
4:59
Speaker 1: snow and the roads aren't going to be great, and
5:03
Speaker 1: you know all that fun twenty three for Thursday night
5:07
Speaker 1: with cloudy skies, and you know, I heard yesterday and
5:12
Speaker 1: I'm not seeing it today, so things may have changed.
5:14
Speaker 1: But I heard that there may even be a little
5:19
Speaker 1: bit of wet weather into the mix tomorrow, so again
5:24
Speaker 1: that may have changed. I'll be watching, I'll be paying attention.
5:28
Speaker 1: Good morning, Lindsey, who was supposed to be on with
5:32
Speaker 1: me yesterday talking about the Lonnie Wade dinner, silent auction
5:38
Speaker 1: and party going on over at the Pub on the fifteenth,
5:44
Speaker 1: And we've been posting about it and we're going to
5:49
Speaker 1: continue to post about it. We're going to hammer this
5:51
Speaker 1: as much as possible. Also going to be hammering the
5:54
Speaker 1: Travis Mercy Memorial Skate Park fundraiser and freezing fun for
5:58
Speaker 1: families coming up last and final weekend of this month. Wow,
6:04
Speaker 1: is there a lot of stuff going on? There? Really is.
6:08
Speaker 1: Birthdays today, we have a few let's see we have
6:15
Speaker 1: Maya Richards on the list today. We have James Pomprey
6:20
Speaker 1: and Dennis Heading. I'm sorry, is it Dennis or Denise?
6:27
Speaker 1: I I think it's I think it's Dennis, Pat Poorrier
6:38
Speaker 1: Al Miller. Let's see Liz Crawford on the birthday list today.
6:44
Speaker 1: Happy birthday everybody. This morning, we are going to dive
6:50
Speaker 1: in headfirst with a subject that we have discussed many
6:55
Speaker 1: times here on aired out, the subject of homelessness. And
7:04
Speaker 1: I have to tell you before I even introduce our guest.
7:08
Speaker 1: I've reached out to several people in our community over
7:15
Speaker 1: the years actually and asked them if they would be
7:20
Speaker 1: willing to share a microphone and share their story. And
7:28
Speaker 1: it has been met with some reluctancy, some apprehension. Understandably,
7:39
Speaker 1: small town everybody knows everybody, well most everybody. It's easier,
7:47
Speaker 1: it's a lot easier to do stuff like that when
7:54
Speaker 1: you're in a big city. But when you're in small
7:58
Speaker 1: town Vermont, having someone who is willing to get on camera,
8:05
Speaker 1: get on the microphone and reveal their story is to
8:10
Speaker 1: me remarkable and comes with great bravery to be so transparent.
8:21
Speaker 1: So I want to begin this morning by asking all
8:26
Speaker 1: of you if you would please post a comment of support,
8:34
Speaker 1: encouragement and thanks for being willing to come on the
8:40
Speaker 1: air and share your story. Jalen Dalton is sitting right
8:48
Speaker 1: here with me this morning. Good morning love. How are you?
8:52
Speaker 1: I got to tell you, and I've already said it.
8:55
Speaker 1: I am, First of all, I'm thrilled to meet you.
8:58
Speaker 1: I just met you like minutes ago, and I have
9:03
Speaker 1: never met I don't think i've ever met you before.
9:05
Speaker 1: I may have somewhere in crossing. But thank you ever
9:12
Speaker 1: so much for coming in here. We we chatted about
9:14
Speaker 1: this for what a couple of weeks now. You reached
9:20
Speaker 1: out to me, yes, and you said, hey, I have
9:26
Speaker 1: a story and I would like to maybe share it.
9:32
Speaker 1: And I said sure, let let obviously, let let's do it.
9:39
Speaker 1: And then it almost kind of seemed like there for
9:44
Speaker 1: a little while in our in our chatting, that you
9:47
Speaker 1: got some cold feet and maybe you weren't really sure.
9:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely that definitely happened.
9:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, But here you are and and here we are together,
10:00
Speaker 1: and I just have to say, I think, like I've
10:04
Speaker 1: already said this moment, I think it's wonderful that you're
10:07
Speaker 1: willing to do this. This brings a face to a
10:15
Speaker 1: local story, which is quite incredible. You are someone who
10:23
Speaker 1: born and raised right here. Yep, okay, tell me tell
10:27
Speaker 1: me about your childhood. Tell me tell me about where
10:32
Speaker 1: you lived. You went to Spalding High School and did.
10:33
Speaker 2: Go to Spalding High School.
10:35
Speaker 3: I lived in Green Acres with my single mom from
10:40
Speaker 3: the time I was about two until I would say,
10:45
Speaker 3: right before freshman year of high school. That might be
10:49
Speaker 3: a little off, but I grew up mainly in Green Acres.
10:54
Speaker 3: Green Acres obviously has a history, always has. There was trauma,
10:58
Speaker 3: there was assault, there was drugs, all things that I
11:02
Speaker 3: saw as a child. The drug thing, though, honestly, was
11:06
Speaker 3: way more under wraps. I didn't know as much about it.
11:09
Speaker 3: But yeah, I went to Websterville Baptist Christian School for
11:15
Speaker 3: most of my childhood until fifth grade when I went
11:18
Speaker 3: to Barry City and like we said, I moved on
11:23
Speaker 3: to go to Spalding.
11:26
Speaker 2: Yeah.
11:26
Speaker 3: I mean my childhood was interesting mainly because I was
11:32
Speaker 3: the only person, it seemed like, in my friends group
11:36
Speaker 3: that didn't have a married parents that owned their house.
11:39
Speaker 3: So my mom was a single mom, always rented, always
11:43
Speaker 3: worked her but off she worked for the state my
11:47
Speaker 3: entire life until I graduated high school, but we still struggled.
11:52
Speaker 3: She did make like a little more than what you
11:56
Speaker 3: should to be able to get food stamps. I do
11:58
Speaker 3: remember people in that program trying to help her to
12:03
Speaker 3: be able to for me to just be getting like
12:06
Speaker 3: cheaper reduced lunches like.
12:07
Speaker 2: I remember that vividly.
12:10
Speaker 3: But yeah, so, I mean, I've grown up in poverty
12:13
Speaker 3: basically my whole life.
12:16
Speaker 2: But she made it work, and we we tried.
12:19
Speaker 3: I did try college for a little while, but that's
12:25
Speaker 3: a whole other sorry as to why I didn't finish.
12:28
Speaker 2: But yeah, so.
12:29
Speaker 3: I was born and raised here, and I had a
12:33
Speaker 3: couple of years in like Connecticut and stuff, but for
12:36
Speaker 3: the most part, it's.
12:37
Speaker 2: Been right here.
12:39
Speaker 1: Was her dad in your life?
12:40
Speaker 3: No, so, I I was technically born in Florida. I
12:45
Speaker 3: moved here when I was two weeks old, but my
12:49
Speaker 3: father wasn't interested in knowing about me. When my mom
12:53
Speaker 3: reached out, he didn't answer her, and she her whole
12:58
Speaker 3: family was in Vermont, so she made the decision to
13:01
Speaker 3: just come back and do it on her own.
13:04
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so so no dad, is mom still with us?
13:10
Speaker 3: Yes, she is she is a veteran, and she is disabled.
13:16
Speaker 3: My senior year of high school, she began having health problems,
13:20
Speaker 3: including mini strokes and heart attacks and things like that.
13:25
Speaker 3: So she she has been on disability and also homeless
13:31
Speaker 3: at one point while she tried to figure all that out.
13:33
Speaker 3: But now she is settled and has help and resources
13:38
Speaker 3: and things.
13:39
Speaker 1: Okay, does she live locally?
13:42
Speaker 2: Yep, she lives right on Washington Street.
13:44
Speaker 1: All right, So you're in touch with her, Yes, you
13:46
Speaker 1: have a pretty good relationship with her.
13:49
Speaker 3: Yes, it can be touch and go. We definitely butt heads.
13:53
Speaker 3: We've both got mental health stuff. But yeah, we we're
13:57
Speaker 3: still very close.
13:58
Speaker 1: I've been saying for a long a long time here
14:03
Speaker 1: on the air. Who really who doesn't have mental health es?
14:08
Speaker 1: You know? All right? So you went, you get through
14:13
Speaker 1: Spaulding High School?
14:14
Speaker 3: Yep?
14:14
Speaker 1: Okay, graduated? Yeah, all right? Then what happened?
14:18
Speaker 3: I then went to college down in South Carolina. I
14:21
Speaker 3: went to a private Baptist Christian college. Honestly, probably best
14:26
Speaker 3: choice I could have made because of their strictness. I
14:28
Speaker 3: would not have succeeded in a secular college. I was
14:34
Speaker 3: there for about a year, I want to say a
14:36
Speaker 3: year and a half. So three semesters before I made
14:39
Speaker 3: this the choice that I had to come home and
14:41
Speaker 3: try schooling up here, mainly because the cost for me
14:46
Speaker 3: to be down there was really tough, and my mom
14:49
Speaker 3: wasn't capable of, like sending the extra money for like
14:52
Speaker 3: extra things, and the plane tickets home for vacations and
14:57
Speaker 3: stuff became difficult, and so it became a choice that
15:01
Speaker 3: I needed to come home and try and do school
15:04
Speaker 3: up here. But at that point I had a relationship
15:08
Speaker 3: with someone who was up here, and that is who
15:12
Speaker 3: ended up being my first husband and the father to
15:14
Speaker 3: my daughters.
15:15
Speaker 1: Okay, how many kids do you have?
15:17
Speaker 2: Three?
15:18
Speaker 1: You have three kids.
15:19
Speaker 2: I have three kids.
15:20
Speaker 3: My son will be seven in March, and my two
15:24
Speaker 3: daughters are nine and eleven.
15:27
Speaker 1: Wow, seven, nine and eleven. Yes, wow, I'm putting together
15:37
Speaker 1: the timeline here. But all right, So your first husband
15:43
Speaker 1: is the.
15:45
Speaker 2: Father of my oldest two daughters.
15:47
Speaker 1: Oldest two daughters. Okay, then you got married again, yes, okay,
15:52
Speaker 1: and that's.
15:53
Speaker 2: The and he is the father to my seven year older.
15:55
Speaker 1: Okay, and you've recently been to Yeah.
16:01
Speaker 3: So we in September, we decided that for the wellbeing
16:06
Speaker 3: of our kids and to have a healthy environment, that
16:09
Speaker 3: we needed to separate because our relationship had just become
16:12
Speaker 3: toxic together and it wasn't working out and we didn't
16:15
Speaker 3: want our kids to grow up like that, so we
16:17
Speaker 3: made the decision to separate. We had been staying with
16:20
Speaker 3: his parents, so obviously that meant that I was the
16:22
Speaker 3: one that needed to leave, which was fine. But he
16:27
Speaker 3: is still very much involved with everything that has to
16:30
Speaker 3: do with the kids. He is involved with my two
16:32
Speaker 3: daughters that are even technically his, but he is very
16:35
Speaker 3: much still there. We share parenting time, he makes sure
16:39
Speaker 3: they get to school and everything.
16:42
Speaker 1: But yeah, so which school? Probably maybe I shouldn't ask. Oh,
16:46
Speaker 1: it's okay, but it's local school. Yes, the kids are
16:50
Speaker 1: in school.
16:50
Speaker 2: Yes, the kids are in school.
16:51
Speaker 3: They are not in a school in the district where
16:54
Speaker 3: we are currently staying though, all right, So transportation is
17:00
Speaker 3: basically on us and then we get reimbursed through the
17:04
Speaker 3: Mechano Vento Foundation for getting them there.
17:09
Speaker 1: But so, do you mind me asking you how old
17:13
Speaker 1: you are?
17:14
Speaker 2: I'm thirty one, all.
17:15
Speaker 1: Right, so thirty one, yes, single mom, three kids, homeless, Yeah, wow,
17:29
Speaker 1: where are you living?
17:31
Speaker 3: So currently we are at the Econo. We had spent
17:35
Speaker 3: a couple of months before we got there with friends
17:39
Speaker 3: and family. But obviously a lot of people have rules
17:43
Speaker 3: about apartments and housing and how long people can stay.
17:46
Speaker 3: So now we are at the Ecano in Mont Piliger.
17:52
Speaker 1: Okay, how long you been there?
17:56
Speaker 3: Since the beginning of December, so we we've spent Chris
18:00
Speaker 3: there and I'm not gonna lie. They did an amazing job.
18:04
Speaker 3: The whole hotel was all decorated and beautiful. They on
18:08
Speaker 3: Christmas Eve they had plates full of cookies for every
18:13
Speaker 3: child that was there. There were twenty three of them
18:16
Speaker 3: in the hotel for Christmas, and every child got their
18:20
Speaker 3: own giant plate of cookies. I'm not gonna lie. There
18:22
Speaker 3: were so many of them. I stole one of my
18:24
Speaker 3: kids plates and some the other two.
18:25
Speaker 1: With them, but it was I would have done the
18:28
Speaker 1: same thing. Yeah, this is this is really something. And
18:38
Speaker 1: you know, I, as I'm listening to this, my knee
18:45
Speaker 1: jerk reaction is circumstantially this is not very complicated. This
18:58
Speaker 1: could happen to any of us. I mean, it's just
19:01
Speaker 1: the way.
19:05
Speaker 3: Things unfolded, and it's a little like there's even a
19:11
Speaker 3: little more context to it. To add, I have a
19:14
Speaker 3: bipolar one diagnosis, so I've had to be medicated and
19:19
Speaker 3: under like like therapies and stuff like that for years.
19:23
Speaker 3: I was diagnosed six months after my youngest was born,
19:26
Speaker 3: after having a pretty severe mental health crisis that was
19:30
Speaker 3: public and around Berry like some people would probably remember.
19:36
Speaker 3: But I had been stable for years since then. But
19:40
Speaker 3: then when things started getting a little complicated and rocky
19:43
Speaker 3: at home, obviously, I struggled mentally and I needed to
19:46
Speaker 3: be stabilized. And my husband or well ex husband, Dylan,
19:52
Speaker 3: was very supportive still and he made sure the kids
19:55
Speaker 3: were taken care of well. I went and got stabilized,
19:58
Speaker 3: but because I needed to be hospitalized to be stabilized,
20:02
Speaker 3: I lost the very good new job that I had
20:05
Speaker 3: just started. I worked for about a month and then
20:11
Speaker 3: I was honest with them about my diagnosis and that
20:14
Speaker 3: I needed to stabilize, which would mean impatient, and they
20:17
Speaker 3: decided that they were gonna let me go. They said
20:20
Speaker 3: that I could no longer work there because I like
20:23
Speaker 3: I wasn't there long enough to qualify.
20:26
Speaker 2: For any of their like temporary stuff.
20:31
Speaker 3: But after I got out of the hospital, I still
20:34
Speaker 3: needed to help and outside stuff, so they have outside programs.
20:40
Speaker 2: But because I had lost the job.
20:42
Speaker 3: I needed to go on state assistants to be able
20:44
Speaker 3: to do these programs to stabilize and then get back
20:47
Speaker 3: on my feet. It didn't seem like it was going
20:50
Speaker 3: to be that hard, but obviously, throughout these programs I
20:55
Speaker 3: was in the middle of like bouncing with friends and
20:57
Speaker 3: family and trying to find stable place to day with
21:00
Speaker 3: my kids, and it just snowballbed. So I ended up
21:05
Speaker 3: reaching the point where I finished my program and could
21:08
Speaker 3: re enter the workforce, and then my car broke.
21:12
Speaker 1: And this is all kind of recent.
21:16
Speaker 3: Yes, so this is all started last September. So I
21:21
Speaker 3: went into the hospital in like the middle of September,
21:25
Speaker 3: and then December, I was starting to be able to
21:29
Speaker 3: go back into the workforce because I had finished my
21:31
Speaker 3: outside programming and had all my therapies set up and
21:34
Speaker 3: scheduled and whatnot. And like I said, my car broke,
21:39
Speaker 3: and usually not a big deal. I was on reach up,
21:42
Speaker 3: so they have like a certain amount of budget that
21:45
Speaker 3: you can put towards your car. Seems like it was
21:47
Speaker 3: going to work out. However, when Stones called me, they
21:53
Speaker 3: did tell me a few things wrong with it, but
21:55
Speaker 3: he was honest with me and said that the things
21:59
Speaker 3: that I was talking about with my radio and my
22:02
Speaker 3: windows were telling him that my car's electrical system was
22:06
Speaker 3: going and he was very knowledgeable about my car, how
22:10
Speaker 3: many miles were on everything, and he was like, I
22:13
Speaker 3: can fix what's wrong with it, but it will not
22:15
Speaker 3: be sustainable. He's like, this car is going to die
22:18
Speaker 3: and that's all. Like, you can put the money into it,
22:22
Speaker 3: but it's not going.
22:22
Speaker 2: To be worth it.
22:24
Speaker 3: Sure, So I reach out to my reach out person
22:27
Speaker 3: and of course she tells me if it's not sustainable,
22:30
Speaker 3: they can't fix it at all. So I have not
22:34
Speaker 3: had a vehicle since December, and acquiring a job without
22:40
Speaker 3: a car is incredibly difficult. I was willing to walk places,
22:47
Speaker 3: I was willing to figure out whatever I could, but
22:51
Speaker 3: it just wasn't. It wasn't working out the way I
22:53
Speaker 3: really needed it to. And a lot of my back
22:56
Speaker 3: history is working with elderly people or like people with
23:01
Speaker 3: mental health stuff like that, literally things that you have
23:03
Speaker 3: clients that need.
23:04
Speaker 2: A car for.
23:05
Speaker 3: So that's my ole back like, that's what I have
23:08
Speaker 3: for work history, and finding a job in a different
23:11
Speaker 3: field is not as easy because then you start in
23:16
Speaker 3: the beginning, so then people are always like you don't
23:18
Speaker 3: want to work, you don't people don't want to work.
23:20
Speaker 2: The problem is I have three kids.
23:23
Speaker 3: Fifteen dollars an hour is not going to make us survive,
23:27
Speaker 3: and I can't justify that when I have work experience
23:33
Speaker 3: on other levels.
23:35
Speaker 2: So I was willing.
23:36
Speaker 3: I did try, but I found a job willing to
23:41
Speaker 3: work with me, a job I very much would be
23:44
Speaker 3: excited and am excited for, in a field that I have
23:47
Speaker 3: a lot of heart for, and they are willing to
23:52
Speaker 3: work with me with the car issues, but it's a
23:57
Speaker 3: six month temporary position based on the fact that I
24:02
Speaker 3: need to get a car within.
24:03
Speaker 2: That six months.
24:06
Speaker 3: So we're working on it and trying to get on
24:09
Speaker 3: our feet, but it all just snowballed very fast right
24:13
Speaker 3: before it got cold, and.
24:17
Speaker 2: Without the ability.
24:19
Speaker 3: To be in the hotel program, I do not know
24:22
Speaker 3: how we would survive. And I also I'm not even
24:27
Speaker 3: aware of how long we are allowed to use that program.
24:33
Speaker 3: While we've been there, we've been doing all the stuff
24:36
Speaker 3: with all the programs for housing and like low income stuff,
24:40
Speaker 3: obviously because nobody can afford three thousand dollars a month,
24:46
Speaker 3: but those waiting lists are also very long. I am
24:50
Speaker 3: on a housing waiting list for vermonthly housing for a
24:53
Speaker 3: few of their apartments and stuff. But we all know
24:57
Speaker 3: that those late wait lists can be astronomically long. So
25:02
Speaker 3: now I'm in the limbo of not knowing how long
25:05
Speaker 3: we are actually allowed to use the hotel program, and
25:09
Speaker 3: then how long it will be until apartments available. So
25:13
Speaker 3: if those don't overlap, I don't know what we're going
25:17
Speaker 3: to do.
25:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, this orchestration of all of this is so critical, yea,
25:24
Speaker 1: And things have to fall into place in a certain order, obviously.
25:29
Speaker 1: I mean, my god, you certainly know that if you're
25:34
Speaker 1: just joining us. Jala Dalton lives locally, has lived here
25:41
Speaker 1: her whole life right here in central Vermont, and with
25:48
Speaker 1: this spawling high school, and has had quite the interesting life,
25:59
Speaker 1: and it has now found herself among the many homeless
26:06
Speaker 1: in central for Mont. Thank god. You with three kids,
26:11
Speaker 1: You've you're in a place where you've got heat. Yep,
26:15
Speaker 1: you said you're in the Ocono Lodge, Yes, right there
26:18
Speaker 1: on Route twelve in Montpillier. And you're you're not sure
26:25
Speaker 1: how much longer you can be there?
26:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not I'm pretty sure that with the cold months,
26:30
Speaker 3: I do not know if we have like a limit,
26:32
Speaker 3: like I feel like with it being cold, there isn't
26:35
Speaker 3: a limit. But once temperatures are above like thirty five degrees,
26:41
Speaker 3: I think it is consistently they do start tacking on,
26:45
Speaker 3: like I feel like it's like ninety days. But I'm
26:50
Speaker 3: not one hundred percent sure.
26:53
Speaker 1: We're getting some some comments here a couple of couple
26:57
Speaker 1: of comments. Jesse's suggesting something that you and I talked
27:03
Speaker 1: about just before we turned our microphones on. I asked
27:06
Speaker 1: you if you've been in touch with Good News Garachu
27:10
Speaker 1: does have a waiting list, but and Dona's asking if
27:14
Speaker 1: you've reached out to Capstone and what other services.
27:17
Speaker 3: Have you I am on reach up, so my worker
27:21
Speaker 3: has done the Good News Garage stuff. It is a
27:25
Speaker 3: very long wait list. It goes on a point system,
27:29
Speaker 3: so if you're not like as needy as someone else,
27:32
Speaker 3: obviously they're going to get the car first, and it
27:34
Speaker 3: can be up to a year usually even just in general,
27:37
Speaker 3: so that already kind of puts me out of my
27:40
Speaker 3: time period. I am kind of in touch with Cabstone.
27:43
Speaker 3: That's an interesting little subject because you're required to work
27:48
Speaker 3: with Cabstone when you're in this program. But I haven't
27:53
Speaker 3: needed as many resources to like fill out applications and
27:56
Speaker 3: make sure they're getting into places as like some other
27:59
Speaker 3: people would need.
28:00
Speaker 2: So I haven't like fully been like.
28:02
Speaker 3: Involved with Capstone, but I am like in touch with them,
28:07
Speaker 3: and like as my stuff goes through, They'll be like
28:10
Speaker 3: there to make sure, like I'm staying up to date
28:12
Speaker 3: on waitlists and things like that. But yes, I have
28:16
Speaker 3: been in touch with them. There is also a church
28:19
Speaker 3: in Mountpilier. I'm not sure who it is because at
28:24
Speaker 3: someone from high school, from my high school who no
28:26
Speaker 3: longer lives in this area, actually reached out to me
28:29
Speaker 3: and told me that she knew someone in Mountpilier that
28:31
Speaker 3: worked with a foodshelf and they've been every Thursday.
28:35
Speaker 2: They drop us off food.
28:37
Speaker 3: And it's literally catered to the fact that we are
28:40
Speaker 3: only allowed a microwave. So in these hotel programs, because
28:46
Speaker 3: of firehouses in the state regulations, the only thing you
28:50
Speaker 3: are allowed to have in your room is a microwave.
28:53
Speaker 3: You can't have a coffee machine, you can't have an
28:56
Speaker 3: air fryer, you can't have a hop plate, you can't
28:58
Speaker 3: have anything.
29:00
Speaker 2: Or you can lose your voucher.
29:02
Speaker 3: And yes, I've had a lot of people talk about
29:05
Speaker 3: sneaking things in things like that. I understand, but with
29:09
Speaker 3: three kids, I'm just not willing to risk it.
29:13
Speaker 2: I'm just not so.
29:15
Speaker 3: Uh, We've been surviving with microwaves. I've got a few
29:19
Speaker 3: people who have helped, like make homemade meals and drop
29:22
Speaker 3: them off and things like that. But yeah, so I
29:26
Speaker 3: have a lot of the I am in touch with
29:28
Speaker 3: a lot of.
29:31
Speaker 2: People.
29:32
Speaker 3: Circle has also been helping me because of a past
29:35
Speaker 3: history of a severe domestic of violence issue.
29:39
Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you about Circle this morning. I'm
29:41
Speaker 1: glad you mentioned that.
29:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, so there are a lot of people in this
29:46
Speaker 3: town that know my story from nine years ago about
29:49
Speaker 3: being attacked with a hatchet, and I mean it's in
29:53
Speaker 3: the it was in the newspapers and stuff. So yeah,
29:57
Speaker 3: I have been I've actually been in touch with Circle
30:00
Speaker 3: for years since that happened. And when all this happened
30:04
Speaker 3: with like my split and then on issues with my
30:07
Speaker 3: girl's father, I again reached out and they have been
30:11
Speaker 3: really helpful.
30:12
Speaker 1: And that was your first husband, So.
30:15
Speaker 3: The hatchet was not my first husband that that was
30:18
Speaker 3: another boyfriend thing, but I won't say who it was.
30:22
Speaker 3: People know who it was, But yeah, that was That
30:27
Speaker 3: was a relationship that happened after me and my first
30:29
Speaker 3: husband split.
30:30
Speaker 2: That was the relationship that.
30:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, So basically I divorced my first husband. I started
30:37
Speaker 3: dating this man who wasn't even from around here, but
30:41
Speaker 3: he was living in Berry And then we were together
30:45
Speaker 3: for like six months in an incredibly abusive relationship, and
30:49
Speaker 3: we split and he he broke into my house and
30:52
Speaker 3: attacked me with a hatchet, and I was too afraid
30:56
Speaker 3: to tell the cops like I should have, who, by
30:58
Speaker 3: the way, had showed up at that house because of
31:00
Speaker 3: self like people calling because they heard. But I eventually
31:07
Speaker 3: I did get courage to reach out for help and
31:10
Speaker 3: with circles help and stuff. But the judicial system is
31:13
Speaker 3: not very helpful. He had already had a domestic violence charge.
31:18
Speaker 3: They put him on what they considered house arrest with
31:21
Speaker 3: an ankle monitor, but he was allowed to work night shifts,
31:25
Speaker 3: and if his ankle monitor died while he was working,
31:28
Speaker 3: he was allowed to do whatever the fuck he wanted.
31:30
Speaker 3: After so, I had a restraining order and we were
31:35
Speaker 3: living right at the bottom of Prospect Street and he
31:38
Speaker 3: was working at Capital Candy.
31:40
Speaker 2: I just couldn't do it.
31:41
Speaker 3: Anymore, and that's part of the reason why me and
31:45
Speaker 3: the husband that I am still with but separated from,
31:49
Speaker 3: ended up moving out of our apartment and in with
31:51
Speaker 3: his parents, and that's where we had been for the
31:55
Speaker 3: last eight years with our fun little kiddos.
32:03
Speaker 1: We have a comment here. Emergency housing for winter ends
32:09
Speaker 1: March thirtieth. Until state laws change, qualified families get eighty
32:14
Speaker 1: days in a hotel each fiscal year outside of the
32:17
Speaker 1: cold months. Okay, so thanks, thanks for that run back up,
32:24
Speaker 1: and I'll be honest with you, I've lost track of
32:33
Speaker 1: that because it's it's changed, and I think there's a
32:37
Speaker 1: lot of misinformation going around.
32:40
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm going to start by putting a couple things
32:45
Speaker 3: that I feel are really important in this situation. One,
32:49
Speaker 3: having been at the hotel this long, there have not
32:54
Speaker 3: been issues, Like there is not this open drug problem
33:00
Speaker 3: or people drunk in the halls, like our problems are
33:05
Speaker 3: tiny footsteps running down the hallway, and a giant great
33:08
Speaker 3: Dane who is the sweetest thing I've ever met, like.
33:12
Speaker 2: The we are.
33:13
Speaker 3: The hallway I'm specifically on, I know is full of
33:16
Speaker 3: families and they don't always like you don't even see
33:21
Speaker 3: them all like some of them are so like I
33:24
Speaker 3: would assume embarrassed that they they don't come out, But
33:28
Speaker 3: it's not like people say it is like how they're trash,
33:32
Speaker 3: like it's trash things like that, Like the common areas
33:35
Speaker 3: are very well kept. Obviously I don't know what someone's
33:39
Speaker 3: bedroom looks like, but like it really like in the
33:44
Speaker 3: the managers, the housekeepers, everyone is wonderful. But then the
33:49
Speaker 3: other flip side of kind of going back a minute
33:53
Speaker 3: to where I had mentioned my diagnosis is with bipolar
33:56
Speaker 3: and like how that affects homeless communities. Without the resources
34:02
Speaker 3: I have, I would not be able to be where
34:05
Speaker 3: I am, and I am still in a really rough situation,
34:10
Speaker 3: like I rely a lot on my mental health team,
34:14
Speaker 3: and I have had my mental health team for years,
34:17
Speaker 3: and there are a lot of people in this community
34:20
Speaker 3: that cannot get that help, and they just closed the
34:24
Speaker 3: psych word in the hospital, like that is where I
34:28
Speaker 3: went when I had my mental breakdown, and when I
34:32
Speaker 3: went to be hospitalized this time, I had to go
34:35
Speaker 3: all the way to Brattleborough, and that meant that hardly
34:40
Speaker 3: anybody could come see me, which.
34:42
Speaker 2: Was really tough.
34:43
Speaker 3: There were things about Brattleborough that were better, but I'm
34:46
Speaker 3: not gonna like, I'm not going to compare Like the
34:48
Speaker 3: fact that the one in Central Vermont is gone is
34:50
Speaker 3: a very big issue. Like, we have a lot of
34:55
Speaker 3: people in this community that need mental health care and
34:58
Speaker 3: they can't get it, and they turn to self medicating,
35:01
Speaker 3: and then they are judged for trying to just numb
35:04
Speaker 3: the pain that they are going through. And I can
35:07
Speaker 3: completely understand that. Because I have a severe alcohol problem,
35:13
Speaker 3: I cannot drink. I've been sober for months now. Obviously,
35:17
Speaker 3: when things got tough in September, I did a little slip,
35:21
Speaker 3: but I know myself that I am not capable of
35:25
Speaker 3: just having one drink.
35:27
Speaker 2: I have passed that I.
35:28
Speaker 3: Have a problem, But there are a lot of people
35:31
Speaker 3: in our community that have had other drug problems, and
35:36
Speaker 3: I will be quite frank The only reason I'm not
35:39
Speaker 3: an addict is because when I graduated from Spalding, I
35:42
Speaker 3: went to college in South Carolina. And if I hadn't
35:47
Speaker 3: and I had stayed here, I very much would be
35:51
Speaker 3: a heroin addict. And I know that because I do
35:54
Speaker 3: not have a strong enough no and if I had
35:57
Speaker 3: friends that were pressuring me and trying that I most
35:59
Speaker 3: definitely would have and at the age I am now,
36:04
Speaker 3: I know well enough to stay away from that because
36:07
Speaker 3: of who I am. But at nineteen, like eighteen, these
36:11
Speaker 3: kids from my school that have gotten addicted, the kids
36:14
Speaker 3: we have lost, I like, we're not We're not bad people.
36:22
Speaker 3: And I can't imagine being in my situation with no
36:29
Speaker 3: mental health care and then being expected to not numb
36:32
Speaker 3: the pain, like I really, I really can't.
36:37
Speaker 2: And I feel like.
36:40
Speaker 3: There is so much more that we need to do
36:43
Speaker 3: as opposed to just judging what we're seeing. And I
36:47
Speaker 3: know we've got a couple people around here that are
36:50
Speaker 3: all over the news all the time, but like it's
36:53
Speaker 3: like five people. Like the amount of people in the
36:57
Speaker 3: homeless community right now that are hiding from the public
37:02
Speaker 3: is astronomical. Like nobody wants to admit that they are
37:07
Speaker 3: struggling in at this point because everyone is like, well,
37:10
Speaker 3: you did it to yourself, And I'm like, well, actually
37:15
Speaker 3: this kind of happened, like we, like I said, me
37:18
Speaker 3: and Dylan had been staying at his parents for like
37:20
Speaker 3: eight years, and part of that probably reason was because
37:24
Speaker 3: we could not afford a space big enough for all
37:27
Speaker 3: of us in this economy like it, so we were
37:32
Speaker 3: already basically struggling with housing before we decided that we
37:38
Speaker 3: needed to live apart. So like, obviously, now we're one
37:43
Speaker 3: income trying to like like we each have our own
37:46
Speaker 3: income and we're trying to survive, and it's it's not enough, Like, uh,
37:52
Speaker 3: it's it's still I went on today and I looked
37:55
Speaker 3: at the apartments that are available in Washington County right now,
37:59
Speaker 3: and even with the new job opportunity I have, which
38:03
Speaker 3: is a very good job opportunity with benefits and pretty
38:07
Speaker 3: decent pay, I still could not afford an apartment.
38:12
Speaker 1: When's that job start?
38:14
Speaker 2: It starts on the tenth, so Monday, and.
38:18
Speaker 1: You're gonna take it. Yeah, but they need you to
38:24
Speaker 1: have a vehicle to keep that job.
38:28
Speaker 3: Yes, so there are a few programs with helping you
38:34
Speaker 3: get to and from work and stuff. But the job
38:39
Speaker 3: like has clients and does require transportation, so they are
38:42
Speaker 3: willing to work with me for six months while I
38:45
Speaker 3: figure out the car stuff.
38:47
Speaker 2: So obviously, my first thing.
38:52
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to be saving for when I have
38:53
Speaker 3: this job, which mind you, is going to take me
38:55
Speaker 3: off of all my state assistants, is gonna have to
38:58
Speaker 3: be saving for a car and that is gonna be astronomical,
39:02
Speaker 3: because even used cars are crazy. I've reached out to
39:06
Speaker 3: Eric's Otto because he's been amazing for us and our
39:08
Speaker 3: family for years. I mean, he gave me like the
39:11
Speaker 3: ballpark price of what some of his sheeper vehicles are
39:13
Speaker 3: and things.
39:14
Speaker 2: Like that, So I've got an idea.
39:16
Speaker 3: But it's still like seven thousand to ten thousand dollars
39:19
Speaker 3: for a used car, so I have six months to
39:23
Speaker 3: save for that. But on the same side, if I
39:28
Speaker 3: do end up with an apartment, those also come with
39:30
Speaker 3: costs of down payments.
39:32
Speaker 2: And we don't have anything.
39:35
Speaker 3: For an apartment, Like we have a storage unit from
39:38
Speaker 3: our old apartment and it's got a couch and a
39:40
Speaker 3: table in it. Like, it's not like I would literally
39:43
Speaker 3: have to refurnish an entire apartment for all of us,
39:45
Speaker 3: which is fine, but that's obviously gonna cost money. So
39:50
Speaker 3: within six months, I'm gonna have to save for like
39:53
Speaker 3: a seven to ten thousand dollars car and then also
39:56
Speaker 3: try and save for the down payment for apartment and
40:01
Speaker 3: also what we would need to furnish an apartment. So
40:06
Speaker 3: it doesn't seem like six months is too hard for that,
40:09
Speaker 3: but it it's definitely stressing me out a little. Like
40:14
Speaker 3: I I definitely am like, Okay, how are we gonna
40:17
Speaker 3: balance all of this? How are we gonna make sure
40:20
Speaker 3: we get the car in time? And I am not
40:22
Speaker 3: in a position to be able to like go out
40:24
Speaker 3: and buy a nice car with a car payment.
40:27
Speaker 2: That is, I'm not in that.
40:30
Speaker 3: Position, and partially just because I've never had good like
40:37
Speaker 3: experiences with that, Like the car that just broke I'm
40:40
Speaker 3: still paying on and now it's junk. So great, but
40:49
Speaker 3: I would I would rather get the money together for
40:51
Speaker 3: a use one and just downpay it and then not
40:53
Speaker 3: have to worry about a monthly car payment obviously because
40:56
Speaker 3: they're expensive, like four to six hundred dollars.
41:01
Speaker 1: Boy you are you're unpacking a lot of stuff.
41:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, I told you I could go on tangents, so
41:09
Speaker 3: that probably has happened a lot.
41:12
Speaker 1: Get the suggestion here for the restore.
41:16
Speaker 3: Yes, the restore is definitely going to be a place
41:19
Speaker 3: that we check out once we're like ready.
41:23
Speaker 2: To start furnishing the house.
41:25
Speaker 3: And I know there's a program that makes beds for kids.
41:30
Speaker 3: That's whole motto is like no kids should sleep on
41:32
Speaker 3: the floor, which I have also been told to look into.
41:37
Speaker 2: So I do have that information too for when.
41:41
Speaker 1: So you and I are going to have a conversation
41:46
Speaker 1: off the air about that, and I just scratch that
41:56
Speaker 1: off the list, okay, okay, and it's a long list
42:01
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah. Jay lit Dalton is our guest this morning.
42:09
Speaker 1: You said you're thirty one, Yes, homeless with three kids.
42:14
Speaker 1: Thankfully not living in your car. Yeah, which several half Yep,
42:26
Speaker 1: there are parents who have been living in tense they're
42:31
Speaker 1: intense and in their cars with their kids. Thankfully you
42:35
Speaker 1: were able to get into the Econo Lodge in Montpelier.
42:40
Speaker 2: Yeah.
42:42
Speaker 1: Wow.
42:43
Speaker 3: And I should add that we are in Montpilier because
42:48
Speaker 3: there isn't any room in Barry so that and there
42:54
Speaker 3: are certain hotels specific for families. So I don't think
43:00
Speaker 3: that's widely known. I don't think that people realize that
43:04
Speaker 3: the hotels being used for these programs, that some of
43:06
Speaker 3: them are only for families or like predominantly used for families.
43:13
Speaker 2: And all of the ones in.
43:15
Speaker 3: The Barry area were filled when we looked out for stuff,
43:19
Speaker 3: which is why we are in Montpelier, because we had
43:24
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, we had wanted to try to
43:26
Speaker 3: be in Barry, because Barry has more places that I
43:30
Speaker 3: could have walked to for a job that I'm like
43:32
Speaker 3: more aware of.
43:32
Speaker 2: I know it sounds dumb.
43:33
Speaker 3: I'm just not as aware in Montpelier because I've spent
43:36
Speaker 3: all my time in Barry. But also it would have
43:39
Speaker 3: been a closer commute for my kids to get to
43:42
Speaker 3: their school. So that has been incredibly fun with Dylan's help.
43:50
Speaker 3: He actually has a truck right now he's using, but
43:53
Speaker 3: it's on its last legs and he has been like
43:59
Speaker 3: still obviously picking up the kids getting to school and stuff.
44:02
Speaker 3: And we do, like I said, have the reimbursement, but.
44:04
Speaker 2: He's got a truck.
44:06
Speaker 3: It's and it wasn't his choice, it was it was
44:09
Speaker 3: what was available like from his family to use.
44:13
Speaker 2: And it is a gas hog.
44:15
Speaker 3: It's like sixty dollars to fill the tank and thirty
44:19
Speaker 3: dollars gets us one, maybe.
44:21
Speaker 2: Two days of transportation for the kids.
44:24
Speaker 3: So we do get the reimbursement, but it doesn't actually
44:28
Speaker 3: cover everything, and it it's been tough, like it hasn't
44:33
Speaker 3: always been there when we were supposed to have it,
44:35
Speaker 3: and we have both been like scrounging money together to
44:38
Speaker 3: get like to make sure we have enough gas and everything.
44:43
Speaker 3: And he had also been in the position of finding
44:45
Speaker 3: a new job recently too, so we were both juggling
44:49
Speaker 3: everything to make sure everyone was all set and things
44:52
Speaker 3: like that.
44:54
Speaker 1: Linda just dropped a comment here and I'm gonna I'm
44:57
Speaker 1: gonna read it because the this is a conversation that
45:01
Speaker 1: I'd like to have with you off the air about
45:07
Speaker 1: sleep in Heavenly Peace. This organization has been in touch
45:14
Speaker 1: with me recently and we are working our schedules to
45:23
Speaker 1: try to arrange a time to have them on the
45:26
Speaker 1: air with me. This is a remarkable organization who just
45:33
Speaker 1: advocates very hard that no kid should be sleeping on floor.
45:40
Speaker 1: They are wonderful, wonderful people, and I can't wait to
45:44
Speaker 1: have them on the air with me. They're coming on soon.
45:48
Speaker 1: But she also and they have a fantastic Facebook page
45:51
Speaker 1: as well, sleep in Heavenly Peace. Linda is also saying
45:56
Speaker 1: there's on Facebook, there's some great pages free, you know,
46:01
Speaker 1: pages for for free, for free stuff, which is it's
46:06
Speaker 1: good to kind of have that in the wheelhouse, yes,
46:14
Speaker 1: but we have a lot of stuff that comes before
46:19
Speaker 1: that that that that you need to contend with here
46:26
Speaker 1: as if you haven't been enough. I want to ask
46:30
Speaker 1: you about the kids. Yeah you said seven, nine and eleven. Yes, ouch,
46:40
Speaker 1: that's a lot, man.
46:44
Speaker 2: They're great.
46:45
Speaker 1: One boy, two girls. Yes, how are they doing.
46:51
Speaker 2: Okay?
46:51
Speaker 3: So honestly, they do agree that having separate, like a
46:58
Speaker 3: living separate, has made up very a lot more calm
47:02
Speaker 3: and way more able to talk to. Like way, it's
47:05
Speaker 3: a lot. They like it a lot more they are.
47:09
Speaker 3: They do feel like it's a lot more stable and
47:12
Speaker 3: less like chaotic. My girls have a little more of
47:18
Speaker 3: a struggle in general because of the history with their father.
47:24
Speaker 3: It's not unknown knowledge that ever since my daughter was
47:29
Speaker 3: three months old, he just up and disappears and decides
47:34
Speaker 3: when he wants to be a dad and come back
47:36
Speaker 3: and whatever.
47:37
Speaker 2: It's it's been a nightmare.
47:39
Speaker 3: I will admit that when everything hit the fan in September,
47:45
Speaker 3: my daughters had decided that they wanted to try and
47:49
Speaker 3: stay with their dad.
47:51
Speaker 2: He had once been once again.
47:53
Speaker 3: Been gone for a year in Texas for no reason,
47:58
Speaker 3: and he came back. They tried to stay with him,
48:02
Speaker 3: and it was about maybe two months and they came
48:07
Speaker 3: home and it was bad. They we were at a
48:12
Speaker 3: Christmas party and they were getting super depressed and anxious
48:18
Speaker 3: and crying and acting out and begging and pleading for
48:22
Speaker 3: me to not bring them back and mine. There was
48:26
Speaker 3: already issues, I mean in general, but we had always
48:30
Speaker 3: had the choice that if the girls had an opinion
48:33
Speaker 3: on who they stayed with, we were going to honor it.
48:36
Speaker 3: So that's why we tried it, and it did. Obviously
48:39
Speaker 3: it didn't go well, and it's been an issue ever since.
48:44
Speaker 3: With that situation. He refuses to have any kind of
48:49
Speaker 3: visitation that doesn't look the way he wants it to.
48:52
Speaker 3: I just with the microphone, he like. So they're they're
48:56
Speaker 3: struggling with that aspect. But because me and Dylan were
49:05
Speaker 3: married about seven years, which means we were together about
49:08
Speaker 3: eight and a half, and he has been the solid
49:11
Speaker 3: father figure to my girls for that entire time. Their
49:15
Speaker 3: father has never had consistent visits, never showed any kind
49:20
Speaker 3: of support with their needs or anything.
49:24
Speaker 2: Hardly pay childs board, you know what goes.
49:27
Speaker 3: But Dylan has very much been involved and very strong
49:31
Speaker 3: for them.
49:31
Speaker 1: And.
49:33
Speaker 3: They are slightly more well adjusted because of the trauma
49:38
Speaker 3: with their father because they've seen that.
49:42
Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna lie.
49:45
Speaker 3: I had stuck it out longer in that relationship, even
49:48
Speaker 3: though we could feel that it wasn't right, mainly because
49:53
Speaker 3: I had this fear of trying to coparent again, and
49:56
Speaker 3: I was like, I can't take the father from these girls.
50:00
Speaker 3: And I really didn't know how we were going to
50:01
Speaker 3: handle it. And I'm telling you, if I had known
50:05
Speaker 3: that we would handle it this well, I would we.
50:09
Speaker 2: I would have.
50:09
Speaker 3: Tried way long ago if I had known that he
50:13
Speaker 3: would still choose to be a very big part of
50:17
Speaker 3: my girls' lives even without having any sort of real responsibility.
50:23
Speaker 3: I feel like we could have even started like a
50:26
Speaker 3: better life for them earlier on. But we both had fears,
50:29
Speaker 3: and obviously I had the experience of co parenting sucking
50:34
Speaker 3: so bad that I was afraid, but they because we
50:41
Speaker 3: are able to respect each other. We still do things
50:43
Speaker 3: together as a family, and we did Halloween together, multiple
50:46
Speaker 3: Halloween things together. We figured out like Christmas, Thanksgiving stuff, Birthdays.
50:53
Speaker 2: All sorts of stuff.
50:54
Speaker 3: We still do things as a family and we get
50:57
Speaker 3: along and it's way less turmoil and it's nice and
51:04
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna lie.
51:05
Speaker 2: My kids are enjoying the crap out of the room
51:08
Speaker 2: we before. I'm living with his parents. We only had
51:12
Speaker 2: a shower. We're just fine, there's nothing wrong with that.
51:15
Speaker 2: But now my.
51:16
Speaker 3: Kids have experienced by having a bathtub is like and
51:19
Speaker 3: getting them out of that bathtub is a freaking nightmare. Yes, So, like,
51:27
Speaker 3: in general, I don't think they realize necessarily how hard
51:32
Speaker 3: of a situation that we're in.
51:35
Speaker 2: Because like mentally.
51:37
Speaker 3: And stably, and everyone in their lives that cares about
51:41
Speaker 3: them is still very much involved and loves them, and
51:44
Speaker 3: like Dylan's parents are still very helpful and make sure
51:47
Speaker 3: everything is all set up for them, and like, I
51:51
Speaker 3: feel like they could it could have been way more
51:54
Speaker 3: traumatic than it was.
51:56
Speaker 1: Becky's asking, you're receiving child support?
52:00
Speaker 3: Ah ha, I I have been on child support with
52:06
Speaker 3: my kids for since my baby Lily was a baby
52:10
Speaker 3: six months will probably he tends to start jobs and
52:16
Speaker 3: leave them and does not consistently pay. This is probably
52:20
Speaker 3: more information than you need to share. But I got
52:23
Speaker 3: my state, like the taxes stuff that you pay, you
52:25
Speaker 3: set forth for child support and it averaged last year
52:29
Speaker 3: fifty dollars a kid a month.
52:31
Speaker 2: So I'm living the life. Yeah.
52:36
Speaker 3: Uh, he's on child support. They try and enforce it.
52:39
Speaker 3: It's never consistent. It's a pain in the butt. Also,
52:43
Speaker 3: I will also just put out there that when you
52:46
Speaker 3: are on reach up, if you have an open case
52:49
Speaker 3: with child support, the state actually collects that money because
52:53
Speaker 3: the parents should be paying for the child. So they
52:57
Speaker 3: take the child support as like a reimbursement for the
53:00
Speaker 3: state that since they're paying like for stuff. But and
53:07
Speaker 3: they magically go after the father way harder when you're
53:11
Speaker 3: on state assistance, and that's the case than they do
53:14
Speaker 3: when you're the one that's supposed to be collecting it.
53:18
Speaker 3: But I have also many times forgiven his arrears just
53:21
Speaker 3: to try and get him to have a relationship with
53:24
Speaker 3: the girls or be around, and it might go well
53:27
Speaker 3: for a couple of months, but he he doesn't stick around.
53:31
Speaker 3: He's moved to Texas for over a year three times
53:35
Speaker 3: since my daughter, like my nine year old was like three.
53:39
Speaker 1: So I mean, you are you are trying very hard
53:46
Speaker 1: to overcome a lot of obstacles here in your life.
53:55
Speaker 1: Question from Susan saying, I'd like to know about the
54:00
Speaker 1: higher power that you're connecting to for inner strengths.
54:05
Speaker 3: So that's a that's a loaded question. I grew up
54:11
Speaker 3: in the Christian community Websterville Faith Community Church and Bible
54:16
Speaker 3: Baptists are a very big part of my childhood. So
54:20
Speaker 3: I do still consider myself a Christian.
54:24
Speaker 2: I do still believe stuff like that.
54:30
Speaker 3: However, I also have very different beliefs on some things
54:36
Speaker 3: that the Christian community beliefs. Like my personal belief is
54:44
Speaker 3: that Jesus would have cared about the homeless and the
54:48
Speaker 3: poor and the LGBTQ community, Like I feel like Jesus
54:53
Speaker 3: would have been more concerned about helping people as opposed.
54:57
Speaker 2: To judging them.
54:58
Speaker 3: And I think that churches have fallen too much into
55:04
Speaker 3: trying to judge what someone else is doing as opposed
55:07
Speaker 3: to actually following what the Bible was teaching us.
55:12
Speaker 2: So I am I am.
55:14
Speaker 3: Part of the LGBTQ community and a Christian.
55:17
Speaker 2: Wrap your brain around to that.
55:20
Speaker 3: And these the churches that I did mention, I'm like
55:23
Speaker 3: websit of the Bible Baptists and faith community.
55:26
Speaker 2: They have all been part of the community helping us.
55:31
Speaker 3: Currently, Bible Baptist has a wonderful program with some of
55:36
Speaker 3: their kids for Christmas, and my family was part of that.
55:39
Speaker 3: My son is very involved in their children's ministry, loves
55:45
Speaker 3: it and was part of their Christmas Cantata. I have
55:49
Speaker 3: known most of the people in those churches since I
55:53
Speaker 3: was a child or a teenager too, so like Josh
55:56
Speaker 3: and Beth and then Trey and Robin, they've all been amazed.
56:00
Speaker 1: A lot of people watching and listening this morning. Please
56:05
Speaker 1: if you would give Jalen Dalton some support here, give
56:11
Speaker 1: her a thumbs up, give her a heart like this one,
56:16
Speaker 1: share this one. Help this story get out to as
56:22
Speaker 1: many ears as possible here in Vermont and frankly beyond.
56:27
Speaker 1: Got a comment here? Are you on all of the
56:29
Speaker 1: housing lists?
56:31
Speaker 3: Okay, so I am Vermont State Housing. I have applied
56:35
Speaker 3: to all of that stuff. I'm on a couple of
56:39
Speaker 3: their lists. Only a few of their complexes or whatever
56:44
Speaker 3: they're called, actually have three bedrooms, so we're I'm aiming
56:49
Speaker 3: for a three bedroom, mainly because my eleven year old
56:52
Speaker 3: really needs her own space as she's growing in short
56:57
Speaker 3: a woman obviously, of course, so I am on all
57:00
Speaker 3: of those. I'm not gonna lie. I have not applied
57:05
Speaker 3: to Burry Housing yet, mainly because my kiddo has some
57:15
Speaker 3: like things with some of the people that are in
57:17
Speaker 3: Barry City School, so she's.
57:18
Speaker 2: Nervous about transferring there.
57:21
Speaker 3: I do intend to like try and imply there too,
57:24
Speaker 3: but I haven't done that yet. In Downstreet Housing, I'm
57:28
Speaker 3: on their like vacancy list. I do need to fill
57:31
Speaker 3: out their apartment like application, but you can't do it
57:36
Speaker 3: online and it has to be printed.
57:38
Speaker 2: Whole other barrier that we haven't talked about.
57:42
Speaker 3: Even printing things from the library costs money, and applications
57:47
Speaker 3: like that are not like they're long, so like there
57:51
Speaker 3: are lots of pages and that they cost by a page.
57:55
Speaker 3: So I've had to like rely on a couple of
57:57
Speaker 3: friends printing things for me and bringing them to me. Yes,
58:01
Speaker 3: some of the applications can be mailed to you, but
58:06
Speaker 3: if you're homeless, where's that mail going for me? My
58:10
Speaker 3: mom's So I'm lucky, but I mean other people not
58:15
Speaker 3: so lucky.
58:17
Speaker 2: So there are other barriers that.
58:18
Speaker 3: People probably haven't realized that I've had to figure things
58:22
Speaker 3: out for.
58:23
Speaker 2: But yes, I am on a lot of the lists.
58:26
Speaker 3: If there is more than Vermont ce Housing, Berry Housing
58:30
Speaker 3: and down Stream Housing.
58:32
Speaker 2: I am not on those.
58:34
Speaker 3: I haven't heard of those, but those are those are
58:36
Speaker 3: the three main ones that I have focused on.
58:38
Speaker 1: Well, Linda and I both are happy, happy to help
58:43
Speaker 1: in that department. She just commented, here, you got two
58:51
Speaker 1: people that can help you right there, just one of
58:54
Speaker 1: many things. But also going to comment here, have you
58:58
Speaker 1: ever thought about l n A nursing programs? And we
59:02
Speaker 1: have a lady here, a mom who says I was
59:06
Speaker 1: homeless with my two and three year old sons for
59:09
Speaker 1: two years. I'm now an RN and my boys are
59:14
Speaker 1: thirteen and fourteen years old. Stay strong, lady, it gets better.
59:20
Speaker 3: I have actually looked into the l and A programming,
59:23
Speaker 3: specifically at Woodridge. My only thing is I have ADHD,
59:30
Speaker 3: so studying and schooling can be difficult. And I also
59:39
Speaker 3: I don't mind elderly care. I have done a lot
59:42
Speaker 3: of elderly care, but my heart is really with like
59:45
Speaker 3: adolescents and mental health stuff. So I focus a lot
59:51
Speaker 3: of my time on being like a behavioral interventionist.
59:54
Speaker 1: If you thought about Washington County mental health you.
59:58
Speaker 2: Have Okay, that is where I go the job.
1:00:01
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, all right, I mean that's not everybody.
1:00:08
Speaker 1: Let's just be honest. Okay, not everybody is tripping over
1:00:13
Speaker 1: themselves getting in line to be behavioral interventionists, especially with teenagers.
1:00:21
Speaker 1: I mean that's.
1:00:21
Speaker 3: Really actually something else done this job before, so I
1:00:26
Speaker 3: had this same position when I was in that incredibly
1:00:31
Speaker 3: abusive relationship and I only left because.
1:00:35
Speaker 2: Of being hospitalized after the attack.
1:00:38
Speaker 3: So I have wanted for a long time to go
1:00:41
Speaker 3: back to this and now it's like the doors have
1:00:46
Speaker 3: opened and I have the ability to and I am
1:00:48
Speaker 3: very excited for it. It's not easy and definitely takes
1:00:53
Speaker 3: a lot of like self care and awareness, and you
1:00:58
Speaker 3: have to have your own mental health in check. But
1:01:00
Speaker 3: it's a really rewarding job and one of the biggest
1:01:04
Speaker 3: rewards that I didn't expect.
1:01:08
Speaker 2: It's been about eight.
1:01:09
Speaker 3: Years since I worked there, and I still have contact
1:01:12
Speaker 3: with some of the clients from past, like when they
1:01:14
Speaker 3: reach out after they've aged out and wanted connection, and
1:01:20
Speaker 3: being able to see where some of these kiddos have
1:01:22
Speaker 3: ended up, not even all of them were from Washcow.
1:01:25
Speaker 3: I've worked in other programs too, but being able to
1:01:28
Speaker 3: see like where some of the kiddos have gone in
1:01:31
Speaker 3: their lives and honestly, some of them didn't all make it,
1:01:35
Speaker 3: and that's really tough, but seeing how the impact of
1:01:40
Speaker 3: what those programs do can affect someone's outcome.
1:01:45
Speaker 2: Really made me want to try again.
1:01:49
Speaker 3: Like it's rough when you're in the trenches and you
1:01:51
Speaker 3: feel like you're not getting anywhere and you're beating your
1:01:53
Speaker 3: head against the wall. But like when you stick through it,
1:01:56
Speaker 3: like these kids, really they can go so far. It's
1:02:02
Speaker 3: it's astronomical. And I've always had a heart for like
1:02:08
Speaker 3: the teenage community and like a lot of the kids
1:02:10
Speaker 3: in foster care and stuff like that, because let's be real,
1:02:13
Speaker 3: a lot of the kids in that like pool of
1:02:16
Speaker 3: adolescents with mental health or foster care.
1:02:18
Speaker 1: Yep. So yeah, are you Are you feeling optimistic? Are
1:02:27
Speaker 1: you feeling positive? We get some warmer months coming in
1:02:30
Speaker 1: front of us.
1:02:32
Speaker 3: Yes, and no, so, like I am optimistic like that
1:02:35
Speaker 3: things are starting to work out, like things are getting
1:02:37
Speaker 3: under our feet. Mental health wise, I'm doing great. My
1:02:42
Speaker 3: kids are excelling in school.
1:02:44
Speaker 1: You're still sober?
1:02:45
Speaker 3: Yes, okay, oll, it's okay. I smoke weed, but I'm
1:02:49
Speaker 3: not drinking. I don't do hard drugs. I don't none
1:02:51
Speaker 3: of that. But yeah, so, and like I said earlier,
1:02:57
Speaker 3: I'm not even quite sure when I quit drinking again,
1:02:59
Speaker 3: because I just was like I need to get rid
1:03:01
Speaker 3: of this. I had help medically, and had meds to
1:03:06
Speaker 3: help me quit, which not everyone has, so we'll throw
1:03:08
Speaker 3: that out there too. But yeah, so I was able
1:03:13
Speaker 3: to quit that, get back on my feet, get my
1:03:15
Speaker 3: mental health sorted, get my kids all set up. Now
1:03:19
Speaker 3: I have figured out, like the ride situation for work temporarily.
1:03:27
Speaker 1: What about what about Highgate in monthlier housing? We have
1:03:30
Speaker 1: someone asking, oh.
1:03:31
Speaker 3: Yes, so I haven't applied to Highgate yet, And I'm
1:03:33
Speaker 3: not gonna lie about the reason why. I know a
1:03:39
Speaker 3: lot of the drug trade up there because of being
1:03:42
Speaker 3: in an IOP program years ago for my alcohol and
1:03:47
Speaker 3: I cannot be that close to it.
1:03:52
Speaker 2: I just can't. And I don't think anyone living there
1:03:55
Speaker 2: is wrong. I don't think.
1:03:57
Speaker 3: I know there are wonderful people that are up there.
1:03:59
Speaker 3: I know there working really hard on that situation. I
1:04:02
Speaker 3: just know that I am not currently strong enough to
1:04:06
Speaker 3: be in an area that I know where it.
1:04:08
Speaker 1: Is, well at least should know that. I mean, that's good.
1:04:14
Speaker 3: It's funny though, because I can totally go to a
1:04:17
Speaker 3: bar and dance and enjoy myself sober with a little mocktail.
1:04:20
Speaker 3: But if I was ever in a dark place and
1:04:24
Speaker 3: knew that that was available.
1:04:26
Speaker 2: That close, I just it's just not something.
1:04:29
Speaker 3: I mean it's honestly the same way I view owning
1:04:33
Speaker 3: a gun for me because I am not, like, I've
1:04:36
Speaker 3: never been dangerous, but I do not think that me
1:04:40
Speaker 3: in a bad mental state should be around one. Obviously
1:04:43
Speaker 3: I can't legally get one because of my diagnosis. But
1:04:46
Speaker 3: that has also meant that when I did live with
1:04:48
Speaker 3: my husband that they were locked away for safety and
1:04:51
Speaker 3: things because of what can happen in a bad episode.
1:04:56
Speaker 3: And like I said, I haven't had one of those
1:04:58
Speaker 3: in years, but when I first had, when I was
1:05:00
Speaker 3: in psychosis and very much not aware of Yeah, like
1:05:05
Speaker 3: it was not it's great, but yeah, So I haven't
1:05:10
Speaker 3: applied to HIGATE because of that.
1:05:12
Speaker 2: But the other one I hadn't heard of.
1:05:17
Speaker 1: I would love to. I'd be honored to have you
1:05:22
Speaker 1: back in here in another couple of months for an
1:05:26
Speaker 1: update if we can. You're willing to do that, yea.
1:05:32
Speaker 2: So hope I'm getting a little further.
1:05:34
Speaker 1: You got you got a remarkable story, Jailah. Really, we
1:05:41
Speaker 1: have a lot of comments this morning. I encourage you
1:05:47
Speaker 1: to go back and and give them a read, and
1:05:52
Speaker 1: post some replies, and stay in touch with the folks
1:06:01
Speaker 1: that are watching, the folks that are listening. I call
1:06:07
Speaker 1: them my aired out family, and they're they're just most
1:06:12
Speaker 1: of them are great people who have some amazing insight
1:06:20
Speaker 1: and huge hearts, and I encourage you to engage in
1:06:24
Speaker 1: conversation with them and reply to these comments.
1:06:28
Speaker 3: There has been a great support through this community. I
1:06:32
Speaker 3: have honestly been on some of the very Facebook pages
1:06:34
Speaker 3: and honestly a few times I'm looking for help with
1:06:37
Speaker 3: some things, and the outpour of love has been phenomenal.
1:06:41
Speaker 3: And by request of some of the people on that site,
1:06:46
Speaker 3: there is a go fund me to try and help
1:06:48
Speaker 3: me get the car in time, but I haven't I
1:06:52
Speaker 3: only posted it once because I'm not like I don't
1:06:55
Speaker 3: want it to just seem sure. And I know a
1:06:57
Speaker 3: lot of people have a hard time just giving money,
1:06:59
Speaker 3: so that's fine. But I do want to say that
1:07:03
Speaker 3: when I have reached out in this community for help,
1:07:06
Speaker 3: I have received a lot more outpour of love than Hay,
1:07:11
Speaker 3: which is why I felt like I could do this.
1:07:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, let's get a date on the calendar for you
1:07:24
Speaker 1: to get back in here. I guarantee you it'll be
1:07:29
Speaker 1: a little warmer and we'll go from there. Thank you,
1:07:35
Speaker 1: thank you, Please if you can folks, give Jayla a
1:07:39
Speaker 1: thumbs up, give her some give her some love, throw
1:07:43
Speaker 1: heart up right now for this lady, single mom, three kids, homeless,
1:07:51
Speaker 1: trying to get her life back on track. And I've
1:07:56
Speaker 1: met a new friend today. It's you. I didn't know
1:07:59
Speaker 1: you before for today. It's funny because you five minutes
1:08:03
Speaker 1: before our MIC's went on.
1:08:05
Speaker 3: And I have grown up listening to you because Froggy
1:08:08
Speaker 3: was a big deal before. So like watching you come
1:08:11
Speaker 3: out and make the podcast like afterwards has been awesome.
1:08:15
Speaker 2: So I've been following you for a while.
1:08:16
Speaker 1: Wow, thank you ever so much for being brave and
1:08:20
Speaker 1: coming in here and sharing your story so transparently, a
1:08:24
Speaker 1: story that many of us need to hear. We need
1:08:27
Speaker 1: to we need to hear this stuff. Yeah, and you
1:08:31
Speaker 1: did it, and I'm I'm proud of you. Thank you
1:08:34
Speaker 1: for and I'm blessed and honored to have you in
1:08:37
Speaker 1: here this morning.
1:08:39
Speaker 2: Thank you for having me.
1:08:39
Speaker 1: Thanks Jayla,