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03 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll · Adventure Books Library

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  Chapter three, A caucus race and a long Tale. They were indeed a
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  queer looking party that assembled on the bank, the birds with draggled feathers,
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  the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping, wet,
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  cross and uncomfortable. The first question, of course, was how to
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  get dry again. They had a consultation about this, and after a few
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  minutes it seemed quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them,
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  as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had quite
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  a long argue with the lory, who at last turned sulky and would only
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  say, I am older than you and must know better. And this Alice
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  would not allow, without knowing how old it was, And as the lory
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  positively refused to tell its age, there was no more to be said.
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  At last, the mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority among
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  them, called out, sit down, all of you and listen to me.
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  I'll soon make you dry enough. They all sat down at once in
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  a large ring, with the mouse in the middle. Alice kept her eyes
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  anxiously thick on it, for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold
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  if she did not get dry. Very soon ahem, said the mouse,
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  with an important air. Are you already? This is the driest thing I
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  know? Silence all round, if you please. William the conqueror, whose
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  cause was favored by the Pope, was soon submitted to by the English,
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  who wanted leaders and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation, and conquest
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  Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria. Ugh said the lory
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  with a shiver. I beg your pardon, said the mouse, frowning,
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  but very politely. Did you speak not, I said the lorry hastily.
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  I thought you did, said the mouse. I proceed Edwin and Morcar,
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  the earls of Mercia and Northumbria declared for him, and even stigand the patriotic
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  Archbishop of Canterbury found it advisable. Found what, said the duck? Found
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  it? The mouse replied, rather crossly. Of course you know what it
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  means. I know what it means well enough. When I find a thing,
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  said the duck, it's generally a frog or a worm. The question
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  is what did the archbishop find? The mouse did not notice this question,
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  but hurriedly went on. Found it advisable to go with Edgar, etheling to
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  meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct was at first moderate,
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  but the insolence of his normans. How are you getting on now, my
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  dear, it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke. As wet as
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  ever, said Alice in a melancholy tone. It doesn't seem to dry me
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  at all in that case, said the Dodo, solemnly, rising to its
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  fear eat. I move that the meeting adjourned for the immediate adoption of more
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  energetic remedies. Speak English, said the eaglet. I don't know the meaning
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  of half those long words, and what's more, I don't believe you do
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  either, And the eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile. Some
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  of the other birds tittered audibly. What I was going to say, said
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  the Dodo, in an offended tone, was that the best thing is to
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  get us dry would be a caucus race. What is a caucus race?
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  Said Alice, not that she wanted much to know, but that Dodo had
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  paused as if it thought that somebody ought to speak, and no one else
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  seemed inclined to say anything. Why, said the Dodo. The best way
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  to explain it is to do it, and you might like to try the
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  thing yourself some winter day. I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.
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  First it marked out a race course in a sort of circle. The
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  exact shape doesn't matter, it said, And then all the party were placed
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  along the course. Here and there there was no one, two, three,
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  and away. But they began running when they liked and left off when
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  they liked, so that it was not easy to know when the race was
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  over. However, when they had been running half an hour or so and
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  were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called out the race is over,
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  and they all crowded round it, panting and asking, but who has won?
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  This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal of thought,
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  and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its forehead,
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  the position in which you usually see Shakespeare in the pictures of him, while
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  the rest waited in silence. At last, the Dodo said, everybody has
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  won, and all must have prizes. But who is to give the prizes?
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  Quite a chorus of voices asked why she, of course, said the
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  Dodo, pointing to Alice with one finger, and the whole party at once
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  crowded round her, calling out in a confused way, prizes, prizes.
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  Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair, she put her
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  hand in her pocket and pulled out a box of comfits, luckily the salt
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  water had not got into it, and handed them round as prizes. There
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  was exactly one a piece all round. But she should but she must have
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  a prize herself, you know, said the mouse. Of course, the
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  Dodo replied, very gravely. What else have you got in your pocket?
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  He went on, turning to Alice, Only a thimble, said Alice.
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  Sadly, hand it over here, said the Dodo. Then they all crowded
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  around her once more, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying,
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  we beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble. And when it had finished this
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  short speech, they all cheered. Alice thought the whole thing very absurd,
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  but they all looked so grave that she did not dare to laugh, And
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  as she could not think of anything to say, she simply bowed and took
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  the thimble, looking as solemn as she could. The next thing was to
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  eat the comfits. This caused some noise and confusion, as the large birds
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  complained that they could not taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had
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  to be petted on the back. However, it was over at last,
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  and they sat down again in a ring and begged the mouse to tell them
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  something more. You promised to tell me your history, you know, said
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  Alice. And why it is you hate C and D? She added in
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  a whisper, half afraid that it would be a fed again. Mine is
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  a long and a sad tale, said the mouse, turning to Alice and
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  sighing. It is a long tail, certainly, said Alice, looking down
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  with wonder at the mouse's tail. But why do you call it sad?
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  And she kept on puzzling about it while the mouse was speaking, so that
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  her idea of the tale was something like this. Here the words are written
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  on the page one, two, four on a line, and the lines
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  are offset, so they snake down the page in a wavy fashion. And
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  here's what they say. Fury said to a mouse that he met in the
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  house. Let us both go to law. I will prosecute you. Come,
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  I'll take no denial. We must have a trial. For really this
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  morning, I've nothing to do, said the mouse to the cur Such a
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  trial. Dear sir, with no jury or judge would be wasting our breath.
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  I'll be judge. I'll be jury, said cunning old fury. I'll
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  try the whole cause and condemn you to death. And there's where the snaky
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  text ends, continuing. You are not attending, said the mouse to Alice
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  severely. What are you thinking of? I beg your pardon, said Alice,
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  very humbly. You had got to the fifth bend I think I had
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  not, cried the mouse, sharply and very angrily. A knot, said
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  Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and looking anxiously about her.
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  Oh do let me help to undo it. I shall do nothing of the
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  sort, said the mouse, getting up and walking away. You insult me
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  by talking such nonsense. I didn't mean it, pleaded poor Alice. But
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  you're so easily offended, you know. The mouse only growled in reply.
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  Please come back and finish your story, Alice called after it, and the
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  all joined in chorus. Yes, please do. But the mouse only shook
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  its head impatiently and walked a little quicker. What a pity it wouldn't stay,
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  sighed the lory as soon as it was quite out of sight, and
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  an old crab took the opportunity of saying to her daughter, Ah, my
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  dear, let this be a lesson to you, never to lose your temper
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  hold your tongue, ma, said the young crab a little snappishly. You're
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  enough to try the patience of an oyster. Oh I wish I had our
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  Dinah here, I know I do, said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in
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  particular. She'd soon fetch it back. And who is Dinah? If I
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  might venture to ask the questions? Said the lory, Alice replied eagerly,
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  for she was always ready to talk about her pet. Dinah's our cat,
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  And she's such a capital one for catching mice, you can't think. And
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  oh, I wish you could see her after the birds. Why she'll eat
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  a little bird as soon as look at it. This speech caused a remarkable
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  sensation among the party. Some of the birds hurried off at once. One
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  old magpie began wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, I really must be
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  getting home. The night air doesn't suit my throat. And the canary called
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  out in a trembling voice to its children, come away, my DearS,
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  it's high time you were all in bed. On various pretexts, they all
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  moved off, and Alice was soon left alone. Oh I wish I hadn't
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  mentioned Dinah, she said to herself in a melancholy tone. Nobody seems to
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  like her down here, and I'm sure she's the best cat in the world.
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  Oh my dear Dinah, I wonder if I shall ever see you anymore.
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  And here poor Alice began to cry again, for she felt very lonely
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  and low spirited. In a little while, however, she again heard a
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  little pattering of footsteps in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half
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  hoping that the mouse had changed his mind and was coming back to finish his
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  story. This is the end of chapter three.