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When a highly sensitive man loses his sense of meaning (INFJ / INFP) · Lightbearer's Library

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, dear soul.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: If you are a highly sensitive man who finds himself in a dark place right now where you don't see the light, uh, it could be perhaps because you're going through a divorce.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know many of you have shared that here.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you've lost your job or you find yourself in retirement.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: These big shifts that happen in life sometimes cause us to lose our way, to feel like we're in a dark place.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that's where I've found myself over the last number of years, and where my highly sensitive husband, he is also in that, in that same place.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I've found light.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it reached a point where it I needed to to to do something to make a shift, make a change.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that was when I decided to start this channel, Light Bears Library.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's been it's been a journey of sharing my journal entries.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's where it started.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so how I got myself, how I found little bits of light, and why how I share them here is through this this creation process, this this bringing something out of me and putting it into the world.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that there's as highly sensitive people, we we are already tuned into creativity, to beauty, to the unseen around us, to to something that's not quite tangible.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this we my husband and I have been thinking about beauty and art recently, and this quote by Oscar Wilde is like all art is pretty meaningless, quite you no, sorry, not meaningless, no, all art is quite useless, and that's what I want to talk about.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is that so we can be these creative beings, you know, and we I I think all all all humans are, but we seem to be as whatever it is about us, whether it's the intuitive feelers of the the Myersburg system, or it could be our our high sensitivity, our being an empath, I don't know.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: But it just means that we feel these these urges to create things, whether it's music or writing or or capturing beautiful scenery and photography or painting.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um I've heard from many of you, and it's all of these, all of these things and more.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: And but I feel I feel like when we so the uselessness, the the the uselessness can feel like the world around us sees sees that as as you useless, right?
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's all about utility.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and so when we feel like that's almost the most meaningful thing that we can offer the world is that that creativity and that that whatever that is for us, it can make us feel us feel useless by by you know, yeah, if if art is meaningless, not meaningless.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I keep saying that.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: I what I mean is that that's the meaning, but when art is seen as, when creativity in the way that we want to bring it forth, you know, yes, there can be creativity of of like invention, you know, in technology and so on, that's that's lauded.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But when it's you know music these days, it's just the devaluation of art, is it's useless.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so thereby we can feel useless.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that we need meaning, we thirst for meaning.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when our life feels meaninglessness, that can be where we find ourselves in the most dark place, and so I think meaning is the little light that we uh we we hover towards like moths, right?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: We we we feed on on meaning, and we need that to be alive, to feel whole.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And that's something we need to take seriously.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: But when we're in that dark, dark, dark place, in depression, in existential alienation, in like having an existential crisis, a dark night of this all the things that we've talked about, it can it it can feel so hard to do the creative thing because it takes so much energy when we're in that place of deep depression, to do anything else other than just hold on to life, to hold on to finding a reason to keep living, and so there's not a lot of energy.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, creativity requires energy.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So when there's not that not enough of energy, it's it's kind of like um a spiral that that kind of pulls us downward.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: So but my own experience has been that it's the creativity that leads us out of the dark, that that pulls us towards meaning again.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think the world just just that's that's not what the world values.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's seen as as useless.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: So it you know, I think that we that like because I've had people ask me, how did you get out of that pain?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: How did you find like I feel like I'm I'm seeing the light?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's still lots of darkness around me, but it's like that's how this channel and through through transmuting it and creating this has been my path forward.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: So what I've been thinking about is I've heard from many of you who have started writing or are writing poetry or or books or whatever it is, and men who are doing music and painting and and photography.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I I wonder if you would be interested in a men's creative sanctuary.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I've hosted a I'm I'm hosting, and it starts next week, a men's sanctuary where there's the same six men, seven, six or seven, I think seven, the same seven men, or six, I can't remember, who meet together every week for four weeks.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And it was the first one in August was such a beautiful um container of space to just, you know, we talked a lot about Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we could put put this in here of like, you know, we talked about the bottom of the pyramid, you know, needing like all of our basics and our security needs.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And but it's like, I feel like in order to live, we we highly sensitive people, we need that creativity.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost got to be a bigger part of our own, our own how we live.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I was thinking that perhaps we should have a men's creative sanctuary.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: So the same six or seven men meeting for four weeks, who want to go on a creative journey, who are who are ready, you know.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: It it if you're in the in the depths of the depression and the despair, you might not be ready to to to create yet.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I understand that.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I I feel for you so deeply, because my husband's not there.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: He's he's struggling, you know, to just like write.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And and when he does, he feels better, you know.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: But it it's it's it's it's so hard.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're there, I feel you.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um and but if you're ready to and you've started, perhaps it could be a wonderful space to have um a place to cheer one another on, to come up with you know, thoughts and ideas about how to, you know, distribute what it is that you want to do, or to just um have accountability.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes when we're in in this dark place, it it doesn't feel like anyone cares at the beginning, you know, and to just have others who will support and cheer you on and hold you accountable we, you know in the throughout the weeks, and to just see where where it takes us.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so if you'd be interested in that, I would love to to hold space to host that.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, having been uh a creative YouTube YouTuber basically for a decade, it's something that I find deeply deeply meaningful and a valuable journey to go on.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that's something that I've been thinking about a lot over the last month because it's come up a lot in the men's groups.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, so the next men's group actually is next week, so or tomorrow, sorry, tomorrow, um, Wednesday.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: We're having it earlier so that the UK Europeans can attend.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: But anyone who is available in North America is also welcome.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: There's a few spots left.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um and yeah, I've just been so enjoying getting to know the people, the men who have showed up.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's been really, really wonderful um just talking about anything that's present in life.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we can, yeah, with the men's sanctuary, the creative men's sanctuary, it can be more more focused on on having a topic or a an overarching theme for for the group.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but it can still bring up all sorts of things that we're struggling with, you know, um, in the context of that that creativity.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: So even if we're you know going through a dark time and it can be a way to to shine the light.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: So because I think that that's the antidote.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I think that creativity of some shape or form, and for me, this videos like video journals was the creative form.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, it just it worked.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And so um, yeah, I feel like I can help help be a guide on that on that path.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, to because there's lots of roadblocks that come up, right?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, you know, no one cares, or it's just you know, all the things.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I've been through it uh many times.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I would love to offer that.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're interested, let me know.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I we can get that up and running um in September.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to do that.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, I if you are already creating, I would love to hear from you about what it is that you are creating or would like to create or envision for your life, you know.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and sometimes it's not picking up an old thing that we used to do, it's picking up a new one that that has a fresh freshness and newness um that we embark on a journey with.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And um yeah, anyway, I hope you are doing well as well as can be.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish you so many blessings.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Signing off for today, XOXO Kate.