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Stickler Rule Following in Life and Games · I Hate Talking

• 0:29
  I Hate Talking: Welcome to episode 39 of I Hate Talking, and today we're going to jump straight to the word or phrase of the episode, and today's word or phrase of the episode is stickler, stickler, and this word actually seems to only have use.
• 0:49
  I Hate Talking: Historically in the English language, so it does not have any Greek or Latin roots or French, but exclusively comes from Old English and then Middle English to the modern day usage within English stickler.
• 1:04
  I Hate Talking: So, the Old English starts out with the word scythian, and that means to set in order, and then that eventually evolves into the word stitle.
• 1:17
  I Hate Talking: And then there was also a word stickle.
• 1:20
  I Hate Talking: And the word stitle means to control, and the word stickle means to be an umpire, and those two words in the Middle English, stickle and stitle were combined into the single word stickler, which literally means umpire, and the dictionary definition of the modern word stickler.
• 1:45
  I Hate Talking: is a person who insists on a certain quality or type of behavior from our favorite Oxford language dictionary, so they may be rigid or meticulous when it comes to quality or a type of behavior like following rules, and this actually has seen an increase in usage since 2019.
• 2:08
  I Hate Talking: From the Merriam Webster's, it also is relevant to note that one of the examples given in the example sentence is that a person can be a stickler for the rules.
• 2:23
  I Hate Talking: With the definition being one who insists on exactness or completeness in the observance of something.
• 2:30
  I Hate Talking: So that is our word or phrase of the episode, stickler.
• 2:35
  I Hate Talking: And now on to the topic of this episode.
• 2:39
  I Hate Talking: It may not be the one that you think we are going to talk about.
• 2:43
  I Hate Talking: So, we did not do any research on Synesthesia, which I think we actually were mispronouncing cause I think we're adding an extra syllable in there.
• 2:52
  I Hate Talking: I think it's just synthesia.
• 2:54
  I Hate Talking: So this episode is not going to be about synthesia.
• 2:57
  I Hate Talking: No.
• 2:59
  I Hate Talking: Nor is it necessarily going to be about sourdough.
• 3:05
  I Hate Talking: Nope, again.
• 3:08
  I Hate Talking: And I think our listeners will have to continue waiting for the long-awaited keto episode.
• 3:16
  I Hate Talking: Keep waiting.
• 3:18
  I Hate Talking: So in this episode we are going to be talking about rules as they relate to board games and perhaps rules as they relate to life in general and maybe what personality types or traits are related to rule following or.
• 3:37
  I Hate Talking: Not necessarily rule breaking, but rather just a Which ones hate to follow the rules?
• 3:45
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, or a lack of concern with following the rules.
• 3:48
  I Hate Talking: So it's not like outright.
• 3:50
  I Hate Talking: Rule breaking, it's just that rules don't really matter.
• 3:54
  I Hate Talking: Or the matter of fun is more important.
• 4:00
  I Hate Talking: The outcome is more important than the way you get there.
• 4:03
  I Hate Talking: In games or in life.
• 4:05
  I Hate Talking: Oh, I'd say both.
• 4:08
  I Hate Talking: Or in the game of life.
• 4:09
  I Hate Talking: So, as we said at the start, the Propensity to either follow rules or break rules or just discount rules in general and that the fact that someone that is a constant and consistent rule follower.
• 4:28
  I Hate Talking: I meant as a negative thing, but that in some ways the compulsion.
• 4:35
  I Hate Talking: And rigidity to follow rules can actually be a good thing.
• 4:40
  I Hate Talking: I think it does have negative connotations and That would be what is meant when somebody uses that term to describe someone.
• 4:51
  I Hate Talking: However, some of the specific personality traits I think have more of a positive connotation in my mind that are again associated with this particular.
• 5:01
  I Hate Talking: Personality trait word that we've been talking about.
• 5:05
  I Hate Talking: I feel like I could be successful in careers, but Do you think that it's positive in your mind because you have these traits?
• 5:15
  I Hate Talking: If you think that I am biased towards.
• 5:19
  I Hate Talking: Positivity for these traits, because I think I do have many of them, the good and the bad.
• 5:27
  I Hate Talking: Not getting too deep into it.
• 5:29
  I Hate Talking: Probably our number one disagreement as a couple.
• 5:33
  I Hate Talking: Is -- your -- like compulsiveness to be rigid and meticulous.
• 5:41
  I Hate Talking: Yeah So you're, yes, exactly.
• 5:46
  I Hate Talking: That is what I'm trying to say.
• 5:48
  I Hate Talking: So, So you said it may make you successful in a career.
• 5:52
  I Hate Talking: Does it make you successful playing Monopoly?
• 5:54
  I Hate Talking: Maybe.
• 5:57
  I Hate Talking: I've, I don't know if I've ever actually finished a game of Monopoly in my life.
• 6:02
  I Hate Talking: Like, the real Monopoly, I played Speed Monopoly.
• 6:05
  I Hate Talking: Speed Monopoly as a game or just a different set of rules to make it go faster?
• 6:12
  I Hate Talking: No, there's like.
• 6:13
  I Hate Talking: A game, right, where you can choose these roles, I don't know.
• 6:19
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I think there is maybe a version.
• 6:21
  I Hate Talking: I don't know if it's part of the official rules and Part of the reason that I may not know is because either myself.
• 6:28
  I Hate Talking: As part of my own scruples would not allow people to play that style or I was maybe not even allowed to play that style.
• 6:38
  I Hate Talking: But I think there is a style where you must buy every property that you land on, and that makes the game go faster, whereas in like a standard procedure.
• 6:48
  I Hate Talking: That you have the option to buy the property or not.
• 6:53
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I just get so bored with it.
• 6:55
  I Hate Talking: I know some people love Monopoly, and if you do, that's great for you.
• 6:59
  I Hate Talking: I get extremely bored with the game.
• 7:05
  I Hate Talking: Very quickly.
• 7:07
  I Hate Talking: And so that's why, yeah, the speed one, I do that.
• 7:10
  I Hate Talking: That's fine.
• 7:10
  I Hate Talking: I guess if it's fast moving like that, like, you're constantly buying, constantly moving, that's OK.
• 7:16
  I Hate Talking: But the fact that you're waiting.
• 7:18
  I Hate Talking: For people To make decisions and count out their money, and then like, do the math in their head is just so slow for me that I quickly lose interest.
• 7:32
  I Hate Talking: I suppose so.
• 7:34
  I Hate Talking: I truly remember only playing the style of Monopoly where it is sort of the long form.
• 7:41
  I Hate Talking: The only particular house rule that I think.
• 7:46
  I Hate Talking: That we had That I think most people even maybe consider as the rule and maybe it's even a Mandela effect is collecting the money from free parking.
• 7:58
  I Hate Talking: Oh, you're not supposed to do that.
• 8:00
  I Hate Talking: Now that is not part of the official rules.
• 8:03
  I Hate Talking: I believe that.
• 8:04
  I Hate Talking: If you have some sort of payment that must be made, so like you pay $50 or uh the luxury tax square or whatever the case may be that that money is supposed to go into the bank, not into the middle and that free parking is just that, it's just a free square and does not do anything in the game.
• 8:28
  I Hate Talking: The depositing of the extra taxes and money into the center is a house rule and The related collection of that money and landing on free parking is a house rule as well.
• 8:40
  I Hate Talking: And so, but why would you have that role then?
• 8:45
  I Hate Talking: Because you never want to do house rules.
• 8:49
  I Hate Talking: So why would you be OK with that one?
• 8:51
  I Hate Talking: So I think it may be because that was as I was learning the game, the only way of playing the game that I was taught, so it was in some ways inherited.
• 9:05
  I Hate Talking: Rule And that if there is a tried and true rule.
• 9:12
  I Hate Talking: It is added to the official game set of rules that is as some.
• 9:19
  I Hate Talking: Best of time that it's not just like you added a rule.
• 9:23
  I Hate Talking: It's brand new on the spot.
• 9:25
  I Hate Talking: You made it up 5 minutes ago and you don't know how it's actually going to affect the gameplay.
• 9:30
  I Hate Talking: That this house rule has been.
• 9:33
  I Hate Talking: Tested over the course of many different people playing the game and actually adds a nuance to the game that makes it more enjoyable.
• 9:42
  I Hate Talking: That and therefore that rule becomes allowed as long as all parties playing the game.
• 9:49
  I Hate Talking: Agree to the House rule or The actual fact that it is a house rule that if you're at that person's house and they play this way, then you play by the house rules.
• 10:00
  I Hate Talking: Mhm.
• 10:01
  I Hate Talking: So how do you feel in general about house rules then?
• 10:05
  I Hate Talking: So I think that they need to still be Standardized, so.
• 10:12
  I Hate Talking: Even if there is a special house rule, that it is the house rule throughout, it's not like the house rules changed from day to day.
• 10:24
  I Hate Talking: As well as, like I said, having that aspect of of time that it is a legitimate rule that does not have any outsized impact on the play of the game.
• 10:37
  I Hate Talking: And again that all parties are aware of the house rules.
• 10:42
  I Hate Talking: Ahead of partaking in the game.
• 10:46
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I mean, I'd agree with that.
• 10:49
  I Hate Talking: I'm super sketch, like, no, no, no, no, no.
• 10:52
  I Hate Talking: When you're like halfway through a game and somebody suddenly calls house rules or changes something, that's not cool, unless it's the first time it's happened.
• 11:01
  I Hate Talking: If no one's landed on free parking space, the entire game.
• 11:06
  I Hate Talking: And then they land on it the first time halfway through the game, and then they collect the money, that's fine with me.
• 11:12
  I Hate Talking: But if someone's landed on it before, and they did not get to collect the money, that's not cool.
• 11:18
  I Hate Talking: But, in general, I love house rules.
• 11:22
  I Hate Talking: I think it's awesome because every grouping is different, and you gotta do what's best.
• 11:28
  I Hate Talking: I don't care what the rulebook says, if it's boring, or if there's too many people, not enough people, not enough time, whatnot.
• 11:39
  I Hate Talking: I feel like the point of playing a game is for fun.
• 11:42
  I Hate Talking: And if you're going to be so stick with the roles that it's no longer fun.
• 11:47
  I Hate Talking: Then why are we doing it?
• 11:49
  I Hate Talking: Precisely, and one of the reasons that this topic came up at all was we were discussing the rules of Uno and whether the stacking of draw cards was a house rule or not.
• 12:04
  I Hate Talking: Yes, and you wanted to look it up and I was like, you're going to lose these kids.
• 12:08
  I Hate Talking: We were playing a game after dinner.
• 12:12
  I Hate Talking: And the subject came up.
• 12:14
  I Hate Talking: And so you wanted to go get the phone, we didn't have our phones with us.
• 12:18
  I Hate Talking: You wanted to go get the phone and look it up.
• 12:20
  I Hate Talking: And I was like, We have a bunch of little kids sitting here waiting to play, and we're gonna lose it, or maybe I'm just projecting because Nothing kills my enjoyment of a game more than when you stop everything to look up a girl and you read for 1015 minutes, all the details, all the pages.
• 12:41
  I Hate Talking: By then I'm like, I'm done.
• 12:42
  I Hate Talking: I just want to go to sleep cause I'm sitting here falling asleep at the table.
• 12:46
  I Hate Talking: Perhaps the reason that it does retain my attention is that I also have a competitive nature, and I will want to know all the rules inside and out, house rules or not, to gain a competitive edge to win the game.
• 13:06
  I Hate Talking: Right, I'm not competitive.
• 13:09
  I Hate Talking: I don't mind losing actually.
• 13:12
  I Hate Talking: Often I feel bad if I win.
• 13:15
  I Hate Talking: So, I do not share that with you.
• 13:18
  I Hate Talking: I make sure I like winning and that's cool, I guess, but I play for the fun, not for the outcome.
• 13:25
  I Hate Talking: And I think that is where we differ on games and where we differ maybe in life sometimes too.
• 13:33
  I Hate Talking: Perhaps, and it is even bothering me that I have not been able to describe whether seconding cards is a house rule or not in you know, and you probably don't even really care.
• 13:44
  I Hate Talking: No, I don't care at all.
• 13:46
  I Hate Talking: I've had no desire.
• 13:47
  I Hate Talking: I'm surprised you haven't looked it up though.
• 13:49
  I Hate Talking: I did look it up in preparation for this recording session.
• 13:52
  I Hate Talking: What did it say?
• 13:54
  I Hate Talking: So the official rules of Uno is that you do not stack cards.
• 13:59
  I Hate Talking: So if someone plays a draw 4, which there actually are rules related to that because a draw 4 cards should only be played if that is the only available play, you can't just play it.
• 14:11
  I Hate Talking: On a card that you could play something else.
• 14:14
  I Hate Talking: So if it was a green 2 and you had a yellow 2, you'd have to play the yellow 2 before you play the draw 4 cards.
• 14:20
  I Hate Talking: So the draw 4 card being sort of that last out that you have, if you don't have any other places.
• 14:26
  I Hate Talking: That then makes the player.
• 14:29
  I Hate Talking: To your left or right, I guess depending on what direction you're going on because there are reverse cards.
• 14:35
  I Hate Talking: I then made to draw 4 cards and they cannot stack an additional draw 4 card on top of it to make the next person draw 8.
• 14:45
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, that's what I would have said, and you were saying the other opposite today.
• 14:51
  I Hate Talking: Correct, because this is a house rule that I have played with.
• 14:55
  I Hate Talking: I think pretty much my entire life is that card stack, the draw card stack, and that you can play skip cards and reverse cards on top of each other that have the same effect.
• 15:07
  I Hate Talking: OK, see, I did not play it that way, so I guess I didn't play the house rules for that.
• 15:13
  I Hate Talking: The thing that I differed with you on the game was.
• 15:17
  I Hate Talking: Say somebody gets a draw 4.
• 15:20
  I Hate Talking: I said they could draw 4 and they still could place the card down.
• 15:25
  I Hate Talking: Did you look that up?
• 15:27
  I Hate Talking: Can you, is that true?
• 15:28
  I Hate Talking: So I did not find that explicitly.
• 15:32
  I Hate Talking: I have to, I guess, change my search terms here.
• 15:34
  I Hate Talking: Let's take a look and see what we can find.
• 15:36
  I Hate Talking: So I think part of the problem in even searching for this as it relates to the draw for card in you know is that there are so many search terms associated with the stacking of cards it's even hard to find out what happens to the player that has to draw the four cards, but according to the official rules, it appears that they completely lose their turn.
• 16:00
  I Hate Talking: OK, so that would be different, cause I was wanting people to continue to discard.
• 16:07
  I Hate Talking: OK, and then the other one you can look up while you're looking this up, is can you stag.
• 16:13
  I Hate Talking: When you're discarding, putting them in the pile, I always played that if you had 2.
• 16:20
  I Hate Talking: Yellow fours, you could put both down.
• 16:23
  I Hate Talking: And you said no to that.
• 16:26
  I Hate Talking: Or if you have skips, you could put, if you wanted to, you could put all the skips down in one turn.
• 16:31
  I Hate Talking: and even the things that are coming up again are the draw stacking.
• 16:36
  I Hate Talking: So can you, in that theoretical scenario, if you could play that way, can you play to draw 2s at the same time if they're the same color?
• 16:44
  I Hate Talking: Yes, but it's not like the next person I have to draw for.
• 16:48
  I Hate Talking: You'd only draw the 2, it's just discarding as many cards as you can as fast as you can.
• 16:53
  I Hate Talking: you want to get to Uno, you wanna lose as many cards as possible.
• 16:58
  I Hate Talking: So there is a house rule that if you have two cards the same number, different colors that you can play those in one turn.
• 17:07
  I Hate Talking: That is a house rule, that is not the official rule.
• 17:10
  I Hate Talking: OK.
• 17:11
  I Hate Talking: And then a lot of people are responding in this thread that even if it's two cards of the same number and same color, so the two yellow fours in your theoretical example, that you cannot do that either, and you only play one card.
• 17:28
  I Hate Talking: I definitely always played that you could play the same, and even if it was a different color, you could play it, and then I just mixes it up more with colors get swapped faster.
• 17:37
  I Hate Talking: There you go, you are employing house rules that make the games go faster.
• 17:42
  I Hate Talking: I guess.
• 17:44
  I Hate Talking: I just want to finish a game as fast as I can to be done.
• 17:47
  I Hate Talking: Ultimately though, I just, I guess, cause I want it to go faster.
• 17:52
  I Hate Talking: I want it to be interactive, and I think I don't find sitting there staring at somebody reading interactive.
• 18:01
  I Hate Talking: To me, like I said, I just, especially when it's an evening game, like tonight after dinner.
• 18:08
  I Hate Talking: I'm an early riser.
• 18:11
  I Hate Talking: I wake up so early, I go to bed embarrassingly early compared to other adults.
• 18:17
  I Hate Talking: I get it.
• 18:18
  I Hate Talking: But I will fall asleep, or, like, I can feel like my brain is slowly turning off and dimming the lights, which sounds horrible to say.
• 18:28
  I Hate Talking: I can feel it in my head when I'm sitting there staring at someone reading the back of a pamphlet on how to play these games.
• 18:36
  I Hate Talking: I'm like, let's just do it.
• 18:37
  I Hate Talking: I don't care what games you guys want to play.
• 18:39
  I Hate Talking: I don't care how you play it.
• 18:41
  I Hate Talking: Let's just do it and have fun.
• 18:43
  I Hate Talking: The second we slow down, I want to put my pajamas on and go to sleep.
• 18:47
  I Hate Talking: And that is an interesting insight that perhaps we can get into more in a future episode with some of the Strategies or.
• 18:58
  I Hate Talking: Experiences that we have as it relates to quote unquote parallel play, so in the relationship thing where you are doing your own task.
• 19:08
  I Hate Talking: Next to me doing a task that we find enjoyable such as perhaps you are listening to a podcast and I'm reading a book that we are still present together and enjoying our own thing that you don't particularly find a lot of utility in that whereas perhaps I do.
• 19:28
  I Hate Talking: You might as well be in a different state.
• 19:30
  I Hate Talking: Like, even if we're sharing the same couch, if we're doing something that like that, that means nothing to me.
• 19:37
  I Hate Talking: I'm glad that my presence is so important.
• 19:42
  I Hate Talking: Wow I mean if we were at least like, your arm was around me or like we're cuddling or something, that's something.
• 19:49
  I Hate Talking: But we're on the other side of the couch reading a book and I'm over here reading an article, like, Yeah, I don't know, it doesn't matter.
• 19:57
  I Hate Talking: I know that's different for you, so I try to spend that quality time with you, but I do not feel it the same.
• 20:02
  I Hate Talking: That is for a different topic for sure.
• 20:05
  I Hate Talking: That is for a future episode, so many things that we have still on the docket.
• 20:10
  I Hate Talking: But we are probably coming to a close on this episode, so perhaps a future episode, we will get to synthesia, we will get to sourdough, we will get the keto, and we will get to parallel play, and maybe there's even a whole episode that we can do some corrections to previous podcast episodes.
• 20:31
  I Hate Talking: So if you have noticed a mistake, you tell us about that mistake so that we can make the correction and remain.
• 20:37
  I Hate Talking: Please let us know, send us an email, send us a text, or if you have enjoyed this episode or other episodes, tell just one friend and they can enjoy this podcast as well.
• 20:51
  I Hate Talking: Sounds good So, from your friends that I hate talking, until next time, remember, it is only through talking that we begin the journey to understanding.