Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E12 - Suture Self Again

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S3 E12 - Suture Self Again · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the first comedy podcast in the history of the world.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_02: Assuming the world began when I started talking.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there too.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_02: Well, hey Johnny, thank you.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: And oh Jeff, great to be back in the studio tonight.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: How's it going, Jeff?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's going okay.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I came back from Vegas and I got sick.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_02: And yeah, you know, but I shouldn't have been a good idea.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: That happens to a lot of people in Vegas, you know.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: It does.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Uh shot of penicillin, you ought to be fine.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you can only take so much penicillin, you know.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, true.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm I shouldn't complain because my brother-in-law, Johnny, he uh was in an accident over the weekend.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: A lot more serious than me having a head cold.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: You so you have a brother-in-law, Johnny.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Is is everybody named Johnny?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, what is going on here?
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe he goes by John, or maybe there's only one N.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know, maybe it's just a coincidence.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_02: You hear all these people named Taylor and Devin, but I digress.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me what happened.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: He was driving home from work and he got hit in the on the freeway.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um the good news is he's still alive.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's good that he's still alive.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_02: Was he badly hurt?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Well, for the most part, he's all right.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know, he was knocked unconscious from the accident.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: And when he awoke, there were a group of doctors surrounding his bed and looking at him like they were really concerned about him.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, I think that scared him.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that'd scare me.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that sounds pretty serious.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: As he woke up, the doctors explained that they were very happy that he regained consciousness, but that there was a problem.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: He's okay physically, you know, he'll be able to walk and everything, except his penis got severed and they couldn't find it.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: I won't even ask what he was doing while he was driving.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: We'll probably find out eventually, but man, that's tough.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny was obviously in shock, but the doctors continued and they they calmed him down and they said, the good news is that you have a$9,000 payment that the insurance company is going to pay to you because of this situation, and we have the technology to build a new penis, and it'll work great.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: It costs about$1,000 per inch, and you've got a$9,000 credit.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Not to digress too much, but I'm gonna digress again a little bit.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's like now I'm wondering how they price vaginas.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it probably wouldn't make sense to do it by the inch, but what how do they price those?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know, but I but I digress anyway.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: So so what do you do?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: That's a good question, though.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: I was thinking the same thing, but I think he wants to stay with the penis, unless he can get a really good deal, you know.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_02: But he'd save money, yeah.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, maybe I don't know.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but anyway.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe more.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: What do I know?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: So Johnny, you know, took this as good news.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: He perked up not everywhere, but he perked up when he heard the news.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: They said, This is a serious decision.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_01: Take a day, talk it over with your wife, and decide how many inches you want.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_01: But you should understand that if you had five inches before the accident and you go with nine inches, that could be shocking to your wife.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if you had nine inches before and you go to five inches, she could be disappointed.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: So she'll feel slighted.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: So it's important for you to have that discussion with her and to come up with the right decision.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: Johnny agreed that he would talk to his wife, who is my sister Harriet.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: And the next day the doctor comes back and he says, Have you spoken to your wife?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And Johnny said, Yes, I have.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: He asked, What is your decision?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: And Johnny said that they were going to get granite countertops.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: I've been wanting granite countertops myself.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: My mom wants them too, but you know, you know, Johnny's a slob.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: He's not going to do that.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: That really just highlights how expensive surgeries and hospital and medical care in general are.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_02: And, you know, insurance, uh, yeah it's a quagmire, and they never pay for everything, and they it's a lot of work to get paid for anything.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't it horrible that you have to make those kinds of choices?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: To either choose a big penis or a nice granite countertop.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: That you can't have both.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, in a perfect world, both of those could coexist, you know.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_02: In fact, Jeff, that starts me thinking, you remember that episode we did a while back about performing surgeries on yourself?
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_02: Like the guy who did his own surgery, saved medical bills, and made surgeries basically free.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_02: Cost you know, five bucks or so.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe your brother-in-law Johnny, not our announcer Johnny, uh, maybe you should look into that.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: They had some cheap alternatives to replace body parts.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_02: I remember something about chicken breasts.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't remember exactly, but something like that.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think Johnny listens to our show.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we can replay the episode so that he can hear it.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think he'll have the surgery for a couple weeks, so we have a little bit of time, but I I really think we should get him that information as soon as possible.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_02: Couldn't agree more.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's really it's the least we can do for somebody that's that's hurting, you know.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just face it, he's hurting.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_02: So for Johnny and Harriet, and Johnny, our announcer, you you're gonna play that episode called Suit Yourself.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_02: And uh Johnny and Harriet, not our announcer, Johnny.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: I hope it helps.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_02: Good luck, Johnny.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_02: Tonight we've got more authors of books.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we had an author that wrote the hybrid vegan that we had on last time.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_02: Tonight we've got an author that wrote a book, and actually I think he he brought his literary agent with him too.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: But we have got someone who wrote a book that is going to help people.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know, Jeff, in addition to the great producer crisis of 2023, which is which is serious, but it's limited to like you know, us.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: But the crisis that really hits everyone is medical care.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Either you can't get it or it's too expensive, or you can't get it because it's too expensive.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: It's something, it's always something, you know.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: Steve, I feel bad because you know, there are the haves and the have nots of this world.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: And yes, for me, I had got a nose job for nothing at maybe the best red roof in Omaha, Nebraska.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: So you did.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, not everybody has those resources, not everybody can do that.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm really glad we're we're having having this discussion because as you know, I put my old nose back on because my producer said to do that, and I did that, and it's not working real well.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't know if it's working as well as our producer is working.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, I asked her about it, but she's she's nowhere to be found.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe we can get some help here because I'm just have I'm struggling a little bit.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Who do we have on that can help me?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, I think we've got the people that can actually answer your question and maybe even help your nose.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe even during this show, we have Taylor Green, who has written a book and brought his literary agent who uh I don't think they're related, but literary agent is named Max Green.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: So Taylor and Max.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, Steve.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: Hello, Jeff.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: How are you?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we're doing great.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, you know what?
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: It occurs to me.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_02: I I didn't tap the glass.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_02: Let me so let me just tap the glass.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I we gotta get that out of the way.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: All right, go ahead, you various greens.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, thank you.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Max Green.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean short for Maxine Green with E.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And uh is one of my clients, a l'enfant terrible of the medical industry.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Taylor Green, no e, no relation.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: With no e no relation, yes.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, Taylor, what motivated you to write this book about medical care that really is gonna help, it's gonna help the millions.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Let's face it, Jeff, the millions, let's be honest.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, Steve, it just comes from being dirt poor.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, you know, I ran into some medical issues, health issues, and I'm like, shoot, I I just can't afford a$200,000 surgery or let's just say an enhancement that I really needed in the dating world.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and the bigger the enhancement, the bigger the fee, I would imagine, too.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: So that 200,000, that would have been quite the enhancement, I would think.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, quite the enhancement.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think I tend to work on a lower level of enhancements.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_02: Uh yours might be more like 80,000.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and and the bigger the enhancement, the harder it is to put glasses on.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because in my case, my enhancement was my nose.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know what you're all thinking because you guys are really have dirty minds.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: I was about to correct your use of glasses there for something, no wonder you can't see.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, well, I can explain that.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know that.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it is hard to put those glasses on when you're sitting down.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_02: It sure is, I'll tell you.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_02: I try and I've gone through more glasses.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_02: Uh don't get me started.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, but we digress.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: So anyway, Taylor, you're poor and you thought, hey, maybe there's a way that I can get this operation done anyway, right?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: With with the advancement of things like WebMD and everyone has a DIY video on YouTube or TikTok or just a random guy on a street corner with advice.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_03: Anything goes nowadays.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_03: Anything to save a buck, or in my case, 200,000.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, medical information is so available these days.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, you can look it up and you find the real truth about medicine if you just look on the internet.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, that is just so amazing.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and something my uh that Taylor here, he's too modest, but he what he's failing to bring up is just also the innovations he achieved with through the supplies he used for this enhancement.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Really, all he did was go to the local Sally Beauty supply and get some of those Korean face razors, and boom, you have a scalpel.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then he just went to the just went to uh the local tax shop where they have all the animal supplies, and he just got some uh dog raw hide for the ligaments, etc.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And boom.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're MacGyver.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's exactly it.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_03: I have them called the uh MacGyver of modern medicine.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, I in fact, I was just gonna ask that you this must require a lot of medical equipment that might be hard to get or might be very might in itself be very expensive, but it sounds like you've solved that problem.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, heavens know.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: I and just in one chapter alone, I list 650 uses for the ballpoint pen.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if just jury-rig it to a little bit of electricity, you got a soldering iron, you got a soldering iron, you got a busted.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: You know how the world goes full circle all the time, Steve.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I was watching reruns every day.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Gunsmoke.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Every day it goes full circle.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: I was watching reruns of gunsmoke and Matt Dillon.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he ends up not the actor Matt Dillon.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: It was an actor playing Matt Dillon, but not the actor Matt Dillon who didn't play Matt Dillon.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Fine, you look at it that way, but here's my point.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: You say Matt, I say Dylan.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, exactly.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so he ends up getting shot, and Doc isn't there because Doc's drinking somewhere.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so he has kitty, kitty who is there, gets some whiskey and gets some, I think it was like a table setting at the bar restaurant and removes the bullet.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: I said to myself, why don't we do that now?
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: Why do we have to always go to the hospital to do that when everybody has a kitty?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and see, in the old west, they didn't even have Korean face razors and they didn't have some of these things like toothpaste, you know, that we can use in medicine now.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: So, how much easier would it be now?
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell you what changed.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: What happened was the formation of professional groups, you know, like uh the medical board.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a it's like the the lawyer board, it's a or the bar, it's uh it's a self-regulating profession.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And really, it's just born of generation after generation of cronyism and good old boys' clubs.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And my true my man Taylor here, he's autodidactic in the in the spirit of Abraham Lincoln.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I don't care about his private life.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_02: I really don't know.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: I really don't.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter to me, I don't care.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And Huey Newman, and so he's self-taught.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wasn't he that Panther guy that yes, yeah?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, yeah.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_03: Was that Chadwick Bozeman?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Perhaps.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, I think Huey and Chadwick were, yeah.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think they're supposed to I I imagine.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in a similar fashion, you also like Huey Newman, taught yourself how to read, and then you taught yourself how to uh do breast implants using chicken cutlets, but not chicken cutlets, the slang, chicken cutlets from your fridge.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: I just saw that chicken cutlets are on sale, 99 cents a pound.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: We know from our last guest that they can be vegan too.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: You could even have veal chops that were vegan.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, yes.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: Most importantly, beacons.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yes, absolutely.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: And no 200,000 for that enhancement, no, sir.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Four dollars.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: That's gonna be a lot of wow, so it'd be four dollars like a pound for the chicken, right?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, yeah, you know, Jeff, it is so exciting.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_02: We have yet another author who is sticking it to the man, going against the system, going for the the new world that we all want.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that is so exciting, Jeff.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: It is, and Mo, do you mind if I quote you?
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: When Mo's talking about this organization, I am related to Mo Green, so it I oh you're not Mo Green.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: You got the same eyes, yeah.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: I I recognize your eyes, man.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I have a c I have a cousin named Mo.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: So Mo Mo Mo Max, isn't that that rapist film company?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, no, I'm okay, but I digress.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: But anyways, and and actually I have a cousin named Mo, and he thinks he's a prophet, which is another story, but uh we'll we'll go through some other he thinks he's Moses, like we okay.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just let's just say it, right?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: He thinks he's Moses the professional class, the people who took away the common sense, the figure it out yourself, and instead they go to some sort of medical school, like some school that teaches medicine, and we lose because in the end we are not able to fix ourselves.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Now, my wife she knows exactly what's wrong with everybody by a single symptom, and it's usually autism or diabetes.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: She's right so much of the time.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: If she could just fix it through surgery, that would be ideal.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: You know, now she can just diagnose it and then she can't do anything about it.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm hoping that maybe she will listen to this.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have surgery that would help a say a diabetic autistic person?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, page 50 of my book, Suit Yourself, actually describes in detail what household items can simultaneously cure diabetes and autism, and a pinch of cancer if you've got that too.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Take the door off the microwave, and you got radiation therapy right there.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it's so available to everyone, everyone with a microwave.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: A hundred bucks, you get a microwave.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_02: You take the door off, you're you know, you're done.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's perfect.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I should say we shouldn't be giving page citations yet, Taylor, because uh we've got multiple editions flying around because uh we're working with Simon and Shyster.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: And and so we don't trust them.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's it's okay.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're in our shyster guy is we're in our third print in Cuba, apparently, but we've yet to get our advance.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: So that's Simon and Shyster for you.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: It goes into beyond page 50.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: Taylor goes into more complex surgeries like brain surgery, heart surgery, and really those are just pretty intuitive plumbing operations.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: What you've got to plan for is blood.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of blood loss, you gotta plan for the blood.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: So in the appendix, we talk about running your own blood drive.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: All you need are some cookies, some juice, some chase lounges.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's a good idea.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: I do have a question though, because this is where it always seems to get bogged down.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't do a blood drive, is there a substitute for blood?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: Something that you could find around the house, tomato juice, tomato sauce, anything that says ragu or prego on it, the same color.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: I think I believe Alfred Hitchcock combined caro corn syrup and red food dye.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_02: There have been some of those Sunday brunches with the the unlimited Bloody Marys.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_02: And my my blood was probably mostly tomato juice by the time I got done.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: A little bit of vodka there, too.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, we have so much more to talk to them about.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_02: But Jeff, I gotta tell you, we have a repeat sponsor tonight.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I can't wait.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Who are the publisher kit for us?
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Those good people, the good people on both sides at Appropriation Station.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, they ran an ad for the restaurant in the last one.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, now they're expanding out, they're really appropriating everything.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_02: So they have gotten into the clothing market.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, we ran an ad for them last season, but this is the first one for this season.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I think why don't we play the tape?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: Rising sorry prices have you stressed?
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: Save your sampatie, ladies, and still keep that trendy Mumbai style at the Metro's premier subcontinent second-hand clothing bazaar, Who's Sorry Now?
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: Save money and still look Vindaloo hot with our previously worn but gently used saris.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_02: We have all the popular saffron colors in styles from A-line to Z build.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_02: And don't worry about the fit, our own So Sorry alterations department will have you looking like the Queen of the Devas in no time.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Plus, we guarantee these soris have been thoroughly cleaned, so you won't have to worry about getting dermatitis from a Who's Sorry Now sorry.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: Join us for our special Hindi 500 weekend sale and make a day of it.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_02: Shop until you drop, and then dine like a Brahmin at our new deli.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: But don't delay, once the weekend ends, our sale is gone like Gandhi.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: You can seek all over town and you won't find better soris at a better price, Primika.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_02: This Kaliuga lasts 432,000 years, so you better get a few extra soris.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: Come to the home for South Asian secondhand style, Who's Sorry Now?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_02: Located in the corner of Ganges and Monsoon Avenue, right next to the buffet.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: No, the other buffet.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: Save money, and nobody will know your sorry isn't brand new.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: Who's sorry now?
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_02: A proud Appropriation Station brand.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not even from India, and I want a sorry now.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_02: Teresa's birthday is coming up here, and I'm thinking, now she asked for a new car, but I'm thinking I should get her a sorry instead.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because she'll remember that.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: She'll be like a princess.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_02: She will.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_02: She will be, and she'll look Vendaloo hot.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: Forget this one, Steve.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_02: I'll tell you, she'll remember that forever.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_02: And she'll never let me forget it either.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: So I we'll both remember it.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and who's sorry now?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's gonna be the doctors in those hospitals.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: They're sorry that they're insurance companies.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, they're not getting the big money because we can do this ourselves.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_02: We can control it's like we were talking last last show, talking about controlling our own means of production.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_02: This is controlling your own means of, well, if you get a vasectomy, it's controlling your own means of reproduction, I suppose, right?
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_02: But it's still kind of the same idea, isn't it?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Taylor is taking some efforts to get some legitimacy so he can get some privileges at the local hospital.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: Remind me, Taylor, you've applied to medical schools in Guyana, Falkland Islands, and was it North or South Korea?
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: Both.
• 19:00
  unknown: Okay.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we're waiting to hear back.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, Kim gave me really good feedback.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: I I think Kim's really looking forward to uh working with me on this.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Tell you, if you do get in in North Korea, I never met him personally, but from the pictures, I think he he probably needs a little work.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: They're doing some amazing things with cabbage and fermentation there.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I bet, yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: So much health can come from that, from just fermented cabbage.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_02: Who knew, right?
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to spoil any any secrets here, but um little chem, as I call them.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: Uh is looking to get a little taller, so we're gonna add about three to four inches to his height.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: Call it a knee lift.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna go to the dog food store, get some more raw high for that one.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's gonna take a bunch of raw hide.
• 19:39
  unknown: Wow.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_02: Can the average person really do surgery on themselves?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_03: I come from a family and belief system that there's no such thing as average individuals.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_03: We are all extraordinary, and with the right tools in our hands, we can perform any operation.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: Heck, I perform my own brain surgery.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: I used to have a really, really bad stutter.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_03: I was just kidding there.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have any it's not that bad.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's better, right?
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: I bet I bet you didn't have a sense of humor before you operated on your brain.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely not.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's a great one.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_03: Now I laugh uncontrollably for three to six hours at a time daily, but it's also while while I study and fish.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_03: Does the surgery take a long time?
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: If you surgery doesn't take as long as the healing process and the money you save anyway.
• 20:28
  unknown: Yeah.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_00: But really, I mean, with all the antibiotics in our chicken cutlets and elsewhere, I mean, you don't really need antibiotics.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: They're just kind of all over every surface these days.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_02: If you have an infection, just pack yourself in a bunch of chicken breasts and you you know you ought to be fine.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, just lay there for a couple days and you ought to be swell.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_03: Salmonella does seem to be a cure for the common cold.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_03: See, nobody had a cure for the common cold, but he found your body will completely forget about the common cold when you have salmonella.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I bet, yeah.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, Steve, I think you remember that we talked about me starting over the summer, starting a new business where we rent out puppies for the weekend.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and then people can play with them and then they can return them, you know, like pick them up Friday and then return them on Sunday.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I've got a few extra that were not returned, and I've got them downstairs.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: My question is so you're feeling a little uneasy about operating on somebody for the first time.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: What about operating on the puppies to get good at it?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like maybe do brain surgery on one of the puppies, or should we remove a leg or or add a leg?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_02: What a great idea because that could free up the veterinary system too, in addition to the human legal system.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, and it's the same surgery, right?
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think the challenge is getting the puppies to drink vodka because really you just gotta knock knock the patient out first.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: And so l let my mom take care of those puppies for a couple of weeks, they'll be drinking vodka.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_02: No problem there, right?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: I Again, we're just going full circle.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: What did they do when they developed different products for the medical category or perfume?
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: They would use them on animals.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Animal testing.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: So it's good enough for them, but not good enough for us because we don't have a diploma.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: So that means we can't like take a dog and do a hernia operation on a dog to see if it works.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: To venture further into that, I I've only dabbled a little bit one with the animals.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_03: My sweet, sweet sister-in-law donated to me Freddie, her peacock.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: And Freddie's been a wonderful sport.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: He lets me practice all types of fun operations on him.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: I removed his tonsils.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: Did you know uh peacocks have tonsils?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_02: Didn't know a peacock even had tonsils.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't either.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_02: Do they still talk the same?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Pretty much the same.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's just normally a very loud squawk, and they all sound the same to me.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_03: It doesn't affect the tail at all.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: No, no.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: Still elegant, beautiful tail.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_03: Some of the feathers have fallen off, but that's due to other things that unrelated to the surgery.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_03: Looks like MC emblem now with proper spacing between the colors.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_02: That's actually kind of a thinning out for art's sake.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's a much more beautiful look and um pretty much.
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: Also, he's got like a like a breast implant that were, you know, it's a prototype made out of hot glue and balloons on its back that were still in the beta.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: The milk tastes great.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: Peacock breast implant.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: There's something.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_02: You know, when I woke up this morning, I had no idea that there was such a thing as a peacock breast implant, but here it is.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: They don't seem to really go together, though, peacocks and breasts.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: Until now.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Until now.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: Until now.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: Until now.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're showing on the back, showing on the front.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: I bet peacock breast is pretty tasty too.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: We should talk to our Nouvelle Vegan author about maybe adding that to the menu.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_02: That sounds kind of tasty, implant or not.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: This iteration's a bit rubbery.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's made out of hot glue and uh balloons because we were watching uh what what video were we relying on?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Five minute craft?
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: Uh buried YouTube video, five minute crafts.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: We we get our inspiration from everywhere.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean I'm helping out.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just getting him the deals.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, here's a question I have for you to get started for our first surgery.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do you recommend doing a tandem, you know, kind of like skydiving, where like should Steve and I operate on each other, or or do you think we should go directly into the self surgeries ourselves?
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_03: For first timers, I always recommend having a trusted, and I do mean trusted uh companion by your side.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: There could be slight mishaps for rookies, like excessive blood loss.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: You'd hate to be the one passing out on your own brain surgery, making you unable to complete it, things like that.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_03: So you need someone to hold tiles, hand you objects, uh tools, things of that nature, or just read a magazine to you.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: And these things are very important for the recovery process as well.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: I could see how if you fall asleep or pass out during your own brain surgery, that could that could wind up pretty much negating the whole process.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: Just on a personal note, my grandmother held my hand through my own vasectomy, squeeze it as tight as she could, uh, you know, just to make sure that hey, still there, can you feel me?
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: Can you feel me?
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_03: And I replied, Hey grandma, can you feel me?
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: Can you feel me?
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_03: And uh yeah.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, all he had to do was ironically, I think that is the way you recommend to do a vasectomy is to squeeze really hard.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: Your grandmother's hand, yes.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, grandma's hand.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: And your vast deference.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, right, right.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: And there's a vast difference between that and her and her hand, I would think too, you know.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: We've been doing this in the rest of our press junket, but we can also do a little demonstration for you.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, a demo would be wonderful.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Now, for the listeners at home, you won't be able to see this, but we we'll we'll they'll describe it and we'll we'll kind of hear our reactions, and you'll oh you'll hear you'll hear it all.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: I've got a skin tag on my inner thigh that's been bothering me for some time.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been getting bigger and bigger.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: And uh Taylor, where are those uh stirrups uh you've made out of the bow flex?
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_03: I'm out of those, but I will be using dental floss for today.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_02: All right, well, don't kick too hard.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_00: All right, well, so here's my leg.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you got my leg here.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_03: Got your leg.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so I'm simultaneously the patient and the nurse.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: Scalpel, it's a carbon face razor.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is so exciting, Jeff.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: Why does this not feel like pork?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: Sanitize the uh the area with spit.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, wait, I got this towelette from a KFC.
• 26:40
  SPEAKER_02: Oh good move.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, I really like that.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: I wish we had rewind.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_02: I watched that part again.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: That I really like that part.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: That was good, but it's trying to digress.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_03: All right, I'm gonna get you to say here it's gonna hurt.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: What if it hurts?
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna hurt.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: Well, ambisol.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: We got some ambisol.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_03: I have yeah, nicle will work just fine.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'll let it be absorbed through my skin.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, okay.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: All right, we've got like a local anesthetic going straight from the skin.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Cool.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_03: All right, all right, hold still.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: Making the cut.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: I said hold still.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: No, okay, okay.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: Are you sawing at it?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: What is happening?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's gotta come off.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's a skin tag.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: He's making the cut.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: She didn't see if I didn't know better.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm looking at a doctor here.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think so.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, everyone.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: All better now.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Look at him.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: Hold this towel next to it for the next three days.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: How much did you take off?
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: All of it.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, there's a lot of blood.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_03: Well, blood means that that it's working.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: That means that's a healthy sign.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_01: And as long as you've got some ketchup in the area or you know, something that can replace that, then I think you'll be fine.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just smear a little toothpaste on there.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_02: That's just stop the toothpaste.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_02: Good idea.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: You left like a pit.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was, I thought you were just gonna like nick what he was eating prunes while he was doing it.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, goes back.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: See, this is this is what doctors do when they're done with surgery.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: They like have these discussions.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: But the patient's knocked out, so they could they kind of BS, but we don't have because we're like, you know, we're laying there like in a coma with them.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_02: It's a little different.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's really hard to see through all the anyquil, but I am just reacting because I'm just so used to the institution and the man's way of performing medicine.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so I guess that's just part of the culture shock and the innovation of going to someone like Taylor Green.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_03: Would you like a post-operation lollipop or joint?
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: Joint, please.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: Joint.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wow.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: Or my doctor never gave me a joint.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_02: Let me tell you.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_02: I you know, I did smoke a few with guys who later became doctors, but that's not necessarily we'll do that in a different show sometime.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: But I digress.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: Or anything.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff and listeners at home, that was quick.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_02: That was that seemed to be after the NyQuil, relatively painless.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: I can't wait to show it off at the pool.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's ready for the pool.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, this is amazing.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: I think this book is really gonna sell millions of copies.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, totally.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_02: If it's not blocked by the Doctors Association, oh, they're gonna be able to do that.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: Stephen Jeff, I know it's going to be a success because I am already receiving death threats from other people.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_02: Perfect.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, perfect.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: Really, what we got to do once we get our advance and our profits from Simon and Schyster, we gotta take this to the legislature.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta push for legitimacy.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: Remember doctors of osteopathy?
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean just a few decades ago, everyone thought they were full of shit.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: Then they just went and lobbied all the politicians so that all of a sudden they can practice medicine in the hospitals too.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what again, it's money moves the world, you know, it makes the world go round.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's all Taylor has to do here is just really work with the system to get legitimacy and then Trojan horse his way in.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm I'm trying to work with my my eighth most distant cousin, uh Majorie Taylor Green.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not sure if you've heard of her.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, maybe we can get this stuff really, really pushed through.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_03: I hear she's doing well.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well relation on my part.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_02: I've got a date later tonight with Lauren Boebert.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: I'll I'll add because I they know each other.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: I'll ask, I'll ask her to put don't go to a movie, don't go to a movie theater.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: Or we're going to a play.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: I'm really looking forward to it.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_02: That's I'm like it.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't seen the musical play, but the movie Beetlejuice always kind of got me, you know, a little excited.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I don't know.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: Jeff, I do have household remedy for uh sporadic arousal uh using only zip ties.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: Speaking of zip ties, when we get off the air, I know we got to go in a minute here.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: We get off the air, I gotta talk to you about my nose because it's it's it's loose and sometimes it falls off and I have to put it back on.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you could give me some tips because I'd like to take care of that.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, real quick, uh, I'm a professional.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can just take a small amount of gorilla glue, put it on your index finger, and just push it straight up your nose and each nostril until you feel that hold, or until you have to breathe out of your mouth.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_03: And that's how you know you've completed.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: Taylor, I just saved you a thousand.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_03: Works on hair as well.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: It works on hair or it creates hair.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: If when you start to see hair loss, just apply it, it'll just stay there.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_03: The whatever hair you have remaining will just simply stay there.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: You know, Steve, I have noticed that I've lost a little hair lately.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I should look into that.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_02: Of course, putting stuff up your nose.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that shouldn't be a problem for you, Jeff, but I put stuff up your nose, I don't know.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's kind of uh kind of odd, but I'll I'll give it a shot.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_02: Why not?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_02: We are just about to run out of time here.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_02: They're gonna kick us out of eccentric Lady Land Studios, and we're gonna keep up with you guys, and we maybe would like to have you back once the sales are really rolling in and once you've really stuck it to the man.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: I like that.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Taylor, this has been one of the more educational podcasts that I have ever been a part of.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited to get off the air and start operating.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_02: If you guys could stick around, we'd we'd like to talk.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: We got a couple of surgeries we're we're thinking about even now.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, stick around, stick around.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: Just uh we'll talk to you out outside the booth here.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_02: All right, thanks, Taylor.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, everybody.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_02: Jeff, I'll see you on the next show.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_02: Sounds good.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_02: Talk to you later.