Latest / The R4R Podcast: Road to Zero / Heidi Prowse, Ben Alexander and Matt Breen

Transcript

Heidi Prowse, Ben Alexander and Matt Breen · The R4R Podcast: Road to Zero

0:01
And one strategy I want to ask you just saying you're a giver.
0:06
You give and you give and you give.
0:08
Yeah. Where do you draw the boundary
0:10
and when do you know to put yourself first?
0:13
Yeah. So I have often talked about the
0:16
strategies that I use for my mental health and often people
0:20
will reply them back to me and say all of those strategies are
0:25
about helping other people. So it's coaching netball, OK,
0:29
you're still coaching. You know, it's it's all of these
0:32
things that I would be doing, but they would still be in the
0:35
service of others. So they were things that were
0:38
giving me a lot of energy. It hasn't actually been till
0:42
this year that I have been in the position where I've gone.
0:46
I need to find who I am. I need to rediscover her.
0:53
And so I started playing netball and that's been luckily I have
0:59
not been injured and I didn't have a heart attack.
1:02
So I'm really happy about it. But I, I've always loved, but
1:07
I've loved coaching. But it was this thing that went,
1:10
OK, this is now for me. And then I started busking and I
1:15
might be singing on the street, but I am doing it because I, I
1:21
love singing. I, it gives me energy and I've
1:25
not utilised these types of strategies for a really long
1:29
time. And so this I would say is the
1:33
first time that I'm really starting to work it out and then
1:37
trying to find the balance because giving does give me a
1:42
lot of energy, but it's not the same as it used to be.
1:46
So I have to be mindful. I have to really consider what
1:50
I'm doing. And then I've thrown myself into
1:54
starting my own business. And that has changed the way
1:58
that I even interact with the community because I could
2:02
participate as an advisor and a supporter and a connector.
2:06
And now that's what my business does for a fee.
2:09
So that almost has created a structure for me that I probably
2:14
needed but didn't necessarily plan.
2:19
It sounds like you're learning who you are by exposing yourself
2:25
to new frontiers in a sense where you have no choice.
2:31
You can't rest on old habits. You got to be like, all right,
2:34
I've got to learn how to swim. Yeah.
2:36
That's pretty scary for a lot of people.
2:40
Yeah, I imagine busking is pretty scary.
2:41
I can imagine. I wouldn't.
2:43
But like that moment where you signed up for netball or that
2:46
moment when you decided you were going to busk, Well, let's use
2:49
that as that's something new that somebody is trying to learn
2:52
themselves with. They're trying to figure
2:53
themselves out. How do you get over that hurdle
2:55
of fear apart from just go? Yeah, and I definitely am a put
3:00
2 feet together and jump, Yeah. But I guess the advice that I
3:05
would give to a friend would be what really is the worst that
3:11
could happen. So if I.
3:14
I've thought about this. Constructive catastrophizing.
3:16
Yeah, like try and figure out actually what.
3:19
And then put a plan together for.
3:20
That if it happens, yeah, yeah. So that it's essentially like,
3:25
do you do your risk assessment for the for the activity and
3:29
going prepared because actually, welcome to life.
3:33
Things don't always work out. So I could go, Yeah.
3:36
Oh my God, who knew? It's never that bad if I don't,
3:39
yeah. Most of the time, the value of
3:43
doing and and then also the space of nothing bad doesn't
3:51
teach you something. So every opportunity that we
3:55
have is still going to give us something, even if we feel like
3:57
we've lost. Yeah.
3:59
Failing upwards, yeah. Yeah, just give it a crack.
4:03
Yeah, now you have obviously that company you worked for,
4:08
that charity, sorry, Mental Illness Education Act.
4:12
Yeah, a lot of those traditional methods you spoke about, a lot
4:16
of them were being taught to schools.
4:18
I think you've got quite a big badge of honour.
4:21
I think you said triple the rate of education of kids in schools.
4:26
Yeah. How do you see?
4:28
I mean, we're seeing a little bit with recess for resilience,
4:30
but we also see it, you know, sometimes you need to dam the
4:34
river upstream. How does given those habits to
4:38
kids or what habits are mental illness Education Act giving to
4:42
kids? Because we think that's going to
4:44
be a big, once we get a suicide free Canberra keeping it that
4:48
way, yeah. So May Act is an incredible
4:53
organisation that has volunteers that have a lived experience of
4:58
mental ill health or a mental illness, so a diagnosis of a
5:02
chronic mental illness. And they've walked the path.
5:08
And what is really profound about the way they communicate
5:14
and the way they teach people to communicate is we recognise that
5:19
these things happen. What does it kind of feel like?
5:21
What could it look like? How might you notice it?
5:25
But then what did I do? And that can include things that
5:28
don't work, that that might not have worked for me.
5:31
But what, how did you then respond to that?
5:36
So it could be, say, the ones that from stories that I've
5:40
listened to that always resonate and always come back to mind is
5:44
the person who said, I went to 38 psychologists until I found
5:50
the right one that I just clicked with.
5:54
And so we think, gosh, that's a lot, but you know, you went to
5:58
the first one and you're still trying, but you just needed to
6:01
find the person that you were going to click with and then
6:04
that became the right service. And so that's not a negative
6:11
thing to say. It's a thing to say that
6:13
actually the relationship that you have with your psychologist
6:17
is really important. And it's not like going to the
6:20
GP where you can just walk in and go, well, there's AGP, you
6:24
do a thing, I do a thing, we all walk out.
6:27
Yeah. So not every psychologist is
6:31
going to necessarily work for you.
6:33
And that's OK. Even I know in myself that I've
6:37
had different psychologists at different times where I think if
6:42
I had gone to them at a different period of time, they
6:44
wouldn't have been right. They were right when I had them.
6:47
And then I needed a different thing.
6:50
And I'm lucky that I've built my awareness around that.
6:54
So at one point, particularly in grief, I needed someone to
6:59
explain grief back to me. Before I was experiencing that
7:04
grief. All I needed to do was just
7:06
offload and have someone that could just hold it for me.
7:10
They're two different people, you know?
7:13
Then getting to a point where you go, OK, now I want to go
7:17
down a path, am I looking for a psychologist or I'm actually
7:21
looking at more of a coach or someone who can help me build
7:24
those goals again. So that's the difference that
7:29
may act create is they that you get to see a real human in front
7:34
of you that tells you what it's been a thing.
7:39
It's a thing that I've experienced and it might be a
7:41
thing that I live with every day if it is a, you know, chronic
7:45
diagnosed illness. But you also get to hear how
7:50
people have responded. And so you then either see your
7:55
reflection, you see yourself in some of the things that they've
7:59
described, or you look through the mirror, sorry, through the
8:03
window. And you can build empathy and
8:06
better understanding of those around you.
8:08
Oma. You see a new perspective, like
8:11
at the camp, it sounds like stories is a big part of what
8:16
May ACT is, and I think that's something we're trying to do.
8:18
And thank you for sharing your story.
8:21
But your story is still gone. Yeah.
8:24
What do you. I know you're still in the
8:26
community sector and you mentioned briefly what you're
8:29
doing, but we want to hear it on the podcast.
8:31
What are you doing now to water your patch of grass?
8:33
Yeah, which is fascinating, I think where I've ended up.
8:37
So this year I launched Purpose Media Canberra and it is a is a
8:42
community storytelling platform and it isn't just focused on
8:46
mental health, but it looks at all aspects of things that
8:49
improve our quality of life. And what I really recognised was
8:55
that knowledge about access to and even how to access support
9:03
of any kind from housing to mental health is really
9:07
challenging, particularly when you have no previous experience.
9:11
And I found that I have this huge amount of knowledge about
9:16
our sector, around our services, around who's who and what they
9:19
do. And so I wanted to start telling
9:21
stories about it. And so I've created a platform
9:24
that will take you through the local news, what's been
9:27
happening in the community, but it'll also link those stories
9:30
back to the services and the organisations that are helping
9:34
us. We have a but I didn't know
9:36
section and that's really about posing things that maybe you
9:41
didn't even know that you needed to know.
9:43
So one of the first ones was during dental health week.
9:47
And it was, but I didn't know I needed to ask my mom if she's
9:50
cleaned her teeth. You know, my mom was the person
9:53
that taught me how to clean my teeth.
9:54
And I didn't necessarily think that there would be a point in
9:57
time where I'd need to check on her dental health because
10:01
actually it can become a really hard thing.
10:03
And I don't say senior because she'll yell at me, but I say the
10:05
wise when they become more wise. These are the types of things
10:10
that we need to know, because having poor dental health when
10:13
you are wise can be quite catastrophic.
10:17
Bit of awareness. Yeah, so, but people will
10:20
remember the stories at any moment in their life that they
10:24
need to refer back to them. But what I really wanted to do
10:27
was create a place that you would go every day and you're
10:30
meeting a friend. They're telling you a story.
10:32
They're connecting with you. They're telling you about the
10:35
wombat that went to a food pantry at 3:00 AM at night.
10:38
And also letting you know where you then get food relief in case
10:41
you were looking for it, because wombats know where to get it.
10:43
But maybe you don't. And it's you're building a
10:46
relationship. But then it also means on the
10:49
day that you don't know where to go, you've got a place to start.
10:53
And that is the hardest thing. When you are faced with any
10:57
challenge, where do you even begin?
11:00
You don't. There are so many services,
11:02
there are so many different things we can do.
11:05
But the best thing that we can do is hear someone else's story
11:08
and see ourselves in it, or look through the window and go, maybe
11:11
that's where I can begin. So it's about connecting people
11:15
to services and then in the back end we work directly with
11:19
service providers and organisations to upskill and
11:23
build their capacity. So we do a lot of work around
11:27
sort of governance of organiser. How are they operating?
11:31
Are they operating in the most effective and efficient way?
11:34
Are they fundraising? How is their community
11:36
engagement? What are the types of things
11:38
that they do? And it's everything from
11:40
building strategies, creating implementation frameworks and
11:44
then getting out on the ground and even helping them to sort of
11:46
build those skills. And for me, I guess it's what
11:49
I've always done in the sector, but I've done it for one cause.
11:54
So really I guess. The the usually quite the little
11:57
places that stitch the sector together.
11:59
Literally. Yeah.
12:01
And from both sides. Connective tissue, and it sounds
12:03
similar to the Medicare mental health centre in that people,
12:08
especially when they're at the coalface of whatever it is,
12:11
mental health, physical health issue, they're like overwhelmed
12:17
with it. Their eyes, the blinkers are on,
12:19
they can't think of it. So it has somebody to bring you
12:21
into the triage, which is what I understand Medicare mental
12:25
health centre does, and then direct you to the relevant help.
12:28
It sounds like an Unreal service, and that sounds like
12:32
what you're doing, but for everything.
12:34
Yes. And that is where I started to
12:37
see through all the research because I'd noticed that this
12:41
was a problem. And I've done a lot of work in
12:43
trying to like, why is it an issue?
12:46
And we do try to solve it even in silos, but the silos already
12:50
exist. And I sort of thought I'll build
12:51
a platform that people just go and find services.
12:55
But then I'm like, but how they know that exists?
12:57
Like we're just adding another. Information overwhelm.
12:59
Yeah, and so I thought actually people are disconnecting from
13:05
traditional media. The way media is reported can be
13:10
really triggering and traumatising for a lot of
13:12
people. But that then means that we're
13:14
creating more isolation because people are being becoming
13:18
disconnected from the things that are happening.
13:20
Like the wombat that goes to a food pantry.
13:24
That's the kind of thing where you go.
13:26
I love that story. It made me laugh, it made me
13:28
feel funny about it. It was in Dunlop.
13:30
I'm also a W Belconian, so you know, that makes me feel happy.
13:35
That starts to build connection and all it is is a story.
13:39
So if we can create a place that people are just going to on a
13:43
day to day basis to feel connected, then they already are
13:47
in the right place on the day that they're having their worst
13:49
day. And it's about, have you then
13:52
met? How far have you gone here?
13:54
Did you know you can do this and circle background if you need to
13:58
try another one. Well, and on stories, I remember
14:00
the first time we met when you came down to Afro 4 years ago.
14:05
Yeah, you were I think one of the early, I think you were our
14:07
second. Like getting Rob D Costello was
14:09
the 1st. I'm glad that it was him and he
14:12
was. You were the second got.
14:14
Good lung capacity, Yeah, he. Can talk for as long as he can
14:17
run. But and Brandy didn't really
14:22
tell me this when he first emailed the doc asked about our
14:25
Farah just wonderful from middle health.
14:27
No worries told me his dad had passed took his life and it
14:34
wasn't until I've met a few runs into it like I learned this
14:37
like, oh Jesus, this guy's got a powerful story.
14:38
His mum's sick like a really, you know, sold shooter at the
14:41
dock and well here let's let's back this guy like he's he's
14:44
putting himself out there. He's going through a rough
14:46
patch. But then I don't know, when you
14:47
told me you're like your goal initially hadn't you didn't tell
14:50
me this at the start, but your goal was to save one life, one
14:52
life from suicide. As many times as.
14:55
Possible. Well, you didn't say that bit at
14:56
the start. You said it was 1 I think.
14:58
You're right. And then then at the end of the
15:04
first, I think it was around the 1st birthday, I think you
15:06
remember get you, you got a message from someone saying
15:08
like, thank you for our help saving my life.
15:10
It was a year or two into it, into it.
15:12
But then you came down on Wednesday night and bit after
15:16
that and you said a couple of people had told you that it had
15:19
helped. Yeah.
15:20
And that's how I remember going home going, geez, all this work.
15:23
We're putting it after I was actually helping.
15:25
Yeah, let's keep going with it. Like, yeah, can you?
15:28
Because that was just like AI remember going home that night
15:31
to tell my wife like this, Heidi, this year from this
15:34
mental ill in a Mayac. Yeah, said this.
15:37
And then I don't think I slept much that night.
15:39
I mean, I woke up in the morning still buzzing, going.
15:42
All that work is worth it. Let's double down and keep
15:45
going. And then that's really given us
15:47
the momentum more and the belief, belief and nudge to
15:52
let's have a crack at a suicide free Canberra.
15:54
Yep. And isn't this the problem that
15:58
we have in society where because you are actually solving a
16:03
problem that you can't count and you shouldn't because the
16:09
numbers shouldn't be there. But our entire systematic
16:12
funding, responsive services, is focused on the numbers that we
16:18
can count. And that's what I think is a
16:21
real problem that we don't do enough in prevention.
16:26
We do focus quite heavily in crisis and response because
16:30
they're tangible, but actually the prevention is so key and so
16:36
I. You only get a pat on the back
16:38
if you solve a crisis, not if you prevent one.
16:41
Exactly. Yeah, because you don't know
16:43
unless someone says you saved my life and that's a big thing for
16:48
someone to share. But I was in a very unique
16:52
position and I can't tell you where it was, but I was in a
16:58
very unique position where I was talking in depth with a group of
17:02
people about running for resilience and we were all
17:07
sharing stories and things that we'd heard and things that we'd
17:10
connected with. And one of the people around
17:11
that table said, I have a friend who moved to Canberra and they
17:19
said that going there saved their life.
17:23
And I went, I need to make sure that you know this because it's
17:31
so simple but so complex at the same time, the simplicity of
17:37
what R for R offers, but the complexity is just as
17:43
significant. And that is walking into a space
17:47
of a group of people who just smile at you so you feel seen
17:55
for the first time in a day. And I, so Wednesday was the day
18:01
my, you know, the anniversary of my husband and I did not get out
18:05
of bed. My mum then came over and we
18:07
watched Ted Lasso. And then I said to her, I'm
18:11
leaving. I've got to go to Alpha.
18:13
I have to be there because it has become a thing that is
18:18
saving my life. It is so powerful to walk into a
18:23
space where people see you and not, not the Heidi Krauss
18:29
Peacock show, but just so like, hey, great to see you again,
18:33
how's things? And I don't have to get into
18:36
anything that is huge. Then when you start to make
18:42
friends and connections to people that you would not be
18:45
exposed to in any other way. Because we say that Canberra's
18:48
small, but it isn't small. It is full of minor tiny little
18:53
circles, circles of people. And if you're not in one of
18:58
those circles, it is very difficult.
19:01
It is very isolating and it's very lonely.
19:03
And the only way that you can try to find ways to break into
19:07
those circles is through places that go just show up.
19:11
Just keep moving. Every time I'm running, I hear
19:12
Matt in my head going, just keep moving.
19:14
I'm like, shut up for years. I think there's something else
19:18
as well, and I'm glad. I'm also like, what's the word
19:22
humble? Humbled that you're seeing such
19:24
an impact from it. But there's also just this, this
19:29
acknowledgement, this unspoken acknowledgement that we people
19:35
who are part of our Farrar believe that someone's going
19:39
through something, whatever it may be, believe that it's real
19:42
to them and believe that they can overcome it.
19:45
I think there's just some, I don't know what it is, but when
19:47
you're in that around those group of people that at least
19:50
just acknowledge, not maybe explicitly, but acknowledge
19:55
their existence, yeah. Or the existence of their
19:57
feelings. You just are it.
19:59
Validates. You exist, Yeah.
20:00
Well, I've seen it. I've seen it happen where
20:02
people's shoulders relax in real time.
20:04
I've felt it as well. It's yeah.
20:08
And the other thing that I think is really important that people
20:10
know is that yes, I was very sporty when I was younger, but
20:15
exercise is the last thing that I want to be a part of.
20:20
And I even said, so Jordan is one of the my fellow R for R
20:25
people. He was the one that just kept
20:27
pushing me and kept saying, you know, you've not showing up to
20:30
things. And I was like, that's because
20:32
I'm not getting out of bed. Like I'm not participating in
20:34
life. I'm cutting things off.
20:35
I just can't do it. And he just kept saying to me
20:37
every week, just come, just come, just come.
20:40
And I was like, no, I hate you. Stop it.
20:45
And so I did. I got out of bed one day and I
20:47
walked. And this was only a few months
20:50
ago. And then I stood with this group
20:51
of people that were all of his friends at the end and they were
20:55
all talking about the marathons that they were training for.
20:57
And someone looked at me and they said, so Heidi, which
20:59
marathon are you training for? And I said, you know, the
21:01
marathon that I'm training for is I got out of bed today and
21:05
that is the biggest thing that I've done in weeks.
21:11
And they didn't be like, oh, that's weird.
21:13
Like, why are you not doing this?
21:16
Because you're here to train for a marathon.
21:18
It was just a that's awesome. And so I think often we go, oh,
21:24
run club. I'm not a runner.
21:25
I won't fit in. I won't connect with people.
21:28
But that isn't the case that I've seen at our for our is that
21:31
I can come and I can walk every time or I can.
21:35
It's not about the. Running it's not.
21:37
I actually wanted to ban the word running from this podcast.
21:40
It's too much. Yeah.
21:42
You you Mike Thimbo, who we'll have on the podcast eventually.
21:46
He speaks about when he got sick.
21:48
He a a a win for him a good day for him was when he brushed his
21:54
teeth Yeah, because he had like a real fatigue yeah ridden
21:58
disease. And I was like, it kind of put
22:00
me me in perspective. It's like it is just keep moving
22:06
however you can. It's putting it onto yourself,
22:10
the frame of however you can. What is the best that you can do
22:13
to just keep moving forward? Because you got to try and move
22:16
forward, but do it however you can, Yeah.
22:19
And so it's good that you're moving forward.
22:22
Yeah, in some shape or other, and maybe I'll do a few steps
22:26
back and another to the side and pretend that I'm a Latin dancer
22:29
or something, but. Maybe that's the next hobby for
22:31
you. Yeah.
22:31
Oh goodness. No, no, actually line dancing.
22:34
I tried that last night. Was good fun.
22:36
So I was going to just said, but that all ties back to you some
22:38
about optimism, Yeah, like OK, things aren't going great, but
22:42
focusing on what you can control, what is OK things, this
22:46
is not going great. This is really shit, but what
22:48
can I control? How can I move forward in
22:50
whatever way? Just try and find a way I think
22:54
then. And in small doses.
22:56
In small doses, yeah, you're not going to fix everything in a
22:59
day, but keep going. And then I think the optimism
23:03
maybe, yeah, that's how you've. Yeah, you learn optimism.
23:06
And I've thought to myself recently that now that I'm in a,
23:11
in the position that I'm in now, so coming out of the well, I
23:16
feel like, OK, I'm starting to get ready to get busy.
23:19
And I know that if I start to get myself busy, then I will
23:24
start to just draw in all of those things that I know keep me
23:29
going, give me lots of energy, give me lots of reinforcement,
23:32
get out there and be a part of the community.
23:35
But I had never been in a position where I just was unable
23:41
to function, didn't care, didn't want to and had no concern about
23:46
that and just push back. But I've given myself time.
23:50
I've sat in it. I've been lucky to have great
23:54
support around me of people just checking in and and also people
23:59
nudging me. So yeah, Jordan, shout out to
24:02
Jordan who made me run too far away from the defibrillator.
24:06
I said the two things that will happen.
24:07
Either I'm going to die because we're too far away from the
24:11
defibrillator, or you're going to die because you keep telling
24:13
me to run. How do we find more Jordans?
24:16
Right. That's like, yeah, people are
24:20
struggling. What got your bed was your
24:21
friend. Yeah.
24:22
How? How can we find more Jordans?
24:25
Well, I'm sure he'll tell you that he's unique and you know,
24:28
you couldn't possibly find him. And he, you know, he's a great
24:31
example of a volunteer within R for R is someone that he.
24:34
Doesn't have the vest on but he went and got someone.
24:37
Got him. Connected and you know what it's
24:38
just not just me. He brings a group of people
24:40
together and connects them each week.
24:43
You know and that's a mining like a like another minor
24:46
community within a bigger community.
24:48
You know, that's really great because it's not just about like
24:51
doing the run, but it's having a couple of people that you have
24:54
dinner with after. And that's what I love, that
24:57
social connection and that most people don't know anything else
25:02
about me. And I can just come and talk to
25:04
people and talk socially. And a lot of my relationships
25:09
have a professional link. And so to be out of just come
25:12
and sit around a table and talk about crap is awesome.
25:18
So yeah, I think that when you've got those people and then
25:23
you put something like a for a together, they actually create
25:28
themselves, they build that space because that's who they
25:31
are. But you are creating a community
25:33
that enables people to do that. And that's what we need more of
25:36
is how do we then? And that's why I've loved the
25:39
offshoots now that are coming out of running for resilience,
25:43
in writing for resilience. And I just joined one that was
25:46
triathlon. I said I'm a pre beginner, well
25:49
before any triathlon. Not planning on doing a
25:52
triathlon but I do love to swim so I'd like to come.
25:55
Is there a triathlon presenting? It only just started, right?
25:58
I didn't know so. Yeah, I'm.
26:00
So it's great. I see like it's great the.
26:02
Busking for resonance? Oh, there could be busking.
26:05
No, on singing. I did get an email or somebody
26:08
introduced me to someone who wanted to do a singing for
26:10
resonance with the Dock, and we'd already know some Opera
26:13
Dawn from Yeah Who's. He's national anthem at the peak
26:18
of Origin 2000. 8 and Wallaby, he's sung, yeah, he's sung like
26:21
the advances strife here in the Origin before Wallabies Test
26:25
ended a big AFL game. So he's keen to do some singing
26:28
as well. So what?
26:30
Listen to this space. Yeah, yeah.
26:31
We might have the Alpha R choir that would be.
26:34
Great. Well it was awesome and we had
26:35
the Rugby choir down before the Mummy's Lions game.
26:38
It was awesome. All the old Pommy fan, Lions,
26:40
rugby fans all got into it singing Bread of Heaven and.
26:42
Exactly. We've gotta bring it back.
26:44
We can't just leave all the singing to Tay.
26:46
Tay, Yeah. Somebody else needs to go.
26:48
She's. She's she's good, but we'll give
26:50
the rest of us a crack. Yeah, look and it.
26:52
Is. But what is it about singing?
26:54
Is it just something about being in unison with the people that
26:57
the group singing? Well, obviously I am a Peacock,
27:01
so I just like to sing myself. I think that they're.
27:05
Group singing. Yeah.
27:06
So if we talk about group singing, I think that it is
27:09
about the calmingness of it in that you're standing next to
27:15
someone that you're listening to and connecting with just through
27:19
vocal. So for me, it makes me feel good
27:23
to sing and to hear the music and to connect with the music
27:27
and particularly the lyrics. Like I love the lyrics of of
27:30
any. So it's a story again, but
27:32
there's something when you're standing next to someone who
27:36
you're then singing with and then that then keeps getting
27:40
added and added. So you're you just, it's just a
27:45
sense of calm that that brings you together.
27:48
And then just the enjoyment of belting out a tune.
27:53
And that's why I say, you know, Céline Dion, Shania Twain, I
27:57
would sing them from the time I left the hospital to my driveway
28:00
and I'd give myself that space to go.
28:02
I'm going to sing. I'm going to sing loudly.
28:05
I don't care if I hit notes or not.
28:07
And I'm going to cry at the same time.
28:09
And I probably shouldn't be driving, but I am.
28:11
And then I'll get to my home and I'll park in the driveway and
28:15
I'll take a breath and I'll have given myself time to express an
28:21
emotion. Music is so powerful in the way
28:25
that you don't even have to sing, and it draws something
28:29
from you can feel it. I think through your bones.
28:32
I, I think, and this will, this will lead us into the end.
28:35
And I'm, I'm taking a bit of a, a punt here.
28:38
I think it comes from you're creating something with somebody
28:42
else and it's an experience. And if that creating something
28:46
is built on something else where like a song with lyrics, I'm a
28:50
country fan. When Luke Combs and Jelly Roll
28:53
sing, right, there's a lot of meaning behind that lyrics.
28:55
And you can, I don't know, there's just something that you
28:57
can feel, yes. And if you're layering that
29:00
underneath and then sharing it with others, something magic
29:04
happens and I don't know what it is.
29:06
But before we get into this, just quickly, who should we have
29:10
on the after our podcast? Well, maybe you need to get
29:13
Jordan on. Maybe we need to get Jordan.
29:16
Where did he begin? Because it, you know, and I
29:18
think why did he start and why does he actually care about
29:25
bringing a group of people together each week?
29:27
And how do we get more Jordans? Yeah.
29:29
How could someone else do it? Because like we said, you learn
29:32
from lived experience and someone else hears it and goes,
29:35
actually it's not as hard as I thought, I'll just do that.
29:38
Jordan, if you're listening, we'll get you.
29:40
Heidi, how good are your eyes? Yeah.
29:42
Can you read that? Yeah, because back to creating.
29:44
I think you've done some poetry recently.
29:47
I have. And I think you should close the
29:50
episode off by reading one of your most.
29:53
Recent we opened the Brainy's painting.
29:54
Yeah, yeah. Close with OK Heidi's poetry.
29:59
I am enough because I breathe, because my heart beats steadily.
30:04
The weight of the world still brings doubt, but I'll find a
30:06
way to figure it out. I'm enough because I try, even
30:10
when I falter, even when I cry. Each stumble and fall, each
30:15
lesson learned shows a strength that cannot be earned.
30:19
I'm enough because I care, because I show up, because I
30:22
dare to love, to dream, to hope, to give, to embrace this messy
30:27
life I live. I'm enough because I am whole,
30:31
not in perfection, but in soul, with flows and scars.
30:36
And I stand and see that all I need is here in me.
30:41
I am enough, and so are you. In all you are and all you do.
30:47
You are enough. It's clear and true.
30:51
The same bright light resides in you.
30:54
Audi, thank you very much. Thank you.
30:58
Thanks for having me.