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11 - Gulliver's Travels - Jonathan Swift · Adventure Books Collection

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Chapter three, the author sent for to court. The Queen buys him of
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his master, the Farmer, and presents him to the King. He disputes
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with his Majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author.
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He is in high favor with the Queen. He stands up for the honor
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of his own country. He quarrels with the Queen's dwarf. The frequent labors
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I underwent every day made in a few weeks a very considerable change in my
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health. The more my master got by me, the more insatiable he grew.
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I had quite lost my stomach and was almost reduced to a skeleton.
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The Farmer observed it, and, concluding I must soon die, resolved to
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make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus
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reasoning and resolving with himself, a sadrall, or gentleman usher came from court,
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commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the Queen
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and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me,
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and reported strange things of my beauty, behavior, and good sense. Her
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Majesty and those who attended her were beyond measure Delighted with my demeanor, I
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fell on my knees and begged the honor of kissing her imperial foot. But
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this gracious princess held out a little finger towards me. After I was set
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on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put the
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tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some
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general questions about my country and my travels. When she answered as distinctly in
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as few words as I could, she asked whether I could be content to
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live at court. I bowed down to the board of the table and humbly
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answered that I was my master's slave, but if I were at my own
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disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her Majesty's service.
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So then she asked my master whether he was willing to sell me at a
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good price. He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was
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ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold,
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which were ordered him on the spot, each peace being about the bigness of
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eight hundred moidors, but allowing for the proportion of all things between that country
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and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so
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great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said
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to the Queen, since I was now her Majesty's most humble creature and vassal,
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I must beg the favor that Glumdalklitch, who had always tended me with
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so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might
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be admitted into her service and continued to be my nurse and instructor. Her
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Majesty agreed to my petition and easily got the farmer's consent, who was glad
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enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was
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not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell
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and saying he had left me in a good servant, to which I replied
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not a word, only making a slight bow. The Queen observed my coldness,
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and when the farm all was gone out of the apartment, asked me
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the reason I made bold to tell her Majesty that I owed no other obligation
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to my late master than his not dashing out to the brains of a poor,
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harmless creature found by chance in his fields, which obligation was amply recompensed
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by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom, and
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the price he had now sold me for that the life I had since led
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was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength, that my
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health was much impaired by the continual druggery of entertaining the rabble every hour of
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the day, And that if my master had not thought my life in danger,
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her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I
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was, out of all fear of being ill treated, under the protection of
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so great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of
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the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation,
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so I hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I
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had already found my spirits revive by the influence of her most august presence.
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This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation.
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The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof
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I learned some phrases from Glumdalklitch while she was carrying me to court. The
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Queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was however, surprised
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at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal. She took
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me in her own hand and carried me to the King, who was then
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retired to his cabinet. His Majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere
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countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked the Queen,
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after a cold manner, how long it was, and she grew fond of
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Blocknuk, for such it seems. He took me to be as I lay
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upon my breast on her Majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has
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an infinite deal of wit and humor, set me gently on my feet upon
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the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his Majesty an account of myself,
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which I did in a very few words, and Glandalklitch, who attended at
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the cabin at door and could not endure I should be out of sight,
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being admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at her father's house.
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The King, although he be as learned person as any in his dominions,
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had been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics. Yet,
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when he observed my shape exactly and saw me walk erect before I began
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to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clockwork, which is in
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that country, arrived to a very great perfection contrived by some ingenious artist.
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He heard my voice and found what I delivered to be regular and rational.
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He could not conceal his astonishment. He was, by no means satisfied with
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the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but
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thought it a story concerted between Gondalklitch and her father, who had taught me
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a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this
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imagination, he put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers,
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no otherwise defective than by a foreign accent and an imperfect knowledge in the
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language, with some rustic phrases, which I had learned at the farmer's house,
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and did not suit the polite style of a court. His Majesty sent
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for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly waiting. According to
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the custom in that country, these gentlemen, after they had a while examined
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my shape with much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all
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agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature,
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because I was not framed with the capacity of preserving my life, either by
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swiftness or climbing of trees or dig in holes in the earth. They observed
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by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a
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carnivorous animal. Yet most quadrupeds, being an overmatch for me, and fielled
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mice, with some others too nimble. They could not imagine how I should
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be able to support myself unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which
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they offered by my learned arguments to insive that I could not possibly do.
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One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo or abortive
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berth, but this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my
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limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several years,
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as it was manifest from my beard the stumps were of they plainly discovered through
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a magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be at a war because
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my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison. For the Queen's favorite dwarf,
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the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After
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much debate, they concluded unanimously that I was only well plum scalcaf, which
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is interpreted literally Lasser's naturae, a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of
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Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult cases, whereby the
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followers of Aristotle endeavored in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful
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solution of all difficulties to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge. After this decisive
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conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I applied myself
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to the King and assured his Majesty that I came from a country which abounded
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with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature, where the
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animals, tree and houses were all in proportion, and where by consequence I
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might be able to defend myself and to find sustenance as any of His Majesty's
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subjects could do here, which I took for a full answer. To those
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gentlemen's arguments to this, they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying
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that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The King,
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who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the
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farmer, who, by good fortune was not yet gone out of town.
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Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the
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young girl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly
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be true. He desired the Queen to order that a particular care should be
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taken of me, and was of opinion that glumdal Klitch should still continue in
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her office of tending me, because he obser we had a great affection for
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each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court. She had
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a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to
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dress her, and two other servants for menial offices. But the care of
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me was wholly appointed to herself. The Queen commanded her own cabinet maker to
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contrive a box that might serve me for a bedchamber, after the model that
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glumdale Clitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist,
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and, according to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a
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wooden chamber of sixteen feet square and twelve feet high, with sash windows,
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a door and two closets like a London bedchamber. The board that made the
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ceiling was to be lifted up and down by two hinges to put in a
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bed ready furnished by her Majesty's upholsterer, which Glumdale Clitch took out every day
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to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at
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night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was
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famous for little curiosities undertook to make me two chairs with backs and frames of
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a substance knot unlike Ivory, and two tables with a cabinet to put my
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things in. The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the
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floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who
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carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in
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a coach. I desired a lock for my door to prevent rats and mice
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from coming in. The smith after several attempts made the smallest that ever was
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seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of the
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gentleman's house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in my
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pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalklitch might lose it. The Queen likewise ordered
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the thinnest silks that could be gotten to make me clothes not much thicker than
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an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were,
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after the fashion of the Kingdom, partly resembling the Persian and partly the
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Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit. The Queen became so
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fond of my company that she could not dine without me. I had a
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table placed upon the same at which her Majesty ate just as her left elbow,
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and a chair to sit on. Klumdalglitch stood on a stool on the
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floor near my table to assist and take care of me. I had an
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entire set of silver dishes and plates and other necessaries, which, in proportion
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to those of the Queen were not much bigger than what I have seen in
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a London toy shop for the furniture of a baby house. These my nurse
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kept in her pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as
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I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the Queen
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but the two Princesses Royal, the eldest sixteen years and the younger, at
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that time thirteen and a month. Her Majesty used to put a bit of
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meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved myself, and
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her diversion was to see me eat in miniature for the Queen, who had,
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indeed but a weak's stomach, took up at one mouthful as much as
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a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for
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some time a very nauseous sight. She would crunch the wings of a lark,
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bones and all between her teeth, although it were nine times as large
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as that of a full grown turkey, and put a bit of bread into
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her mouth as big as two twelvepenny loaves. She drank out of a golden
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cup above a hogshead at her draft. Her knives were twice as long as
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a scythe set straight upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other
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instruments were all in the same proportion. I remember when Glelumdalklitch carried me out
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of curiosity to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a
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do some of these enormous knives and forks were lifted up together. I thought
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I had never till then behold so terrible a sight. It is the custom
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that every Wednesday, which as I have observed, is their sabbath, the
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King and Queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dined together in
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the apartment of his Majesty, to whom I now became a great favorite.
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And at these times my little chair and table were placed at his left hand.
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Before one of the salt sellers. This Prince took a pleasure in conversing
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with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and
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learning of Europe, wherein I gave him the best account I was able.
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His apprehension was so clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made
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very wise reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess that after
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I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country,
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of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion
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and parties in the state, the prejudices of his education prevailed so far that
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he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand, and stroke me
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gently with the other. After a hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether
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I was a Whig or Tory. Then, turning to his first minister,
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who waited behind him with the white staff near as tall as the main mast
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of the royal Sovereign, he observed how contemptible a thing was human grandeur,
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which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I. And yet said he,
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I dare engage. These creatures have their titles and distinctions of honor.
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They contrived little nests and burrows that they call houses and cities. They make
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a figure in dress and equipage. They love, they fight, they dispute,
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they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on, while my
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color came and went several times with indignation to hear our noble country, the
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mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe,
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the seat of virtue, piety, honor, and truth, the pride
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and envy of the world so contemptuously treated. But as I was not in
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a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether
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I was injured or no. For after having been accustomed several months to the
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sight and converse of these people, and observed every object upon which I cast
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mine eyes to be a proportional magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived
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from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off that if I had then
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beheld a company of English laws and ladies, in their finery and birthday clothes,
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acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting and bowing and
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pratting. To say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh
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as much at them as the King and his grandees did it me. Neither,
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indeed, could I forbear smiling at myself when the Queen used to place
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me upon her hand towards a looking glass by which both our persons appeared before
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me in full view. And there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison,
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so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual
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size. Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the Queen's dwarf, who,
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being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country. For I
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verily think he was not full thirty feet high, became so insolent at seeing
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a creature so much beneath him, that he would always effect to swagger and
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look big as he passed by me in the Queen's ante chamber while I was
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standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court. And
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he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness, against which
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I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle,
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and such repartees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day
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at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with something I had said
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to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of Her Majesty's chair,
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he took me up by the middle as I was sitting down, not thinking
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any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream,
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and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and
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ears, and if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have
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gone very hard with me, For glumdalklitch in that instant happened to be at
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the other end of the room, and the Queen was in such affright that
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she wanted presence of mind to assist me, but my little nurse ran to
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my relief and took me out. After I had swallowed above a quart of
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cream. I was put to bed. However, I received no other damage
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than the loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The
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dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a further punishment, forced to drink up
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the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me. Neither was he ever
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restored to favor, for soon after the Queen bestowed him on a lady of
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high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great
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satisfaction, for I could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might
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have carried his resentment. He had before served me a skirvy trick, which
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sent the Queen a laughing although at the same time she was heartily vexed and
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would have immediately cashiered him if I had not been so generous as to indecede
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her majesty. Had taken a marrow bone upon her plate, and after knocking
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out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect as it stood
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before. The dwarf, watching his opportunity while glumdal Klitch was gone to the
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sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me at
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meals, took me up in both hands, and, squeezing my leg together,
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wedged the me to the marrowbone above my waist, where I stuck for
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some time and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a
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minute before anyone knew what was become of me, for I thought it below
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me to cry out. But as princes seldom get their meat hot, my
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legs were not scolded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition.
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The dwarf at my entreaty, had no other punishment than the sound whipping.
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I was frequently rallied by the Queen upon account of my fearfulness, and she
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used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great a cowards
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as myself. The occasion was this, The kingdom is much pestered with flies
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in summer, and these odious insects, each of them as big as a
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dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner with their
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continual humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals
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and leave their loaths some excrement or spawn behind which to me was very visible,
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though not the natives of that country, whose large objects were not so
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acute as mine. In viewing smaller objects, sometimes they would fix upon my
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nose or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling very offensively,
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and I could easily trace that vicious matter which our naturalists tell us enable
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those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much
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ado to defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when
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they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to
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catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us,
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and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose to frighten me
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and divert the Queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my
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knife as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.
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I remember one morning when glumdal Klitch had set me in a box upon a
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window, as she usually did in fair days, to give me air,
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for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out
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of the window, as we do with cages in England. After I had
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lifted up one of my sashes and sat down at my table to eat a
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piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the
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smell, came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as
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many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake and carried it piecemeal away.
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Others flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and
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put them in the utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the
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courage to rise and draw my hanger and attack them in the air. I
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despatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shut
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my window. These insects were as large as partridges. I took out their
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stings, found them an inch and a half long and as sharp as needles.
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I carefully preserved them all, and, having since shown them with some
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other curiosities in several parts of Europe, upon my return to England, I
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gave three of them to Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.
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End of Chapter three, Part two