Latest / God + Mental Health Podcast / Feeling Far from God? How Intimacy Reestablishes Connection and Starts the Healing

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Feeling Far from God? How Intimacy Reestablishes Connection and Starts the Healing · God + Mental Health Podcast

• 0:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome back to the Guide Mental Health podcast.
• 0:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: My name is Roslyn and I am so excited to be back in front of the microphone with you this week.
• 0:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: Y'all, I am very excited about this episode.
• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: This has been a conversation that has been brewing in my heart for a really long time.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you've been following me or listening to my podcast for a long time, you know I am big about intimacy with the Lord.
• 0:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so today we're gonna talk a little bit about how intimacy, real establishes connection.
• 0:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I haven't been having a lot of conversations with clients around feeling very confused about their connection with God.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: They feel sometimes often disconnected from him.
• 0:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I practically want to talk today about what that looks like.
• 0:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I also want to talk a little bit today how God draws us close to him.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have been doing a really deep dive of disarmament, and it is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit that he gives to his children, and a lot of, I would say, can acts for disarmament, but we don't know that we can act for it.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what I have been, as I've been studying this, I have really come to understand the ways in which God prompts us, let's us know he's present or,
• 1:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: makes us aware of something, and so I really want to also go and dip about how God draws us to, and then I really want to go into why intimacy aids and healing, especially if we are in therapy or we're dealing with trauma or we have dealt with different levels of pain throughout our life, and why intimacy or this intimate connection with God aids in that.
• 1:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then I'm going to close out the episode with some very practical things that you can do.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you are someone that finds that you struggle with understanding or connection with God, or you feel very distant from him, because this happens, unfortunately, throughout our walk with the Lord.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: We go through seasons where we can feel very disconnected.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm hoping that I can paint a picture for you about how you can re-establish that connection with the Lord through your intimate relationship with them.
• 1:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And intimacy I'm going to explain is not this cookie-coded way of intimacy, like you have to carve out an hour of quiet time.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Intimacy can live very different based on the season you're in.
• 2:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I want to personalize it to you for you to be able to feel like whatever intimacy looks like between you and the Lord in this season, you can re-establish it.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm also gonna close the episode out with a ton of scripture that almost aids in what I'm saying.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: I always will tell you all do not take what I say as law, but test it with scripture.
• 2:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna provide you with a ton of scripture at the end.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: They will also be in the show notes that you can reference to in your own personal time, but also things that you can almost meditate on as you are going throughout your day.
• 2:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that you can just be a little bit more aware of the ways in which God draws us to him and wants us close to him.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, so why did this conversation even come up?
• 2:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what a pattern that I end up seeing that comes up often is we question how to hear guys voice, which I think is something that a lot of believers who are even been walking with God for a long time can find themselves struggling with understanding.
• 3:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Am I hearing God's voice or is this mean?
• 3:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: comparison within your relationship with the Lord, meaning you can often look on social media or you may follow people who you find to be very strong in the faith and compare your relationship with God to them and you feel as though God is talking to them more than he's talking to me or the Lord is pointing to them more than he's pointing to me or their life seems really good so I must not be doing enough and that often can be wrapped up in performance.
• 3:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what ends up happening is we start to feel very insecure in our relationship with God where it becomes a thing where we feel like we have to perform or we have or we're not doing enough or we often feel like we are struggling with areas in our heart around doing more or doing enough.
• 3:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: How this can play a lot within our relationship with him as we are trying to heal is we feel like we're just never getting it.
• 4:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I have really come to realize, especially as I'm talking to clients around this is this is wrapped in shame and almost a just understanding what's in your relationship with God.
• 4:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: What season are you in life that has made you feel like you feel disconnected from him?
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it can be comparison.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it can be, we're avoiding God.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like we don't wanna talk to him about certain things.
• 4:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: We feel very resentful towards him about stuff.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: We may have lost touch in our quiet time.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so we just have been busy.
• 4:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so in that busyness, there is a loss and maybe in communication and connection.
• 4:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so we just feel this distance from him.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I wanna talk,
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: first and foremost about what this disconnection can look like and feel like because if I can offer you some language then maybe it will shed light on what you might be experiencing and we can talk about how to practically get back to that point.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So what this disconnection look like and what does it feel like?
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I also think that we all have the Holy Spirit.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: So there is a prompting a lot of times that the Holy Spirit will give us to
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: inform us that we are disconnected, or we feel some distance between us and God, but the Lord is never far away.
• 5:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like I want to name like God is always present.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so with this understanding that he's always present, how do we still feel so disconnected, or still feel so distant from him?
• 5:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I like to give this example to Explain, if you have a best friend, or you went to high school and had really great relationships with friends growing.
• 5:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this friend moves three or four states
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: and over time of maybe not seeing them often or not talking to them as often, you naturally feel a progressive disconnection.
• 5:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't mean that y'all aren't necessarily friends anymore, like it hasn't been said, like we're not friends, but because there is a distance in intimacy and maybe connection or maybe time together, there is a very apparent distance.
• 5:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is what that looks like.
• 5:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: and this can be caused by a multitude of reasons I could give you a long laundry list so I won't probably be able to go through all of them today but I will say to you that distance doesn't change the title of the relationship but that distance does create a feeling of loneliness maybe some
• 6:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: pullback, maybe the Lord isn't really making it known to me that he's here.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: So maybe he isn't here.
• 6:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it just creates a lot of space for us to just pull the way from him.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I've experienced as many times in my relationship with God.
• 6:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, so many times to the points where I've even been like, God, are you even hearing me talk to you?
• 6:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you even recognize them?
• 6:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm saying something to you.
• 6:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this can be a very vulnerable place that can be played on by the enemy, not to say you are doing something wrong, but this is does create a lot of holes in our affirmation and or even validation of the relationship.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what could this be caused by, it can be caused by a bunch of things, but I'm going to give you what it feels like first.
• 6:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So sometimes this connection can feel like confusion and double mindedness, meaning we are confused on what we're doing in our relationship, we feel like we're going back and forth from the decisions.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we feel unsettled, we feel like we don't have clarity on what's happening.
• 7:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Intrusive thoughts or mental noise, so a lot of intrusive thinking, a lot of critical thinking, critical talk to yourself.
• 7:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you are someone who is naturally very hard on yourself, this is exacerbated, meaning it is even more elevated, feeling far from God, even when you're not.
• 7:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: So we feel very distant from the Lord.
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And one of the key things that can impact intimacy with God is shame, and this is when we feel within ourselves just a desire to hide.
• 7:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Again, we feel confused, like where is God at, where does he not feel like he's talking to me?
• 7:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then sometimes it can be even underlying disappointment.
• 7:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you might have gone through a very challenging season, or you might be in a challenging season, and you feel very disappointed by the Lord that this is happening, and you just feel like I don't wanna talk to God about it.
• 8:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so there can also be pain.
• 8:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Pain can be a thing that can create a lot of distance.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think that we, I say this all the time to my clients, we don't often realize that the Holy Spirit's job is part of his job is to be a comforter because we look at him as this powerful being who is inside of us who reveals things to us, who convicts us, but one of the things that Jesus described the Holy Spirit as was a comforter.
• 8:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so when we're experiencing pain, one of the practical tips I give the give my clients is to ask the Holy Spirit to comfort you, or what ways Holy Spirit can you show me that you're comforting me in this season?
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Can you send someone to say something to me?
• 8:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so using those, knowing those nuances of the way which God's character is and how he is can help us understand that even when we're experiencing these things, what can we do?
• 8:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I want to talk about the feeling of performance of what we can, what we feel like we can do to earn God's love or care for us.
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: I perform as a tricky because the doorway in which it can enter in is through comparison, needing validation,
• 9:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: feeling like you're at work or be for the Lord Jesus.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You feel like I need to be doing all these things for guys like Martha and Mary you're just busy.
• 9:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: I need to be doing these things but also not realizing that there is an innate part of us that God put inside of us that wants his presence and needs that respite of his presence.
• 9:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm going to read a couple of scriptures that talk a little bit about performance.
• 9:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: So Ephesians 2, 8 through 9 says, God saves you by His grace and you believed.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So when you believed in God, you were saved by grace.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You cannot take credit for this.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is a gift from God.
• 9:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so no one can boast about it.
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: Performance is rooted in the belief that we have to earn what we have already be free freely given.
• 9:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: This virus cuts at the root.
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: So essentially, the whole point of not being able to earn your salvation is so you can boast about it.
• 9:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because what ends up happening is we become self righteous.
• 10:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've done all these things.
• 10:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have done so much good for the Lord.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing, we're not entitled to any of this.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't walk around feeling entitled because you have done these things or you have in a lie at 15-day straight.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And not to say like these, we should hold a badge of honor for the sins we haven't done.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: But part of the reason Jesus came was to expose the fact that we cannot actually hold up to what God standard is, which is why we needed a sacrifice.
• 10:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: so that we can be a tone for the things that we have done, which is a whole not the conversation one other day, because I would have talked to you about a tone man and with the reason for the law and all of those things, but we're gonna keep it cute today.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: Romans 8, 38 through 39 says, there's nothing that can separate us from the love of God.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And Paul is talking about in the scripture that because nothing can separate us from our love of God, it doesn't matter what you do, none of it is gonna make God not love you.
• 10:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I know that is very hard for a lot of us to think because we as humans are very cause of the fact, we say, if I do this will happen, if I do this, that will happen.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: And because we have that conditioning, we can often feel very challenged when we experience pain and we're like, I haven't done anything wrong.
• 11:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: or I've done all these things, then that must mean God doesn't love me.
• 11:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it's like, the fact that you do these things doesn't mean the relationship with the Lord is broken.
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're often what the enemy weaponizes against you to make you feel like you're not good enough.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if the enemy can make you feel ashamed, you're going to hide from God.
• 11:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: If we go back to Genesis in Genesis when Adam and Eve ate from the tree, the thing that they ended up doing was they created coverings for themselves and they hid from God.
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: God came pursuing them and looking for them.
• 11:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: He acts at them where are you, and Adam was hiding.
• 11:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the Lord acts him at that point, who told you were naked?
• 11:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who told you that you weren't, that you weren't supposed to expose yourself to me?
• 11:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Who told you that you didn't need to show me this?
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that it's a model if we take that, it's just a metaphor of who you being exposed before God is the point.
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, and so I think when it comes to intimacy part of intimacy is being exposed and I'm going to go there for a second because if we think about sticks between a man and a woman husband and wife I'm just gonna put in that context part of it is being naked being fully exposed before someone
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so that exposure is very intimate.
• 12:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so part of us being connected to the Lord is this intimacy with Him and might be exposure of who we are.
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: As this can create feelings of, and I will just name like, in my own walk with God, I have felt very frustrated of the amount of exposure I've had to reveal to him.
• 12:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Even more recently, I have just felt like God, I am really jacked up like even,
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Though I feel connected to you, I feel like in this season with God, I have a good routine of time with him, which so I feel more intimate with him, I feel more connected to him.
• 12:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I have felt very frustrated recently about the amount of things I Holy Spirit is revealing to me that I'm just messed up in.
• 13:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I think is different this time as I've matured in my faith walk is it's not making me run from the Lord.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: And in times where I have felt very challenged with that, I will tell God, like, I'm very frustrated.
• 13:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like you haven't revealed this to me before.
• 13:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, why is this not coming up?
• 13:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so for you, what underlying feelings of frustration or resentment match you have towards God?
• 13:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think we need to talk about that, because sometimes we try to be so cute and fancy, with God that we don't really like to crash out.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think you need to crash out.
• 13:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you are not familiar with that time crash out, basically means that you just need to stay it for what it is.
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm gonna read a couple of songs because David used to crash out with God.
• 13:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think I love that about him.
• 13:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you are not familiar with that time, please look it up on TikTok or Google and just read what crash out means.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not really up to our next bite of girl.
• 13:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: But Psalms 13, one through two says, Oh Lord, how long will you forgive me forever?
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: How long will you look the other way?
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: How long is I struggle with anguish in my soul with sorrow in my heart?
• 14:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So David did address it up.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: He essentially went straight to God with the accusation and like, why are you forgetting about me?
• 14:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: This gives you permission to be open.
• 14:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I think sometimes we just don't want to be open because we're afraid.
• 14:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 22 verse 1 says, my God, why have you abandon me?
• 14:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: Why are you so far away when I grown for help?
• 14:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I'm priming this to Nessus to say, you trying to keep it cute and copesthetic and perfect doesn't I'm just going to say I don't think it impresses God.
• 14:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I think he is very apparent aware that you feel some type of way towards him, but you're not saying it.
• 14:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so the angry songs can feel intense and graphic, but they are directed at God.
• 14:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: He is like David Bowley told God how disappointing he was.
• 14:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: and when he felt like he was turning his back on him or he was acting too slowly.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: But while these thoughts and feelings were like sincerely expressed David, as he was even saying these, he followed those feelings with the renewed confidence and who got was.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Towards the end of many of these songs, I just named.
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: He came back to but Lord, I know that you're faithful.
• 15:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: So in this last point, I will say, some disconnection also can be seen that it's unrepentant whether or not we know it or we have what it.
• 15:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some of it can be our own flesh being frustrated with the season we're in, and so we end up just avoiding the Lord, and we end up avoiding him altogether.
• 15:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: And we end up avoiding addressing things, and that will naturally create distance.
• 15:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's almost if you have a frustration with the friend or your spouse, or someone that's your job, and you don't want to talk about it with them, so you just ignore them, or avoid the conversation all together, or
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you get into an argument and you'll have a discussion and then you swoop it under the rug But you still feel underlying frustration with them.
• 15:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is what that looks like in your relationship with God.
• 15:45
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the same thing And so in what ways does God draw us close to him?
• 15:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: One way that I think for me that the Lord draws me to him is I constantly feel this invitation to get before him
• 15:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It almost is guy uses a lot of longing and restlessness to get my attention and even sometimes pain and what I will describe it to my clients is it is a thirst and a hunger you cannot quench or feel.
• 16:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter how much you eat.
• 16:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter how much you drink and when I say drink I'm not just necessary to time out alcohol but like water like sleep like pulling away.
• 16:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't matter.
• 16:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is a guy created us.
• 16:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: too long for him.
• 16:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: He created us to want to be close to him.
• 16:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: And what I will say, it feels like someone is pulling a string on the back of your back to invite you.
• 16:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so Psalm 27, 8 says, my heart says of you, seek his face.
• 16:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your face Lord, I will seek.
• 16:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: The seeking itself is God and His sheep.
• 16:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: Jesus said in John 15 that he said, you didn't seek for me.
• 16:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I saw you essentially.
• 16:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he said, I call you friends.
• 16:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: He was basically saying that you're no longer servants, you are my friends, you are now connected to me intimately.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's a God doesn't necessarily shout to us, he whispers, he draws us.
• 17:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes he shout, sometimes it's very clear if you don't come to me, these are the things that are going to happen.
• 17:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes he sends it in a dream, sometimes he sends it through a person, sometimes he sends it through just, you can feel it in your body.
• 17:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You know what it feels like.
• 17:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: and it's a universal feeling I feel like we don't talk about enough.
• 17:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is that discernment kicking up around God saying, come to me, draw close to me.
• 17:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to spend time with you.
• 17:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to be with you.
• 17:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want you to be intimate with me.
• 17:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so why does intimacy aid and healing, especially if we're talking about trauma?
• 17:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because I think that the secret place or the presence with God becomes our place that is safe for our nervous system and it helps us be regulated.
• 17:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: There's a scripture in Psalms 91, one that says, we dwell in the shelter of the most high.
• 17:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like you, you can really feel a difference when you have spent time with God, especially when you do a consistently.
• 17:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Those of you that are in therapy, you may find that their future is safe place.
• 18:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: you long to get to your therapist, you long to get back to therapy because you are like, that is the place where I can be 100% myself and not try to perform or do anything and someone understands me.
• 18:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: That is what that place with God feels like.
• 18:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so connection with God helps us discern what's the enemy, what is a wound, or what the Lord is saying.
• 18:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will have clients I will ask, what do you feel like the Lord is saying to you in this season?
• 18:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: and many of them will think the Lord isn't really saying nothing but when we dissect it and we go into it a little bit deeper, they can recognize God is actually speaking very loud.
• 18:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's pruning me right now.
• 18:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: He is really making it very known that this relationship is not something I need to be in.
• 18:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm having a hard time giving it up.
• 18:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's making it known to me.
• 18:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just am I quiet enough to hear it.
• 18:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so intimacy looks different in different seasons.
• 18:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it is not an hour of quiet time opening your Bible.
• 18:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not.
• 18:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it is a reset.
• 18:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's a hard reset.
• 18:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so practically I want to talk about that really quickly.
• 19:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: What are some things you can take away from this episode?
• 19:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: To say, okay, Rosalind, I can recognize that I have a little bit of disconnection or I've been distant from the Lord.
• 19:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: What can I do?
• 19:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's just do a reset.
• 19:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take a day off work.
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Take a day of rest.
• 19:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Or schedule dedicated quiet time intentionally.
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this may be three to four hours of you just being quiet.
• 19:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Send the kids to somebody or you go on a walk or you go to a coffee shop and you just get quiet or just really find the space to be actively quiet.
• 19:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Going into number two active quiet time.
• 19:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is not passive.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: There are some weeks on Mondays where I'm off work.
• 19:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will go on a five mile walk.
• 19:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's typically about two hours, but I walk and I talk to God.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't have earphones in.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I listen sometimes I'm sitting voice and most of my friends, but I am really trying to be present and just being his presence.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes it's not always us asking the Lord for what you know we want.
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's listening to what he wants to say.
• 20:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: What does he want to say to you in this time?
• 20:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it is a fast.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes intimacy can be re-established from fasting because our flesh is so loud that we have to starve it and kill it in order for us to hear what's going on.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: One of the practices practically I give clients as morning pages.
• 20:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: And this is basically three pages of conscious thoughts.
• 20:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: They don't have to make sense.
• 20:23
  [SPEAKER_00]: They're not prompted.
• 20:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: It can be, I'm very frustrated with the laundry being in the laundry room for four days and I haven't folded it.
• 20:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like folding my laundry, my house isn't disarray.
• 20:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: My kids are really loud.
• 20:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's overstimulating.
• 20:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: I don't feel like I have any direction in my business.
• 20:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't feel like I'm getting along with my spouse.
• 20:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really don't know if I want to be in this relationship anymore.
• 20:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm very angry with the fact that my, I don't have any friends right now.
• 20:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like no one understands me.
• 20:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I'm pouring into everybody.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just a stream of conscious thoughts.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you do this, a practice, as a practice, what ends up happening is you get all of the things out of your head on paper.
• 20:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Another thing is time with someone who is safe and seasoned.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: maybe seasoned in the faith and I say say for a reason because sometimes people sometimes people don't know how to support us in certain seasons and so being able to find someone who feel safe and seasoned in their faith maybe can help reestablish connection.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: I have a couple people in my life where I'm when I'm having a hard time we got a coffee and I've been and I lit it out.
• 21:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes you need a good cry.
• 21:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: Give yourself the time to space to actually email and express what you're feeling and sometimes a good cry it doesn't matter how long can be very helpful.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: intentional time off.
• 21:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: So one of the things that I talk to clients about and I practice even for myself is a practice and a rhythm of time off.
• 21:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: So once every quarter I take a week off, I'm off every other Monday, every other Thursday, I'm off.
• 21:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so it's a time of intentional rip.
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it takes time to get to that point.
• 21:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm saying that to say to y'all, it's taken me
• 21:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: like intentional rest time and what works for me.
• 21:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I think it's just okay what can you start practicing and putting into practice?
• 22:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you just do it once every other month.
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: Soking music, soaking music, something I love, some people live worship music.
• 22:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love soaking music because I don't really like a lot of songs with words.
• 22:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like to sit in it and just let it do what it does.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then lastly, which is something you probably wouldn't expect is go back to what works.
• 22:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: If there was a season of time where something works for you don't overcomplicated and return to what connected you before, because while we think that intimacy is something that you're going to keep all the time, if you're in a relationship with somebody, you sometimes can become roommates with them.
• 22:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: My husband and I have gone through the roommate season, where we're just so busy, where we just feel like we're roommates, we're not connecting.
• 22:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it takes the intentionality for us to say, okay, we haven't connected really in a while.
• 22:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: How are you doing?
• 22:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: What's going on with you?
• 22:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: What do you feel like you're dealing with right now?
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not a bad thing that you have had disconnection.
• 22:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: Just get back into it.
• 22:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, some key verses I'm going to use to close John 15, 4 through 5.
• 23:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm just going to read through these really quickly.
• 23:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Remaining me and I will remain in you for a branch cannot produce fruit of it.
• 23:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: If it is separate from the vine, you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.
• 23:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I'm the vine and you are the branches.
• 23:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: Intimacy isn't optional.
• 23:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is the source.
• 23:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: You cut off from God, nothing works.
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: James 4 and 8 come close to God and God will come close to you.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: Wash your hands, you send a purifier for your loyalty is divided between God and the movement towards God is ours to initiate.
• 23:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: And he always to respond.
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: He's always response to that.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And most of the time, our initiation is often from an invitation to him.
• 23:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: That invitation is always there.
• 23:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so what I like about this scripture is that when we draw close to God, we have to purify ourselves.
• 23:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when it goes back to sometimes, it is unrepentance.
• 23:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: Psalm 46 and 10, be still and know that I'm God.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will be honored by every nation.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: I will be honored throughout the world.
• 23:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Stillness is not passive.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: It is an act of trust.
• 23:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's where knowing God happens.
• 23:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Isaiah 30 and 15, this is what the sovereign boy, the holy one of Israel says, only in returning to me and resting in me will you be saved, inquiredness and confidence is your strength.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: Strip in the kingdom does not come from striving.
• 24:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: It comes from returning and resting.
• 24:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: The perfect, this is perfect for somebody who needs healing.
• 24:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: I often think about the story of Elijah is in Kings where Elijah had defeated essentially the prophets and he was about to be killed by
• 24:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: and he actually wanted to die, and what the Lord did was so interesting to me, he sent an angel and made the angel feed Elijah and told him to sleep.
• 24:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: And so I love the scripture where it says, only in returning to me, and resting in me will you be saved.
• 24:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Rest often is the key point to establish connection.
• 24:47
  [SPEAKER_00]: because we are weary by the world.
• 24:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then last scripture, Matthew 6 and 6, but when you pray, go by yourself, go away, shut the door behind you and pray to your father and private, then your father who sees everything will reward you.
• 25:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: God just doesn't private time with him, he rewards it.
• 25:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: The secret place is where intimacy is built.
• 25:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The description for this episode will be in the show notes.
• 25:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you ever want to come back to it, take notes.
• 25:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Like, I think taking notes is always very helpful just to submit things in your mind.
• 25:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you really love this episode, please leave a review right the podcast.
• 25:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're listening on Spotify, leave a comment.
• 25:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love listening.
• 25:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I love reading them and I often respond back to them.
• 25:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: And then if you really like this episode, send me a DM on Instagram.
• 25:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: My Instagram is at my Renee ROS.
• 25:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: L-Y-N-R-E-N-E, and then if you really think you know someone who might just be in a season where they feel like they need connection with God and practically need to know what this looks like, share this episode with them, because I think sometimes we are healed more closely when we have language.
• 25:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, until next week, I will talk to y'all soon.
• 25:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: I really hope that you enjoyed this episode.