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Network Upgrade: How to Build Connections That Lead to Real Opportunities · Unspoken Career Truths

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  Welcome to unspoken career truths.
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  I'm Cara Wood. And I'm Lauren Levac Gilbert
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  and. We're here to be the Co workers
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  you can trust. All right, and welcome back to
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  Skills Month. I am both excited and nervous
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  for this topic. This is something I really,
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  really like and most people don't like.
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  So networking. Yay, everybody's favorite thing,
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  meeting people, learning about their career, growing the people
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  you know, inside the inside your own organization and outside of
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  it, just chatting and talking and meeting strangers.
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  Carl, what is your first reaction to that?
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  I I take a very like regimented approach usually when I'm
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  networking. I just want to know that I am
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  doing it right and I have an outcome.
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  So I have a lot of techniques that I've tried to make me feel
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  like it's going to be OK. It's not so scary to talk to
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  strangers. Amazing.
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  We're going to talk about that. But I think your reaction, Cara,
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  is probably the reaction that most people have about
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  networking. And I think when I say network
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  networking, a lot of people like either roll their eyes or
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  they're like, no, I don't want to talk about that or I don't
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  want to go to the networking event.
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  Don't ask me. And I.
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  I am an extrovert. Like, listen, I understand that.
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  And this is actually like kind of my job.
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  So it fits really well into kind of me and my personality.
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  But I also think there needs to be like a reframe and how people
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  think about networking. Because to your point, Cara, a
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  lot of people kind of approach networking as like, OK, I'm
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  going to go and I need to like get a favor or I need to ask
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  someone for something or I need to meet one person for this
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  exact reason. And I really kind of challenge
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  everyone to reframe it more is just like learning about people
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  and building relationships. It does not have to have an
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  outcome. It doesn't have to just be when
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  you're looking for a job and it should be something that you
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  focus on just throughout the year because you never know if
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  the person that you meet will have some sort of impact either
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  on your career or your work or you can learn something from
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  them. And I think that's fair.
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  And as soon as I start to think about just the simple act of
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  following up, asking for someone's contact information,
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  remembering something about them, I love that stuff too.
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  That's easy for me. That comes naturally to
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  introduce or connect or give someone a resource once we've
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  talked about something. But that I that networking night
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  is one of the like most satisfying nights to go,
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  actually, I can't make it. And so I do think there's
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  something about the pressure of it feeling like it's the
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  dedicated thing you're doing instead of the natural curiosity
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  that you have about just people you can meet in your industry.
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  Yeah, and just chat. It's funny you say that.
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  I was at a conference with like 15 other people and you got to
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  kind of pick your track and pick what you wanted to do.
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  And there was this like speed dating thing and I chose to go
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  to it and I was the only one. And I like went back to the
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  group and they're like, where'd you go?
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  I was like speed dating. And they were all like, why?
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  And I was like, well, I really like that.
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  Like you can. There's a lot of value in it.
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  And I personally have seen the value in my career.
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  Like every job that I've ever gotten was through a connection
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  that I've met. And again, this is my job.
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  So like I do it everyday. But like I met this woman at a
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  conference two years ago and she recently reached out to me and
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  she was like, hey, I'm doing this project and it perfectly
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  aligns like with my research and what I'm working on.
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  And we had this great conversation.
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  We're going to collaborate on something, but I literally had
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  dinner with her out of networking at a conference two
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  years ago, right? So like you never know how
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  that's going going to kind of come to fruition and how you're
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  going to get connected. But I have so many of those
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  examples. But Cara, I'm curious, where
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  have you seen in in your life your career, networking be
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  beneficial? Absolutely.
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  Well, I started my career in journalism, so you actually have
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  to be a great networker and question asker.
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  And I think for again, for the people like me who are listening
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  saying, Oh yeah, this is super uncomfortable.
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  I would never sign up for a speed dating at an event.
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  The journalism thing and the asking questions thing is a nice
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  shortcut to networking because it gives you a reason to talk to
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  someone. And if you're not a journalist,
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  you still have a reason to talk to someone.
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  Just ask them something about their lives.
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  Just last week, I, you know, was the person who was like, OK, no,
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  give me your e-mail address because you talked about, you
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  know, how well you sketch cats and now I need to know you.
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  So there's always different reasons to like, get to know
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  people. And you're so good at asking
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  questions, Cara, like you're, you're just so good at like
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  really kind of listening, actively listening and asking a
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  question and like being engaged. So I give you a huge kudos for
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  that. Well.
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  And I think that like for again, for people, there's a, there's a
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  couple of shortcuts when you are someone who's maybe a shy, you
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  want to make it not about you or you're worried about the
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  impression you're making on people.
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  And the way to get over that is to ask questions, to carry a
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  notebook, to write a couple things down just like a little
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  official. And suddenly you, you don't have
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  to make it about you and your personality.
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  And most people like talk about themselves, they're just ask
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  them questions and they'll keep going.
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  That's the best technique for networking.
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  I looked up some stats because I'm so I was so in love with
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  networking. 70 to 85% of jobs are filled through networking
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  rather than public job postings. That's been my definitely my
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  personal experience. And there's something called the
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  hidden job market, which is exactly what we're talking
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  about, where up to 80% of jobs are never even advertised.
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  And another study found that employees who actively network
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  inside their organization are 40% more likely to be promoted.
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  So we're going to talk a bit about the different elements of
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  networking. There's networking inside your
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  current company if you're at a company and also networking
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  externally. I'm so interested in that stat
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  and I never would have thought of that.
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  But you're absolutely right. There is so much value in you
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  spending time to get to know your Co workers.
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  You find out so much more about what's happening inside the
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  company and how decisions are made.
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  Like I love learning things about other departments and just
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  like making friends at a job. That's great.
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  And I'm curious actually about, I know you've been thinking a
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  lot about like the impact of AI and we've talked a lot about
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  hybrid workplaces. And so I'm sure we're getting to
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  this, but like how networking has changed with all of this
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  tech. So much.
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  I mean, I think in a lot of ways it's made networking easier, but
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  it's also made networking much harder.
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  And you need to be much more intentional about it in a hybrid
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  world because you can't just stop by someones desk and have a
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  chat or see them at the water cooler.
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  So you really kind of need to make time and space for it.
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  And that's one of the things that I definitely suggest.
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  Like I actually again, it's my job, but I have dedicated time
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  on my calendar to meet with people.
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  So if you're someone who wants to get better at networking,
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  hasn't really spent any time on networking or hasn't just wants
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  to kind of fit it into your schedule, like block 30 minutes
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  on your calendar and message a couple people on LinkedIn, you
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  have to be really intentional about putting it in.
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  Otherwise, it'll really kind of fall on the bottom of the list
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  if you want to really kind of build up your networking.
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  And networking can mean a lot of different things.
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  So it's a broad topic. You can go to conferences, you
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  can go to cocktail hours. And that's how a lot of people
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  think about like networking, like going to a networking event
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  or doing speed dating, But there's also sending people
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  emails, setting up Zoom chats or coffee chats.
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  There's so many different ways that you can infuse networking
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  into what you do today. And if you're someone who's just
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  starting out, I encourage you to like start small, right?
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  Like don't go for the 30 minute coffee chat, like send a
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  LinkedIn post or engage with someone's content on LinkedIn
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  and just write like a little comment.
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  Depending on what you want to get out of it.
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  If there's is anything that you want to get out of it, like a
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  job, you might need to do more things like coffee chats or
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  actually connections versus engaging out just LinkedIn.
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  Yeah, one of the last networking events I went to, which was
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  actually really great, was like here in Boston, the city runs
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  these startup meetings and it was super organized.
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  People had like name tags, so you knew a topic that you could
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  talk to. And there were a lot of people
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  there who were really early in their careers.
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  And it was really energizing to see like how many people had
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  just sort of shown up. So I think to your point around
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  tech making it easier and harder because a lot of people are
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  working remote sometime, I'm seeing, again anecdotally that
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  more people are showing up in person for like these little
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  opportunities now. So the event space has exploded
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  after COVID. I mean, people crave
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  interaction, people crave in person stuff because there's
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  there's serendipity in in person events, right?
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  Like I was just at a conference, excuse me.
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  And it was amazing because I, I literally was in the bathroom
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  washing my hands next to someone and I'm, we just kind of struck
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  up a conversation and she happened to be someone who I was
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  working on a project that was related to something I was
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  doing. And now we're fast friends,
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  right? Like you wouldn't have, you
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  wouldn't have those moments otherwise.
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  And so I think there's a beauty in the mix of both.
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  It's definitely much more on the advanced level of networking in
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  the in person events if you're not as comfortable, but it's
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  about finding ways, whether it's, hey, can you go into the
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  office for a day if you're fully remote or is there a conference
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  in there in your industry? Is there a group in your city
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  that you can go to? Do you want to start something?
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  I'm a big person about that. Like I love bringing people
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  together, but that's what I really enjoy.
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  So just finding places where you can infuse that kind of in
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  person element. Yeah.
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  And I think it honestly also really helps or makes it easier
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  if it's just something that you're passionate about.
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  So even if it's a networking event that is at your favorite
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  restaurant or like about your favorite food or the speaker is
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  a topic that you've just been really excited about, there's
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  different. Ways of networking weather
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  personally or professionally and from a professional setting.
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  I know I mentioned kind of the internal networking and the
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  external networking and I want to dig into that a bit because
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  like Carl, like you said, that internal piece is really
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  important. So in your current organization
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  today you might be in, I'm making this up a finance
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  function, but do you know someone in supply chain or R&D
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  or marketing or sales? And actually meeting people
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  inside your organization is really important for a couple of
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  different reasons. The first one being if you ever
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  want to move to a different function, super helpful to get
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  to know what they do or how they work.
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  If you are in a cross functional role, it's really important for
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  you to kind of build relationships with those people
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  so that they understand how you can work together and how you
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  can work on specific projects or campaigns or things like that.
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  And then from like a leadership development standpoint, a lot of
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  organizations kind of measure people on their like 360
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  interactions, so how they interact with all people at the
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  company, even outside of the people that you work with.
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  So it's super helpful, helpful to just get that broader
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  perspective and to ask people about specific feedback that
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  might not be in your day-to-day and might not be working with
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  you in the same way that your teammates are.
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  So it's another way to really kind of gather great feedback
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  and understand how you're interacting with people outside
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  your organization. Yeah, I, I totally agree.
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  I, like I said, I I hadn't occurred to me that that was
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  even part of networking, but you're absolutely right.
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  Again, there are lots of ways to do that.
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  There is just additional follow up you can do once you're in a
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  meeting with someone, following up with them, thanking them for
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  some insight, asking them a follow up question that's
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  related or not related to the project could be a great
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  conversation starter so that you're, you know, regularly just
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  getting a sense of that person and connecting and sharing and
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  getting to know what they care about.
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  This is one that I know is like a bold step for networking, but
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  like when we were an in office company, I used to pick someone
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  to sit with at lunch different than anybody I knew.
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  Or I'd go to a table and be like, hey, can I join?
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  And so I'd meet someone so that if you are an in office company,
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  that's a great way to do it. Or even just like meeting people
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  in the hallway as you're walking around and asking questions.
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  And like, I have an amazing story that I absolutely love the
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  security guard at the company I worked at, I became friends with
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  like because I worked kind of long hours.
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  And so I got figured out like we met each other.
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  I knew his name, I knew about his family, like, and we, we
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  just kind of built up a relationship and I worked there
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  for five years and two years ago he messaged me on LinkedIn.
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  He was like, I know work at the company that we worked at.
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  It was so great getting to know you like, this is what I do now.
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  It's been a really great experience.
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  And that was just such a beautiful moment for me because
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  I was like, I knew you in this capacity and now you're in a
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  different role. And like, it matters.
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  When you talk to people around you, whether they're on your
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  team, whether their staff who work in the building like
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  meeting people and understanding their stories and learning from
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  them, it really adds a lot of value.
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  Oh, yeah. I, well, I returned to a company
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  as a consultant after working there full time.
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  And as soon as I walk through the doors, the cleaning lady
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  that was still there was like super excited to see me again
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  because we had become friends. Same thing working late nights
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  and swapping stories. I knew although I knew all about
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  and I like, and I got to hear where her kids were at because
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  we've been talking about different like educational goals
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  for her kids. So it was really exciting.
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  And a lot of people don't think about as that as networking, but
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  it's, it is a way of networking and community building and
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  getting to know people. And like, it really matters to
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  people. It matters to know people's
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  names. It matters to connect with them
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  at different levels. And it's interesting, you learn
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  so much about people and, and it's can be a simple like asking
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  a question that can really kind of spark that conversation.
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  Yeah, You don't know what's going to be valuable.
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  I was going to say like from like knowing when a meeting that
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  had like great cupcakes was like over and the cupcakes were now
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  available in the kitchen was like one thing that the cleaning
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  lady could like glue me into. But then also it turned out we
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  actually often times would run into each other on the train on
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  the way in also because we only live about 3 stops away.
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  So then I learned new things about my like, like our shared
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  neighborhood because. Yeah.
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  So it matters. Pay attention to people around
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  you. So that's the internal side of
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  things. Then external is your industry,
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  right? So no matter what industry
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  you're in, there's probably an association or there's probably
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  a group that's connected to it or a series of conferences or
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  something. So how can you network
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  externally? How can you meet other people in
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  your industry? Send the messages on LinkedIn,
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  ask questions. The thing I really like to do is
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  when I meet someone new, at the end of the call I say, hey, is
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  there anyone else that you suggest I meet?
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  And then that's a way to to actually keep the networking
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  going so you don't have to go and find that next person.
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  You can ask the person that you're chatting with.
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  And then that's how you kind of go down this like beautiful
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  connection train of meeting all these amazing people.
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  Yes, I, yes, I again, just this week had the experience of going
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  to an event that was put on by an organization that was
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  connected to three other events from long ago.
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  And it all started with a chat that I had three years ago with
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  someone and like added their, their they were president of a
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  network like adding their community calendar to my own.
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  And now I'm like 4 more like associations in and like aware
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  of this entire calendar of events.
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  So. You have a beautiful,
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  complicated web of connections and people, and when you realize
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  that, it can be really powerful. So when you're on a networking
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  event, I always encourage people or even any situation.
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  The goal is to be curious. The goal is not to get something
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  out of it. And I think that also starts
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  with asking really good questions.
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  I have a couple questions that I really like to ask.
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  I know car you're going to have some amazing ones, so I'm going
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  to ask you after this. But what one that I really like
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  to ask is like, what are you most excited about right now?
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  Or what's a project that's like really important to you or one
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  that you're working on? Or what's a problem that you're
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  really trying to solve this year in your industry or with in your
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  job? And another one that I actually
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  asked someone today was what surprised you the most about
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  your career looking back at it? And it's just they're thoughtful
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  questions. And you can have like two or
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  three questions that you always ask the same question during
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  these coffee chats or when you're meeting people.
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  And it just opens up more of a conversation versus like a one
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  word answer. Actually, I'm going to surprise
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  you here because I have a different approach in person and
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  I there's studies that show this.
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  One of the fastest ways to build rapport with someone is to
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  complain. So it sounds crazy.
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  It sounds weird, but if there's something going on, like you
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  bond really fast to something someone when something goes
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  wrong, like you're waiting for a train or like the the buffet,
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  right, like something, Oh, this coffee, you know, like so it
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  sounds weird, but if you can find something that's not like
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  personal at all or you know, but that's something about weather.
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  Wait, look. Like the last time and now I've
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  like a good friend who she's turned to me.
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  We were both in line and she's like, I don't think this line
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  will take too long. And I realized immediately that
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  she was doing that thing that's like, OK, let's complain
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  together about waiting. And then we suddenly like we, we
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  that is the way we start the conversation.
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  So I think in person there are these little things again,
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  talking about food or like the space that and don't always have
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  to be negative if you're not a negative person or there's
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  nothing negative to say, but it does help weirdly, if it is
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  negative, it's a great way to like break and break ice in
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  virtual situations. I agree with you that curiosity
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  and I also think compliments, like meeting with something
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  you've noticed about someone that you are impressed by or
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  curious is a really great way to like naturally start a
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  conversation. So those are my 2GO TOS.
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  That was going to be actually my, my counter to your
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  complaining piece. I do the compliment piece.
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  So like I was at the conference last week and I saw this woman
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  who had a backpack and I was like, Oh my God, I love your
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  backpack. And then we became friends and
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  we hung out the whole conference.
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  Right? Like so, but I that's.
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  Right close commenting on someone's someone's appearance,
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  something that they've put thought into is definitely one.
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  And if someone's wearing like a team jacket or like any
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  indicator of where they're from or who they might support is
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  another great one. Like, yeah.
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  I always try to be intentional, like I really like color.
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  So whenever I see someone who has a colorful outfit, like Oh
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  my God, I love your outfit. Like, and I genuinely, I do
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  think that. So like I just say it and then
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  it just sparks a conversation and it can be like a great way
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  to meet people. So I think that the truth about
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  networking really is that it's, it's not a point in time.
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  It's something that you should really kind of like hone and
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  build and it you should have, you should practice it before
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  you need it. We're all going to have times in
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  our life when we need to lean on our network some more than
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  others. So it's really important to kind
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  of have that ongoing and not be like, Oh my God, I need it and
• 19:49
  then need to build it because it does take time and it especially
• 19:52
  takes practice if it's something that you don't really like or
• 19:56
  it's something that doesn't come natural to you.
• 19:57
  So I really encourage everyone to kind of think about how they
• 20:03
  can nurture relationships and be intentional.
• 20:06
  So whether that's, I actually have a list of people that I've
• 20:10
  met and I actually kind of set reminders if I haven't met with
• 20:13
  certain people that again, it's my job.
• 20:15
  So it's a little bit different. But what does that mean for you?
• 20:18
  Like can you put a networking reminder every month or at a
• 20:21
  specific time and set some goals for yourself to like reach out
• 20:25
  to a couple people on LinkedIn or have a couple of coffee
• 20:28
  chats, so. I'm someone who is organized, so
• 20:31
  organization helps me, but whatever that is that you can
• 20:34
  kind of put on your schedule or intentionally kind of set a goal
• 20:39
  is really helpful. And I don't know, Cara, if you
• 20:41
  have any things that you do to kind of keep a top of mind.
• 20:44
  This whole entire conversation, like I said at the start, I was
• 20:47
  like, oh, networking. Lauren's the expert and I think.
• 20:50
  You're a very good guy. Well, my take away from this is
• 20:54
  that everybody like the style that comes naturally to you.
• 20:58
  So for me there is something about passing on resources or
• 21:02
  introducing, oh, I know someone else that like you might be
• 21:05
  interested in meeting or I have a recommendation for you.
• 21:09
  Those are sort of my natural ways that I socialize.
• 21:12
  And so I find that that is the best way that I also network and
• 21:17
  I'm not necessarily someone who puts it on the calendar.
• 21:20
  What I do though is when I have an important, the connection in
• 21:24
  my life, I often say like, all right, you know, going to follow
• 21:27
  up with you quarterly or something like that so that
• 21:30
  we're both aware of it and then make it really easy for them to
• 21:33
  say yes and get together with you.
• 21:36
  But I think you hit on a really important part, Kara, and it
• 21:38
  needs to be genuine to you. Like it's going to feel forced
• 21:43
  and it's going to feel in genuine If it's not your style
• 21:46
  or not your way of communicating with people are interacting.
• 21:50
  All these tips. We sure you don't have to do all
• 21:51
  of them, but pick something that is genuine and unique to you and
• 21:56
  your style and your personality and your comfort level.
• 21:59
  And then it will feel real and it won't feel forced.
• 22:02
  But if you're trying to retrofit like an extra hearted person
• 22:06
  personality, I'm someone who's not extroverted like me who
• 22:08
  would go to speed dating. And like, if you're that's not
• 22:10
  your thing, like don't force yourself to do that.
• 22:12
  Find something that works for you because people also know
• 22:15
  when you're not being genuine and then that makes the whole
• 22:18
  situation worse. So just be genuine to your style
• 22:21
  and how you feel it would be a good opportunity for you.
• 22:26
  Yeah, 100%. OK.
• 22:28
  So to close out just some key takeaways, it's important to
• 22:31
  focus on networking no matter if you need a job, because it does
• 22:34
  take time to build a network. So what are those intentional
• 22:37
  moments that you can create that are genuine to you?
• 22:40
  Focusing on curiosity and seeking to understand and
• 22:43
  meeting people, not asking for something, not getting something
• 22:47
  from them. And then trying to build those
• 22:50
  intentional moments, whether it's using organization or
• 22:53
  calendar reminders or an Excel sheet, whatever that looks like.
• 22:56
  So it doesn't drop to the bottom of your To Do List and it stays
• 23:00
  top of mind. Yeah.
• 23:01
  And I would just say like, inject whatever is joyful for
• 23:05
  you with getting, you know, getting together with people.
• 23:07
  Introverts are happy to hang out with people too.
• 23:10
  We just maybe less or you need some recovery time.
• 23:13
  But whatever it is that, you know, there's things that you
• 23:16
  like to talk about. I love talking about books with
• 23:20
  people. My mom loves talking about
• 23:21
  sports with people. Like we end up having those
• 23:24
  conversations that we want to have with people.
• 23:26
  So lean into those things that are joyful.
• 23:31
  Lean in, I love it. Thanks everyone.
• 23:35
  That's a wrap. Thanks for joining us on
• 23:37
  Unspoken Career Truths. Don't forget to follow us on
• 23:40
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• 23:43
  share it with a friend.