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Wrong Number? Enneagram Mistyping with Sonja Scott · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
0:35
SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: No, I don't mean dialing the wrong number, but rather Enneagram mistyping.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Enneagram mistyping is super common.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Trust me, I would say 80 to 90% of clients that I work with and people that I encounter in this space have mistyped at one point or another.
1:08
SPEAKER_00: So if you have thought you were one type and then been wondering, maybe I didn't land on the right number the first time, I want you to know it's totally normal and you are not alone.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: There is a lot to unpack here in this conversation, so we're gonna get right to it with my friend Sonia Scott.
1:29
SPEAKER_00: By the way, if you haven't met Sonia before, you definitely want to go friend her on Instagram and give her hello.
1:36
SPEAKER_00: Not only has she been a client and a friend, but she has also become another fellow wholehearted coach.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: It has been a delight to work with her these last nine months about growing a sustainable coaching business and having rhythms she loves while helping other women discover their God-given personality type.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: I know you'll enjoy Sonia as much as I do.
2:00
SPEAKER_00: So let's get right to the conversation.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: Sonia! Here we are.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: We're finally doing this podcast together.
2:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we are.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: We made it.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: We're doing it.
2:14
SPEAKER_00: I know that you and I have talked for a while about this idea because thanks to Voxer, we have been, I don't know, what are we in our third year of being Voxer buddies?
2:27
SPEAKER_01: I think so.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:29
SPEAKER_01: When I when I look back on it, I think like most of us to some degree or another, it's like before COVID, after COVID.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: And yes.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: And also if if the time of being in COVID kind of massaged you into reaching out for help and resources.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: And um, so I think I'm pretty sure it was 2021.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: So yeah.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, I love it.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: I can think of some of our conversations.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: For whatever reason, my memory has such a strange way of working.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: It mostly forms memory around story and other people's stories, which to be honest, I could be in a crowd of people and I will completely blink on your name, but I could tell you a lot about your story, whether you've told me or I know about your story.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: So interestingly enough, there's a part of my walk, and those who know uh when I voxer, I tend to be outside on a walk moving something.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: So I can think of the distinct place that I was on my route and some of the story coming forth in 2021 of you sharing and processing and your sweet laugh and your aha moments.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so I just gotta have a shout out to Voxer every once in a while.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: So our community understands the gift and the blessing of connecting in such a rich way over such a unique, a unique platform, if you will.
3:58
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: It was a learning curve for me for sure.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: I think it was maybe the first time or two at Voxer G it was like a talk to text.
4:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, period.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Uh exclamation point.
4:10
SPEAKER_00: You got to know me pretty well that way.
4:14
SPEAKER_00: It was great.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: It was great.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: I do remember that.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: And I would just giggle with you and go, oh, Sonia thinks she's leaving a talk-to-text message here again.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: And so the moments that I look back on and I can laugh at, but in the moment, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm a stepboxer.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: That's what happened just now.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh, not at all.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: I cherish all of those memories, all of those stories.
4:41
SPEAKER_00: And what's so neat, uh, to give a quick synopsis of our history would be we met, I think, because of the 2021 Wholehearted Summit, Enneagram Summit.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: So fun, an idea from the Lord that I'm so grateful I went with.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: You did what was a quote unquote DIY coaching process.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't have that available anymore, but what came with it was coaching support on Voxer.
5:07
SPEAKER_00: And so that was such a beautiful way to get to know women and Fox people through what was still a tough season, especially early 2021.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: There were still a lot of shutdowns, depending on where you lived in the country and a lot of things we were still navigating.
5:21
SPEAKER_00: And then as time has gone on, you have added the BEC certification.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: For those who don't know what that is, is become an Enneagram coach certification.
5:30
SPEAKER_00: And then you have hopped on to do the wholehearted mentorship, which also awards wholehearted coaching certification, both for the one-on-one client and with business and leadership.
5:42
SPEAKER_00: And so we just have this long, rich history in the scheme of things that has been joy for me to get to have a front row seat and see your story unfold and evolve and just get to have all these sweet touch points with you along the way.
5:59
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
6:00
SPEAKER_01: That I I've said this to you before, and I don't mind saying it a million times more.
6:04
SPEAKER_01: Um, God made that seat for you.
6:06
SPEAKER_01: It is your front row seat because at any time when I was unsure or, you know, kind of doing that hesitating thing or overthinking a little bit, I feel like you would reach out to me with encouragement or an opportunity.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: And I've said more quick yeses to you than probably anyone in my life except my husband.
6:30
SPEAKER_01: I have to say, I have to say the will you marry me was a quick yes.
6:34
SPEAKER_01: But beyond that, God just opened my heart to you and and the Ennegram and the and the process of growth through that.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: But your, I told you this before too, the your voice, the way you approach your the value you put on being wholehearted in an approach to the Enneagram and to life, period, putting Jesus first is everything like if I could write out a checklist, that would have been what it would be on it.
7:01
SPEAKER_01: So I appreciate even it's so funny to think that it did start through a little boxer, voxer conversations.
7:08
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for those words, Sonia.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: I treasure them, I store them up in my heart because I know this is to me is a testament of, and and this might even be a word for fellow coaches who are listening and are in the stages of growing their community and thinking about how can they serve more people.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: We are responsible to throw the seed and be obedient to the spirit's leading, but the Lord brings the people and brings the harvest and the fruit.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And so I just believe getting to intersect your life is a testament to that of where I how in the world did our paths cross?
7:42
SPEAKER_00: It was God.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so thankful for that.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: And thanks for having a seat for me.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm planning to stay here as long as possible.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: So you're at the table for sure.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:54
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I want to leave the table, but I trust you will be there when I come back.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Uh so get that.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: So get that.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: And I know those who hear it and understand we're with you.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: Well, there's a lot about your story that I know that is going to have such an impact in your community and in the world.
8:15
SPEAKER_00: And I'm excited for those bits and pieces when the timing is right to be shared with others.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: And of course, I'll be a big cheerleader and supporter, whether it's a book or a podcast or who knows?
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Who knows what's in store for Sonia?
8:29
SPEAKER_00: But today, and this is going to be a little difficult for us because there's so much that Sonia and I connect over and we could chat for hours if we had the availability, both off recording and on recording.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: But today I want to focus on Sonia's mistyping journey because I know that there are those who are listening who have experienced the same thing or are still in the middle of it.
8:52
SPEAKER_00: And I want this to serve as normalizing the process ultimately, right?
8:57
SPEAKER_00: That part of the self-awareness discovery, it's messy, it's not fluid, it is stop and start, and it can be confusing and it can be uh disappointing even too, when we thought we had things figured out and we get to a point where we're going, uh uh shoot, um, maybe I don't know myself as great as I thought I did.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: So this is what our conversation serves for.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: So we're going to try to keep it to the point, but I invite you, as my friend who's listening to this conversation right now, to step into the story and find where your pieces of your story align and what you can glean from it, because I think that's the value of stories going, okay, how have I asked myself these questions?
9:43
SPEAKER_00: Am I looking at the whole picture, the holistic picture?
9:46
SPEAKER_00: And what can I learn from this experience that either applies to me or I can support a friend?
9:52
SPEAKER_00: So that's where we're going with this.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: And I do want to point out one thing is where my friends have maybe heard from you before and heard your voice and heard your name is Sonia made an appearance in this spring, yes, in the spring series last year.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: And this is where we're gonna start the conversation because she was our Enneagram six guest for the spring series.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: So, those who haven't heard those series, I started off giving a rundown and insight about each Enneagram type.
10:22
SPEAKER_00: And then at the end, I invited those who have been clients and coaches to share their version of the story, of their coaching journey.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: So Sonia said yes to the six, but I think it was right around this time something was beginning to stir in you where you began to ask yourself, hmm, am I a six?
10:43
SPEAKER_00: So let's start there and tell us what that was like and what was that moment even.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: So when I dove into the Enneagram, I had heard about it years ago.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: I've shared that before, but when I really dove into it and started to explore uh being a six, I never felt, I kept hearing people say, when you hit on it, either you'll feel like this deep sense of, I don't even want to use the word shame, but kind of that, oh my gosh, that is me.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: Or it'll be like, aha, I'm stepping into who I am, or um, I really identify with this.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: So for me, being a six, as I use quotation marks, uh, it never felt like a lived-in experience.
11:28
SPEAKER_01: It always felt like I was trying to live into it.
11:30
SPEAKER_01: I was trying to use what I was learning about the six to make sense of who I am in the world instead of this is who I am, and it makes sense through reading about this type.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: Does that make sense?
11:44
SPEAKER_01: I thought that some of the things I was experiencing were out of a desire for safety and security.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: Um, I've I lived quite a long time making safety and security a priority.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and that's probably where I stuck as far as me being a six.
12:03
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's definitely my motivation, safety and security.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: But if I'm honest, and as you just said, we were right at the tail end of COVID.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: And a lot had kicked in for me as far as keeping my family safe, um, which I would say probably most of the population was experiencing something similar to that.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: So it was just a very interesting uh combination of events as I reflect on that moment that definitely I think impacted how I was answering, if I was doing a quiz, answering questions, or if I was reading, I'm like, oh yeah, that's me.
12:39
SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm doing.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Um, so I would say that's where it began, me thinking that I was a sixth, but then also still feeling like there's something more I need to keep digging.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: And exploring.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: I love the idea we talk about a lot as wholehearted coaches that we want to help people try on the types.
13:00
SPEAKER_00: And I feel like this is that perfect illustration where you went to the store and you got the coat or the sweater, I like to say, and you tried it on in the fitting room, and you're like, oh yeah, I think that's great.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: I think this is good.
13:14
SPEAKER_00: It looks cute on the hanger.
13:15
SPEAKER_00: It seems to look good in this lighting, in this mirror.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And then you took it home and you put it on and you even maybe wore it for evening, and you thought, oh, I don't know.
13:25
SPEAKER_00: This doesn't quite fit right.
13:27
SPEAKER_00: I can't put my finger on it, but something here is a little off where it's just not fitting like I thought it would initially.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Because I don't know about you all, but I surely I'm not the only one who tried something on at the fitting room and I thought this was it, and then I took it home and was like, this is not it.
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, I usually forego the fitting room.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: So like I'll take this.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: How much was it?
13:51
SPEAKER_01: Is it worth the return?
13:52
SPEAKER_01: What should I do?
13:53
SPEAKER_01: I'm just not going in that room at all.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: Well, post-COVID, this is very true.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: Now I know the return policy is easy pee peasy.
14:02
SPEAKER_00: So buy all the things and then we try them on at home.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: It's funny because even through the process of doing the podcast, the first one, um, talking about being a six, and as I wrapped up the end of and and the words came out of my mouth, I think that was the moment where I was like, I think I just recorded that I'm from a perspective of a six, and that language didn't even sound like a six when it came out of my mouth.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: And then I went into, oh no, I have to tell Amy, I'm an imposter.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: No, not at all.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: So I'm curious with that.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: What was that phrase or what was the thing that you realized as you heard yourself say it that you thought, hmm, there's a sign here that I've maybe figured out one of my dominant types, but not the dominant type.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: Definitely.
14:52
SPEAKER_01: It was along the lines of being seen for who I truly am and accepted that way.
15:01
unknown: Yeah.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: It was along those lines.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: And now that was a this is like me in my skin moment.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: And it came out of my mouth so authentically.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh gosh, I have some work to do still.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: This is not the whole story, you know, it may be part of my story for various reasons, but um, not the whole story.
15:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
15:23
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's good.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: I I like how you phrase that.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: We talk often here about story, holistic story, processing our story.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And I want to give just a nod to that.
15:35
SPEAKER_00: It was just a year ago we had a conversation about that we tend to operate in a dominant type in each triad.
15:43
SPEAKER_00: And a triad, really quick, is the intelligence centers.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And that is the head, heart, and gut.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: So if you're new to the Enneagram, it's all right if you don't get this.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: If you know the Enneagram, it is just an interesting thing to think through that we are all head, heart, and gut.
16:00
SPEAKER_00: We make decisions with all of those involved.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Part of the typing process and part of the self-discovery process is identifying the part you lead with in your decision making and where the other steps in the process go for you and where you might get stuck in those steps.
16:17
SPEAKER_00: So that being said, six is definitely part of your story.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: And we can maybe attribute to family of origin, some of those key critical years where some of the character traits, motivations were a layer and part of your story.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: So, what did it look like for you to go, okay, maybe I'm going to need to investigate a little bit more.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: What process did you take?
16:42
SPEAKER_00: What did it look like to try on the other types?
16:45
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, uh I've been going through a process of uh self-reflection, kind of taking a step back and looking to my past, looking to family of origin, looking for answers.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: So really it was more of okay, I'm pretty certain I don't lead as a six.
17:04
SPEAKER_01: Uh what as I take a step back and figure out that I don't have to have all the answers, but just kind of watch, watch and remember.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: Like take time to really remember, not a reactive response or not how reactively engaged, but think about even those times.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: And you said this before, you said around the age of 18.
17:30
SPEAKER_01: But if I really think back to even some of the most challenging times of being a child and being a teenager, at the heart of most of those challenging times was a little girl who had big emotion and had no idea what to do with it.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: Just it ran deep and it was good or it was bad, but it was all big.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: And I didn't necessarily live in a home that was um, I don't want to say celebrated, because I know big emotion can be challenging, but it's challenging for the person experiencing it and then for those who may not lead in that way or haven't learned yet to have their own big feelings.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: So, nonetheless, I mean when I started to really look at those parts of my life, it became more and more clear.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, like I I have to say too, I did two of the really long Enneagram tests.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: Did you?
18:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and both times, this is this is a very interesting part.
18:29
SPEAKER_01: Both times I ended up as a six and a and a four exact same percentage.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: No kidding.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: So the first time, immediately after COVID, I look at everything, I'm reading through it, and I'm like, yeah, that's me, I'm a six.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: Then as I go through processes of healing, counseling, time removed from a kind of traumatic time in all of our lives, that's where I feel like I got clarity.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: And I'll be remiss in not saying the other really important thing.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: Um, once I feel like once you kind of get the Enneagram bug, you're just driven to like find out more and know more, whether it's about your number or other people or whatever.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: I was also on different pages on Instagram and Tyler Zach did a whole series on each type as a mom, what you look like.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: And I read through the six, and I was like, eh.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: And I read through the four, and it was check, check, check, check, check, check, check.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: And I made sense of that in terms of being a mom because I feel like with everything in life, everything I've done, every role I've played, the one that I show up the most myself is with my kids.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: And so, in having that revelation, I was like, oh, I'm a four.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: It's all these pieces, all the puzzles coming together, and I sit in this space, like, and then there are moments I've told you, I don't want to be a four.
19:57
SPEAKER_01: This is hard.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: I get it.
20:01
SPEAKER_01: You gave me this.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: This is my number, this is how you created me.
20:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yes.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: And he goes, Sonia, yes, and I am well pleased.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: What a message, right?
20:15
SPEAKER_01: And I am well pleased.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: That's that's it.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, the name of my business.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: I am in the enough.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: That's the message my heart longs to hear.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: And I um I had to go with that.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: I think that's probably more along lines of what I said at the end of that podcast, knowing that I'm enough.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
20:32
SPEAKER_00: Well, we'll definitely put a link to that episode because it's worth listening to.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: And I even have thought about should I do a mystery series this summer of each Enneagram type to just strip some of the automatic labeling we do once we see a number associated with certain words and just invite people.
20:54
SPEAKER_00: And I've kind of talked about it here and been open about it, not sure if I'm gonna do it at this moment in time of recording, but to that point, being able to listen and just hear the words of people instead of automatically trying to put them in a box or assign a number or jump to this conclusion because it is just a starting point.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: It is not the stuck point for any of us.
21:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: And I I know you have had the uh desire and the fortitude to continue on this journey.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: Some people might get to that point and just think, okay, I'm just gonna park it, I'm gonna shelve it, come back to it later.
21:33
SPEAKER_00: And that's that's totally fine.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: I want to encourage the person who listens and uh has a sense of overwhelm.
21:39
SPEAKER_00: Uh we want to say the Enneagram is a gift.
21:42
SPEAKER_00: So when it doesn't feel like a gift, just step away.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: Lay it down.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: But I think Sonia started to pay attention.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: And I think that is an example of you paying attention and how beautiful that in paying attention to what you hold so dear, your family, your kids.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: That you became clearer on, oh, this is me.
22:06
SPEAKER_00: This is who I really am.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: It's a space that I've grown in, just the being a mom and being a wife in such a holy way because I've spent a lot of time asking and praying and looking to be defined by the Holy Spirit and God and how I parent and steward the responsibility of being a parent.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: And so it was easy for me to know the purity with which I attempt to approach those relate that relationship with my daughters.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: And so I'm no longer questioning because I feel like when I was trying on six, when I looked for myself in how that was playing out with my people, I was like, this, this is not.
22:53
SPEAKER_01: There are even moments like because I would obviously have these conversations.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: I would have them with my husband about being a six and worst case scenario thinking and some of those things.
23:01
SPEAKER_01: And he's like, Yeah, yeah, he's feeling it.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: He's like, Yeah.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: But what I realized is when he would actually bring real likes in it, like I was, I think at this point it was more self-preservation in at hand.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: In those moments where I was attaching worst case scenario thinking, it was more about self-preservation.
23:19
SPEAKER_01: Um, because he would bring to me in a situation, it would look like I was worrying, but he would bring to me his worry.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: And at that point, I thought, I'm not worried.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm not worrying at all.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: I was just trying to figure out how to best make this work so that, you know, I'm not completely depleted by the end.
23:38
SPEAKER_01: And everything is is taken care of, and we can get back to some sense of normalcy when things come up.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: So I definitely found that in those relationships with my people, I was able to kind of work through what fits, what doesn't fit in a place that felt comfortable.
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Context is so key.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: And I know from the Enneagram quiz that I've created, it's a little bit different than what's out there.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: It is intended to help people get out of the box, but I try as much as I can to say here is the thing.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: If you are in a work setting, you're going to tend to answer the questions from that lens.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: If you are in your experience, right, in the midst of COVID and all of the struggles and hardship, you're answering the questions and case in point, you're answering the questions based on that state of mind.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: And outcomes an answer that reflects the context.
24:40
SPEAKER_00: And so this is where I think I mean, I love that your family was that place where you could really pull back and be vulnerable and be who you are and who you are who you are with them.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: It's such a gift.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: But for those who are going on this journey, whether you're taking a test, whether you're just trying on the types and utilizing reflection, give that opportunity.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: What are the things, what kind of context am I in, or what kind of things are in my peripheral that could be impacting even how I view myself or impacting how I respond and relate?
25:15
SPEAKER_00: So which is why the invitation is to go to our 18-year-old self.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: It's not easy.
25:21
SPEAKER_00: I get a lot of pushback from it, from people, I get it, but it is so helpful if we can do that.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: And I think, like I think too, it's 18 and it's before 18 sometimes, you know.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: It's uh I I think to be of the mindset that type is known at birth or or you are your type, right?
25:42
SPEAKER_01: From birth, I think there are clues, especially in childhood.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: It's been my experience in talking with some people about their type that when they describe themselves as a child, you get the clues like, oh, that lines up with where you're seeing yourself in regard to main type right now.
25:56
SPEAKER_01: It lines up.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: So I think as we get older, this is a big thing for me when it comes to the Enneagram and kind of typing is you gotta take the yuck off a little bit.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: We're all operating in roles and we're operating with coping mechanisms, and we're operating sometimes with trauma or other things that have really flipped who we were meant to be when we came into the world.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: I know God has a plan and how he created us and what we're supposed to bring to the world.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: And of course, in this world, it sometimes gets messed up a little bit, it gets diverted, or we pull back, you withdraw, and then finding your type, if you're at that part of your journey, if that's part of your self-awareness, part of your growth in Christ, just takes a little more work.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: I have been talking to a few people who are in the midst of discovering their type and have even maybe misassigned a couple of times.
26:51
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, a couple of these people, it's been years of trying on different things.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: And there's been a lot of circumstantial uh just impact that would make the journey a little bit more difficult.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: I always think I make myself clear on some of those, go back to your 18-year-old self, think about some of your childhood.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: But what can get a little sticky sometimes is trauma.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: And as I was coaching one person in particular, I finally said, okay, I know that you experienced a ton of trauma.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: And I completely get this.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: Someone who has experienced a lot of hard things, I know that it has impacted my journey, but I want you to think about the lens that you had on and how you viewed that trauma because you never took off that lens.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: How you went through that experience and how you perceive and your perspective and the feelings and the emotions, consequence, consciously due to all of that trauma, but all of that is due to the typology, the personality you experienced trauma and it maybe felt larger or different compared to other types.
28:09
SPEAKER_00: But I don't think it actually changes who you are.
28:14
SPEAKER_00: It creates another layer.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: And I think we can go back.
28:16
SPEAKER_00: How did I view that trauma?
28:18
SPEAKER_00: How was that experience?
28:19
SPEAKER_00: What was the pain?
28:21
SPEAKER_00: How did it amplify my core fear?
28:23
SPEAKER_00: How did it completely miss the desire of my heart?
28:27
SPEAKER_00: All of those things.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't think we need to totally remove that part of our story in order to get to the heart of the story.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: No, I think that's the pathway to the story.
28:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think it is.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: And I it speaks to me so often you hear people say they were raised in the same house.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: How in the world did they turn out different?
28:45
SPEAKER_01: And because we all have a different lens with which we experience our home.
28:48
SPEAKER_01: Now, there are other factors, of course.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: I think as we age as parents, we get better.
28:53
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we get better, we think, at what we're doing.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: Um, we might relax a little bit.
28:59
SPEAKER_01: So so that's not maybe that's an impact, but I think a big, big thing to think about is the lens through which you experienced your your life at home with your family, whether it was that or maybe school or I have so much appreciation for lens now.
29:19
SPEAKER_01: So much appreciation and respect and grace.
29:22
SPEAKER_01: And I thank God so much because within our home, that same grace is given.
29:28
SPEAKER_01: The grace that I give in knowing the type of the people I'm living with to some degree.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Some of them are a little too young quite yet.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: But the grace I'm receiving in learning about myself and being able to articulate.
29:44
SPEAKER_01: I have words now to say, This is kind of how I see things, or this is I hear you, but this is how I'm experiencing this moment.
29:52
SPEAKER_01: And I might start with my heart, I can get to my head, and then maybe my gut and do something about it.
29:58
SPEAKER_01: But right now I just need to feel all of it.
30:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love this.
30:04
SPEAKER_00: I can think of all these great little takeaways that I hope are landing just right for those who need to hear it.
30:11
SPEAKER_00: I have so many more questions, but I think I'm gonna stick to two, maybe three, if we could get it in.
30:16
SPEAKER_00: So maybe what for you was has been most helpful because it's been about a year.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: And so after realizing the six did not fit, but the four is really it.
30:32
SPEAKER_00: What in learning about the four has been really helpful for you that you're going, oh, and this is so distinctly, uniquely different from the six that this four information has helped me get out of the box?
30:46
SPEAKER_01: I would say, wow, I would say I I kind of have a story from my weekend about that.
30:53
SPEAKER_01: I've constantly put myself in a box of being too much.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: And in response to that, not really sharing myself with the world, being more convinced that if I give you all of me, this is gonna be hard.
31:06
SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna love it.
31:08
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
31:09
SPEAKER_01: But in respecting the fact that this is just how I process information, or this is just how I respond to life situations.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: And even in conversation with my husband, like over the weekend, like it's funny, things can happen.
31:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, I I have a friend who would call it um spiritual fellowship, uh, spiritual fellow something when you're arguing, something about it being fellowship, which makes it sound so much better, or when you're off in some way.
31:40
SPEAKER_01: And he is so comfortable now with the fact that like it's gonna take me a while to process through what was said, how I feel about it, how we should respond to it.
31:53
SPEAKER_01: And the grace that he gives me in that, because often I feel like the shame kicks in and it's like what I feel is too much and I shouldn't share it.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm learning and embracing that that this is who I am.
32:04
SPEAKER_01: And I hate to even say sometimes the numbers to me make it seem so like this is a number, but it's so much more than a number.
32:13
SPEAKER_01: And just kind of discovering what that is and really realizing that I spent a lot of my life holding all of that in, and that there's space for me in the world to be a feeler, to not just have my own, but the way that I take in other people's and want and sit with them in that.
32:34
SPEAKER_01: I have to, I guess I have to say I feel free.
32:37
SPEAKER_00: I feel free.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: Sonia, that is so beautiful.
32:42
SPEAKER_00: I love that you use the word free because I know that has been my experience and so many others who have gone through this mistyping process where they thought they were one number.
32:55
SPEAKER_00: And for some people, listen, I just want to normalize.
32:57
SPEAKER_00: For some people, it's been years.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: I don't know personally, but as far as I know, some of the big Enneagram teachers misidentified their type for decades.
33:07
SPEAKER_00: And as they continued to do deeper work, they had greater revelation about that core need and desire.
33:14
SPEAKER_00: So again, I told you that was my hope is to normalize this, but then also to show the fruit of doing the work because it is hard sometimes, but the fruit is freedom.
33:24
SPEAKER_00: I know I've experienced in my life, I've seen it, and you were in the last year compared to the first two years of knowing you, there's been an acceleration of growth.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: And I think of different conversations that we've had in our mentorship because the mentorship program for coaches, we meet once a week, sometimes twice a week.
33:44
SPEAKER_00: It we're very involved.
33:45
SPEAKER_00: We've got boxer chats.
33:47
SPEAKER_00: It were in each other's lives, but I've heard you identify the repression centers and how much getting clarity on doing repression has helped for you and the permission to emote and to see emotions as superpowers and how you bring that into our group as our token for and right here I am, guys.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: And it's such a beautiful part of our group.
34:19
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, I again, this is where I feel such privilege and joy to be previewed to this process.
34:26
SPEAKER_00: And so could my friend who's listening right now, who's wondering, have I really figured out my type?
34:32
SPEAKER_00: Is it worth doing more?
34:34
SPEAKER_00: I would say yes, just for the sake of freedom.
34:36
SPEAKER_00: When the timing is right, the fruit is freedom.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: And I want that for everyone because there's just things yet to be discovered and therefore then conquered and experienced and more to serve in the body of Christ because of that freedom.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: And that's why I would even turn it to you, because now finding that freedom ultimately, I believe, has impacted your desire to coach and even how you show up as a coach.
35:01
SPEAKER_00: So just tell us maybe even a little bit about that.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: That's what I was gonna say.
35:06
SPEAKER_01: Like having that freedom releases you to operate in your gifts.
35:11
SPEAKER_01: And what I've learned, you know, in being a four is fighting the how it was created is exhausting.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: And it creates, I've said this before to family members, a lot of the anxiety we experience in the world is because we're operating outside of our out of our divine image and then also out of our gifting.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: You know, we just keep trying to push your square peg into a round hole for various reasons, whether it's economic sometimes, right?
35:41
SPEAKER_01: Or it's because this is who I was told I should be, or I have this idealistic, this I've talked a lot about this with friends lately too, is the ideals we have about what it should look like, or the stories we've told ourselves about what it should look like.
35:57
SPEAKER_01: And so for me, it's always been very natural to show up with people and for people, especially one-on-one, and be with them through their troubles.
36:08
SPEAKER_01: I've never been great at small talk.
36:10
SPEAKER_01: I am a person who could sit prior to having children in a family, would sit on a plane, meet someone, and by the end, I'm like, I had their whole story.
36:20
SPEAKER_01: Part of what the Lord led me through an educational process of becoming a family and marriage counselor.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: And that was the beginning of me realizing this is how I want to help people and be with them in the world.
36:36
SPEAKER_01: And through a series of events and prayer and um the first desire in my heart to be a mom, I set aside the counseling for a while and just knew that.
36:48
SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because I feel like over the course of maybe 10 years, life coaching has kind of been the thing that's continued to, and I've operated in a lot of relationships where that was that was the predominant way that we communicated was we're just talking about what's going on and and and what might be helpful and what tools.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: And this is just a space he created for me.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: And the Enne Ram opened that door, but finding out my own type really has allowed me to be confident stepping through it and knowing that what I have as a four is unique to share.
37:23
SPEAKER_01: And there are people that will need to hear it from a four, and there are people that'll need to hear it from a six and a three and a two and a one.
37:32
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
37:33
SPEAKER_01: But but I know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, not showing up is not an option for me anymore.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: So it's the ready, ready, ready, ready, ready aim.
37:44
SPEAKER_01: Um in the fire season of life.
37:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes, let's go.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
37:51
SPEAKER_01: What did I I told a friend the other day, I was like, it is it is a midlife revival.
37:55
SPEAKER_01: We are we are being revived.
37:57
SPEAKER_01: We are going to live the rest of our life here on earth in a different way because we have hit midlife, we can reflect and we can move forward.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I like that word revived.
38:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm even gonna write it down right now.
38:12
SPEAKER_00: I think that is key because I was thinking a springboard and I was just seeing you kind of get catapulted.
38:19
SPEAKER_00: And and I just want to make a little plug because you are a coach, you are a wholehearted coach, you're almost done with our time and the mentorship, which boo-hoo, these good things do come to a wrap-up, and but it's just to the next thing.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: So we can find you on social media is I'm any enough.
38:38
SPEAKER_01: Right?
38:39
SPEAKER_01: I I am any enough.
38:41
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: There we go.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: Good, good.
38:43
SPEAKER_00: I just want to make sure I want to put that plug in here so for any friend who is on Instagram can listen and search you up and go follow you and just see because I I want you to have a perspective from Sonia.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: And I think what her unique voice added to this conversation is so beautiful and there's something to learn.
39:03
SPEAKER_00: So, in that, as we segue again, there's so much more I would love to say, love to capture, but okay, some hopefully someday soon here we'll do some of those, or I'll be championing on whatever it is you do.
39:16
SPEAKER_00: What's maybe a last piece of advice or wisdom that you would give to the person who finds themselves questioning, okay, maybe I do need to double check about my type because you said something at the very beginning.
39:31
SPEAKER_00: It felt like you were trying to make it fit instead of stepping into something that fit you.
39:37
SPEAKER_00: And I do think that's a really key part of that process.
39:41
SPEAKER_01: I think a I think a clue is if you I feel like I was trying to live into the type instead of it just being, and I think the typing process is a discovery process and not something that can happen overnight, especially when you think about living a life, whatever your personal life is, whatever your journey's been to this point, whatever your story.
40:06
SPEAKER_01: And I I think it's just human nature to live in self-deception and unaware.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: And so if you are just beginning your journey, or you're even four or five years into it, you have to understand like you've lived 18, however many years, not looking at yourself this way, not taking the time to think about what you do and how you do it, and how you're showing up in your most intimate relationships, what's working for you in those, what's not working.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Uh, historically, what hasn't worked, it takes time.
40:39
SPEAKER_01: Um, we were created as very complex human beings, I believe the most complex part of creation that God created.
40:48
SPEAKER_01: So we're a beautiful masterpiece, and to look at your experience into or your jump into self-awareness is that a slow, beautiful process of unmasking and seeing yourself the way that God does.
41:05
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, perfection.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: Sonia, I I realize it just I think it's worth saying, whenever I invite someone to have these conversations, I always try to give the caveat.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna send you some questions, but we're just really gonna go where the Holy Spirit leads.
41:24
SPEAKER_00: And the Holy Spirit is led, and I see how the fruit of how he has led you and the words that have come forth, and that we just have gotten the privilege to capture here to share with the person who needed to hear them.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
41:36
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for showing up as you, uniquely you, beautifully you, authentically you.
41:42
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, that you gave something really profound.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so, so excited to share this with others.
41:48
SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for that.
41:50
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me, Amy.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful to share just a small part of what God has been giving me over the last four to five years.
42:00
SPEAKER_01: I'm so grateful.
42:01
SPEAKER_01: And his words to me are it's not just for you.
42:03
SPEAKER_01: It's time to share.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: So thank you for giving me the opportunity.
42:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:08
SPEAKER_01: I've loved it.
42:08
SPEAKER_00: And I think the best is yet to come.
42:11
SPEAKER_00: I love that.
42:14
SPEAKER_00: For all of us, right?
42:16
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
42:16
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
42:17
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
42:19
SPEAKER_00: Okay, friend, what did you think?
42:21
SPEAKER_00: Did you relate to some of Sonia's story?
42:24
SPEAKER_00: Do you have the right number?
42:27
SPEAKER_00: Or have you ever mistyped before?
42:29
SPEAKER_00: These are all questions that I have for you.
42:32
SPEAKER_00: And I would love to know and hear from you.
42:35
SPEAKER_00: So reach out to me on wholehearted Enneagram on Instagram.
42:39
SPEAKER_00: Let me know what you think about this conversation, and also if you've had a hard time finding your type or if you found it right away.
42:47
SPEAKER_00: And also remember, go say hi to Sonia and thank her for being on the podcast.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure you're gonna be hearing more from her in the future.
42:54
SPEAKER_00: Okay, friend, I hope you're enjoying this process as much as I am about understanding the Enneagram and even the Enneagram typing process.
43:03
SPEAKER_00: I have a great conversations just like this in store for you, especially during our summer in the Enneagram series that is coming up in June and July.
43:12
SPEAKER_00: I cannot wait.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: It'll be so much fun.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.