Latest / Just Heal with Dr Jay / Love Saved My Life with Jason Mitchell | Part. 1

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Love Saved My Life with Jason Mitchell | Part. 1 · Just Heal with Dr Jay

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Welcome to jess Hell with Doctor j a production of
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  Speaker 1: The Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. Welcome back to
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: another episode of Just Here with Doctor Jay, and I
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  Speaker 1: am your host, Doctor j Listen. June is Men's Mental
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  Speaker 1: Health Month, and I'm excited to bring to you a
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  Speaker 1: two part series of a powerful discussion with producer and
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  Speaker 1: actor Jason Mitche. Some of you have heard of his story,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: some of you may not have heard of his story.
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  Speaker 1: But today he's gonna sit down and he's going to
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  Speaker 1: talk about it all and we're gonna talk about self discovery,
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  Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about healing, and we're gonna talk about overcoming.
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  Speaker 1: More importantly, Jason, one or two guys said, get to
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  Speaker 1: meet him, not the character, not the actor, but the man.
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  Speaker 2: Stay tuned. It's my brother. Thank you for having men,
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you for doing this with me.
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  Speaker 1: Listen, bro, before we get into the depths of what
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  Speaker 1: we're going to discuss today, and before we get into
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  Speaker 1: you know, just the layers of you. We have chef
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  Speaker 1: care who who's prepared us a meal, and so we're
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  Speaker 1: going to start this conversation off man. We're going to
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  Speaker 1: have some good food and we just want to start
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  Speaker 1: off just talking about your childhood.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I want.
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  Speaker 1: People to get to know Jason before you became the active,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: before you even started because you started acting late in life.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah for sure, for sure definitely save my life,
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  Speaker 3: you know, but before that. It's so funny because, like
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  Speaker 3: you know, being from New Orleans, food is such a
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  Speaker 3: big part of our culture.
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  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, and like it just makes
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  Speaker 4: me feel at home.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like this is what really brings people together
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  Speaker 3: for real exact I mean, like, no matter what's happening
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  Speaker 3: over like it's dope.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, food has a unique way of connecting us because
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  Speaker 1: even if you don't rock with people, if y'all start
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  Speaker 1: eating together, you start finding out like we actually have
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: something in common.
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  Speaker 3: Exactly like that, you know, always just telling one of
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  Speaker 3: my partners, like, how can Trump.
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  Speaker 4: Want to get rid of the Mexicans? Bro Like tacos
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  Speaker 4: have brought everybody together, taco to.
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  Speaker 2: Do.
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  Speaker 3: Believe tacos are the one thing maybe the entire world
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  Speaker 3: in the ground.
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  Speaker 5: Listen, let me tell you something.
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  Speaker 1: Guacamole broth exactly give me an all.
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  Speaker 5: Right, I love it.
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  Speaker 2: I love it.
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  Speaker 1: But yeah, man, so we're gonna break bread. Man, see
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  Speaker 1: what chef cave got on the menu, and we're just
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: gonna sit there, eat and chop it up, man, and
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  Speaker 1: keep eat it, peeling that onion back.
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  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it.
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  Speaker 4: What we're looking like, fellas, thank you out for having
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: me today.
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  Speaker 2: Today.
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  Speaker 3: What we're going to eat is going to be a
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  Speaker 3: pants or chicken breast with a cape or sauce, served
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  Speaker 3: with fun out potatoes and a cauliflower perade.
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  Speaker 2: It's making and what bro he talked to you feel
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  Speaker 2: safety appreciate chef, Thank you, sir. Oh yes, Lord bless
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  Speaker 2: his food.
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  Speaker 5: We thank you for Jesus name.
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  Speaker 2: Amen.
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: See what chef got chicken breast with some caper sauce.
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  Speaker 4: All right?
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  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, Okay, I think I'm definitely go for
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: a second.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So we were talking earlier, right are you? They
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  Speaker 1: are you?
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  Speaker 4: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Man, I got a woman. I got a woman.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, so yeah, I feel like it's locate the best
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  Speaker 3: thing that happened to me too, because I'm not gonna
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  Speaker 3: lie before her. I don't think I believed in the
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  Speaker 3: classic version of like relationship. You know, I know everybody
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  Speaker 3: got to do it work.
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  Speaker 4: For them, but.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like in the back of
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  Speaker 2: my mind.
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  Speaker 3: I like, I felt like I wanted to be like
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  Speaker 3: the right example because I got daughters.
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  Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying.
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  Speaker 3: So if I'm living like a polygamous lifestyle or whatever
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  Speaker 3: it may be.
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  Speaker 4: I don't know if I'm one hundred percent comfortable with
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  Speaker 4: my daughter seeing it.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: So like, yeah, my woman, she just she been there
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  Speaker 3: for like the growth and through everything, you know what
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  Speaker 3: I mean.
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  Speaker 2: I like them too, I said, she's a little older
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  Speaker 2: like I like.
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  Speaker 5: Okay, older women.
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  Speaker 1: I like them with them a little seasoning, you know,
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  Speaker 1: like them like the chicken breas.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, we met.
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  Speaker 3: I was actually doing this film everything is both first
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  Speaker 3: thing I would produce, making a ton of mistakes.
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  Speaker 1: Ye.
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  Speaker 3: We was running out of bread, so we needed somebody
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  Speaker 3: to come help with wardrobe.
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  Speaker 2: Who wasn't gonna cost nothing, you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, And I remember her telling me, you know that
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  Speaker 3: she wanted to stop me at one point in her
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  Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm all, I but.
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  Speaker 2: Come help me out with this movie. And she did.
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  Speaker 2: She popped out, she came help.
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  Speaker 4: And ever since then me and her was just like friends,
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  Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: Like we really was like josing and like, you know,
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  Speaker 3: like it was we could just laugh together, which is
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  Speaker 3: what I think I needed at that time, you know,
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  Speaker 3: and still to this day we like that.
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  Speaker 1: Bro.
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  Speaker 2: It was like mm hmmm, So.
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  Speaker 1: When did it transition into the friendship? Because remember I
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: tell you like my situation where my friend called me
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: one day and she was like, Yo, I don't think
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  Speaker 1: I want to be just friends anymore. So I had
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: to take a pall because I'm like, Yo, what is
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: this right? Because we've just been friends and like you know,
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  Speaker 1: we talk every day and like we talk about work,
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  Speaker 1: we talk about life, and it's just and it's just
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  Speaker 1: one of those things where it's just like, man, it
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  Speaker 1: caught me off guard because I enjoyed friendship so much,
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: and then I also enjoyed friendship where I feel like
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  Speaker 1: I'm growing because I'm learning from her, Like I love
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  Speaker 1: to learn from a woman.
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  Speaker 2: Same here. I feel like.
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  Speaker 3: I feel like women are are more honest, you know
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  Speaker 3: what I mean, Like just different sex relationships to it.
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  Speaker 3: It's like, you know, that's why a lot of people
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  Speaker 3: will be like, oh I got this god best friend
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  Speaker 3: or this girl best friend.
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  Speaker 4: It's just like it's easy.
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  Speaker 3: For them to be honest, even with hard stuff to
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: talk about, you know what I mean. But like in
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: my situation, we actually went to like a game night,
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: and both of us are like highly competitive, like I'm
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: one of them people who like our laugh and smile
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: and be like, you know, no, keep me out of
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  Speaker 3: this because I'm gonna really try to win, you know
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  Speaker 3: what I mean.
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  Speaker 2: She the same way.
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  Speaker 3: So he was actually playing girls against guys, but we
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: was playing like something like like taboo or something. I
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: don't know if that was the game, but it was
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  Speaker 3: like we had to like act different stuff out.
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  Speaker 4: And you know, and that's my route, you know what
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  Speaker 4: I mean.
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  Speaker 3: So we was like going hard, but we was just
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: like having one of them nights.
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  Speaker 2: It was just all laughs, you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: So we's together like two in the morning, and she
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  Speaker 3: ended up leaving coming by my spot, and then one
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  Speaker 3: thing led to the next. It was like some movie
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  Speaker 3: type shit like by the time we got to know,
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  Speaker 3: we was taking our.
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  Speaker 4: Clothes off, our fans and shitt and then.
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  Speaker 3: You know, we woke up in the morning and it
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  Speaker 3: was like, well, I guess we're more than friends now,
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  Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
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  Speaker 2: It was it was yep, yep, yeah, but that's all.
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  Speaker 1: So when y'all, so, you know, y'all get back to
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  Speaker 1: the house, Like, did you feel that energy from her
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  Speaker 1: before y'all got to that point?
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  Speaker 3: You know, I'm one of them people like I go
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  Speaker 3: after what I want, So I always did give her
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  Speaker 3: that energy.
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  Speaker 4: But by me being like so much younger than her,
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  Speaker 4: it was just like a.
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  Speaker 3: Joke type of thing, you know what I mean, Like,
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  Speaker 3: you know, it was always just me joking with him.
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  Speaker 3: But what she feeling the same way towards you, The
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  Speaker 3: way she was looking she was, you know, but she
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  Speaker 3: like a she kind of classy, you know what I mean,
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  Speaker 3: She like me. She ain't like you know, I mean,
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  Speaker 3: she's from Milwaukee, so if you play with them, you
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  Speaker 3: might see a little ratchetness.
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  Speaker 2: You know what I mean.
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  Speaker 3: But for the most part, she like super classy and
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  Speaker 3: not like over sexualized and all of that.
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  Speaker 2: So the way she would look at me, though, I
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  Speaker 2: could tell you.
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  Speaker 4: Know what, I like.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Them might not say nothing, but they leave the door,
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: but they don't say come in, but they just turn around.
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  Speaker 2: And leave the dog yo, one of them things.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you this about me, I am
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  Speaker 1: the most oblivious person ever like I a woman shooting
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: U shot at me, and I'd be like, I don't
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  Speaker 1: I don't see it, I don't hear you know what
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  Speaker 1: I mean. I just don't you know, feel like you know,
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  Speaker 1: I just be because I be so locked in on work.
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  Speaker 4: I was about to say that you think you do
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  Speaker 4: it because you're.
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  Speaker 1: A profession absolutely absolutely right, because bro, I don't want
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: because being in this space that I'm in, it's like
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: I don't want nobody to think like he's using his skills,
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: he's using his intellect, because I'm a different type of man, right,
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  Speaker 1: So it's like I know how to communicate, I know
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: how to engage, I know how to assert myself. So
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: I'm always just kind of careful because if you start
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: to do those things, it can often be sort of
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: misinterpreted because for me to be like, hey, how you doing,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: and for me to start asking about a woman day, so.
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  Speaker 5: How you feel this?
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  Speaker 1: And that, oh he likes me, he's interested exactly, exactly exactly.
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  Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.
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  Speaker 1: But what I am finding out at forty four, man,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: is how powerful love is and what it could do
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  Speaker 1: to the heart of a man who's never had it.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so true. That's so true because this wasn't
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: even like a woman thing. Like I got a friend
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  Speaker 3: named big Less. He actually because I used to cook
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: when I was like a starving artist, right, and I
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: worked on the line with him. Well he was like
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: a super gangster. I'm talking about mouthful of goals all that,
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: you know. And every time I would get in his station,
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: he would elbow me like you know, so he always
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: had like this this mean way of training me.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
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  Speaker 3: But after I did Compton and a couple of other things,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: like I finally came back to New Orleans.
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  Speaker 2: I went to his house and I.
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Hugged him and he hugged me back, and I just
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: broke down crying. He's like, why are you crying?
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  Speaker 4: I was like, I don't.
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  Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: It was like it was a trip, bro.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: So like, I feel you because a lot of times
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: you don't even know what you need till you need it, you.
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  Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So when you look at the relationship you have with her, Yeah,
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: how has that relationship.
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: Heal some parts of you from your childhood? You know?
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: Because one thing I can say about people from New Orleans,
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: we have a very brash way of talking to people,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: so you know, you you grow this like tough exterior.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Like by the time you've grown you, damn they got
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: rhino skin. You see what I'm saying. And you don't
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: realize that, like words are affecting you, you know what
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, because I've been trying to play that shit
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: off for so long, Like I ain't bothered by nothing
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  Speaker 3: nobody say.
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  Speaker 2: I don't care about nothing nobody say.
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  Speaker 4: And then she'll say something and I'll be like.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: Damn, you should hurt.
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  Speaker 3: My soul or like that's how you feel, or you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: or the polar opposite, you know what I mean.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: She's like, you look good today, and I'm.
• 12:01
  Speaker 6: Like, damn all right, Like the other day she was like,
• 12:04
  Speaker 6: damn be your body popping.
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm like, all right, because it's different
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: than going to the internet and people be.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Like all right, go ahead. You know it's twenty five pounds, amazing.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: It's different when she look at me and she like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: well you better strap your shoes up.
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: Later, boy, when we leave his office is oh, you know.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: It's just it's different, bro.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: It's different when you know somebody really care about you,
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: and they they care about what they say to you.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: It makes you cognizant and sh say to them how
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: you carry yourself on that person.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, it's oh man, it's so
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: much bro.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: That is a bar they care about what they say
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: to you.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: And as you're talking, Jason, I'm just thinking about the
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: number of men who don't know what real love looks
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: like because most of the things that have been said
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: to them are from people that they expected to hear
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: something better.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Said, right right.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: So for them, I don't know that you love me
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: because of how you just talk to me. And it's
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: not so much that you just talk to me, it's
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: what was said. Because when you say I love you,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: this is like I literally just told somebody this the
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: other day. I said, I'm so careful with telling a
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: woman that I love her, because when I tell you
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I love you, it changes how I move with you.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Because I'm now saying to myself, I'm going to be
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: cognitive of what I say, what I do, how I
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: move because now when I say I love you, it's
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: set the precedents, you know what I mean, as sets
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: the stage. So that's so powerful that you said that love.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: It really it gives you direction. With your words that
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: I got care about what I say to you, right,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: and even because here's the other part right that I'm
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: thinking about. Even God cares about how he speaks to us,
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: even when he's correcting us facts facts.
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: So just think it's too real, man, is too real?
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Bro, It's too real because I think so many times right,
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Like I know, for me, in relationships, I didn't even
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: realize I was really falling for somebody until something bad happened,
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like you don't even realize
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: you in love with somebody till you know, you see
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: a text in the next one.
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: And you're like, what the going on?
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: I feel like this and you got all these different
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: things going through your body, you know what I mean.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: I think I'm so thankful for the relationship that I'm
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: in now because like she really protects me. She really
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: like she don't even just watch the way she talked
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: to me. She watched the way other people talk about
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: me when I'm not in the.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: Room, you know what I mean. It's like all of
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: these different like cause she.
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: Really like, well, I'm gonna cover you, and I'm a
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: move like that, like you gonna know, everybody gonna know
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: you know, and now I'm getting to the point where
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: like it makes me happy.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: Like her assistant was just telling me, like, I just
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: love y'all. I'm like, what you mean.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: She's like, I can.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: Just tell, like the way you look at her that
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: you really love her.
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And that's powerful to me because like, it ain't always easy.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: It ain't always skinnles and chema, you know what I mean.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Sometimes it's like damn, you know, sometimes everybody don't feel
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: like going home and don't feel like answering the phone,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: and everybody go through that when you've been with somebody,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: especially like as the years start to build, you know,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: and as you really start to face stuff.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: But like on a day to day basis.
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: When when people are complimenting a relationship and all that,
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: like it makes me feel like I'm doing my job.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I'm proud of that.
• 16:03
  Speaker 5: What you say, this is the first time you ever
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: been in love?
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: No, No, I.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: Wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. I think this
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: is my first time being.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: Proud of who I love.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: They're gonna have somebody watching this somewhere to say it
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: wasn't proud.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: No, I was not, man, wow, telling you I didn't
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: bring my car today.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: Normally I have my cars. We're freestyle of the day.
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: I'm with my brother.
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: This is a card terror moment for those who follow me,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: y'all know when I tell a car a bar has
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: been dropped. He said, this is that the first time
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: you've been proud of who you love.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, bro, it's crazy.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: It's crazy because I was just laughing at one of
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: my partners because he was like, man, you know, I
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: met this girl and I've been hearing about him, hearing
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: all these things, and now she wants me to be
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: the husband.
• 17:23
  Speaker 6: When she meet me, Like, no, be the person that
• 17:25
  Speaker 6: I heard about a lot of times when you meet
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: somebody new, they put on this mask like they're this
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: version of themselves that they think you're gonna like, and
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: that shit can only last for so long, only.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Last, you know what I mean. And then when that
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: start to fall apart, and it's like, oh man, this
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: crazy crazy, it leads you down the paddle. The instruction
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: my brother right, not chef keV.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie.
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: This was fire, yeah man, but this was supposed be there.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: That's not what this was.
• 18:05
  Speaker 5: I paper. Let me get this last paper, I guess
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: on camera.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: You can't really cheat him. Well, I have been doing
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: a great job. I'm probably m thank you so much.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: What else for you?
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: So, I mean, bro, you just.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: Talking about crack the brother the first time that you
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: feel proud, Yeah, to love the person you love it?
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And it's like, you know, I'm to this
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: point now, Like my daughter is at twelve and fourteen, right,
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: And at one point their aunt said something to me
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: that made me feel like a little bit sketchy as
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: a as a as a parent. You know.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: She was like, you're taking their innocence from.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Them, you know.
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: But I'm like, hey, listen, I look at the iPads,
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: I look at roadblocks, I look at everything, and I
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: realize that if I'm not real with raising my children,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: the internet will be real with them. And now it's
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: putting the gap in our relationship, you know. So sometimes
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: like I go to them and I ask them, like
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: how they feel about certain things, you know, And this
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: was one of the things that they were most proud
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: of for my life as well, Like they super happy
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: about my relationship. My mama is super happy about my relationship. Yeah,
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: I mean a lot to me, like like it must
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: look good on you. It's like when you know, I
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: don't know if you had this. I'm sure you had
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: this moment, but like when somebody like something just seem
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: different about you and it be God, you know what
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I'm talking about. Like when you finally get that washing,
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: you know, you get them good tears out and you
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: get this new relationship with God and y'all like on
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: that that talking basis again, it's like, you know, you,
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know. That's how it feels, That's how it feels.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Just like I'm walking around with with joy in my
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: spirit because of it, you know what I mean. And
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: I know it's because not only because I love her,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: but that I'm being in love properly, you know.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And bro, when I tell you, hearing you share this,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: it makes my heart smile because not only do a
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: lot of men, you know, don't get the opportunity to
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: experience what you're experiencing, but I also know that your childhood,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you know, with such a childhood that you fault so
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: much to overcome and to think that the little boy
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: who was fighting to overcome has overcome. But the little
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: boy it's now being love and the man is being
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: love too.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's crazy because see, my childhood was really interesting,
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: right because I have an older sister and a younger brother.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: My sister and I were both born abroad because my
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: parents met in the military, so we was both born
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: in Germany, right, And.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: I don't remember.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: A lot of bad things that my dad did to me.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: But I watched him beat my mama, you know, I
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: watched him beat my sister.
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: I watched him beat our cat.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: And dog before. Like I'm gonna just be honest. He
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: was the first person I ever seen pull a gun
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: on somebody.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: You know.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: But I always felt like I was his.
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Pride and joy.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: So I never had a problem with my dad, Like
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I never really did, you know what I mean. That
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: was this time my sister dressed me up like a girl.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: He woupped both of us, you know what I mean,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: And it was to remember. But outside of that, my
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: dad didn't really do a lot of bad.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: Things to me. So when him and my mom split up.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I would do everything in my power to try to
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: get back around him, and she never kept him from me,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: but she never wanted to be a part of that either. Wow,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like she'll be like, Okay,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: we're gonna meet him at this burger king. I'm gonna
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: wait inside, you can go to the car. She'll watch
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: me get in the car and then that right, you
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: know what I mean. She didn't even really want to
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: be in the same space as him. So I had
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: never experienced what a relationship was supposed to feel like.
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: Even in my own home, you know what I mean.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: It was like it was it was a crazy situation
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: man to go through, you know. And then like when
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: my sister and my dad started to get into it
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: a lot, because we would go visit him every summer,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: and it got to the point where she just didn't
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: want to come anymore, you know, so she skipped like
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: a summer or two, and then when she did come back,
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: it got physical between them, you know, because she ain't
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: know how to talk to him at all. You know,
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: she was fussing and cussing and all this. But you
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: you know, seventeen years old, like you still shouldn't be
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: talking to your parents like this. Like my dad definitely
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: took it too far. But I was the last time
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: I saw my dad, Like how old were you at
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: that time?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: I was about to be fourteen, and.
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: That was the last time I saw you.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: That it was the last time I saw them.
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you haven't seen them since?
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: No, no, he what are they calling it now?
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: He underlived himself when I was fifteen.
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: And he like he wrote me a letter and did
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: all the things. But I was like pissed off because
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: I'm like, we could have talked about this, you know,
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: like we really could have talked about this.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: I want to say, year before last, cause he actually
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: committed suicide in Washington State, which I thought was super random.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like, what brought you there? You know?
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: But I actually drove up there and like found a
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: body of water and just let it all out. I
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: screamed to the top of my lungs. I like did
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: everything I could feel, you know, And I just went
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: and did it by myself because I felt like I
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: was I was so angry at him, like why would
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: you just leave me in this space of like.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: You knew it was a pivotal time in my life.
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: You knew that.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: I didn't have to tell you that you've been my
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: age before. You know, you're gonna send me a letter.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Like get out of here with that bullshit.
• 24:42
  Speaker 5: So he sent your letter before m H And how
• 24:47
  Speaker 5: long after you see the letter.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: You Well, somehow the police ended up with the letter
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: when they contacted my mom and let her know everything
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: that happened and all of that. I don't know if
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: he sent it to somewhere where he thought I was
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: before or whatever whatever it was, but the police had
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: the letter, and I told him just keep that shit.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna read that, you know what I mean? Like,
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: what are we talking about?
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: Like, and was there a letter today? Your other siblings,
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: your other your sister, and your brother?
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: It was just you, yep, yep.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: My brother he got a different dad and his whole
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: situation is different. But my brother's nine years younger than me,
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: and my sister's four years older than me.
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: So it was like.
• 25:29
  Speaker 4: I was the middle child, but I was living my
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: own life, you know.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: What I mean. I was definitely on my own type
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: of time. So yeah, man, it.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Was so how did you process that as been a
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: fifteen year old kid, dad who has just passed my
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: way of suicide? Like did you understand what he did
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: at fifteen? And how like what was that process for you?
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: I immediately start selling drugs after that, you know, because
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: my mom, like she was a praying mother. My mom
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: was a really good mom, you know, but she ain't
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: never really have shit though, feel me. So you know,
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: we would go to school after the holidays and our
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: shoes were still raggedy, and you know, before we start
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: wearing uniforms and shit to school, we was wearing the
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: same clothes and we weren't dirty, but like we was
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: like the step before dirty, like she keep you clean
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: with your dirty though, you know what I mean. It
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: was kind of like that was what my childhood was like.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: So me and my sister were very aggressive when people
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: would try to talk about us because we got good hearts,
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: but like you play with me, I'm gonna beat you
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: up flat out, you know what I mean. And we
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: kind of got that reputation pretty early. But then, you know,
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: when I got old enough to start catching the bus
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: and going to the mall by myself and all of that,
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: you know, I steal something here and h but my
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: mama wasn't having it, like let me find out you
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: stealing it, Let me find out, you know. So I
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: would like still something had to hide it, you know
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: what I mean, and put it in my booksack and
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: then put put the jersey on this back.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: And we was willing to throw back jerseys and ship
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: So I had to put the journey in my bag
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: and then put it on at school and all of that.
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: My mom was just was not going for it, you know.
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: So once I realized that, like, you know, because when
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: you're that age, you kind of feel like if my
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: mom and my dad were together, and my mom wouldn't
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: have these issues, so I wouldn't have these issues. And
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: all of that was kind of related to money to me, you.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: Know what I mean.
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: So immediately once I found out he wasn't coming back,
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna get some money to the streets.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Here we go. How long?
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: How long were you in the streets?
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: Uh?
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: Put it like this.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: When I booked straight out of Compton, my baby mama
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: still was catching pops for me, Like I was have
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: to answer the phone in my trailer like go give
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: him this, and I was, so I was.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: So basically, you didn't stop hustling til you got off
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: with acting. Facts and how did the acting come about?
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Like like were you were you just like doing auditions
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: here and there or was it acting something that interests you?
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: Were you in theater like.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: You know, I was like I always thought I was talented,
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like when I was in
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: high school, we used to be on that battle rap
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: real heavy, you know what I mean.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: And you know there's like a performance element to that.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: But I always like music was like kind of my
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: first love, you know, but I didn't think that my
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: voice was there. Like I had so many insecurities when
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: it came to some music. But people would literally come
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: get me out of class and be like, man, nigga
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: thinks he could rap and not get on they ass,
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like I was one of
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: those people in New Orleans, like they'll come get me
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: the battle rap people, you know. But I was riding
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: with one of my partners because see like okay, so
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: my best friend, well at the time he got killed,
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: I was like twenty three years old, right.
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: And.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: His girlfriend knew everything that happened, so of course she
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: told the police everything that happened.
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: Of course they showed.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: Up to my house.
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: In my world, I just felt like my world was
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: closing it, you know, and he got killed by some
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: other dudes that he was hanging with. And you know
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: how that go, Like they don't know if you're gonna
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: tell or if you're gonna retaliate and just so it
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: was just a lot of tension, you know. So I
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: was just like, damn, I feel like I need some
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: new friends, you know. So I ended up hearing this
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: this ad on the radio, this lady named Jacqueline Fleming
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: shout out to her. She uh she she came to
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: New Orleans and started this acting class or whatever.
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: And I heard it on the radio, and me and
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: my friends joked about it.
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: They were like, you should go do it because I
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: always be switching up at sense and you know, I
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: like to laugh, you know what I mean.
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: Today it's like, you should do it, bro, fuck that rap.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: You should try to be in movies.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: So I'm like, you know whatever. We all laughed about it,
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: but you know, we just riding around on bullshit, smoking
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: weed and shit, you know, you know, doing what young
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: people do, you know what I mean, just riding around aimlessly.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: So maybe like a week or two later, my partner
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: asked me, like, bro, whatever happened to the acting class,
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Like how did it go?
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: Did you go?
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: I was like, nigga, I was driving, nobody wrote the
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: number down, Like what are y'all talking about?
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: I just thought it was a joke. He remembered the
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: number off the top of his head.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Bro took it as a sign from God. I was like, wow, nigga,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: if this nigga.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Cause he was like my weed head pot them too,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: like he yeah, he remembered what needs to be remember
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: the kind of guy, you know what I mean.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: So I end up going to the class.
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: I wore like a three piece suit and everything, trying
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: to cover up all my tattoos and shit, and went
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: down there and.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: Tried to act like I was a class act, you
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? I mean, And.
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: You know I was just I just wanted to be
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: in the class because I was thinking they probably got.
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: Some niggas went into what him into and probably got
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: a couple of bad ones in here, you know what
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: Like, let me let me see what I could do.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: So I went Bro and I fell in love with him.
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: I get into the.
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: Class and it was supposed to be like an eight
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: week class, right and five weeks into it, I ended
• 31:24
  Speaker 3: up getting signed, getting an agent.
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: Wow.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like all.
• 31:27
  Speaker 4: Happened super fast, you know what I mean.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Like I'd like to take some credit for it, but
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: it really ain't. Nobody but God, you know what I mean,
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: it was one.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: Of those situations that like he was like, let me
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: take him out of this and let you know because
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: I was at that point where God had to start
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: revealing himself to me for me to have a real
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: relationship with him.
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: Because I was running around with a lot of anger,
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean?
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: You know how that is.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: We could like, yeah, we got to hold all that,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: you know how that go because you know you said
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: something because he won't reveal him himself to you until
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: he wants you to see you here.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so talk to me. What you what you mean
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: by that exactly?
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: Just here with Doctor J, a production of the Black
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: Effect podcast Network. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: favorite shows. And you can follow me at King J.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: Barnett on Instagram and x and follow us on YouTube.
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: Just here, Doctor J.