Latest / Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women / Why Hating Yourself for Being Sick Is Keeping You From Healing — And What Women With Chronic Illness and Autoimmune Disease Need to Do Instead

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Why Hating Yourself for Being Sick Is Keeping You From Healing — And What Women With Chronic Illness and Autoimmune Disease Need to Do Instead · Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women

• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Hill Yourself with the Law of Attraction.
• 0:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Tecla, and I'm ready to guide you in a transformative journey of holistic health and self-discovery using the power of the law of attraction.
• 0:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: We've all heard tales of manifesting fortunes and jet-set adventures.
• 0:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: But this, this is a different journey.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here we focus on achieving abundant health, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: With the law of attraction, I've healed chronic pain, overcome a diagnosed mental illness, and reverse PCOS.
• 0:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: We're all about realigning our energies to manifest our full potential.
• 0:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: As we focus inward, raising your vibration, you'll be astounded by the ease at which the universe responds.
• 0:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: Once you focus on yourself, the rest just falls into place.
• 0:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: My goal for each weekly episode is to provide you with practical, easy to apply steps that you can weave directly into your daily routine.
• 0:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: Together, we'll navigate the path to achieving your own health and wellness goals.
• 1:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's dive right in.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Hello my wellness witches, I'm your host Tecla.
• 1:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is he all yourself with the law of attraction.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: And today, I'm excited to report, I am in my strong hot girl summer era right now, and I'm living for it.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_00]: As you know, I reverse my chronic illness as a while ago, and I was in a maintenance phase for a hot minute.
• 1:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm super grateful to say my health isn't such a great place right now, like really genuinely solid.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: And it just feels really amazing to be in a season where I'm not focused on managing anything.
• 1:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: I actually have this space to think about what I want.
• 1:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: And right now, I want to feel strong.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: I want to get back into a shape I love.
• 1:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've been lifting again eating whole foods tracking my protein, which by the way, all women should be doing and takes way more effort than it should, but I am doing it.
• 1:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm in a rhythm and this season of life isn't about getting better or reducing inflammation or fixing anything.
• 2:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's just about finally having the freedom to take things to the next level.
• 2:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: I get to focus on building a strong lean body and I'm so excited about it, so that's where I'm at, and I'm really proud.
• 2:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Honestly, getting to this place has made me reflect a lot on how I used to treat the version of me who wasn't doing this well.
• 2:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: I've been thinking a lot about that girl who was struggling and the one who couldn't show up the way she wanted and felt broken and sick and lost.
• 2:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: I wanted so badly to just not be her anymore, and I didn't realize it at the time, but I was trying to heal by getting as far away from her as I could.
• 2:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you're in that place right now where you're frustrated or stuck or trying to get back to who you were before everything changed, this episode is for you.
• 2:52
  [SPEAKER_00]: Because here's what I now know, healing doesn't happen when you hate the version of you who's sick.
• 2:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean surface-level frustration.
• 3:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, actually resenting her, wanting to get rid of her, acting like she ruined your life.
• 3:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: Look, some of you probably don't even realize you're doing it, but if you're constantly comparing yourself to who you used to be, if every symptom makes you feel like you're broken.
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you keep saying things like, I just want to get back to normal, you're not trying to support the version of you who's struggling.
• 3:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're trying to escape her.
• 3:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that energy girl, that's internal rejection, it's the opposite of what we're looking for.
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: It keeps you stuck in a loop where nothing you do feels like it's working because deep down you're still making this version of you the enemy.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: Look which is I get it.
• 3:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You missed the version of you who had more energy, who could just say yes to any plans on the fly, who wasn't constantly
• 3:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, you don't get back to her by fighting where you are right now.
• 4:01
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's what you need to understand, okay?
• 4:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Every time you try to get rid of the version of you who's sick, you create more stress in your body.
• 4:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: And your body doesn't respond to that with healing.
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: It responds by shutting down, survival mode, symptom flare ups, emotional turmoil.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not because you're doing something wrong, but because on a subconscious level, you're saying, this version of me isn't safe, and I need her gone now.
• 4:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the body will never fully heal in an environment where part of you is being rejected.
• 4:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: If you feel like you're not making progress when it comes to healing, it's probably not the protocol.
• 4:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's the pressure you're putting on yourself to be anybody but who you are right now in this moment.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: And until you stop doing that, no supplement, no treatment, no healing practice is going to work the way you want it to.
• 4:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, let's talk about what probably feels like a total complete contradiction.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've heard me say before, you have to step into the version of you who is healing.
• 5:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to make decisions from her energy.
• 5:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You have to shift your identity, not just your actions.
• 5:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's still true, okay?
• 5:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: But now I'm also saying you can't do that and reject the version of you who's sick.
• 5:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: And you're probably thinking, wait, so I'm supposed to become her, but also accept the version of me right now.
• 5:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: How does this even make sense?
• 5:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Here's how it works.
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't become the healed version of you by ditching the sick one.
• 5:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've become her by changing how you treat the version of you who's here right now.
• 5:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: That version of you, the one who's tired, scared, frustrated.
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's not in the way.
• 5:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's the part of you that needs your guidance
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: When you respond to her with kindness, with patience, with calm and set of panic, that is you stepping into the healed version.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not bypassing your current experience, you're showing up in it differently.
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the difference.
• 6:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the shift.
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're not faking it.
• 6:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're just not fighting with yourself anymore.
• 6:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when your energy starts to change.
• 6:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure you're probably thinking, what does this actually look like in real life?
• 6:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: So I'm gonna give into a couple of examples to help.
• 6:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's say it's Thursday.
• 6:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: You've had a couple of good days in a row.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your energy's been decent.
• 6:31
  [SPEAKER_00]: Digestion hasn't been a total disaster and you've actually been in a good mood.
• 6:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're thinking, okay, maybe I'm finally getting somewhere.
• 6:40
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you say yes to dinner with a friend.
• 6:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You eat a full meal, you stay out a bit later than usual, you laugh, you have fun,
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Then you wake up Friday.
• 6:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: Some things off, you're bloated, you're tired, your brain's foggy, your body feels heavy.
• 6:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: And immediately your mind goes, why did I go out?
• 7:00
  [SPEAKER_00]: I ruined everything, this is my fault.
• 7:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the moment where almost everybody turns inward and starts trashing themselves.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_00]: You blame yourself for making a choice that by the way, you're meant to make.
• 7:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: You're meant to go out, you're meant to enjoy life.
• 7:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the point.
• 7:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Feeling off the next day doesn't mean you messed it all up.
• 7:22
  [SPEAKER_00]: It just means your body is adjusting.
• 7:24
  [SPEAKER_00]: It means you did something outside your comfort zone.
• 7:27
  [SPEAKER_00]: It means you're learning how to live again.
• 7:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: But when you make it means something it doesn't, like you make it mean you're broken or you did something wrong, that's when you go to war with yourself.
• 7:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what keeps you trapped in an identity of illness.
• 7:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not hating the version of you who's in progress means you can feel off and still support yourself.
• 7:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can feel off and not make it a crisis.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: So you get out of bed.
• 7:55
  [SPEAKER_00]: You eat your breakfast, you go for a light walk, you show up like someone who doesn't take one day off as a personal failure.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the move which is not abandoning yourself just because your body feels a little bit different today.
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about another example.
• 8:14
  [SPEAKER_00]: One of my clients actually just went through this, so it's timely.
• 8:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: Her close friend was having a bachelor at weekend.
• 8:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, think multi-day trip, full itinerary, bottomless brunch, the works.
• 8:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: She really wanted to go, but she knew her body wasn't there yet.
• 8:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: She knew the flights, the late nights, the nonstop socializing would leave her wiped out for more than a week.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she's been doing the work.
• 8:38
  [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't want to undo it all for the sake of pretending she was fine.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: So she made the decision to not go.
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: But the whole weekend, she's spiraling, watching the Instagram stories, feeling behind telling herself she was missing out on memory you should never get back.
• 8:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the part that's important.
• 8:57
  [SPEAKER_00]: She didn't just feel sad, okay?
• 8:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: She started resenting the version of her who needs rest.
• 9:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: The one who caught Rally, the one who always misses out, the one who's healing too slowly.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the moment we're talking about.
• 9:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: You made the decision your body needed, but now you're turning on yourself for needing it.
• 9:17
  [SPEAKER_00]: This is the kind of self-rejection that keeps you stuck because you're not just navigating healing, you're hating the version of you who's trying.
• 9:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: And she's the one carrying you through all of this.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's not the problem.
• 9:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's the reason you're still here.
• 9:33
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're in that place where you're missing out, you're frustrated and you're tied of having to say no, do not turn that frustration in word.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to love this part of the journey, but don't punish the version of you who's doing her best to get you through it.
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: So, if you're listening to this thinking shit, this is exactly what I've been doing, I'm turning on myself, then this is the real work.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: First of all, you have to stop trying to emotionally outrun this version of you.
• 10:05
  [SPEAKER_00]: The pressure to get better fast.
• 10:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: The panic every time something clear is up.
• 10:09
  [SPEAKER_00]: That deep, quiet urgency, just to not be this person anymore, that's keeping you trapped.
• 10:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: And the antidote isn't positive thinking.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's being present.
• 10:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: You just need to sit with the part of yourself that's tired, that's disappointed, that's grieving.
• 10:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: Literally just sit for a moment, close your eyes and just ask, how can I co-exist with this version of me right now and not push her away?
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what she needs.
• 10:37
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not a new plan, not a new protocol, not another version of you that's just trying to fix her.
• 10:43
  [SPEAKER_00]: She needs to know you're not about to ditch her again.
• 10:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number two, I want you to watch your language.
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_00]: Literally, pay attention to how you talk to yourself when things feel off.
• 10:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Do you say things like, oh, I ruined it again or I'm back at square one or this always happens.
• 11:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: your nervous system is listening, your subconscious mind is listening.
• 11:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when you narrate your healing like a disaster, your body stays in survival mode.
• 11:13
  [SPEAKER_00]: What if instead you said something like, I'm having myself a day, it's allowed, or this isn't the end of anything.
• 11:21
  [SPEAKER_00]: or I can handle this without turning it into a fucking crisis.
• 11:26
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's not toxic positivity, okay?
• 11:28
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's leadership.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's you leading yourself instead of abandoning yourself, the second things get uncomfortable.
• 11:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Number three, I want you to shift your goal, okay?
• 11:39
  [SPEAKER_00]: If your goal is to just get rid of this version of you, you're gonna fail.
• 11:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: You'll get trapped in a loop of progress panic over correction and burn out and shame and start it all over again.
• 11:51
  [SPEAKER_00]: So change the goal.
• 11:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Instead of trying to become someone else, ask, how can it become the version of me who stays kind to herself, even when it's hard?
• 12:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's what moves you forward.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: That's the identity shift that creates real progress.
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_00]: And if you're listening to this and thinking, okay, again, but I want more help to actually start doing this, that's exactly what I created my seven-day audio series for, becoming the version of you who heals.
• 12:20
  [SPEAKER_00]: It walks you through how to stop turning on yourself in these moments and how to actually start leading the version of you who's struggling instead of trying to escape her.
• 12:30
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can listen to what like a private podcast, the links in the show notes if you're interested.
• 12:34
  [SPEAKER_00]: I like to connect back to the Universal Laws in every episode because these are the patterns that explain why this work matters.
• 12:44
  [SPEAKER_00]: When things feel hard or confusing, these laws give us context.
• 12:48
  [SPEAKER_00]: They help you understand what's happening under the surface behind the scenes, emotionally energetically and spiritually.
• 12:56
  [SPEAKER_00]: So let's bring it back to two that really apply here.
• 12:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: The first one is the law of rhythm.
• 13:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: Everything moves in cycles.
• 13:04
  [SPEAKER_00]: Your emotions, your energy, your healing.
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_00]: There will be good days, and there will be heavier and harder days.
• 13:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: There will be good weeks, and then there will be really confusing ones.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_00]: And when you expect healing to only move in one direction in one way, every little dip-board detour feels like a failure.
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_00]: but it's not a setback, it's a rhythm.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_00]: The goal isn't to never take a dip or a dive.
• 13:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: The goal is to stop punishing yourself every time it happens.
• 13:36
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, the second law I wanna talk about is the law of polarity.
• 13:41
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't feel strong without knowing what it's like to feel weak.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_00]: You can't become the version of you who trusts her body without first facing all the ways you've learned not to.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_00]: These parts of you are not in the way, they're the entry point.
• 13:58
  [SPEAKER_00]: So stop trying to escape the version of you who's still learning.
• 14:02
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's not holding you back.
• 14:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: She's the reason you're gonna get there.
• 14:06
  [SPEAKER_00]: Okay, witches, go and have a look at the private podcast now if this episode really hit home for you.
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_00]: It's how you take this work to the next level.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_00]: Not all for today, peace, love, and mong beans.
• 14:19
  [SPEAKER_00]: Bye.