Latest / STOPTIME: Live in the Moment. / Arielle Jacobs: The Sweetness of Slowing Down

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Arielle Jacobs: The Sweetness of Slowing Down · STOPTIME: Live in the Moment.

• 0:23
  Lisa Hopkins: This is the stop time podcast. I'm your host, Lisa Hopkins, and I'm here to engage you in thought provoking motivational conversations around practicing the art of living in the moment. I'm a certified life coach, and I'm excited to dig deep and offer insights into embracing who we are and where we are at.
• 0:47
  Lisa Hopkins: My next guest made her Broadway debut starring opposite creator Lin Manuel Miranda. In the final Broadway cast of the four time Tony and Grammy Award winning musical in the heights. Her Broadway career continued with starring roles in Wicked, Rent High School Musical and into the woods, where she performed opposite Emmy nominated actor Titus Burgess. She was most recently seen on Broadway as Princess Jasmine in Disney's Aladdin praised as compelling and radiant by Variety magazine, and powerful by the New York Times, she has been called one of the greatest theatre artists of our generation with a powerful voice who could sing her way to world peace. It is with great pleasure that I introduce you all to Arielle Jacobs. Welcome.
• 1:34
  Arielle Jacobs: Hi, thank you for having me.
• 1:36
  Lisa Hopkins: So where are you calling in from today?
• 1:38
  Arielle Jacobs: I live in New York City, just on the just in Queens right across from the United Nations right on the East River.
• 1:45
  Lisa Hopkins: And have you been there? All the way through the pandemic, Were you in New York?
• 1:48
  Arielle Jacobs: No, I actually.
• 1:48
  Arielle Jacobs: So right when pandemic happened, it was four days after my wedding. And and I had two weeks left to play Jasmine and Aladdin on Broadway. So right after my wedding, I had three shows as Jasmine was supposed to be my final two weeks. And after the third show, we got the call that everything was shutting down. So at first I thought it was like gonna be a few days. So I kept, you know, messaging my stage manager, like, when are we coming back? Because I thought I would get a few more shows in because I didn't know it was my last show when it was my last show. And and then when they kind of announced it would be at least 30 days, I thought, well, and I'm not that was it? My show my contract was going to be up in two weeks. So that's it. So I was supposed to go right into a new show "between the lines" that Jody Picoult wrote, and I was supposed to go right into that off Broadway, but then that, of course, got postponed.
• 2:44
  Arielle Jacobs: So my husband and I decided to leave New York City, we decided I was getting really freaked out. Because we live in a high rise building with a lot of shared space. And at the time, I was really worried about I we kind of you know, everyone had a hunch that COVID was circulating through the air. But I didn't know how bad it was like, could it come through the vents from an apartment above me through the air vents into my apartment.
• 3:11
  Arielle Jacobs: And we share elevators, you know, every time I take my dog out for a walk, I'm in a shared small space. So we decided to leave. And thank God his family, he lives his family's in Miami.
• 3:21
  Arielle Jacobs: He's from Miami. And his dad has an extra guest house that just sits there for family when people come to visit. So we had really, we got really lucky because we could drive down there. Stay in this house is empty house. And they had an extra car we could use. So we lived in Miami for six months.
• 3:42
  Arielle Jacobs: And we didn't see anybody even there we were right across the street from his family. And we didn't see them hardly at all, like we waved sometimes if they were walking by but we didn't hang out with anyone for six months. And that was our, our honeymoon
• 4:02
  Lisa Hopkins: I was gonna say what about the honeymoon, but but kind of good timing in a way, right? I mean, from that point of view,
• 4:09
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah, from that point of view, it was okay.And it was, you know, a beautiful place to be in sunshine. And Miami is like perfect weather all the time. So it was we were so lucky. And I felt really calm. I felt almost guilty, because everyone in New York that I knew was really really, really struggling. And I get that because in New York, it's really hard if you can't leave your apartment, which is a shoe box. And some people are, you know, have roommates. And so everybody's in a shared space in a tight space with so much uncertainty and fear. And for us we were you know, we were in like a two bedroom house with each other and lots of space and fresh air and sunshine and and then we decided to come back after six months. I think just because, you know, it seemed that was you know, before Delta came out and we were like, okay, thank things feel like New York's not as bad. And yeah, so we came back here and, you know, struggled through the winter of New York City winters but but it wasn't as scary, especially with the news of the VAX coming out and everything.
• 5:24
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, absolutely. Oh, thanks for sharing that. That's really interesting. I'm kind of glad I asked. I had no idea that.. you said four days after your wedding this, this all happened?
• 5:35
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah, we got really lucky because the day after our wedding, we found out that every other wedding in we got married in Tulum in Mexico, okay, apparently, you know, weddings into them all the time.
• 5:46
  Arielle Jacobs: It's such a poppin popular place, but then apparently, every wedding for the rest of 2020 got canceled the day after ours. So,
• 5:56
  Lisa Hopkins: So much has shifted right, since since the pandemic, which is obviously still here. But since that time, what has shifted for you and your world? Like what are the some of the major shifts that that you've sort of observed?
• 6:11
  Arielle Jacobs: Oh, a lot of a lot has happened for me personally, during pandemic as well, I lost my father in February. So getting used to that difference it's weird. I don't really, I haven't talked about it a lot. So it's bringing up a lot of feelings. But aside from aside from that, and losing, you know, such an integral part of my life, I think I have had a lot of positive growth in the vision of what I can see for my future outside of performing.And I think that I always had a vision that I would do more than just performing. But I think now I have now it's really, really, really clear. And very close on the horizon. I'm, I'm currently about to launch two businesses that have nothing to do with performing. Because I, my husband says, acting is a beautiful way to make a life and a terrible way to make a living.
• 7:35
  Arielle Jacobs: It's just not a lot of financial security in this career. And, and I always knew that, but I always just had faith, like, I'm going to get another job, and then I'll pay off my debt. And I think now now I'm taking more control of that situation. So I think pandemic, and being married to a really genius man who has a business mind, he's an actor as well, but he just, he, his father is a businessman, and he just has that mind. And I think that pandemic has shifted me to not just being an artist, and an actor and a singer, but really being a multi business woman, entrepreneur, I have had ideas in the past that I didn't know how to what to do, or how to launch and now I'm taking steps towards that. And I think having the space to do it, and Pandemic really does. It made a huge change was I was able to focus on it. So I feel like I've grown three dimensionally. A lot.
• 8:45
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, no, absolutely. I can hear that. And it's, it sounds like it's sort of a vision that that was on the back burner, kind of looming, right? Kind of simmering maybe in your life, but you're doing so well. And you're young and you know, things you strike me as a very sort of, you know, go with the flow, things are going well. So let's just keep going in that direction, sort of person. And, and that this shone light on not fear, not like oh my god, like, you know, some people say, acting is, you know, not the best, it's not secure.
• 9:16
  Lisa Hopkins: When I hit a certain age I need to move towards. I'm not hearing that at all, from you. I'm really hearing that this is an opportunity for for me to actually focus on the things that are part of me, you know, not not out of fear or not have a fear that it'll never come back, but rather about, oh, I've got time now. Let's see where this goes. Talk to me a little bit about that. Does that land for you?
• 9:39
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah, and it's funny, I never thought that I would. You know, you mentioned like, a lot of people think you get to a certain age and you're gonna have to shift into something else. And I don't feel like that I don't ever feel like I'll have to stop performing or singing or acting. I mean, even when I'm much older and there's fewer roles, I think there will be fewer opportunities, but I'm not going to stop and because I know that it's like well what else How else will I spend my time doing what I love what else do I love? And what else do I love that can create wealth for my you know, for my family and yes, I had a lot of time during pandemic to, to kind of create those things. And I guess I did before too, but my mind was, my mind was, you know, focused on the shows I was doing and wanting to learn and prepare.
• 10:31
  Arielle Jacobs: And there's so much that goes into preparing for a show before you're on that stage. And even when you're on that stage, I was in Aladdin for two years on Broadway. That was my longest Broadway contract. Because before I was in Wicked for a year, and I did in the heights for a couple months after my national tour, where that was a year long. And so that being in a show, even when the rehearsals are done, there's not a lot of brainpower because you have, so you have to put so much into that performance every night.
• 11:05
  Arielle Jacobs: That it's, I find it hard to do other things at the same time.
• 11:11
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah, unless it's more performing, I guess, because that's the same road. Because a lot of times, I'll be in a show at night, but then during the day, I'm in rehearsals for a brand new musical that someone's working on. So but those are like similar avenues.
• 11:24
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, same part of the brain,
• 11:27
  Arielle Jacobs: same part of the brain, and one helps the other, if I'm in rehearsal for a new project, my performances at that same like that night, and that following week, are so fresh, because I've you know, shifted into, you know, acting up off of new people with new material.
• 11:41
  Arielle Jacobs: And that just gets me my, my reactions, and I think my reactions are different, I think differently. Words will hit me differently. When I'm in a show, I'll be much more present. So um, so yeah, but but in terms of really creating a side business.
• 11:58
  Arielle Jacobs: I know people have done it, I just haven't been one of them.
• 12:07
  Lisa Hopkins: Yay! It's very exciting. No, it's very exciting. So I'm just curious, like, what, what values do you think cross over that, that you're still serving in whatever it is, you can either share or not share. But whatever the the non sort of theater track things that you're going to pursue,
• 12:24
  Arielle Jacobs: I'll go back to what you're saying just a second ago about feeling like you don't miss it. That's an interesting thing. Because I have so many friends during pandemic who didn't know who they are, they lost their identity, they couldn't perform, and they didn't know who they were. And I didn't feel like that at all. I, I love acting and performing.
• 12:45
  Arielle Jacobs: But if I can't do it, I haven't lost myself. And it doesn't mean I don't love it, I absolutely love it. And when I get to do it, I light up inside. And I for the next week, I'm about to do a reading for any musical in the room. Together, I've done some readings over zoom over pandemic, but this is a different show, in the room with all the creative team and all the actors, we had to do our COVID You know, PCR tests and prove our vaccination status and all of that. But I, I am the giddy at the thought of being in the room with people. So it's not like, it's not like, Oh, I didn't, I didn't feel like I lost anything when it couldn't perform. So maybe I shouldn't be doing it. It's not like that at all. No. But I think what I, gosh, what I love about acting, and the values that I hold, that I am bringing into other parts of my life, and the other things that I'm building, I think it's all about self expression. I think what I love about acting, and singing is being able to express I found on a personal level that I It feels vulnerable to express things in my real life. So when I'm given a character who has to express things, I go so fully into it, because it's a, I'm allowed to, and encouraged to. So in my characters, when they're feeling something I am in it, and I am really feeling it so I can communicate it. Because I'm allowed to and encouraged to because I'm an actor, but then in my real life, in my real life, you know, if I'm really feeling something, and I suppose a lot of people feel this way, you know, the other things that I'm doing besides acting, they it's not like I am expressing my emotions in those things, but it is expressing something. One, you know, one is just like getting, so one of the businesses is is a wellness company that my husband and I are building. It's called Sanctavia, which is a made up word. It means the way of the sanctuary. And it's a it's a longevity practice. That's a lot of stuff combined together like How to figure out what your body does and how to make it, how to have the best quality of life you physically can for your whole life. And that business is also about expression. It's about being able to express having the capability and facility to express yourself throughout your whole life. And, you know, the other business I'm doing is a little more creative.
• 15:47
  Arielle Jacobs: I'm doing have a rescue dog that we got three years ago, and I was trying to figure out what to call him on Instagram. So he can have an Instagram page. And I was in Aladdin, my castmate Don Jon Rivera, he said, Well, what are you going to call him the Broadway pup, and I was like, that's good to call the Broadway poppin. And I thought, I'm going to find him all this Broadway gear, I'm gonna take pictures of him and all these Broadway things to like, promote him online. And that not that they don't exist. There's a lot of theater Broadway related merch for humans, but not for animals.
• 16:30
  Arielle Jacobs: So that's my other business I'm starting is like Broadway related doggie accessories. It's a huge outlet of self expression for me, because I love Broadway, I love my dog. I am being creative in that way. That is a that's a value that I've always held really close to my heart, because I find it very gosh, I think self expression is the route to happiness. In a lot of way, I think that's why theater helps a lot of kids, you know, they get to express what's inside of them. I think that journaling helps people. I think therapy helps people. Because being able to express what's inside of yourself self expression, if you really let it fully out, you know, without judging it. That's, I feel like that's the surest way to have a happy life. And you are gonna judge it sometimes. Because it's, you know, you get self critical and you doubt yourself, and you don't know if you what you're doing is good enough to your own standards, but also good enough other people's standards, and bla bla bla bla bla, yeah. Yeah. For me, that's one of my most important values.
• 18:05
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, it's true. A lot of us go into the business to express ourselves either via, you know, a character or you know, or a piece of art or you know, like using that as a tool.
• 18:17
  Lisa Hopkins: But once we become professionals, the limiting beliefs behind what it's supposed to look like, including you need to be suffering.
• 18:25
  Arielle Jacobs: Haha. Right.
• 18:31
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, I found an article. I don't know. Well, I'm curious about this. I found an article it was from 10 years ago, like it was from, you know, from when you were doing Nina.
• 18:40
  Lisa Hopkins: And I'm curious to know, if it still resonates with you. Do you mind if I if I share what you said and Okay, cool. So he said, I'm very hard on myself. And I always try to fix my problems on my own. Just like Nina in the show like her. I have a tendency to isolate myself in times of stress, and close off from the people who love me most.
• 19:03
  Arielle Jacobs: Still true.
• 19:03
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah. It's not that I shut...When I shut people out, it's not on purpose. It's not like, I'm refusing to talk to somebody because I, you know, I feel badly. Like my mom texted me six times yesterday. And I but I was so busy that I didn't respond to any of them. And I feel like that is what it feels like when I when I quote shut people out. It's like, I feel so I feel the weight of like trying to, to finish the task that's in front of me that I can't deal with that right now. I can't deal with the wrist like responding. Because if I get out of the zone of finishing the thing I'm looking at, then it's going to be this back and forth and I won't be able to get in the zone again to finish the thing I need to finish. And then the I guess that there are some times when when I feel it's if I if I'm struggling with something and I could use the help it gets it depends on what it is. If it's something that I know someone else has mastery in and they can help me then I'll help them ask for the help. But if it's like a personal issue that I just need to figure out on my own, then I tend to keep it in and just try to figure it out on my own. Or not. Because I, I also don't like to look at things that need figuring out I kind of just like, sometimes wait to see if they'll go away.
• 20:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, I love that.
• 20:49
  Lisa Hopkins: That's so interesting to me.
• 20:52
  Arielle Jacobs: It's funny I I often get asked like, what did I go to college for? And you know, when I was in high school, I wanted to, I love science. I was terrified by climate change. And I want to save the planet because I love Mother Earth. And I applied to several schools for environmental science, because I thought maybe I'll go into being a lobbyist and like, try and save the planet. And then I applied to several schools for music, because I love singing and theater. And I don't know what I would have done if I got into bolt multiple schools, but I wasn't given the choice. The universe gave me acceptance to all the music schools I wanted, and zero of the science schools I applied to. And I feel relief.
• 21:37
  Arielle Jacobs: When that happens to me. So much relief. I'm like, Ah, the universe has decided I'm on the right path. This is where I'm supposed to go. And I get like, confidence from that. But yeah, I when the choice is actually mine. That's when I get the paralysis by analysis. Yep, we're talking about oh, gosh, but then this but then there's but well, then what of this?
• 22:04
  Arielle Jacobs: Well, that I learned the best one of the best lessons of my life. I got from Fred Applegate, who was playing the wizard when I was in Wicked. And he had a dressing room right next to mine. So we were always talking about life. And one day, he said, You know what, you worry a lot. You got to stop borrowing trouble. I was like, what does that mean? He said, You know, you keep borrowing trouble. You keep looking to the future, thinking about possible things that could go wrong and putting that possible thing in the present. And you're borrowing trouble from the future and putting it now because you think that if you put it now you can have some control over the situation that might happen. And I was like, wow, that's really true. I do that. I do that. And it helped me so much. Because I realized that I have no control over the things that might happen. There's no way for me to know what might happen. And the things that that will happen are never things you can plan for.
• 23:08
  Arielle Jacobs: So borrowing trouble is just a loop that makes you feel like you're doing something but you're not doing anything.
• 23:22
  Lisa Hopkins: Absolutely, that's I love that. That is such a wonderful way to put it. Right.
• 23:25
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, with a lesson what a gift he gave you. Yeah, for sure. Oh, my gosh, that's amazing. Yeah, no, absolutely. Well, it brings us beautifully segues us beautifully into the What is your current definition and of living in the moment?
• 23:43
  Arielle Jacobs: So I was doing this thing when I was in pandemic worlds in quarantine.
• 23:46
  Arielle Jacobs: And it put me perfectly in the moment, and it's something I've never done before. And I was talking to a friend about it.
• 23:56
  Arielle Jacobs: She's like, how did you even come up with this? Whatever you've been doing this, but I like to do this thing my husband calls, combining treaties, where I will take two things I really like and do them at the same time. And one of those things that I love is taking a hot shower, and eating dark chocolate. So I will take a piece of dark chocolate.
• 24:19
  Arielle Jacobs: Whenever I go to the shower, I put a piece of dark chocolate right outside the shower curtain. And after I'm all in the shower and lathered up, and I'm relaxing, I take the dark chocolate, and I just savor it in the shower. And I combine my treats. And I was talking to a friend of mine and I said have you ever tried combining two different senses that you wouldn't think of focusing on at the same time? Like how something tastes and how something feels or how something tastes while you're hearing while you're focusing on how something sounds? Or how something sounds where you're focusing on something smells or how something sounds while you're focusing on house at the texture of the seat that you're sitting on. And so I was like experimenting with combining sensory awareness. Yeah. And I found it put me so in the moment that I was it it's crazy. For me, the, it just like felt like my, my, my brain kind of like woke up and time slowed down so much. And it gives you a not just an awareness of the world around you. But also, you know, I find one of the other things that helps me with that is when I want to my favorite things is to watch the clouds because I try to slow my inner world to the speed that the clouds are moving. And that puts me really in the moment as well. Because I go, go go go in life, and slowing down to the speed of nature. In terms of the clouds, but also like in terms of a tree or a plant, things grow slowly.
• 26:15
  Arielle Jacobs: And I think we are animals, and we used to be in tune with that speed. And I think we would go so fast. Now it's hard to remember that. So living in the moment for me is like, being able to really slow myself down to that slow speed. But then finding wonder and gratitude in that in that mix. Because it's one thing to slow yourself down and feel slow, but non emotional, or not. Anything that just brought up a lot of me because I've felt so many times in my life where I was like, got to a place where I felt like numb inside. And like not really responding to anything emotionally. So I don't want to go back there. I want to be in the place where everything has like, wow, this is so cool. And there's a lot of roads to roam.
• 27:14
  Arielle Jacobs: There's a lot of roads to get there. But for me, it's it's slowing myself down. I think the senses do that for me.
• 27:23
  Lisa Hopkins: You have you have such a beautiful energy you really do. And you're clearly you know, sort of a empathetic, humble person. But I want to I'm gonna ask you to put humility aside just for a moment and ask you to tell me what are your What are your unique gifts?
• 27:42
  Arielle Jacobs: Um, well, two things I think have come to come to my head. One is that I still feel childlike in a lot of ways.
• 27:57
  Arielle Jacobs: And in wonderful ways, not like naive. Oh, she's so naive. No, I feel like I still feel like a little girl running through the forest. Excited about the woods, I still feel I still play a lot.
• 28:15
  Arielle Jacobs: And I hope I always do. It's funny. I used to get really annoyed when people call me sweet, not annoyed. I like when people say I'm sweet. Because I I get that it's a nice thing.
• 28:29
  Arielle Jacobs: But um, but in my brain I thought sweet like, sweet means young. That's what my brain says. My mind says, Oh, they think you're sweet. Does that mean that I come off as young?
• 28:45
  Arielle Jacobs: And I like that I'm playful. And being goofy is something I learned from my dad. One of my, one of my last times I got to see him. We were saying goodbye in an airport. And he pokes me on the shoulder and he goes, boop. He starts laughing at himself. And he was like, You're such a nut. But I and I love that. I love that he still had that in his 70s he's like, why not be a goofball? Like, is cool. And he had so much self assuredness in who he was that he felt playful, even to the very end, like he never grew out of that. And I I love that about myself too. And I hope I don't grow out of it. Even if it makes me come across young, I don't care. I love it. The other thing that came to mind was I recently had a friend say you're just very non judgmental, right?
• 29:57
  Arielle Jacobs: You're just like a non judgmental person. Like people say things to you and you're just like, okay. Yeah, and I think that's true. I like no matter what anybody says to me.
• 30:07
  Arielle Jacobs: If they're feeling like I might judge them in some way. No, I don't. I don't think I have that quality or I don't go there. I'm just like, interesting. Wow.
• 30:23
  Arielle Jacobs: Whatever they say, I feel very open to it. And because it's true for them, and it's honest, and it's who they are, if someone is sharing something that's true and honest, I'm like, Why? Why would I judge that? What is there to judge?
• 30:42
  Arielle Jacobs: Hmm, it's vulnerable. I think that is a quality that I value in myself too.
• 30:49
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. It's interesting that other people would notice that you are not judgmental, like, they would notice that as a standout thing.
• 30:57
  Arielle Jacobs: And I know I, that's, it is weird. I mean, I have what do they expect that I'm going to say? Or like, say, look at them weird or whatever.
• 31:04
  Arielle Jacobs: But I don't know why anyone would.
• 31:11
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah, that's not who you are. That's not who you are. What do you know will be true about you, no matter what happens,
• 31:17
  Arielle Jacobs: I think no matter what happens, I'm always looking forward. And knowing that it'll turn out better than I think it will. I'm an eternal optimist in that way. And I've always been like that. I don't know where that comes from. But I tend to think that things are all for the best. And no matter what happens, I mean, there was one time when I did not think that that's because I had Bell's Palsy. And half my face was paralyzed, and I thought I wouldn't be able to ever perform ever again, then I didn't think that it was going to turn out for the best and all of that, because I wanted to keep performing.
• 32:04
  Lisa Hopkins: But now you can see the gift, right? I bet you can see the gift of that. Yeah.
• 32:06
  Lisa Hopkins: So what if you if that I'm going to stop you there for a second?
• 32:09
  Lisa Hopkins: If it's okay. So if that had not happened to you? And of course, in the moment you felt that way that you felt victimized by it, of course. But now from where you sit, if that had not happened? What would you not have learned or gained or what?
• 32:23
  Lisa Hopkins: What gift would you not have had?
• 32:28
  Arielle Jacobs: Oh, I definitely know the answer to that. I talked about it in my solo show.
• 32:30
  Arielle Jacobs: Actually. I was at a point in my acting career where I wanted to give up, I was disillusioned by the industry. I didn't feel like I was get making much progress.
• 32:49
  Arielle Jacobs: And it didn't feel the joy that I had for it when I first started out. So it gave me like, I guess what people got out of pandemic when they were like, give me a chance to step back.
• 33:00
  Arielle Jacobs: And I couldn't do it so that I had to reevaluate, do I still love it. That whole thing happened to me then that happened to me when I had Bell's Palsy. And I really discovered that I did love it. I discovered that I was I guess you know, not just the did I love it. And what did I was excited to keep acting and singing Yes. But also, the standard that we put ourselves the standards of beauty that society puts us to, has never been tested so much is when your face can't smile, and your eye can't blink and half of your face is sagging and the other half is not. And you're being able to to get that physical capability back where you can smile again and your face looks normal again, and you can express yourself expression.
• 33:56
  Arielle Jacobs: Express yourself because when you had Bell's Palsy, you couldn't actually talk and you're smart, couldn't smile and if you are joyful inside, nobody could see it because you just look lopsided. Like being able to have self expression again.
• 34:10
  Arielle Jacobs: And having that be so beautiful.
• 34:10
  Arielle Jacobs: Instead of what people tell you is beauty. Yeah, that brought me that too.
• 34:20
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh, absolutely.
• 34:20
  Lisa Hopkins: And it'd be hard as as a you know, as a someone like yourself who I'm sure has been told over and I mean, you're you are physically beautiful person by standards of you. I mean, yeah, right. I mean, you can
• 34:35
  Arielle Jacobs: To some standards and then other in the industry they're like Well, you're not like supermodel hot.
• 34:39
  Arielle Jacobs: You're more like sweet. Next girl next door pretty.
• 34:44
  Lisa Hopkins: Oh my gosh. Yeah.
• 34:44
  Lisa Hopkins: And you know the words the words like you know, we need to get granular with our words. We need to use our words more carefully because sweet to you is different than me sweet with the chocolate bar is different than sweet of licorice, which is different than I mean, you know, and it's it's, um, people need to just think they need to think before they speak, you know, but um, okay, let me can you finish this phrase? Most people think Arielle Jacobs is... but the truth is...
• 35:19
  Arielle Jacobs: Most people think Ariel Jacobs is a self-assured badass. But the truth is she only feels that way some of the time.
• 35:39
  Lisa Hopkins: And how does she How does she feel the rest of the time? Or some of the other times? Probably many ways this is a spectrum, I'm sure.
• 35:46
  Arielle Jacobs: The other times.
• 35:46
  Arielle Jacobs: Yeah, I think I live in a spectrum of have hesitancy to self confidence that is always moving. And I think I've had a lot of experiences in my life where I thought I was being nice and clear. And myself and self expressed, like we talked about, and but I get, you know, I get received a different way or perceived a different way. And because of that, I'm like, Oh, how do I? How can I communicate?
• 36:31
  Arielle Jacobs: Or express myself in a way that doesn't make people feel like I'm? I have a wall there. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. It's like I get tongue tied, writing emails. I get so nervous about how do I say this thing, but still come off friendly, but be direct. And, you know, say what I what I want, or say what I can offer if I'm doing like, a business thing. And then there's a whole like, have you seen those memes about emails written from a man versus written by from a woman? And it's like, putting too many exclamation points or like, I mean, I'm a I'm a positive person. And I'm an excitable person. And I get worried about not being taken seriously. Not just in emails, but in life because I sound young. My voice is young. I've been told I sound like I'm 12 I get that a lot. I get that a lot. And I guess it's the sweet right, the sweetness. My voice is healthy. It's not low. It's not damaged. It's healthy. And because it's healthy. And I have proper technique because I'm a singer. You know, I'd speak in a way that I think people Yeah, people just wouldn't take me seriously if if I sounded older or sounded like a man or was a man. So..
• 38:26
  Lisa Hopkins: it's just so interesting to me. Because it's obviously a very sweet spot. No, it's not. It's more of a sour spot for you. But it but am I am I don't know enough about you to know. But at some point in your life, did being sweet really help you - not being sweet, but being called Sweet considered sweet?
• 38:51
  Arielle Jacobs: Yes. Yeah.
• 38:54
  Lisa Hopkins: When did that stop working for you in the way that you feel aligned with? Because I'm sure it still works for you.
• 39:00
  Lisa Hopkins: I'm sure I'm sure. I'm sure the buzz in the industry is that oh my gosh, she's sweet. And people love that, oh, I want to work with her. But you don't like that? Clearly you don't like and I get that. So I'm just curious to know, like, at what point?
• 39:14
  Lisa Hopkins: Did you start noticing that it really was triggering for you a little bit?
• 39:18
  Arielle Jacobs: Well, only when people tell me I sound young.
• 39:20
  Arielle Jacobs: And I hear
• 39:22
  Lisa Hopkins: What's wrong with sounding young?
• 39:30
  Arielle Jacobs: I think it's harder for me to in terms of the businesses that I'm starting and things, I think it's a lot harder to be taken seriously.
• 39:39
  Arielle Jacobs: Either saying what you want in like a negotiation, or having boundaries. When you don't sound intimidating, I would say in air quotes, I mean, or serious.
• 39:56
  Arielle Jacobs: Serious about your boundaries or series about what you want. It's a very, I think it's an evolutionary thing that people respond to in the voice. When people are making a point they get really low and really gravelly, and if you don't take if you don't do this thing, then this is going to happen. And there's that like if you if you need to like threaten or you need to like go somewhere that gets people to feel a certain way or motivate them to action or do Something like that, then you can't sound like you're 12 Because they're gonna laugh at you.
• 40:29
  Lisa Hopkins: Have people laughed at you?
• 40:32
  Arielle Jacobs: No, not to my face.
• 40:35
  Lisa Hopkins: So you're there's a story going on that you think people, but but it's really interesting because I would challenge you to say A, you could change your voice if you want it to you've just done it, but you've chosen your choosing not to.
• 40:51
  Arielle Jacobs: no, I would, I would totally choose to change my voice to you. But
• 40:55
  Lisa Hopkins: you can change your voice if you want to.
• 40:56
  Arielle Jacobs: I can, But it's not something I can do healthily sustaining for a lifetime is to be able to sing the way I do.
• 41:02
  Lisa Hopkins: Aha. Okay, so it's, it's not worth it to you so so right now you've got you've got this thing that bugs the hell out of you.
• 41:08
  Arielle Jacobs: Yes!
• 41:09
  Lisa Hopkins: And all these limiting limiting beliefs about if I sound like this there, then I won't be confident. But, But you've also drawn the line of but I'm not going to change who I am, which is, which is great.
• 41:20
  Lisa Hopkins: Because the higher value is your body. You want to protect your body and your instrument, which I think is is brilliant. But you don't I mean, it never occurred to me that you sound like a child.
• 41:34
  Arielle Jacobs: Well, that's good, that's good. And I this, this conversation that you and I are having is probably heightened by the fact that it's been on the forefront of my mind for the last two days. So really learning how to speak in a healthy place where I don't lose my voice, having the vocal demands that are coming up for me, I also got like, my voiceover agent recently was like, you know, your regular voice is pretty high for a lot of the stuff you're auditioning for. So I would only talk in your normal voice if your character you're auditioning for for VoiceOver is a teenager or younger. And it says 20s 30s 40s. You need to pitch your voice lower. So,
• 42:12
  Lisa Hopkins: but you can do that. I mean, you're I mean, that's the craft. Yeah, you can do that. But I'm not, you can do that I'm in I mean, in the context of work, I you can do whatever you you can do that. I know you can. I think what I'm hearing is that you're tying it to who you are in the in the world.
• 42:30
  Arielle Jacobs: in the real world. Yes,I am!
• 42:31
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. And that's where there's an opportunity to sort of, you know, revisit and understand what that is. But I want to I I'd like to finish if it's okay with you to do this little rapid fire. I'm gonna say what makes you and you say you say the first thing that comes to your mind. Alright, so what makes you hungry?
• 42:57
  Arielle Jacobs: Thai food.
• 42:59
  Lisa Hopkins: Same. What makes you sad?
• 43:04
  Arielle Jacobs: The idea of people around the world and everywhere, not just outside of this country, but everywhere, who are in any form of slavery, who don't have control over their own life.
• 43:20
  Lisa Hopkins: What inspires you?
• 43:23
  Arielle Jacobs: I get inspired when I see something or read something that makes me feel a lot in a way that I didn't expect. It's usually something artistic, like a piece of art, or a performance. And I just, I feel completely in awe of and blown away. Like, how did they do that? Or how did they think of that? Or how did they go there? I guess. Yeah, I'm inspired when I I'm just completely blown away by someone's artistic expression.
• 43:58
  Lisa Hopkins: What makes you frustrated?
• 44:00
  Arielle Jacobs: Well, I tend to get frustrated when you know how I said, I'm an optimist? And I'm not only am I always thinking things will work out, the best that they can work out, I'm always also actively trying to find solutions when things are not working out. And I tend to get frustrated. When - it's funny, I'm bringing this up.
• 44:22
  Arielle Jacobs: Because I said how like people think I'm not judgmental, when they're expressing things. It's true. If someone's expressing something I'm not judgmental of their thoughts or something. But if they are in a negative space that lingers for so long, and they don't want any. They if they are stuck, but they want to be stuck. that frustrates me.
• 44:48
  Arielle Jacobs: Sometimes I'll have conversations, I've had conversations with friends where I'm like, if they're stuck, and they're complaining about something, and it's obvious, they don't like where they are emotionally with whatever they're dealing with. And I hear them and I recognize and acknowledge that they're upset, but I'm also because of my who I am. I'm trying to figure out solutions trying to figure out like which way can we go here there. And when people don't want the solutions, they just want to complain. It just frustrates me.
• 45:22
  Lisa Hopkins: What makes You What makes you laugh?
• 45:27
  Arielle Jacobs: My dog when he's being playful.
• 45:31
  Lisa Hopkins: What makes you angry?
• 45:34
  Arielle Jacobs: Back to the thing that makes me sad, angry, I'm angry that people enslave other people.
• 45:41
  Lisa Hopkins: And finally, what makes you grateful?
• 45:45
  Arielle Jacobs: Conversations like this. Where people are interested with the inner world of another person.
• 45:56
  Lisa Hopkins: Yeah. No, absolutely. So what are the what are the top three things that have happened so far today?
• 46:03
  Arielle Jacobs: Three things today, this conversation with you definitely one of them.
• 46:07
  Arielle Jacobs: Playing with my dog. And having a, I guess, a successful practice session with my husband earlier today on the healthiest vocal placement for speaking,
• 46:26
  Lisa Hopkins: What is something you're really looking forward to?
• 46:29
  Arielle Jacobs: I think getting back in a rehearsal studio next week. For for this new musical I'm in the workshop for being in the process of developing a new show is very, very exciting for me. Singing material that I've never heard on a record somewhere, this is brand new music. And also just like the story that this particular show is is really timely and empowering as a woman. So
• 46:57
  Lisa Hopkins: that's great. How exciting. How exciting. Well, it's been such a such a joy, really a distinct joy. speaking with you today. I really appreciate your time.
• 47:05
  Arielle Jacobs: Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure.
• 47:08
  Lisa Hopkins: I have been speaking today with Arielle Jacobs. I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening. Stay safe and healthy everyone and remember to live in the moment.
• 47:20
  Lisa Hopkins: In music stop time is that beautiful moment where the band is suspended in rhythmic unison, supporting the soloists to express their individuality. In the moment, I encourage you to take that time and create your own rhythm. Until next time, I'm Lisa Hopkins. Thanks for listening