Latest / Delulu with Ryan Lu / How I Manifested My Ex Back + Tarot & ASMR Affirmations | Delulu After Dark

Transcript

How I Manifested My Ex Back + Tarot & ASMR Affirmations | Delulu After Dark · Delulu with Ryan Lu

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This is the man that I manifested back, I wrote in my
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journal. I was like, I was like, I was
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like, I hear his heart beating. It's like our hearts are
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synchronized. I hear my heart beating too.
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God, I want to evaporate. Hi Delulu's and welcome back to
0:30
Delulu. We have a very special episode
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for you today. It is just me and this is
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actually going to be the first of four bonus episodes that
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we're doing in between season 1 leading into season 2.
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So we just wrapped season 1 of Delulu, which was Delulu Summer,
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and season 2 is going to be just as exciting but with more fun
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guests and new things. But season 2 is going to be a
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little darker, greater edgier because it is me officially
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entering my villain era. I have been Moody and I decided
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to just fully embrace it now. And that's what season is going
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to be. And Season 2 is we're doing a
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drum roll here to Lulu after dark and we're going to make the
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set red because this is an evil season.
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It is me stepping into this evil era.
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And I hope you love it because I think it's going to be a lot
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more fun. And I think it's going to be a
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little unfiltered, chaotic, unhinged, but it's still the
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same show that you love. In honor of Delulu After Dark
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and me officially embracing my villain era, I wanted to give
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you one of my most villainous stories.
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I want to preface the story by saying I am completely wrong
1:34
here. I acknowledge that I know I'm
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wrong for this and you guys do not need to look at me like a
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victim or anything because I shouldn't have done this.
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And I'm going to be sharing with you guys.
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I've never talked about this publicly before.
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So you guys got the exclusive Lulu.
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But this is the lore behind my infamous take that I think all
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Gemini men are cheaters. And I have been saying this in
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pretty much every episode and I stand on it and I still stand on
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it. But there's a reason for that.
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I did not just decide that one day.
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I've had an experience, and I am the source of that finding that
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Gemini men are cheaters. And I think the most fucked up
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part about the story is that I wasn't even the one cheated on
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by a Gemini man. I was actually the person that a
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Gemini man cheated on their girlfriend with, and that is so
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cringy to say because I definitely regret that.
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But either way, that's kind of what happened there.
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And yeah, I'm the bad guy, whatever, but let's get into it.
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So this was a couple years ago for context, Lulu, it was a long
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time ago. I'm a different person now.
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I'm completely evolved, still villains, still evil.
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I don't think I would do this again.
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Hopefully I don't ever do this again, but I was young and I was
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kind of just dumb and I don't know, I, I wanted what I wanted,
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which was really bad of me. But for context, Lulu, I was
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best friends with this girl. We were friends for years and I
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was super close to her and I was super close to her family and
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let's name this girl Delilah Delulu Delilah and we're
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besties, besties, besties, besties.
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But I was pretty much family to her family too.
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I spent every holiday with them. Her family really took me in and
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we were very, very, very close. And subsequently, I was close to
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her entire family, including her little sister who were naming
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Lily Little Delulu Lily, who had a boyfriend.
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So I was over at their house one day and I actually spent the
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entire holiday season with them. And this was my last holiday
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season with them, obviously, but I spent this entire holiday
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season with them. And Lily comes home one day with
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her new boyfriend and I actually don't think anything of it.
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He's tall, he's cute, but I don't really pay too much
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attention to him. I'm minding my business.
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I'm there for my friend Delilah, not necessarily for Lily or the
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family or anything. We're just hanging out.
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So I see him at their house throughout the entire December,
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throughout the entire holiday season, and it was kind of
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normal. He was just there, just another
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part of the family at that point.
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After Christmas, I was at their house, we're hanging out and
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Lily and her boyfriend get into this massive, massive, massive
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fight. Literally, I'm in Delilah's room
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and I hear them screaming at each other.
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It's chaotic, they're going at it, etcetera.
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And I'm quite, really like they good, like what is happening out
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there? Like I was scared for.
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I was like concerned. Not that it was like I thought
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he was going to like do anything terrible, but I was just like,
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they're fighting. Like I hear them fighting.
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I hear them arguing. And yeah, she had to go.
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She kicked him out, but he couldn't drive.
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He didn't have a car at the time.
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So mind you, he was 21. He just didn't have a car.
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But I offered to drive him home because I was leaving anyways.
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And I was like, OK, I could take you home.
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You live like 5 minutes away from this house, No big deal.
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He gets in my car and as I start driving him home, he actually
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starts like kind of trauma dumping on me and telling me
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about his life story, things that are going on in his life,
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how he's feeling, what's going on with Lily.
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And I'm just listening to the boy talk and I'm like oh wow.
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He's like really getting deep with me right now and I end up
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getting vulnerable with him too. I tell him my own little secrets
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and we're just sharing a lot with each other right now.
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And I drive him to his apartment.
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Like I said, it's 5 minutes away from this house and we just sit
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in front of his apartment in my car talking to each other until
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like the sun rose. So we spent the entire night
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talking pretty much. Told me his entire life story.
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It was sad, it was emotional, told me really personal deep
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things. We were both connecting and I
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remember thinking while he was telling me all of this and being
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vulnerable with me that I was like, is he like maybe gay or
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something? Or like a little queer or
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something? Because I just felt like it was
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way too intimate for everything he was telling me.
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And immediately, like essentially the first time we've
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ever really spoken at that point.
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So we're in the car and we're talking about everything.
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And I was getting a little suspicious of him, that he might
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be like, I don't know, a little free, whatever.
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But I really didn't think too much about it.
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And I went home, Sun came up, I went home, and that was that.
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The next day, we're both back at the house.
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He and Lily had made-up and I pretended to want to help
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Delilah put up a shelf. Some man shit that I would never
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do, by the way. But I was like, oh, Delilah, let
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me help you put up the shelf. Why not?
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But really my intention was I wanted to see him again.
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And I felt like the only way to see him again was if I was at
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the house and that he would be there And lo and behold, he was
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there. I go over to Delilah's house and
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I'm hoping to put up this bookshelf, which I'm really not,
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but like, I'm like doing the motions or whatever.
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And she actually pulls me aside and talks to me.
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And she was like, hey, Lily thinks that her boyfriend might
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be a little gay and he she thinks that you 2 have been
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flirting with each other and it's making her really
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uncomfortable. And mind you, at this time, we
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never even interacted in front of them at all.
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Yes, he was around the house, and he would make comments to me
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every now and then, but we never really spoke.
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So I don't even know where that was coming from.
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But it was a little validating to me because I was like, I also
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think that he's a little gay, right?
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So now there's some sort of palpable energy that people are
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noticing and people are pointing it out.
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And I feel like that's not something that should be
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ignored. So I was like, OK, there's like
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an apparent chemistry here. And I was like, OK, so I was
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like, I don't know what you're talking about, girl.
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If I'm being completely honest with you, I barely talk to him.
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He's just there. He's just a guy, no big deal.
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And she was like, OK, just like, you know, she's a little
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concerned. It makes her uncomfortable.
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Just keep that in mind. I was like, hey, no big deal.
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And during this, we're also kind of Dming on the low, low on
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Instagram. And he was like, let's get out
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of here, let's leave again, right?
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We were never able to leave together that night.
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I don't know, the circumstances were super hard or maybe they
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were catching on to us or something.
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So we both end up leaving separately end of that day.
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The next day comes around, we're at the house again.
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I pretty much spend every day with his family at this time of
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my life. I'm spending every day with his
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family. We're at the house again, and
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now Lily and Delilah both talk to me and they're like, hey, you
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cannot be around Lily's boyfriend.
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That's a rule we're setting. You can't be around Lily's
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boyfriend. We think something's going on
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between y'all and you can't be around him.
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And I was like, OK, I guess that's that.
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Like, sure, I won't do it again. We're kind of messaging on the
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Lolo. We're talking, and he was at the
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house again. So they keep us in separate
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rooms because we cannot be near each other, I guess, and they're
8:00
doing their best to keep us apart.
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But we devised this little scheme, a little plan to find
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each other and see each other and leave this house.
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So we decided that he was going to leave early.
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He was going to walk home, and then 10 minutes later I would
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leave and I'll just pick him up and we would hang out again.
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And that's exactly what we did. He leaves, I wait 10 minutes,
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minutes, I go find him, I pick him up and we just hang out and
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talk in my car for hours again and really getting to know each
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other. We're spending a lot of time
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together, whatever. At this point, every morning
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he's like saying good morning to me.
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He's messaging me, he's calling me everyday we're FaceTime,
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we're spending hours on the phone together and I would even
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ask him like, shouldn't he be talking to Lily, your
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girlfriend, or shouldn't he be hanging out with your
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girlfriend? He's like, no, I want to do
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that. I want to talk to you.
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He's like, OK, cool. So he's spending all this time
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with me and now I'm like, well, I want to I want to start seeing
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him, but I need like an excuse to see him about making it
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obvious that something might be happening.
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Because honestly, I knew what I was doing was bad.
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I knew at this point that he's probably emotionally cheating on
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Lily and I also knew that I probably should stay away from
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him, but I just really couldn't. So I think about like an excuse
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to be able to see him. And my friend Cameron at the
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time was redoing his bedroom and he was painting it yellow and
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that's a man shit again. And we're 2 little F slurs.
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So I was like, there's really no need for either of us to be
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painting this bedroom. Mind you, we did try and it was
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actually really, really bad and we were not good at it.
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But I decided and I was like, you know, I'm going to ask
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Lily's boyfriend to come help paint the bedroom.
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Why not? He's a man, he could do it.
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So I asked him if he wants to. He's down, I drive and pick him
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up from work and he comes to Cameron's house to paint the
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walls yellow and he does a great job and we spend the next two to
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three days painting his bedroom together.
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And one thing about me is my love language.
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My number one thing is access service.
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If you're doing something for me, I'm very likely to like be
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super into you or like you or fall for you just because like,
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I don't know, as a Virgo, I feel like I do everything myself.
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I'm mad independent and I feel like people don't do things for
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me really. But when people do things for
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me, I really like it. I really appreciate it.
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It's like my highest love language.
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So I'm watching him paint the walls.
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I'm like, this is really nice. He's like doing this favor for
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me because he doesn't know Cameron.
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He doesn't need to do this for Cameron.
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And I feel like he's doing it for me and we're spending a lot
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of time together now. We would go to the mall and he
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would offer to buy me clothes, which is crazy because mind you,
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we were both dirt broke at this time, like both of us.
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I don't know, like if he had money to buy me anything.
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And not that I would even let him buy me anything, but he
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would offer to buy me clothes. He'd offer to buy me food,
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drinks, whatever. Like he was just being really
10:25
boyfriendy to me, I would say. And he acted very boyfriendy
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with me when we would go out together.
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And he would actually even tell people that he was my boyfriend.
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Like he would tell the cashier at like McDonald's he's, he'd be
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like, yeah, I'm Ryan's boyfriend.
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And I'd be like, of course I'm going to overthink that and
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analyse every little like, nuance of what I could mean.
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But he would tell people that. And I know he was like joking,
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but like, at this point I'm like really liking this guy.
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I'm like getting deeper feelings for him.
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So I'm like, fuck, like now he's seeing all the shit I like to
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hear. And so we are talking on the
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phone pretty much every night. We're getting really close.
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We finished painting Cameron's bedroom.
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Projects done. I don't know what to do anymore.
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So I'm like I need to create another project for him so I can
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keep seeing him. So I go out and I buy black
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picture frames and I tell him I was like hey can you help me
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paint these picture frames gold because gold is my favorite
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color. And he was down of course.
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So new project started and now he comes to my house and at the
11:22
time my parents really didn't let me have anyone come over.
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They still really don't let me have anyone come over.
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I'm in an apartment now, so anyone can come over now, don't
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come over. But basically he would come over
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and we would sit on my bedroom floor and we would paint the
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picture frames. I would do it horribly because
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I'm not good at it, but he did it so well and it came out
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really good. And I would just watch him paint
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the picture frames and I was like, OK, fuck.
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I think I'm like falling for him.
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I think this is like me really falling for him now.
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And we would spend the next couple days painting these
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picture frames just on my bedroom floor.
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I had a bunch of them and it would take a long time to paint
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each of them. And while the paint was drying,
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we would do little activities in between.
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So one of them was he wanted to teach me how to skateboard,
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which I suspect was just a way to like, I don't know, touch me
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or like, have a little moment with me or be intimate with me
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or whatever. And a fucking course, I was down
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South, picture my ass on a skateboard and I'm falling
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everywhere. But now I have like, this tall,
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like, you know, buff guy, like catching me and holding me and
12:19
like, holding my hand and like guiding me on the skateboard.
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It's cute as fuck. And I remember we were doing it
12:23
outside my house and the sun would be setting in.
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The sky was beautiful. And I was just like, wow, I feel
12:28
like I'm in a fucking movie right now, which is crazy.
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And I was just feeling all types of ways.
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And yeah, I was just really, really liking him.
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We'd go back, paint the picture frames.
12:37
Who played me his music? I liked his music.
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And he's just like a sad little Moody boy or whatever.
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And I kind of like that too because I was like, damn, he's
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so artsy and deep, blah, blah, whatever.
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And he would talk about his problems with his girlfriend,
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and then his girlfriend would call when we're hanging out and
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I'd be like, you should answer. And he's like, no, I don't want
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to. I want to, like, hang out with
12:53
you. And I'm like, OK.
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And then he'd be like, I cancelled a date with her so I
12:56
can be with you tonight. And I'm like, damn, this is like
12:58
kind of getting a little intensity, right?
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So I'm like, OK, that's fine. I don't know what's happening.
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I'm just journaling about everything.
13:04
I'm confused as fuck. And that's kind of where we
13:07
were. I remember at one point when we
13:09
were painting the picture frames, I was like, let me go
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grab some food from the kitchen, right?
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We've been doing it for a couple hours.
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So I tell him, do not leave my bedroom.
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Stay right here. My parents cannot see you.
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They cannot even know that you're in the house.
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Do not leave this bedroom. He's like, got it.
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I'll stay right here. I'm going to paint the fucking
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picture frames. I'm like, OK, slay.
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So it goes to the kitchen. I'm like, you know, rummaging
13:30
through shit to find food for him.
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And I hear him introduce himself to my dad and he's like, hi, I'm
13:35
blah, blah, blah. And I'm like mortified.
13:37
I turn around and he's just fucking right there in the
13:39
kitchen with my dad. And my dad's acting mad cool
13:42
about it. I don't think he reacted that
13:45
any type of way, to be honest. And I was like, Oh my God, I'm
13:47
fucking horrified right now, 'cause like, not only did I have
13:49
like a boy over at the house, but I had someone at the house
13:51
and I really was not allowed to have anyone over, right?
13:54
So I'm like, what the fuck? And obviously he's dumb for
13:57
that, but I was also dumb 'cause I found it really endearing and
14:00
was like, that's cute. Like he just like introduced
14:03
himself to my dad, Like, oh, my boyfriend, my dad, like
14:05
whatever. I'm like, like Dulu, whatever,
14:07
Dulu derogatory, so whatever. And yeah, I was kind of
14:11
mortified about that. But also I made a promise to
14:12
myself, in fact Lulu, that I wouldn't come out to my parents
14:15
until I had a boyfriend. So I was like, well, he just
14:18
introduced himself to my dad. That's like him being my
14:21
boyfriend, right? So something like that,
14:22
whatever. We go back to my room and we eat
14:24
this like makeshift little dinner with whatever snacks I
14:27
found. And we're sitting on my bed
14:28
eating it together like looking at each other.
14:29
And we're just like damn we real intimate TBH.
14:33
So it goes on like that. We continue painting the picture
14:36
frames again the next day and this time in between the picture
14:40
frames trying instead of teaching me to skateboard, we
14:42
decide to watch a movie. We watch a scary movie together
14:44
and we're both laying in my bed like watching this movie and
14:47
it's pretty intimate. We're essentially cuddling.
14:49
I remember thinking very clearly, like I can hear his
14:52
heart beating because my head was on his chest.
14:54
And this is so cringe. And I'm going to actually close
14:57
my eyes when I say this because Brett's right there and I can't
14:59
look at him during this one, but I would be like, I wrote to my
15:02
journal. I was like, I was like, I was
15:05
like, I hear his heart beating. It's like our hearts are
15:08
synchronized. I hear my heart beating too.
15:13
God, I want to evaporate. I hate that I admitted that I
15:15
did write that in my journal. I just reread all my journal
15:18
entries and I remember writing. I remember reading that and I
15:21
was like, damn you fucking lover girl ass motherfucker.
15:24
Really. I mean, low key, that was a bar,
15:28
so I really shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed of it to
15:30
be honest. But can I have a moment, please?
15:44
We're laying there together, I'm hearing his heartbeat, whatever.
15:47
I'm in my feelings about it. And I don't know why, but he was
15:50
going through my phone for some reason and I was completely fond
15:52
of, I was watching him go through my phone, but he was
15:53
like scrolling through my camera roll and he found a bunch of
15:56
pictures of himself that I had saved.
15:58
So he would send me like pictures of him at work or
15:59
whatever and I would screenshot it and save it.
16:02
And so he saw those pictures and he literally just asked me point
16:05
blank, period. He was like, do you like me?
16:08
And I was like fuck because this is over.
16:13
Like he caught me like dead ass because I was trying to keep my
16:16
feelings on the lolo to be honest.
16:17
I was trying to give it bestie vibes or whatever even though it
16:19
was definitely more than bestie vibes.
16:21
But yeah he caught me and I was like well fantasy over it's
16:25
done. Like I don't know what to say.
16:27
I decided I had two options. I could lie to him and hopefully
16:31
he will believe me or I could just come clean and see what
16:35
happens. And I just decided that at this
16:37
point, I believed he knew me way too well to know when I was
16:40
lying or not. So I decided just to come clean.
16:42
And I told him, yeah, I like you.
16:45
And he very softly rejected me. He was like, Ryan, you know, I'm
16:52
straight. And I was like, yeah, get the
16:57
hell out of my room because this is super awkward Taco now.
17:00
So he tells me that he rejects me.
17:03
I'm embarrassed as fuck. I'm genuinely embarrassed as
17:05
fuck. I'm like the fool Lulu, for
17:07
reals. And because like, we're like up
17:10
on each other right now. I was like, I, and now you're
17:12
telling me you're straight, Whatever, I'm confused to sell.
17:15
I don't even know what to do about this.
17:16
So I tell him I was like, we got to go.
17:17
We can't be here. We really can't be here.
17:19
I know we're about to have a long conversation about this and
17:21
I don't think we should do it in my childhood bedroom with my
17:23
parents in the room next to us, right?
17:25
So I take him to my car and I drive him to a Target parking
17:30
lot. Target's already closed at this
17:31
time, so it's completely empty. And we just sit in the Target
17:34
parking lot and we talk and I just tell him how I'm feeling
17:38
and he talks to me and he's being really soft and
17:41
reassuring. But like, obviously he can't be
17:43
what I wanted him to be. So it was kind of devastating.
17:45
And I was like, let me go. Like let me just let me, please
17:49
let me go. Like honestly, I can't have this
17:50
conversation. If you don't like me or you tell
17:52
me, tell me that you can't, then I don't even want to like
17:55
entertain this. And I was being dramatic as fuck
17:58
in this parking lot. So I would like get out a car
18:02
and run and I would run and mind you, this is my own fucking car.
18:06
So I don't know where the hell I thought I was going and leaving
18:09
my car in the Target parking lot.
18:10
But I would just take off and he would chase after me and pick me
18:14
up, throw me over his shoulder like little rag doll and put me
18:17
back in the car. And mind you, this is like a
18:19
tall man like this is like a big man.
18:20
He's like buff whatever. And like I'm just like a little
18:22
skinny mini girl. So he would put me back in the
18:25
car and we would start talking again.
18:27
And I don't know, it's just like kind of a tense and a lot
18:30
somewhere in that conversation when we're talking, I was kind
18:33
of realizing that I was like, you know what?
18:34
I feel like there's still something here.
18:36
And I feel like he's not necessarily just rejecting me.
18:38
And I don't know, it becomes midnight and the Target parking
18:43
lot lights all turn off. We're in the dark now.
18:46
It's just us sitting in the car in the dark, completely alone in
18:49
this Target parking lot. And I feel like we're having an
18:52
intimate moment. I feel like it's being very
18:54
vulnerable. I feel like we're being really
18:55
honest with each other. And I just remember thinking, if
18:58
I don't do this right now, I'm going to regret it for the rest
19:00
of my life because I just need to know.
19:02
So I leaned over and I kissed him.
19:05
There's just like a Peck on the lips.
19:07
He did not kiss me back. And he told me he was like,
19:11
Ryan, I'm straight. So another, another straight
19:16
admission or whatever. And I'm like, OK can I die?
19:21
So I'm sitting there like this is really awkward and
19:24
uncomfortable and I'm having a really bad night.
19:26
But I also decided that I really do owe it to myself to find out
19:29
if there really is something there.
19:30
Cuz I feel like at this point I've had a lot of different like
19:33
situations or like whatever things with people and I never
19:37
felt any type of way about any of them.
19:39
I'm very used to being chased and adored and I love that.
19:42
But with him I felt like it was a different kind of game cuz
19:45
like he wasn't necessarily chasing me and I never felt
19:48
anything with any of the guys before but I felt like I felt a
19:51
type of way about him. So I was like, I just need to
19:53
confirm if this feeling is real, if I made it up, if I'm dilulu,
19:56
derogatory, whatever it is. So I just straight up ask him
20:00
like hey, I just want to see if I feel anything.
20:03
Could we kiss? He had to justify kissing me and
20:06
honestly it was more for him than me because I was always
20:08
down. But we kiss and literally my
20:10
mind goes blank and I think I'm a thinker.
20:16
So I'm thinking and I overthink, but when we're kissing, my mind
20:20
went blank. I felt electricity, sparks.
20:23
I might have kicked my feet up a little bit.
20:25
Not gonna lie. We're in a car.
20:30
I did not kick my feet up, but basically I did feel every type
20:33
of way. And this is a long kiss y'all.
20:35
Like this motherfucker was on me for a minute.
20:37
I'm not going to lie, I don't want to say we're making out,
20:39
but it felt like a very romantic, like intense,
20:41
passionate, intimate kiss. And we're kissing for a minute.
20:44
And when we finished kissing, I realized that I completely
20:48
blacked out. I quite literally blacked out.
20:51
Like nothing mattered in that moment except like us like
20:54
kissing. It was like kind of poetic, but
20:58
basically that's what happened. And I tell him I was like, I'm
21:02
so sorry, can we kiss again? Because I didn't register any of
21:05
that. And I really just want to know.
21:06
I just really want to know if I feel the type of way, which
21:09
obviously I felt the type of way.
21:11
And he actually agrees to kissing me again at this point.
21:14
So again, if we're keeping track, the kiss counter, we're
21:16
at 3 kisses now, three kisses. So we kiss again.
21:21
I still feel the same type of way.
21:22
But this time I'm very like aware, like I'm conscience now
21:26
I'm thinking about it. And I'm like, yeah, this is it.
21:29
I was like, I think, I think this changed the entire game.
21:32
I think this changes the entire discourse of the situation and
21:35
what's happening here. And after this kiss, another
21:39
long kiss, might I add, he tells me that I confirmed that he's
21:45
straight because he did not feel anything from that kiss.
21:48
And I'm just Boo, Boo the damn clown at this point because I'm
21:52
like, damn, I'm really out here clowning myself.
21:55
Like I really was like trying to be a hopeful girl about this,
21:58
believing in love and shit. And he was just rejecting me.
22:03
And to be honest, maybe it's my karma because I shouldn't have
22:05
done this with him and I shouldn't have done this to
22:08
Delilah's family and Delilah's little sister.
22:11
I know. So maybe that was my karma.
22:14
He lets me down. And at this point, I do actually
22:18
give up like I'm reality Lulu now.
22:22
I drive him back to his apartment and as he was leaving,
22:26
I tell myself I'm not going to see him again.
22:28
I'm going to let go of this man. I'm going to give up on this and
22:30
I'm going to move on with my life.
22:32
But as he was getting in my car and saying goodbye to me and he
22:34
hugged me and like my face was in his neck.
22:37
I just was like, I lost all sense.
22:41
And I was like, please, can I see you again?
22:44
Like, can we please keep hanging out?
22:45
Like, I don't want this to be over.
22:46
And he was like, I'll see you tomorrow.
22:47
We'll keep painting your picture frames and we'll paint the
22:50
canvases that you got. Because I also got canvases
22:52
because I decided that painting was our thing.
22:54
So I got canvases so we could paint them together.
22:56
And he was like, I'll see you tomorrow.
22:57
We'll, we'll keep painting everything.
22:59
We'll be like, fine. I was like, OK, promise.
23:00
And he was like, promise. I was like, OK.
23:03
And then I never saw the motherfucker ever again for the
23:06
rest of my life. Never saw him again since he
23:09
left that night. He messaged me the next morning
23:12
and he said, hey, Ryan, I can't do this.
23:14
Like whatever he does. Another rejection.
23:17
And I was just like, OK, that's that.
23:20
So that was pretty much that. Mind you, this entire saga
23:24
happened over the course of nine days, so it was all very, very,
23:27
very quick. I was devastated.
23:29
It took me a really long time to get over this person and for a
23:32
while even years later, I was like actively trying to manifest
23:35
him. But if you watch the first
23:36
episode, this is the man that I manifested back.
23:39
He did eventually come back and this is at the time when my
23:41
TikTok was blowing up and things were changing for me.
23:43
I was getting to manifestation but it took me a really really
23:45
long time to get over him, which is crazy.
23:47
But by the time he did manifest back, I was over him.
23:50
I don't want to hear from him. I don't want to do anything with
23:52
him. My life was completely
23:53
different. But he came back and he messaged
23:55
me and he was like hey, can we please talk?
23:57
I'm confused. And I would think we should talk
24:00
about what happened, which I think he's referring to that
24:02
night in the Target parking lot, right.
24:04
So I wasn't having it. I was actually kind of cruel and
24:07
cold about it. And I was like, you had a chance
24:08
to talk to me then and you didn't.
24:10
So I don't want to talk anymore. And I just shut him down
24:13
completely shut him down, didn't let let him speak, didn't hear
24:16
him out, none of that. And I think he blocked me.
24:20
Let me rephrase that. He did block me.
24:23
And yeah, we haven't spoken since.
24:25
I don't really feel the type of way about him now, but I do
24:27
regret not letting him speak because I'm just curious.
24:30
Like, what would he have said? Like, would he have told me that
24:33
he's realizing he might be gay or something, or that he likes
24:36
me or like, I don't know. I just don't know what he would
24:38
have said. So I feel like I should have
24:40
just heard him out at least foreclosure.
24:42
But I really refused it. And that's what happened.
24:45
And to be honest, I didn't have a lot of guidance at the time.
24:48
I was dealing with all of it by myself essentially because I was
24:51
very private and I didn't know who to talk to about it.
24:54
I didn't really get any advice and I kept to myself.
24:57
I just wrote it on my journal. But if it was today and I was in
25:00
that situation, I would definitely want advice for it,
25:03
which is what you're going to get right now because we're
25:05
going to do WW80 GD. What would a delulu girl do?
25:09
Where you give me your questions, concerns, problems,
25:11
situations, and I give you my delulu advice.
25:15
My healed, evolved not home wrecking advice there.
25:18
There are some home wrecking allegations in the studio today,
25:20
might I add, and I don't take kindly to it, but we're going to
25:24
give you some good old fashioned delulu advice.
25:29
Our first WWADD question comes from an anonymous bestie who is
25:33
wondering, what do you do if your ex keeps hitting you up and
25:37
you keep coming over? I guess this is a very nuanced
25:41
question and my general answer is just like don't do it.
25:45
Honestly, I just feel like at this point, like yes, it's easy
25:49
or whatever, but the same time I think you still feel type of way
25:51
about them. I feel like it could be really
25:52
disastrous and I'm a really big fan of setting boundaries and
25:55
just making sure you protect your heart and your peace.
25:58
And am I saying that I wouldn't do it?
26:00
No, I would. And I have and I've done that
26:02
before and it just ends up being disastrous.
26:05
I guess my advice realistically is set a boundary there and
26:09
maybe establish that how you might be feeling communicated.
26:11
I think that could be really effective and good.
26:13
But honestly, if you're in a situation and you just feel
26:15
really drawn to it, like sometimes you can just get it so
26:19
right when it's physical, when it's critical.
26:21
So I definitely understand, by the way, listen to so right by
26:25
Carly Rae Jepsen because that's exactly the situation.
26:27
But that's my advice. I would set a boundary bestie.
26:29
Honestly, I would set a boundary.
26:31
So we have another question here.
26:33
Another anonymous bestie says, how do I tell them I don't want
26:36
to be roommates anymore without ruining the friendship?
26:38
I think not telling them would ruin the friendship.
26:41
I think you'll end up presenting them and I think it'll create
26:43
more problems down the line. So I think you genuinely should
26:46
just tell them that maybe you want to explore living by
26:49
yourself or living with someone else or you know, even maybe
26:53
find like an excuse or say something or like you can't
26:57
afford rent or something. I just think staying living with
27:00
them will create resentment. And I don't think that's a good
27:03
idea. So I think talking about it with
27:05
them and explaining it to them or even just being clear with
27:08
them. Like honestly, I feel like
27:09
myself as Ryan, I'm a very direct person.
27:11
I feel like I would just be like, yeah, you know what?
27:12
I don't really like living with you, which honestly, now that
27:15
I'm thinking about, it could be very harsh and maybe you
27:16
shouldn't do that, but I would talk to them about it.
27:20
I think so. So so you don't ruin the
27:21
friendship if you really value the friendship.
27:23
Some people aren't just not compatible as roommates.
27:25
And that's completely fair, honestly.
27:27
And I don't think they should take it personally.
27:29
So I'll talk to them about it. Keep me updated on what they
27:31
say. And we have a final question
27:34
here from an anonymous bestie. Would it be weird if I went to a
27:38
party even though my ex is going to be there?
27:45
Brett, would that be weird? No, Brett says it would not be
27:51
weird if you go to a party and your ex is there.
27:53
I'm a big fan of maintaining my peace, so if I felt like a type
27:58
of way about my ex or I didn't want to see this ex, I think I
28:01
wouldn't go. But you want my delulu advice?
28:06
Go hot as fuck, you do it up, look good, make them regret that
28:11
shit. Like honestly, I don't know what
28:12
happened between y'all, but if you want to be brave, Lulu, or
28:15
if you want to be delulu after dark, we're gonna we're gonna
28:18
sex it up a little bit like you should show up, make them regret
28:20
it. I kind of like that.
28:21
Listen to Look at me right Now by Grant Kanoki.
28:25
That's your song for this. I would sex it up.
28:28
Sure. Go have fun.
28:30
Bring me. We can get into it together.
28:34
OK, so that was our WWADGD for this week.
28:38
And if you want to be featured in next week's WWADGD, all you
28:41
need to do is join my passive besties community at the top of
28:43
my page and submit your question, concerns, situation,
28:45
or dilemma for me to potentially answer next week.
28:49
You know what's interesting about those questions?
28:51
Those were very Mercury retrograde ask questions.
28:54
Honestly, Mercury retrograde is a lot of miscommunication.
28:57
And thankfully, as of this episode airing, Mercury
29:01
retrograde just ended. So bestie, if you were going
29:03
through it, that's why. And you know what?
29:05
We're having a full circle moment right now because the
29:07
first episode of the show Mercury retrograde also ended.
29:11
So we just went through another Mercury retrograde.
29:13
How crazy. The Mercury retrograde is over.
29:16
We are officially at the tail end of Leo season and moving
29:19
into Virgo season, which is my season.
29:22
So everyone wish me a happy birthday in the comments and
29:25
also rate the show 5 stars as a birthday gift to me please.
29:30
But we're entering Virgo season. You're going to be a little bit
29:32
more organized, you're going to be more on top of your shit and
29:35
this is the time to really get your shit together, especially
29:37
moving into the fall. We had a great fun to Lulu
29:39
summer, I truly mean that. But Virgo season's going to
29:42
really just snatch you up and get you ready for this next
29:46
chapter, and it's going to be your best chapter yet.
29:48
But yeah, if you're going through it, that's why you went
29:50
through a breakup during America Retrograde.
29:51
I wouldn't worry about it. If you're dealing with issues
29:53
during America retrograde, it's over now.
29:55
Let's just affirm everything's getting better right now.
29:59
And Bestie, really quickly, I want to do a one card pull to
30:02
give you your vibe and energy. If you're listening to this
30:05
episode, this reading is genuinely for you.
30:07
We're going to shuffle the deck a little bit and then let's see
30:12
what spirit and the universe need you to know right now.
30:15
Are you nervy? Are you excited?
30:18
Oh my God, I'm claiming this y'all.
30:21
I pulled the nine of cups upright.
30:22
This card is literally wish fulfillment.
30:24
If you're listening to this right now, make a wish.
30:27
Make a wish in your head. Comment your wish.
30:29
Speak into existence. This is literally wish
30:31
fulfillment. I'm going to make a wish right
30:32
now. Oh, I know I don't want to wish
30:34
for. It's super cringe.
30:36
So, Brett, don't watch me. OK, I made a really embarrassing
30:44
wish and I promise you when it comes true, I will tell you on
30:48
the show, we're going to cut this clip and we're going to
30:50
insert it to me telling you it came true and it is going to
30:53
come true. Did Brett, did you make a wish?
30:55
Mina, you make a wish, Bestie to Lulu.
30:59
Bestie, did you make a wish? It's already yours.
31:02
Congratulations. I'm so happy we pulled that
31:04
card. Wow, really good vibes.
31:07
Great vibes for season 2. And Bestie, we're going to slow
31:10
it down a little bit. This was an exciting episode.
31:14
We learned a lot about each other.
31:16
Me, that I am only seemingly perfect, but not always in
31:20
practice, and you that you're very forgiving of me and that's
31:24
what I like about you. But we're going to end this
31:27
episode with a little ASMR affirmations for you.
31:32
I'm going to speak all these good things into existence for
31:34
you to send you off so you can have an amazing week and start
31:38
to the rest of your 2025 and or whenever you listen to this
31:42
episode. You are a magnet to everything
31:48
good in the world. You are the Lulu complimentary.
31:54
Everything always works out for you.
31:57
You have powerful lucky girl syndrome.
32:00
You truly are always at the right place at the right time
32:05
and everyone is obsessed with you.
32:07
Everyone loves you. Everyone loves supporting you
32:11
and doing things for you and painting your childhood best
32:15
friend's bedrooms for you. Everyone loves celebrating you
32:20
and there's a lot to celebrate and there's going to be more to
32:23
celebrate because you are just that girl.
32:27
You get everything and you truly are spoiled.
32:31
You're always benefiting from every action that happens in the
32:37
world, and the universe makes sure that you're always
32:43
receiving. You live a life of abundance.
32:47
You live a life of success, and everyone loves seeing you win
32:53
because all you do is win. No matter what era you're in,
32:58
you are very loved and you're very successful.
33:02
Take all the good energy that you're receiving right now.
33:05
Go ahead and claim it. You can claim it in the
33:08
comments. You can claim it to yourself.
33:10
But just know it's already yours.
33:12
Why? Because I said so.
33:14
Because you exist. Congratulations and get used to
33:18
hearing congratulations. You're going to hear a lot more
33:20
of it over the next few months. Bestie, that was the Lulu of
33:23
Ryan Liu and thank you so much for watching.
33:24
This was your healthy dose of the Lulu so you can go live your
33:28
true Lulu. We're going to be rolling out a
33:29
few more bonus episodes to get you ready for season 2.
33:33
But thank you so much for being here and watching the show.
33:34
And I really hope you love Season 1.
33:36
We all worked really, really hard on it and we're really
33:38
excited to make more content for you.
33:41
And if you really do love the show, if you want to support it,
33:43
please follow the show on Spotify and also hit that bell
33:46
button so you'd be notified of every new episode that drops
33:48
every Delulu Thursday. And if you rate the show 5
33:53
stars, I will personally find whatever X might have blocked
33:58
you on social media and I'm sure I can find them and I will.
34:02
I'll tell them to give you reparations for whatever they
34:05
did to you. I'll chastise them, but please,
34:08
please, please rate the show. It genuinely really does help.
34:10
Five stars and besties. If you want more of this
34:13
podcast, you can also join my past community at the top of my
34:15
page. And you can also submit your
34:18
questions for next week's WWADGD, which we will be doing
34:21
with a guest in season 2. Thank you guys so much for
34:24
watching. Follow me on all my platforms.
34:25
Emotions E pure demo period TONS and the podcast account at
34:28
Delulu BFFI love you guys. So, so, so, so, so, so so much.
34:31
I hope you still like me even if I'm a little more evil.
34:34
But yeah, let's have a good time.
34:36
Love you.