Transcript

183. Showing Up · Impact Ready

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Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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make life truly meaningful. Get ready for Impact.
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Hello team, welcome to the Impact Ready podcast.
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Welcome to a new week. So glad you're here.
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We just did an episode on consistency last week.
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I think it was the previous episode actually.
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And this episode will kind of go hand in hand with it because
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this one is all about showing up.
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And we've talked about this idea before, the idea of showing up,
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but there's a lot of nuance in this space.
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And I want to address it in this podcast episode because I think
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people can get tripped up on it. This is one of those things
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where it can seem like there are two opposing forces at play.
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For example, we're told to have compassion and grace for
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ourselves, to rest when we need to, to really take time and and
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recover. But we're also told to be gritty
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and show up even when things are hard.
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And that duality really confuses people.
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The question becomes, OK, great, but when do I have grace and
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compassion for myself? And when do I just grit my teeth
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and show up? And I get that, I get it.
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We're all trying to grow. We're all trying to do the right
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things here. So which one is it?
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But like so many things, this is all in a spectrum.
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This idea of time for grace, compassion, and this idea for
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gritting your teeth and showing up.
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First of all, it's not one or the other.
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You can actually have both. You can have grace and
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compassion for yourself, and you can grit your teeth and show up.
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You can make space for resting. But you can also decide that
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that isn't for now, and that the time now is for showing up.
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And you have to be tuned into yourself to recognize when those
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times are. When is the time to actually lay
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down and rest, either metaphorically or literally?
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And when is the time to move, to put your clothes on, walk out
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the door, arrive to show up? The truth is, nobody wakes up
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feeling great every single day. Nobody wakes up ready to crush
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it every single day that doesn't happen.
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It's not real. You would hope that most days
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you're feeling pretty awesome and ready to go, but it's not
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going to be every day. You are going to have hard days
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and you might have days that absolutely suck or even weeks or
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months that feel that kind of hard.
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I get that. I have been there as well.
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And that's OK because it really is never about showing up
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perfectly every single day. What it's really about is just
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showing up the best that you can and you do that over and over.
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That's what consistency is. That's what professionalism is.
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That's where the grit and the resilience shows up and kicks
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in. And also not underestimating
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yourself all the time because you can actually tolerate a lot
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more than you think you can. When something hard happens, it
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absolutely can have an effect on us.
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That's OK. We can be in that space for a
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bit of time. We can process, we can let those
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emotions and feelings move through us.
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But we have to resist the urge to hang out in those dark
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spaces, to hit rock bottom and want to set up shop there, to
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live down there. In our despair, we don't want to
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make that our home. We don't want to put down a
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throw rug or put the bed sheets on or bring a couch down there.
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That's not a good place for us to be.
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And frankly, it can be a little addicting.
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It can be intoxicating to be in our own darkness.
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Sometimes it can be hard to get out of that space because it's
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easy to get in the habit of blaming other things to kids.
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Easy to get in the habit of disengaging or disassociating or
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to paint ourselves as a victim of a situation to not really
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look at what we truly need to own in that situation.
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And before we go any further, I'm just going to say this out
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loud. I'm not ragging on anybody who
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is in that dark space right now and having a hard time showing
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up. I get it.
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But there is a distinction, and there is always that tipping
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point where we have an opportunity to be in choice.
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How am I going to show up today? The thing that often takes more
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energy is getting dressed and getting out in the world and
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investing in our relationships and our work.
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But it's also the thing that helps us get out of the dark.
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I'm lucky enough to be married to somebody who operates in this
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kind of way, who kind of sees things the same way as me.
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When it comes to this stuff. She has the same sort of mindset
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and resolve to show up the way that I'm talking about here.
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We see things in the same way in that regard.
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And I remember there was one time specifically where I
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thought to myself, this is the person for me.
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And it might sound a little strange, but I want to tell this
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story anyway. Let me pause here for a second.
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If you're listening and thinking I'm capable of more or this is
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the level I want to operate at, this is for you.
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I work privately with a small number of high performing
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leaders who are ready to elevate how they show up in their
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business and in their lives. This isn't motivational
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coaching, it's precision work. We refine your energy,
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strengthen your ownership, and eliminate inconsistency so your
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impact becomes undeniable. If you're ready for that level
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of growth, book a private call through the link in the show
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notes. We'll see if it's a fit.
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All right, back to the episode. May 1st, 2018 was a Tuesday.
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It was also the day that Leanne and I had been to the imaging
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center that morning where she had had an ultrasound and they
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had informally diagnosed her with breast cancer.
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I remember we were sitting in the ultrasound room.
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It's very dark in those rooms. It's cold.
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She was sitting on the table, I was sitting in a chair.
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And we're kind of just like looking at each other, not
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really saying anything. And the radiologist came in
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after talking with the tech, and she said that based on what she
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had seen in those scans, Leanne most certainly had breast cancer
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and that we were to wait in this room for a call from scheduling
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so that we could get her biopsy scheduled.
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And I remember the darkness in that room and the weight of that
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moment. It really did feel like there
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was darkness inside of me. It was a day that I don't think
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either one of us will ever forget.
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We walked out of that office. I remember the light being so
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bright. It was a cloudy day and we were
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having a hard time adjusting to the light.
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And I remember watching as she called her dad right away to
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tell him what she'd learned while I waited on the other side
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of the car. And then we got into the car and
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we drove home. We were totally shell shocked.
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I think she was laying on the bed and I was sort of standing
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in our room. We didn't really know what to
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do. I think at one point we decided
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we would go to lunch, which is really weird because we never go
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to lunch and we went to a Mexican restaurant, which is not
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something we ever do. It was really strange situation.
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We had no idea how to navigate this new information that we'd
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gotten. I don't even think we ate the
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food that was in front of us. The waiter probably thought we
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were crazy, but the part of the day that sticks out in my mind
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just as much as that ultrasound room was the fact that we had a
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pop up workout, an event scheduled for that evening.
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We both worked for Burn Cycle in Portland Spin Studio at the
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time, and we were doing a lot of community pop up events during
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that season. There's usually about 50 to 75
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people there and the two of us were going to be front and
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center leading the workout. Leanne was actually the head
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trainer for the event. And I remember we were deciding,
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what do we do? Do we go to this thing or do we
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call it and we stay home? We had every reason not to go
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logically, right? I mean, in fact, when we called
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our team to let them know what was going on and we told them
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about this informal diagnosis, they offered us 10 different
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ways to get out of the situation.
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But Leanne knew what I knew in that moment, which is sometimes
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it's actually better just to show up.
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She knew that there was no sense in sitting around the house
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wallowing. I mean, we'd done that for the
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past five hours, and it really hadn't made us feel any better.
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And maybe in the act of showing up, it would be a way to channel
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that energy and regain some sense of fortitude and strength,
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maybe alleviate some of the helplessness that we were
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feeling earlier in that day. And so we did.
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We showed up to the event. We had let our team know.
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They rallied for us. They came with so much love and
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support, and Leanne wrote about this in her book.
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But I remember it being one of the most powerful events that I
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was ever a part of teaching in fitness.
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Our whole team knew about the news, and even though the
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attendees didn't know, I'm sure that they could feel the energy
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of all of us showing up together and binding together in this
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moment of extreme necessity and vulnerability.
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I remember the energy there that night.
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It was almost electric. I also remember that we were
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actually smiling and laughing afterwards and we were taking
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pictures together. I remember that there was some
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joy. Despite the heaviness, there was
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still joy and that shocked the hell out of me.
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There was still power and there most certainly was strength.
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And it was that moment where I knew a that I had married the
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right person, but also BI remembered the power of showing
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up. And I think that's what I mean
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by the spectrum of it all. When to have grace and
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compassion for yourself, when to rest, when to stay home, and
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when to call on that grit and resilience and really show up
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literally, figuratively, however you want to call it.
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For me, more often than not, the answer is show up because I've
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seen what you had to gain from that.
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It shocked me then, but it doesn't shock me anymore.
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I know it. I know the power of showing up.
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And I'm not saying there won't be days when you need to be
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alone, when you have to have your own darkness and you have
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to sort things out in that quiet space for yourself.
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I've been there too. But I would venture to guess
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that you're a lot tougher than you think you are.
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You have a well of strength that is deeper than you have ever
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really had to know, and it's sitting there waiting for you if
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you ever need to dip into it. I would venture to guess that
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the energy you think you'll lose from getting out into the world
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will actually be energy gained because you put yourself out
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there and you remind yourself of what you're capable of.
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Not every day is going to be a good day, not every season is
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going to go your way. But you always have the ability
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to choose, and the more consistent you can be with
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showing up, I think the better you get at discerning when the
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right time is for you to stay home and rest right now.
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I think this is the season for it.
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This is the season for showing up.
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You are a capable, resilient person who can bounce back up to
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the surface even when you get pushed down.
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Let's make showing up the default.
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Let's make consistency the norm and see what we can do this
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year. I guarantee it's so much more
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than you even think you're capable of.
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So thank you for being here and listening.
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I appreciate you. And as always, team, thank you
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for being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
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Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.