Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E124: It’s Time to Talk: Addiction, Stigma, and Breaking Free: Guest Elizabeth Kipp

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E124: It’s Time to Talk: Addiction, Stigma, and Breaking Free: Guest Elizabeth Kipp · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:00
  Hello
• 0:00
  again,
• 0:00
  and
• 0:00
  welcome
• 0:01
  back
• 0:01
  to
• 0:01
  another
• 0:01
  episode
• 0:02
  of
• 0:02
  Adult
• 0:02
  Child
• 0:02
  of
• 0:02
  Dysfunction.
• 0:03
  Today,
• 0:04
  our
• 0:04
  guest
• 0:04
  is
• 0:04
  actually
• 0:05
  another
• 0:05
  return
• 0:06
  guest,
• 0:06
  Elizabeth
• 0:07
  Kipp.
• 0:08
  She
• 0:08
  was
• 0:08
  back
• 0:09
  with
• 0:09
  us
• 0:09
  way
• 0:10
  back
• 0:10
  in
• 0:10
  episode,
• 0:10
  I
• 0:10
  believe,
• 0:11
  22.
• 0:12
  But
• 0:12
  I
• 0:13
  absolutely
• 0:13
  adore
• 0:13
  having
• 0:14
  her
• 0:14
  here.
• 0:14
  She
• 0:15
  talks
• 0:15
  about,
• 0:15
  she's
• 0:15
  a
• 0:15
  stress
• 0:16
  management
• 0:17
  and
• 0:17
  pain
• 0:17
  histo
• 0:17
  okay,
• 0:18
  historical
• 0:19
  trauma
• 0:20
  specialist,
• 0:21
  right?
• 0:21
  And
• 0:21
  there
• 0:22
  was
• 0:22
  a
• 0:22
  whole
• 0:22
  lot
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  that,
• 0:22
  and
• 0:22
  it
• 0:22
  was
• 0:23
  very
• 0:23
  cool.
• 0:23
  But
• 0:23
  she
• 0:24
  wrote
• 0:24
  a
• 0:24
  book
• 0:24
  called
• 0:24
  The
• 0:25
  Way
• 0:25
  Through
• 0:25
  Chronic
• 0:25
  Pain,
• 0:26
  Tools
• 0:26
  to
• 0:27
  Reclaim
• 0:27
  Your
• 0:27
  Healing
• 0:28
  Power.
• 0:29
  And
• 0:29
  she
• 0:29
  does
• 0:30
  a
• 0:30
  conglomerate
• 0:31
  of
• 0:31
  things.
• 0:31
  She
• 0:32
  is,
• 0:32
  she
• 0:32
  does
• 0:33
  so
• 0:33
  many
• 0:33
  different
• 0:33
  things,
• 0:34
  but
• 0:34
  I
• 0:34
  want
• 0:34
  to
• 0:34
  just
• 0:35
  welcome
• 0:35
  her
• 0:35
  back
• 0:36
  and
• 0:36
  let
• 0:36
  her
• 0:36
  tell
• 0:36
  you
• 0:36
  a
• 0:37
  little
• 0:37
  bit
• 0:37
  about
• 0:37
  herself.
• 0:38
  But
• 0:38
  again,
• 0:38
  if
• 0:38
  you
• 0:39
  want
• 0:39
  to
• 0:39
  hear
• 0:39
  more,
• 0:39
  go
• 0:39
  back
• 0:40
  to
• 0:40
  episode
• 0:40
  22,
• 0:41
  and
• 0:41
  you
• 0:41
  can
• 0:41
  hear
• 0:41
  even
• 0:41
  more
• 0:42
  about
• 0:42
  Elizabeth.
• 0:43
  But
• 0:43
  welcome,
• 0:44
  Elizabeth.
• 0:45
  Oh,
• 0:45
  thank
• 0:45
  you
• 0:45
  so
• 0:46
  much,
• 0:46
  Tim.
• 0:46
  It's
• 0:46
  great
• 0:46
  to
• 0:47
  see
• 0:47
  you
• 0:47
  again.
• 0:47
  It's
• 0:47
  great
• 0:47
  to
• 0:48
  be
• 0:48
  on
• 0:48
  again.
• 0:49
  Really
• 0:49
  appreciate
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  platform,
• 0:51
  the
• 0:51
  topic
• 0:52
  dysfunctional
• 0:53
  families.
• 0:54
  And
• 0:54
  this,
• 0:55
  today,
• 0:56
  talking
• 0:56
  about
• 0:57
  stigma
• 0:57
  around
• 0:58
  mental
• 0:58
  illness
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  don't
• 1:00
  know
• 1:00
  what
• 1:00
  it
• 1:00
  was
• 1:00
  like
• 1:00
  for
• 1:00
  you,
• 1:01
  but
• 1:01
  for
• 1:01
  me,
• 1:02
  I
• 1:03
  grew
• 1:03
  up
• 1:03
  in
• 1:03
  a
• 1:03
  dysfunctional
• 1:04
  family,
• 1:04
  and
• 1:05
  our
• 1:06
  method
• 1:06
  of
• 1:07
  coping
• 1:07
  was
• 1:07
  to
• 1:08
  deny
• 1:08
  our
• 1:08
  experience,
• 1:10
  right?
• 1:11
  Yep.
• 1:11
  Deny
• 1:11
  and
• 1:11
  avoid.
• 1:12
  Deny
• 1:12
  and
• 1:12
  avoid.
• 1:13
  It
• 1:13
  never
• 1:13
  happened.
• 1:14
  We're
• 1:14
  not
• 1:14
  talking
• 1:15
  about
• 1:15
  that,
• 1:16
  and
• 1:16
  that's
• 1:17
  difficult
• 1:17
  as
• 1:17
  a
• 1:18
  child
• 1:19
  to
• 1:19
  navigate.
• 1:20
  You
• 1:20
  know
• 1:20
  why?
• 1:21
  Because
• 1:21
  I
• 1:21
  began
• 1:22
  to
• 1:22
  question
• 1:22
  my
• 1:22
  own
• 1:23
  senses.
• 1:24
  Did
• 1:24
  that
• 1:24
  happen?
• 1:25
  They're
• 1:26
  denying
• 1:26
  it
• 1:26
  happened.
• 1:26
  And
• 1:27
  that's
• 1:27
  a
• 1:27
  a
• 1:28
  different
• 1:28
  form
• 1:28
  of
• 1:29
  gaslighting,
• 1:30
  would
• 1:30
  you
• 1:30
  say?
• 1:31
  Just
• 1:31
  it's
• 1:31
  not
• 1:31
  like
• 1:32
  they're
• 1:32
  telling
• 1:32
  you
• 1:32
  that
• 1:33
  you're
• 1:33
  not,
• 1:33
  you
• 1:33
  didn't
• 1:33
  see
• 1:34
  that.
• 1:34
  They're
• 1:35
  just
• 1:35
  not
• 1:35
  accepting
• 1:36
  what
• 1:36
  they
• 1:36
  just
• 1:37
  experienced,
• 1:38
  right?
• 1:39
  Exactly.
• 1:40
  I
• 1:40
  tell
• 1:40
  the
• 1:40
  story
• 1:41
  about
• 1:41
  when
• 1:41
  my
• 1:41
  mom
• 1:41
  dropped
• 1:42
  her
• 1:42
  pants.
• 1:42
  She
• 1:42
  got
• 1:42
  stung
• 1:43
  by
• 1:43
  a
• 1:43
  bee,
• 1:43
  dropped
• 1:44
  her
• 1:44
  pants
• 1:44
  in
• 1:44
  a
• 1:44
  bog
• 1:45
  field
• 1:46
  in
• 1:46
  front
• 1:46
  of
• 1:47
  150
• 1:47
  people
• 1:47
  and
• 1:47
  was
• 1:48
  so
• 1:48
  drunk
• 1:48
  and
• 1:49
  just
• 1:49
  the
• 1:49
  mouth
• 1:50
  coming
• 1:50
  out
• 1:50
  of
• 1:50
  her.
• 1:51
  And
• 1:51
  I'm
• 1:51
  like
• 1:51
  seven
• 1:51
  years
• 1:52
  old,
• 1:52
  whatever
• 1:52
  it
• 1:52
  was,
• 1:53
  first
• 1:53
  grade,
• 1:53
  six,
• 1:54
  seven
• 1:54
  years
• 1:54
  old.
• 1:55
  And
• 1:56
  I
• 1:56
  was
• 1:56
  humiliated
• 1:57
  and
• 1:57
  ashamed
• 1:58
  to
• 1:58
  be
• 1:58
  like,
• 1:58
  that's
• 1:59
  where
• 1:59
  my
• 1:59
  shame
• 1:59
  started
• 2:00
  at
• 2:00
  six
• 2:00
  years
• 2:00
  old
• 2:00
  where.
• 2:01
  I
• 2:01
  wouldn't
• 2:02
  go
• 2:02
  to
• 2:02
  a
• 2:02
  birthday
• 2:02
  party.
• 2:03
  I
• 2:03
  wouldn't
• 2:03
  go
• 2:03
  anywhere
• 2:04
  for
• 2:05
  fear
• 2:05
  that
• 2:05
  somebody
• 2:06
  that
• 2:06
  was
• 2:06
  at
• 2:06
  that
• 2:06
  ball
• 2:06
  field
• 2:07
  would
• 2:07
  recognize
• 2:07
  me
• 2:08
  and
• 2:08
  put
• 2:08
  me
• 2:08
  together
• 2:09
  with
• 2:09
  her.
• 2:10
  But
• 2:10
  literally
• 2:11
  we
• 2:11
  got
• 2:11
  in
• 2:11
  the
• 2:11
  car,
• 2:12
  it
• 2:12
  was
• 2:12
  never
• 2:12
  even
• 2:12
  mentioned.
• 2:13
  No
• 2:14
  one
• 2:14
  said
• 2:15
  anything.
• 2:15
  And
• 2:16
  it's
• 2:16
  but
• 2:16
  it
• 2:17
  literally
• 2:17
  threw
• 2:17
  me
• 2:17
  into
• 2:18
  three
• 2:18
  years
• 2:19
  until
• 2:19
  we
• 2:19
  moved
• 2:21
  that
• 2:21
  what,
• 2:21
  what
• 2:22
  just
• 2:22
  happened?
• 2:22
  Like
• 2:22
  I
• 2:23
  had
• 2:23
  no
• 2:23
  idea,
• 2:23
  but
• 2:23
  boy,
• 2:24
  it,
• 2:25
  Instantly,
• 2:25
  that
• 2:25
  was
• 2:25
  like
• 2:26
  instant
• 2:26
  shame.
• 2:27
  Instant.
• 2:28
  And
• 2:28
  it
• 2:28
  carried
• 2:29
  me
• 2:29
  through
• 2:30
  a
• 2:30
  lot.
• 2:30
  But
• 2:30
  yeah,
• 2:31
  we
• 2:31
  don't,
• 2:31
  we
• 2:31
  didn't
• 2:31
  talk
• 2:32
  about
• 2:32
  it.
• 2:32
  And
• 2:33
  also
• 2:33
  there
• 2:34
  was
• 2:34
  the
• 2:34
  other
• 2:34
  part
• 2:35
  of,
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  comments
• 2:37
  from
• 2:37
  my
• 2:37
  parents
• 2:38
  don't
• 2:38
  ever
• 2:38
  talk
• 2:38
  about
• 2:38
  how
• 2:39
  things
• 2:39
  are
• 2:39
  at
• 2:39
  home.
• 2:39
  Don't
• 2:40
  ever
• 2:40
  talk.
• 2:40
  It's
• 2:40
  not
• 2:40
  important.
• 2:41
  Nobody
• 2:42
  wants
• 2:42
  to
• 2:42
  hear
• 2:42
  your
• 2:42
  sad
• 2:42
  stories.
• 2:43
  Nobody
• 2:43
  this,
• 2:44
  nobody
• 2:44
  that.
• 2:44
  So
• 2:44
  you
• 2:44
  do.
• 2:45
  You
• 2:45
  start
• 2:45
  to
• 2:45
  question,
• 2:46
  one,
• 2:46
  am
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  the
• 2:47
  only
• 2:47
  one?
• 2:48
  Or
• 2:48
  two
• 2:48
  what
• 2:49
  is
• 2:49
  this?
• 2:49
  What
• 2:49
  the
• 2:49
  hell
• 2:50
  is
• 2:50
  this?
• 2:51
  Is
• 2:51
  this,
• 2:51
  my
• 2:51
  imagination?
• 2:52
  Is
• 2:52
  it
• 2:53
  even
• 2:53
  real?
• 2:53
  That
• 2:53
  kind
• 2:54
  of
• 2:54
  thing.
• 2:54
  Also,
• 2:56
  in
• 2:56
  my
• 2:56
  case
• 2:57
  I
• 2:57
  was,
• 2:58
  I
• 2:58
  felt
• 2:59
  very
• 2:59
  pulled.
• 3:01
  Between
• 3:01
  two
• 3:03
  places.
• 3:03
  One,
• 3:04
  being
• 3:04
  loyal
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  my
• 3:05
  family.
• 3:06
  So
• 3:07
  not
• 3:07
  saying
• 3:07
  anything.
• 3:08
  And
• 3:09
  then
• 3:10
  what
• 3:10
  do
• 3:10
  I
• 3:10
  do
• 3:10
  about
• 3:11
  taking
• 3:11
  care
• 3:11
  of
• 3:11
  me?
• 3:12
  And
• 3:12
  of
• 3:13
  course,
• 3:13
  the
• 3:13
  loyalty
• 3:14
  won
• 3:14
  every
• 3:14
  time.
• 3:15
  Because,
• 3:15
  that's
• 3:16
  what
• 3:16
  we
• 3:16
  do.
• 3:16
  We
• 3:17
  as,
• 3:17
  This
• 3:18
  is
• 3:18
  something
• 3:18
  that
• 3:19
  I
• 3:19
  learned,
• 3:19
  I'm
• 3:20
  not
• 3:20
  a
• 3:20
  psychology
• 3:21
  major,
• 3:21
  but
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  did
• 3:22
  have
• 3:22
  some
• 3:22
  courses
• 3:23
  in
• 3:23
  psychology
• 3:24
  when
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  went
• 3:24
  to
• 3:24
  college,
• 3:24
  but
• 3:25
  lately
• 3:26
  I've
• 3:26
  gotten
• 3:26
  into
• 3:27
  trauma
• 3:28
  work,
• 3:28
  and
• 3:30
  we're
• 3:30
  so
• 3:30
  wired
• 3:31
  to
• 3:31
  attach
• 3:33
  to
• 3:33
  our
• 3:33
  primary
• 3:34
  caretaker,
• 3:34
  whoever
• 3:35
  our
• 3:35
  primary
• 3:36
  caretakers
• 3:36
  are.
• 3:38
  That
• 3:38
  we
• 3:39
  would
• 3:39
  rather
• 3:40
  attach
• 3:40
  in
• 3:40
  a
• 3:40
  dysfunctional,
• 3:41
  and
• 3:41
  we
• 3:42
  might
• 3:42
  have
• 3:42
  talked
• 3:42
  about
• 3:42
  this,
• 3:42
  in
• 3:43
  a
• 3:43
  dysfunctional
• 3:43
  way
• 3:44
  than
• 3:45
  and
• 3:45
  not
• 3:45
  be,
• 3:45
  lose
• 3:46
  track
• 3:47
  of
• 3:47
  our
• 3:47
  authentic
• 3:47
  self,
• 3:48
  than
• 3:48
  not
• 3:49
  attach.
• 3:50
  Like
• 3:50
  it's
• 3:50
  that
• 3:51
  strong.
• 3:52
  So
• 3:52
  now
• 3:53
  we
• 3:53
  have
• 3:53
  a
• 3:53
  crisis
• 3:53
  of
• 3:54
  consciousness,
• 3:54
  and
• 3:54
  now
• 3:55
  we're
• 3:56
  ashamed
• 3:56
  because,
• 3:57
  Oh,
• 3:57
  I'm
• 3:58
  supposed
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  be
• 3:58
  loyal
• 3:58
  to
• 3:59
  my
• 3:59
  family,
• 3:59
  so
• 3:59
  I'll
• 4:00
  put
• 4:00
  myself
• 4:01
  in
• 4:02
  second
• 4:02
  position.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:04
  it
• 4:04
  happens
• 4:05
  from
• 4:05
  fear,
• 4:05
  like
• 4:06
  you
• 4:06
  said,
• 4:06
  fear,
• 4:06
  but
• 4:07
  it
• 4:07
  happens
• 4:07
  from
• 4:07
  also
• 4:08
  your
• 4:09
  brain
• 4:09
  is,
• 4:09
  that's
• 4:09
  natural.
• 4:10
  Your
• 4:10
  brain
• 4:11
  is,
• 4:11
  that's
• 4:11
  why
• 4:11
  kids
• 4:12
  internalize
• 4:12
  and
• 4:12
  that's
• 4:13
  why
• 4:13
  they
• 4:13
  lose
• 4:13
  that
• 4:13
  sense
• 4:14
  of
• 4:14
  self
• 4:14
  because
• 4:15
  no
• 4:15
  way
• 4:16
  is
• 4:16
  a
• 4:16
  five
• 4:16
  year
• 4:17
  old
• 4:17
  going
• 4:17
  to
• 4:18
  think
• 4:18
  that
• 4:18
  their
• 4:18
  parents
• 4:19
  are
• 4:19
  wrong.
• 4:19
  They
• 4:20
  didn't,
• 4:20
  they
• 4:20
  depend
• 4:20
  on
• 4:21
  them
• 4:21
  a
• 4:21
  hundred
• 4:21
  percent.
• 4:22
  So
• 4:22
  it
• 4:22
  turns
• 4:23
  around
• 4:23
  and
• 4:23
  it's,
• 4:24
  it
• 4:24
  must
• 4:24
  be
• 4:24
  me.
• 4:25
  And
• 4:25
  that's
• 4:25
  how
• 4:25
  they
• 4:25
  lose,
• 4:26
  that's
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  very
• 4:26
  beginning
• 4:27
  of
• 4:27
  that
• 4:27
  sense
• 4:27
  of
• 4:28
  self
• 4:28
  where
• 4:29
  it
• 4:29
  can't
• 4:30
  be
• 4:30
  them.
• 4:30
  It
• 4:30
  has
• 4:30
  to
• 4:30
  be
• 4:31
  me
• 4:31
  because
• 4:32
  you
• 4:32
  depend
• 4:33
  on
• 4:33
  them
• 4:33
  for
• 4:33
  survival.
• 4:34
  So
• 4:35
  yeah,
• 4:35
  you're
• 4:35
  never
• 4:35
  going
• 4:35
  to
• 4:35
  turn
• 4:36
  on
• 4:36
  your
• 4:36
  parents,
• 4:36
  especially
• 4:37
  when
• 4:37
  they're
• 4:37
  little.
• 4:38
  When
• 4:38
  you're
• 4:38
  little,
• 4:39
  ever.
• 4:39
  Yes,
• 4:40
  and
• 4:40
  so
• 4:40
  now
• 4:42
  that
• 4:42
  becomes
• 4:43
  a
• 4:43
  pattern.
• 4:45
  So
• 4:45
  now
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  brain
• 4:46
  has
• 4:47
  wiring,
• 4:48
  remember
• 4:48
  they
• 4:48
  learned
• 4:49
  years
• 4:49
  ago
• 4:51
  that
• 4:51
  neurons
• 4:52
  that
• 4:52
  wire
• 4:52
  together
• 4:53
  fire
• 4:53
  together.
• 4:54
  And
• 4:54
  the
• 4:55
  more
• 4:55
  they've,
• 4:55
  the
• 4:56
  more
• 4:56
  we
• 4:56
  access
• 4:57
  that
• 4:58
  program,
• 4:59
  that,
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  habit,
• 5:02
  the
• 5:02
  faster
• 5:03
  the
• 5:03
  stronger
• 5:03
  the
• 5:04
  connection
• 5:04
  is
• 5:04
  and
• 5:04
  the
• 5:04
  faster
• 5:05
  it
• 5:05
  is
• 5:05
  to
• 5:05
  fire.
• 5:07
  So
• 5:07
  now
• 5:07
  we
• 5:08
  have
• 5:08
  something
• 5:08
  that's
• 5:08
  got
• 5:10
  it's
• 5:10
  got
• 5:10
  momentum.
• 5:12
  It's
• 5:12
  got
• 5:12
  strength.
• 5:13
  It's
• 5:13
  got
• 5:13
  momentum.
• 5:15
  It's
• 5:15
  got
• 5:15
  it's
• 5:15
  got
• 5:16
  this
• 5:16
  reference
• 5:16
  point
• 5:17
  that,
• 5:17
  that's
• 5:17
  our
• 5:17
  default
• 5:18
  now.
• 5:19
  So
• 5:20
  the
• 5:20
  work
• 5:21
  when
• 5:21
  we're
• 5:21
  trying
• 5:21
  to,
• 5:23
  and
• 5:23
  of
• 5:23
  course
• 5:23
  this
• 5:24
  turns
• 5:24
  in,
• 5:24
  this
• 5:24
  is
• 5:24
  the
• 5:25
  root
• 5:25
  of
• 5:25
  addiction.
• 5:26
  This
• 5:26
  is
• 5:26
  unresolved
• 5:27
  trauma
• 5:28
  and
• 5:28
  really
• 5:29
  if
• 5:29
  you
• 5:29
  listen
• 5:29
  to
• 5:30
  Dr.
• 5:31
  Gabor
• 5:31
  Maté
• 5:31
  and
• 5:32
  other
• 5:32
  trauma
• 5:32
  specialists
• 5:33
  these
• 5:33
  days,
• 5:33
  they'll
• 5:34
  say.
• 5:35
  That
• 5:37
  quote
• 5:37
  unquote
• 5:38
  mental
• 5:38
  illness
• 5:39
  is
• 5:40
  really
• 5:40
  us
• 5:41
  trying
• 5:41
  to
• 5:41
  keep
• 5:41
  ourselves
• 5:42
  safe.
• 5:43
  There
• 5:43
  are
• 5:43
  all
• 5:43
  trauma
• 5:44
  responses.
• 5:44
  There
• 5:45
  are
• 5:45
  strategies
• 5:46
  to
• 5:46
  keep
• 5:46
  us
• 5:46
  safe
• 5:47
  in,
• 5:47
  in,
• 5:47
  in
• 5:48
  this
• 5:48
  space
• 5:48
  where
• 5:48
  we've
• 5:49
  lost
• 5:49
  track
• 5:49
  of
• 5:50
  our
• 5:50
  authentic
• 5:50
  self.
• 5:50
  We
• 5:50
  don't
• 5:51
  know
• 5:51
  how
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  show
• 5:51
  up.
• 5:51
  We're
• 5:52
  so
• 5:52
  twisted
• 5:53
  in
• 5:53
  on
• 5:53
  ourselves
• 5:54
  that
• 5:55
  we,
• 5:55
  that
• 5:56
  we
• 5:56
  have
• 5:56
  this
• 5:57
  quote
• 5:57
  unquote
• 5:57
  aberrant
• 5:58
  behavior.
• 5:59
  But
• 5:59
  Dr.
• 6:01
  Amate's
• 6:01
  latest
• 6:02
  book,
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  myth
• 6:02
  of
• 6:03
  normal,
• 6:03
  what
• 6:03
  is
• 6:04
  normal.
• 6:05
  I
• 6:05
  have
• 6:05
  not
• 6:06
  read
• 6:06
  that
• 6:06
  one,
• 6:06
  but
• 6:06
  it's
• 6:06
  actually,
• 6:07
  I
• 6:07
  bought
• 6:07
  it.
• 6:08
  I
• 6:09
  have
• 6:09
  it
• 6:09
  sitting
• 6:09
  in
• 6:09
  my
• 6:10
  stack
• 6:10
  of
• 6:10
  400
• 6:11
  books
• 6:11
  to
• 6:12
  read.
• 6:12
  It's
• 6:12
  a
• 6:12
  huge
• 6:13
  book
• 6:13
  but
• 6:13
  the
• 6:14
  thumbnail
• 6:14
  there,
• 6:14
  one,
• 6:15
  one
• 6:15
  of
• 6:15
  the
• 6:15
  little
• 6:16
  bits
• 6:16
  is
• 6:17
  how
• 6:17
  are
• 6:17
  you
• 6:17
  going
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  be
• 6:17
  normal
• 6:18
  in
• 6:18
  a
• 6:18
  society
• 6:19
  that's
• 6:20
  not,
• 6:21
  right?
• 6:22
  We
• 6:22
  look
• 6:22
  at
• 6:22
  all
• 6:23
  the,
• 6:24
  we
• 6:24
  look
• 6:24
  at
• 6:25
  all
• 6:25
  the
• 6:25
  difficulty
• 6:26
  everybody's
• 6:26
  having
• 6:27
  in
• 6:27
  our
• 6:27
  current
• 6:28
  kind
• 6:28
  of
• 6:28
  Western
• 6:28
  society.
• 6:29
  Yeah,
• 6:30
  and
• 6:30
  I
• 6:30
  look
• 6:30
  at
• 6:30
  it
• 6:30
  and
• 6:30
  I
• 6:31
  think
• 6:31
  that's
• 6:31
  what
• 6:31
  triggered
• 6:32
  me
• 6:32
  to
• 6:32
  do
• 6:32
  this
• 6:33
  thing
• 6:33
  about
• 6:34
  the
• 6:34
  stigma
• 6:34
  because
• 6:35
  that's
• 6:35
  my
• 6:35
  big
• 6:35
  Thing
• 6:35
  like
• 6:36
  I
• 6:36
  want
• 6:36
  to
• 6:36
  get
• 6:36
  up
• 6:36
  on
• 6:36
  top
• 6:36
  of
• 6:37
  a
• 6:37
  mountain
• 6:37
  and
• 6:37
  just
• 6:37
  scream
• 6:38
  stop
• 6:38
  there
• 6:39
  should
• 6:39
  be
• 6:39
  no
• 6:40
  they
• 6:40
  don't
• 6:40
  call
• 6:40
  it
• 6:41
  cancer
• 6:41
  anonymous
• 6:42
  They
• 6:42
  don't
• 6:42
  call
• 6:43
  it
• 6:43
  like
• 6:43
  it
• 6:43
  just
• 6:43
  drives
• 6:44
  me
• 6:44
  crazy
• 6:45
  that
• 6:45
  there's
• 6:45
  still
• 6:46
  so
• 6:46
  much
• 6:46
  stigma
• 6:47
  behind
• 6:47
  so
• 6:47
  many
• 6:48
  different
• 6:48
  things
• 6:49
  you
• 6:49
  know
• 6:49
  and
• 6:51
  It
• 6:51
  just
• 6:52
  makes
• 6:52
  me
• 6:52
  irritate
• 6:53
  like
• 6:53
  it's
• 6:53
  one
• 6:53
  of
• 6:53
  my
• 6:54
  just
• 6:54
  it's
• 6:54
  like
• 6:55
  Taking
• 6:55
  a
• 6:56
  pencil
• 6:57
  in
• 6:57
  my
• 6:57
  side
• 6:57
  like
• 6:58
  all
• 6:58
  the
• 6:58
  time
• 6:58
  like
• 6:59
  it's
• 6:59
  just
• 7:00
  because
• 7:00
  but
• 7:00
  I
• 7:00
  love
• 7:01
  that
• 7:01
  you
• 7:01
  of
• 7:01
  when
• 7:01
  we
• 7:01
  first
• 7:02
  talked
• 7:02
  today
• 7:02
  That
• 7:02
  you
• 7:03
  approached
• 7:03
  that
• 7:03
  and
• 7:04
  you
• 7:04
  said
• 7:04
  I
• 7:04
  want
• 7:05
  to
• 7:05
  talk
• 7:05
  about
• 7:05
  it
• 7:05
  from
• 7:06
  the
• 7:06
  angle
• 7:06
  of
• 7:07
  it's
• 7:07
  Fear.
• 7:08
  So
• 7:09
  talk
• 7:09
  about
• 7:09
  that.
• 7:10
  Sure.
• 7:11
  One
• 7:11
  of
• 7:12
  the
• 7:12
  things
• 7:12
  that
• 7:12
  we
• 7:13
  just
• 7:13
  from
• 7:13
  a,
• 7:14
  we
• 7:14
  look,
• 7:14
  we
• 7:14
  can
• 7:15
  go
• 7:15
  way
• 7:15
  down
• 7:15
  into
• 7:15
  the
• 7:15
  weeds
• 7:16
  or
• 7:16
  we
• 7:16
  can
• 7:16
  look
• 7:16
  at
• 7:16
  the
• 7:17
  greater
• 7:17
  landscape
• 7:19
  from
• 7:19
  afar
• 7:19
  and
• 7:19
  we
• 7:20
  can
• 7:20
  look
• 7:20
  at
• 7:20
  it
• 7:20
  and
• 7:21
  say,
• 7:21
  it's
• 7:22
  us
• 7:22
  versus
• 7:23
  them.
• 7:24
  And
• 7:24
  so
• 7:25
  now
• 7:25
  we're
• 7:25
  suffering
• 7:26
  from
• 7:26
  the
• 7:26
  wound
• 7:26
  of
• 7:26
  separation.
• 7:28
  So
• 7:29
  you
• 7:29
  can
• 7:29
  look
• 7:29
  at
• 7:29
  it,
• 7:30
  bring
• 7:31
  that
• 7:31
  angle
• 7:31
  in,
• 7:32
  and
• 7:33
  then,
• 7:33
  you
• 7:33
  can,
• 7:34
  for
• 7:34
  me,
• 7:35
  I
• 7:35
  grew
• 7:35
  up
• 7:35
  in
• 7:35
  a
• 7:36
  household
• 7:37
  where,
• 7:39
  even
• 7:40
  though
• 7:40
  it
• 7:40
  was
• 7:40
  dysfunctional
• 7:41
  my
• 7:42
  mom
• 7:42
  had
• 7:42
  a
• 7:42
  bipolar
• 7:43
  disorder
• 7:43
  and
• 7:44
  used
• 7:44
  alcohol
• 7:44
  to
• 7:45
  deal
• 7:45
  with
• 7:45
  her
• 7:45
  crying.
• 7:45
  So
• 7:46
  that
• 7:46
  was
• 7:46
  a
• 7:46
  really
• 7:47
  untreated
• 7:47
  bipolar,
• 7:48
  they
• 7:48
  didn't
• 7:48
  even
• 7:48
  know
• 7:49
  what
• 7:49
  it
• 7:49
  was
• 7:49
  back
• 7:49
  then.
• 7:50
  I
• 7:50
  was
• 7:50
  gonna
• 7:50
  say,
• 7:50
  my
• 7:51
  mom
• 7:51
  too,
• 7:51
  like
• 7:51
  you,
• 7:52
  you
• 7:52
  knew,
• 7:52
  like
• 7:53
  looking
• 7:53
  at
• 7:53
  the
• 7:53
  diagnosis
• 7:54
  now
• 7:54
  you
• 7:54
  knew
• 7:54
  what
• 7:55
  it
• 7:55
  was,
• 7:55
  but
• 7:56
  those
• 7:56
  words,
• 7:56
  and
• 7:56
  she
• 7:56
  was
• 7:57
  a
• 7:57
  child
• 7:57
  psychiatrist
• 7:58
  and
• 7:58
  she
• 7:58
  never
• 8:01
  said
• 8:01
  those
• 8:01
  words.
• 8:01
  Yeah.
• 8:02
  Yeah.
• 8:03
  So
• 8:04
  the,
• 8:06
  what
• 8:06
  I
• 8:06
  heard
• 8:07
  in
• 8:07
  my
• 8:07
  household
• 8:08
  as
• 8:08
  a
• 8:08
  kid
• 8:09
  was.
• 8:10
  anybody
• 8:11
  that
• 8:11
  shows
• 8:12
  any
• 8:12
  sign
• 8:12
  of
• 8:12
  mental
• 8:13
  illness
• 8:13
  is
• 8:13
  going
• 8:13
  to
• 8:13
  end
• 8:14
  up
• 8:14
  in
• 8:14
  the
• 8:14
  insane
• 8:15
  asylum.
• 8:15
  I
• 8:15
  didn't
• 8:15
  have
• 8:15
  a
• 8:16
  name.
• 8:17
  That's
• 8:18
  what
• 8:18
  that
• 8:18
  was.
• 8:19
  Yeah,
• 8:19
  that
• 8:19
  was
• 8:19
  it.
• 8:19
  They
• 8:20
  had
• 8:20
  this
• 8:20
  crass
• 8:21
  name
• 8:21
  for
• 8:21
  it.
• 8:22
  So
• 8:22
  right
• 8:22
  away,
• 8:23
  there's
• 8:24
  judgment,
• 8:25
  stigma.
• 8:27
  They're
• 8:28
  those
• 8:29
  people,
• 8:29
  not
• 8:29
  us.
• 8:30
  There's
• 8:30
  this
• 8:31
  all
• 8:31
  this
• 8:32
  not
• 8:33
  taking
• 8:33
  ownership
• 8:34
  in
• 8:34
  humanity,
• 8:36
  in
• 8:36
  our
• 8:37
  flaws.
• 8:38
  Of
• 8:38
  course,
• 8:38
  there
• 8:38
  was
• 8:39
  no,
• 8:39
  again,
• 8:40
  the
• 8:40
  denial,
• 8:41
  any
• 8:41
  time,
• 8:41
  any,
• 8:42
  of
• 8:42
  course,
• 8:42
  the
• 8:42
  kids,
• 8:43
  my
• 8:43
  brother
• 8:43
  and
• 8:44
  I,
• 8:44
  we
• 8:44
  got
• 8:44
  in
• 8:45
  all
• 8:45
  kinds
• 8:45
  of
• 8:45
  trouble
• 8:45
  for
• 8:46
  our
• 8:46
  imperfections,
• 8:47
  but
• 8:49
  when
• 8:49
  their
• 8:50
  imperfections
• 8:51
  showed
• 8:51
  up,
• 8:52
  that
• 8:52
  all
• 8:52
  got
• 8:52
  pushed
• 8:53
  under
• 8:53
  the
• 8:53
  rug.
• 8:53
  So
• 8:54
  that's
• 8:54
  a
• 8:54
  very
• 8:55
  chaotic
• 8:55
  environment
• 8:56
  to
• 8:56
  grow
• 8:57
  up
• 8:57
  in
• 8:58
  but
• 8:58
  underneath
• 8:59
  all
• 8:59
  of
• 8:59
  that.
• 9:00
  is
• 9:01
  fear
• 9:02
  from
• 9:02
  misunderstanding,
• 9:04
  non
• 9:04
  understanding.
• 9:05
  Oh,
• 9:05
  that
• 9:05
  must
• 9:05
  be
• 9:06
  terrible.
• 9:06
  I
• 9:06
  don't
• 9:07
  I,
• 9:07
  and
• 9:07
  we
• 9:07
  don't
• 9:08
  have
• 9:08
  any,
• 9:08
  maybe
• 9:08
  we
• 9:09
  don't
• 9:09
  have
• 9:09
  any
• 9:09
  control
• 9:10
  over
• 9:10
  it.
• 9:11
  And
• 9:11
  interestingly
• 9:12
  enough,
• 9:13
  they
• 9:14
  stayed
• 9:14
  in
• 9:14
  that
• 9:14
  position
• 9:15
  rather
• 9:15
  than
• 9:16
  go
• 9:16
  learn
• 9:16
  more
• 9:16
  about
• 9:17
  it.
• 9:18
  Isn't
• 9:18
  that
• 9:18
  interesting?
• 9:19
  I'd
• 9:19
  rather
• 9:20
  stay
• 9:20
  in
• 9:20
  my
• 9:20
  entrenched
• 9:22
  judgmental,
• 9:24
  they're
• 9:24
  wrong.
• 9:26
  I'm
• 9:26
  afraid
• 9:26
  of
• 9:26
  that.
• 9:27
  I
• 9:27
  have
• 9:28
  no
• 9:28
  control.
• 9:28
  I
• 9:28
  don't
• 9:29
  feel
• 9:29
  like
• 9:29
  I
• 9:29
  have
• 9:29
  any
• 9:29
  control.
• 9:30
  I'm
• 9:30
  powerless
• 9:31
  over
• 9:31
  that.
• 9:32
  So
• 9:32
  I'm
• 9:32
  just
• 9:33
  gonna,
• 9:34
  I'm
• 9:34
  just
• 9:34
  gonna
• 9:34
  put
• 9:34
  it
• 9:35
  over
• 9:35
  there,
• 9:35
  push
• 9:35
  it
• 9:35
  away
• 9:36
  from
• 9:36
  me.
• 9:37
  That's
• 9:38
  not
• 9:38
  a
• 9:38
  recipe
• 9:39
  for
• 9:39
  healing.
• 9:40
  No.
• 9:41
  And
• 9:41
  it's
• 9:41
  not,
• 9:41
  it's
• 9:42
  just,
• 9:42
  in
• 9:42
  this
• 9:42
  world,
• 9:43
  like
• 9:43
  you
• 9:43
  said,
• 9:43
  I
• 9:44
  talked
• 9:44
  to
• 9:44
  my
• 9:44
  clients
• 9:45
  and
• 9:45
  when
• 9:46
  they
• 9:46
  say
• 9:46
  I
• 9:46
  didn't
• 9:46
  want
• 9:46
  to
• 9:46
  say
• 9:47
  anything.
• 9:47
  And
• 9:47
  I'm
• 9:47
  like,
• 9:48
  you
• 9:48
  don't
• 9:48
  think
• 9:49
  when
• 9:49
  you're
• 9:49
  in
• 9:49
  a
• 9:49
  room
• 9:50
  of
• 9:50
  26
• 9:50
  people,
• 9:52
  That
• 9:52
  probably
• 9:52
  22
• 9:53
  of
• 9:53
  them
• 9:54
  are
• 9:54
  suffering
• 9:54
  some
• 9:55
  from
• 9:55
  some
• 9:56
  kind
• 9:56
  of
• 9:56
  mental
• 9:57
  health
• 9:57
  issue,
• 9:58
  at
• 9:58
  least
• 9:59
  25
• 9:59
  percent
• 10:00
  haven't
• 10:00
  have
• 10:00
  an
• 10:01
  addicted
• 10:01
  parent.
• 10:02
  There's
• 10:02
  you
• 10:03
  just
• 10:03
  couple
• 10:04
  all
• 10:04
  of
• 10:04
  the
• 10:04
  other
• 10:05
  things
• 10:05
  and
• 10:05
  the
• 10:05
  rate
• 10:06
  of,
• 10:06
  just
• 10:06
  everything
• 10:07
  right
• 10:07
  now.
• 10:08
  I'm
• 10:09
  like,
• 10:09
  you're
• 10:09
  not
• 10:09
  alone.
• 10:10
  It
• 10:10
  is
• 10:10
  now
• 10:11
  the,
• 10:11
  like
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  said,
• 10:12
  what
• 10:12
  is
• 10:12
  normal.
• 10:13
  I,
• 10:14
  it's
• 10:14
  completely
• 10:14
  flipped,
• 10:15
  if
• 10:15
  I
• 10:15
  had
• 10:15
  this
• 10:15
  completely
• 10:16
  healthy,
• 10:17
  well
• 10:17
  adjusted,
• 10:18
  normal
• 10:18
  growing
• 10:19
  up,
• 10:19
  I
• 10:19
  feel
• 10:19
  like
• 10:19
  I
• 10:20
  would
• 10:20
  be
• 10:20
  such
• 10:20
  the
• 10:20
  minority,
• 10:21
  it
• 10:21
  would
• 10:22
  be
• 10:22
  unbelievable.
• 10:24
  Yeah,
• 10:24
  I
• 10:24
  get
• 10:25
  really
• 10:25
  alarmed.
• 10:27
  at
• 10:27
  the
• 10:28
  suicide
• 10:28
  rate
• 10:29
  in
• 10:29
  the
• 10:29
  teen,
• 10:29
  teens
• 10:30
  these
• 10:30
  days.
• 10:30
  That,
• 10:30
  that's
• 10:31
  been,
• 10:31
  I've,
• 10:31
  and
• 10:31
  I've
• 10:32
  been
• 10:32
  watching
• 10:32
  that
• 10:32
  go
• 10:33
  up
• 10:33
  and
• 10:33
  it's
• 10:34
  been,
• 10:35
  it's
• 10:35
  alarming.
• 10:35
  It
• 10:35
  wasn't
• 10:36
  like
• 10:36
  that
• 10:36
  when
• 10:37
  I,
• 10:37
  there
• 10:37
  were,
• 10:38
  there
• 10:39
  was
• 10:39
  the
• 10:39
  occasional
• 10:40
  suicide
• 10:41
  that
• 10:41
  we'd
• 10:41
  hear
• 10:41
  about,
• 10:42
  but,
• 10:42
  and
• 10:43
  I
• 10:43
  have
• 10:43
  certain,
• 10:43
  I've
• 10:44
  had
• 10:44
  that
• 10:44
  in
• 10:44
  my
• 10:44
  own
• 10:44
  family,
• 10:45
  but
• 10:46
  not
• 10:46
  in
• 10:46
  the
• 10:46
  teenage
• 10:47
  years.
• 10:47
  It
• 10:47
  was
• 10:47
  usually,
• 10:48
  young
• 10:48
  adult
• 10:48
  to
• 10:49
  mid
• 10:49
  adult
• 10:49
  to
• 10:49
  later
• 10:50
  thing.
• 10:50
  And
• 10:50
  I'm
• 10:51
  not
• 10:51
  saying
• 10:51
  they're,
• 10:51
  it's
• 10:51
  all
• 10:52
  a
• 10:52
  mess.
• 10:52
  It's
• 10:52
  all.
• 10:53
  A
• 10:53
  problem,
• 10:54
  but
• 10:55
  yeah,
• 10:55
  I
• 10:55
  heard
• 10:56
  a
• 10:57
  statistic
• 10:58
  that's
• 10:58
  distressing
• 10:59
  to
• 10:59
  me
• 10:59
  and
• 10:59
  it
• 10:59
  makes
• 11:00
  me
• 11:00
  feel
• 11:00
  like
• 11:00
  there's
• 11:01
  more
• 11:01
  than
• 11:01
  25
• 11:02
  percent
• 11:02
  of
• 11:02
  us
• 11:02
  that
• 11:02
  have
• 11:03
  an
• 11:03
  addictive
• 11:03
  parent
• 11:03
  I
• 11:03
  think
• 11:04
  addiction
• 11:04
  is
• 11:06
  a
• 11:06
  much
• 11:06
  bigger
• 11:07
  issue
• 11:07
  than
• 11:07
  25
• 11:09
  that's
• 11:09
  just
• 11:10
  basically
• 11:10
  have
• 11:10
  at
• 11:11
  least
• 11:11
  one
• 11:11
  addicted
• 11:11
  parent
• 11:12
  and
• 11:12
  that
• 11:12
  was
• 11:12
  one
• 11:12
  in
• 11:13
  four.
• 11:13
  That's
• 11:13
  the
• 11:13
  big
• 11:14
  number
• 11:14
  that
• 11:15
  they're
• 11:15
  using
• 11:15
  right
• 11:15
  now
• 11:15
  for
• 11:16
  adult
• 11:16
  children
• 11:16
  of
• 11:16
  alcoholics
• 11:17
  acoa
• 11:18
  and
• 11:18
  All
• 11:18
  those
• 11:19
  programs,
• 11:19
  they
• 11:19
  basically
• 11:20
  say
• 11:20
  one
• 11:20
  in
• 11:20
  four.
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  agree
• 11:21
  because
• 11:23
  I
• 11:23
  was,
• 11:23
  I
• 11:23
  had
• 11:24
  two
• 11:25
  alcoholic
• 11:25
  parents,
• 11:26
  but
• 11:26
  didn't,
• 11:27
  nobody
• 11:27
  knew
• 11:27
  until
• 11:28
  my
• 11:28
  mom
• 11:28
  died.
• 11:29
  So
• 11:30
  that
• 11:30
  was,
• 11:30
  she
• 11:30
  wasn't
• 11:31
  a
• 11:31
  statistic
• 11:31
  until
• 11:32
  she
• 11:32
  passed.
• 11:33
  You
• 11:33
  know
• 11:33
  what
• 11:33
  I
• 11:33
  mean?
• 11:34
  Nobody
• 11:34
  said
• 11:34
  my
• 11:35
  dad
• 11:35
  was
• 11:35
  an
• 11:35
  alcoholic
• 11:36
  until
• 11:36
  he
• 11:37
  was
• 11:37
  in
• 11:37
  the
• 11:37
  hospital
• 11:38
  for
• 11:38
  kid
• 11:38
  cancer
• 11:39
  and
• 11:39
  that
• 11:39
  he
• 11:40
  had
• 11:40
  to
• 11:40
  have
• 11:40
  an
• 11:40
  organ
• 11:40
  removed.
• 11:41
  And
• 11:42
  I
• 11:42
  literally
• 11:42
  was
• 11:42
  like,
• 11:43
  The
• 11:44
  withdrawal
• 11:44
  will
• 11:44
  kill
• 11:45
  him
• 11:45
  like
• 11:46
  you
• 11:46
  don't
• 11:46
  understand
• 11:47
  and
• 11:48
  then
• 11:48
  they
• 11:48
  were
• 11:48
  like,
• 11:48
  oh,
• 11:49
  okay
• 11:49
  We
• 11:50
  have
• 11:50
  to
• 11:50
  you
• 11:50
  know
• 11:50
  We
• 11:50
  have
• 11:51
  to
• 11:51
  factor
• 11:51
  that
• 11:51
  in
• 11:51
  now
• 11:52
  to
• 11:52
  like
• 11:52
  we
• 11:52
  can't
• 11:53
  just
• 11:53
  cut
• 11:54
  him
• 11:54
  off
• 11:54
  cold
• 11:54
  turkey
• 11:54
  because
• 11:55
  it
• 11:55
  will
• 11:55
  kill
• 11:55
  him
• 11:56
  and
• 11:56
  so
• 11:56
  that's
• 11:57
  right
• 11:57
  there
• 11:57
  no
• 11:57
  statistic
• 11:58
  right
• 11:58
  here
• 11:59
  And
• 11:59
  that's
• 11:59
  three
• 12:00
  three
• 12:00
  kids
• 12:00
  out
• 12:01
  there
• 12:01
  with
• 12:01
  two
• 12:01
  alcoholic
• 12:02
  parents
• 12:02
  and
• 12:02
  no,
• 12:02
  not
• 12:03
  in
• 12:03
  the
• 12:03
  numbers
• 12:03
  So
• 12:04
  I
• 12:04
  agree
• 12:04
  the
• 12:04
  numbers
• 12:05
  are
• 12:06
  way
• 12:06
  more
• 12:06
  staggering.
• 12:08
  I
• 12:08
  just
• 12:09
  wonder,
• 12:10
  what
• 12:10
  is
• 12:10
  it
• 12:10
  going
• 12:10
  to
• 12:10
  take
• 12:11
  for
• 12:11
  us
• 12:12
  to
• 12:14
  really
• 12:15
  have
• 12:15
  a
• 12:15
  better
• 12:16
  understanding
• 12:17
  of
• 12:17
  what's
• 12:18
  happening
• 12:19
  with
• 12:21
  just
• 12:21
  being
• 12:22
  more
• 12:22
  interested
• 12:22
  in
• 12:23
  the
• 12:23
  education.
• 12:25
  It
• 12:25
  just
• 12:25
  doesn't
• 12:26
  seem
• 12:26
  like
• 12:26
  there's
• 12:28
  Like
• 12:28
  I
• 12:28
  didn't
• 12:28
  learn
• 12:29
  about
• 12:29
  any
• 12:29
  of
• 12:29
  that
• 12:29
  in
• 12:29
  school.
• 12:31
  It
• 12:31
  was
• 12:32
  all
• 12:32
  in
• 12:32
  hushed
• 12:32
  tones.
• 12:33
  Oh,
• 12:33
  she's
• 12:34
  like
• 12:34
  that,
• 12:34
  or
• 12:35
  so
• 12:35
  and
• 12:35
  so
• 12:36
  had
• 12:36
  this
• 12:36
  thing.
• 12:36
  And
• 12:37
  like
• 12:37
  in
• 12:38
  my
• 12:38
  time
• 12:38
  in
• 12:39
  high
• 12:39
  school,
• 12:39
  like
• 12:39
  I
• 12:40
  can
• 12:40
  remember
• 12:41
  one
• 12:41
  of
• 12:42
  my,
• 12:42
  there
• 12:42
  was
• 12:43
  like
• 12:43
  acid
• 12:43
  and
• 12:44
  LSD
• 12:45
  and
• 12:45
  all
• 12:46
  that
• 12:46
  kind
• 12:46
  of
• 12:46
  stuff
• 12:46
  was
• 12:47
  around
• 12:47
  at
• 12:47
  that
• 12:48
  time.
• 12:48
  And
• 12:49
  and
• 12:49
  I
• 12:49
  can
• 12:50
  remember
• 12:50
  coming
• 12:50
  to
• 12:50
  school
• 12:51
  one
• 12:51
  day
• 12:51
  and
• 12:52
  one
• 12:52
  of
• 12:52
  our
• 12:53
  students
• 12:53
  wasn't
• 12:53
  there
• 12:54
  and
• 12:54
  there
• 12:54
  was
• 12:54
  this.
• 12:55
  And
• 12:55
  the
• 12:55
  teachers
• 12:55
  didn't
• 12:55
  say,
• 12:56
  this
• 12:56
  is
• 12:56
  how
• 12:56
  much
• 12:57
  in
• 12:57
  the
• 12:57
  shadows
• 12:58
  they
• 12:58
  put
• 12:58
  it.
• 12:59
  The
• 12:59
  teachers
• 12:59
  didn't
• 12:59
  say
• 13:00
  anything.
• 13:01
  It
• 13:01
  was
• 13:01
  this
• 13:01
  rumor
• 13:02
  with
• 13:02
  the
• 13:02
  kids.
• 13:03
  Oh,
• 13:03
  she
• 13:03
  didn't
• 13:04
  come
• 13:04
  to
• 13:04
  school
• 13:04
  because
• 13:04
  she
• 13:05
  had
• 13:05
  a
• 13:05
  bad
• 13:05
  trip.
• 13:05
  And
• 13:06
  now
• 13:06
  she's
• 13:07
  in
• 13:07
  a,
• 13:07
  she's
• 13:07
  in
• 13:07
  a
• 13:07
  mental
• 13:07
  facility
• 13:09
  and
• 13:09
  that
• 13:10
  was
• 13:10
  it.
• 13:10
  And
• 13:11
  there's
• 13:11
  fear
• 13:12
  and
• 13:12
  there's
• 13:13
  not
• 13:13
  owning.
• 13:14
  Not
• 13:15
  educating,
• 13:16
  like
• 13:17
  the
• 13:17
  teachers,
• 13:18
  for
• 13:18
  instance,
• 13:19
  just
• 13:19
  as
• 13:19
  an
• 13:19
  example
• 13:20
  of
• 13:20
  how
• 13:20
  different
• 13:21
  it
• 13:21
  can
• 13:22
  be.
• 13:23
  We
• 13:23
  had
• 13:24
  a
• 13:24
  situation
• 13:25
  here
• 13:25
  in
• 13:26
  Lawrence
• 13:26
  maybe
• 13:27
  a
• 13:27
  year
• 13:28
  ago,
• 13:28
  year
• 13:28
  and
• 13:28
  a
• 13:28
  half,
• 13:29
  two
• 13:29
  years,
• 13:30
  a
• 13:30
  little
• 13:30
  while
• 13:30
  back.
• 13:32
  Where
• 13:33
  a
• 13:33
  a
• 13:34
  student
• 13:35
  was
• 13:35
  shot
• 13:36
  by
• 13:36
  her
• 13:36
  father
• 13:37
  and
• 13:37
  then
• 13:37
  father
• 13:38
  committed
• 13:38
  suicide.
• 13:38
  So
• 13:39
  it
• 13:39
  was
• 13:39
  this
• 13:39
  double
• 13:40
  murder,
• 13:40
  suicide.
• 13:41
  It
• 13:41
  was,
• 13:42
  yeah.
• 13:42
  And
• 13:42
  nobody
• 13:43
  was
• 13:43
  there
• 13:43
  to
• 13:43
  witness
• 13:43
  this.
• 13:44
  So
• 13:44
  that
• 13:44
  was
• 13:44
  an
• 13:45
  assumption,
• 13:45
  by
• 13:45
  the
• 13:45
  way.
• 13:45
  All
• 13:46
  of
• 13:46
  that
• 13:46
  was
• 13:46
  an
• 13:46
  assumption.
• 13:46
  Who
• 13:47
  knows
• 13:47
  what
• 13:47
  happened?
• 13:47
  I
• 13:47
  don't
• 13:48
  know.
• 13:48
  I
• 13:48
  wasn't
• 13:48
  there,
• 13:49
  but
• 13:49
  that's
• 13:49
  the
• 13:49
  story.
• 13:50
  But
• 13:50
  what
• 13:50
  happened
• 13:50
  was,
• 13:50
  this
• 13:50
  was
• 13:51
  a
• 13:51
  13
• 13:53
  year
• 13:53
  old
• 13:53
  girl.
• 13:54
  What
• 13:54
  happened
• 13:55
  was
• 13:56
  the
• 13:56
  teachers.
• 13:57
  gathered
• 13:58
  around
• 13:58
  the
• 13:58
  students
• 13:59
  and
• 14:00
  supported
• 14:00
  them.
• 14:01
  There
• 14:01
  wasn't
• 14:02
  any,
• 14:02
  we're
• 14:02
  not
• 14:02
  going
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  talk
• 14:03
  about
• 14:03
  that.
• 14:03
  There
• 14:03
  wasn't
• 14:03
  any
• 14:04
  of
• 14:04
  that.
• 14:04
  And
• 14:04
  then
• 14:05
  they
• 14:05
  took,
• 14:05
  they
• 14:05
  let
• 14:06
  the
• 14:06
  kids
• 14:06
  take
• 14:06
  off
• 14:07
  classes
• 14:08
  for,
• 14:09
  I
• 14:09
  don't
• 14:09
  know,
• 14:09
  the
• 14:09
  rest
• 14:09
  of
• 14:09
  the
• 14:09
  week,
• 14:10
  whatever
• 14:10
  it
• 14:10
  was,
• 14:11
  so
• 14:11
  that
• 14:11
  they
• 14:11
  could
• 14:11
  actually
• 14:12
  process
• 14:13
  what
• 14:13
  had
• 14:13
  happened.
• 14:14
  The
• 14:14
  whole
• 14:14
  community
• 14:15
  was
• 14:15
  just
• 14:16
  I'm
• 14:16
  still
• 14:16
  like
• 14:17
  I'm
• 14:17
  still
• 14:18
  got
• 14:18
  echoes
• 14:19
  of
• 14:19
  the
• 14:20
  fallout
• 14:20
  from
• 14:20
  that
• 14:21
  because
• 14:21
  it
• 14:21
  was
• 14:22
  so
• 14:22
  shocking
• 14:22
  and
• 14:23
  I'm,
• 14:23
  and
• 14:23
  I
• 14:23
  knew
• 14:23
  them.
• 14:24
  So
• 14:24
  it's
• 14:24
  just,
• 14:25
  yeah
• 14:25
  so
• 14:26
  that's
• 14:26
  the
• 14:26
  difference.
• 14:27
  Oh,
• 14:27
  we're
• 14:27
  not
• 14:28
  going
• 14:28
  to
• 14:28
  talk
• 14:28
  about
• 14:28
  that.
• 14:29
  And
• 14:29
  we're
• 14:29
  going
• 14:29
  to
• 14:29
  let
• 14:30
  the
• 14:30
  rumors
• 14:30
  fly,
• 14:31
  or
• 14:32
  we're
• 14:32
  going
• 14:32
  to
• 14:32
  embrace
• 14:33
  these
• 14:33
  children
• 14:34
  and
• 14:34
  we're
• 14:34
  going
• 14:35
  to
• 14:35
  help
• 14:35
  them
• 14:35
  process
• 14:36
  this
• 14:36
  and
• 14:36
  we're
• 14:36
  going
• 14:36
  to
• 14:36
  process
• 14:37
  it
• 14:37
  with
• 14:37
  them.
• 14:38
  And
• 14:38
  also
• 14:39
  we're
• 14:39
  going
• 14:39
  to
• 14:39
  understand
• 14:40
  that.
• 14:40
  All
• 14:41
  children,
• 14:41
  especially
• 14:42
  based
• 14:42
  on
• 14:42
  what
• 14:42
  they're
• 14:43
  hearing
• 14:43
  at
• 14:43
  home,
• 14:44
  are
• 14:44
  not
• 14:44
  going
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  process
• 14:45
  it
• 14:45
  the
• 14:45
  same,
• 14:46
  and
• 14:46
  that's
• 14:46
  a
• 14:46
  big
• 14:47
  key
• 14:47
  too,
• 14:47
  because
• 14:48
  some
• 14:49
  of
• 14:49
  these,
• 14:49
  we
• 14:49
  had,
• 14:49
  I
• 14:50
  had
• 14:50
  a,
• 14:50
  I
• 14:50
  knew
• 14:51
  someone
• 14:51
  very
• 14:51
  close
• 14:52
  to
• 14:52
  me
• 14:52
  that
• 14:52
  committed
• 14:52
  suicide
• 14:53
  when
• 14:53
  I
• 14:53
  was
• 14:53
  in
• 14:53
  school,
• 14:55
  and
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  went
• 14:55
  home,
• 14:56
  and
• 14:56
  there
• 14:56
  was
• 14:57
  no,
• 14:59
  oh
• 14:59
  my
• 14:59
  gosh,
• 14:59
  do
• 15:00
  you
• 15:00
  need
• 15:00
  to
• 15:00
  talk
• 15:00
  about
• 15:01
  it?
• 15:02
  It
• 15:02
  was
• 15:02
  like,
• 15:02
  just
• 15:03
  be
• 15:03
  glad
• 15:03
  it
• 15:03
  wasn't
• 15:03
  you.
• 15:04
  Like
• 15:05
  you
• 15:05
  see
• 15:05
  how
• 15:05
  much
• 15:06
  you
• 15:06
  can
• 15:06
  you
• 15:06
  complain
• 15:07
  so
• 15:07
  much
• 15:07
  about
• 15:08
  your
• 15:08
  life
• 15:08
  could
• 15:09
  be
• 15:09
  worse
• 15:09
  right
• 15:09
  buttercup
• 15:10
  like
• 15:11
  that
• 15:11
  was
• 15:12
  Yeah,
• 15:13
  so
• 15:13
  it
• 15:13
  wasn't
• 15:14
  so
• 15:14
  that
• 15:14
  you
• 15:15
  know
• 15:15
  It
• 15:15
  takes
• 15:16
  everybody
• 15:16
  and
• 15:16
  I
• 15:17
  I
• 15:17
  look
• 15:17
  at
• 15:17
  it
• 15:17
  this
• 15:18
  big
• 15:18
  picture
• 15:19
  even
• 15:19
  if
• 15:19
  we
• 15:19
  don't
• 15:20
  Understand
• 15:21
  it
• 15:22
  or
• 15:22
  even
• 15:22
  if
• 15:23
  we
• 15:23
  don't
• 15:24
  Like
• 15:24
  we're
• 15:24
  afraid
• 15:25
  to
• 15:25
  tackle
• 15:25
  it
• 15:25
  because
• 15:25
  there
• 15:25
  is
• 15:26
  fear
• 15:26
  You
• 15:26
  don't
• 15:26
  know
• 15:26
  how
• 15:27
  to
• 15:27
  deal
• 15:27
  with
• 15:27
  some
• 15:27
  things
• 15:28
  and
• 15:28
  it's
• 15:28
  ignorance
• 15:29
  and
• 15:29
  not
• 15:29
  an
• 15:29
  ignorant
• 15:30
  being
• 15:30
  in
• 15:30
  a
• 15:30
  bad
• 15:30
  way
• 15:30
  But
• 15:31
  just
• 15:31
  ignorance
• 15:31
  meaning
• 15:32
  lack
• 15:32
  of
• 15:32
  knowledge
• 15:33
  Yeah,
• 15:35
  it's
• 15:35
  understanding
• 15:36
  but
• 15:37
  if
• 15:37
  we
• 15:37
  could
• 15:37
  just
• 15:37
  get
• 15:38
  people
• 15:38
  to
• 15:38
  be
• 15:39
  more
• 15:40
  Compassionate
• 15:41
  like
• 15:41
  overall
• 15:42
  and
• 15:42
  just
• 15:43
  go
• 15:43
  okay,
• 15:43
  you
• 15:44
  know
• 15:44
  It's
• 15:44
  like
• 15:44
  I
• 15:44
  tell
• 15:44
  people
• 15:45
  stop
• 15:45
  saying
• 15:46
  what's
• 15:46
  wrong
• 15:46
  with
• 15:47
  you
• 15:47
  and
• 15:47
  ask
• 15:48
  people
• 15:48
  what's
• 15:48
  going
• 15:49
  on
• 15:49
  with
• 15:49
  you
• 15:49
  that
• 15:50
  one
• 15:50
  turn
• 15:51
  You
• 15:51
  Whether
• 15:51
  it's
• 15:52
  a
• 15:52
  friend,
• 15:52
  a
• 15:52
  family,
• 15:53
  that
• 15:53
  one
• 15:53
  turn,
• 15:54
  if
• 15:54
  everybody
• 15:55
  just
• 15:55
  thought
• 15:55
  okay,
• 15:56
  they're
• 15:56
  not
• 15:57
  in
• 15:57
  a
• 15:57
  bad
• 15:57
  mood
• 15:58
  because
• 15:58
  they're
• 15:58
  bad
• 15:59
  people,
• 15:59
  but
• 16:00
  they're
• 16:00
  in
• 16:00
  a
• 16:00
  bad
• 16:00
  mood
• 16:00
  because
• 16:01
  something's
• 16:01
  happening
• 16:02
  to
• 16:02
  them,
• 16:02
  that
• 16:03
  one
• 16:03
  turn
• 16:03
  could
• 16:03
  shift
• 16:04
  everything,
• 16:04
  but
• 16:05
  you
• 16:05
  need
• 16:05
  enough
• 16:05
  people
• 16:06
  yelling
• 16:06
  it
• 16:06
  too.
• 16:07
  You
• 16:08
  need
• 16:08
  enough
• 16:08
  people
• 16:08
  in
• 16:08
  the
• 16:08
  corporations
• 16:09
  teaching
• 16:10
  compassionate
• 16:10
  leadership
• 16:11
  or
• 16:11
  trauma
• 16:12
  informed
• 16:12
  leadership.
• 16:13
  And
• 16:14
  stop,
• 16:14
  we're
• 16:15
  walking
• 16:15
  around
• 16:15
  like
• 16:16
  everybody
• 16:16
  is
• 16:17
  starting
• 16:17
  to
• 16:17
  walk
• 16:17
  on
• 16:17
  eggshells,
• 16:18
  not
• 16:18
  just
• 16:19
  the
• 16:19
  people
• 16:19
  that
• 16:20
  are
• 16:20
  being
• 16:20
  harmed.
• 16:22
  Exactly.
• 16:23
  Yeah,
• 16:23
  I
• 16:23
  work
• 16:24
  as
• 16:24
  a
• 16:24
  betrayal
• 16:25
  recovery
• 16:25
  coach
• 16:25
  on
• 16:26
  Dr.
• 16:26
  Debbie
• 16:27
  Silver's
• 16:27
  platform,
• 16:28
  the
• 16:28
  PBT
• 16:29
  Institute,
• 16:29
  which
• 16:29
  is
• 16:30
  all
• 16:30
  dedicated
• 16:30
  to
• 16:31
  helping
• 16:32
  people
• 16:32
  recover
• 16:33
  from
• 16:33
  betrayal
• 16:34
  experience.
• 16:35
  She's
• 16:35
  done
• 16:35
  a
• 16:35
  PhD
• 16:36
  on
• 16:36
  it.
• 16:36
  There's
• 16:37
  a
• 16:37
  whole
• 16:37
  process
• 16:38
  that
• 16:38
  she
• 16:38
  uses.
• 16:39
  It's
• 16:39
  a,
• 16:39
  it's
• 16:40
  very
• 16:40
  interesting,
• 16:40
  very
• 16:41
  powerful,
• 16:42
  but
• 16:42
  what's
• 16:42
  interesting
• 16:42
  is
• 16:43
  We
• 16:44
  take
• 16:44
  our
• 16:44
  stuff
• 16:44
  into
• 16:45
  the
• 16:45
  workplace.
• 16:47
  And
• 16:48
  we
• 16:48
  pick
• 16:48
  up
• 16:48
  stuff
• 16:49
  on
• 16:49
  the
• 16:49
  workplace
• 16:49
  and
• 16:49
  we
• 16:50
  take
• 16:50
  it
• 16:50
  home.
• 16:52
  So
• 16:52
  it's
• 16:52
  working
• 16:52
  both
• 16:52
  ways.
• 16:53
  And
• 16:53
  one
• 16:53
  of
• 16:54
  the
• 16:54
  things
• 16:54
  that
• 16:54
  she's
• 16:54
  been,
• 16:55
  working
• 16:56
  on
• 16:56
  for
• 16:56
  a
• 16:56
  couple
• 16:57
  years
• 16:57
  is
• 16:57
  bringing
• 16:58
  in
• 16:59
  her
• 16:59
  work
• 17:00
  on
• 17:00
  Betrayal
• 17:01
  into
• 17:01
  corporate
• 17:02
  as
• 17:03
  a
• 17:03
  platform.
• 17:04
  as
• 17:04
  a
• 17:04
  piece
• 17:05
  of
• 17:05
  their
• 17:05
  mental
• 17:06
  illness
• 17:07
  or
• 17:07
  mental,
• 17:08
  whatever
• 17:08
  you
• 17:08
  want
• 17:08
  to
• 17:08
  call
• 17:09
  it,
• 17:09
  mental
• 17:09
  wellness
• 17:10
  is
• 17:10
  what
• 17:10
  I
• 17:10
  would
• 17:10
  call
• 17:11
  it.
• 17:11
  Mental
• 17:12
  wellness
• 17:12
  programming.
• 17:13
  But
• 17:14
  you
• 17:14
  know
• 17:14
  what?
• 17:14
  That's
• 17:15
  sitting
• 17:15
  right
• 17:16
  at
• 17:16
  the
• 17:16
  edge
• 17:16
  of
• 17:16
  the
• 17:16
  paradigm.
• 17:19
  There
• 17:19
  are
• 17:19
  not
• 17:19
  many
• 17:19
  corporations
• 17:20
  that
• 17:20
  are,
• 17:21
  jumping
• 17:21
  on
• 17:21
  that
• 17:21
  bandwagon,
• 17:22
  so
• 17:22
  Elizabeth,
• 17:23
  what
• 17:23
  do
• 17:23
  you
• 17:23
  think
• 17:24
  it's
• 17:24
  going
• 17:24
  to
• 17:24
  take
• 17:24
  for
• 17:25
  us
• 17:25
  to
• 17:25
  get
• 17:25
  the
• 17:25
  focus
• 17:26
  on
• 17:27
  back
• 17:27
  on
• 17:28
  erasing
• 17:28
  the
• 17:28
  stigma?
• 17:30
  I
• 17:30
  was,
• 17:31
  I'm
• 17:31
  thinking
• 17:32
  that
• 17:34
  because.
• 17:35
  mental
• 17:37
  illness.
• 17:37
  Look
• 17:38
  at
• 17:39
  Gabor's
• 17:39
  work
• 17:40
  on
• 17:41
  the
• 17:41
  myth
• 17:41
  of
• 17:41
  normal.
• 17:41
  That's
• 17:42
  got
• 17:42
  all
• 17:42
  the
• 17:42
  stats
• 17:43
  and
• 17:43
  studies
• 17:43
  in
• 17:43
  it.
• 17:44
  It's
• 17:45
  affecting
• 17:45
  the
• 17:45
  bottom
• 17:45
  line.
• 17:47
  So
• 17:47
  I
• 17:47
  get
• 17:48
  really
• 17:48
  nuts
• 17:48
  and
• 17:48
  boltsy
• 17:49
  here
• 17:50
  instead
• 17:50
  of
• 17:50
  focusing
• 17:51
  on
• 17:51
  compassion,
• 17:51
  I
• 17:51
  focus
• 17:52
  on
• 17:52
  the
• 17:52
  bottom
• 17:52
  line
• 17:53
  and
• 17:53
  look
• 17:53
  at
• 17:53
  how
• 17:54
  it's
• 17:55
  changing
• 17:55
  the
• 17:56
  productivity
• 17:56
  in
• 17:57
  the
• 17:57
  workplace.
• 17:59
  And
• 17:59
  so
• 18:00
  now
• 18:00
  we're
• 18:01
  like,
• 18:01
  oh,
• 18:02
  okay
• 18:02
  If
• 18:02
  that's,
• 18:03
  if
• 18:03
  people's
• 18:03
  behaviors
• 18:04
  are
• 18:04
  affecting
• 18:05
  the
• 18:05
  bottom
• 18:05
  line,
• 18:06
  maybe
• 18:06
  we
• 18:07
  better
• 18:07
  do
• 18:07
  something
• 18:08
  to
• 18:08
  to
• 18:08
  look
• 18:08
  at
• 18:08
  that.
• 18:09
  So
• 18:09
  mental
• 18:09
  wellness
• 18:10
  in
• 18:10
  corporate
• 18:11
  would
• 18:11
  be,
• 18:13
  like
• 18:13
  a
• 18:13
  no
• 18:13
  brainer
• 18:14
  to
• 18:14
  me
• 18:15
  for
• 18:15
  my
• 18:15
  end.
• 18:15
  It
• 18:16
  just
• 18:16
  of
• 18:16
  course
• 18:16
  that
• 18:17
  we
• 18:17
  would,
• 18:17
  we
• 18:18
  need
• 18:18
  to
• 18:18
  do
• 18:18
  that,
• 18:19
  but
• 18:19
  that
• 18:19
  would
• 18:20
  also
• 18:20
  be
• 18:21
  by
• 18:21
  the
• 18:22
  way,
• 18:22
  a,
• 18:23
  that
• 18:23
  would
• 18:24
  add
• 18:25
  an
• 18:25
  element
• 18:26
  of
• 18:28
  compassion
• 18:28
  into
• 18:29
  the
• 18:29
  workplace.
• 18:30
  Yeah,
• 18:30
  which
• 18:30
  ultimately
• 18:32
  just
• 18:32
  from
• 18:32
  an
• 18:32
  economic
• 18:33
  point
• 18:33
  of
• 18:33
  view,
• 18:34
  I'm
• 18:34
  just
• 18:34
  looking
• 18:34
  at
• 18:34
  that
• 18:35
  would
• 18:36
  also
• 18:37
  positively
• 18:37
  affect
• 18:38
  the
• 18:38
  bottom
• 18:38
  line.
• 18:39
  I'm
• 18:39
  just,
• 18:39
  and
• 18:40
  not
• 18:40
  to
• 18:40
  say
• 18:40
  that
• 18:40
  it
• 18:41
  makes
• 18:41
  everybody
• 18:41
  else
• 18:42
  feel
• 18:42
  better
• 18:42
  and
• 18:43
  function
• 18:43
  better
• 18:44
  and
• 18:44
  all
• 18:44
  that
• 18:44
  kind
• 18:44
  of
• 18:44
  stuff,
• 18:45
  but
• 18:45
  you
• 18:45
  would
• 18:45
  think
• 18:46
  I
• 18:46
  would
• 18:46
  think.
• 18:47
  That,
• 18:47
  that
• 18:48
  that
• 18:48
  corporate
• 18:49
  will
• 18:49
  be
• 18:49
  jumping
• 18:49
  right
• 18:50
  on
• 18:50
  this.
• 18:50
  Now,
• 18:50
  you
• 18:51
  do
• 18:51
  see
• 18:51
  places
• 18:52
  like
• 18:52
  meditation
• 18:53
  rooms
• 18:53
  and
• 18:53
  ho
• 18:54
  and
• 18:54
  airports,
• 18:55
  which
• 18:55
  blew
• 18:55
  me
• 18:55
  away
• 18:56
  the
• 18:56
  first
• 18:56
  one
• 18:56
  I
• 18:56
  saw.
• 18:57
  It's
• 18:57
  wow,
• 18:57
  this
• 18:57
  is
• 18:58
  great,
• 18:58
  what's
• 18:59
  happening
• 18:59
  here,
• 19:00
  right?
• 19:01
  But
• 19:01
  I
• 19:01
  think
• 19:02
  we
• 19:02
  can
• 19:02
  do
• 19:02
  more.
• 19:03
  Or
• 19:03
  like
• 19:04
  Lockheed
• 19:04
  Martin
• 19:05
  has,
• 19:06
  they
• 19:06
  come
• 19:06
  in
• 19:06
  every
• 19:06
  once
• 19:06
  in
• 19:07
  a
• 19:07
  while
• 19:07
  and
• 19:07
  they
• 19:07
  do
• 19:07
  chair
• 19:08
  massages
• 19:09
  for
• 19:09
  their
• 19:09
  employees.
• 19:11
  And
• 19:11
  it's
• 19:11
  okay,
• 19:11
  that's
• 19:12
  a
• 19:12
  good
• 19:12
  start,
• 19:13
  but
• 19:14
  definitely,
• 19:15
  but
• 19:15
  it's
• 19:15
  just,
• 19:16
  but
• 19:16
  again,
• 19:16
  it's
• 19:17
  just,
• 19:17
  we,
• 19:17
  I
• 19:18
  just
• 19:18
  did
• 19:18
  a
• 19:18
  talk
• 19:19
  and
• 19:19
  I
• 19:19
  don't
• 19:19
  remember
• 19:19
  who
• 19:19
  I
• 19:20
  even
• 19:20
  did
• 19:20
  it
• 19:20
  for,
• 19:20
  but
• 19:20
  it
• 19:20
  was
• 19:21
  called
• 19:21
  trauma
• 19:21
  informed
• 19:22
  leadership
• 19:22
  in
• 19:23
  a
• 19:23
  trauma
• 19:23
  reactive
• 19:24
  world.
• 19:24
  And
• 19:25
  that's
• 19:25
  literally,
• 19:25
  like
• 19:26
  you
• 19:26
  said,
• 19:26
  dysfunction
• 19:27
  is
• 19:27
  the
• 19:27
  norm.
• 19:27
  We've
• 19:27
  got
• 19:28
  all
• 19:28
  of
• 19:28
  this
• 19:29
  subconscious
• 19:29
  programming
• 19:31
  and
• 19:31
  we're
• 19:31
  a
• 19:31
  reactive
• 19:32
  society
• 19:33
  right
• 19:33
  now.
• 19:34
  So
• 19:34
  if
• 19:34
  people
• 19:34
  understood
• 19:35
  that.
• 19:36
  And
• 19:37
  like
• 19:38
  I
• 19:38
  said,
• 19:38
  that
• 19:38
  one
• 19:38
  question,
• 19:39
  not
• 19:39
  what's
• 19:39
  wrong
• 19:40
  with
• 19:40
  you,
• 19:40
  because
• 19:41
  that
• 19:41
  immediately
• 19:41
  puts
• 19:42
  people
• 19:42
  on
• 19:42
  the
• 19:42
  defensive.
• 19:43
  Yeah,
• 19:44
  immediately.
• 19:45
  What's
• 19:45
  wrong
• 19:45
  with
• 19:45
  you,
• 19:46
  dude?
• 19:46
  I
• 19:46
  wouldn't
• 19:46
  want
• 19:47
  to
• 19:47
  walk
• 19:47
  in
• 19:47
  somewhere.
• 19:48
  And
• 19:48
  if
• 19:48
  I
• 19:48
  happen,
• 19:48
  what
• 19:48
  if
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  had
• 19:49
  a
• 19:49
  toothache
• 19:50
  and
• 19:50
  I
• 19:50
  looked
• 19:50
  a
• 19:50
  little
• 19:51
  sad
• 19:51
  and
• 19:51
  someone's
• 19:52
  what's
• 19:52
  wrong
• 19:52
  with
• 19:52
  you?
• 19:53
  Like
• 19:53
  immediately
• 19:53
  your
• 19:54
  head
• 19:54
  starts
• 19:55
  making
• 19:55
  up
• 19:55
  these
• 19:55
  stories.
• 19:57
  Yeah.
• 19:57
  It's
• 19:59
  your
• 19:59
  thoughts
• 19:59
  come
• 20:00
  before
• 20:00
  your
• 20:00
  emotions.
• 20:01
  So
• 20:01
  it's
• 20:02
  We
• 20:02
  need
• 20:02
  to
• 20:02
  learn
• 20:02
  to
• 20:03
  stop
• 20:03
  it
• 20:03
  at
• 20:03
  the
• 20:04
  thought
• 20:04
  and
• 20:04
  rethink
• 20:05
  and
• 20:06
  it's
• 20:07
  also,
• 20:08
  I
• 20:08
  would
• 20:08
  push
• 20:08
  back
• 20:09
  on
• 20:09
  that
• 20:09
  a
• 20:09
  little
• 20:09
  bit.
• 20:10
  I
• 20:10
  would
• 20:10
  say,
• 20:13
  just
• 20:13
  in
• 20:13
  terms
• 20:13
  of
• 20:13
  nervous
• 20:14
  system,
• 20:17
  that
• 20:18
  when
• 20:19
  when
• 20:19
  someone
• 20:20
  says
• 20:21
  what's
• 20:21
  wrong
• 20:21
  with
• 20:22
  you,
• 20:23
  the
• 20:23
  nervous
• 20:23
  system
• 20:24
  immediately
• 20:24
  disconnects.
• 20:26
  Why?
• 20:26
  Because
• 20:27
  it
• 20:27
  feels
• 20:27
  threatened.
• 20:28
  It's
• 20:28
  not
• 20:28
  safe.
• 20:30
  And
• 20:30
  so
• 20:30
  now
• 20:30
  we're
• 20:31
  back
• 20:31
  to
• 20:31
  fear.
• 20:33
  What
• 20:34
  do
• 20:34
  we
• 20:34
  have
• 20:34
  to
• 20:34
  do
• 20:35
  in
• 20:36
  our
• 20:36
  communication
• 20:37
  with
• 20:37
  one
• 20:37
  another
• 20:38
  to
• 20:38
  co
• 20:39
  regulate
• 20:40
  and
• 20:40
  keep
• 20:40
  that
• 20:40
  connection
• 20:41
  because
• 20:41
  as
• 20:42
  soon
• 20:42
  as
• 20:42
  we
• 20:42
  are
• 20:42
  in
• 20:43
  defense,
• 20:43
  we
• 20:44
  can't,
• 20:44
  the
• 20:44
  nervous
• 20:45
  system
• 20:45
  really
• 20:45
  can't
• 20:46
  connect
• 20:46
  and
• 20:46
  defend
• 20:47
  at
• 20:47
  the
• 20:47
  same
• 20:47
  time,
• 20:48
  it's
• 20:48
  not
• 20:48
  really
• 20:48
  made
• 20:49
  for
• 20:49
  that.
• 20:49
  It's
• 20:49
  it
• 20:50
  does
• 20:50
  rest
• 20:50
  and
• 20:50
  digest
• 20:51
  or
• 20:51
  it
• 20:51
  does
• 20:51
  activity.
• 20:53
  But
• 20:53
  we
• 20:53
  can't
• 20:53
  sleep
• 20:54
  and
• 20:54
  run
• 20:54
  at
• 20:55
  the
• 20:55
  same,
• 20:55
  it
• 20:55
  doesn't
• 20:55
  work
• 20:55
  like
• 20:56
  that.
• 20:56
  So
• 20:56
  it's
• 20:56
  like
• 20:57
  the
• 20:57
  same
• 20:57
  thing
• 20:57
  with
• 20:58
  this
• 20:58
  we're
• 20:59
  defended
• 20:59
  and
• 21:00
  we're
• 21:00
  not
• 21:00
  connected,
• 21:01
  or
• 21:01
  we
• 21:02
  can
• 21:02
  connect
• 21:02
  or
• 21:02
  we
• 21:02
  can
• 21:03
  defend.
• 21:03
  We
• 21:03
  can't
• 21:03
  do
• 21:03
  both.
• 21:04
  So
• 21:04
  what
• 21:05
  is
• 21:05
  it
• 21:05
  going
• 21:05
  to
• 21:05
  take
• 21:06
  for
• 21:06
  us
• 21:06
  to
• 21:09
  learn
• 21:10
  better
• 21:10
  communication
• 21:11
  skills
• 21:12
  so
• 21:12
  that
• 21:12
  we're
• 21:13
  not
• 21:13
  having
• 21:14
  this
• 21:14
  attack
• 21:15
  thing
• 21:15
  happening?
• 21:16
  And
• 21:17
  it's
• 21:17
  happening
• 21:17
  at
• 21:18
  a
• 21:18
  very.
• 21:19
  Fundamental
• 21:19
  level
• 21:19
  where
• 21:20
  we're
• 21:20
  not
• 21:20
  stimulating
• 21:21
  people's
• 21:21
  fear
• 21:22
  centers
• 21:22
  all
• 21:22
  the
• 21:22
  time,
• 21:23
  which
• 21:23
  is,
• 21:24
  the
• 21:24
  corporate
• 21:25
  environment
• 21:25
  is
• 21:25
  pretty
• 21:26
  much
• 21:26
  fear
• 21:26
  based.
• 21:26
  So
• 21:27
  I'm
• 21:27
  just
• 21:27
  saying,
• 21:28
  if
• 21:28
  we
• 21:29
  wanted
• 21:29
  to
• 21:29
  try
• 21:29
  and
• 21:30
  I'd
• 21:30
  have
• 21:30
  to,
• 21:30
  obviously
• 21:31
  I'd
• 21:31
  have
• 21:31
  to
• 21:31
  come
• 21:31
  up
• 21:31
  with
• 21:31
  numbers
• 21:32
  and
• 21:32
  stuff,
• 21:32
  but
• 21:32
  if
• 21:33
  we
• 21:33
  wanted
• 21:33
  to
• 21:33
  try
• 21:34
  and
• 21:36
  convince
• 21:37
  corporate,
• 21:38
  which
• 21:39
  is
• 21:39
  looking
• 21:39
  at
• 21:39
  the
• 21:39
  bigger
• 21:40
  picture
• 21:41
  in
• 21:41
  terms
• 21:41
  of
• 21:42
  larger
• 21:42
  groups
• 21:43
  of
• 21:43
  people
• 21:44
  that
• 21:44
  it's
• 21:45
  in
• 21:45
  their
• 21:45
  best
• 21:45
  interest
• 21:46
  to,
• 21:46
  to
• 21:46
  bring
• 21:46
  in
• 21:47
  mental
• 21:47
  wellness.
• 21:48
  It's
• 21:49
  something
• 21:49
  that
• 21:49
  that
• 21:49
  they
• 21:50
  have
• 21:50
  to
• 21:50
  understand
• 21:52
  fundamentally
• 21:52
  that
• 21:53
  it
• 21:53
  actually
• 21:53
  is
• 21:54
  part
• 21:54
  of
• 21:54
  their
• 21:54
  bottom
• 21:54
  line.
• 21:55
  The
• 21:55
  wellness
• 21:55
  universe
• 21:56
  is
• 21:56
  another
• 21:56
  place
• 21:57
  where
• 21:57
  I'm
• 21:57
  a
• 21:57
  member,
• 21:58
  it's
• 21:58
  a
• 21:58
  place
• 21:58
  with
• 21:59
  a
• 21:59
  lot
• 21:59
  of
• 21:59
  wellness
• 22:00
  practitioners
• 22:01
  and
• 22:01
  they're
• 22:02
  also
• 22:02
  looking
• 22:02
  at
• 22:02
  a
• 22:02
  corporate
• 22:03
  program,
• 22:03
  corporate
• 22:04
  wellness.
• 22:05
  And
• 22:05
  I
• 22:05
  think
• 22:05
  it
• 22:05
  goes,
• 22:06
  and
• 22:06
  I
• 22:06
  think
• 22:06
  it's
• 22:07
  like
• 22:07
  a
• 22:07
  two
• 22:07
  fold
• 22:08
  thing
• 22:08
  because
• 22:08
  I
• 22:08
  deal
• 22:08
  with
• 22:08
  a
• 22:09
  lot
• 22:09
  of
• 22:09
  people
• 22:09
  that
• 22:09
  are
• 22:09
  working
• 22:10
  to
• 22:10
  get
• 22:10
  into
• 22:11
  the
• 22:11
  schools.
• 22:12
  And
• 22:12
  I
• 22:12
  think
• 22:12
  that's
• 22:13
  huge
• 22:13
  too
• 22:13
  because
• 22:14
  emotional
• 22:14
  intelligence
• 22:15
  and
• 22:15
  kids
• 22:16
  being
• 22:16
  able
• 22:16
  to
• 22:16
  express
• 22:17
  their
• 22:17
  own
• 22:17
  emotions
• 22:17
  and
• 22:17
  everything
• 22:18
  else
• 22:18
  it's
• 22:18
  give
• 22:19
  these
• 22:19
  kids
• 22:19
  a
• 22:19
  little
• 22:19
  bit
• 22:19
  of
• 22:20
  a
• 22:20
  jump
• 22:20
  start
• 22:20
  so
• 22:21
  that
• 22:21
  if
• 22:21
  they
• 22:21
  are
• 22:22
  the
• 22:22
  Three
• 22:23
  out
• 22:23
  of
• 22:23
  four
• 22:23
  now
• 22:24
  one
• 22:24
  out
• 22:24
  of
• 22:24
  whatever
• 22:25
  it
• 22:25
  is,
• 22:25
  whatever
• 22:25
  the
• 22:25
  statistics
• 22:26
  are
• 22:26
  They're
• 22:26
  obviously
• 22:27
  almost
• 22:27
  impossible
• 22:28
  to
• 22:28
  measure
• 22:28
  those
• 22:28
  statistics
• 22:29
  as
• 22:29
  far
• 22:29
  as
• 22:30
  who's
• 22:30
  growing
• 22:31
  up
• 22:32
  Not
• 22:33
  having
• 22:34
  their
• 22:34
  needs
• 22:34
  met.
• 22:35
  Let's
• 22:35
  just
• 22:35
  put
• 22:35
  it
• 22:35
  that
• 22:35
  way
• 22:36
  Those
• 22:36
  people,
• 22:37
  that's
• 22:37
  a
• 22:37
  huge
• 22:37
  number.
• 22:38
  So
• 22:38
  if
• 22:38
  you
• 22:38
  can,
• 22:39
  go
• 22:39
  into
• 22:39
  the
• 22:40
  schools
• 22:40
  and
• 22:40
  teach
• 22:41
  teachers
• 22:42
  or,
• 22:42
  and
• 22:43
  children
• 22:43
  alike,
• 22:44
  a
• 22:44
  little
• 22:45
  bit
• 22:45
  more
• 22:45
  of
• 22:45
  emotional
• 22:46
  intelligence
• 22:46
  and
• 22:47
  how,
• 22:47
  then,
• 22:48
  I
• 22:48
  think
• 22:48
  we
• 22:48
  started
• 22:48
  talking
• 22:49
  about
• 22:49
  that
• 22:49
  statistic.
• 22:50
  I
• 22:50
  don't
• 22:50
  know
• 22:50
  where
• 22:50
  I
• 22:51
  read
• 22:51
  it,
• 22:51
  but
• 22:51
  it
• 22:52
  literally
• 22:52
  said
• 22:52
  that
• 22:52
  one
• 22:53
  of
• 22:53
  the
• 22:53
  biggest
• 22:53
  surveys
• 22:54
  just
• 22:54
  done
• 22:54
  was
• 22:54
  25
• 22:55
  percent
• 22:55
  of
• 22:56
  children.
• 22:56
  This
• 22:56
  might
• 22:56
  be
• 22:57
  the
• 22:57
  same
• 22:57
  one
• 22:57
  that
• 22:57
  you
• 22:57
  heard
• 22:58
  ages
• 22:59
  13,
• 23:00
  like
• 23:00
  in
• 23:00
  the
• 23:00
  13
• 23:01
  year
• 23:01
  old
• 23:01
  range,
• 23:02
  25
• 23:02
  percent
• 23:03
  of
• 23:03
  them
• 23:03
  had
• 23:03
  already
• 23:04
  contemplated
• 23:04
  taking
• 23:05
  their
• 23:05
  own
• 23:05
  life.
• 23:05
  That
• 23:06
  is
• 23:07
  staggering.
• 23:07
  That
• 23:08
  is
• 23:08
  staggering.
• 23:09
  And
• 23:09
  again,
• 23:10
  you
• 23:10
  hear
• 23:10
  someone
• 23:11
  say
• 23:11
  that.
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  remember
• 23:11
  I
• 23:12
  said
• 23:12
  that
• 23:12
  to
• 23:12
  work
• 23:12
  at
• 23:13
  someone
• 23:13
  and
• 23:13
  I
• 23:13
  said,
• 23:13
  can
• 23:14
  you
• 23:14
  believe
• 23:14
  25%?
• 23:16
  And
• 23:17
  they
• 23:17
  literally
• 23:17
  were
• 23:17
  like,
• 23:19
  no,
• 23:20
  no
• 23:20
  compassion,
• 23:20
  no
• 23:21
  empathy,
• 23:21
  no
• 23:21
  that's
• 23:22
  ridiculous.
• 23:23
  I
• 23:23
  remember
• 23:23
  when
• 23:24
  I
• 23:24
  was
• 23:24
  13
• 23:25
  years
• 23:25
  old,
• 23:25
  in
• 23:26
  school,
• 23:26
  had
• 23:26
  I
• 23:26
  not
• 23:27
  had
• 23:27
  the
• 23:27
  life
• 23:27
  I
• 23:27
  had
• 23:27
  at
• 23:27
  home,
• 23:28
  but
• 23:28
  in
• 23:28
  school,
• 23:28
  the
• 23:29
  biggest
• 23:29
  thing
• 23:29
  was
• 23:29
  being
• 23:30
  afraid
• 23:30
  to
• 23:30
  walk
• 23:30
  past
• 23:31
  the
• 23:31
  smoking
• 23:31
  lounge.
• 23:32
  Like
• 23:33
  I
• 23:33
  was
• 23:33
  afraid
• 23:34
  of
• 23:34
  the
• 23:34
  people
• 23:34
  in
• 23:34
  leather.
• 23:35
  Again,
• 23:35
  stigma,
• 23:36
  but,
• 23:36
  but
• 23:36
  that
• 23:36
  was
• 23:37
  my
• 23:37
  only
• 23:37
  safe,
• 23:38
  unsafe
• 23:38
  place
• 23:39
  in
• 23:39
  school
• 23:39
  was
• 23:40
  being
• 23:40
  afraid
• 23:40
  to
• 23:41
  walk
• 23:41
  through
• 23:41
  that
• 23:41
  lounge,
• 23:42
  but
• 23:42
  now
• 23:43
  it's
• 23:43
  wow,
• 23:44
  13,
• 23:44
  25%
• 23:45
  of
• 23:45
  teenagers
• 23:46
  of
• 23:46
  that
• 23:46
  age.
• 23:47
  It's,
• 23:48
  yeah
• 23:48
  that's
• 23:48
  really
• 23:48
  pointing
• 23:49
  to.
• 23:51
  A
• 23:51
  real
• 23:51
  fundamental
• 23:53
  something's
• 23:53
  fundamentally
• 23:54
  wrong,
• 23:54
  which
• 23:55
  we
• 23:55
  know,
• 23:55
  but
• 23:55
  the
• 23:55
  question
• 23:56
  and
• 23:56
  the
• 23:57
  thing
• 23:57
  that
• 23:57
  we're
• 23:57
  addressing
• 23:58
  here
• 23:58
  and
• 23:58
  many
• 23:58
  platforms
• 23:59
  fortunately
• 24:00
  are
• 24:00
  trying
• 24:00
  to,
• 24:01
  is
• 24:02
  what
• 24:02
  do
• 24:02
  we
• 24:02
  do
• 24:03
  to
• 24:04
  move
• 24:05
  that
• 24:05
  needle?
• 24:06
  Yeah.
• 24:06
  What
• 24:07
  do
• 24:07
  we
• 24:07
  do
• 24:07
  to
• 24:07
  move
• 24:07
  that
• 24:07
  needle?
• 24:08
  And
• 24:08
  your
• 24:08
  piece
• 24:09
  about
• 24:09
  compassion,
• 24:10
  huge.
• 24:13
  And
• 24:13
  I'll
• 24:13
  go
• 24:13
  ahead.
• 24:14
  Yeah.
• 24:14
  I
• 24:14
  was
• 24:14
  just
• 24:15
  going
• 24:15
  to
• 24:15
  say
• 24:15
  the
• 24:15
  other
• 24:16
  piece
• 24:16
  of
• 24:16
  it
• 24:16
  is
• 24:17
  this
• 24:17
  thing
• 24:17
  around
• 24:18
  historical
• 24:18
  and
• 24:19
  collective
• 24:19
  trauma.
• 24:20
  It's
• 24:20
  just
• 24:21
  why
• 24:21
  I
• 24:21
  do
• 24:21
  that
• 24:22
  work
• 24:23
  because
• 24:23
  we
• 24:23
  know
• 24:24
  from
• 24:25
  science
• 24:25
  and
• 24:25
  we
• 24:26
  you
• 24:26
  can
• 24:26
  track
• 24:26
  it
• 24:26
  energetically
• 24:28
  as
• 24:28
  well,
• 24:28
  not
• 24:29
  science
• 24:29
  y,
• 24:29
  but
• 24:29
  energetically
• 24:30
  wise
• 24:31
  that
• 24:31
  unresolved
• 24:32
  trauma
• 24:32
  travels
• 24:33
  through
• 24:33
  families.
• 24:36
  We're
• 24:36
  carrying
• 24:37
  stuff.
• 24:37
  We
• 24:37
  came
• 24:37
  in
• 24:38
  carrying
• 24:39
  unresolved,
• 24:41
  the
• 24:41
  effects
• 24:41
  of
• 24:41
  unresolved
• 24:42
  trauma.
• 24:42
  We're
• 24:42
  carrying
• 24:43
  that
• 24:43
  stuff.
• 24:45
  And
• 24:45
  we're
• 24:46
  not
• 24:46
  even
• 24:46
  talking
• 24:46
  about
• 24:47
  that.
• 24:47
  And
• 24:47
  yet,
• 24:48
  we
• 24:48
  have
• 24:49
  in
• 24:50
  the
• 24:50
  United
• 24:50
  States,
• 24:51
  just
• 24:52
  as
• 24:52
  an
• 24:52
  example,
• 24:52
  we
• 24:52
  have
• 24:53
  this
• 24:54
  racial
• 24:55
  divide.
• 24:56
  And,
• 24:57
  but
• 24:57
  in
• 24:57
  my
• 24:57
  lifetime,
• 24:58
  we've
• 24:59
  seen
• 24:59
  parts
• 25:00
  of
• 25:01
  the
• 25:01
  world,
• 25:01
  parts
• 25:02
  of
• 25:02
  corporate
• 25:03
  included,
• 25:04
  parts
• 25:04
  of
• 25:04
  the
• 25:04
  culture
• 25:05
  start
• 25:05
  to
• 25:05
  meld.
• 25:06
  And
• 25:07
  also
• 25:07
  we're
• 25:07
  having
• 25:07
  This
• 25:08
  also
• 25:08
  gender
• 25:10
  is
• 25:10
  not
• 25:10
  so
• 25:10
  segregated
• 25:11
  anymore,
• 25:13
  and
• 25:14
  the
• 25:14
  way
• 25:15
  we
• 25:15
  do
• 25:15
  that
• 25:16
  is
• 25:16
  by
• 25:16
  bringing
• 25:16
  in
• 25:17
  compassion
• 25:17
  and
• 25:18
  this
• 25:18
  understanding
• 25:19
  and
• 25:19
  this
• 25:19
  trauma
• 25:20
  informed
• 25:21
  approach
• 25:22
  to
• 25:24
  how
• 25:24
  do
• 25:24
  we
• 25:24
  talk
• 25:24
  to
• 25:25
  one
• 25:25
  another
• 25:25
  given
• 25:26
  that
• 25:26
  we're
• 25:26
  both
• 25:27
  carrying
• 25:27
  this
• 25:28
  stuff.
• 25:28
  And
• 25:30
  we're
• 25:30
  both,
• 25:31
  we
• 25:31
  both
• 25:32
  have
• 25:32
  programs
• 25:33
  that
• 25:33
  we
• 25:33
  came
• 25:34
  into
• 25:34
  this
• 25:34
  world
• 25:35
  with
• 25:35
  and
• 25:35
  then
• 25:35
  that
• 25:36
  were
• 25:36
  further
• 25:37
  reinforced
• 25:39
  by
• 25:40
  family,
• 25:41
  by
• 25:41
  community,
• 25:42
  by
• 25:43
  culture,
• 25:46
  and
• 25:46
  now
• 25:46
  we
• 25:46
  can't
• 25:46
  talk
• 25:47
  to
• 25:47
  one
• 25:47
  another.
• 25:48
  What
• 25:48
  do
• 25:48
  we
• 25:48
  do
• 25:49
  to
• 25:49
  bridge
• 25:49
  that
• 25:49
  gap?
• 25:50
  And
• 25:50
  there
• 25:50
  are
• 25:50
  people
• 25:50
  that
• 25:51
  teach
• 25:51
  that.
• 25:52
  Yeah.
• 25:52
  That's
• 25:52
  why
• 25:53
  when
• 25:53
  I
• 25:53
  went
• 25:53
  into
• 25:54
  when
• 25:54
  I
• 25:55
  already
• 25:55
  was,
• 25:55
  I
• 25:55
  was
• 25:55
  already
• 25:56
  doing
• 25:56
  ancestral
• 25:57
  work,
• 25:57
  but
• 25:57
  I
• 25:57
  went
• 25:58
  into
• 25:58
  historical
• 25:58
  trauma
• 25:59
  specifically
• 26:00
  and
• 26:00
  Tom,
• 26:00
  Thomas
• 26:01
  Huppel's
• 26:01
  work
• 26:01
  around
• 26:02
  collective
• 26:02
  trauma.
• 26:02
  Amazing.
• 26:04
  So
• 26:04
  very
• 26:05
  helpful
• 26:05
  and
• 26:05
  bringing
• 26:06
  compassion
• 26:07
  into
• 26:07
  all
• 26:07
  of
• 26:07
  it.
• 26:07
  So
• 26:08
  understanding
• 26:09
  when
• 26:09
  you
• 26:09
  walk
• 26:09
  into
• 26:10
  a
• 26:10
  room,
• 26:11
  what's
• 26:11
  the
• 26:11
  landscape
• 26:12
  I'm
• 26:12
  walking
• 26:13
  into?
• 26:14
  If
• 26:14
  we
• 26:14
  have
• 26:14
  no
• 26:15
  idea
• 26:15
  of
• 26:15
  what
• 26:16
  we're
• 26:16
  conscious,
• 26:17
  we're
• 26:17
  not
• 26:17
  conscious
• 26:17
  of
• 26:18
  what
• 26:18
  we're
• 26:18
  walking
• 26:18
  into
• 26:19
  because
• 26:19
  we
• 26:19
  don't
• 26:19
  have
• 26:19
  the
• 26:19
  education
• 26:20
  and
• 26:20
  we
• 26:20
  don't
• 26:20
  have
• 26:21
  the
• 26:21
  awareness
• 26:21
  within
• 26:22
  ourselves
• 26:23
  to
• 26:23
  feel
• 26:23
  that.
• 26:25
  We've
• 26:26
  got
• 26:26
  some
• 26:26
  work
• 26:26
  to
• 26:26
  do.
• 26:29
  And
• 26:29
  is
• 26:29
  it
• 26:29
  just
• 26:29
  more
• 26:30
  people
• 26:30
  like
• 26:30
  you
• 26:30
  and
• 26:30
  me,
• 26:30
  more
• 26:31
  people,
• 26:31
  just
• 26:32
  spreading
• 26:32
  the
• 26:32
  word,
• 26:33
  just
• 26:33
  talking,
• 26:33
  being
• 26:34
  too
• 26:34
  loud.
• 26:34
  I
• 26:35
  don't.
• 26:35
  care.
• 26:37
  I'm
• 26:38
  okay.
• 26:38
  I'll
• 26:38
  be
• 26:38
  that
• 26:39
  squeaky
• 26:39
  wheel.
• 26:40
  They
• 26:40
  say
• 26:40
  the
• 26:40
  squeaky
• 26:40
  wheel
• 26:41
  gets
• 26:41
  the
• 26:41
  grease.
• 26:41
  I'll
• 26:42
  be
• 26:42
  that
• 26:42
  person,
• 26:43
  but
• 26:43
  we
• 26:43
  just
• 26:43
  need
• 26:43
  so
• 26:44
  many
• 26:44
  more.
• 26:45
  It's
• 26:45
  not
• 26:45
  a,
• 26:46
  it's
• 26:47
  not.
• 26:48
  Yeah.
• 26:49
  You
• 26:49
  need
• 26:49
  an
• 26:49
  army.
• 26:50
  But
• 26:51
  that's,
• 26:51
  that's
• 26:52
  why
• 26:52
  you
• 26:52
  and
• 26:52
  I,
• 26:53
  you
• 26:53
  have
• 26:53
  a
• 26:54
  podcast.
• 26:54
  I
• 26:54
  go
• 26:54
  on
• 26:55
  lots
• 26:55
  of
• 26:55
  COD
• 26:55
  podcasts.
• 26:56
  You
• 26:56
  go
• 26:56
  on
• 26:56
  podcasts.
• 26:57
  We
• 26:57
  were
• 26:58
  out
• 26:58
  there
• 26:58
  spreading
• 26:58
  the
• 26:58
  word
• 26:59
  it's
• 27:00
  a
• 27:00
  mission.
• 27:00
  And
• 27:00
  like
• 27:01
  you
• 27:01
  said
• 27:01
  you
• 27:01
  have
• 27:01
  this
• 27:02
  passion.
• 27:02
  This
• 27:03
  is
• 27:03
  where
• 27:03
  I
• 27:03
  need
• 27:03
  to
• 27:03
  be
• 27:04
  putting
• 27:04
  my
• 27:04
  energy
• 27:05
  and
• 27:05
  I
• 27:05
  have
• 27:05
  the
• 27:05
  same
• 27:06
  passion
• 27:06
  in
• 27:06
  kind
• 27:07
  of
• 27:07
  the
• 27:07
  sphere
• 27:07
  that
• 27:07
  I
• 27:08
  work
• 27:08
  in,
• 27:08
  which,
• 27:08
  and
• 27:08
  we
• 27:09
  intersect,
• 27:09
  which
• 27:10
  is
• 27:11
  our
• 27:11
  audiences
• 27:11
  intersect
• 27:12
  so
• 27:12
  beautifully.
• 27:13
  Yeah,
• 27:13
  they
• 27:13
  really
• 27:14
  do.
• 27:14
  I
• 27:14
  love
• 27:14
  it.
• 27:15
  I
• 27:15
  could
• 27:15
  talk
• 27:15
  to
• 27:15
  you
• 27:16
  all
• 27:16
  day
• 27:16
  and
• 27:16
  I
• 27:17
  you
• 27:17
  know
• 27:17
  It's
• 27:17
  funny
• 27:17
  that
• 27:17
  you
• 27:18
  had
• 27:18
  that
• 27:18
  and
• 27:18
  I
• 27:18
  we
• 27:18
  were
• 27:18
  talking
• 27:19
  to
• 27:19
  my
• 27:19
  I
• 27:19
  was
• 27:19
  talking
• 27:19
  to
• 27:19
  someone
• 27:20
  the
• 27:20
  other
• 27:20
  day
• 27:20
  about
• 27:20
  this
• 27:21
  and
• 27:21
  I
• 27:21
  Was
• 27:21
  talking
• 27:21
  about
• 27:22
  and
• 27:22
  I
• 27:22
  don't
• 27:22
  know
• 27:22
  much
• 27:22
  about
• 27:23
  the
• 27:23
  past,
• 27:24
  the
• 27:24
  historical
• 27:25
  trauma
• 27:25
  and
• 27:25
  stuff
• 27:26
  I
• 27:26
  just
• 27:26
  know
• 27:26
  what
• 27:26
  i've
• 27:27
  read,
• 27:27
  but
• 27:27
  I
• 27:27
  truly
• 27:28
  believe
• 27:28
  that
• 27:29
  is
• 27:29
  why
• 27:30
  being
• 27:30
  like
• 27:31
  in
• 27:31
  a
• 27:31
  recession
• 27:32
  is
• 27:32
  so
• 27:33
  hard
• 27:33
  on
• 27:33
  people
• 27:33
  because
• 27:34
  I
• 27:34
  Didn't
• 27:34
  live
• 27:35
  with
• 27:35
  my
• 27:35
  great
• 27:35
  grandparents
• 27:36
  or
• 27:36
  grandparents
• 27:37
  when
• 27:37
  they
• 27:37
  were
• 27:37
  going
• 27:37
  through
• 27:37
  the
• 27:38
  depression
• 27:38
  You
• 27:39
  But
• 27:39
  I
• 27:39
  know
• 27:40
  many
• 27:40
  of
• 27:40
  them
• 27:40
  were
• 27:41
  close
• 27:41
  to
• 27:41
  starving
• 27:42
  and
• 27:42
  that's
• 27:43
  like
• 27:43
  that's
• 27:44
  one
• 27:44
  of
• 27:44
  the
• 27:44
  one
• 27:44
  example
• 27:45
  of
• 27:45
  that.
• 27:45
  So
• 27:45
  then
• 27:46
  all
• 27:46
  of
• 27:46
  a
• 27:46
  sudden
• 27:46
  we
• 27:46
  hit
• 27:46
  this
• 27:47
  recession
• 27:48
  slash
• 27:49
  and
• 27:50
  it
• 27:50
  invokes
• 27:50
  fear
• 27:51
  in
• 27:51
  a
• 27:51
  lot
• 27:51
  of
• 27:51
  people
• 27:52
  and
• 27:52
  they
• 27:52
  don't
• 27:52
  know
• 27:52
  why.
• 27:54
  Oh,
• 27:54
  absolutely.
• 27:55
  And
• 27:55
  when
• 27:55
  COVID
• 27:55
  hit
• 27:56
  and
• 27:56
  we
• 27:56
  all,
• 27:56
  went
• 27:57
  inside
• 27:58
  literally
• 27:59
  my
• 28:00
  client,
• 28:00
  it
• 28:00
  was
• 28:00
  amazing
• 28:01
  because
• 28:01
  I
• 28:02
  get,
• 28:02
  I've
• 28:02
  got
• 28:02
  clients
• 28:03
  from
• 28:03
  all
• 28:03
  over
• 28:03
  the
• 28:03
  world.
• 28:03
  Of
• 28:03
  course,
• 28:04
  that
• 28:04
  was
• 28:04
  all
• 28:04
  over
• 28:04
  the
• 28:05
  world
• 28:05
  kind
• 28:05
  of
• 28:05
  thing.
• 28:05
  And
• 28:06
  everybody
• 28:06
  was
• 28:06
  bringing
• 28:07
  in.
• 28:08
  The
• 28:08
  stuff
• 28:08
  that
• 28:09
  they
• 28:09
  were
• 28:09
  carrying
• 28:10
  was
• 28:10
  around
• 28:11
  plague,
• 28:11
  Spanish
• 28:12
  flu
• 28:13
  things
• 28:13
  that
• 28:13
  made
• 28:13
  us
• 28:13
  isolated
• 28:14
  separate
• 28:15
  you're,
• 28:16
  you're
• 28:16
  bad,
• 28:17
  all
• 28:17
  this
• 28:17
  kind
• 28:17
  of
• 28:17
  stuff
• 28:18
  that
• 28:18
  was
• 28:20
  all
• 28:20
  part
• 28:20
  of
• 28:21
  the
• 28:21
  zeitgeist
• 28:22
  of
• 28:22
  the
• 28:22
  COVID
• 28:23
  phenomenon.
• 28:24
  Yeah.
• 28:25
  Yeah.
• 28:25
  It's,
• 28:26
  we're
• 28:26
  still
• 28:27
  really
• 28:27
  reeling
• 28:28
  in
• 28:28
  this.
• 28:28
  In
• 28:29
  this
• 28:29
  blaming.
• 28:30
  It's
• 28:30
  them,
• 28:31
  not
• 28:31
  me.
• 28:32
  It's,
• 28:32
  what's
• 28:32
  wrong
• 28:33
  with
• 28:33
  you?
• 28:33
  I'm,
• 28:34
  that
• 28:34
  kind
• 28:34
  of
• 28:34
  thing
• 28:35
  where
• 28:35
  we're
• 28:35
  so
• 28:36
  reactive
• 28:37
  that
• 28:37
  we've
• 28:37
  forgotten
• 28:38
  that
• 28:39
  we're
• 28:39
  missing
• 28:40
  the
• 28:40
  compassion
• 28:41
  piece.
• 28:42
  Oh,
• 28:42
  yeah,
• 28:42
  we
• 28:42
  definitely
• 28:43
  are
• 28:43
  definitely
• 28:45
  Again,
• 28:46
  we've
• 28:46
  got
• 28:46
  you
• 28:46
  we've
• 28:46
  got
• 28:47
  me.
• 28:47
  We've
• 28:47
  got
• 28:47
  lots
• 28:47
  of
• 28:47
  people
• 28:48
  out
• 28:48
  there.
• 28:48
  Just
• 28:48
  people
• 28:48
  We
• 28:49
  just
• 28:49
  need
• 28:49
  to
• 28:49
  make
• 28:49
  people
• 28:49
  more
• 28:50
  aware
• 28:50
  That's
• 28:50
  all
• 28:50
  we
• 28:50
  can
• 28:50
  do
• 28:51
  just
• 28:51
  do
• 28:51
  the
• 28:51
  best
• 28:51
  we
• 28:51
  can
• 28:51
  do
• 28:52
  and
• 28:52
  hope
• 28:52
  that
• 28:52
  people
• 28:53
  listen
• 28:53
  to
• 28:53
  us
• 28:53
  and
• 28:53
  hope
• 28:54
  our
• 28:54
  voice
• 28:54
  finds
• 28:54
  a
• 28:54
  place
• 28:55
  But
• 28:56
  thank
• 28:56
  you
• 28:56
  so
• 28:56
  much.
• 28:56
  I
• 28:57
  don't
• 28:57
  want
• 28:57
  to
• 28:57
  keep
• 28:57
  everybody
• 28:58
  all
• 28:58
  day.
• 28:58
  This
• 28:58
  has
• 28:58
  been
• 28:58
  super
• 28:59
  fun
• 28:59
  I'm
• 28:59
  going
• 28:59
  to
• 28:59
  put
• 29:00
  all
• 29:00
  of
• 29:00
  your
• 29:00
  links
• 29:01
  But
• 29:01
  tell
• 29:01
  people
• 29:02
  that
• 29:02
  are
• 29:02
  listening,
• 29:02
  if
• 29:03
  they
• 29:03
  want
• 29:03
  to
• 29:03
  work
• 29:03
  with
• 29:03
  you,
• 29:03
  where
• 29:04
  do
• 29:04
  they
• 29:04
  find
• 29:04
  you?
• 29:05
  Oh,
• 29:05
  you
• 29:05
  can
• 29:05
  find
• 29:05
  me
• 29:05
  at
• 29:06
  my
• 29:06
  website,
• 29:07
  which
• 29:07
  is
• 29:07
  Elizabeth
• 29:08
  with
• 29:08
  a
• 29:08
  hyphen,
• 29:09
  and
• 29:09
  then
• 29:09
  kip,
• 29:09
  K
• 29:10
  I
• 29:10
  P
• 29:10
  dot
• 29:10
  com.
• 29:11
  You
• 29:11
  gotta
• 29:11
  put
• 29:11
  the
• 29:11
  hyphen
• 29:11
  in
• 29:12
  there
• 29:12
  to
• 29:13
  get
• 29:13
  me,
• 29:13
  otherwise
• 29:13
  you'll
• 29:14
  get
• 29:14
  the
• 29:14
  other
• 29:14
  Elizabeth
• 29:15
  Kip,
• 29:15
  who's
• 29:16
  amazing,
• 29:16
  but
• 29:16
  she's
• 29:16
  not
• 29:17
  me.
• 29:17
  And
• 29:17
  you
• 29:18
  can
• 29:18
  find
• 29:18
  all
• 29:18
  my
• 29:18
  social
• 29:19
  media
• 29:19
  there,
• 29:19
  and
• 29:19
  lots
• 29:20
  of
• 29:20
  free
• 29:20
  resources
• 29:21
  on
• 29:21
  the
• 29:21
  website.
• 29:21
  Thanks.
• 29:22
  Perfect.
• 29:23
  Perfect.
• 29:23
  And
• 29:24
  before
• 29:24
  you
• 29:24
  go,
• 29:24
  you
• 29:24
  got
• 29:25
  to
• 29:25
  leave
• 29:25
  the
• 29:25
  listeners
• 29:25
  with
• 29:26
  one
• 29:26
  little
• 29:26
  bit
• 29:26
  of
• 29:27
  advice.
• 29:27
  If
• 29:27
  you
• 29:27
  could
• 29:27
  say
• 29:28
  one
• 29:28
  words
• 29:28
  of
• 29:28
  wisdom
• 29:29
  or
• 29:29
  three
• 29:29
  words
• 29:30
  of
• 29:30
  wisdom,
• 29:30
  what
• 29:30
  would
• 29:30
  they
• 29:30
  be?
• 29:31
  What
• 29:31
  would
• 29:32
  now
• 29:32
  be
• 29:32
  a
• 29:32
  good
• 29:33
  time?
• 29:35
  That's
• 29:35
  a
• 29:35
  good
• 29:35
  one.
• 29:37
  Perfect.
• 29:39
  Perfect.
• 29:40
  Awesome.
• 29:40
  You
• 29:41
  guys,
• 29:42
  again,
• 29:42
  that
• 29:42
  was
• 29:42
  Elizabeth
• 29:43
  Kipp.
• 29:43
  Look
• 29:43
  her
• 29:43
  up.
• 29:44
  She's
• 29:44
  absolutely
• 29:44
  amazing.
• 29:45
  And
• 29:45
  we
• 29:45
  will
• 29:45
  keep
• 29:45
  you
• 29:45
  posted
• 29:46
  on
• 29:46
  the
• 29:46
  summit
• 29:47
  that
• 29:47
  we're
• 29:47
  going
• 29:47
  to
• 29:47
  do
• 29:47
  that
• 29:48
  is
• 29:48
  all
• 29:48
  around
• 29:48
  this.
• 29:49
  And
• 29:50
  You
• 29:50
  guys
• 29:50
  have
• 29:51
  a
• 29:51
  blessed
• 29:51
  day
• 29:51
  and
• 29:51
  know
• 29:52
  that
• 29:52
  just
• 29:52
  start
• 29:53
  using
• 29:53
  some
• 29:53
  more
• 29:53
  compassion
• 29:54
  teach
• 29:54
  people
• 29:54
  compassion
• 29:55
  the
• 29:55
  people
• 29:55
  you're
• 29:56
  with
• 29:56
  It
• 29:56
  will
• 29:56
  rub
• 29:57
  off
• 29:57
  the
• 29:57
  more
• 29:57
  you
• 29:58
  do
• 29:58
  it.
• 29:58
  The
• 29:58
  more
• 29:58
  people
• 29:59
  around
• 29:59
  you
• 29:59
  will
• 29:59
  do
• 29:59
  it
• 30:00
  Thank
• 30:00
  you
• 30:00
  very
• 30:00
  much,
• 30:01
  and
• 30:01
  you
• 30:01
  have
• 30:01
  a
• 30:01
  blessed
• 30:01
  day