Latest / Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland / Choosing Safe Video Games

Transcript

Choosing Safe Video Games · Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland

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  Speaker 1: Purposely, your life, God's purpose. More podcasts at Purposely.com. Everybody,
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  Speaker 1: today we are talking about video games and how we
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  Speaker 1: can pick the best ones for our children. I'm assuming
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  Speaker 1: with this conversation that you're a family who's decided, you
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  Speaker 1: know what, video games are something we're going to participate in.
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  Speaker 1: They're safe. Our And we want to know if the
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  Speaker 1: outcome is going to be good with the games we pick.
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  Speaker 1: If you're not there yet, this will be a clarifying
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  Speaker 1: conversation for you as you think about what you could
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  Speaker 1: do to get there. But if you're allowing your child
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  Speaker 1: to look to play video games, how do we decide
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  Speaker 1: specifically when we're talking elementary and junior high level children,
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  Speaker 1: which games are appropriate? I'm beginning to do some game reviews.
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  Speaker 1: So we just finished one on Marvel's Wolverine. It is
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  Speaker 1: not just bringing out a hammer against a game-rated mature.
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  Speaker 1: The focus is actually how do we talk about them well?
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  Speaker 1: So if we have a junior high kid who goes, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: but I can turn off the gore. What can I do?
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  Speaker 1: Can I play it now? We talk through the steps
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  Speaker 1: of like, okay, what hurdles would we need to overcome
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  Speaker 1: to make this game playable in our family? And that's
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  Speaker 1: going to be true across everything. any games, so let's
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  Speaker 1: talk about your conversation with your family first. What can
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  Speaker 1: you do to pick a great video game? Look at
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  Speaker 1: the box. Look at the little letter on the box.
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  Speaker 1: If it says E for everyone, that game is probably
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  Speaker 1: appropriate for all age ranges if video games are something
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  Speaker 1: you're going to do. It's not appropriate for every mind type,
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  Speaker 1: for every personality. It's not appropriate for me. I haven't
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  Speaker 1: played a game in 15 years, so any video game
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  Speaker 1: would be inappropriate for me. But in terms of the content,
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  Speaker 1: we are not dealing with video games, or excuse me,
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  Speaker 1: we're not dealing in the video game world with what
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  Speaker 1: we had in, say, movies in the 1980s. You're not
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  Speaker 1: going to get curse words and violence and inappropriate relational
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  Speaker 1: scenes that still earn a PG rating. If it says
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  Speaker 1: E for everyone, it's probably E for everyone. If it
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  Speaker 1: says M for mature, they mean that there are some
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  Speaker 1: very concerning either topics or conversations or scenes and violence
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  Speaker 1: in there. that are not meant for young users. So
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  Speaker 1: just check that, just look at the box. You can
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  Speaker 1: go to esrb.org, the entertainmentsoftwarereviewboard.org, type in the name of
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  Speaker 1: your game, hit enter and click on the game you
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  Speaker 1: want because they do a really nice job of giving
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  Speaker 1: you one paragraph blurb. They're not a marketing arm. of
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  Speaker 1: the video game industry. And by that, I mean, they're
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  Speaker 1: not trying to hype up the games to be like,
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  Speaker 1: this game is amazing. Look at all the violence. Instead,
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  Speaker 1: they're as factual as you can be. They don't cover
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  Speaker 1: every single detail, but they do a very nice job
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  Speaker 1: of encapsulating why is it teen? Why is it E?
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  Speaker 1: Why is it mature? All right. First is look at
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  Speaker 1: the box. Second is trust your gut. You know your kid.
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  Speaker 1: If you have like a spidey sense going on, be like, man,
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  Speaker 1: there's just something about this game that doesn't feel right.
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  Speaker 1: It might even happen after you've said yes. So you
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  Speaker 1: give your child the game and there's something you're just like, yeah,
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  Speaker 1: they don't love it. It's not even necessarily in a kid.
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  Speaker 1: It's not even reset related per se. This isn't your
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  Speaker 1: child's relationships pivoting or their sleep getting impeded. You're just
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  Speaker 1: watching the game and you're like, there's something about it.
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  Speaker 1: I would put this in the category of how I
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  Speaker 1: feel about certain children's cartoons where I'm like, it's not
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  Speaker 1: thematically bad. It would pass any, you know, PBS special
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  Speaker 1: test for like Daniel Tiger. Like it's teaching you life lessons,
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  Speaker 1: but but I don't like the character. Like, I wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: let this character hang out with my kid a lot. Like,
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  Speaker 1: he or she is disrespectful or just blatantly disobedient or
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  Speaker 1: a little bit like Kevin McAllister in Home Alone, but
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  Speaker 1: in a children's cartoon. And I just don't like it. Like,
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  Speaker 1: there's something off. Trust your spidey sense. And I'm being
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  Speaker 1: simple there, but there are other things where you're like,
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  Speaker 1: there's no smoking gun, well, maybe literally, but there's no
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  Speaker 1: specific evidence that you have that this game is a
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  Speaker 1: bad choice. You're just like, oh, I don't love it.
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  Speaker 1: You can put a pause on that game and say, hey,
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  Speaker 1: I need to do some more research. Go watch some
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  Speaker 1: gameplay online. Pull up YouTube, enter the game's title, and
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  Speaker 1: just put gameplay. And you can put no commentary if
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  Speaker 1: you don't want someone else's words coming in. And just
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  Speaker 1: kind of click through the game and look for it.
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  Speaker 1: If ESRB didn't note it specifically, just look for is
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  Speaker 1: it a theme in the game? Is it the messaging
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  Speaker 1: of the game? Is it the way the game focuses
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  Speaker 1: your child's mind and heart? Like there are some that
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  Speaker 1: are just not the best. And you may not be
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  Speaker 1: a fan of it, even if it's not inappropriate per se.
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  Speaker 1: Trust your gut. then grade it. The third thing you
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  Speaker 1: can do is actually give this game a grade. And
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  Speaker 1: it's wonderful to do with your child in the room
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  Speaker 1: because sometimes that stops the conversation real quickly. You pull
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  Speaker 1: up that same YouTube video, gameplay of, enter the blank.
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  Speaker 1: You start watching it and you're looking for these six
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  Speaker 1: categories and you start seeing things and your child might
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  Speaker 1: just go, yeah, it's fine. Like I get it. We're
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  Speaker 1: probably not going to play this game. And that doesn't
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  Speaker 1: mean you have to dunk on them or make them
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  Speaker 1: feel bad or like, you know, do an, I told
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  Speaker 1: you so thing. You simply have the conversation and go, Hey,
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  Speaker 1: do you, do you know why we, we don't want
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  Speaker 1: you to play this game? It's not because it's not cool.
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  Speaker 1: And it's not because your friends aren't playing it. It's
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  Speaker 1: because we believe it's bad for you. Like we want
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  Speaker 1: you to play games that are good. So look through
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  Speaker 1: and we can put this in the show notes, uh,
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  Speaker 1: or the comments, whichever your podcast or YouTube, uh, Would
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  Speaker 1: we have the character over for dinner? This is the
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  Speaker 1: first question we ask. We simply watch it and go,
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  Speaker 1: how do we feel about this? So in Marvel's Wolverine,
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  Speaker 1: most of us would say, no, Logan probably isn't the
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  Speaker 1: guy we want hanging out with our kids a lot one-on-one.
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  Speaker 1: So would we put this child into a world with
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  Speaker 1: him where they get a lot of time together? That
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  Speaker 1: might sound silly if you're not a gamer, but just know,
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  Speaker 1: parasocial relationships are real, and we feel an affinity towards
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  Speaker 1: our characters, even if they're the bad guys sometimes. Like,
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  Speaker 1: we just, we understand their story, and it's actually a
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  Speaker 1: little Stockholm complex sometimes. But like, it is real that
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  Speaker 1: we grow fond of our characters, even our nemesi, nemesi, nemesises? Anyway,
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  Speaker 1: the bad guys. So... Would you have this character over
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  Speaker 1: for dinner? Is this someone you want your child to
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  Speaker 1: be more like? It might seem like a silly question
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  Speaker 1: at times, but it's a real experience. So ask the question. Violence,
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  Speaker 1: is it just part of it? Like there happens to
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  Speaker 1: be violence, but it's acceptable to an extent. The one
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  Speaker 1: that always is that kind of midline on dividing families
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  Speaker 1: I found is Fortnite. There's no blood, but there's a
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  Speaker 1: lot of fully automatic weaponry being aimed at your friends.
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  Speaker 1: So is it... you know, Hunger Games and child violence
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  Speaker 1: on child on child violence? Or is it a nerf
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  Speaker 1: or laser tag battle? Like, I don't know, have the
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  Speaker 1: conversation with your child about what is our expectation for violence.
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  Speaker 1: And this is before you see what it does to
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  Speaker 1: your child. Obviously, if your kid plays, and suddenly becomes aggressive,
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  Speaker 1: or gets overstimulated, or starts being just rage, rage, which
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  Speaker 1: we'll get to in a minute, like, we want to
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  Speaker 1: address that. Violence is Language, is the language helpful? Is
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  Speaker 1: it just progressing the plot or is there messaging in
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  Speaker 1: this unhelpful or is it actually just a lot of
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  Speaker 1: cursing and profanity? Playtime, can we be content with this?
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  Speaker 1: Well-made games like Minecraft still fight on contentment because it's
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  Speaker 1: limitless and there's really no amount of time that's enough.
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  Speaker 1: So can we be okay just playing this game for
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  Speaker 1: 30 minutes? Minecraft would fail on time, but that doesn't
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  Speaker 1: make it a bad game for everyone. It does make
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  Speaker 1: it a very hard game to put down. Other games
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  Speaker 1: like World of Warcraft or even Fortnite would fall into that.
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  Speaker 1: It's like Pringles. You never just eat one. Can I
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  Speaker 1: have a chip, Dad? Yes, here's one chip. Now, don't
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  Speaker 1: complain and go about your day. These are the things
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  Speaker 1: that you want to be good at so that you
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  Speaker 1: can enjoy being good at it. Playtime, we want to
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  Speaker 1: make sure contentment is possible and we give ourselves the
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  Speaker 1: highest possible likelihood of that outcome. Parents, as we strive
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  Speaker 1: to raise kids who love God and use tech, it's
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  Speaker 1: intimidating to look at this next stage of life and
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  Speaker 1: think about what academics may look like for them. When
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  Speaker 1: you're thinking about college, consider George Fox University for your
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  Speaker 1: children because of three things. First, it's going to give
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  Speaker 1: you a more intimate, known environment where they have a
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  Speaker 1: focus on being known personally, academically, and spiritually. Your child
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  Speaker 1: will grow in their faith. 93% of undergrad students at
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  Speaker 1: George Fox last year through the 2025 academic year said
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  Speaker 1: that being at George Fox has helped them grow in
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  Speaker 1: their relationship with Jesus. We also want them to grow academically,
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  Speaker 1: which means being a part of university with rigorous academic
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  Speaker 1: standards and opportunities to be engaged. They have a nationally
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  Speaker 1: recognized engineering, nursing, and education programs, as well as chances
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  Speaker 1: to study abroad here within the U.S. and then internationally.
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  Speaker 1: And finally, personally, to be part of a vibrant campus
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  Speaker 1: atmosphere where you can play intramural sports or part of
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  Speaker 1: their NCAA Division III athletic programs with 23 sports available.
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  Speaker 1: The goal here is to go to a place that's
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  Speaker 1: going to support your goals, not try to make you
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  Speaker 1: support theirs. To have that goal be to raise you
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  Speaker 1: up to be all God's called you to be and
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  Speaker 1: to truly equip your young person with my, in my case,
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  Speaker 1: my son's or my daughter's to love God and then
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  Speaker 1: from their love of God to go wherever God has
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  Speaker 1: called them. And that includes being equipped with a degree
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  Speaker 1: that will help them do that, to be missionally equipped
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  Speaker 1: to love and serve others, to lead where God has
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  Speaker 1: planted them in, to know the gospel for themselves, to
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  Speaker 1: be able to share it with others. So George Fox
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: University is an amazing resource for our kids, for our
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: community here in the Northwest, and for anyone who's looking
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  Speaker 1: to raise up a young person who can love God
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  Speaker 1: and from that, love others. Themes, do they line up
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  Speaker 1: with our family values? Do they line up with what
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  Speaker 1: God tells us to celebrate and what is true, honorable, just,
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  Speaker 1: and good? If that's true, then wonderful. If it's a
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  Speaker 1: really complex story, just make sure we've thought through that
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  Speaker 1: this complex story is appropriate for our child's experience. And
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  Speaker 1: is it a fair game design? I mean, is it
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  Speaker 1: a game that comes with all the parts and it's
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  Speaker 1: not built around retention alone? There are games that are
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  Speaker 1: built unfairly in order to keep your child on that game.
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  Speaker 1: I often call out Call of Duty's prestige classes as
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  Speaker 1: something that are effectively a meaningless game addition, but what
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  Speaker 1: they do is they force people to play a lot
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  Speaker 1: because kids care about it. And then they keep playing
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  Speaker 1: even after the game's no longer fun to accomplish something
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  Speaker 1: that really doesn't benefit their game experience and certainly doesn't
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  Speaker 1: benefit their real world lives. Instead, it's just a trick
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  Speaker 1: to keep you coming back because it's the sunk cost fallacy.
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  Speaker 1: I've already gotten to prestige class three, so I should
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  Speaker 1: just keep burning hundreds of hours to max out my
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  Speaker 1: prestige classes. We want to look at that when we
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  Speaker 1: think about game design. Are they demanding payment from our children?
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  Speaker 1: Are they constantly throwing ads at them? Are they looping
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  Speaker 1: them in with behavioral loops to make it unsatisfying to
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  Speaker 1: finish playing. Even Duolingo does this, right? Am I going
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  Speaker 1: to make my little owl sad? Am I going to
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  Speaker 1: get demoted a leak? So there are a couple others.
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  Speaker 1: So we looked at the character, violence, language, playtime theme,
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  Speaker 1: and game design. You can look at a couple others. Regiometer,
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  Speaker 1: does this make my child just incredibly angry? This will
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  Speaker 1: be things like Hollow Knight and Dark Souls and Elden
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  Speaker 1: Ring and like games that are just built around making
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  Speaker 1: you so frustrated. Flappy Bird for a Sleep-o-meter, like if
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  Speaker 1: your kid plays this, does your child sleep worse? Just
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  Speaker 1: ask the question. Vacation location. I like this one. I
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  Speaker 1: know I'm like tooting my own horn on that, but
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  Speaker 1: like your child has a finite amount of free time
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  Speaker 1: to spend in a fantastical world. Is this the world
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  Speaker 1: that you would hope for them? Like, would you go
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  Speaker 1: there on vacation? Because there are some worlds, like it's
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  Speaker 1: an engaging story and the character's fine, but like, holy moly,
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  Speaker 1: this is dark. Like, let's go somewhere nice for a minute. Like,
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  Speaker 1: this is your free time away from all the stress
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  Speaker 1: and the friends and the competition and the real world.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe go somewhere nice. This is why Animal Crossing exists.
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  Speaker 1: You don't have to play Animal Crossing, but think about
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  Speaker 1: the location your child is spending his or her free
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  Speaker 1: time in. It might explain some other stuff. If any
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  Speaker 1: of these fail, and you go, you know what? This
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  Speaker 1: game is not good for our family. find an alternative.
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  Speaker 1: It might just be a lower paced or a more
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  Speaker 1: appropriate version of that game. So in the Wolverine example,
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  Speaker 1: you might go to the Marvel Spider-Man from seven years ago,
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  Speaker 1: made by Insomniac, the same company, but it's just not
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  Speaker 1: trying to be so adult. So maybe you do something
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  Speaker 1: like that. Maybe go to an older console and you
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  Speaker 1: just play simpler video games because Well, there were no
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  Speaker 1: behavioral scientists on design teams before Halo. So if you
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  Speaker 1: find something before the original Xbox, it might be unhealthy,
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  Speaker 1: but it wasn't designed by a behavioral scientist to be unhealthy.
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  Speaker 1: You can also go just slower pace. You can go
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  Speaker 1: to board games. You can go to real world play
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  Speaker 1: like Legos because that's analog Minecraft. You can get outside
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  Speaker 1: and do creative play with sticks and friends and have
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  Speaker 1: the opportunity to make your own fun. You can also
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  Speaker 1: create on your own. This could be creating with drawing,
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  Speaker 1: with writing, with physically building stuff. If you need to
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  Speaker 1: purchase something, there are lots of groups that sell you
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  Speaker 1: really cool kinetic play tools. In fact, in the comments
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  Speaker 1: or send a note to me, what is your favorite
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  Speaker 1: kinetic play tool for your child? We've done the Mark
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  Speaker 1: Rober Crunch Labs boxes. Those have been cool. We've done the,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: oh my goodness, I'll put it in the show notes,
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  Speaker 1: but the Cooking for Kids I can picture the cover.
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  Speaker 1: I just can't picture the name. Anyway, there are wonderful
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  Speaker 1: adventures you can have at the pace of real life.
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  Speaker 1: You do want to make sure it's age appropriate and
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  Speaker 1: that the topics fit your family. If you're letting your
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  Speaker 1: children play video games and you're picking games that work
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  Speaker 1: for them and with them, make sure that those games
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  Speaker 1: are games they go to with friends, not for friends.
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  Speaker 1: Whatever the game is, do not buy into the lie
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  Speaker 1: that your child needs to be in the space in
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  Speaker 1: order to have friends. If that is currently your reality,
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  Speaker 1: find a way to get your child plugged in with
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  Speaker 1: at least one real-world person. It could be in your neighborhood.
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  Speaker 1: It could be through your church or community. It could
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  Speaker 1: be just in the general location that you live or
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  Speaker 1: through your local co-op, but getting tied in with a
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  Speaker 1: real-world person who is going to be a healthy fit
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  Speaker 1: for your child is really important. So please do make
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  Speaker 1: sure that they're playing video games with friends, not for friends,
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  Speaker 1: and that the games line up with what you expect
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  Speaker 1: from your family. So in conclusion, look at the box,
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  Speaker 1: trust your gut, grade that game, and then make adjustments
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  Speaker 1: as needed. In the meantime, continue to have fun making
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  Speaker 1: these conversations intentional and deliberate with your family. play games
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  Speaker 1: with your kids. If you're letting your kids play games,
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  Speaker 1: go ahead and ask them questions. What's your favorite part?
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  Speaker 1: Can you show me how to do that? Could we
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  Speaker 1: play this together? It doesn't need to be every single day,
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  Speaker 1: but you can be a part of that experience with
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  Speaker 1: your child because you've told your child, yes, this is safe,
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  Speaker 1: you're ready, and I like what it's doing for you.
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  Speaker 1: So now these games matter to you. So go ahead
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  Speaker 1: and jump in and be a part of it. If
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  Speaker 1: you have any questions, you can comment below, ask me.
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  Speaker 1: I do try to get back to those quickly. You
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  Speaker 1: can email me, nathan at gospeltech.net. And I look forward
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  Speaker 1: to talking with you next time about how we can
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  Speaker 1: continue to use the best tech well and raise kids
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  Speaker 1: who love God and use tech. See you then.