Latest / Random Heathen Ramblings / Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP29 - Chains Of Blood & Breaking Family Curses (feat. John Deslatte)

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Random Heathen Ramblings: S6, EP29 - Chains Of Blood & Breaking Family Curses (feat. John Deslatte) · Random Heathen Ramblings

• 0:01
  Hello everyone, and welcome to the Random Heathen Ramblings
• 0:03
  podcast where we discuss all sorts of things Germanic
• 0:06
  Heathenry related. My name is Jesse and I'm your
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  host. Let's get into it.
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  and discover the beauty of Mountain Spirit.
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  What's up everybody? Welcome back to the podcast this
• 1:08
  week. Thanks so much for tuning in and
• 1:10
  checking out what it is we do here.
• 1:11
  If this is your first time and you've never heard or seen of me
• 1:14
  before, this is a heathen podcast and we ramble on about
• 1:17
  various things at various times with sometimes various people.
• 1:21
  And that is the case today. I've got a guest lined up, a
• 1:24
  fellow who I've been talking with on and off over social
• 1:28
  media, probably for, I don't even know exactly the last
• 1:31
  several years, I think are close to it.
• 1:34
  We got a couple of mutual acquaintances and friends over
• 1:37
  the social media platforms, which is how we kind of came in
• 1:40
  contact. He's been following my stuff for
• 1:44
  not exactly sure how long we'll get into that too, but he he
• 1:48
  has, you know, we've, we've talked a lot about things,
• 1:51
  various things back and forth just as as social media
• 1:53
  acquaintances or friends on whether it's, you know, metal
• 1:57
  music or culture. He lives in the state of
• 2:00
  Louisiana. I'm in Tennessee, where we're
• 2:01
  kind of in the same, you know, southern region of the United
• 2:04
  States, but culturally very much different backgrounds.
• 2:08
  But we found a lot of things that we connect with and
• 2:10
  Heathenry is kind of one of them.
• 2:12
  We're going to get into talking about some of some of his
• 2:16
  background, hopefully and, and get to know a little bit about
• 2:18
  him. And, and the topic of today's
• 2:22
  show was something that he had reached out to me over Facebook
• 2:27
  and said, Hey, let's do this. Let's have a podcast about this.
• 2:30
  And I go, wow, let's, you know, let's just jump right in the
• 2:33
  deep end. Why don't we, you know, like,
• 2:35
  let's just go for it. And, and, and, you know, you
• 2:40
  know, no, no wading in to the to the shallow end and sort of
• 2:45
  testing the waters. We're just, we're just going
• 2:46
  right in. So we're going to be talking
• 2:48
  today about family curses and the things that kind of go along
• 2:56
  with dealing with that. We'll go over some viewpoints or
• 3:03
  some perspectives perhaps that that heathens can have when
• 3:07
  dealing with such a, a sensitive or, or delicate topic, if you
• 3:12
  will. But yeah, his name is John the
• 3:18
  Lot, by the way, his name is John the Lot.
• 3:20
  And he will be joining me here in just a moment.
• 3:23
  But before we get him on here, just to remind you all again, if
• 3:26
  you're new and you're listening to this on either Spotify or,
• 3:29
  or, or Apple Podcasts or whatever it is that you're
• 3:32
  listening to this, I do just want to make sure that you know
• 3:35
  that I upload the video version of this show every week the same
• 3:41
  day that it airs on the audio platforms.
• 3:43
  The video version is uploaded to my spot or to my Patreon, which
• 3:49
  you can join at the Carl tier. It's a $1.00 pledge and that
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  gets you access to the video show, the video version of the
• 3:56
  show. So you get to see me on screen.
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  You get to see my guests and any of the other, you know, visual
• 4:03
  type things that you're that you might be missing if you're just
• 4:07
  listening. You don't have to if you don't
• 4:09
  want to. Again, you're under no
• 4:10
  obligation to to, to join at that tier or any other tier.
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  I do have different levels of or tiers of support on my Patreon,
• 4:17
  but that up that that site is patreon.com/midgard musings and
• 4:23
  links for it will also be in the link tree link that you see in
• 4:25
  the show notes of this podcast. So just head on over to my link
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  tree and find the Patreon button.
• 4:32
  Join me over there if you want to watch the videos.
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  It's a great way to show your support without burning a hole
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  in your wallet. You know, it's just that $1.00
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  pledge. What else we got going on?
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  Follow me on all the socials, you know, Facebook, Instagram,
• 4:44
  YouTube. That's where I, I, I post my
• 4:48
  regular, you know, short form content and, and clips of the
• 4:50
  show here. You can also see me next month,
• 4:56
  actually, sorry. You can see me in October in
• 4:59
  Nashville, TN at the Nashville Pagan pride day event.
• 5:02
  I believe it's Saturday, October 4th.
• 5:05
  I will be set up there on vendor row with a canopy to read runes.
• 5:11
  And so you can head over to the Nashville Pagan pride either
• 5:16
  Facebook page or I believe it's Nashville Pagan pride.com.
• 5:23
  Maybe I'll put a link down in the show notes for for all of
• 5:26
  you that that may want to head on over there and then see.
• 5:30
  But I'll be in Nashville October 4th.
• 5:32
  So if you're in the area, you're going to be at NPPD, please come
• 5:35
  by my tent and say hi and maybe get your rooms read.
• 5:38
  So all right, now that we've got all the housekeeping stuff out
• 5:40
  of the way and I've got John the lot kind of sitting in the quote
• 5:44
  UN quote green room waiting to join here.
• 5:47
  Let's go ahead and welcome him on do the show for the first
• 5:51
  time attending, but a long time listener and supporter.
• 5:55
  So hey, John, how are you doing and welcome to the show.
• 5:58
  I'm. Good.
• 6:00
  And you? Doing great, man.
• 6:03
  Nice to see your face in live kind of way.
• 6:05
  You know what I mean? Like we, we, we talk online
• 6:07
  without really having any FaceTime.
• 6:10
  So, and this is I think the first time I've heard your
• 6:12
  voice. So it's always cool to put a
• 6:14
  face and a voice to the name behind the screen.
• 6:17
  So it's a pleasure to have you here and thanks for joining us
• 6:19
  this week. Well, same here, I apologize for
• 6:23
  anyone worth a long. I've heard myself several times
• 6:26
  and I realize I'm very like southern drawn accent on the
• 6:31
  basis of people a lot of times don't understand what I'm
• 6:34
  saying. It's not it's believe me, I've
• 6:37
  heard worse. I'm I'm a bit travelled myself
• 6:40
  when it comes to going different places of the country.
• 6:43
  So I've heard, you know, the thickest Boston accent, the
• 6:46
  most, you know, Bobby Boucher K Joan thing from Louisiana where
• 6:52
  you are, but and and and everything in between.
• 6:54
  So you're definitely on the milder side as as far as I
• 6:57
  would, I would say with your accent.
• 7:00
  So no worries. I am having easy time
• 7:03
  understanding you some of those Louisiana accents and dialects.
• 7:08
  Boy that it's almost like, are those even words?
• 7:12
  Oh, yeah. I mean, you get like the New
• 7:14
  Orleans. Yeah.
• 7:14
  It sounds like someone from Brooklyn talking to you.
• 7:17
  Yeah, to, to, to me, when I, when I would go to the New
• 7:21
  Orleans Parish, you know, the locals from there.
• 7:25
  I'm, I'm like you, you know, if, if, if somebody from Brooklyn
• 7:30
  and the Deep South, like Mississippi had a baby and
• 7:33
  that's what they came out sounding like, 'cause they got
• 7:35
  that, they got that kind of kind of Boston or, or Brooklyn kind
• 7:40
  of sound. But with like this twang to a,
• 7:41
  to it's, it's a, it's a real weird kind of thing going in.
• 7:44
  You know, I don't mean to disrespect any, any Louisianians
• 7:49
  or whatever. You just call yourselves by, by
• 7:52
  that horrible, horrible impression of, of that.
• 7:56
  Yeah. So whereabouts in Louisiana are
• 7:58
  you? Are you from New Orleans or are
• 8:00
  you in? I've lived in New Orleans for
• 8:03
  often long five close ears, but I'm originally from the Baton
• 8:07
  Rouge area, which is where I'm at right now, which is in a town
• 8:11
  named Slaughter, which people wanted to spell it.
• 8:16
  It's you can't have slaughter, you can't have laugh, you can't
• 8:19
  not have slaughter without laughter.
• 8:20
  Without laughter. Yeah.
• 8:22
  Yeah. There used to be a band in the
• 8:25
  area here in Middle Tennessee that they were called Behold the
• 8:31
  Slaughter, and they were, they were death Corps, you know,
• 8:35
  which is an abundance. I remember them 20 years ago
• 8:37
  when I was driving through Nashville and everything.
• 8:40
  It was like at that time, Nashville was being established
• 8:43
  as the heavy metal capital of the country, and that's when
• 8:47
  Kings Of Leon and all of them was.
• 8:49
  Starting up OK Yep yeah. So behold the slaughter.
• 8:52
  You know they were they were death corps.
• 8:54
  It was, you know, real, you know, karate and the pit type
• 8:57
  stuff. But we, you know, they were they
• 8:58
  were a bunch of goofballs anyway, And that which is funny
• 9:02
  when you, you know, people that are metal heads know, like they
• 9:05
  got this, you know, real tough look or whatever, but they're
• 9:07
  really just a bunch of geeks and and they'd say that too.
• 9:11
  So they would make, you know, we'd make fun of the band.
• 9:13
  And so, so behold the laughter. You know I.
• 9:17
  Mean down here is Acid Bath was always the big heavy metal band.
• 9:22
  Oh, yeah, yeah, that's like you're all that's like the alma
• 9:24
  mater man, the Louisiana and and you know, you got yeah, acid
• 9:30
  bath, corrosion of conformity down.
• 9:33
  You know who else? What do you call it?
• 9:39
  Goat whore. I was trying to think goat
• 9:41
  whore. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that.
• 9:43
  Yeah, a lot. Of good music out of Louisiana.
• 9:45
  A lot of good music out of Louisiana.
• 9:50
  I forget. Do you play do you play
• 9:52
  instruments at all or you mess around on I?
• 9:55
  Played bass in the past and more of my style was more ministry.
• 10:00
  OK, Yeah. Like if you were to take
• 10:02
  Ministry and Slayer and Alice and Chase throw them together,
• 10:05
  that was more of my Stella playing.
• 10:07
  Nice. So have you ever been like, have
• 10:10
  you played local gigs or did you do anything like that or was it
• 10:13
  just mess around? Well, at the time I was living
• 10:16
  in San Antonio. That's where I was raised, was
• 10:18
  around the San Antonio area and I played for little bitty.
• 10:24
  Opening ones is usually with other tribute bands like a
• 10:27
  Slayer tribute band and a type of Negative tribute band and an
• 10:34
  Aqua tribute band. Aqua, you said?
• 10:38
  Yeah, yeah, that's random. Yeah, that was a really
• 10:43
  interesting show to play. I bet.
• 10:47
  Well, so that makes sense. So, you know, you you were you
• 10:49
  said you were raised in San Antoine.
• 10:52
  Yeah. Were you born in Louisiana and
• 10:55
  raised up there? Yeah, I was born in Baton Rouge,
• 10:57
  grew up early part in French settlement, which is anyone who
• 11:01
  knows the landscape. That's Louisa Paris, and that
• 11:06
  area has its own history all together, mostly a bloodshed and
• 11:11
  war. Following the Civil War they
• 11:15
  tried to split off from the Union and up until World War
• 11:19
  One, the Union sent troops down here all the time and they did
• 11:26
  nothing but burn farms and a lot of things.
• 11:33
  I'm going to try to keep the PG rated on, but yeah they did.
• 11:37
  A lot. They were terrible.
• 11:38
  I mean, yeah. Which is where the term the War
• 11:45
  of Northern Aggression came from because it was literally hell on
• 11:50
  earth living down here during that time.
• 11:52
  Yeah, yeah. And until World War One, when
• 11:55
  they had to take all the troops, sent them over to World War One,
• 11:58
  that was the breaking point of all that.
• 12:01
  It's like we got bigger problems to deal with now.
• 12:05
  Yeah. Yeah, I noticed that too, man.
• 12:08
  Like, you know, I grew up in New York.
• 12:09
  I was raised on Long Island, but I moved up to the lower Hudson
• 12:13
  Valley when I was about 13 years old.
• 12:15
  A lot of Revolutionary War history up there.
• 12:19
  Yeah, right on the Hudson. You know what I mean?
• 12:22
  Like the? 3 Indian Wars and everything all
• 12:25
  up in that area, which is what Last Mohicans was inspired from
• 12:29
  in that old Beer Slayer series that James Fenimore Cooper wrote
• 12:32
  upon exactly was based off of that whole.
• 12:36
  Spans on Yeah, exactly, exactly right.
• 12:40
  You know, so I grew up in those, in those landscapes where a lot
• 12:43
  of that American conflict, you know, those wars happened.
• 12:46
  But then when I moved to the South and living in.
• 12:51
  So when I first moved to Tennessee, I was in Hardin
• 12:54
  County, Tennessee, which is kind of in between, like Jackson and
• 12:58
  Memphis area, so closer to, you know, West Tennessee side of
• 13:02
  things. And I was, I was about 20 or 30
• 13:06
  minutes away from the Shiloh battlefield, So very close to,
• 13:11
  to a very, you know, important area of American Civil War
• 13:17
  history. And now where I live is I'm, I'm
• 13:19
  right down the road from Stones River, the Stones River
• 13:22
  battlefield, and I live off on the Stones River.
• 13:24
  You know, So I mean, it's like I moved from one extreme of, you
• 13:29
  know, the North where there was, you know, those, those, there
• 13:32
  was the American Revolution, everything that was happening
• 13:34
  there and all that bloodshed and all that, those atrocities to
• 13:37
  the South where there was this inner conflict with the nation,
• 13:42
  you know, the, the Confederacy in the Union and living very
• 13:46
  close in proximity to those, to those battlefields of those
• 13:50
  battlegrounds. So it's been, you know, learning
• 13:53
  the history and, and feeling the energy of the land and, and
• 13:57
  coexisting with that and, and moving, you know, navigating.
• 14:00
  It's been, it's been a, it's been definitely a, an
• 14:04
  interesting and enlightening, I would say yeah, experience.
• 14:11
  How far are you from Raven's Fall?
• 14:15
  Raven's fall, he said. Yeah.
• 14:20
  That's a good question. Cause over in Nashville area.
• 14:24
  Oh, Ravens fall. Well, Nashville's only like 45
• 14:28
  minutes really like. Nashville, not Nashville.
• 14:31
  Oh, oh, oh, Asheville, Asheville, that's out east.
• 14:35
  So probably about four or four or five hours or so.
• 14:41
  OK. Yeah, No, I used to go pick up
• 14:44
  when I drove truck. I used to go from Chicago for
• 14:47
  Indianapolis down to Murfreesboro, pick up there at
• 14:51
  the Walmart distribution center and just haul ass back down to
• 14:56
  all Eastern Louisiana to drop off and then I'd have my
• 15:02
  weekend. So I know the Murfreesboro
• 15:05
  pretty well. Yeah, man.
• 15:07
  Oh, I don't know when the last time you were here, but I've
• 15:09
  been here, I've been in Murfreesboro for 10 years now,
• 15:12
  and it has changed drastically in just that amount of time.
• 15:16
  Oh yeah. And I.
• 15:18
  Remember 20 years ago compared to now and it's like, yeah, no,
• 15:21
  it's night and day. It's kind of like San Antonio,
• 15:25
  Dallas, all of Texas. How it was 20 years ago compared
• 15:30
  to now is night and day difference.
• 15:32
  Yeah, I can't. I can't imagine because you
• 15:34
  know, I, you know, I, I just got back from New York to visiting
• 15:39
  my sister and, and some family. And you know, when the, the
• 15:46
  house where my sister lives was my parents house with that we
• 15:48
  moved into when I was a kid back in 97.
• 15:52
  So my niece who's, who's living there now with, of course, my,
• 15:57
  my, my sister and their and her husband, their kid, they, she's
• 16:01
  all like, oh, she's telling me about the, you know, the
• 16:04
  property. And I'm like, I could tell you
• 16:06
  about the property. I mean, I used to live here.
• 16:08
  This is how, you know, these are my stomping grounds and
• 16:10
  everything that you see here, the way it looks, didn't look
• 16:13
  this way when I was a kid, you know?
• 16:15
  Oh, yeah. So it's wild.
• 16:17
  That's like the. Town I grew up in, up in Texas,
• 16:19
  it was it at the time it was a podunk town.
• 16:23
  Now it's a hipster area in which they have a brewery, they have a
• 16:26
  winery there. And, and I'm like, I'm glad
• 16:30
  they've actually built up because when I was living there,
• 16:32
  it was an absolute pulled up, down.
• 16:36
  Yeah. Dive.
• 16:37
  Yeah. People born there, raised there,
• 16:40
  live there, die there, Right? Nothing really happens.
• 16:42
  Yeah. But 100 years ago is basically
• 16:45
  the water as of Texas it was nothing but gambling and
• 16:50
  prostitution and the Texas Rangers went in and shut it
• 16:53
  down, which they still preserve the buildings that had all the
• 16:58
  houses of. Ill refute however, yeah, things
• 17:06
  change as you go along. Right.
• 17:09
  Yeah. It's the different times, you
• 17:10
  know, you got to change the brothels to, to, to, to, to
• 17:14
  barista, you know, coffee shops and stuff, you know now.
• 17:18
  It just sells watermelon and antiques now.
• 17:21
  I think that's all it does now. Really.
• 17:24
  Yeah, that's wild. Yeah.
• 17:27
  Interesting. Well, man, it's good to to, to
• 17:30
  learn a little bit about your, your, your background.
• 17:33
  I know we've talked offline over the years and I was trying to
• 17:36
  think like how long it's been that we've stayed so somewhat
• 17:39
  connected over social media, but it's been at least a couple
• 17:42
  years, I think. Yeah, it's been at least two
• 17:45
  years. Yeah, and you know, we got a
• 17:48
  couple. Or I was just hit or miss on
• 17:50
  everything. It was like, yeah, if I saw
• 17:51
  something I put my $0.02 into it, which honestly isn't worth
• 17:57
  much, but. Yeah, don't, don't undersell
• 18:00
  yourself. You've, you and I have had
• 18:02
  really interesting conversations that have brought me to think of
• 18:06
  things in ways or explore topics or explore ideas that otherwise
• 18:11
  I may not have. You know what I mean?
• 18:14
  However, a lot of those have been on the level of be as crazy
• 18:18
  and. You know what, I I like that
• 18:22
  though. I like, I like pushing the
• 18:23
  envelope. I like kind of getting, you
• 18:28
  know, on the edge with, with, with stuff.
• 18:31
  Not a lot of people feel comfortable enough to do that.
• 18:34
  Not a lot of people want to first of all, you know, talk
• 18:38
  about these things that, you know, really can make you feel
• 18:41
  uncomfortable. I mean, it's like that's,
• 18:42
  there's no other way of putting it.
• 18:44
  It's, it's, it's tough stuff. So when you approached me about
• 18:48
  want to come on the show, first of all, I was like, wait, you
• 18:50
  mean like you want to come on the show 'cause I think we've
• 18:53
  talked, we had talked about the possibility of you coming on the
• 18:56
  show in the past, over the years.
• 18:59
  And it never really struck me as something that was like
• 19:04
  definitive. You like the idea, but we never
• 19:08
  really like nailed anything down, you know?
• 19:10
  Yeah, well, I'm so hit or miss on everything.
• 19:15
  I mean, I've lived the last. I'm 40 now.
• 19:19
  I've lived basically the last 20 years off a motorcycle traveling
• 19:24
  around the country or in a semi truck so I've always been just
• 19:31
  basically fear and loathing across the entire country.
• 19:36
  That's a rough. Lifestyle I, I literally mean
• 19:39
  that I've part of my family has always been, yeah, they're the
• 19:42
  type to stake down or they're the type to be the bohemian
• 19:47
  lifestyle for the Max. And I've fallen into the
• 19:50
  bohemian lifestyle for the Max. Yeah.
• 19:54
  I've lived all over the country. I've lived in New York City,
• 19:57
  Boston, Miami, Seattle, Los Angeles, Dallas, Denver,
• 20:05
  Virginia Beach. I mean, just and Laredo and
• 20:10
  going into Mexico and Canada and just wandering wherever.
• 20:18
  Was that like by choice or or by design?
• 20:22
  You think like, oh. That's choice.
• 20:24
  I just get tired of an area or a job and I get, I mean, I've been
• 20:28
  in, I'm a certified Harley Tech. I've been to school for that.
• 20:32
  I've been to Cordon Bleu and New Orleans, studied there for
• 20:39
  cooking. And I'll do a job or so for two
• 20:44
  to five years and get bored and get up and go do something else
• 20:46
  as it is, experience new things, do whatever.
• 20:54
  That's that's an interesting lifestyle to maintain for sure.
• 20:57
  You know, by by and large, I think most people like to find
• 21:03
  something that allows them the chance to settle down at some
• 21:07
  point. You know what I mean?
• 21:08
  Kind of set up roots somewhere. Have you has has that, you know,
• 21:14
  is that something that's ever coming across your heart that
• 21:18
  you want to try to find that or, or do you like the nomadic move
• 21:23
  around lifestyle? Definitely.
• 21:25
  But the problem is is I'm so sporadic that in a lot of
• 21:33
  women's mind, not husband material because it's just it's
• 21:45
  like Molly Hatchet said, the song go on one last ride is when
• 21:50
  the night time comes. My spirits always on the run.
• 21:52
  I mean, it's that is good. I mean it has its high points.
• 21:56
  It also has its negative aspects.
• 21:59
  For one, you can't put down roots, but I mean, and those
• 22:04
  roots you put down usually destroy in that basis.
• 22:07
  But I've never found anyone that actually truly wanted to
• 22:12
  actually do all that. Yeah, yeah.
• 22:16
  I mean, it's a, it's a, you know, it's, it's definitely,
• 22:19
  it's a lifestyle, you know what I mean?
• 22:21
  And it's not for everybody. And in many cases it's not for,
• 22:26
  no, it's not for most, you know, they people like some stability.
• 22:30
  They want that, you know. But it's, it's, you know, and
• 22:32
  it's not to put it down in any sort of way.
• 22:36
  It's just to recognize it and realize, hey, this, you know,
• 22:39
  sometimes that's just what people like.
• 22:40
  And that's what they that's where they find their place in
• 22:42
  the world. Yeah, I mean, both have the good
• 22:46
  and bad. Having a nomadic lifestyle, you
• 22:50
  definitely have a lot more stories to talk about, but.
• 22:53
  Oh yeah. However, on the whole you don't
• 22:56
  have anything at the end of the day to so forth, and especially
• 23:03
  at my age at 40, people don't have much so patience for it
• 23:10
  anymore in life and that's just the way it normally is.
• 23:16
  I see. That's why I always tell people
• 23:18
  I usually it's like, yeah, I've been short driver for the last
• 23:21
  20 years, what I've gone back and forth doing.
• 23:23
  But it's like, honestly, that's the only job I've actually been
• 23:26
  able to keep for a long period of time because you have that
• 23:31
  Vagabond. Yeah.
• 23:34
  You roll in, you roll out, you know.
• 23:36
  Yeah, I worked on the road for a long time, you know, probably
• 23:42
  about, I would say about five years, which may not sound like
• 23:46
  a long time, but being on the road, you know, that's a long
• 23:48
  time. I was, you know, be home for a
• 23:51
  few days, sometimes a week, but then I'd be right back out, you
• 23:57
  know, for a couple of weeks sometimes.
• 23:59
  It's great for the money, but it's not great on having a life.
• 24:04
  You know, and I had relationships too during all
• 24:07
  that and it was a strain. It's, it's definitely, it's not
• 24:10
  easy if you're trying to to maintain that lifestyle while
• 24:15
  also preserving or or maintaining a relationship with
• 24:19
  of any sorts with people. Yeah, it's great for 21 year
• 24:23
  olds that are single. Right.
• 24:26
  Yeah, other than that. That's why usually most truck
• 24:29
  drivers are like, I have my dog or cat, yeah, or the very few I
• 24:33
  have my ferret or Raven with me, which I came across those and
• 24:38
  they're like, yeah, I've had them for 10 plus years and
• 24:43
  they're basically their only family.
• 24:45
  Yeah, they're Little Travel Companion.
• 24:48
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:51
  All right. Well, now that we know a little
• 24:52
  bit about kind of your background and, and the, the,
• 24:56
  the life of John the lot, as it were, you came to me with this
• 25:02
  topic that I really thought would would be something
• 25:05
  interesting to get into. You wanted to talk about family
• 25:10
  curses from like the, the, the, the angle of the perspective.
• 25:17
  How like throughout generations, a person can be sort of held
• 25:22
  back or limited, you know, on on what they're able to do because
• 25:31
  of something that happened in their family line.
• 25:36
  Is there is there anything particular that brought you to
• 25:39
  want to talk about this on a podcast?
• 25:45
  Honestly, it's more of I've come to realize it over a period of
• 25:52
  time. 10 years ago someone said, oh, breaking family purses and
• 25:58
  da, da, da, da, da. I was like literally like, yeah,
• 26:03
  quit feeling sorry for yourself and actually get up and do
• 26:06
  something in life. But recently in the last, I'll
• 26:10
  say five years, I'm starting to understand more of where they're
• 26:16
  actually coming from on that and me and my family being here in
• 26:22
  Louisiana since before the United States because we were
• 26:26
  sent here in the like 16 O 4 to Louisiana.
• 26:32
  And since then, pretty much the entire time we've been here,
• 26:36
  we've been in war. And looking back upon my family
• 26:43
  history, it's been nothing but war and death for pretty much
• 26:49
  forever. I mean, Louisiana, especially
• 26:52
  South Louisiana, has been nothing but bloodshed and blood
• 26:57
  magic. And it's I've, I've come to
• 27:03
  understand that, yeah, people's history, actually.
• 27:10
  It can make a difference. I mean it can different.
• 27:12
  Generations, yeah. It darkens so well, it poisons
• 27:16
  so well. And looking around at the
• 27:20
  country today, here in America, I could see how all that has
• 27:26
  actually gone through and actually has come to fruition.
• 27:32
  You know, it's not a it's not a rare thing to see in any culture
• 27:37
  really. I think almost any, you know,
• 27:42
  any, any culture would have the idea or the concept or believe
• 27:47
  in something along those lines where generationally speaking,
• 27:51
  good and bad is passed down. You know, you can look at like,
• 27:59
  like from a heathen perspective, 'cause you and I have talked
• 28:01
  about a lot of different things. You know, Heathenry is one of
• 28:05
  the common grounds that we've, we've, we've touched upon, you
• 28:08
  know, and I don't know if you're, you know, if you would I
• 28:13
  call yourself heathen or if you're, you know, you don't
• 28:16
  really call yourself anything, but you find value in the
• 28:19
  heathen concepts of things. But in Heathenry, there's,
• 28:23
  there's plenty of like examples or cases in some of the sagas
• 28:30
  and some of the lore that you know, like, for example, like
• 28:34
  look at the Volsung's saga, right?
• 28:36
  Fafnir's gold or Onvardi's gold, you know that that becomes a
• 28:43
  curse throughout multiple generations, whoever owns it.
• 28:46
  And then, you know, you look at like that, that whole story from
• 28:50
  the beginning, where, where, where Sigurd slaying Fafnir, the
• 28:54
  tragic fate of Gutheran's family, right?
• 28:56
  It, it's, it's passed down through the generations through
• 29:01
  family lines. There's a, there's another one
• 29:04
  that you know, you talk, talk about how southern Louisiana is
• 29:10
  history full of blood feuds and blood and magic.
• 29:14
  There's a saga called Niall Saga where, you know, maybe not
• 29:21
  necessarily considered a magical curse or, or, or a curse in a
• 29:25
  magical sense, like nobody like waved A wand or or cast a spell
• 29:29
  and now you're cursed. But Niall Saga is an example
• 29:33
  between or or an example of a feud right between y'all's
• 29:39
  family and this other family, which escalates because there
• 29:47
  are honor debts and and revenge obligations, you know, So like,
• 29:52
  well, because of you know, what happened, you know, 345 whatever
• 29:56
  generations ago, we are bound by this revenge obligation to
• 30:00
  continue it and how that can be like it it it traps generations
• 30:07
  in this inevitable destruction, you know, and how do you come to
• 30:13
  a point of healing that and stopping that vicious cycle from
• 30:18
  continuing, you know? Yeah, and honestly, majority of
• 30:26
  my family, I don't know how to even begin on that older
• 30:29
  brother, which Blimey, he was the biggest a hole you ever came
• 30:35
  across to cocky arrogant. And I'm not going to say I'm not
• 30:39
  any different. I was as cocky and arrogant as
• 30:42
  actual Rose was back in the day. I mean.
• 30:45
  That's pretty arrogant, showing up late to his own concerts all
• 30:48
  the time and not then canceling them.
• 30:50
  Or Oh yeah, and then automatically fight everyone.
• 30:53
  I mean, right And but my brother beat me out on cocky and
• 31:00
  arrogant and he's learned because he's been the Navy, he's
• 31:06
  actually started taking a long psychology lessons and
• 31:14
  everything from an actual psychiatrist and he's actually
• 31:17
  toned down a hell of a lot. Really.
• 31:21
  Yeah, and it's better because majority of my family is that
• 31:26
  way. It's yeah, we are the biggest A
• 31:28
  holes on the planet and we'll fight everyone at a moment's
• 31:33
  whim if you just disagree with us, which is actually something
• 31:37
  I've had to actually learn over the last 10 plus years to curve
• 31:41
  down because they don't work in society in reality.
• 31:47
  No, man, it it, it, it destroys relationships that could have
• 31:51
  been beneficial and and it hurts and it does damage sometimes
• 31:56
  irreparable damage. I can relate to looking.
• 32:01
  Back 10 plus years, 10 to 20 plus years, yeah, I've had, it's
• 32:06
  like, yeah, that could have worked really well.
• 32:08
  That could have worked really well.
• 32:09
  It is like, oh crap, I screwed that up.
• 32:13
  Yeah, no. And that's interesting that
• 32:15
  we're talking about this now, because when I was in New York a
• 32:18
  few weeks ago, you know, that was the, that was the first time
• 32:23
  in a couple of years that I've seen my sister and my dad's
• 32:27
  sister, my aunt and my, and my, my uncle's wife, my, my other
• 32:33
  aunt. So my dad's sister, she's still
• 32:37
  alive. And then my uncle's wife, who my
• 32:40
  uncle passed in, in January the same year that my mom did.
• 32:43
  So she's a widow now. But the last time I saw any of
• 32:47
  them was the year that my father passed away.
• 32:50
  And that, that, that whole thing, when it happened, I was,
• 32:56
  I was very bitter. I was very confrontational.
• 32:59
  I was angry and I didn't care, you know, at the time, I, I, I
• 33:04
  was behaving purely out of my emotions.
• 33:08
  You know what I mean? I was treating people in ways
• 33:12
  that they didn't deserve to be treated because I was hurt.
• 33:15
  And that anger was, was, was coming through my, my actions.
• 33:20
  And it, it was the thing that, that was the last time that I
• 33:24
  saw my mother alive. That's how she saw me.
• 33:28
  And then I never spoke to her much except for an occasional
• 33:33
  text like happy birthday, happy anniversary or something.
• 33:36
  And it wasn't, it wasn't a good way to for us to, to, to end our
• 33:42
  what I, you know, later on realized this was the last time
• 33:45
  I would see my mother alive. And you know, and then so like.
• 33:50
  70 now so. It's, it's, it's, it's sobering
• 33:54
  when you think about, you know, how in a moment or because of,
• 33:59
  of how we're feeling right when we behave, that might be the
• 34:02
  last time you see that person. And what kind of, what kind of
• 34:07
  impression are you leaving and, and what kind of lasting thing
• 34:10
  is, is, is happening by doing that?
• 34:13
  So when I went back to New York this time and I saw these people
• 34:16
  that I hadn't seen in a couple years, you know, they noticed a
• 34:19
  big difference in me and in a good way.
• 34:22
  And I was so glad to have the chance to, to see them again and
• 34:26
  to show them that I had learned and that I'm learning and that
• 34:29
  I'm growing in a good way. And that there's, this is a
• 34:32
  different Jesse now because the last version of me that they saw
• 34:37
  was, you know, I'm glad he's not there and I'm glad he's not
• 34:42
  back. But that kind of ties into what
• 34:46
  we're talking about, you know, the, the, the actions, the
• 34:48
  behaviors, the decisions that are made get passed down
• 34:55
  through, you know, like you, you know, you inherit a lot from,
• 34:58
  from family, good and bad, you know, so I can say that, oh, you
• 35:05
  know, my, my, my temper, the way that I am sort of a cocky, a
• 35:09
  hole. And, you know, whatever it is,
• 35:12
  you know, those traits, I could say, well, I got it from my dad,
• 35:15
  I got it from my uncle. I got it from this person, that
• 35:17
  person or whatever. And almost, you know, it's
• 35:19
  almost like blaming the reasons why I am the way I am on them.
• 35:25
  Yeah, finally, the scapegoat. Yeah, yeah.
• 35:28
  It's because of this, because of my environment.
• 35:30
  Even like people, you know, find that as, as the reasons why I am
• 35:34
  the way I am is because of little.
• 35:35
  Look at how I was raised. Look at where I grew up.
• 35:37
  Look at what happened to me, you know?
• 35:39
  Yeah. And as was.
• 35:42
  Yes, in my opinion. Do you think what went on is as
• 35:47
  no, it takes people more to wake up to.
• 35:50
  It takes a lot of people a long time to wake up to it.
• 35:53
  I mean, I'm just going to use victim mentality people have
• 35:57
  today, which in my opinion is the same thing is victim
• 35:59
  mentality, to excuse the issues that they have that they
• 36:07
  honestly can control on their own.
• 36:10
  Yeah. Do you think, do you think that
• 36:12
  'cause I mean, we, we've, we've each gone through our own,
• 36:15
  we're, we're around the same age, You know, I just turned 40
• 36:17
  last year. You're 40.
• 36:19
  Yeah, I'm 40, so. So, you know, we've, we've kind
• 36:22
  of been around the block around the, you know, the same amount
• 36:26
  of time, live different lives, but in terms of our lifespan, do
• 36:29
  you think that, or, or can you understand that how easy it is
• 36:36
  for people to just not take responsibility and to not take
• 36:39
  ownership of things to make a, make a better life or better
• 36:44
  outcome for themselves and just be like, well, this is it.
• 36:46
  I guess I, this is the lot in life for me.
• 36:48
  This is, this is the cards that I was dealt.
• 36:51
  You see how easy that is for people to just kind of take the
• 36:54
  easy way out and not not take initiative to change.
• 36:58
  Oh, yeah, I mean, I, I watched my grandparents grow up and I
• 37:03
  also got to see a little bit of my great grandparents.
• 37:06
  And regardless, no matter what they did, what they had to do,
• 37:10
  they took responsibility. They had their issues, they had
• 37:15
  their, I'm just going to say since from the past, which they
• 37:18
  took accountability for and they didn't apologize for what they
• 37:24
  were or what they had done. And that's not saying that oh,
• 37:30
  I'm building themselves up to anything, but they were
• 37:35
  sorrowful over the stuff they did in the past and lived up to
• 37:39
  people today with social media. Social media is nothing but a
• 37:44
  big 4/4 pity me store story party and we instigate along
• 37:56
  with allow it to happen and really should not happen under
• 38:06
  any circumstance. We need to hold people
• 38:08
  accountable for how they are just because.
• 38:12
  I mean I'm not going to get in specifics because that'll open a
• 38:17
  whole different can of worms under certain things.
• 38:20
  But just because someone with their bad things in their past
• 38:24
  doesn't mean they get to reenact the same stuff that they dealt
• 38:28
  with. I mean, we see that over and
• 38:32
  over again since time began of someone was treated extremely
• 38:38
  poorly and yeah, they need help and sympathy upon that.
• 38:45
  However, the people use it on the basis of being able to
• 38:52
  project the same type of attitude upon the rest of the
• 38:55
  world. Yeah, yeah, I've seen it both
• 38:59
  ways, man. I've seen that where people use
• 39:03
  their, you know, the, the, the poor hand that they've been
• 39:06
  dealt, the rough life that they've had, and they, and I've
• 39:09
  seen them use that as a crutch. You know, I'm damaged.
• 39:14
  I, I, you know, this is the reason why am I can't help it,
• 39:17
  right? And, and play the blame game.
• 39:20
  And I've also seen people who have gone through terrible
• 39:23
  things in their life, abuse, you know, mental health, like all
• 39:28
  kinds of things. And they have approached that.
• 39:34
  They've, they've, they've found a way to heal through that and
• 39:37
  to use those low points in their life to become great.
• 39:43
  They've learned from that. They, they've, and it's been
• 39:46
  hard, man. Like it's been, it's, it's been
• 39:48
  some of the most debilitating work that a person can do on
• 39:52
  themselves is that, you know, people call it shadow work or,
• 39:55
  you know, working on yourselves and confronting those things and
• 39:57
  realizing that this is, this is part of me.
• 40:01
  There are certain things that do need to.
• 40:03
  Be laid to rest and, and but there's so much that needs to be
• 40:09
  like confronted and lived with because it's not going away.
• 40:13
  It's it's, it's part of who we are.
• 40:14
  It's part of what you know, that's how unique we are as
• 40:18
  individuals. You know, no, no one person's
• 40:20
  the same and everybody's going through their own thing.
• 40:22
  And it's it's what has formed them into the to the being that
• 40:27
  they are now and today. I mean, my mother is a redhead
• 40:32
  from Wales, and she was a nicer firm.
• 40:40
  She was abused at one point in her life, and she's dealt with
• 40:46
  her own things over the time, including taking stuff out on
• 40:50
  us. But since then she's learned and
• 40:54
  apologized for all that. And it's like, hey, you're just
• 40:59
  dealing with your own stuff at the time.
• 41:02
  I'm not going to hold it against you on any of them.
• 41:06
  Right. I mean, it's good that people
• 41:08
  that, you know, have gone through that type of the thing
• 41:11
  with their life and have, you know, come to a point of, of
• 41:14
  realizing I was wrong, you know, and, and the, the, the first
• 41:17
  step to fixing or, or is, is to acknowledge, you know what I
• 41:22
  mean? Like I've got to acknowledge the
• 41:23
  fact that I was wrong before I can change anything about me.
• 41:28
  So it's a great start and it's a great step in the right
• 41:30
  direction. But like you said, you know,
• 41:33
  that doesn't change anything about what was done.
• 41:35
  It it that that happened. It still is part of the thing
• 41:38
  that was laid down in that. Well, that layer is still there,
• 41:43
  right? So what does that do?
• 41:44
  Does that does that now, you know, set the tone for the rest
• 41:51
  of the family to be forever doomed because of it?
• 41:55
  You know, and, and some people would say yes.
• 42:01
  I'm sorry. Go on.
• 42:02
  I was gonna say some people would say that.
• 42:03
  Yeah, it does, right? Like that's our family curse.
• 42:06
  And I go, what? You know, maybe it has been, but
• 42:11
  why does it have to continue? Tell me why.
• 42:12
  Why does it have to continue? Where?
• 42:15
  Where? Where are you just faded to suck
• 42:18
  at life because of what somebody else did, however close or far
• 42:22
  back down the line. Why is that now your destiny to
• 42:26
  suck at life or whatever? Why?
• 42:30
  Why can't you change it? Why can't you change it?
• 42:33
  Majority of that I find it's just people trying to find an
• 42:35
  excuse to not have to change. I mean, yeah, I did what a lot
• 42:40
  of my family did. I worked in New Orleans doing
• 42:44
  security in the Lower 9th Ward, where after dark, if you're in
• 42:52
  trouble, don't even bother calling the cops because they
• 42:54
  were going to show up. Oh, wow.
• 42:58
  And. They're like good luck, it's
• 43:01
  your problem. Yeah, for 12 hour shifts
• 43:05
  straight overnight from like 7 A 7:00 PM to 7:00 AMI mean it's
• 43:10
  complete overnight. And yeah, there's a lot of bad
• 43:15
  stuff that happened down there and had to do things that I was
• 43:24
  not prepared to do. However, how I handled myself
• 43:31
  and handled people down, there is no reason for me to go handle
• 43:34
  other people in in the same in life.
• 43:38
  Oh yeah, for sure. In other bad areas, such as a
• 43:42
  lot in Chicago or Hunts Point, New York or wherever, outside
• 43:52
  the Anheuser Busch area of Saint Louis, which is one of the major
• 43:58
  murder capitals of the entire country, or even being down in
• 44:01
  the water as Mexico, you don't do the same tactics anywhere
• 44:08
  else. It's like, yeah, if you're in a
• 44:10
  bad situation, you do what you have to, but don't bring that
• 44:14
  upon everyone else. Yeah, and you know, that's a,
• 44:17
  that's AI think that's a, a valid observation to make for
• 44:23
  folks that probably listen to this show or watch this show,
• 44:26
  people that work in any sort of law enforcement, corrections,
• 44:33
  EMT, security, a violent, violent atmosphere.
• 44:38
  Man, when you have a family to go home to, even if it's just
• 44:41
  yourself, 'cause I mean, let's not, let's not kid ourselves,
• 44:44
  right? Like if you don't have a wife
• 44:46
  and kids or whatever, like you still have yourself and you
• 44:49
  still have to interact with the public and you still have to
• 44:51
  deal with people in the world, you're you.
• 44:53
  And, and trust me, 'cause I, you know, I've worked in corrections
• 44:56
  and law enforcement and prisoner extradition.
• 44:58
  I get it. I know the stress that that type
• 45:01
  of work can put on somebody. And I've seen it because I've
• 45:06
  lived it. And I've, you know, struggled
• 45:09
  with that myself. Bringing that home, bringing
• 45:12
  that to my home in whatever, you know, whatever it was at the
• 45:16
  time, whether it was in a relationship or just me or my
• 45:18
  friends or whatever it can, it can trickle over into your other
• 45:24
  dealings. If if you don't mix it, don't
• 45:26
  mix well. No, no, I mean, exactly.
• 45:31
  You know, you, you will find yourself alone and angry very
• 45:36
  soon if you're not careful with how you're managing those
• 45:41
  things, you know? So for anybody that listens to
• 45:42
  this show or is working in those environments that knows, I mean,
• 45:45
  take care of yourself. Don't you know when you walk out
• 45:49
  of that compound, when you sign up for the day, whatever it's,
• 45:52
  you know, you got stuff that you carry with you, but but manage
• 45:55
  it health in a healthy way. Don't take it out on your loved
• 45:59
  ones. Don't take it out on yourself.
• 46:00
  Don't beat yourself up. You know, 'cause people, and I
• 46:03
  was one of them, you know, there for the time, you know, I would,
• 46:05
  I would go to, you know, substances, whether it was
• 46:08
  alcohol or whatever to manage these types of things.
• 46:12
  And you know, we got to be honest and say, you know, that's
• 46:15
  abuse to ourselves. We talk about abuse and and
• 46:17
  being victims of abuse. We can be our own worst abusers.
• 46:23
  That's. If you're living in New Orleans
• 46:25
  where 24 hour alcohol sales and every other house has party
• 46:33
  favors to. Yeah, it's like, it's like the,
• 46:37
  it's like the. Very easy down there.
• 46:42
  I'm still, I'm still talking. I I'll be right back.
• 46:45
  Yeah, yeah, it's like the Vegas of the South Down there, you
• 46:49
  know, I mean Bourbon Street, of course with Mardi Gras and all
• 46:52
  that. I mean, it's, it's a party
• 46:53
  culture. It's it's a it's, it's the, it's
• 46:57
  kind of the thing down there, I guess.
• 47:00
  I don't know, but it yeah, it's no matter where you are, I mean,
• 47:04
  it's, it's just something to kind of be aware of and, and to
• 47:10
  you're, you're, you're the product of your, but people are
• 47:14
  the product of their environment too, you know, So the more, the
• 47:21
  more that you're exposed to these sorts of things, I think
• 47:24
  the the higher chances of picking up on those bad habits,
• 47:32
  those tendencies, whatever there is, you know, when when you're,
• 47:35
  when you're living in that culture, living in that
• 47:37
  environment. Oh, it is.
• 47:40
  I mean, yeah, I'm a proof product of that.
• 47:47
  Especially when you live in a 24/7, the law party atmosphere
• 47:50
  where it's especially a place that's as violent as New
• 47:54
  Orleans. It's most people don't know
• 47:58
  about the amount of violence down there.
• 47:59
  And it's a good thing they don't know about it because of, yeah,
• 48:04
  it's really violent down there for me on a level most don't
• 48:10
  comprehend. Yeah, that's brutal.
• 48:13
  Have you have you, you know, from your experiences and from
• 48:17
  dealing with all these things, have you reached a point, have
• 48:19
  you found what you need to get to heal from, from, from, from
• 48:25
  that? And I say healing is like, it's,
• 48:27
  it's not like necessarily that you've, you know, that it, it's
• 48:32
  traumatic or whatever you heal from, but to, to, to get better,
• 48:35
  right? To, to, to get away from that
• 48:36
  sort of a lifestyle because it's so destructive.
• 48:38
  It's it. It can.
• 48:39
  Ruin you early on. Well, someone like me, I was the
• 48:44
  type. The bosses, every boss ever had
• 48:47
  loved me because regardless, no matter what, I could pull the 16
• 48:51
  hour shift. I'd be listening on the radio
• 48:54
  driving home automatically. They said someone didn't show up
• 48:56
  for work. I turned around and go right
• 48:58
  back to do that shift and then do my shift later that night.
• 49:01
  I did that for 10 plus years of my entire life.
• 49:06
  One thing I've learned is I need me time.
• 49:13
  Yeah, the money's great. But the truth is, and I'm
• 49:20
  working at Home Depot now, majority of jobs I ever had
• 49:23
  throughout my entire life was only $10.00 an hour.
• 49:26
  At Home Depot I'm being paid $18.00 an hour.
• 49:28
  And anytime they ask me, I'm like, Nope, I'm not coming in
• 49:31
  unless I really need the money. It's like, Nope, I'm not coming
• 49:33
  in. I'm staying at home.
• 49:36
  I'm doing my thing. You have to actually have your
• 49:40
  own alone time. I'm.
• 49:44
  Glad you said that, because some people I think.
• 49:46
  However, the other thing is honestly just balance of
• 49:53
  between, yeah, between this stuff and whatever else.
• 50:01
  Learn to know when to put something down, Yeah.
• 50:03
  And when to just honestly breathe.
• 50:08
  Yeah, and you know, I'm glad you brought that up too, because
• 50:12
  there was. And that may not be a lot of
• 50:18
  what people want to hear, but it's like you just have to find
• 50:20
  a balance in life to where you can do whatever.
• 50:25
  Don't fleet yourself entirely with chemicals and everything
• 50:31
  else. Yeah.
• 50:33
  Well, there, there there was two things about what you were
• 50:35
  saying that I was going to kind of key in on.
• 50:37
  I don't know too much on the what a lot of especially N
• 50:41
  heathens go evens go on about healing.
• 50:48
  I can't speak from that perspective but I mean to each
• 50:53
  your own. But on the whole, just learn to
• 50:56
  balance your life out. Right.
• 50:59
  Well, there's a, there's there. There was two things that I was
• 51:01
  going to key in. On help in one aspect, do what
• 51:05
  she needs you to do that. Yeah, yeah.
• 51:09
  Can you hear me by the way I'm talking?
• 51:13
  Can you hear me? Can anybody hear me?
• 51:18
  I am talking. Can you hear me?
• 51:22
  Am I audible? Hello.
• 51:25
  I don't. Know if you're there or not.
• 51:26
  You kind of froze. OK, All right, well, I am here.
• 51:31
  Hold on. Let's see here.
• 51:37
  Or if it's something on my end. Well, I'm here and I can hear
• 51:44
  John just fine. So hopefully this is just maybe
• 51:47
  something on his end where he's not hearing me because I was
• 51:50
  trying to say something and he's he was talking and that's fine.
• 51:56
  And you know, but like I was assuming he's going to refresh
• 52:00
  and he's going to come back in. So when, when he comes back,
• 52:05
  we'll, we'll kind of pick up the, the, the point of the
• 52:09
  conversation is, but he's bringing up some very relevant
• 52:13
  things to a lot of us. You know, we are in a society
• 52:17
  that a lot of different things are accessible to, to, to
• 52:21
  people. And when I say things, I mean
• 52:24
  like substances. Hey, John, welcome back.
• 52:29
  Can you hear me? All right.
• 52:31
  Yeah, I can hear you. OK, yeah.
• 52:33
  I don't know what was going on there.
• 52:34
  I I could hear you fine and I could see you fine.
• 52:37
  And I was, I was jumping in to say what I was going to say.
• 52:41
  And then you kept talking and I thought, well, all right, let
• 52:43
  you know, maybe there's a delay. He's not intentionally
• 52:46
  interrupting and I'm not trying to cut him off.
• 52:48
  But then I'm like, hey, can you hear?
• 52:50
  Me. All right, I'm back.
• 52:52
  Yeah. So there's there was two things
• 52:54
  I don't. Know how much of that was picked
• 52:55
  up? Oh wait, I picked everything up.
• 52:57
  We heard everything, but I think on your end it was.
• 53:02
  I wasn't coming through on your end, but everything was coming
• 53:04
  through on mine. So everything that you just said
• 53:07
  is good to that point. Welcome to Louisiana.
• 53:11
  The. Internet sucks.
• 53:14
  Well, I was gonna say that the there was two things about what
• 53:17
  you were saying that I wanted to key in on, one of which was when
• 53:19
  you talk about me time, right, and taking time to yourself.
• 53:24
  Don't you know, people can can, you know, think.
• 53:28
  Oh, well, that's being selfish. You know, I've got to be here
• 53:31
  for others. I got to No, you know, there's,
• 53:33
  there's a difference between taking care of yourself and
• 53:36
  self-care and selfishness. Now, in that light, you know,
• 53:43
  and you, as you're talking about, you know, enjoying a
• 53:45
  whiskey or drinking a beer or what have you.
• 53:50
  I do want to put it out here just for people to be cautious
• 53:53
  because so many things are accessible to us nowadays very
• 53:57
  easily. You know, it's, it's there's,
• 54:01
  you know, a handful of things that anybody can get their hand
• 54:04
  on at any given point in time to sort of quote, UN quote, deal
• 54:07
  with their stress or, or deal with life.
• 54:12
  And I just would again, it, it's, it's a very slippery
• 54:14
  slope. You know, some people can do
• 54:18
  like what we're doing, right? And, and, and have a drink or,
• 54:20
  or have a smoke or what have you.
• 54:23
  And, and that's part of their unwinding.
• 54:26
  That's part of their, their me time, you know, and, and it's
• 54:29
  fine. And there's other people who
• 54:30
  absolutely cannot and it destroys them and it destroys
• 54:33
  their families lives as well. However, remember people, we're
• 54:39
  40. I mean, for the younger viewers,
• 54:42
  we're 40. We've learned how to battle with
• 54:46
  our demons. If you want to actually want to
• 54:48
  put it in that terminology, There was a time I turned off
• 54:53
  for five plus years from alcohol and everything else because of
• 54:57
  yeah, I was having, I was diving into the substance abuse.
• 55:02
  So it's something I've come more back towards than continually my
• 55:08
  entire one. Yeah, yeah, I've done the same
• 55:12
  thing. I mean, I, you know, I have at
• 55:15
  different points in my life, I have come to, I'm, I've come
• 55:21
  very close to, you know, substance abuse, you know, where
• 55:24
  I was hiding alcohol and I was, you know, dismissing how much I
• 55:29
  was drinking and all of this stuff like the, the, the early
• 55:32
  signs of, of addiction and, and, and, and realizing that having
• 55:37
  first of all the people around me to show me like, hey, you
• 55:40
  realize that this is what's happening with you, 'cause if
• 55:42
  you don't and you're in denial, then you need to wake the fuck
• 55:45
  up, right? Like you need to realize that
• 55:47
  this is, this is what's happening.
• 55:49
  But nobody made me change that I did, I had to take the steps to
• 55:55
  do it. And that's, you know, what we go
• 55:57
  back to with things that happened throughout, you know,
• 56:01
  family lines and and generational things, you know,
• 56:05
  where, OK, so you know, for the last 152 hundred, 300, whatever
• 56:09
  years of my family's history, there's this repetitious cycle
• 56:13
  of crap. Well, that doesn't mean that I
• 56:17
  need to perpetuate that cycle. I can be the change, right?
• 56:21
  I can do the thing to change. I can end the curse, as it were.
• 56:27
  And there's an interesting point that I would like to maybe put
• 56:32
  out here for consideration too. When when we talk about
• 56:34
  generational, you know, trauma or, or family curses or things
• 56:39
  like that, you know, we're, we're, we're getting into
• 56:40
  territory that is very familiar to Norse pagans, heathens, you
• 56:45
  know, and other people of an, I mean, non traditional religious
• 56:49
  views of the world. And that is ancestral worship,
• 56:53
  ancestral veneration and recognizing our ancestors have a
• 56:59
  place in our lives to help to guide, to heal.
• 57:03
  And there was something that I saw that that a dear friend and
• 57:07
  brother of mine shared to not just me, but to, to some other
• 57:13
  peers of, of the community. And it was a post that was made.
• 57:17
  And it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a of Native American framework.
• 57:21
  OK, so when I what I'm about to read or what I'm about to say
• 57:24
  has a lot of that verbiage or a lot of that feel to it, but it
• 57:29
  resonates for anybody who holds an importance of ancestral
• 57:34
  veneration in their life. So what they said was that the
• 57:38
  elders tell us that it takes longer for us to heal today.
• 57:42
  And the reason is because the old trails our ancestors used to
• 57:47
  find us have been destroyed. So now our ancestors are having
• 57:53
  a hard time finding us to help us heal.
• 57:57
  And I thought, man, what a, what a powerful realization to come
• 58:02
  to and how this really speaks to the importance of nurturing our
• 58:10
  ancestral lines, keeping those, you know, those roads clean,
• 58:16
  maintaining the path for them to be able to help us, right?
• 58:20
  If that's something that we in, in any of our world views find
• 58:23
  important in that it's something that we're cultivating.
• 58:25
  And, and when working with, how much more important is it for us
• 58:30
  to stop this cycle of bad things, right?
• 58:35
  Be the change that we want to see and, and keep those roads
• 58:38
  clear so that way those ancestors can access us.
• 58:45
  You know what I mean? It's, it's, it was an
• 58:46
  interesting thing that I thought is, has relevancy to what we're
• 58:49
  talking about today because, you know, the, the, the things that
• 58:52
  happened, what, what has been laid down in Urd's well can't be
• 58:57
  unlaid. You know what I mean?
• 58:58
  They can't be removed. It's, it's there.
• 59:01
  So what do we do with it? Right?
• 59:07
  We got to do the work. We've got to be present, we have
• 59:12
  to be active with that. It's it's not going to change
• 59:14
  itself. If anything, it's going to
• 59:16
  continue on in the way that it's always that it always has.
• 59:21
  So yeah, I don't know if that if that like resonates with you or
• 59:25
  if that makes sense to you and in your world view of things and
• 59:29
  then how to kind of get through. Those I know, we're about 5 of
• 59:34
  the cemeteries my Lenny is was born in.
• 59:37
  One is here in town, Another one is in French settlement, which
• 59:41
  is about 50 miles from here. Another one is further South
• 59:46
  toward New Or there's two further South toward New
• 59:49
  Orleans, one in Donaldsonville, one in Geisburn.
• 59:54
  And then going into New Orleans, there's like 2 down there.
• 59:59
  I tried to at least once a year ago there and clean up the
• 1:00:03
  graves of my family down. And that is everything from weed
• 1:00:09
  eating to cleaners cleaning up the because here in Louisiana, a
• 1:00:16
  lot of our we have mausoleums and everything is concrete and
• 1:00:21
  marble above the ground. So go and try to clean
• 1:00:25
  everything up. And then I've done stuff as all
• 1:00:29
  around the the graves, planting seeds to actually bring local
• 1:00:38
  flowers and everything and grass back into the local area.
• 1:00:43
  Oh, that's good. That's good work, you know, and
• 1:00:46
  that's, that's, I think that's a beautiful part of, of, of, of
• 1:00:51
  maintaining and, and, and doing things that, that, that maintain
• 1:00:54
  clean, maintain cleanliness or, or a clean line between our
• 1:00:57
  ancestors, you know, keeping their, their resting places.
• 1:01:02
  Yeah. You know, looking good.
• 1:01:04
  Part is hauling a weed eater on a motorcycle.
• 1:01:08
  It's like a balancing act, right?
• 1:01:09
  Do you have to do you put on the back or do like?
• 1:01:12
  I crossed my back the entire time 'cause I was strap, so I
• 1:01:15
  just strap it across my back. But it's telescopic, so I'm able
• 1:01:19
  to bring the neck down to make it a little easier.
• 1:01:23
  Oh, a telescopic weed eater. That's pretty innovative.
• 1:01:27
  Who makes those? I never.
• 1:01:28
  You you can buy them online. Oh, really?
• 1:01:32
  Yeah. Oh, that's, that's crazy.
• 1:01:36
  I'm just picturing, I'm just picturing seeing a guy drive
• 1:01:38
  down on it. And I you would see it here in
• 1:01:40
  Murfreesboro. You would see it, you would see
• 1:01:41
  some crazy stuff like that, like a full, like a full like steel
• 1:01:45
  or or Honda, you know, weed eater literally like strapped
• 1:01:48
  across the back like some kind of like Cortana.
• 1:01:52
  People would do something like. That there's motorcycle I'm on
• 1:01:54
  doing all that. Nice, that's a short looking
• 1:01:59
  ride. What?
• 1:02:00
  What's the model your model it? It's a 96 Honda 600 VLX.
• 1:02:10
  It's hard failed. So there is no shocks in the
• 1:02:12
  back. So whatever potholes you get and
• 1:02:14
  then. You feel it?
• 1:02:15
  Yeah. Louisiana.
• 1:02:16
  You know the potholes. Here.
• 1:02:17
  Oh my gods, dude, it's I thought, man, I thought, you
• 1:02:22
  know, I thought Murfreesboro or, or you know, the Long Island
• 1:02:25
  Expressway had bad roads, man, Louisiana.
• 1:02:28
  They don't even know. It's like just they say fuck it,
• 1:02:30
  I guess. I don't know.
• 1:02:31
  They don't they have no, but do you not have like a ADOT or
• 1:02:34
  anything down there to to maintain the roads or just they
• 1:02:37
  don't care? Down here, you have to remember,
• 1:02:41
  before they built levees, you had the Mississippi River, which
• 1:02:45
  put silt upon everything. Oh, yeah.
• 1:02:48
  And that's the reason behind New Orleans while it's sinking is
• 1:02:51
  because all that silt is finally starting to compact down over
• 1:02:55
  100 years on not having fresh silt.
• 1:02:59
  So everything's below sea law. And you've been on the levees in
• 1:03:02
  New Orleans by the French Quarter.
• 1:03:06
  Yeah. The river is literally like 10
• 1:03:09
  feet above the the ground. Yeah.
• 1:03:15
  I mean, it's like, yeah, no, when that's how high up the
• 1:03:19
  ground is actually supposed to be.
• 1:03:21
  When that's crazy when you think about that.
• 1:03:24
  But like, yeah, I remember, you know, going down there first
• 1:03:27
  couple of times and just realizing like coming across I
• 1:03:31
  think it's I-10 across Mississippi into Louisiana and
• 1:03:35
  you're like, but but like to to get to like New Orleans like
• 1:03:37
  you're over water. I no, that's I-55. 55, thank
• 1:03:41
  you. Yeah, not ten, but like when you
• 1:03:43
  get into Louisiana, you're going at like cross to to New Orleans
• 1:03:46
  and you're over like you're on that bridge for like, what is it
• 1:03:50
  20 miles or longer, 50? Miles.
• 1:03:52
  Yeah, like 25 miles. 25 miles. You talking about the
• 1:03:54
  concentrate, the Causeway or are you talking about the I-55
• 1:03:57
  bridge? I think it's the is it the
• 1:04:01
  Causeway where it's, you know, you're literally over water for.
• 1:04:06
  27 miles. 27 miles, something like that, yeah.
• 1:04:10
  That's the Causeway, yeah. Yeah, like I was blowing my
• 1:04:14
  mind. I'm like, I have not touched
• 1:04:15
  land yet. I'm on this bridge.
• 1:04:16
  And like, there's no, no, you're, you're just and and my
• 1:04:20
  wife. You don't see any land
• 1:04:22
  whatsoever. It literally feels like you're
• 1:04:24
  out in over the ocean. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:04:26
  Going across that in the middle of the night, kind of.
• 1:04:29
  Freaky. Oh yeah.
• 1:04:30
  Yeah. I'll ride it on a motorcycle at
• 1:04:32
  100 miles an hour. That's got to be exhilarating.
• 1:04:36
  Oh drive it out of I was in New Orleans or Katrina.
• 1:04:40
  Ride it out of New Orleans with a fucking hurricane pouring on
• 1:04:44
  you on a motorcycle. Yeah, just hoping, hoping you
• 1:04:49
  don't get you just chucked off the side into the into the
• 1:04:53
  abyss. Yeah.
• 1:04:56
  My wife had. I don't know, maybe the water
• 1:04:58
  was then safer than being on the bridge.
• 1:05:00
  I don't know. I mean at six to one, half a
• 1:05:03
  dozen the other. My wife, she, she, she, she does
• 1:05:06
  not like driving over bridges that, you know, that go over
• 1:05:11
  water, over big spans of water. And she was like, oh, I've
• 1:05:13
  always wanted to go to, you know, Louisiana and go to like,
• 1:05:17
  you know, the, the voodoo shops in the French Quarter and see
• 1:05:21
  all that, you know, stuff down there.
• 1:05:23
  And I'm like, you realize that to get there, you know, you're
• 1:05:27
  gonna. Yeah.
• 1:05:30
  Airline Highway is the only Rd. that is dry land, that River Rd.
• 1:05:34
  are the only two dry lands, and that swamp, yeah, it could be
• 1:05:39
  here one minute, on the next. The rest of the time you're on
• 1:05:42
  bridges getting out of. And I started showing her the,
• 1:05:46
  the, you know, on the map and then like pulling up Google
• 1:05:48
  images of it all. And she's like, I'm like, yeah,
• 1:05:51
  there's no, there's no way to avoid it.
• 1:05:53
  Like, you know, you can't find an alternative route.
• 1:05:56
  It's it's just flying. At that.
• 1:05:58
  Point yeah, I mean, you know, and she has to think about
• 1:06:01
  flying too, so I'm like, well, listen, you got to pick pick
• 1:06:03
  one. It's it's you know, you're
• 1:06:04
  either gonna you're either gonna, you know, medicate
• 1:06:08
  heavily before the flight or have somebody else drive you
• 1:06:12
  over the bridge while you're zonked out in the back because
• 1:06:14
  you don't want to see it. Like pick one, it's it's one of
• 1:06:17
  the. That's usually why I drank a
• 1:06:20
  case of beer and a half a bottle one O 1 before I get on a plane
• 1:06:24
  the night before and I'm up for at least 24 hours because I hate
• 1:06:28
  flying. It's like yeah I got on a plane,
• 1:06:30
  I want to sleep. If it's going to crash and burn,
• 1:06:33
  I'd rather be asleep. Right.
• 1:06:35
  Yeah, that's not, that's usually not something you're going to
• 1:06:38
  walk away from anyway, so you might as well be unconscious for
• 1:06:41
  the for the event. Oh yeah.
• 1:06:44
  But yeah, what else there was there was a couple other things
• 1:06:49
  too that I was thinking of. When you talk about like looking
• 1:06:55
  at like cultural examples of what might be considered curses
• 1:06:58
  or, or something that likes treated like a curse, you have
• 1:07:02
  the whole like knee thing. You know about that in like
• 1:07:06
  Germanic law or Germanic settings, you know the the pre
• 1:07:11
  Christian knee thing Where where where you could basically curse,
• 1:07:18
  put a curse on either people or on, you know, the land even.
• 1:07:24
  Oh yeah, I've had, I've had that happen to me multiple times.
• 1:07:29
  One thing I've noticed is I've had people put along is he or I
• 1:07:35
  don't know if you're familiar with hungry spirits.
• 1:07:40
  Like, like hungry as in like they're they're Hungarian or
• 1:07:44
  they are hungry as in like they're gonna eat.
• 1:07:46
  You feeding? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're gonna
• 1:07:47
  eat. You.
• 1:07:48
  Yeah. Japanese hungry spirits.
• 1:07:50
  Oh. That's one, yeah.
• 1:07:52
  Yeah, I forgot what the terminology is, but you have to
• 1:07:56
  learn the Japanese way of actually.
• 1:08:04
  Like getting rid of them. Protecting yourself from that.
• 1:08:07
  I've had that happen to me several times.
• 1:08:09
  I've had people sick, all types of stuff on me really.
• 1:08:14
  It's regardless in the end it's not even manner of doing
• 1:08:18
  everything, but I've had the number one deity I've had to go
• 1:08:23
  to on dealing with stuff and that I actually get results out
• 1:08:28
  of almost instantaneous hecate. I've heard that too.
• 1:08:35
  Much I have not had much experience.
• 1:08:39
  Thor is about the only one and maybe Brea but that's still up
• 1:08:44
  for debate. I never really had too much walk
• 1:08:50
  if you want to call it that with dealing with the Norse gods.
• 1:08:57
  I know they exist because I have seen effects from them, but the
• 1:09:03
  two deities I find the most effects from when I ask for
• 1:09:07
  anything is Hecope and Hermes, which I've been told by several
• 1:09:12
  people that Hermes is actually my father.
• 1:09:19
  So I don't know. I've heard that from a couple of
• 1:09:22
  people, but that's something I really need to delve into to
• 1:09:27
  actually see if they're actually telling me the truth or
• 1:09:29
  whatever. Hermes now that's what, Greek or
• 1:09:36
  or Roman? Yeah, Greek, but there's also
• 1:09:39
  rumors that it's actually taught from the Egyptian pantheon.
• 1:09:46
  So yeah, it's also Hecate is also great.
• 1:09:52
  Hecate is also. Greek, but there's rumors that
• 1:09:56
  she originated in Egypt. I was about to say kinetic I
• 1:10:01
  think is the the term for Egyptian paganism.
• 1:10:08
  Yeah, Hermes is the he was a like a messenger.
• 1:10:13
  Yeah, he's a Messenger of the Gods, which also had luck with
• 1:10:17
  Papa Light book from the Haitian one.
• 1:10:21
  I tend to do very well with Messengers of gods.
• 1:10:25
  The only deity from the Norse belief that I've actually
• 1:10:30
  actually gotten any form of results from would be Heimdall.
• 1:10:36
  OK, well, given, given the I guess closeness that you feel
• 1:10:43
  towards these messenger type figures and in their in in their
• 1:10:49
  pantheons. I mean, Heimdall does.
• 1:10:52
  I wouldn't say necessarily a messenger of the gods, but he is
• 1:10:58
  the watchman. You know what I mean?
• 1:10:59
  Like he, he sees all, he hears all.
• 1:11:01
  He's kind of that they're all mediators and big ears, you
• 1:11:07
  know, like, yeah, he's, he's, he's, you know, very, very
• 1:11:09
  little known about him. He's, you know, the son of nine
• 1:11:12
  mothers and that whole thing. Like who is this guy, you know,
• 1:11:15
  very mysterious. But that's interesting that you
• 1:11:21
  say that because I know you're in, you're in Louisiana.
• 1:11:26
  So you mentioned Haitian, a Haitian deity or Haitian spirit.
• 1:11:31
  So is that? Yeah.
• 1:11:33
  Is, is is that rooted in African folklore or African mysticism?
• 1:11:40
  Yeah, but it's mixed with with Catholicism.
• 1:11:47
  So really on the whole, it's a mix between African and I'd have
• 1:11:52
  to say the closest deity here. Well, the two closest deities
• 1:11:57
  would be either in Catholic view would be Saint Peter or Gabriel
• 1:12:04
  the Archangel. Interesting.
• 1:12:07
  Which I'm still, I don't know how that works.
• 1:12:11
  I'm not trying to figure that out.
• 1:12:14
  It's just like, OK, this works. I'm going to go with that,
• 1:12:18
  right? That's wild because I never knew
• 1:12:21
  that the Haitian beliefs had, you know, incorporated a mix of
• 1:12:27
  Pagan and then Catholicism, which funny enough, like I've,
• 1:12:30
  I've, I've, I've made jokes, I've said before, like people
• 1:12:33
  that listen to me, nobody followed me for any length of
• 1:12:35
  time I've said it. You know, the Catholics are,
• 1:12:38
  they're just pagans in denial. Oh, yeah, they are.
• 1:12:41
  Yeah. And my father's a grand knight
• 1:12:43
  and the Knights of Columbus. So it's like you're telling me
• 1:12:46
  you don't believe. And I, I don't say this to him
• 1:12:49
  because of, yeah, no, you want to start a shit storm up.
• 1:12:53
  Yeah, start this up. But it's like, you do realize
• 1:12:57
  you're no different than the Masonics or the Jews that
• 1:13:01
  practice Solomonic magic or anything else.
• 1:13:04
  It's like, yeah, y'all's rituals are straight from Egypt and
• 1:13:08
  Samaria. Yeah.
• 1:13:11
  But yeah, like I said, I don't mention that too long because
• 1:13:13
  it's like I would like to keep a little bit of my family cohesion
• 1:13:18
  together, not alienate everyone in my family.
• 1:13:24
  Yeah, like just throw the match in, in into the haystack and
• 1:13:27
  then. Walk.
• 1:13:28
  Yeah. And I'm notorious and you can
• 1:13:31
  ask my family. I'm notorious over basically
• 1:13:34
  being like the Joker, where it's like you give me a pile of cast.
• 1:13:37
  So I'm going to light it on fire and just like, yeah, I'm going
• 1:13:41
  to. I'm going to burn it because of
• 1:13:44
  you expect me not to. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:13:48
  It's hard not to do when that's what you're used to.
• 1:13:53
  Yeah, yeah. I mean, like, you know, it's
• 1:13:55
  I've, I, I get that. I, I can appreciate that kind of
• 1:13:58
  a, of a mentality or a feeling because I have, I, I, you know,
• 1:14:04
  I guess over the years of, of me trying to figure out where my
• 1:14:08
  place is in the world and waking up to certain truths and, and
• 1:14:13
  finding what my truth is and finding my place.
• 1:14:17
  I've gone through that existence of that, that, that point of
• 1:14:21
  like, I just don't really care who I piss off in the process.
• 1:14:26
  And, and being that sort of brute, you know, uncaring type
• 1:14:31
  of a person. And it, you know, it, like I
• 1:14:34
  said before, it, it, it definitely puts damage on
• 1:14:37
  relationships. It, it hurts people
• 1:14:39
  unnecessarily. And I've taken a different
• 1:14:42
  approach on things. You know, I've, I've, I'm kind
• 1:14:46
  of at a point in my life now where I'm not taking any shit.
• 1:14:52
  You know what I mean? I'm not, I'm not going to just
• 1:14:54
  be passive. And, but I also realized that
• 1:14:59
  everybody's going through something.
• 1:15:01
  And a lot of times we find ourselves in a situation with
• 1:15:06
  especially our families where we are the, the closest thing that
• 1:15:12
  they have in their life. And so we're going to get the
• 1:15:16
  heaviest part of the blow. Oh, we're.
• 1:15:19
  Going to be scapegoats. We're going to be the ones that
• 1:15:22
  get the the heaviest swing, the initial, you know, strike is
• 1:15:26
  going to hit us first. Yeah.
• 1:15:28
  So like you said, we're going to be the scapegoats and to not
• 1:15:31
  take it so personally, realize that, you know, this is largely
• 1:15:35
  due to pain. It's it's you know, they they
• 1:15:37
  it's a it's a response to hurt. So, so their anger, they're,
• 1:15:40
  they're, they're, they're lashing out in ways that are how
• 1:15:46
  they're just, this is how they're dealing with it.
• 1:15:49
  And it may not be the best way, the right way.
• 1:15:51
  It's just how they're dealing with it.
• 1:15:52
  So how do we respond to those things?
• 1:15:55
  And this goes back to what we say before about, you know, the,
• 1:15:58
  the curse line of, of the line of curses in a family.
• 1:16:01
  OK, Well, if everybody up to this point has reacted because
• 1:16:05
  of something and responded to it in, in a violent or or a, you
• 1:16:10
  know, destructive way, it's perpetuating the cycle.
• 1:16:13
  It's continuing this, this, you know, series of events.
• 1:16:17
  So realize that, recognize that and go, well, let's, let's this
• 1:16:23
  hasn't this isn't working, you know what I mean?
• 1:16:24
  This isn't doing anything good for the family going forward.
• 1:16:28
  So let's make a change and let's be let let us be the change.
• 1:16:31
  Whether anybody else picks up on that or adopts it, we can at
• 1:16:36
  least be the ones to be that change, you know, And I think
• 1:16:42
  that when we do, I don't know how you how you feel about it.
• 1:16:46
  I think when we become the change that we want to see,
• 1:16:51
  it's, it's not about trying to impress, It's not about trying
• 1:16:54
  to like recruit people on our side.
• 1:16:59
  But what naturally happens is people who are in alignment with
• 1:17:03
  that goodness come into our lives and, and then they become
• 1:17:07
  part of that movement and they become part of that 'cause
• 1:17:09
  that's what they're in line with too.
• 1:17:11
  So there's this commonality and the other parts just, you know,
• 1:17:16
  it, it, it, it, it like it that, that, that the hold that that
• 1:17:20
  negativity had on that line before starts to weaken.
• 1:17:24
  It starts to lessen its grip because it doesn't have anything
• 1:17:27
  to hold on to anymore. We're not feeding that entropic,
• 1:17:32
  you know, attitude. We're not feeding that decay,
• 1:17:38
  that rot any longer. We're, we're, we're, we're
• 1:17:40
  cutting ourselves away from it. We're walking away from it and
• 1:17:43
  we're doing something better in the interim.
• 1:17:45
  So I don't know if that if that is something that you can find a
• 1:17:53
  new sort of relation with and, and, and how you navigated those
• 1:17:56
  waters with your own stuff, or if that means anything to you in
• 1:18:00
  that way. But I thought that it was worth
• 1:18:03
  saying. I mean, my father raised me on
• 1:18:05
  the basis of being a Marine, becoming a Marine, and my
• 1:18:12
  mentality 18 was I signed up for the Marines 2 weeks after 911
• 1:18:21
  and my whole idea was I was not planning on seeing the age of
• 1:18:25
  20, I was planning on going and dying in combat.
• 1:18:30
  Was that that's what you wanted? That's what I viewed as that's
• 1:18:34
  my whole point in life. I'm going to go and die in
• 1:18:38
  combat. And I was, I was not following
• 1:18:41
  Norse belief on that. So nothing of Valhalla to the
• 1:18:45
  end or anything like that. I just viewed that was my whole
• 1:18:48
  point in life was I'll die in combat and everything in my
• 1:18:53
  life, money monetary wise will go to my family.
• 1:19:01
  So throughout my teenagehood, that's honestly the belief I
• 1:19:05
  had. I, I did not make it.
• 1:19:12
  Well, I'm not going to say unfortunately, but I did not
• 1:19:14
  make it through Marine boot camp.
• 1:19:16
  I ended up screwed up and medically discharged and since
• 1:19:22
  then I pretty much got a motorcycle as soon as I got out
• 1:19:26
  and traveled all around the country.
• 1:19:29
  Yeah. And my father has understood
• 1:19:33
  over the last since me and my father has not become close
• 1:19:37
  since until the last five plus years.
• 1:19:41
  So then he expected me to be 90 to nothing, just beat the
• 1:19:48
  pavement, do whatever you have to.
• 1:19:50
  And he realized that five years ago, I was literally going
• 1:19:56
  absolutely nuts. I was literally on the edge of
• 1:20:02
  complete psychotic break. And he's realized that it's
• 1:20:08
  like, yeah, no, that's not the way to push people.
• 1:20:13
  I see. Yeah, 'cause I mean when you
• 1:20:16
  said that I'm. Sorry, going Oh, I.
• 1:20:19
  Didn't mean to cut you off. Not a.
• 1:20:22
  Problem. Well, I mean, what I was going
• 1:20:25
  to say is that the hearing you talk about, you know, you had
• 1:20:28
  this, this idea that you're gonna, you know, go into the
• 1:20:32
  military and that would be your ticket out in a way.
• 1:20:38
  Like that would be like, I'm gonna that's this is it.
• 1:20:40
  I'm gonna die in the service of whatever.
• 1:20:43
  And, and then it's over and my money and all the, you know, all
• 1:20:47
  that goes to the family and I'm and now that that's it.
• 1:20:50
  And it almost sounds like, and, and, and if, if I'm wrong, let
• 1:20:52
  me know. But it almost sounds like when
• 1:20:54
  that didn't work out, you, you you pursued another alternative
• 1:20:58
  for a similar end, maybe without the money or the anything to go
• 1:21:03
  with the family. But it was like you were, you
• 1:21:04
  were, you were, you were looking for this ticket out.
• 1:21:10
  Yeah, if I could say that or if you could say that.
• 1:21:14
  I cannot argue against that basis.
• 1:21:21
  Like I said, I bought a motorcycle and started traveling
• 1:21:23
  all over the country. I went to Phoenix 1st and.
• 1:21:26
  But you've lived a rough life too along the way.
• 1:21:29
  Like not just not just moving or traveling, like your life.
• 1:21:33
  I was being kind of. Like on the whole, yeah, no, I
• 1:21:42
  mean, it's just been life. It's been my life.
• 1:21:44
  I don't feel it as, oh, it's rougher than other people.
• 1:21:47
  When I was younger I was full of young, young, dumb and full of
• 1:21:56
  whatever else and arrogant as hell and no and water as
• 1:22:06
  fighting people. And which is do you not?
• 1:22:11
  I do not advise anyone go to water as and go fight people.
• 1:22:16
  No one wants to go to Mexican jail.
• 1:22:19
  No, do not go to Mexican jail. I have never been to Mexican
• 1:22:22
  jail except to visit people. But yeah, no, do not go to
• 1:22:25
  Mexican jail. No, it ain't.
• 1:22:28
  No, no. It ain't even the Motel 6.
• 1:22:33
  No, it's not even the POS or Holiday Inn that the gangsters
• 1:22:38
  stay out. No, go to Mexican jail.
• 1:22:42
  No, just don't. Yeah, no, don't.
• 1:22:48
  But when I was younger I was reckless as hell and didn't
• 1:22:51
  care. Like I said, I was basically on
• 1:22:55
  the level of a death wish. It's but as I've gone along,
• 1:23:03
  it's like especially after I broke my leg, broke both bones
• 1:23:08
  in my right leg and now it's all 100% plated and and it's screwed
• 1:23:13
  together. Life really tends to change on
• 1:23:18
  you on that point. And believe me, no one wanted to
• 1:23:23
  be around me for that year of transformation because I went
• 1:23:27
  into that kick and it's screaming the entire way.
• 1:23:32
  What was the turning point for you to kind of realize that this
• 1:23:36
  whole, I don't know, lifestyle of violence and revelry and
• 1:23:43
  debauchery and all of that like that, that just wasn't it
• 1:23:47
  anymore. Like the was there, was there a
• 1:23:48
  point in your life that it kind of clicked and said?
• 1:23:52
  Oh, I'm still on the Oh yeah, I find a person.
• 1:23:57
  I've been celibate and been to myself for two plus years, which
• 1:24:02
  is I'm not saying I was AI was running all over the place doing
• 1:24:09
  whatever with people. But this is the honestly the
• 1:24:13
  most I've gone along without, let's just say human connection
• 1:24:20
  in my entire life and for two plus years.
• 1:24:30
  I've learned a lot and I've had to tone down a lot of how I am,
• 1:24:41
  which on the whole people around me are happier, my family's
• 1:24:44
  happier and everything so. Are you happier as a result of
• 1:24:48
  it? Yes or no?
• 1:24:55
  Yeah, I'm happy about it, really.
• 1:24:59
  It's I miss having someone that was uninhibited, let's put it
• 1:25:06
  that way. I miss that aspect.
• 1:25:08
  But on the whole I am better. It's just been a slow rise from
• 1:25:15
  the asses. Sure, right, 'cause when you've,
• 1:25:19
  when you've adopted a lifestyle for so long and that becomes
• 1:25:21
  kind of the status quo to any sort of change, the opposite of
• 1:25:26
  that would, I think take some adjustment.
• 1:25:30
  But you know, and I, and I've, you know, it's interesting to
• 1:25:32
  ask, you know, are you happy with, with yourself about it?
• 1:25:36
  And cause I've been asked, you know, am I happy in my response
• 1:25:38
  to that question when I'm asked, you know, am I happy?
• 1:25:42
  Is, you know, sometimes I am and sometimes I'm not because that's
• 1:25:46
  what life's about. It's I'm not, I'm not in this
• 1:25:48
  constant state of ha, ha, ha, happy, smiley, whatever.
• 1:25:51
  No, man, sometimes there are, there are times when I am sad.
• 1:25:54
  There are times when I am grieved.
• 1:25:56
  There are times when I am happy, but I'm not, I'm not doing what
• 1:26:00
  I'm doing in life to find happiness.
• 1:26:03
  I'm not in the pursuit of happiness.
• 1:26:04
  I'm in the pursuit of peace. Because I feel like if, if you
• 1:26:08
  can be at peace, if you could find what that means, then
• 1:26:13
  anything can happen to you. You can have occurrences in your
• 1:26:16
  life that bring you happiness, joy, sadness, anger, grief,
• 1:26:20
  right? Various parts of the human
• 1:26:22
  emotional experiences that no matter what, you can still be at
• 1:26:26
  peace with them and find peace with them because you've learned
• 1:26:31
  how to be present with all of those things.
• 1:26:35
  You learn how to welcome in the sadness and sit with those
• 1:26:39
  feelings. You've learned how to confront
• 1:26:41
  the anger and not let it control you.
• 1:26:44
  You've learned how to sit with depression.
• 1:26:48
  Even like all these various things that come through our
• 1:26:50
  human experience that you know, it's not about trying to like
• 1:26:56
  avoid them or or, or go get away from them.
• 1:27:00
  It's about coexisting with them to the degrees that we allow it
• 1:27:07
  and, and being aware in that. So like when I asked, I, you
• 1:27:12
  know, are you happy with it? I guess it's, it's more of a
• 1:27:14
  question of are you at peace and are you, are you content with
• 1:27:18
  realizing that? Yeah, I, I did all these things
• 1:27:22
  and it got me to this point in my life now.
• 1:27:24
  But it's not it's not the the the the the constant path, the
• 1:27:28
  continuous path to stay on kind of thing.
• 1:27:33
  All I. Said it's a matter of
• 1:27:34
  contentment, not happy, because happy is an emotion and emotions
• 1:27:40
  are fleeting and automatic depression, depressive with
• 1:27:44
  multiple personality disorders. So I can switch from one
• 1:27:48
  mentality to another pretty much simultaneously.
• 1:27:52
  And people have seen it where it's like, yeah, we're out there
• 1:27:54
  having fun and all of a sudden the next minute is I'm ready.
• 1:27:57
  I'm crawling off the walls and ready to go fight everyone.
• 1:28:03
  So that's also that's. Consider that's just my own, my
• 1:28:07
  own baggage, so I have to keep in line and keep in check
• 1:28:11
  because of for that base. Well, I mean, it's brief to even
• 1:28:16
  talk about it to for, you know, I'll just say this much for you,
• 1:28:20
  man to to come onto a show or come onto any sort of platform
• 1:28:23
  and to talk about things like you just talked about.
• 1:28:28
  I mean, big, big ups. It's, it's, it's, it's a brave
• 1:28:32
  thing to to talk about that type of thing.
• 1:28:34
  I really do appreciate it, but honestly, I've been through the
• 1:28:37
  Ranger so much, it's like, honestly, I've never really held
• 1:28:43
  back on how I am. So if I'm going to create
• 1:28:46
  enemies, it's like, hey, bring it along.
• 1:28:49
  I hope I don't create enemies, but.
• 1:28:52
  Yeah, not an intention. If they're going to come,
• 1:28:55
  they're going to come. And you know what?
• 1:28:56
  I'll take you head on whenever you come at me.
• 1:29:00
  Yeah. Well, that's another thing too
• 1:29:02
  is I have realized because one of my biggest things for for me
• 1:29:09
  as a, as an individual growing has been to learn not to live in
• 1:29:16
  such a way where that is trying to live up to the expectation of
• 1:29:21
  others, right. It is to be my true self and to
• 1:29:26
  find what that is and to and to better that and to better that
• 1:29:30
  version of me. And, and in the process, one of
• 1:29:34
  these things that I've learned as well is that when you do
• 1:29:38
  that, when you align with with that truth, with, with your
• 1:29:41
  truth, and you become the best version of you, there is going
• 1:29:45
  to be people who applaud you and that and that are that are with
• 1:29:49
  you in that. And there's also going to be
• 1:29:51
  people who don't and then they, they won't be with you in that
• 1:29:54
  and and they'll, they'll, they'll hate you for it even
• 1:29:58
  they'll, they'll be bitter towards you for it.
• 1:30:00
  And, but guess what? That's not my problem.
• 1:30:03
  I don't care. It doesn't matter 'cause it
• 1:30:05
  doesn't, I'm not trying to please you anymore.
• 1:30:07
  And if you don't like it, that's OK.
• 1:30:08
  I don't care. Sit with that and, and, and live
• 1:30:12
  with that. It's not my problem.
• 1:30:13
  Not my chair, not my problem. So, you know, if you ever, if,
• 1:30:18
  if that person ever wants to, you know, talk about it and, and
• 1:30:21
  work through it, I'll, I'll give them the space, but I'm also not
• 1:30:24
  going to, I'm not, I'm not going to compromise my peace for
• 1:30:28
  anybody else, you know, and if that means I have to let
• 1:30:32
  something die, this is also kind of part of, of, of the topic a
• 1:30:36
  bit as well. I think, John, is that, you
• 1:30:39
  know, at what point do we realize that in order for
• 1:30:42
  something to heal, for a curse to be lifted, something has to
• 1:30:45
  be laid to rest, Something has to die, something has to be put
• 1:30:50
  because it no longer serves that purpose.
• 1:30:52
  Something has to be, you know, vanquished even.
• 1:30:55
  And, and, and that for me is, is this, you know, for me, it was,
• 1:31:01
  it was I no longer am going to be confined or bound or
• 1:31:06
  imprisoned by this idea that I need to please everybody or even
• 1:31:12
  please. That 15 years ago, I mean.
• 1:31:15
  Right. Yeah.
• 1:31:17
  I mean, like live it, live it in the mosh, you know, it's, it's
• 1:31:23
  life's a mosh pit if anything, you know, if you want to get
• 1:31:25
  like compare that sort of a thing, it is, it's, you know.
• 1:31:30
  Life is a struggle and it's a fight and.
• 1:31:33
  You got to keep your chin up, your chin down, head down, and
• 1:31:36
  just kind of muscle through it, man.
• 1:31:38
  Sometimes you got to take a look or two or three or nine.
• 1:31:42
  Not saying that's what people need to adopt in their life of
• 1:31:45
  be ready to fight everyone however.
• 1:31:48
  No, no, but but. What their life is.
• 1:31:51
  I mean, listen, life's not easy and it's not kind to anybody.
• 1:31:55
  It's, you know, it's so so life is, you know, you're going to
• 1:31:58
  suffer. This is a reality.
• 1:31:59
  This is a truth. This is a universal truth.
• 1:32:02
  You will, you will struggle in life and you will suffer.
• 1:32:05
  So yeah, you. Will how entitled the death and
• 1:32:09
  tax system in life I mean. Right, Yeah, I mean that's.
• 1:32:12
  Happiness, relationships, that's all on you.
• 1:32:15
  Until then, it's that's all you're entitled to is death and
• 1:32:18
  taxes I. Mean and really one of those
• 1:32:22
  things can be avoided too, if you want to get down to brass
• 1:32:24
  tacks. But you know the other one
• 1:32:28
  that's. Not trying to load forever.
• 1:32:30
  There is, but you know I go when you know I go.
• 1:32:34
  This, this, this idea of, you know, struggle and, and, and
• 1:32:40
  suffering and realizing that that is a truth, that is a
• 1:32:42
  reality. So what are we going to do with
• 1:32:46
  our time with our life to like prepare our ourselves and
• 1:32:51
  condition ourselves for that reality 'cause if you just go
• 1:32:54
  through life hoping for it not to happen, I'm sorry, but I've
• 1:32:58
  got to, I've got to break it to you.
• 1:32:59
  It's. Gonna come back.
• 1:33:01
  It's gonna be way worse for you when it does.
• 1:33:04
  Yeah, it's gonna kick your ass way worse.
• 1:33:06
  Oh yeah. So, so realize that at some
• 1:33:10
  point it's inevitable and and and sometimes more than than you
• 1:33:13
  than you want, because that's just how it goes.
• 1:33:17
  What are you doing to to condition yourself, to prepare
• 1:33:20
  yourself to deal with it? And that's a question that
• 1:33:25
  really, you know, we can give our own respective examples, but
• 1:33:32
  the the, it's not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing
• 1:33:35
  either. Yeah.
• 1:33:38
  There might be principles or or mandates that one could follow
• 1:33:41
  to help along that way, but ultimately it's, you know, it's
• 1:33:46
  your path, it's your walk, it's your, it's your mosh pit, you
• 1:33:51
  know? Yeah.
• 1:33:52
  I mean, yeah, I prefer debauchery and hallucinogens,
• 1:33:55
  but that don't work too well so. Hunter S Thompson over here.
• 1:34:02
  Oh yeah, he makes a beast out himself, gets rid of a pain of
• 1:34:06
  being a man, I mean. And that's your, I mean, that's
• 1:34:12
  your reality, That's your, that's just, that's been so much
• 1:34:14
  of your life. Maybe not for others, but it's a
• 1:34:16
  it's a choice. And reality, you don't turn out
• 1:34:19
  that well, so. Well, you've made that reality.
• 1:34:22
  We we become what we create. Yeah, but then there comes the
• 1:34:26
  point of your reality starts getting beat against what's
• 1:34:31
  actual reality. Once you get.
• 1:34:35
  Over the end of 35 I've noticed it really starts kicking you in
• 1:34:38
  the ass, which a lot of occultists that deal with, a lot
• 1:34:44
  Enochian and a lot of Solomonic magic say that's Saturn coming
• 1:34:50
  into. Who's the Grim Reaper?
• 1:34:53
  The one who is nothing but laws actually coming into your life
• 1:34:56
  so you can find it all you want, but in the end reality is coming
• 1:35:01
  in and kicking you in the ass. Yeah, you can.
• 1:35:04
  You can. You can live the illusion for
• 1:35:07
  only so long. Yeah.
• 1:35:11
  I kind of like the illusion I always had, but it's not really
• 1:35:14
  working out too well in. Reality.
• 1:35:16
  Who wouldn't, right? I mean, who wouldn't enjoy the
• 1:35:21
  the facade? You know what I mean?
• 1:35:24
  It's, you know, Pleasure Island. It's great in the moment, but
• 1:35:28
  then you know, you eventually you become the ass.
• 1:35:31
  When you live off hallucinogens, it's not exactly Fantasy Island
• 1:35:35
  anymore. It's turning more into a island
• 1:35:39
  of Doctor Moreau as you go along.
• 1:35:43
  Which, you know, talking about, you know, hallucinogens and
• 1:35:47
  stuff. You know, this is a topic that
• 1:35:49
  gets brought up on on this show frequently and in other circles,
• 1:35:53
  especially in Pagan, you know, areas that you know, I, I view
• 1:35:59
  these, these gifts as such, you know, I mean the, the, the
• 1:36:04
  mushrooms and the other plant medicines that are
• 1:36:08
  hallucinogenic. These are gifts from the divine
• 1:36:11
  that connect us to that part of ourselves and awaken us to that
• 1:36:15
  part of ourselves. But they, they have obviously
• 1:36:19
  been abused and have been, you know, leveraged in ways that
• 1:36:23
  don't align with, with, with goodness or with, with what
• 1:36:26
  spirit is meant to teach us. And when we are, you know, when
• 1:36:31
  we are like deaf and blind to that, when we become and, and
• 1:36:39
  this kind of goes back to, you know what we, what we started
• 1:36:45
  off, you know, talking about when it comes to our, you know,
• 1:36:51
  our ancestors and, and the things that we have to, to kind
• 1:36:55
  of heal from and, and, and are they able to reach us when we
• 1:37:01
  take this is, and I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna take credit for
• 1:37:03
  what I'm about to say as my own words.
• 1:37:06
  These, these are these are, these are musings or these are
• 1:37:09
  words from my brother. And so when I, when I say this
• 1:37:12
  full credit to, to, to to bright spirit.
• 1:37:16
  But he said that, you know, we when we take the way of the
• 1:37:19
  world, right? When we take the way of the
• 1:37:22
  world instead of the way of spirit, whatever name you want
• 1:37:25
  to put to that, you know, But when we, when we take the way of
• 1:37:27
  the world instead of the way of spirit, we become corrupt in
• 1:37:32
  that. So like the, the, the
• 1:37:35
  interchange becomes our spirit as we deny our ancestors
• 1:37:41
  guidance, as we, you know, refuse their teachings or we
• 1:37:45
  become disconnected from it. So then that is what we pass on
• 1:37:50
  or that is what our our ancestors maybe had passed on.
• 1:37:54
  Is, is those ways that we, we become disconnected from spirit.
• 1:37:58
  And we were, we were more in tune or we were more connected
• 1:38:01
  through these ways of the world. And it's something that, you
• 1:38:07
  know, like I say, when we talk about ancestor veneration, it
• 1:38:09
  becomes something of a topic that that gets brought up.
• 1:38:12
  Well, what if one of my ancestors was a piece of shit,
• 1:38:15
  right? What if he was genuinely a bad
• 1:38:17
  person or she or whatever when you know, because they did
• 1:38:20
  things willingly that were bad, you know, they they were, they
• 1:38:24
  were vile, they were abusive, whatever to people.
• 1:38:30
  That person along those lines kind of blocked out the work of
• 1:38:37
  spirit and the connection with spirit and took the way of
• 1:38:39
  corruption. And so like our dark work, what
• 1:38:45
  he was saying is like our dark work, there is in, he said,
• 1:38:53
  healing from that ancestor, healing for them, breaking that
• 1:38:57
  bad line of things to heal them the at a time when they couldn't
• 1:39:05
  experience the healing, you know, so we go through the thing
• 1:39:07
  to we go through that darkness to, to heal them and then to
• 1:39:11
  return them to connection with spirit in the world and that,
• 1:39:17
  you know, and, and in connection with the other ancestors who
• 1:39:20
  were in alignment with that. So like, it's like breaking the,
• 1:39:28
  the fletchling end of an arrow or the fletching end of an
• 1:39:31
  arrow, you know, like if you've been shot with an arrow, well,
• 1:39:35
  what we see in the mirrors, like you break that part and then you
• 1:39:37
  push it through. So it's like breaking the, the,
• 1:39:41
  the fletching of an arrow, the fletching end of an arrow so
• 1:39:44
  that the Arrowhead can be pulled through the other side of the
• 1:39:49
  wound and no longer be in the body.
• 1:39:51
  And I go, man, what a, what a, what a beautiful analogy to
• 1:39:56
  compare, like to, to, to put that sometimes the only way out
• 1:40:00
  of a situation is through is through it.
• 1:40:05
  You know, well, my, my belief is that we are, I believe in
• 1:40:10
  genetic memory. I believe that has a large deal,
• 1:40:16
  large expanse to deal with. The other thing I believe is we
• 1:40:21
  are our ancestors, meaning we're reincarnated from them.
• 1:40:26
  So whatever they did continues on throughout further
• 1:40:31
  generation. So I'm just going to say my
• 1:40:38
  great great uncle who fought in World War One, went over to
• 1:40:42
  France and dealt with the all that warfare over there.
• 1:40:52
  That generation, honestly our generation now is the
• 1:40:56
  reincarnations of them and we carry the bag.
• 1:40:58
  It's just from them upon now, which is if you look at the way
• 1:41:05
  society is today, people for lack of better terms than for a
• 1:41:14
  stereotype screaming at the sky. And it's because of between
• 1:41:20
  civil war, especially people from my, from my family that
• 1:41:24
  dealt with, between the civil war to World War One, dealt with
• 1:41:28
  the Union coming down, destroying farms, assaulting
• 1:41:34
  women, everything else going in World War One and Two, Korea,
• 1:41:39
  Vietnam, we're the, we're the same people, but we are now
• 1:41:45
  dealing with the aftermath of 160 years of absolute war and
• 1:41:54
  terror. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:41:57
  We're in that. We're in that ERA of of dealing
• 1:42:00
  with the fallout. Fallout of all that, and it's
• 1:42:05
  our place this day and age to try to correct that as much as
• 1:42:10
  possible, which is not going to be done in one generation.
• 1:42:13
  It's going to take multiple generations, probably another
• 1:42:16
  100 years or so, to finally correct that, which hopefully
• 1:42:21
  will. I don't disagree.
• 1:42:23
  Like you say, it doesn't happen. You know, these, these, these
• 1:42:25
  damages, the things that you're talking about, you know, they
• 1:42:27
  didn't happen overnight. It took a long time and it's,
• 1:42:30
  you know, for it to happen. And therefore the, the healing
• 1:42:33
  and the correction of it is going to then therefore take
• 1:42:37
  time and, and likeness. So we're the beginning of that,
• 1:42:42
  right? We're the start of that.
• 1:42:43
  Are we, are we, are we setting the stage properly for our
• 1:42:46
  future descendants, right, to, to learn from us as ancestors,
• 1:42:51
  right? Are we going to be the ancestors
• 1:42:53
  that they can call upon in their path and in their movement
• 1:42:58
  forward? And so This is why I, I, you
• 1:43:00
  know, I, I do what I do and the way that I do it and the way
• 1:43:02
  that I live is because I know that I'm not going to, you know,
• 1:43:05
  the seeds that I plant now, I'm not going to enjoy the shade of
• 1:43:09
  that tree, but I'm not doing it. I'm.
• 1:43:13
  Not freeze now for the future generations to have shape.
• 1:43:16
  Exactly right. I'm not doing it for, for my
• 1:43:18
  benefit. I'm doing it for them.
• 1:43:20
  And I want them to be able to have, you know, a, a, a, a
• 1:43:24
  source to, to tap into in their way to move forward in this and
• 1:43:30
  to be an inspiration for that. That's why I do what I do and
• 1:43:34
  that's why I I say what I say and and be what I be and are
• 1:43:41
  what I are and all that. I am what I am and then the
• 1:43:45
  word. Popeye yeah, it's I am, is what
• 1:43:49
  I am. And that's all that I am.
• 1:43:53
  Yeah. So, and it's great that we can
• 1:43:57
  talk about it and 'cause this again, this, this is, our words
• 1:44:01
  are, are timeless. Whether it's etched in stone,
• 1:44:04
  written on paper or recorded on, you know, platforms like this,
• 1:44:11
  our words are, are ageless. And people will look back on
• 1:44:15
  this and listen or watch and perhaps find inspiration to them
• 1:44:22
  pursue something of irrelevant nature in the time they live in.
• 1:44:26
  And This is why we do it. This is why this is what Random
• 1:44:29
  heathen Ramblings is about. This is what this platform is
• 1:44:31
  about, is to bring not just my voice, but other people's voices
• 1:44:36
  into existence and, and and give that voice a platform to be
• 1:44:40
  heard not just now, but for the future.
• 1:44:45
  Yeah, leaving a legacy A. 100% and I appreciate you wanting to
• 1:44:51
  come on and, and be part of that and thank you.
• 1:44:53
  Oh. Same here Sir.
• 1:44:57
  I mean, most people just think I'm that's rambling, which it's
• 1:45:05
  like, yeah, I'm like in the fantasy aspect, I'm the old or
• 1:45:10
  wise man or drew it up on the hill.
• 1:45:12
  Just like chastising society under my breath on the way
• 1:45:16
  people are. Yeah.
• 1:45:19
  Well, I'm glad that we got this chance to get you off that
• 1:45:23
  mountain a little bit and down here into the mix of people to
• 1:45:27
  to to interact in this sort of way and to hear what you have to
• 1:45:30
  say. I think it's been a great
• 1:45:31
  episode so far and I appreciate your time and your willingness
• 1:45:35
  to to share what you have to share.
• 1:45:38
  I definitely would like to maybe consider having you come back in
• 1:45:41
  the future if you're ever so inclined.
• 1:45:42
  Oh, definitely. But yeah, I think this has been
• 1:45:46
  a great, cool man. Yeah.
• 1:45:48
  Yeah. We definitely talk offline a lot
• 1:45:51
  about different things that I think could make for for good
• 1:45:53
  content discussion wise. Mostly it's perverted content
• 1:45:58
  and through. Yeah, it would be like the the,
• 1:46:02
  the random heathen ramblings after dark, you know?
• 1:46:06
  Yeah, the late the late night, the Late Show version of it all.
• 1:46:11
  Oh we got a discord up going, we may be able to do that.
• 1:46:15
  That was just an after hours show for everyone.
• 1:46:18
  Yeah, just do like a just do like an exclusive members only
• 1:46:21
  kind of thing, you know? Yeah, this is, this isn't for
• 1:46:24
  the kids, you know, this is, this is for the men and the
• 1:46:27
  women of mature nature and whatever else.
• 1:46:29
  But yeah. Which you'll see me if I'm here
• 1:46:33
  in Louisiana, you're definitely, people definitely see me like
• 1:46:36
  jump into a lake with Gators in it and rest a lot more, do
• 1:46:41
  burnouts on a motorcycle and Donuts and everything else.
• 1:46:47
  That's crazy, John, it's been great having you on the show,
• 1:46:50
  man. Thank you so very much for being
• 1:46:52
  here. And is there anything that you
• 1:46:54
  want to leave the people with as as any sort of parting words or
• 1:46:58
  anything, before you retire back up to your Mountain Home, up
• 1:47:03
  there where you mumble under your breath there?
• 1:47:06
  Ain't no mountains here. There ain't no mountains.
• 1:47:08
  Here, the proverbial mountain. Yeah, you're you're proverbial
• 1:47:10
  hill. Not really, yeah.
• 1:47:19
  I mean, I can say many things, but I don't think they'd help
• 1:47:24
  anyone if I said those. You know, you'd be surprised,
• 1:47:28
  man. I think the, the, the, the
• 1:47:30
  realness of what we do here on this show and you being here
• 1:47:35
  and, and saying what you said, it's, it's, it's not scripted,
• 1:47:37
  it's real, it's raw. And that's what means the most
• 1:47:41
  to people is, is the genuineness of it.
• 1:47:43
  So regardless of what you might think, I'm, I'm pretty sure that
• 1:47:49
  somebody or somebody's will really enjoy this.
• 1:47:56
  I know I did. I know I enjoyed it.
• 1:47:57
  So. Oh.
• 1:47:59
  This thing here, this has been honestly the most like uplifting
• 1:48:03
  thing in a while for me. Well, good man.
• 1:48:08
  I'm glad that we could get that, that box checked for you or, or,
• 1:48:11
  or or, you know, reach that point for you.
• 1:48:14
  So we, we accomplished a good thing today.
• 1:48:18
  Yeah, So cool, man. We'll, we'll go ahead and sign
• 1:48:20
  on. Beast out of himself gets rid of
• 1:48:22
  the man of being a pain gets rid of the pain of being a man.
• 1:48:25
  Sorry. Or that yeah, both of those
• 1:48:27
  things, you know. Yeah, all of the all of the
• 1:48:31
  things. Yeah.
• 1:48:33
  All right, cool man. Stick around because I'm going
• 1:48:35
  to wrap with you for just a minute after I sign off here.
• 1:48:40
  But everybody, this has been a great episode.
• 1:48:42
  I think it we we touched on things of a very raw nature, you
• 1:48:46
  know, we. All if you lose my name in the
• 1:48:50
  I'll put it in later. But if you lose my name in
• 1:48:52
  there, anyone who wants to, they can find me on Facebook by those
• 1:48:56
  name by that name or they can find me on Instagram at the
• 1:49:01
  amazing Babo at Well, the amazing Babo is what they can
• 1:49:06
  find me on on Instagram at which don't get upset at me.
• 1:49:11
  What the hell? You see?
• 1:49:12
  Because yeah, I have a lot of stuff on there, from politics to
• 1:49:16
  stupid crap. So.
• 1:49:21
  Well, here he is, ladies and gentlemen, John the lot and and
• 1:49:25
  on Facebook and the amazing Bobo, you said.
• 1:49:28
  Well D like DE like Spanish version.
• 1:49:32
  D yeah, de de. De amazing without AG Bobo
• 1:49:38
  BOBBO. OK, so there you go.
• 1:49:43
  Yeah, drop me your drop me your IG there so I can link it to
• 1:49:46
  folks in the in the show notes for people that just want to
• 1:49:49
  follow you if they so choose. Because, you know, you never
• 1:49:52
  know, man, people are out here listening to stuff that, you
• 1:49:55
  know, they may not even be heathen and they're just, you
• 1:49:57
  know, wanting to connect with the, you know, with, with my
• 1:50:00
  guests in, in, in other ways. So feel free to connect with
• 1:50:04
  John since he so graciously gave you his his ATS and.
• 1:50:09
  Whatever. If they're I'm a bit more
• 1:50:15
  conservative when it comes to politics.
• 1:50:16
  So anyone who is not looking at that point, but I'm more kind of
• 1:50:20
  conservative libertarian. If that bothers you, you may not
• 1:50:25
  want to get onto my Instagram. Yeah.
• 1:50:29
  The little bit of a disclaimer there for you.
• 1:50:31
  So that's, that's, that's fair. But yeah, he'll have his, his,
• 1:50:35
  his Facebook information and his Instagram handle will be, you
• 1:50:40
  know, posted down in the show notes or the description of the
• 1:50:42
  video if you're watching this on Patreon.
• 1:50:44
  So for you folks that want to follow him or, or connect with
• 1:50:48
  him and for anything, there you go.
• 1:50:51
  But yeah, John, I'm going to go ahead and sign off to just stick
• 1:50:53
  around for just a minute. And for everybody else, thank
• 1:50:56
  you for being here. I hope this episode helped you
• 1:50:59
  work through some things. Maybe you're thinking of, of, of
• 1:51:02
  things in your own family line when it comes to, you know,
• 1:51:05
  ancestral influence, curses, etcetera, things of that nature.
• 1:51:10
  Don't be afraid of to be the change that you want to see and
• 1:51:14
  get things done that you need to get done right.
• 1:51:17
  And do not take matters in your own hands on the basis of you
• 1:51:22
  think life is too bad, get a hold of me.
• 1:51:24
  Believe me, I'll run us all over the mill on stuff.
• 1:51:29
  No, believe me, I've been there dealing with a bad thoughts on
• 1:51:34
  everything. Yeah, don't do that.
• 1:51:36
  Ever. No, talk to me.
• 1:51:38
  I'll give you stuff to think about and we can connect and
• 1:51:45
  turn page down red. Thank you, John.
• 1:51:48
  Thank you for being a voice for people that might feel like
• 1:51:51
  they're out of options. You do have options and the
• 1:51:54
  option is to continue endeavor. Life is worth living and and the
• 1:51:59
  pain that you're going through, the hurt that you're feeling is
• 1:52:01
  not so great that you need to extinguish your flame.
• 1:52:06
  So reach out to people. John's offering himself.
• 1:52:09
  I'm offering myself. There are resources out there.
• 1:52:13
  You're not alone and, and never feel that way.
• 1:52:15
  So thank you, John, for, for, for bringing that up and for,
• 1:52:18
  for offering yourself for help to people.
• 1:52:20
  That's that's a mighty thing. So thank you for that and thank
• 1:52:23
  you all for for being here and listening or watching this
• 1:52:26
  episode of the Random Heathen Ramblings podcast.
• 1:52:29
  If this is your first time and you are catching this randomly
• 1:52:32
  because of the algorithm, well then in today's your lucky day,
• 1:52:36
  just go ahead and click that follow button or subscribe or
• 1:52:39
  whatever the platform that you're on gives you the chance
• 1:52:42
  to do to show your support. Additionally, if you want to
• 1:52:46
  support this show in the production of it, join me on
• 1:52:48
  patreon@patreon.com/midgard Musings.
• 1:52:51
  Become a Carl to your patron for just $1.00 a month and you can
• 1:52:55
  help with the production cost of this show and support what we do
• 1:52:59
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• 1:53:04
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• 1:53:07
  sharing, commenting, engaging is one of the best ways that you
• 1:53:11
  can also support what we do here without any sort of financial
• 1:53:15
  obligation on your part. So thank you all very much for
• 1:53:18
  being here, and until we talk to each other again, may the gods
• 1:53:24
  continue to notice you and may your ancestors smile upon you.
• 1:53:28
  We'll see you in the next one.