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45: Growing Pains w/ David Scott · Harder Than Life

• 0:00
  I'm Kelly Siegel and this is harder than life a podcast about self-love self-awareness business and health We tell outrageous stories and boil everything down to simple practical advice. You can start using today. Let's get living I
• 0:15
  Awesome, welcome back to the Heart and Life Podcast. I've said it a thousand times, there are no coincidences. My guest happens to be, started off as a vendor for National Technology Management, became a great friend and still is a marketing extraordinaire, Scott Growth Strategies, and he helps the National Technology Management brand as well as the Heart and Life brand.
• 0:38
  with marketing development strategies. So without further ado, welcome to the podcast. This is the first time ever that I'm going completely off
• 0:48
  I love it. Off solo. There's no notes. There's no nothing. You just said before we hit record, we're going to solve the world's problems. I know we'll discuss them, but I don't think we're going to be able to solve them. But let's have some fun. Unscripted. Unscripted. That's the word I was looking for. So welcome to the Heart of Life podcast. This is a long time overdue. We've done your podcast. You know, the listeners are strong. We've had some intense conversations. So I want to start off with Dave. What's your story? And why does your story matter? Yeah.
• 1:16
  Yeah, that's such a good question. Thanks for having me. I'm grateful to be here. I'm just a blue-collar kid. Grew up in northeastern Minnesota. My parents were all blue-collar workers. My mom was a retired nurse. My dad worked in the iron mines. My stepdad was a cop and in law enforcement. My stepmom was a banker, started as a teller, and then worked up to a bank president.
• 1:35
  Got married young, moved to the Twin Cities, got divorced not young after having a couple kids early on and yeah, just owned a couple different business ventures over time and here I am.
• 1:48
  So let's just dive right into it. So, you know, we've been, we talked a little bit about your journey in life, divorced. You know, we're in the frickin' arena in the mud. What's in your mind today? What's battling? What are you battling in the life today? Because we're all human. We're all battling something. What's on your mind today? We are. It reminds me of the meme that you see every so often that be kind to people and compassionate, right? Because you don't know what they're going through.
• 2:14
  Gosh, you know, I'm 45 and when I hit like 41, 42, I was like, things just aren't going well, right? Like I realized there was a problem, there was a disconnect deep down inside, but I just didn't know what it was. I was sad, I was depressed, I was miserable, I was overweight, I was drinking, as we've talked about a thousand times, which I don't do anymore.
• 2:34
  And I thought some things have to change. Like I don't want, I don't want to, I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Right. And so it is, it's a good line though. I stole it. So I think just that epiphany of, uh, of being sick and tired that like we've talked about last night, you get to the point of never again. Right. Like I don't want to, I don't want to live in this place anymore and I want to get beyond this.
• 2:57
  And so I started to make some life changes, started to see some things, started to address some red flags in my life. And I've been on this personal kick journey. I've been freaking obsessed with it for the last four or five years. And it's been good. If you were to collectively add up the dollars and cents that I've spent, plus quantify my time, it's been probably hundreds of thousands of dollars that I've spent on getting free from my past, right? Free from a lot of the things that were holding me back. So that's been my journey the last few years. It's been good.
• 3:23
  We talk a lot and I didn't, I just put two and two together that that's when we become pretty good friends over the last four or five years. So hopefully I'm having a good influence on you. And I, I'm going to ask you a tough question. I've never asked you. Is it, do I cast any kind of, what's the word I want to say? Fear or doubt in the way that I live my life on you at all? Am I, what can I do to be a better friend and be more supportive of you?
• 3:46
  Well, I mean, I remember when we first met, you was at an IT conference, it was at IT Nation, and you weren't in a good place. I wasn't in a good place. None of the people that we were there with was in a good place, right? And so I remember thinking, this guy is cool, right? And I remember thinking, also, he's got a story. Like, there is a story of how he got to where he is today, right? And I just didn't obviously know you that well then, and I think we really started to connect a couple years ago. No, no cast of doubts, nothing of that nature. I think...
• 4:16
  Having you in my life, Kelly, has opened up the possibility that I can be more, right? I've always been a big fan of iron sharpens iron, right? Not to get religious, but I think that's a great biblical reference, right? And I've always felt like you become the people that you hang out with.
• 4:33
  and I've always aspired to surround myself with people that you know can push you to make you better, that can challenge you, not to challenge you to be an asshole, but challenge you because they love you and they care about you, right? Not to be pompous or arrogant, and so that's how I see our relationship, very much along the lines of iron sharpening iron.
• 4:52
  Well, thank you. I received that. And it's uncomfortable for me because I was always, like you said, being the asshole, the drunken asshole. And let's push it to the next level. Let's party. Let's see what debauchery we can do. And that was fun to me.
• 5:08
  it's, it's, it's uncomfortable and just different for me to hear that, Oh, I'm a role model or, you know, and it's, so thank you. And that means a lot because it's been a lot, it's been very violent to get here. I'm still very, very short of my goals and I'm still working progress. And if I could just get 1% better every day and you're a lot of, you're a lot to do with that. We talk about,
• 5:32
  A lot of the same thing. So let's talk about what your daily habits and routines look like to, to address, I say, face your fears, live your dreams. Yeah. You're facing your fears every day. We still make similar mistakes, but we make them better every single time. Yep. Talk about,
• 5:48
  what you do on a daily basis to quote unquote, do the work. Yeah. So my boxing coach, uh, Joe Trottier, uh, in tropical Fargo, Minnesota, shout out to Joe. He always says that routine is the mother of all invention and discipline is its daddy.
• 6:06
  I like that. Routine is the mother of all invention and discipline is its daddy. And he's so right. So back in 2019, along that journey, I was just so lethargic and just miserable inside that I wanted to do something different. I wanted to mix up a routine. I didn't have a routine. I didn't have a workout routine. I didn't have shitty eating habits. I was married at the time. And, you know, it's, you get what I mean.
• 6:32
  just the more why are divorces so expensive because they're worth it yes exactly sorry no no no no offense yeah so i got into boxing mixed martial arts muay thai kickboxing and i'm at that time i'm 40 41 my legs and my joints don't work and my hips don't work like they once did right so i can't do mma because i don't want to break something or snap something and
• 6:57
  And all the guys and gals in the gym are all 10, 15, 20 years younger than I am. So they can move and be flexible in different ways. So I'm like, I'm just going to stick to American style boxing. Like, that's it. So I started on this journey with Joe and he's like, if we're going to do this, it's going to cost you money. It's going to cost you time. I want you to be serious and diligent about it. I just don't want you to come in here and waste my time. And I was like, oh, damn. Okay. You're serious. And he intentionally is like, yep.
• 7:19
  standards and boundaries yep totally and so what he did was he helped me understand the value of routine and so then that morphed into boxing and you have to be disciplined like boxing boxing ain't getting in the gym and just throwing a bunch of haymakers like i love when you go to a bar restaurant a couple drunk dudes are like oh i can fight you're like no you can't fight everybody says they can fight but fighting and like strategically fighting are two different things right and
• 7:44
  And so he was like, we're going to teach you the foundation. We're going to teach you the skills. We're going to teach you to move. I'm going to teach you to understand the basics of boxing, right? And it's not about throwing punches. It just isn't. And so started on that journey, what I started to realize was I needed a daily routine. And now more than ever, for me to get through stressful times, if I didn't have my routine, I probably wouldn't even be alive.
• 8:08
  So in honor of Joe, as he's talking about routine is the mother of all invention and innovation. I believe it is. My daily habits are simple. I get up at a structured set time every day. I make my bed every day. Like I can't, it's been years since I haven't made my bed. Even when I'm in a rush, I always make the bed, put the pillows on the bed, everything, get it nice and cool looking. Meditate.
• 8:36
  Journal every day and eat well throughout the day. Now, don't get me wrong. I have a sugar tooth or sweet tooth. I like donuts. I like candy. And there's nothing wrong with that. And that's why I work out so I can eat those things, so I can enjoy life, so I can feel good, right? So my guts feel good. So I'm not...
• 8:53
  Yeah, just feeling yucky because what you put in your body is what you are, right? And so those routines have been really important. And then on top of that, it's daily time or weekly time, monthly time with my therapist. It's my ADHD coach, Dr. Neil. It's spending time with people who I know...
• 9:09
  uh, who have good energy and not toxic energy. It's telling people who do have toxic energy. No, I don't want you in my life or here's the boundary, or I'm only going to give you this amount of time. And it's people who are giving me good energy that I want to spend more time with and I want to gravitate towards. Right. And I want them to be a part of my life and I want to be a part of theirs too. So that's the routine that's gotten to be where I'm at today and really got me through a lot of tough seasons too. Do you read voraciously? Yes. Yeah. A book recommendation for the people.
• 9:35
  Yeah, it's one we talked about earlier today. It's by Dr. Joan Rosenberg. It's one of the best books I've ever read. It's called 90 Seconds to a Life You Will Love. And in the book, the premise of the book is eight foundational emotions that everybody struggles with. People just struggle to go through and to work through. And she's like, if you can learn to get through these emotions, you can work through anything in life.
• 9:57
  I talk about emotional intelligence all the time. That's that is my new favorite thing is EQ, not IQ, EQ. It's being able to respond and not react. Yes. And if you can do that, you got you're going to be successful. Talk to me about alcohol. How is I know how many how many days it's been. But talk to me about what made you made the decision to give up the naughty water.
• 10:22
  Yeah, 310 days, baby. 310 days strong. So last summer, I was in a pretty dark place. And I had just come from a trip, did some things that I wasn't super proud of, came home, realized that I've been abusing alcohol for a long time, and it was getting worse. And so I went through a series of
• 10:45
  one unfortunate event and I decided that alcohol just shouldn't be part of my life anymore. And so I checked myself into AA and addiction recovery, started doing the meetings and everybody's AA's journey is a little bit different, right? And I come from a long line of alcoholics and diabetics. And so that's why I stay so lean and sober is because I don't want to end up like those other family members. It's the adage of the two twin sons who have an alcoholic father, right? Yeah.
• 11:10
  They both grew up. They both saw their dad raging alcoholic. The one son, story goes, watches his dad, becomes an alcoholic. The other son watches his dad, chooses not to be an alcoholic, right? And so we have choice. And so I just saw that growing up and I didn't see a lot of the effects of it because my dad's been sober for longer than I've been born. But it's a generational sin. It's very much a generational condition, right? And I...
• 11:36
  I was never blackout drunk. I never got any bar fights. I never drove drunk. No DUIs. It's the fun stuff. Come on. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, I missed out. But I never did anything like that. But most alcoholics drink silently. They struggle in silence. They suffer in silence. And they don't talk about it. They're medicating. They're using substances to get through something, another deeper wound in their life they're not addressing. That's almost always why people drink.
• 12:03
  I'd argue it's all the time why people drink. But I was doing the same thing. I was drinking a bottle or two of wine a night. I was consuming hard liquor and I didn't like how I felt. I was pushing 200 pounds. And as a guy who's 5'9", 5'10", 200 pounds is pretty chubby. And I'm like, I just don't want to be that guy. I'm 210. Yeah, but you have a body fat percentage of less than 10. So there's a difference.
• 12:28
  Yeah, I agree with everything you just said about alcohol. And I want to specifically point out, let's see, ADHD coach, boxing coach, therapist. You didn't say EMDR, but I know that's part of it. And then you have AA. And this is what I meant by...
• 12:42
  the violence it took me to get down the healing journey. Yeah. And, and you're right there just a skosh behind me and I'm proud of you. And it's, you're one of the few people that do that and you should be proud too. There's people listening to this that are in the same boat. You are not doing one of those things. Yeah. So if you're listening, it takes a lot of violence. It takes a lot of effort to get out of where you are, but if nothing's changed, nothing changes. Yeah. Yeah.
• 13:09
  So I'm impressed by you. I love you and I appreciate you. And let's switch gears for just a second. We'll come back because we're going to talk relationships. But I want to talk a little bit about marketing gears. That's how I met you. You were brilliant. You still are a brilliant marketer. You've gone into coaching with sales and business coaching. And you're a brilliant mind. I love bouncing things off of you because Lord knows I don't know. I don't know everything. I don't know much really. So I just have brilliant people around me.
• 13:36
  And I listen for once and I don't, uh, it's amazing how when you're present and you're not drinking, you can actually listen to people. So yeah, that's another, today's a gift. Today's a gift because I was present. So having said that, talk to me, how did you get into marketing?
• 13:51
  You know, I've always had a love for words and telling stories. And I remember even as a kid, I used to write poetry and just write in general. This is before blogs. This is like the late 80s, early 90s, right? So like the very first blog site was called, it was started by Seth Godin. And he's this, he looks like a skinnier version of Dr. Evil and bald white guy with goofy glasses. And God, I forget the URL. It's not WordPress. It was Word something. Yeah.
• 14:18
  Anyway, it doesn't matter. This is before blogging. This is before people could write online, right, and share their thoughts and stories and whatever. So I've always had just this knack of being interested in stories, probably because my grandfather was a phenomenal storyteller, right? And some of the stories he used to tell, even up until his dying day back in 2003, I'm like, this did not happen, Grandpa. And a guy was not a liar. He was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of them. And none of his tales, with the exception of fishing tales, were tall tales, right?
• 14:47
  And so I think I got inspired just by the idea that if you can tell a good, compelling story, you can do anything, right? You can sell, which is a huge skill to owning and growing a business. You can communicate with your loved ones. You can communicate with your spouse or girlfriend or significant other or whatever, partner, whatever kids are calling it these days. You can communicate with your kids. You can communicate with your attorney. You can communicate with their CPA. Like clear communication is so important.
• 15:16
  And I always say that there's two things that will wreck any relationship instantly. It's missed expectations and or lack of communication, missed expectations or lack of communication. Like if you miss on those things consistently, your relationships is doomed, whatever professional or person doesn't matter.
• 15:33
  And so I think I just gravitated toward the idea that I wanted to be a clear communicator because I had so many people in my life as a little kid who didn't communicate with me. I grew up in a divorced home and my parents weren't around much because they both worked shift work. And, you know, there wasn't a lot of love growing up. I was new in the back of my mind, but it wasn't shown or talked about. Right. So that was something that I've been addressing through my personal development over the last few years.
• 15:57
  And so I really wanted to get to the point where I could clearly communicate how I was feeling to other people. And so I think storytelling has been a big part of that. And that's how I got into marketing.
• 16:09
  I want to point out again that I asked you a business question and you answer it with a personal development answer. Yeah. And it's a great answer that I use all the time. Tell a good story. Yeah. And, and when I mean, I'm going to be very specific because many of the people, listeners are listening on the other side. They're not telling a good story in their life. Yeah. And if you tell a good story in life, you're going to succeed and feel a good story in business, not the other way around. Yeah. That's why millionaires and billionaires and, and, and celebrities are killing themselves because,
• 16:38
  Because you can make all the money in the world to be miserable. If you're going to choose one, choose telling a good story in your personal life and everything else will fall into play. Telling a good story is...
• 16:50
  getting all the coaches that you have doing the proverbial work and getting happy and loving yourself, which is what we're going to get into now. And don't forget Scott growth strategies will be linked into the show. He works all across the country. He is in, as he said, tropical Fargo, North Dakota, but he won't be for very long. And,
• 17:10
  And he works like with us in Florida and us in Detroit and, and, and IT companies, Atlanta, all over the place. And, and, and so he's available anywhere, anyplace. That's what the beauty part about the pandemic did is open up the world for us. So, and I can personally attest to you that he helped national technology management as well as harder than life grow with his numerous insights behind the scenes and constant positivity, um,
• 17:37
  And when you ask business questions, you will get personal development answers, which is really, that's why I love this. That's why I love doing what we're doing. Same. Tell a good story. And telling a good story is starting off with being honest with yourself. And if you read the Heart of the Life book, the very first chapter, self-awareness. Yep.
• 17:56
  What is, would be your, what's your mantra for personal development? What's your, what's your number one advice if somebody comes to you and, and is, is just not telling a good story? Yeah. Um, gosh. Put you on the spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, I think people hide behind masks a lot. I think they hide behind lies. I think they lie to themselves about what they really want in life.
• 18:21
  And I think until you can get clear with yourself, you are just lying and you're just living a life doing 50% of the work, 60% of the work, 70% of the work, 80% of the work. Here's a good example. When I was in college, I went to community college for two years, then I went to private college, got my undergrad, and then I got my MBA a few years ago after that.
• 18:44
  But when I went to community college, there's summer, there's a summer internship program at the Iron Mind that my dad worked out.
• 18:53
  So my dad's my hero. He's brilliant. And like you talked about earlier, I gravitate towards, and I love hanging around people who have a very high EQ. Like I could give two shits less about what your IQ is. Like if you have 160 IQ, whatever, I don't care. Because if you can't relate to me and extend empathy, I just, I don't want to talk to you, right? Because you're probably rude and you're a dick or, you know, you're just not a very nice person, right? Like I want somebody who can not only tell a good story, but empathize and just laugh and enjoy life, right?
• 19:21
  And that typically comes from somebody who's got a really high emotional quotient. So my dad has got both and he's just kind of this unique duck, right? And he had an undergrad in history. He wanted to be a history professor. But like back in the late, early, late 60s, early 70s, when he got done with his tour in Vietnam, finished his college education, colleges, universities, community colleges, like they weren't hiring college professors, right? They just weren't.
• 19:48
  And our country was in a different place economically and, you know, society was just a lot different. So he took a job because he just got married to my then mom and had two little kids, right? And spit out two little kids shortly afterwards. And he was like, I need a job to pay the bills. And so he got into working for an iron mine for U.S. Steel in northeastern Minnesota. And he just stuck with it for 31 years.
• 20:12
  And I don't think he regretted it because my dad's not a regretful kind of guy, but he is the kind of guy to say, gosh, I really would have loved to be a college professor. My dad would have been the best damn college professor ever. Like, think of your coolest college professor. A guy who's got good integrity, but also at the same time, he's a fair grader and he just teaches you things you didn't know before. Like, that's my dad. Yeah.
• 20:33
  And so when I was working at this iron mine in this internship, we were just doing shitty work. We were hosing industrial floors that were like pellets dropping on us that were thousands and thousands of temperatures hot and you had to wear these special gloves. It was just a nasty environment.
• 20:48
  And I thought, I do not want to do this for the next 31 fucking years of my life. No way. I'm not doing it. And he was encouraging me too. He's like, hey, there's nothing wrong with being a blue collar guy, which I don't have a problem being a blue collar guy. Like I'm a very active and young and also veteran CEO of my small consulting firm. Right. Like I don't mind getting my hands dirty and rolling up my sleeves.
• 21:08
  But at the same time, I knew I didn't want to work in the Ironmind factory like my dad for the rest of my life. And so I was like, what can I do to figure that out so I don't end up like my dad? And so his words were, go do something else. Don't regret this later in life. And 31 years down the road, you're mid-50s, early 60s, and you live in a pension and living a life that maybe is comfortable to you, but you didn't want to live. And so in a lot of ways, my dad won't admit this, but he settled.
• 21:37
  he settled because of life's circumstances, which I totally understand. And we've all, we've had lots of conversations since then. He's like, I'm so proud of you for doing what you want to do. It's gotta be hard. I'm like, yeah, it is fucking hard. Like owning a small business in America is not easy. It's,
• 21:53
  Everything is out against you. The government does not want you to succeed. They don't. They want to take money. They want to take resources from you, taxes, unemployment, FICA. All this stuff, it just adds up. Everybody wants a piece of your profitability and your pie every day and every week and every month and every year. And so it's not. America doesn't celebrate business owners like they once did. They're vilified now because of our woke mafia and our woke mob in America.
• 22:18
  And so it makes it that much harder. And so my dad has always encouraged me and just said how proud he is of the fact that I'm a small business owner and that I'm succeeding at it. We've been doing it for six years now, over six years, and we've had our trials. We just went through a recent reset. But to come back to your original question, I feel like people just settle. I feel
• 22:46
  They settle on a lot of things. You know, they're fearful. We have past patterns and hurts and wounds that we haven't dealt with. We have parental influences. We have societal influences. They're just not willing to take the risk to start a business, to go get funding. The thing I hear often is, well, in order to grow, we got to get funding. I'm like, yeah, it's tough to get. No, it's not. You just have to know the right resources and the places to go to. It takes time. Yeah, everything takes time.
• 23:15
  Well, and so it's like excuse after excuse after excuse. And I can like overcome any excuse on the planet or any reason why you wouldn't want to do something or take a risk. But people will often lie to themselves about what they want. They live behind that mask. And what they do is they settle for a half endearing life.
• 23:32
  Then they look back at 60, 65 and they're like, fuck, I just wasted my whole life or I just whatever. Or I, or I second or third marriage in, they're like, I burned through those two. That wasn't fun. That was painful. Right. Or I settled for this and didn't do that. And that was, that wasn't fun. And so there's a reason why people, you know, they, they live with limiting self-beliefs and limiting self-opportunities and, you know,
• 23:55
  I feel like people live often fulfilled lives. And I used to be there. And still, I struggle with it from time to time. But the difference is being self-aware of it and knowing about it. Wow, that was deep. I agree. That's my biggest fear. Living a life of mediocrity. I just can't do it. Yeah, it's a great way. That's a perfect way to put it. I want to...
• 24:21
  Unpack that lying to yourself because in the word lying just doesn't sit well with me. I'm going to turn it the other way and say, I think that people aren't clear about what they want and what they, not what they need, what they want and go after it with reckless abandon. Yeah. And with all intention and not what your friends want, not what your parents want,
• 24:51
  What you want. Yeah. And...
• 24:54
  Literally be crystal clear. And then every decision you make in your life should be towards that want. Yeah. And I don't think that people lie to that. I think they self justify the reasons why they don't get there. But I just, I don't think people clearly say, well, this is what I want. Well, I want to be rich and famous. Why? What does that mean? Yeah. Let's be crystal clear. What does rich and famous, what do you do? You're looking for the feeling that comes with being rich and famous. Totally.
• 25:22
  And so with the vanity that comes being rich and famous. Right. Anyway, I just I implore the audience to sit down with a piece of paper and say, what is it that you really want? What at your core of your soul? Yeah. Do you want? Yeah. And then strip away everything that doesn't help you get there. Yeah. And some of those are going to be really close friendships because your friends. Yeah.
• 25:48
  benefit from keeping you at mediocrity. Because if you ascend, then they got to ascend. Yep. Or they're going to be left behind. Yep. So I, again, I don't want to say my line. And then I also believe that some people live their whole life without living a single day. Yeah. They exist. Which is the definition of a tragedy. I, you talked about unpacking a little bit more. Uh, so I,
• 26:16
  This is the word of wisdom to your female audience. If you are with a man who is undisciplined, dump him.
• 26:25
  What I mean by that is if he doesn't have routine, if he doesn't have a mission, if he doesn't have a vision, if he doesn't have a plan, there's a disconnect. That's a humongous red flag. And what I would challenge the guys listening to this podcast, I'm assuming it's a lot of business owners, which most business owners that I know are hyper-focused, in some ways not in a good way, but in a roundabout way. It's their superpower. It's what makes them great and smart and successful. Yeah.
• 26:52
  A disciplined man is a dangerous man. Jordan Peterson talks about living with the monster. You and I have talked about that before, right? He talks about the value of routine and the value of discipline, the value of consistency. And if you don't have...
• 27:05
  a relationship, the closest relationships in your life that support that methodology, support that worldview, you're missing out, right? And so as a part of being disciplined, to your point, maybe lying is a strong word, but I feel like most guys and even most women don't have a clue on how to do just simple personal development in terms of crafting a mission statement. Like they don't know what they want. They don't know what their identity is.
• 27:33
  And they don't know where to put their time and their focus and there's all over the place. Right. And, and it's like problem solving 101. Right. And so I feel like a lot of guys and gals, mostly guys, cause I'm like only speak for dudes cause I am one. They just struggle.
• 27:48
  And as a result, they go back to old habits and patterns and behaviors. Why? Because that's the way the human brain wants us. The human brain does not want us to grow. The human brain wants comfort. It wants mediocrity because anything that we do is risky. It puts you into a panic. Like I've flown out of, jumped out of a plane many times and I love it.
• 28:08
  But every time I get to that 10,500, 11,000 feet, my body is like sweating profusely. I'm tremoring. I'm having a PTSD response. Even though nothing bad has happened, but it's trying to keep me to jumping out of that fucking plane because the fear...
• 28:24
  in the biology of the way that my brain is physiologically built is trying to keep me from doing something new, right? Something scary, something that's ulterior to the comfort that it knows. Our brains are trying to keep us in constant comfort. And so as a result of that, what do I do? I just jump every time. I've jumped tandem. I hope this summer I hope to jump on myself. But I jump. And guess what? I land just fine at the bottom every time.
• 28:53
  Jordan, let's finish that quote. Jordan Peterson said, become a monster and learn to control it. Yeah. And, uh,
• 29:01
  That's what I'm doing. And, and, and I don't need anybody to push me. And that's what makes me scary. I, I don't need anybody to push me. I don't need any help. And nobody's going to stop me. Yeah. I'm an unstoppable force and I will continue to grind until I get what I came for. Yeah. And be very afraid if I could ever sleep, then it's a, it's a, it's a problem. But anyways, the, something else you said there that I want to unpack and it was, I don't have to come back to it. What's your, so we're talking a little bit about fear. What is your biggest fear? Yeah.
• 29:31
  Spiders? Yeah, so if anybody listening buys me a spider or buy a plastic one and send it to me, I'll hunt you down. Gosh. I used to have a lot of them. I used to live in a lot of fear. I used to have a lot of concerns, fears about regrets. I think my biggest fear is
• 30:02
  failing my kids. Like I want them to be proud of their dad. I want them to be like, their dad is one badass mamba jamba, right? So I think that's mostly maybe an insecurity, maybe not a fear necessarily. My other biggest one is...
• 30:17
  Like my stepdad died a few months ago. He died on April 11th. And starting in March through about a month ago was the hardest season I've ever gone through in my entire life. And his death was, you know, part of that stress. And he was 74 when he passed away, which to me is young still. Yeah.
• 30:37
  And he had so many health issues because he didn't take care of himself and because his body just started failing. He had to retire early because he passed out and he had a tumor in his neck and they had to shoot radiation through his neck. And he did chemo and it killed all of his teeth. So he lost all of his teeth. He didn't have taste buds. He didn't have taste buds. Like he couldn't, like imagine a world where you can't taste ice cream.
• 31:01
  or an amazing plate of spaghetti. Like think of the most amazing fucking plate of spaghetti on the planet. You can't taste it. You can't taste beer. Everything tastes like wet paper. That's how he would describe it. And he had a colonoscopy bag. He had...
• 31:19
  None of his knees were working. His joints were shot. He had Agent Orange poisoning from way back in Vietnam. That's a thing. Our government is no friend to our military veterans. Let's just put it that way. Oh, don't get us started on that, man. Don't get us started on that.
• 31:34
  So that was him. I won't get you started. How do they not get help? I know. I'm going to stop. Exactly. I'll go nuts on that. They pay the ultimate sacrifice and we don't take care of them. No. And so none of our politicians give a rip. They just really don't. They don't do anything about it. So he just had a lot of ailments right when he passed away. And I remember just as him coming to and before he passed away, passed away in a hospital, which is sad.
• 31:58
  but he just had a lot of things he would have done differently. Right. And I, that's my biggest regret. That's my, not regret, fear. Like my fear is being on my deathbed, wishing I would have done all these things.
• 32:13
  And so I am creating a life now where I can do all those things. Like if I want to buy a second home, I can buy a second home. If I want to jump out of an airplane, I can jump out of an airplane. If I want to go ski in Vail or Big Sky or Mount Bachelor in Washington State or Snowbowl or the Swiss Alps, I can do that, right?
• 32:31
  And it's not about material things. Like my family's accused me in the past. What are you doing all these material things? Like it's not material. This is experiences. And this is like we weren't put here to live in lethargy. We were put here to live in abundance, right? And the human brain is so powerful. Like we, I feel like we don't tap its full potential because we live in fear. We live in doubt. We live in uncertainty. We live in...
• 32:53
  This own, our own cocoon of a prison where we have limiting beliefs that we can't do these things. And I don't believe in that. I believe that we can have your cake and eat it too. And I believe that if we have the right mindset, you do the right things, you create the right foundation. There's not much that we can't attain.
• 33:11
  I grieve physical stuff. Like I'll never be the six foot 10 starting center for the New York Knicks. I know that because I'm not. And so I know that that will never happen. So I've grieved that and moved on. Right. So there's always limitations that we have as people. But my biggest fear is, yeah, sitting on that deathbed like my stepfather going, damn, I should have done more of these things. I should have done it. I should have spent more time with, you know, my mom, his wife. I should have spent more time with my son. I should have spent more time with, you know, whatever. And
• 33:41
  So that's my biggest fear. I've often wondered how long that regret lasts. Like how long did he sit there and think about that? Was it for the last month? Was it the last minute? So I'm wondering if the regret at the end of your life is worth pursuing that this crazy dream that you and I are pursuing now that we've decided to go mark on. Yeah.
• 34:02
  Remember the regret question, because I'm going to ask it. Tony Robbins and Ed Milet talk a lot about it, that the person you want to be in life and the person you are at your death, the distance between it is the regret. And, boy, I don't want that either. That's deep. But I'm going to be morbid for a second, because I do this all the time.
• 34:19
  I'm not the only non-positive thing that I do. 74 minus I'm 47. So what is that? 27 years? That scares the shit out of me. I do that math all the time. I'm not afraid of death because I'm going to freaking crush those 27 years. But I still plan on living to 100, maybe 120. But still, if I only had 27 years left, I'm going to make every one of them count. I sure in the hell am not going to freaking spend them.
• 34:46
  drinking or drugging or masking or avoiding reality and not living. And I did that for years. So if you're listening to this,
• 34:56
  You know, reach out and I did it. We're doing it every day and it's through habits and rituals. You keep going back to the brain is funny. What we forget is the brain is very smart. It habitualizes things that you do on a regular basis. So you have to make good choices that lead to good habits. Yes. That the brain doesn't have to think about it. When I wake up in the morning, I don't have to think about going to the gym.
• 35:21
  Yeah. My body gets up and it's already walking into the bathroom to get my workout clothes on before I even think of anything. I do gratitude right when I wake up. I'm getting my workout clothes on and I'm out the door. That's a good habit because the brain is always trying to do things. It's the laziest thing we do because it doesn't want to have to fire and wire too hard to make you do what you're doing. Exactly.
• 35:47
  If you make good choices consistently and it becomes a habit, and this is why it's so hard the reverse. If you're drinking, sexing, porning, any toxic behavior, it's so hard because it's so ingrained in your body to just do the norm. It's this familiar misery over the unfamiliar happiness. Yes.
• 36:09
  hardest freaking thing in the world believe me i've been there yeah you knew me when we were talking about that it thing man i remember being in that it convention going from event to event to event and and literally walking up on stage and giving a speech with a scotch in my hand and everybody loved it now if i were there crushed it i did crushed it drinking and you know if this kelly right now would be embarrassed by that kelly even though everybody loved that kelly i
• 36:39
  And I would see my face. It's blotchy. I just didn't. I like this guy a lot more. I love myself. And I'm seeing you love yourself more and more every day. So let's talk about the elephant in the room, which is love and relationships. Oof. Give me your...
• 36:59
  best relationship advice or your worst relationship advice what we've screwed them all up what we've what would what's your uh scott growth strategies great scott's answer to love oof that's a good one so i've got um got some notes actually oh oh you're breaking out the iphone i am i am but i've got an airplane mode so it's not gonna ding and it's make obnoxious noises
• 37:23
  So I remember when I did EMDR therapy after my divorce and it was a pretty violent one and violent in the sense that.
• 37:36
  I had so many bad habits and so many bad behaviors that I was just causing just for myself. It was just, it was not good. And so I remember getting to that point and I'm like, I don't ever want to go through this ever again. Like the pain was so great some nights and I was married young. I got, I was 21 when I got married. I was married for 21 years. So I got divorced, you know, shortly after 42 and,
• 38:00
  and that's over two decades of my life. And I knew this person, this woman, for almost 25 years on top of it, right? So we knew each other before we got married.
• 38:11
  that's a lot of fucking time for a dude who's 42 years old. Right. And I remember thinking some nights I would just cry myself to sleep and the pain was so great in my stomach and in my chest. Post divorce. Yes. Okay. Yep. That I didn't want to wake up. I wondered if I was going to wake up. I'm like, can you die from emotional, like from feeling bad emotionally? I remember thinking that you're going to have a broken heart. It happens. Yeah. Wait, I want to stop for two seconds. Do you think you got married too young?
• 38:36
  Oh, totally. Yes. If I could go back and kick my own ass and be like, you are not ready to get married. You're going to cause so much damage over the next however many years. My hindsight is 2020, man. I tell you. And I don't like, I hate when people like are so arrogant to say, I don't have any regrets. I don't live with bullshit. Everybody's got regrets. It's just a matter of to what degree.
• 38:56
  So do I have regrets? Yeah. Do I dwell on them? There's a difference. No, I don't regret. I don't, I don't dwell on my regrets, but if I could go back in time, like get in the DeLorean with Marty McFly and Doc and Einstein, I need his dog and go back. I absolutely go back and be, we're going to lock you in a cage for a few years because I mean, think about it. Like I got a deal on some plutonium. Good. I will borrow that. Did you get it from the Libyans? Yeah.
• 39:21
  Back to the future reference in case the younger people didn't know. He's like, where did you get this? From the Libyans. And they're like chasing him with that Libyan Mercedes Benz with the rocket launcher. Anyways, if I could go back, I definitely would go back and be like, no, your cognitive brain isn't even done developing yet. Right? Like people, men and women, young men and women, late teens, like your brain isn't even done developing until you're 24, 25, 26 years old. If I've told you, I don't think I grew up until I was 40.
• 39:51
  I would literally, if I had a son, I would say, wait till you're 35. And I know that sounds late, but we're all going to live longer. Yes. And I just think that as men, we are so behind women in our emotional growth. Yeah. So wait. So as we're talking about relationships, there's this great book by Donald Miller, and he's the guy who actually wrote the book Story Brand, which is what we based a lot of the storytelling methodologies, the communication methodologies at SGS, Scott Growth Strategies.
• 40:19
  and so in one of his books he um he just burned through a lot of relationships he was in his 40s when he got married finally Donald Miller was and when he started to settle down and have a kid he had first kid at like 45 or 50 which is cool like I respect him for that but in the book I forget the name of the book I'll send it to you so you can reference in the show notes but he talks about how he kept telling himself he's bad at relationships right can you google it he's Donald Miller
• 40:46
  Yeah, he's bad at relationships. Yeah, the book cover is yellow and white. That's all I remember. It's written by Donald Miller. It's like five or six years old. And he keeps telling himself, I'm bad at relationships. I keep failing at relationships. I used to think that too, right? And he has a friend named Bob Goff. Bob Goff is an influencer. He's a retired attorney from California. He's an amazing man, wicked smart, totally connected. He's just like a grandfather of just, he just looks like grandfather too. And he's awesome. Yeah.
• 41:13
  but Bob would talk to Don and he would tell Don, Don, you're not bad at relationships. You just think you're bad at relationships. You're not bad at relationships. You, there's something broke inside of you. You have to figure that out and then you will meet the one. And he did. And he figured it out. And he met his wife. I think her name's Emily or something like that or whatever. And then they're happily married and they had a kid. And,
• 41:36
  And in one of the conversations, he was very self-defeating in his humor with her when they first started dating. And he would say things like, oh, I'm so dumb or I'm so ugly or what, I'm not this guy or that guy or whatever. And he's not this imposing physical figure and not a fitness fanatic like we are. And so, you know, he just put himself down all the time. And so she challenged him on it one time and she's like...
• 41:56
  Don, it's really off-putting when you talk negative about yourself all the time. And she's like, I don't know if I can be with somebody like that. And you do it a lot. And it's affecting our relationship. And to be honest, it's affecting me. You're not bad at relationships. You're not ugly. You're not these things. But if you keep telling yourself you are, you're going to be, right? Yeah.
• 42:13
  And so I lived in this fear after my divorce where I was like, well, this was a failure. I don't know how to do marriage. I'm so, I must be bad at relationships. And I lived in this toxic thought in my own brain for quite a while. Then I went through EMDR therapy.
• 42:29
  And I started to learn the value of addressing parental wounds, generational sin, generational conditions that I feel like do get passed down generation to generation. I was in relationships or just dating and I shouldn't have been, right? And so I was doing all the wrong things and not addressing the crux of the problem, right? I was self-medicating through booze like we talked about earlier and some other choice substances, which I won't mention.
• 42:51
  But I started to realize that I'm not really bad at these. And so I remember in therapy talking to my EMDR therapist and she was like, I want you to start doing some exercises with me and I want you to start writing down your thoughts, journaling. I also want you to start thinking about what you want in a relationship. And because of my state of mind, I was like, well, I know what I don't want. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, no negative.
• 43:18
  no apostrophes, no can'ts, no I won'ts, no I don'ts. I want you to start talking about, thinking about what you want to create the life that you love first inside of you. And then I want you to create
• 43:31
  this relationship that you want. And we went through that. This is like three, three and a half years ago, almost four years ago now. And it was so powerful. And I just recently did the followup to that exercise from my cognitive coach, Troy White, and he's in Fargo. And I,
• 43:54
  He said, I want you to do this exercise, and what I want you to write down is the name of your last relationship. It doesn't matter when it was. It could be six years ago or six months ago. And I want you to write down what you want in a relationship with that person. And I started to question him. He's like, no, no, no, no, no question. We're going to have a talk, but I'm the only one talking, and then I want you to do this, and I want you to trust me, and I want you to just do this.
• 44:20
  I'm like, yeah, but that's not what I'm getting from this relationship. He's like, yeah, Grasshopper, you're missing the point. I just need you to close your mouth and listen with your ears and do what I tell you to do. Because I'm your coach. I'm your consultant. That's why you hire consultants to fucking listen to them and do what they say, right? And so I was like, okay. So yeah, at the top of this page, he's like, get a notebook. You're going to stick it in your safe after you finish this exercise. And you and I are going to come back to it.
• 44:46
  And so in the exercise, I wrote down the woman's name at the top. I wrote down what I wanted. What a perfect relationship. Not a perfect relationship, but what I want in a relationship with her, right? And I wrote down everything, and I got to the end, and I'm like, I'm not getting this.
• 45:06
  And so I called Troy and I'm like, what are you doing? This is crazy cool. And he's like, I know. He's like, now sit on this for a few days, stick it in your safe. And then we're going to come back and we're going to think about it. You're going to meditate on it. You're going to pray about it, whatever. And we'll address it later. I'm like, yeah, but I want to talk about it now. He's like, nope, no, no. Listen, grasshopper, we're going to come back to this. So we came back to it like a few days later. And he's like, are you getting this from this person?
• 45:35
  No, I'm not. What do you want? Read me this letter. So I read him the letter. I wanted compassion. Empathy. I didn't want somebody to be harsh all the time. I wanted somebody who can make I feel statements. Like Kelly, we were at the concert. I feel...
• 45:53
  hurt by what you said, or I feel hurt by what you did, or I feel hurt that we didn't get there sooner. I feel like just, you know, just generally expressing how you feel like I want somebody who can express themselves. I said earlier, I could give two shits about what your IQ is because IQ doesn't mean anything. My grandfather used to say a PhD stands for piled higher and deeper, and I totally believe he's right.
• 46:16
  No offense to any doctors. Piled higher and deeper. And my grandfather was brilliant. And so EQ is really important, right? Somebody who I can feel connected to. Somebody who I can feel safe with, where I can express how I'm feeling, and they know the worst things about me, and they're not going to get insecure or weird about it, and they're going to love me like a best friend. Think about it. Think of your best friend right now. Think of the worst thing that you know about them. Do you want to run away from them, or do you still love them?
• 46:45
  I love everybody. Yeah. But I know. Despite what they're beating themselves over. I give unconditional love and it's to a fault. Perfect. And so you get the point, right? And so I want to have, I wanted to have that sort of romantic relationship, right? But I knew I wasn't going to get it in my current state. And it wasn't somebody else's fault. It's my fault, right? I don't think things happened to me. I think they happened for me. Yeah.
• 47:09
  And so all that being said, going back to what Donald Miller was talking about, I had to change my thinking because we become what we think about. I had to change those neurotransmitters. I had to get rid of the mylon sheaths, which are this protective coating around the neurotransmitters in our brain. It takes a long time and a lot of money and a lot of stress and exercise and really changing how your brain thinks about things. And so I had to go through that whole process to get to the point where I am today.
• 47:39
  So many good things to unpack. I don't have any notes since we're flying off script. I can't write things down. I just want to hit one thing on that. When you believe it, you will see it. Yeah. Not the other way around. I'll believe it when I see it. It's when you believe it, you'll see it. A hundred percent. So I developed this list of, I call them the four C's of what I need in a relationship. The four C's. Consistency, conviction, communication, connection.
• 48:06
  If I don't get these in a relationship, I'm sorry. It's just not for me. Not you're not for me. Just this relationship is not for me. I noticed there was no chaos in there. Yeah. That comes after. It comes in the bedroom. But no consistency. That's what God has said. She gets us into trouble.
• 48:21
  Yeah. Well, I'd argue that if you have a healthy relationship that it's three or four of these four C's, you're going to have. I think if you hit all four, you're going to be there's there'll be it will be no case. That's a that's a pun because we have and I'm going to say we we have chosen chaotic relationships because all we ever knew that was the familiar misery. Yes. And we've stopped it. And it's it. I'm not doing it anymore. Totally. You have those four C's that you just said, you'll have the fifth one chemistry.
• 48:45
  Yeah, totally. And so I keep these. They're screenshotted on my phone. I love it. Right? And so my point is, and this isn't perfection. Like I had one person that was like, well, you're shooting for the moon and the stars and you're shooting for too perfect. I'm like, this isn't perfect though. I don't want perfection. I want somebody who's going to cut somebody off in traffic and throw an F-bomb. I want somebody who's not afraid to be authentic. I want...
• 49:08
  Somebody who is an alcoholic and recovered alcoholic and it's okay if they have a screw up. I want to have somebody that is not afraid to make a mistake. And you live in this like hyper anxiety, stressed out state of mind and you can't enjoy life because you're just living in anxiety, right? Like I want...
• 49:27
  like these four things are so important to me that I will not settle. I will not sacrifice. If, if that relationship doesn't give me that, it's just not for me again. It's not about rejecting you. It's rejecting mediocrity. So consistency, conviction, communication, connection, they're really important. And if I don't have those four things, we're done. That's the first time I've heard of that. We've talked a thousand times and you've never said that to me. You held that one back for the podcast. I like that. I did. The, ah, it's so good, Dave. Um, God, I just like lost for words. There's, there's,
• 49:59
  Full vulnerability, what is it that you're struggling, what is it that you're battling right now? What are you working on? Yeah, I think just the continued mindset shifts, the changes, right? And so I tend to get stuck, like depression runs in my family, so I'll have dark moments every once in a while. Just wondering...
• 50:20
  is all the work that I'm doing worth it? You know, you and I have talked about it how many times, right? Not just like personal work, but like the work work, right? Like I love SGS. I love our clients. We work with B2B companies and e-commerce companies and IT companies all around the country. And it's great. And I love them and, and they love us and we do good work and, you know, and vice versa. Yeah.
• 50:39
  But it's like, man, what's that next big thing for me, right? Like ideating, looking at the future. It's really hard for me to relax and be in the present. People call me too intense sometimes. I've been called too serious because I don't like to laugh. And, you know, I don't do drugs, booze. One of my pastor friends used to say, it was a rhyme.
• 51:04
  Don't smoke, don't drink, don't chew, don't date people who do.
• 51:11
  And I remember thinking way back when, when I heard, I was like, that's ridiculous. And now it's like, yeah, it's not too far off. And in the book, Outwitting the Devil, Napoleon Hill has this like, he claims he had a conversation with the real great Shaton, right? Satan himself. And the family didn't publish the book until many years later because they thought he was We had dinner with Satan last night, by the way, just in case, you know, he's the devil himself. Yes, he is.
• 51:36
  And so I was like, man, the other guys who wouldn't get us the cheesecake. Yeah. Or not the cheesecake, the carrot cake. The carrot cake. That's so in the book, he talks about the very first thing he asks the devil. He says, how do you disrupt a human being's life? And the devil's like, well, I'm going to tell you my secrets, but you can't publish them anywhere. He's like, OK, fine, whatever. And the devil says, the first thing I do and the most impactful thing I do is,
• 52:00
  to kill human innovation, to control people's lives, is I get them addicted. And now he claims he had this conversation like back in the 30s and 40s. Well, what was the addictive substance back then? Cigarettes. Every doctor in America was recommending Lucky Strike, menthol brand cigarettes. Everybody was smoking, right? And so you get them addicted to cigarettes and then it numbs your brain and you get addicted to other substances like overeating, sugar, obesity, alcohol. The list goes on, right?
• 52:30
  So I think the whole booze rhyme that one of my pastor friends told me resonates with me, right? And so I want to build a life. And sometimes I wonder, God, I'm like, you know, you see people with other people and they look happy on Instagram or happy on Snapchat or happy on Facebook or whatever. Snapchat? Yeah. Any person over 40 who's using Snapchat and using it for good ethical purposes, let's just be honest. Oh, what was the meme I saw recently? I said...
• 52:59
  Someone gives you their Snapchat handle and you're like, oh, you cheat cheat. Yeah, yeah. So I think that, you know, for me, the struggle is, you know, the reward. And I don't see the reward now immediately. And sometimes I struggle with patience. And so if I'm not patient or if I'm in a mood or whatever, or eat bad pizza the night before, whatever, you wonder if this is really worth it. Yeah.
• 53:23
  But I have to keep telling myself it is because I am living a clean, lean, mean life. I got a good bank account. I got great team members at SGS. We went through a reset recently. I've been through an incredibly stressful period from March until about a month ago.
• 53:41
  loss of my dad. I had to let go of a handful of employees. We had to go through a company reset. Some personal struggles as we've shared that I won't go into here. Stress of just dealing with my family and helping my mom get her, her sea legs under her and learn her independence. Now that my stepdad is gone because he used to do everything for her. Some health struggles, you know, that I've, that I've been battling through and, you know,
• 54:05
  So all of that just hit me in a wave. And Michael Hyatt talks about seasons. You know, we're either going through a season, you're in the middle season or coming out of a season. And so I'm coming out of one. But each season that I go through is a little bit harder than the previous one. And the previous one prepares you for the next one. And so I'm like, bring it on. There's not much. I mean, just short of death.
• 54:24
  you know, there's not much more stress you could have. So I wonder if the reward is, if the risk is worth the reward or if a good friend of mine used to say, if the juice is worth the squeeze.
• 54:37
  Well, you were sandbagging me last night and this morning as we were talking, because we were talking about all this, and you knew we were coming on the podcast, you didn't say anything. So we must believe that we're making invisible progress. Yes. Because all those things you're saying, I do the same thing. And not to measure, because, you know, comparisons to Thief of Joy, but...
• 54:56
  the amount of work that I do on myself daily, I keep saying, you know, when is it going to pay off? When is it going to pay off? But you just did exactly what we're supposed to do is gratitude. Yep. And I started thinking about, you know, I have everything I need. Yeah. I have everything I really want. I just want to make a big donation to charity at the end of the year. And I just want to be in content and live experiences. So,
• 55:20
  To sit back and go, you know, I was about to say to you, I'm coming out, I'm in the seventh month of just a...
• 55:28
  who knows what this season is? It has been a struggle. It is, but it's preparing me for the, for what's coming. I say this all the time. Adversity is either just left. It's here or it's leaving. Yeah. So when you're going through these dark seasons, it's preparing you for the next dark season and the, and, and for even the positive season. So a lot of times I'll say where life is a roller coaster and we don't, we want to be on a roller coaster because you want to experience the ups and the downs. There's a beauty part of being in the downs is, you know, the up is coming.
• 55:58
  it's the people that are on that merry-go-round, the proverbial merry-go-round that just goes in circles and circles and circles till they puke. And that's just not living. No. I also had a friend recently, you know, we were talking about business owners. And he was like, I could never date a non-business owner. I couldn't date somebody who had a W-2 95 job. And I'm like, how come? He's like, it's so hard to relate. And he's like, I'm like,
• 56:22
  He's like, do you ever tell your family your struggles? I'm like, I mean, I don't tell them every detail because they won't understand. And they will think it's the worst thing in the world, right? Like I own a couple of franchises in Fargo. And there's been some legal battles and some financial struggles. And so starting March, I was fielding phone calls, threatening phone calls from corporate attorneys.
• 56:45
  Building emails, a dozen of them, half a dozen of them a day from my nothing from my own attorney, obviously, because he's in my camp. But that as well as the SGS struggles, as well as personal struggles, my stepdad passing away, losing a couple of really, really deep, profound relationships in my life. The stress was insurmountable.
• 57:07
  But I would rather have that stress every day of the week. I would absolutely go through that season all over again to get to where I am today and for the learning lessons that it taught me. And that might sound crazy. People would be like, you're fucking nuts to go through that again. I'm like, well, the benefit for me is I don't have any hair, so I didn't lose my hair because of the stress. I don't have to worry about that.
• 57:28
  But the problems that you have as a business owner are problems that nobody else goes through, right? And meaning somebody who's just a typical W-2, 9-5 employee. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like you need people who work inside of companies and work for somebody else. That's fine.
• 57:44
  But I'll work 100 hours a week for myself to have the freedom and to know that I am working toward abundance and that I'm working toward the kind of life that will set me up for success and set my children up for success later on if I choose to involve them in it versus working 50 hours for the man and having to punch in and punch out. And if I want to take PTO, if I want to come see you in Detroit, I got to get approval from somebody. It's like, no way, I don't want to do that.
• 58:11
  What's your biggest accomplishment that isn't your kids to, I usually ask this as career, you can go career, you can go personal. What's the, what's the thing that you're like, I'm really proud. I'm most proud of that. What's the biggest accomplishment you've, you've achieved in your life so far that isn't your children. Of course, that's going to be the biggest one.
• 58:29
  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my daughters are awesome. Uh, I'd have to say learning to walk again at 17. So I almost died in a ski accident when I was 17, December 23rd, 1994. So my heart stopped twice on an operating table when I was in surgery. I lost so much blood. So long story short, this holiday weekend, December 23rd, 1994, I was trying to keep up with my two brothers and I'm the oldest of three and they're still even to this day better athletes than I am. And I envy that about them.
• 58:58
  But I was trying to keep up with them, hit something, and split open my pelvis, fractured my tailbone. I have no tailbone anymore. And I had a heraldone infraction in my hip on my left-hand side. And so I didn't know what happened, of course, and got airlifted to a hospital where they put me into surgery. And the orthopedic surgeon, many years later...
• 59:22
  I heard, um, through my stepbrother who was his nurse. He works for him as a nurse. And he was like, David Scott. And he's like, yeah, I remember that name. That dude shouldn't be, he shouldn't be alive, should not even be alive. And he's like, I'm, I'm an atheist. I'm not even a man of God. This is a surgeon saying that he goes, but that kid is a frigging miracle. Um,
• 59:38
  And so I lost so much blood, my heart stopped on the operating table and they were about to declare me dead. But here I am. And so when I got out of that surgery, of course, I didn't know what happened because you're out. And all my muscles atrophied in both my legs. I had to learn how to walk like a little kid, like a toddler, except I was a very active 17 year old. I played football.
• 59:59
  soccer, I was in track. I mean, active 17 year old kid, right? You take away their legs and you can't really do much. And so I thought I couldn't do much, but I can. So I had to learn that whole process over again and learn how to walk and run and ski. And every year I go skiing, I have a post-traumatic stress response at the top of the ski hill every year, every year, just the first run. Again, it's like jumping out of an airplane, your body's trying to trick you.
• 1:00:24
  don't do this. You go down that fucking scale. You are going to die. That's what my brain is telling me. Thoughts are magical lies. Yes, but I'm a phenomenal skier. I've skied all over the country. I've been skiing ever since I was nine and 10 years old. Like it's, I, what did you hit? I hit, it's called a shoot pole. Yeah.
• 1:00:40
  So it was really icy. The conditions were nasty. It was snowing out. And I was just screaming down this hill. And I lost my balance. And chute poles are these like cement poles. I go 10 feet into the ground. And there's ropes running through them. And they're used as a barrier around the chairlift to keep people from running into the frigging chairlift. And I kissed it head on coming down the hill.
• 1:01:05
  It sounds horrible, and it actually was, but that's what I smacked. Lost my, I mean, I was a good skier then, but obviously you make a mistake. You know, I mean, look at Sonny Bono. He died on the ski hill, but he skied in the Swiss Alps. He skied in Japan and Tokyo. Who else did it? Wasn't one of the Kennedys? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, expert, expert skiers. I mean, you make one mistake. It's not a safe sport if you make a mistake.
• 1:01:29
  I was skiing. Where was I at? I was at some place where we were going down a double black, and it literally said in memory of so-and-so who died here. I was like, I got a picture of it, me and my uncle. And I look, I go, and, of course, we skied down it, and it was tough. Yeah. But skiing is, oof, I love it. It's crazy. I've hit things before, but I'm a tough, bigger, big guy, and I just bounce off of things. Yeah. So working through that, like there's. Wow, I never knew that.
• 1:01:56
  Yeah, there's resilience and then there's resilience, right? And so I remember the doctor after the surgery, he's like, you probably won't run again. He's like, we're going to have to test you to make sure you can have kids. That might be an issue because you smacked your plumbing. You know, we're going to have to make sure that you're okay. And I remember thinking, not running and walking again, I was like, fuck you. I am absolutely going to run and walk again. You just watch. And within a year, I was... Were you a senior in high school or junior? Junior. I was going into my senior year. So how long were you out of commission for school?
• 1:02:26
  Uh, so I did, I had a tutor that come to my house and then I, once I got back into school, I had a walker. And as I was going through PT, physical therapy, getting my legs back underneath me, getting my, my muscles back to where they are. And, uh, yeah. Wow. That's harder than life, man. That's awesome. I never knew that. That's. Yeah.
• 1:02:45
  That's overcoming adversity and resilience like I've never heard before. I've never had to deal with anything like that. So, wow. What is something you believe in that almost nobody else agrees with you on? Oof. Gosh. Say that question again. What's something you believe in that almost nobody agrees with you on? Hmm.
• 1:03:12
  Well, you can call me an eternal optimist. You can say that I live in the clouds, but I always believe there's hope in any situation. And even when people are maybe in the middle of a tough season or a tough situation, like think of the worst possible scenario, like maybe a plane is crashing and you're about to hit the ground, right? Like...
• 1:03:32
  I still always believe in hope. I believe there's hope for any situation. I believe there's always hope in any relationship. I believe there's hope in any, any circumstance. And I think it was, um, Victor Frankl, his, uh, he was a, um, Nazi, uh, wasn't a Nazi. He was a Jewish man search for meeting your, the book you're talking about. Yes. Yeah. He talks about if you remove a man's hope, you remove his heart and in one of the books and he saw his family, he was,
• 1:03:57
  prisoner, concentration camp prisoner, literally saw his family killed right in front of him through a death squad. And, uh, you know, what a powerful story, but he talked about in this, in the book, having hope. And he said, if you have hope, you can keep a man alive for a million years, take away his hope, take away his heart. And so I've always believed that in any circumstance, there's always hope.
• 1:04:15
  It's funny because I always say this, it's not funny, but, uh, it's, I always say there's a, we can fix anything but that, you know, and I agree with that. So that's the, that's the morbid version of your saying, uh, what, uh, what's the best advice you've ever received? Benjamin Franklin, what said, uh,
• 1:04:40
  Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. And I believe that. My grandpa used to say that too. Nothing lasts forever.
• 1:04:52
  And I don't mean like a rusted out car. I don't mean like a material possession. I mean like a season. Like nothing lasts forever. My grandfather used to say, you're going through, like I actually have a letter from him when I lived with him when I went to junior college, community college for two years from 1996 to 1998. And so I lived with him and my grandma. And I remember...
• 1:05:15
  I got kicked out when I was 19, not because I was doing anything stupid. I was just being an asshole to my stepdad and my mom. And they were like, you got to go. So I had the opportunity to move with my dad or my stepmom and go to junior college on the Iron Range. Or I could go to my grandparents' home.
• 1:05:32
  so I learned more from them in like two years and they were married for 62 years before they got, before he passed away back in 2003 and just watching them to interact was so powerful, but so much wisdom from him. Right. And he was in his eighties when he died and he used to say nothing lasts forever. He used to hate Barry Sanders too, by the way, because Barry would run over the Vikings every single game was ridiculous. Yeah.
• 1:05:55
  but he would say nothing lasts forever. And when you'd ask him about it, you know, he'd simply say, well, no matter the, the bad thing you're going through, it won't last forever. Essentially, everything will be okay. We got to get, uh, you just mentioned that Barry Sanders still local around town. We'll have to get him on the podcast. So if you're listening, Barry, we're going to, we'll be reaching out to you to find you. So we'll talk about you running all over the Vikings. So, um, what gets you up, which gets you out of bed in the morning?
• 1:06:23
  I think once you go through a near-death experience like I went through, like it changes your perspective, right? That's why I like stories of people who've gotten bitten by sharks and maybe they lose a limb, but they come back even more better than before, right? Or somebody who's gotten a tragic car accident or Christopher Reeves, right? You know, he fell off of his horse, he had a horse riding accident and, uh, he was still able to inspire people, not through acting of course, like he used to do before because he wasn't physically able, but through other ways.
• 1:06:49
  And so I think of people who go through really tough circumstances and they go through a near death experience or a death experience and they bounce back from it. So I think that's what gets me up. I just have a zeal for life. I love commerce. I love making money. I love listening to people's stories. I love ideating with them and I just have a zeal and a passion for life. Love it. What did you give me a book recommendation?
• 1:07:13
  We did. 90 Seconds to the Life of Love by Joan Rosenberg. That is a good one. The other one would be my favorite book of all time, which is the Napoleon Hill book we talked about earlier, Outwitting the Devil. I got to read that. I've never read it. Phenomenal book. I can't believe I've never caught that one.
• 1:07:31
  What, uh, what's something I, I haven't asked you that you feel compelled to share? Oh, I was hoping you'd ask this question. Kelly, I want to tell you, I love you. And I want to tell you that some of the conversations that you and I've had have saved my life. Mm-hmm.
• 1:07:47
  And I want to tell you that you are loved and that you do matter and that you are important and that you are valuable. And it's not about what other people think that. It's about you thinking that and knowing that. And so I love you very much. And our friendship has grown over time. And it is one of the coolest relationships that I have.
• 1:08:10
  Thank you. I receive all that. I wish it got easier when Kristen said that to me. It's tough, man. It's to receive love growing up the way that I did and, you know, read my book, Harder Than Life. It's a good book. Very vulnerable.
• 1:08:30
  with your parents not loving you, treating you like absolute shit. Yeah. It's really hard to receive love. And, and, but I do feel it. I do receive it. I have to do it forcefully and it's no easier. And I appreciate it. And I, whenever everything gets tough, I do call you and I have a great support system and I have really good friends now that understand me. Um,
• 1:08:54
  But it isn't easy. None of this is easy. Making the change that I made and continue to make. And there's something you said and I wanted to talk about. Nobody's perfect, but I'm going to aim for perfection. I'm going to land on extraordinary. But notice I'm not going to settle for good or great. I want extraordinary. So I'm going to shoot for the stars and end up just a little bit lower. But I'm going to end up better than just great or good. And I'm watching you do that.
• 1:09:24
  And it's exciting. Yeah. And to know that we're going through it together. And I'll be vulnerable. I mean, it's no secret that the both of us would love to be loved. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. And that will last forever. You said nothing lasts forever. That will last forever.
• 1:09:42
  But we keep battling the relationship because we hadn't dealt with our traumas and our wounds, and we are. And that's why we're here today. And I made sure that this weekend was cleared so we can talk and just do nothing and be buddies and go...
• 1:10:02
  experience life and live life together and bounce ideas and realize that we aren't alone so i don't i feel the love i thank you and man i did that uh you know you see it in my bathroom love everybody and tell the truth and and we talked about it this morning is life is so simple we just continue to make it hard we complicated just looked right at each other and said what we really were thinking hey man
• 1:10:26
  I'm scared. Yeah. You know, I'm nervous that I'm not lovable. Yep. And I need, I need you to make sure that you don't do anything that you're going to leave me. And I'm, I'm hype. I'm, I'm hypothesizing here. Yeah. I've worked through all that. Yeah. And, but it's still, it's hard to hear that. And I, I appreciate it very much. And I'm grateful for you. And there are no coincidences. This is how I started the podcast. There are no coincidences. You stepped into my life, which actually changed NTM's life when you were at B and G. And,
• 1:10:55
  that relationship flourished. They did well. Everybody, it's amazing how if you just let life happen and surrender to your higher power, whether it be source, whether it be God, whether it be Jesus, whatever it is, and just stop, what we resist persists. Just let life happen. And it gets so good. And I want to ask you the question is,
• 1:11:18
  How good can you handle life? How good can I handle life? As good as it can come. So paint me done for 10 years from now. You're 45, 55. We're sitting back here in the Harder Than Life podcast. What does it look like for you? Oh, gosh. So I've always wanted to be a business consultant, like a traction EOS consultant. So I think someday what will happen is...
• 1:11:40
  I'll either get my point at the firm where somebody's running it for me or I'll sell it in about four or five years. You know, I'll be 50 then, which is so crazy to think about. That's the next milestone because I don't feel 50. I still feel 25, 30 years old and I act like it too.
• 1:11:57
  I just said to somebody, I had a bunch of fraternity reunion of my friends and some of the guys I haven't seen in 30 years. I said, guys, think of how that 30 years, that doesn't feel like 30 years ago. It feels like yesterday. But it was. So we fast forward another 30 years, you're 75. Oh, my God. And you're a year older than your stepfather. Jeez.
• 1:12:15
  That's freaking freaky. And it's going to blink and it's going to be here. Because that last 30 years went by quick. Yeah. So live your freaking life, people. Yeah, yeah. Present. Absolutely. Be present. When you live in the past, you live in depression. When you live in the future, you live in anxiety. And Jordan Peterson also talks about that. Live in the present. Those things will be eliminated, mostly.
• 1:12:36
  So I feel like I'll probably be some sort of business consultant. I'll be helping young entrepreneurs out. I love not necessarily startups, but early stage businesses, guys who are in their 20s, 30s, a lot of panache, a lot of piss and vinegar, right? And so I'll be helping them in some way, shape or form. I don't ever want to retire. I might not want to retire.
• 1:12:56
  I'm not going to be working like 50, 60, 70 hours a week like I am now, but I feel like that'll be the next evolution. I'll be up to something like that. And I'll be with the woman of my dreams, whoever that is. And hopefully live in someplace warm. I don't have to shovel snow anymore. Like I do in tropical Fargo, North Dakota. And that'll be life. My parents will be gone. Well, probably gone. Some of them, two of them will be gone by then. My dad is in almost an 80, 76 now. And,
• 1:13:21
  So if he's around in 10 years, we'll probably be close to kicking the bucket. And yeah, I want to, that's what I'll be up to in about 10 years. You ever do that eulogy exercise?
• 1:13:32
  Yes, Donald Miller talks about that too in his book. Write your eulogy on a regular basis. I have. It's a hard one to do, but it's cathartic. It's therapeutic. You know, you see about... I think it changes your perspective when you do it, right? You're like, holy shit, I want to do all these things, but I'm not doing them. Or I want to be able to write this, but I'm not that. So how do I get to that, right? How do I be that person? Like a woman I dated one time, she said...
• 1:13:58
  then start being the man that a woman would want to love and spend the rest of her life with. And I was like, damn, that was such good wisdom. The best wisdom I've ever heard. And it wasn't even from a coach or a dating guru. And she was right, right? And so as you write your eulogy, you want to be able to have people say that about you. And so it's a good exercise to do if nobody's ever done it.
• 1:14:22
  I always say that, you know, we both have daughters. I always say, be the person you want your daughter to date. You know, so, and that's who I am. Who is that? What does that look like? Who? What core attributes or character traits does he have to have? Number one thing to me is this is a complete alignment with what you say and what you do. That is just, it's the fundamental of my being. So this guy has to be in alignment with what your daughter stands for.
• 1:14:50
  what he, no, what he stands for and what he, what he stands for and what he does are the two things. I want that in complete alignment. Yeah. And I, and she's, we, we bicker about that cause she's 14. So that is the number one. And it's, I'm a big four agreements guy. So be impeccable with your word. Don't take anything personal. Don't make assumptions and always do your best. Yeah.
• 1:15:11
  Those are my four. I say there's not a day that goes by that I don't remind myself of. Stop making assumptions, Siegel. Yeah. Or, you know, don't take anything personal because –
• 1:15:23
  I got a news flash for you. It ain't about you. No. We had this conversation about previous exes. And I said, hey, man, we got to iron through that. We got to unpack that because you're making it about you and it's nothing about you. It's they don't choose themselves. Yes. Because they don't want to. They chose easy. Yes. They didn't choose hard. You're hard. No pun intended. Yes.
• 1:15:45
  But being with you, you're going to have standards and accountability that they weren't ready for. Totally. And that's why it didn't work out. And it's not meant to be. There are no coincidences. God is removing these people from your life to give you the one that you want. But it's so hard when you see all the stuff on social and you see them happy and you see them out at restaurants and you see them doing this stuff and you're like, fuck.
• 1:16:06
  fuck, why can't that be me? That's a limiting self-belief, right? Because you know... It will be you. Yeah, totally. But my point is, you see it initially, and then you're stuck in your head, right? Or you see them dating, or with such and such, or so and so. And then you get in this mantra, and you go down this rabbit hole, and it's going to be so dark, right? And then you start to realize, well, my past doesn't define me, first of all. And they're probably, let's look at the facts, they're probably really not happy. And to your point, they chose easy. Don't make assumptions. Yeah.
• 1:16:33
  Did I make an assumption? You said they're probably not happy. But remember this. Have you ever seen, I'm the only person in the world that posts unhappy pictures. Yeah. Everybody always posts and they'll take 30 of them. Right. So that's what it's supposed to do. Your highlight, it's your highlight reel of your life. Totally. So social media, in my opinion, is one of the worst things. Social media is going to be one of the things like,
• 1:16:55
  a toxic behavior, people scrolling behavior. And it's just, and then they believe everything you say on there. And it's like, no, no research this stuff. You have your own brain because the algorithm is meant to do that. It's made to make you think you're the smartest person. Cause it's going to, when you like things, it's going to continue to show you the things that you like so they can keep you scrolling. So you buy something or stay on that. Yes. When they say, if something is free,
• 1:17:23
  You're the freaking, you're the product. Yep, totally. And they want to keep you on their platforms and keep you engaged. Exactly. So my point, to your point, is, yeah, keep doing the right things and focusing on those core attributes. So that's what you want your daughter to pursue someday, a guy who has those core attributes. Well, she doesn't pursue. Remember, we're going to magnetize. We're going to attract people.
• 1:17:46
  There you go. What she wants. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By doing, by loving herself. Yep. Getting everything internally that she needs first, becoming whole all on her own. Yep. And then attracting another whole where they can become bigger, larger than life or harder than life. Yep. So do you ever, do you think that's possible? Do you think somebody can be 100% healed and whole and ready for a relationship? Yeah.
• 1:18:08
  Absolutely. Really? Yeah. And I think also people can heal together. I disagree. I, you know, I, I, I'd love to hear it. I, I, that's just me being the eternal optimist and it gets me into trouble. Uh, I do believe, I don't say anything's a hundred percent. The only, the only hundred percent is death and taxes and change, but I'm going to look at it as a positive and say, um, yeah.
• 1:18:34
  Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm going to be an optimist. And I believe that people can be happy if they're both in the arena fighting and they don't refuse to give up on each other and on themselves. Because what happens? What did you say? Most of these people are giving up on themselves. They ain't giving up on you. They're giving up on themselves. So lean into that uncomfortable.
• 1:18:56
  yes say the vulnerability is cool man and you'll be surprised that other person is going to pick up on that vulnerability and love you got it so if they're not 100 healed yet they're at least self-aware of what they need to heal through and they're doing the work together that's what i heard you say yeah got it that makes sense it's it's it's a process i can get behind that
• 1:19:16
  But so many people, we started off at the beginning of this. Most people won't do the work because of the familiar misery. And they do the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. And they say that's a definition of insanity. But, you know, I don't know, man. All I can say is unless you have contrast, and this is what is great about me choosing to not drink. I was the best partier.
• 1:19:40
  I've been six years ago. I went to Sam Hunt, which we're going to tonight and I was drinking and I had a freaking blast and I met what I thought was the woman of my dreams. But it was, it was the, the catalyst to what you see right here, right now. Yeah. God put her in my life to level up. Being in that relationship was the main motivator to stop drinking. Yeah. And then look what happened. I wrote a book.
• 1:20:04
  I built an even more successful IT company. Have a home in Florida. Have a home in Florida. Everything is aligned because of that one event. Yeah. Now I didn't end up with her because she wasn't the one. She wasn't willing to do the work. Right. And she said a million times, perhaps you should be with someone who's further along on their healing journey than me. Turns out she was right. Whether you think you are or you think you aren't.
• 1:20:29
  You're right. Yeah. So it's funny. So here we go. Six years later, I'm going to be completely sober. We're going to have a blast. Yeah. And we'll see what happens. Esther Perel talks a lot about, you know, you talked about the familiar misery. She talks about,
• 1:20:42
  And she's a PhD, brilliant woman, amazing, beautiful, brain, just everything about her thoughts just screams. Isn't she in the 90s? She's old. Yeah, she's old. I've just recently even turned on. If she's in the 90s, she looks phenomenal. But she was talking about how women want the familiar chaos, not the high value, because that's what they're used to. And she was giving...
• 1:21:06
  she wrote a great book talking about infidelity. It's probably one of the best books I've ever read. I know it's a touchy subject for a lot of people, same in my world. Infidelity is really not the worst thing a relationship can go through. It's really not. Like there are way worse things than infidelity. And so she breaks down in the book this map of why people cheat, why they emotionally cheat, why they cheat on Snapchat, why they cheat in person, why they cheat...
• 1:21:34
  work affairs, you know, whatever, just pick your poison. And she walks down this road of like 10, 20, 30 years worth of data to show the couples that go through catastrophic, cataclysmic events inside of their relationship, married relationship, oftentimes have a stronger, closer bond. And the data supports that. It's like 90 plus percent. It's amazing.
• 1:21:56
  So in the book, she talks a lot about the familiar, not the familiar misery, but she talks about how women specifically will not want a high value guy or a guy who's emotionally connected because they freak them out. And they choose the familiar chaos. They choose the familiar misery. And the same philosophy of formula can be applied to men too, right? If you're an unhealed dude and you like chasing girls who are just easy to get, then that's all you're going to beget, right?
• 1:22:22
  But if you do the work on yourself and you start to make changes, you're going to realize those relationships are not healthy and good. And you're going to make changes. You're going to quote unquote level up. I hate that cliche, but it's just true. So you start to level up. You start to do things differently. You start to get into different conversations. You go to different places. Instead of meeting chicks at bars or women at restaurants, you meet.
• 1:22:40
  classy, high value women in places of business, women who aren't going to put up with bullshit and they shouldn't, women who aren't going to be okay with addictions to drugs and alcohol, women who aren't going to consume drugs and alcohol, women who expect more from you, right? Like the, you know, what I said earlier, the woman I dated one time said, if you want to be, if you want to be happy, if you want to find a great relationship, then start being the man that a woman will want to love and spend the rest of her life with.
• 1:23:07
  And you make changes in your life, you'll start to see those things impact and that impact will start to happen. And so, you know, getting back to your point, I think Esther Perel was spot on. Women, guys in general, they don't want a relationship that's hard because it's just that it's hard and it's, it's easy to stay in your familiar chaos.
• 1:23:29
  Yeah, and they grew up in a chaotic life. That's what I grew up in. I mean, it was chaos. It was survival. Yeah. So when things get calm in my life, I get a little nervous. So chaos is all I've ever known, so it's all I've ever dated, and that's why I'm single for the last two years because –
• 1:23:46
  I won't do it anymore. It's just, I just reached a point where I just can't. And I won't. And, you know, the number one thing about healing is your dating pool gets very, very, very small. And that's also what makes it hard. And you are forced to look internal and love yourself and get everything that you require from yourself. And that's, I'm allowed to pay that forward.
• 1:24:09
  with my daughter. And, you know, eventually when you are that person that you're looking for or that you would like to be, or I'm sorry, when you become the person that you want to attract, it'll happen. At least that's everything I read. So the next time I have you on here, we got to wrap it up. We're coming up an hour and a half. The next time I have you on here, I fully expect you to bring a significant other that is lifting you up and pushing you to become the best possible marketer,
• 1:24:38
  Father, man, and friend, which I think you're all those things anyways, and somebody's just missing out, and she'll be around. And the same thing will be for me. Same for you. It's going to happen, and I already know that I already manifest her, and I just, you know what you got to do? You got to say no more. We both have to say no more when we see the red flags, because they're freaking, they're right there. They say, what was it, that...
• 1:25:03
  The thing that attracts you to them is usually what breaks you up, especially when you're that's especially when you're on healed. So I would agree. You got any closing thoughts? Cause I got to do the whole, but I want to give you a last, we still got about three minutes. Is there anything else you want to want to say on the harder than life podcast before we head off to Sam Hunt?
• 1:25:21
  Man, just eliminate drugs, eliminate booze, live a healthy life, be kind and compassionate, be empathetic, be patient, especially if you're going through something, just be patient. Everybody's going through something. Be awesome, be kind.
• 1:25:37
  Love everything. Tell the truth, man. I hear you. We're not here for a long time. No. So I always say that. You know, it's just people say you only live once. I say you only die once. We live every day. 100% true. Enjoy it. And I'm looking forward to a fun night with you tonight. I want to remind everybody to go out and buy the Heart of the Life book.
• 1:25:58
  Go give us a follow, kelly.segal at 71. You'll have both of Dave's handles. Please follow him. He's a brilliant marketer, brilliant sales coach, business coach. And remember, this is all sponsored by National Technology Management, the easiest and best IT company to do business with. Shoot over to trustntm.com to find out more information. And until next week, be harder than life. Love you, Dave. Thanks for coming. Appreciate it, man. Grateful.
• 1:26:27
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